Impact Wrestling – December 17, 2014

Impact
Wrestling
Date:
December 17, 2014
Location:
Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators:
Mike Tenay, Don West, Taz
Hosts:
Christy Hemme, Jeremy Borash
Reviewed by Tommy Hall
Since
the show is leaving Spike, this episode is the first half of a Top 20
Moments in TNA History and is airing at 11pm instead of the usual 9pm
timeslot. It gets even better next week with the show starting at
midnight on Christmas Eve night. When they bury a show they really
bury it. Let’s get to it.

As
usual I’ll be posting the full versions of any matches that are
clipped.
20.
Lockdown 2008.
TNA World
Title: Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe
In
a cage with Angle defending and Joe’s career on the line. They
haven’t had a PPV match in awhile so we get a recap of their whole
history. This is treated more like an MMA fight with Angle in black
shorts instead of his usual singlet and MMA fighter Frank Trigg on
commentary. Before the match, Angle has Karen thrown out from her
front row seat.
They
even start by standing in MMA stances before trading leg kicks. Joe
gets a leg bar but Angle is almost immediately in the ropes. Down to
the mat with Angle hammering away at Joe’s guard as this is getting
old fast. Joe gets the better of some mat grappling before it’s back
to the stupid MMA stances. Angle finally snaps off a suplex and puts
on a side choke until Joe makes the ropes.
Off
to a front facelock from the champion before a quick German suplex
gets two. A shot to the knee puts Joe down again and we hit the
figure four. It’s about time we got to some wrestling. Joe finally
turns it over but Angle is right next to the ropes. Angle cranks on
the leg again but Joe chops his way out of it. That’s fine with Kurt
as he slaps on a quickly broken headlock. Seriously a headlock in a
cage match?
Back
up and Joe nails a clothesline to put Kurt down but he has to shake
his knee a bit. Kurt goes to the middle rope but gets caught by the
enziguri. The MuscleBuster is countered and Angle hooks the ankle
lock. Joe rolls out and gets two out of the release Rock Bottom out
of the corner. The powerbomb into the Walls of Jericho into the STF
into the crossface has Angle screaming.
Kurt
grabs the ankle to finally escape but Joe pulls Angle back down into
the crossface in the middle of the ring. Angle finally rolls over to
get the ropes but Joe puts it right back on. Another rope is grabbed
and the Angle Slam gets two. The champion puts on the ankle lock but
he spins one too many times and gets pulled into the Clutch, only to
use the referee’s shirt to make it to the ropes. Another Angle Slam
attempt is countered and Joe sends him face first into the cage
(first time it’s been used) and the MuscleBuster FINALLY gives Joe
the title.
Rating:
B. This got much better once they
stopped the stupid MMA stuff and had a wrestling match. There was no
need to have a cage here as it was only used once towards the end,
which could have been replaced by a kick or something like that.
It’s a good match and a good moment, but at the end of the day this
was too overdone for what it needed to be.
19.
Destination X 2012.
TNA
World Title: Austin Aries vs. Bobby Roode
Feeling
out process to start without a lot of offense either way. After
about a minute and twenty seconds they lock up and Roode grabs the
arm. Aries grabs the arm to counter but gets run over. They’re
still in slow mode and that’s fine. A rolling cradle gets two for
Aries and he hooks an STF. They hit the mat and Roode slaps him in
the back of his head a few times. Now Aries takes him down to the
mat and hits a slingshot tope for two.
Roode
hooks a headscissors on the mat which is quickly broken up and they
head outside. Aries hits a top rope ax handle to the floor but his
missile dropkick misses back inside and Roode takes over. Roode
hooks a chinlock but a knee drop misses. Aries fires off with kicks
and tries the Last Chancery but it doesn’t go on right. Roode goes
to the floor but avoids the suicide dive, sending Aries into the
barricade.
