Monday Nitro – May 31, 1999

Monday Nitro #190
Date: May 31, 1999
Location: Astrodome,
Houston, Texas
Commentators: Bobby
Heenan, Tony Schiavone
Reviewed by Tommy Hall
We’re two weeks away
from the Great American Bash and the main event is still dominating
the card. Thankfully we’re getting some development on the rest of
the card and hopefully the rise of Benoit and Malenko up the card as
the new young stars of the company. Well Malenko is pushing 40 at
this point so he can only be so young but you get the idea. Let’s
get to it.

We open with Raven
arriving at the arena but getting attacked by Bigelow and Page in the
parking lot. They throw him into a dumpster and slam the lid on his
Recap of last week with
Piper beating up Flair and the Horsemen turning on their leader.
We see Tank Abbott
getting into it with Rick Steiner on Thunder.
The announcers do their
DJ Ran.
Here’s Eddie Guerrero
for the first time this year after a horrible car wreck. The
announcers welcome him back and show us some photos of Eddie’s
totaled car. Eddie lists off his injuries and hopes to be back soon.
He’ll be doing some commentary to start things off.
Hak vs. Kidman
has to lose the weapons to start and Kidman actually tries to make it
a wrestling match. I can’t imagine it staying that way but it’s nice
to pretend for a bit. They stay on the mat for a bit with Kidman
holding a headscissors…and now let’s hear from Tank Abbott and his
goons about how being in a cage is hardcore. He has history being in
a cage you see, and he’s going to referee the TV Title match tonight.

We cut back to the
match with Kidman taking over again with a dropkick. Chastity gets
on the apron with a chair, allowing Hak to send Kidman face first
into the steel. It’s weapons time now as I guess this was a hardcore
match the whole time. Kidman is whipped into the ladder but avoids a
Swanton through the table. He loads up the Shooting Star but here’s
Hugh Morrus to shove him off, somehow drawing a no contest in a
hardcore match.
There was some decent wrestling to start but then we went to the
hardcore stuff and a Tank Abbott promo because we can’t do that at
some other point. I don’t know why they insist on wasting Kidman on
something like this when he’s capable of having good matches with any
talented guy you throw at him.
Brian Knobs comes out
to beat up Hak.
Flair is in his office
and orders eight women to his room tonight. JJ Dillon says Savage’s
elbow is officially banned. So what else can he actually do?
Clip of Steiner and
Abbott on Thunder.
Eddie thanks the fans
and Bischoff for believing in him.
are Bigelow and Page with something to say. Page rips on the fans
and says he knew it was wrong to put Hogan out with a knee injury.
He tried to apologize but last week Hogan knocked him out with a
crutch as he was leaving. Bigelow and Page threaten to put Hogan on
the permanent injured list before turning their attention to Raven
and Saturn. They took the trash out earlier and now don’t want to
wait for the Great American Bash for their title shot.
Kanyon is going to take
Raven’s place in the Tag Team Title match tonight.
DJ Ran doesn’t like
Curt Hennig not liking hip hop. Oh geez they’re going to have him
advance stories now?
Hennig comes out to the commentary desk and insists that rap is crap.
Hennig likes country music better and is going to go sing a country
song at DJ Ran’s booth. Bobby Duncum Jr. comes out to sing with Curt
and they belt out Blame It On Texas. It’s not really singing as much
as it is rhythmic talking but they’re trying. Konnan and Mysterio
come out in their Astros jerseys for the save. A tag match is made
for later.
We look at Hennig and
Konnan brawling last week. Wouldn’t this fit better before the
previous segment?
Van Hammer vs. Evan
gets hammered on to start and is quickly put in a Tree of Woe. He
avoids a charge though and grabs a headlock, only to be shoved away
and shouldered down. A headscissors takes Hammer over but he
counters another attempt with a hot shot. Hammer plants him with a
backbreaker and Vader clothesline for two before putting on an
abdominal stretch. Evan actually hiptosses the big guy over, only to
get caught in a delayed vertical suplex. Hammer gets taken down
again and a high cross body gets two, but he grabs the cobra clutch
slam for a quick pin.
Hammer really needs something besides the cobra clutch slam. That’s
a move that almost anyone could do and while it’s decent for a power
guy, he needs to do something that looks a lot more devastating. Or
we could just not have Hammer on TV and see how well that works for
Piper to say God bless America and talk about the Horsemen breaking
up last week. He calls Flair a gelding and asks Malenko to come out
here for a chat. Piper praises Dean as the best cruiserweight of all
time but Dean doesn’t say anything. He takes the mic and says that
Flair walked out on the Horsemen and last week was just them
brings out Flair and Anderson but Dean cuts them off and says the
Horsemen weren’t supposed to be about feeding Flair’s ego. WCW needs
to be about passing the torch and letting the younger guys get their
chance on top. Flair says he hasn’t met anyone worth passing the
torch to yet. Dean goes to Arn and says last week he promised to
have Arn’s back anywhere, but that was last week. Piper and Flair
get in a fight and Flair runs away. Natrually that’s the focus
instead of Anderson and Malenko because it’s Flair and Piper.
