So, that was an interesting RAW.
|It’s so hypnotic.|
TONIGHT: We get to hear the censors bleep out “bitch” — even though they let both women say it without bleeping it with the eight-second delay — and, possibly, “HELL” if they’re feelin’ real frisky.
Ambrose is out to the ring to give a promo. He says he’s back in he’s pissed. He doesn’t kiss babies or anything like that. Let’s cut the crap, he says. He tells Seth Rollins to get out here so he can get his teeth kicked in. But, he knows Rollins won’t show up. Ambrose channels Michael Keaton in BATMAN and says he wants to get nuts.
Seth doesn’t show. Ambrose says he thought that’s what would happen. So, he’ll continue to chase Rollins around and go through the Authority to do it.
Del Rio shows up and tells Ambrose to focus on him, instead. He says that he’s gonna lock in the Cross Arm Breaker on Ambrose, rip his arm off and put it on his shelf as a present. Then he weakly kicks Ambrose in the arm and Ambrose oversells it, falling to the mat like a pile of bricks, because, damn, that shot to his shoulder really hurt his legs.
Del Rio, for some reason, just leaves the ring and stares down Ambrose who isn’t very happy.
LAST NIGHT: Cena was not happy with the idea of being VICTIMIZED by Brock Lesnar.
Apparently, they’re gonna fight at SummerSlam.
The Usos are backstage, ready for action…NEXT!
Promo for Sunday SummerSlam, running each Sunday up until SummerSlam.
Promo for Slam City which still exists, I guess.
RybAxel is out for action against The Usos.
MATCH #1: RybAxel (Ryback & Curtis Axel) vs. WWE Tag Team Champions The Usos (Jimmy & Jey) (non-title)
Xavier Woods and the Nation of Reluctant Supremacy are at ringside. Kofi is especially adorable in his Angry Hoodie of Doom while E’s gone Mr. Hughes without the shades and suspenders. Ryback starts with Jimmy, locking him up and bullying him in the corner. Jimmy hits a chop, dances around and then hits a dropkick off a whip. Jey tags and they hit an elbow on Ryback. Ryback hits a belly to belly suplex and tags in Axel. Axel hits a nice dropkick and stomps at Jey’s chest. Tag to Ryback and the two drop several knees to Jey, pinning him for two. Woods is upset about the lack of title shots that they’ve gotten while Ryback slugs away at Jey and tags in Axel. Axel hits a backbreaker and gets two, tagging in Ryback. Ryback hits a Warrior Splash and a Spinebuster. He goes to the top rope but misses the Macho Elbow. Hot tags on both sides. Jimmy all over Axel with uppercuts and kicks. He hits the Rikishi Splash and tries to get on the buckle but Axel knocks him off. Axel hits a Perfect Plex but Jey runs in and makes the save. Ryback dumps Jey. Jimmy kicks Ryback. Axel rolls up Jimmy for two. Jimmy gets up and hits a Superkick and they get the Superfly Splash at 7:00 to win.
WINNERS: The Usos via Superfly Splash
Post-match, Woods, E, and Kofi look at the Usos who flaunt the belts at them. Kofi and E look envious even though Kofi’s already been a Tag champ, but whatever.
TONIGHT: Clips of Steph and Brie at RAW.
Promo for WWEShop.com.
RAW REBOUND: Brie shows she’s better than Steph by illegally blackmailing her.
TOMORROW ON WWE.COM: Cole will interview Brie Bella.
Heath Slater and Titus O’Neil come out for a tag match.
DANIELLE: I thought Titus didn’t like Heath anymore.
MATT: He doesn’t.
DANIELLE: Why are they together again then?
MATT: I don’t know.
DANIELLE: But Titus can just walk away…
MATT: I know…
DANIELLE: I don’t get–.
MATT: I don’t have anymore answers…wow, they’re taking on Zack Ryder and Damien Sandow dressed like Tyson Kidd?!
MATCH #2: SlaterGator (Heath Slater & Titus O’Neil) vs. Zack Ryder & Tyson Kidd
WINNERS: SlaterGator via Powerslam
RATING: **. Well-wrestled but nothing special.
Post-match, Slater celebrates and hogs the spotlight. Titus and Slater shove one another, fighting over who got the win.
ON RAW: Orton beat the shit out of Reigns.
ON SMACKDOWN: Orton has a “message for Roman Reigns”.
Dean Ambrose is out for the main event.
Promo for Cena/Ambrose at SummerSlam.
MATCH #3: Dean Ambrose vs. Alberto Del Rio
Ambrose is all over Del Rio to start, running him from buckle to buckle, then climbs on Del Rio and punches away. Suplex and one-count. Del Rio kicks Ambrose in the head on a comeback but Ambrose knees Del Rio in the stomach off a Whip. He tosses Del Rio outside and into the crowd barrier before putting Del Rio back in the ring and pounding on Del Rio’s chest. He locks Del Rio in a submission hold and shoulder spears him in the corner after Del Rio gets to his feet. He charges at Del Rio but Del Rio moves and Ambrose’s shoulder hits the post. Del Rio kicks Ambrose in the head from outside the ring and then works on Ambrose’s injured arm. Ambrose gets free but misses a corner charge and ends up tied up on the buckle. Del Rio attacks but Ambrose knocks him off and hits the Missile Dropkick, then starts slugging away at Del Rio, stomping at Del Rio in the corner. Del Rio gets up and tries to toss Ambrose out of the ring but Ambrose lands on his feet outside the ropes. Del Rio sees this and hits an Enzuguri, knocking Ambrose outside. We go to break.
WWE 2K15 Sting Promo.
Total Divas commercial.
Del Rio has Ambrose in a Side Headlock as we come back from break. Ambrose breaks and kicks at Del Rio. Del Rio comes back and clotheslines the hell out of him for two. Del Rio picks up Ambrose and tosses him into the ring post. Del Rio picks up Ambrose and goes for the Superplex and hits it. Two count. Alberto puts Ambrose in another headlock. Ambrose counters with a Side Suplex and Cross Body with punches. Del Rio rolls outside and Ambrose hits a Suicide Dive. Del Rio actually ends up in the front row as a fan tells Del Rio he wants to see his ticket. Back in the ring, Alberto misses a kick and Ambrose rolls him up for two. Del Rio hits a kick and Ambrose misses the Clothesline. Del Rio hits a nice German Suplex for a close fall. Ambrose gets to a corner and Del Rio follows only to get DDT’ed. Del Rio quickly hits an Arm Breaker and the Mini Superkick, getting two. Del Rio goes for the Cross Arm Breaker but Ambrose counters and hits the clothesline off the rope bounce. Suddenly, Seth Rollins shows up and it’s a brawl. Match time was 13:03 for those playing the home game.
WINNER: Dean Ambrose via DQ
RATING: **. This just had no real intensity or heat.
Post-match, Ambrose beats Rollins outside near the announce table, then tosses him back in the ring and clotheslines him out the other end. Del Rio sneaks up on Ambrose but Ambrose hits Dirty Deeds. He invites Rollins back into the ring and the two just glare at one another as we go off the air.
OVERALL: Meh. Was fair, at best. At least it was consistent tonight.
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