Roode
hooks a bodyscissors back in the ring followed by a hard whip into
the corner. He talks a lot of trash to the downed Aries and hits a
combination F5/Samoan Drop for two. Off to a body vice on the mat
and Aries is cut on the nose. Aries makes a comeback and fires off
forearms and chops in the corner. They slug it out and a discus
forearm puts Roode down. A clothesline puts Roode on the floor and
there’s the suicide dive which connects this time.
This
time the missile dropkick hits as well but Aries charges into a
powerslam out of the corner. Aries comes back again and tries the
Last Chancery again, but Roode is pretty bad at selling it. Roode
counters into a Crossface but Aries counters right back into the
Chancery. Aries gets in another shot to the head and goes up for the
450, but Roode moves. Aries rolls through it anyway but walks into
the spinebuster for two.
The
champion sends him shoulder first into the post and goes back to the
Crossface. That stays on for a long time but Aries makes the rope.
Roode is frustrated now so he grabs the belt, only to have it taken
away by the referee. That allows the champ to hit a low blow for
two. Roode argues with the referee and gets shoved into the corner,
allowing Aries to hit the corner dropkick.
Aries
tries the brainbuster but Roode escapes and the ref is bumped. Roode
hits a belt shot for a VERY close two. The fisherman’s suplex is
countered into a small package for two and Aries punts Roode in the
head. He grabs the brainbuster out of nowhere for the pin and the
title in a huge shocker.
Rating:
B+.
Another good match to close the show here, but the point of this was
in the surprise. This felt like a big moment and it was the right
call to pull the trigger here. This show was designed around the
X-Division and having the longest reigning champion win the world
title here was the right way to make the X Title look like it can be
something comparable to the world title. Good match too.
18.
Victory Road 2010.
Tag
Titles: Beer Money vs. Motor City Machine Guns

Ok
so the Guns more or less have to win here. I like the Guns’ music.
Storm and Shelley start us off. They’re doing a slow build to start
us off as Taz says the Guns are the best team from their city,
including the Tigers. Uh, deep? We get a Mel Torme reference of all
things as we’re talking about tap dancing. Beer Money takes over
and after a double vertical suplex they do their thing.

Shelley
is getting beaten on. This is a good match so far so it’s hard to
make jokes. Well other than Taz and Tenay who are always jokes. Ah
there’s Sabin. I like him better than Shelley I think. We crank it
up a bit and Sabin hits a running punt on Storm while he’s on the
apron and Storm is on the floor. The crowd is getting back into it a
bit too. Eye of the Storm gets two on Sabin.

I’m sorry for
the excessive play by play here but that’s the main thing going on
here. That made less than no sense but just go with it. We’ve lost
any resemblance of a tag match here as it’s just all insanity.
Maybe Heyman is booking the company. Everything just goes insane and
this is awesome for once. The Guns dominate as Storm has a beer
bottle. The referee gets beer spit in his face as the Guns hit a
combination splash/neckbreaker on Roode for two.

There’s
another referee here now and I have a bad feeling about this. It’s
ALL Guns here as we’re going fast paced here. They hit their kick
combination and cover Roode as Storm rolls Sabin up. The referees
count a double pin and it’s Dusty Finish time. Earl, not the
original referee, says restart it. The Guns win in like a minute with
the same thing they did earlier, making the restart TOTALLY
POINTLESS. Very good match though so I can’t complain
much.
Rating:
A-. This was a VERY good match. The main thing holding it back is the
restart which was the walking definition of overbooking. What in the
world is that supposed to help? Whatever it was I certainly don’t
get it. The Guns are the champions, albeit nearly three years later.
Still though, if they’re going to win them, at least win them in a
classic I guess. Very good match all the way through. Loved it.

We
get a collection of comedy moments from over the years, including
Shark Boy waking up in a hospital bed, Curry Man rambling and meeting
Shark Boy, Eric Young winning a bikini contest, Big Fat Oily Guy, the
Aces and 8’s Funeral, Jay Lethal and Flair having a WOO Off, Robbie
E. vs. Robbie T. in a Bro Off (E.’s face at the end of T.’s routine
still cracks me up), Shark Boy getting fat, Eric Bischoff being
dumped in a portable toilet and ODB marrying Eric Young.
