Saturday Night’s Main Event Countdown: #27

Saturday Night’s Main Event (July 28 / 90) (Found this one in the archives as well, although it was just a text file so the formatting is wacky.) – Taped from Omaha, Nebraska. – Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Jesse Ventura – This one has a “Wild Kingdom” theme.  (Because of Mutual of Omaha, which is exactly the kind of decade-delayed pop culture reference Vince would get.)  – Opening match, WWF title:  The Ultimate Warrior v. Ravishing Rick
  Warrior destroys Rude (who has the new crewcut look at this
point in an effort to give him credibility) by tossing him from end to
end and atomic dropping him out of the ring.  Back in and Warrior with a
couple of clotheslines and an axehandle off the top, but Rude moves out
of the way of the splash.  As per the Saturday Night’s Main Event
formula, Rude gets Warrior to chase him out of the ring and nails him
with the designated foreign object (in this case, the WWF title belt)
and takes control until the commercial break.  But first Rude takes his
contractually obligated reverse atomic drop.  But alas for Warrior, Rude
gets a sleeper hold after slipping out of a bodyslam.  In an insanely
ridiculous bit, Joey Marella tests the Warrior’s consciousness by
lifting his leg (instead of his arm).  Warrior fights out, but Rude hits
the Rude Awakening.  It gets two and Warrior makes the wildman comeback
with the usual, but Heenan puts Rude’s foot on the ropes at two.  They
fight outside the ring and Rude gets counted out.  Warrior brutalizes
Bobby Heenan for fun.  Not a good match.  1/2*  (No way This was leading to a
cage match at Summerslam 90.  I thought it would have sold better to
have Rude win the title here and Warrior regain it at Summerslam, but
then I’m not the booker.  (Oh man, if you thought Warrior couldn’t draw before, dropping the title to Rick Rude would have KILLED him.)  Some say I should be… – And wasn’t the world just waiting for a career retrospective on Hulk
Hogan, who suffered that awful career-ending injury against Earthquake.
*Sniff*.  Get well, Hulk!  Just to piss me off way back when, my dad
made a giant banner saying “Get Well Hulk” and hung it in my room, for
which I’ve never quite forgiven him.  Of course, this is the same guy
who used to fashion nooses and randomly hang my LJN wrestling figures
around the house, so you can see how my upbringing may have warped my
life….  (“May have…”?) – The Immortal Orange Goblin comes out for a quasi-inspirational
interview to hype his grudge match against Earthquake at Summerslam.  I
fast forward.  Earthquake and Dino Bravo run in to attack, but Tugboat
makes the save.  Wow, this is sure exciting. – WWF tag title match:  Demolition v. The Rockers.  This is the sort-of debut of Crush, who was known as “B.A.” at house shows before this.
Let’s see, we have a wannabe golf pro (Barry Darsow), an nWo Japan scrub (Bryan Adams), a retiree (Bill Eadie), a jobber (Marty Jannetty) and a three-time WWF World champion (Shawn Michaels).  8 years ago, could *you* have guessed which would be which?  Smash and Crush are doing the honors tonight.  The Rockers start with some SWEET double-team flying
headscissors and housecleaning.  Shawn hits a sort-of rana (with help
from Marty) but Crush decks him from behind to give the champs the
advantage.  Crush is really, really bad at this point.  He fucks up a
sunset flip with Jannetty and can’t sell properly.  (But he did demonstrate the three qualifications for a push in the 90s and beyond: Tall, muscular, full head of hair.) The Rockers control with double-teams on the arm of Crush but inevitably the Demos cheat and
gain the advantage.  Jannetty is dead on the outside as we head to
commercial.  We return with Smash going medieval on Marty, who takes a
couple of really choice bumps.  Crush debuts the tilt-a-whirl
backbreaker and hits a pretty good chokeslam.  Marty hits a desperation
move on Crush after some more punishment and hot tags Shawn, who is his
usual awesome self.  Superkick and double dropkicks get rid of Crush,
and they hit the double superkick and the double flying fist on Smash
for two, but Crush makes the save.  Shawn rolls up Smash and Ax rolls in
and hits a wicked clothesline on Shawn and makes the illegal pin
himself.  Good little match with a hot ending.  ***  (Pretty sure it was better than that.)  The Hart Foundation and the LOD run in to plead the Rockers’ case, but no luck. – Intercontinental title match:  Curt Hennig v. Tito Santana.  Hennig dumped the Genius at the end of May and won the Intercontinental title
tournament with the help of new manager Bobby Heenan, defeating Santana
in the finals.  This is the rematch.  From here until Summerslam 91,
Hennig was God.  (Not HHH level God, of course.)  Santana blitzes Hennig to start, sending Hennig over the top (of course) and chasing him around the ring.  Tito puts his head
down and gets decked very quickly.  Off-night for Hennig as he kicks and
rests his way through the offensive portion.  Tito hairpulls his way out
of a chinlock and begins El Comeback Superman-o.  Hennig does a triple
somersault off a punch and takes out Earl Hebner, and of course Santana
goes for the figure-four then.  Crowd is going nuts.  And you know the
great part?  When Tito releases the hold, Hennig sells the STRAIGHT LEG!
Awesome.  Flying jalapeno as Hebner crawls over…for…two.  Santana
with a clothesline off the top for…another…two…count.  That’s some
twisted ankle Hebner’s got there.  Santana calls in a new referee as we
go to commercial.  We come back as Hennig also comes back.  Chops
(whoo).  Now Hennig goes through the Patented Offense ™ and gets
towelled off by Heenan.  Hennig even pulls out a thrust kick.  Santana
returns fire and sends him over the top again with a punch, and of
course Hennig goes crotch-first into the ringpost.  Santana with atomic
drop both ways, and a clothesline for two.  Super hot crowd.  Santana
puts his head down and Hennig hooks the Perfectplex, but Santana inside
cradles him for two, but Hennig reverses that for three.  Whew.  GREAT
MATCH!  **** – I’m skipping the various stupidity with Mean Gene and Lord Alfred
Hayes on safari for obvious reasons. – Playboy Buddy Rose v. Kerry Von Erich.  This is the Tornado’s WWF
debut.  The announcers make fat jokes about Rose to kill time.  Total
squash as Von Erich decimates Rose.  Rose gets the token offense but
gets dumped off the top and tornado punched for the pin.  DUD – Rude comments. – Warrior rebutts. – Vince and Jesse wrap it up. The Bottom Line:  An *awesome* show for a SNME.  Nuff said.  (Indeed, a stone cold classic episode.)