Nitro Girls.
Eric Bischoff joins
commentary for no apparent reason.
Mysterio Jr. vs. Curt Hennig/Bobby Duncum Jr.
much for Rey defending against Kidman, at least for now it seems.
Konnan and Rey wear what appear to be prison uniforms. The cowboys
try to sing a little bit but get dropkicked in the back to start
fast. Mysterio dropkicks Curt’s leg and shouts WEST SIDE on the
middle rope. Hennig and Duncum are knocked out to the floor for a
breather as Bischoff praises Rey. Back in and Hennig nails Mysterio
in the ribs with a right hand before it’s off to Duncum for a
shoulder breaker.
Back to Hennig who
whips Rey across for the Bret Hart chest first bump to the buckle.
The cowboys keep up the fast tagging with Bobby throwing Mysterio
around like a rag doll. Mysterio nails a quick dropkick to Hennig
and slides between Curt’s legs for the hot tag to Konnan and a
genuine eruption from the crowd. There’s the Tequila Sunrise on
Hennig but Duncum breaks it up with the cowbell for the DQ.
It’s another culture clash feud but at least most of the guys in it
are worth watching. Duncum had potential to be good but the cowboy
thing was only going to take him so far at this point. It’s not a
bad match but I groaned at the cowbell ending. WCW was so obsessed
with getting rid of the southern identity but they have that around?
Konnan gets hogtied
post match.
Savage on his own with something to say. He talks about Nash being
on his way to the arena when Madusa comes out to say Nash is here.
Savage calls Nash out for later in another segment that didn’t need
to be in the arena.
Page and Bigelow are in
the back, standing over an unconscious Kanyon.
David Flair vs. Erik
sweet mother of goodness they can’t be serious. Bischoff just buries
both guys, saying Erik got his push because of his dad and that David
absolutely sucks. Well he had to be right at some point. He even
says that his son would have a winning record if he was in charge.
There were warning signs of Garrett Bischoff coming and no one
stopped him??? Erik hammers away to start and clotheslines Flair out
to the floor. He rams David into the buckle a few times and yells at
Papa Flair.
David manages to avoid
a dropkick and tries the Figure Four, only to get kicked out to the
floor. A suplex brings him back in for two and Watts starts picking
him up every time. David is tortured with a Rock Bottom, pumphandle
slam and chinlock slam. He loads up another Rock Bottom but Anderson
sneaks in for a spinebuster to give David the pin.
I can’t rate this because I can’t help but laugh. This is the kind
of match that you see on lists of the worst possible matches you
could imagine. Like, you say this as a joke instead of something
that could actually happen. That’s what we’re dealing with here
because WCW actually did it. Raw could be airing a midget Brawl For
All against this and it might not be as stupid an idea.
Video on Nash vs.
Buff tells Flair he
wants Savage again tonight but is given a suitable replacement: Bobby
Eaton. Buff: “Does he even work here anymore?” Either way,
Bagwell promises to hurt him tonight.
Ernest Miller comes out
to call out Norton for a fight. Well at least that’s what I think
he’s saying as Bischoff keeps talking about how the company in New
York is beating them right now and he’s partially to blame. Anyway
here’s Norton and we get a bell.
The Cat vs. Scott
immediately nails Cat with a headbutt and knocks him for a loop. He
hammers away in the corner as we see the Black and White laughing in
the locker room. With Cat down in the corner, Sonny slips him a
crowbar to knock Norton silly for the surprise pin.
The Black and White
runs out of the locker room.
are Savage and the girls again because we haven’t seen enough of
them. Well ok that’s true in George’s case. Nothing is said before
Nash’s music comes on and here’s…..a tall guy in drag wearing a
replica belt. Savage says this is a match so we get a bell, allowing
Savage and the girls to get in shots, such as a top rope hurricanrana
from Miss Madness and a middle rope elbow from George. Savage drops
the banned top rope elbow for a pin before celebrating with the belt.
Again, is there a point to this or are we supposed to draw our own
conclusions? For some reason Bischoff thinks Miss Madness is a man.
Nitro Girls.
Recap of Bagwell
beating Savage by DQ on Thunder. That would be the second time
Bagwell beat Savage by DQ on Thunder.
Buff Bagwell vs.