17.
Impact – July 7, 2010.
This
is another moment where they put the wrong date on the show as it was
actually July 8. The moment is Jay Lethal’s perfect imitation of Ric
Flair which words don’t do justice. He had the voice down and every
catchphrase, sending Flair into fits in the ring. Go find this one
online because it’s hilarious and all in the way Lethal sounds and
just typing it out would ruin the joke.
16.
Bound For Glory 2009.
X-Division
Title: Suicide vs. Daniels vs. Amazing Red vs. Homicide vs. Chris
Sabin vs. Alex Shelley
Ultimate
X with Red defending. Red is a guy that was around near the
beginning of TNA and did some very impressive flips, earning the
adulation of Don West. Don is now managing the champ and was known
to climb on the announcers’ table and cheer for him. Sabin and
Shelley won a match on the preshow to get in this match. Suicide is
a video game character who started appearing on TV, portrayed by
Daniels or Kazarian (the latter here). Homicide is part of the World
Elite stable, which is a group of international wrestlers, led by
Eric Young, who feel they haven’t been treated right.
It’s
a mad scramble to the corners to start but no one can get anywhere.
Everyone goes after everyone with Homicide getting the biggest
advantage by taking down Shelley and diving through the ropes to take
out Daniels. Suicide rolls the champion over and dives onto Homicide
but the Guns work together to set up a suicide dive on…uh Suicide
actually. Red kicks Shelley but gets dropped by Daniels, who goes
for a climb. Red isn’t done yet and hurricanranas Daniels onto
everyone else in the match.
Back
in and Sabin busts out a giant swing on Red but Shelley adds a
dropkick to the champ’s head to make it even worse. Daniels attacks
both Guns and Homicide goes for a climb, only to have Suicide
springboard up to the ropes and make a save, only to get pulled down
into a Gringo Cutter. Sabin holds Daniels and Homicide for a top
rope double stomp from Shelley.
The
Guns continue their control by working over Red but the champion
escapes a Doomsday Device with a Sliced Bread #2 instead of a
clothesline and takes Sabin down with a hurricanrana. Suicide comes
back in but Homicide suplexes him down. Homicide drops the champ and
goes up but Daniels pulls him down and nails a Death Valley Driver.
Red goes for the ropes but slowly comes back down for some reason,
only to go back towards the belt until Suicide pulls him back down.
Now
it’s Daniels and Sabin going up and kicking at each other while
hanging in the air, eventually knocking each other down for a big
crash. Sabin nails a tornado DDT on Daniels and Shelley nails a
Sliced Bread #2 on Suicide. We get the Parade of Secondary
Finishers, followed by Shelley, Red and Suicide hitting a huge Tower
of Doom out of the corner with Suicide taking the worst of it (and
kicking Daniels in the face on the way down).
Suicide
throws Daniels down but Red kicks him in the face and gets caught by
a corkscrew dive. Sabin goes nuts until Suicide kicks him off the
top rope. Suicide goes right back up and hits the Flux Capacitor on
Sabin, setting up Daniels’ Best Moonsault Ever. Daniels and Suicide
climb onto the top of the structure above the cables and Red follows
after them.
The
fans ask them not to die so Daniels and Suicide tease suplexing each
other off. They slap each other until Daniels carefully climbs down
onto the X but Suicide does the same and they both fall with Daniels
landing on his head. Tazz rightfully shouts CHECK HIM as Red slips
down through the treeses as well and grabs the title before someone
dies.
Rating:
C+. That Daniels bump had
me terrified when I saw it live and it doesn’t get any easier here.
Thankfully he was ok for the most part. I can’t emphasize how much
better this was than last year’s opener with just six men involved.
