It’s always hard to say goodbye, and tonight is no exception. Please stay tuned for a photographic ode to WCW Prime at the end of this recap.
Yes, that’s right. This is it. The end. The finale. We’ve been together for so long. But all amazing things must come to an end, and our never ending line of colorful jobbers, and the smiling face of Johnny B Badd months after his departure will never grace our screens again. It feels almost blasphemous that he was replaced with Lex Luger last week.
CHRIS CRUISE returns for his last hurrah. DUSTY RHODES may have one more moo left in his belly welly.
HUGH MORRUS (with Jimmy Hart and Maxx) vs. LEROY HOWARD
NICK PATRICK referees this one – but if you’re worried about shenanigans, it’s important to note that he is without an evil goatee and his neckbrace, so it’s likely this was taped at some point in mid ’93. I have no idea what WCW is going to do with its years of unaired syndication without this program, but if WCW Pro expands into a second hour, I wouldn’t argue with it. Leroy’s been on the receiving end of more than one Hugh Morrus assault in the past, but we’re going to the well one more time for old time’s sake. It’s a party here on the Prime, with all our old favorites! Morrus wins with No Laughing Matter into the splits for a pin at 2:40. 1/2*
JIM POWERS and THE RENEGADE (with Teddy Long) vs. HARLEM HEAT (with Colonel Robert Parker and Sista Sherri) (in a non-title match)
Dusty starts openly eating on the air, because he couldn’t give less of a crap about this show, or Chris Cruise. He’s usually incomprehensible either way, so it doesn’t change much. I wonder what it is that prompts the bookers of this company to put Harlem Heat on every single show. Did they conduct some sort of marketing study that found viewers were really into seeing Harlem Heat 5 times a week? Do Harlem Heat help with varying demographics? Are they just really fun to wrestle, and all the boys are lined up for matches with them? I’m trying to find a reasonable explanation for the 100+ matches I’ve recapped this year featuring them, without them breaking the *** barrier even one time. Booker hits the Harlem sidekick on Jim Powers, and Stevie locks on his move, the chinlock. Booker starts yelling about the sucka Powers, which really offends Cruise for some reason, and he sets out on a personal mission to defend the fact that he is not, in fact, a sucka. Renegade gets the hot tag in here, but Booker drops a leg across the back of his head quickly to stop any momentum. A double team powerbomb scores the easy pin for the Heat at 5:21. *
M. WALLSTREET vs. JOHNNY BOONE
Cruise asks what the M stands for, which is a GREAT question since he up and changed his name. Dusty goes with “mon-ay!” which is probably not a bad guess since this is WCW. Boone almost scores an upset with a schoolboy for 2. Wallstreet lives to bore, and works a chinlock. For god knows what reason, Dusty starts talking about dikes (and not dykes, which would have served as a quality reason why the show was cancelled), as Wallstreet scores the pin with the Stock Market Crash at 2:59. DUD
DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE vs. DISCO INFERNO
I was about to question what this was doing on the PRIME, but I have to sadly admit that Disco has been little more than a comedy jobber for nearly 8 months now. Page attacks before the bell, stomping Disco like he’s applying for the lead role in American History X. Disco blocks a kick, but takes a discus punch. He goes for a pancake slam, but Disco winds up sunset flipping him instead for 2. Page clotheslines him for daring to show a little offense. After a little more choking, cuz he’s kinky like that, Page drops an elbow right on the penis! He claims it was in the gut, but the camera showed otherwise. Disco finally decides cheating’s his only hope, with a poke to the eye and whips out the Flip Flop n Fly to Dusty’s delight. Swinging neckbreaker nearly gets the win, but Page gets a foot on the rope. Disco celebrates like he won, and starts celebrating … right into a Diamond Cutter at 4:21. *1/2
THE ROCK & ROLL EXPRESS vs. CHRIS BENOIT and ARN ANDERSON (in the Prime Cuts Moo Match of the Week)
These guys must be involved in some sort of polygamous relationship, because I can’t remember the last time the RnR fought anyone else. The fans, under strict military orders, give some love to the RnR. Morton snaps off a rana against Benoit, but that just makes Chris mad, and you DON’T want to make him mad. Morton recognizes, and gets out of Dodge. Gibson hits an enzuigiri, which translated into Dusty is called the “LouGehrig”. On the floor, Arn tries to take off Gibson’s head, but he punches the ring post. Gibson gives it a second shove, just for the hell of it. Back in, Morton dives in off the top, and Gibson drops a knee across the arm. Arn finals has enough of this crap and delivers a little snake eyes, before turning Benoit loose. Ricky is beaten in the corner, and given a back elbow right to the mush. A quick toss sends Morton into the waiting hands of Arn Anderson, who introduces him to the ring post. Arn then takes to distracting the referee for Benoit to slam him face first to the ring steps. Morton tries a sunset flip on his way back in, and after a long struggle and several Arn Anderson punches, it hits and gets 2. Anderson puts Morton in a front facelock to prevent a pin, but Morton fights, so Arn releases and punches Gibson in the face to knock him off the apron. Benoit enters with a quick backdrop suplex, but Morton still has a little life in him which is unusual against Chris. They trade blows, which Benoit wins, and we check back in with Arn. He tries an axehandle blow, but Morton blocks with a kick to the face, allowing Morton to tag in a red hot Gibson. Horsemen are laid out all over the ring! A double dropkick connects, but Morton won’t leave the ring fast enough while Gibson covers, and Benoit flies in with the swandive, Anderson is rolled on top, and the Horsemen win once again at 8:50. Good main event to close out the show’s history. **1/2
And it ends with a final plug for Halloween Havoc.
But I don’t want it to end on this note, oh no. Let’s take one last look back at the 1996 run of WCW Prime, in pictures.
RIP WCW Prime.