Bobby Eaton
some reason Bischoff goes on a rant about how worthless Jesse Ventura
was on commentary. Eaton hammers away to start and goes after
Bagwell’s face, only to get monkey flipped and dropkicked to slow him
down. Two boots in the corner stop a charging Eaton and a
clothesline drops him for two. Buff misses a charge and falls to the
floor before taking a swinging neckbreaker in the ring. Bischoff
keeps up his tirade by ripping on Bagwell for no apparent reason
before switching over to Konnan. Buff comes back with a suplex and
hiptoss followed by the Blockbuster for the pin.
We look at Raven
getting taken out earlier.
Tag Team Titles:
Saturn vs. Bam Bam Bigelow/Diamond Dallas Page
calls Page one of the biggest mistake he’s made in WCW. Saturn grabs
a mic and says he’ll keep the titles by himself tonight. Page calls
Saturn stupider than he looks. Bigelow gets things going for the
only team in the match and shoves Saturn down with ease. A shoulder
block does the same as Bischoff hypes up Tank being in the cage
tonight. Saturn comes back with a springboard cross body to Bigelow
and a belly to belly to Page. Some clotheslines put the challengers
on the floor and we take a break.
with Bigelow getting in a knee from the apron, allowing Page to
clothesline Saturn down to take over. It’s back to Bigelow for a
falling headbutt and a two count before the discus lariat gets two
for Page. A Batista Bomb gets two more and things slow down a bit.
Page comes back in with a top rope clothesline for another two and we
hit the chinlock.
Bam Bam comes in off
the top but misses the swan dive. Saturn superkicks both guys down
and sends the challengers into each other. The Death Valley Driver
gets two on Page and there’s one for Bigelow as well. Cue Kanyon to
stand in the wrong corner and get the hot tag, but Page hits him once
for the pin and the titles.
Well it’s clear that something is coming with the booking but again
with the young and talented teams losing the belts so fast. Did they
really have to change the titles in just a few weeks? They couldn’t
have waited for the pay per view? Page and Bigelow aren’t even an
interesting team as they’re just two guys from Jersey. You wouldn’t
see Norton and Hennig as a team because they’re both from Minnesota
would you? At least the match was decent though.
Savage and the girls
are trying to leave in the limo but it’s blocked by a septic truck.
You can see it coming from here. Nash is driving, gets out, puts a
hose in the sunroof and the villains gets sprayed. Nash says
something about this portion of Nitro has been brought to you by
Septic Services, for all your savage septic needs. Ok funny line.
DJ Ran.
The cage is lowered.
TV Title: Rick
Steiner vs. Sting
a cage with a roof, Steiner defending and Tank Abbott as the guest
referee. Sting sends Rick head first into the cage to start and
stomps away with Steiner not all that interested in selling tonight.
The champ comes back with a low blow and hard right hands followed by
an elbow drop. A dropkick sends Rick through the ropes and Sting
rakes his face on the cage before hitting a Stinger Splash, driving
Steiner against the steel.
comes right back with a suplex and a ram into the cage of his own.
We hit the chinlock as Tank just kind of walks around and doesn’t do
anything of note. Sting fights up again and nails another dropkick
as there isn’t a lot of energy for this match. Some clotheslines
look to set up a splash but Rick raises his knees.
Sting slips off
Steiner’s shoulders but can’t get a backslide. Instead he tries a
very modified Gory Stretch, only to have Rick get to the cage to
escape. Sting sends him into the corner for the Splash but Abbott
pulls Steiner out of the way. Rick tapes Sting to the ropes as Tank
leaves, meaning in two weeks, they’ve now ended a cage match and a
battle royal in no contests.
Holy sweet Christmas they’ve managed to screw up a cage match. For
one thing, it’s WAY too early in this feud for a big gimmick match.
On top of that, the match lasted less than eight minutes and was
there to push Tank Abbott than for the match itself. The fact that
it’s Rick Steiner refusing to sell ANYTHING makes sitting through
this even worse. Horrible match here and even worse storytelling and
decision making.
Abbott and his goons
walk out to end the show.
So let me get this straight: we had two and a half hours of
Bischoff’s out there commentary, Tank Abbott screwing over Sting for
a no contest in a cage match, a no contest in a hardcore match, Curt
Hennig singing, more Flair vs. Piper and one of the worst possible
matches in the history of wrestling. I know I’ve said this before,
but it can’t possibly get any worse than this.
to be fair there’s some decent stuff in here, such as the Tag Team
Title match and most of the Horsemen segment, but the bad just
cripples anything the good can do for the show. The big story needs
to actually go somewhere and that doesn’t seem to be happening
anytime soon. It’s far more old vs. old with talk of the old vs. new
not going anywhere. There’s still time, but we need to get there and
actually fire up the company a bit.
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