It gives the match a chance to breathe and you can keep track of
what’s going on. This was a good opener but the Daniels fall made it
hard to sit through at the end.
15.
Lockdown 2013.
TNA
World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Bully Ray
In
the cage of course with Hardy defending. Tenay says Ray has a 50+
pound weigh advantage about a minute after Ray is announced at 275 to
Hardy’s 227. Feeling out process to start with Ray running Hardy
over with a hard shoulder. A quick slam gets two for Ray and the
champion bails to the corner. Hardy fights back with the Whisper in
the Wind for two but can’t escape as Ray rams Hardy’s leg into the
cage.
Ray
starts a slow and methodical offense by working over the champion’s
ribs and back. A big backdrop gets two for Ray but Jeff gets in a
shot to earn himself a breather. The Twist and the Bubba Bomb are
both countered but the second attempt at the Twist of Fate connects.
Cue Wes Brisco and Garrett Bischoff into the cage but Jeff and Bully
run them over. Bully lets himself be a springboard for Poetry in
Motion before throwing both bikers out.
They
slug it out in the middle of the ring with Jeff actually taking over.
A flying forearm takes Bully down and there’s a low dropkick for
two. Hardy tries to climb out but Ray makes the save and they slug
it out on the top rope. Hardy kicks Ray in the head but falls to the
mat, allowing Ray to fall off the top onto Jeff for a VERY close two.
The Twist staggers Bully but as Jeff goes up, Ray hits a HUGE sitout
powerbomb out of the corner to put both guys down.
Ray
covers for two and the fans are split. Cue the Hogans to watch the
main event from ringside to cheer on Bully. Ray gets to his feet
very slowly but here are Aces and 8’s. Ray stands up and has a chain
as the bikers come in. To the shock of not many people, Ray is
thrown a hammer by D-Von and clubs down Jeff to win the title,
revealing himself as the leader at 17:20.
Rating:
B-. That powerbomb alone was worth the whole match. The ending
isn’t really all that surprising but at least Aces and 8’s have
FINALLY done something of note. Bully Ray as world champion of a
major company in 2013 is a huge gamble to say the least, but it
appears that we’re heading to Hogan vs. Ray down the line. To call
that a gamble is an even shorter stretch but it’s what we appear to
be getting.
We
hear a quick recap from Bully Ray about how the Aces and 8’s plan
came together. This really helped tie things together after it
didn’t make a lot of sense for months on end.
In
some storyline development, we see Shera being tortured in the woods,
likely as his way of joining the Revolution.
14.
Bound For Glory 2007.
Knockouts
Title: Gauntlet Match
This
is to crown the inaugural champion. As usual, it’s over the top with
one minute intervals for the ten entrants until we get to the final
two when it becomes one fall to a finish. Miss Brooks is in at #1
and Jackie Moore is in at #2. Jackie runs Brooks over and knocks her
face first onto the mat until Shelley Martinez is in at #3. Brooks
goes after Shelley and gets dropped with a reverse DDT for her
efforts. Jackie goes after Shelley, allowing Brooks to hit a top
rope seated senton on Martinez.
Awesome
Kong is in at #4 but takes 55 seconds to get to the ring and can’t do
anything. Jackie throws out Brooks and Kong dumps Martines. ODB is
in at #5 and also takes her time getting in, allowing Kong to plant
Jackie and dump her out. We’re down to ODB vs. Kong and of course
ODB starts swinging. Angel Williams is in at #6 as Kong is hammering
away on ODB. The girls wisely double team Kong but are quickly
suplexed down.
Christy
Hemme (looking GREAT) is in at #7 and immediately gets put in a
torture rack. Kong slams her down until Gail Kim comes in at #8 with
a missile dropkick. Hemme is taken out by medics as the other three
gang up on Kong. They finally dump Kong out (and break her top at
the same time) as Talia Madison is in at #9. ODB and Gail Kim double
team Williams out Roxxi Leveaux is in at #10 so we have a final
grouping of Gail, Roxxi, ODB and Talia. Gail throws out Talia and
Roxxi dumps ODB to get us to the one on one match.
Roxxi
nails her with a forearm to the chest and plants her with a fall away
slam for two. The fans are almost entirely behind Gail, as they’ve
been since the beginning. An Octopus Hold has Roxxi in trouble but
she falls into the ropes. Gail misses a missile dropkick and they
trade rollups for two each. Back up and Kim grabs White Noise for
the pin and the first title.
Rating:
C-. These matches are hard to get into and it would have helped
quite a bit if we hadn’t had a battle royal about an hour ago. Kim
is a good choice for the first champion and has a built in challenger
in Kong, who had some great matches with Gail in the coming months.
I do like that she won the title with a pin instead of dumping
someone out though. It feels more proper.
13.
Impact – March 3, 2011.
Time
for the wedding. Eric Young is the ring bearer and Orlando Jordan is
the flower girl. Jeff comes out thankfully not to his theme music.
Tazz keeps calling Karen by the name Karen Angle. And of course
here’s Kurt and the brawl is on. Jeff almost goes into the
definitely not ten foot cake. Kurt hits a clothesline and here’s
Karen. She slaps Kurt and goes into the cake. Angle’s music plays
it out. This whole thing might have lasted two and a half minutes.
From
later in the night.
Time
for
wedding
#2. Young
it
still
wedding
bearer
and
Jordan
is
still
flower
girl.
Jeff
doesn’t
have
a
coat
on
this
time.
Kurt
walks
Karen
down
the
aisle.
He’s
smiling
and
Karen
seems
to
still
have
cake
on
her
face.
Kurt
is
all
happy
here
and
it’s
rather
amusing.
No
Bart
Scott
in
sight.
The
fans
boo
at
the
or
forever
hold
your
piece
line.
They
both
say
I
will
and
all
that
jazz.
The
minister
asks
the
fans
if
they’ll
support
the
Jarretts.
Take
a
guess
how
that
goes
over.
Now
we
get
to
hear
CUSTOM
vows.
We’ve
had
a
combined
12 minutes
of
wrestling
and
we’re
getting
custom
vows.
Wow
indeed.
Jeff
says
he’s
long
winded
and
would
be
nervous
so
he
wrote
his
out.
He
runs
down
Kurt
the
whole
time
and
Kurt
just
keeps
smiling
away.
He’s
looking
over
Jeff’s
shoulder
and
it’s
rather
creepy.
Karen
is
the
wind
beneath
his
wings.

Karen
says Jeff is a real man and the princess is taken care of. Oh and
Kurt didn’t screw her enough apparently. Jeff completes her. The
minister announces them as husband and wife through the power vested
in him by the department of motor vehicles. The unintentional comedy
is helping here. They actually get through the kissing of the bride,
so Kurt busts out an ax and starts hacking the set to pieces, all
with that creepy grin on his face. That was kind of awesome.
Bischoff
sends out New York Jets linebacker Bart Scott. Yes send your
celebrity out to the CRAZY MAN WITH AN AXE! Surprisingly enough they
go at it and Kurt grabs the ankle lock and cranks on it. Didn’t
expect that. Segment went WAY too long but the ending helped it a
lot.
12.
Impact – October 29, 2014.
TNA
World Title: Lashley vs. Bobby Roode
They
have a ton of time for this, Lashley is defending and Kurt Angle is
guest referee. MVP and King are nowhere in sight. Lashley powers
Bobby into the corner to start and easily takes him down with an
amateur move. A hard shoulder to the ribs has Roode in even more
trouble but Bobby comes back with a clothesline and tells Lashley to
bring it on. The champ is all fired up but his clothesline is
countered into the Crossface, sending Lashley out to the floor.
We
take a break and come back with Lashley holding a reverse wasitlock
until Bobby fights up with forearms. A quick Blockbuster gets two
but Roode charges into a spinning spinebuster. Lashley ducks another
shot but clotheslines Angle (first time he’s meant anything in the
match) by mistake. The Roode Bomb is countered and Lashley nails the
spear with no one to count the pin. Another spear hits Angle to
knock him to the floor, allowing Roode to enziguri Lashley to the
floor.
Bobby
follows and avoids a spear, sending a ring attendant flying. A Roode
Bomb on the ramp puts both guys down but there’s still no Angle to
count anything. Instead Brian Hebner comes in to count the near fall
and Bobby is frustrated. Lashley hits Roode low and gets the belt
but Hebner says no.
That
earns him a knockout clothesline, allowing Lashley to hit Roode with
the belt. Angle comes in to count two and is finally back to his
feet. The Roode Bomb is countered and Lashley snaps Bobby’s throat
across the top rope. Another attempt is countered into a sunset flip
attempt but Roode falls on top for the pin and the title at 17:49.
Rating:
B. The match got going
near the middle but I really don’t see why Angle needed to be out
there. Any regular referee could have played his role to the same
degree but maybe they’re setting up Lashley vs. Angle down the line?
The important part though is Roode being made into a bigger deal than
he was before, but now he needs to have a very solid title reign to
make it even better. TNA is really needing a top face and if Roode
is that guy then so be it.
11.
Bound For Glory 2011.
Hulk
Hogan vs. Sting
Bischoff’s
son is referee. Sting is insane here and wears a Hulkamania shirt to
the ring. Hulk is in street clothes. The bell rings and here comes
Flair as we keep looking at Dixie Carter in the front row. Sting
grabs a headlock to start but Hogan shoves him away and Hulks Up.
That gets Hogan a crotch chop so Hulk punches him down and puts on a
chinlock. Sting gets sent outside but is quickly back inside to have
his back and eyes raked.
Hogan
throws him outside for low blows and chops from Flair before Hulk
starts biting at Sting’s forehead. The beating goes on for awhile
until they head back inside where Flair slips Hogan a foreign object.
The shots bust Sting open but Sting comes back with right hands. He
stops the beating and goes after Flair, stealing the foreign object
to cut Hogan open as well. A pair of Stinger Splashes set up the
Scorpion Deathlock and Hogan gives up, forcing referee Jackson James
to call for the bell.
Rating:
D+.
This one would fall under the category of “what else were you
expecting?” At the end of the day, TNA basically exists to make
Sting look good so this really shouldn’t be a surprise. Someone
young probably should have gotten the rub from Hogan, but Sting
clearly needed this spot instead right?
Immortal
comes out to destroy Sting with chairs as Abyss is shown watching
from behind the curtain. Jackson James takes one of them away,
turning face about an hour and fifteen minutes after he turned heel.
Bischoff hits him with a chair, starting the most unwanted face push
in the history of ever.
Sting
crawls over to Hogan and begs for help, because if there’s one thing
more important than making Sting look good, it’s making Hogan look
good. Hogan makes the big face turn and helps Sting clean house,
because two bloody guys in their 50s beating up about seven guys
armed with chairs makes perfect sense. Posing ensues and of course
the old WWF crowd eats it up. It’s a cool segment for the moment,
but this was basically all about Hogan and Sting instead of doing
anything for TNA long term.
Overall
Rating:
B. The show was
entertaining due to having some excellent wrestling, but let’s recap
that ending real fast: the big moment that you end the show on is two
guys in their 50s who currently work for WWE. They
couldn’t have swapped this with #12 so that the last thing we see is
the reigning World Champion standing tall after vanquishing an
unstoppable beast? It was really necessary that we had to show Sting
and Hogan at the end of the show?
The
show as a whole was good enough, but I would have liked to see some
stuff from the old days. There had to be some great stuff in there,
but maybe they’re saving those for next week. I really hope this
doesn’t turn into the best since the Hogan Era began, because there
are some gems from back in the day that have just been forgotten over
the years.
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