The show starts off with GM Bayless in the ring. He tells the crowd that we will get a number one contender tonight to the BoD World Heavyweight Championship as Parallax vs. Jobber123 vs. The Fuj in a three-way match will determine that tonight……but wait!!!! Jef Vinson comes out holding his Money on the Table Briefcase and he has something to say:
“You know something, I have been patiently waiting to cash in my title shot. I have been brutalized, jumped, and attacked by multiple men at the same time. And now, you can name whoever you want as your number one contender but at BoD SummerSlam, I am cashing in my contract.”
The GM seems a bit surprised but plays it cool. He then says that at SummerSlam Jef Vinson will face the Champion. He also tells Vinson that tonight, he gets to face one-half of the BoD Tag Team Champions, John Petuka. He also says that since we are not getting a #1 contender’s match, we will have to settle for a………………………WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So tonight, it will Cultstatus against Parallax1978…………………..against Jobber123…………………………….and against the………………………..FUJ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh my, a Fatal Four Way match for the Title. Where can you see that, folks!!!! I’ll tell you where….The BoD.
Best of Five Series
David Bonzai Saldana Montgomery vs Night81
The Midcard Mafia are now in the ring. They have microphones in their hand and appear to have something to say.
Piers: Last night, at BoD BattleGround, the GM did not include me in the show. The same GM who is afraid of PWInsider.com, the same GM who choked at BoD Wargames, the same GM who failed to take the Money on the Table briefcase despite a stacked deck is afraid to book us on the show. Well tonight, we are not leaving this ring until we are booked on the show and Bayless, we know you keep us away because you are afraid
Ferrari: As someone who is in the Top #12, Bayless, you have shown me no respect. You keep me off of the card. And why is that? So your pathetic janitors, rock holders, and delusional fans can clog the airwaves. You cannot keep us down forever and you will not keep us down ever again as we will not leave until we are booked.
All of a sudden, GM Bayless appears. He does not look happy:
“Piers, Ferrari, you two shitbirds want a match. YOU GOT ONE!!!!!!!!!! (Crowd chants “You’re a Pussy” at Bayless) Oh, shut up. I have had a tag team in front of my office with one of the guys hussing for 83 consecutive minutes until I gave him a match. So tonight, you two will take on the team known as CurtZerker. And Belmont, you will get your match too as tonight you will face…………….HOSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Magoonie now grabs the mic:
“The name is Magoonie you silly son of a bitch and after I defeat the Hoss, I am coming after you.”
Bayless nods his head while smirking. He seems to have some sort of plan up his sleeve.
Andy PG vs. Dock Muraco
The BoD Writer’s Division is expanding, folks. Dock is wearing a replica Ribera Steakhouse Jacket that uh, well, some people care about I think. Dock starts by trying to apply an armbar but that is countered an Andy reaches the ropes. The are now trading chops as Dock comes back with a lariat. He sends Andy in the corner but misses a flying knee strike and Andy takes control. Andy hits a dropkick and a hurricarana. He sets up for a brainbuster but Tommy Hall runs in, wearing batting gloves and a Stacey Augmon Atlanta Hawks throwback, hits Andy with a sock filled with nickles!!!! Tommy beats on Andy then stops and gives Dock Muraco an e-book dollar and tells him to read some Misawa match reviews. Tommy then grabs the mic
“Because of you not signing my petition, I lost my chance at the BoD Writer’s Championship. I have everything: e-book money, an off-brand Smartphone, a Panera Bread rewards card, and 376 throwback jerseys but the only thing I needed to complete my puzzle is the Writer’s Championship. And I promise you this, Andy, I will not stop making your life hell until I get the belt”
Folks, next week, our own Wade Michael Meltzer will head down to New Zealand and track down YJ2310 as he is training in the secretive Garea Dungeon.
GM Bayless is backstage. His Assistant GM, Director of Operations and Paper Goods, Justice Gray, informs him that the Vegas arena has been booked for August 18th. Bayless says that it will happen instead on August 4th as the BoD goes to Vegas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CurtZerker vs. Nick “The Brick” Piers & Steve Ferrari
TheBerzerker starts off by hussing loudly at his opponents. Ferrari looks puzzled as TheBerzerker husses louder and louder as he approaches. Ferrari responds with a chop then TheBerzerker just husses even louder. “HUSS” HUSS” HUSS” HUSS”. Ferrari bounces off of the ropes and takes him down with the clothesline as the hussing as subsided. Tag to Piers and he hits a spin kick to the mouth of TheBerzerker. Piers works the arm but TheBerzerker fights back. He hits a big boot and tags Williams. He whips Piers against the ropes but Piers comes back with a spinning wheel kick. Ferrari tags back into the match and goes to work on Curtis but TheBerzerker hits him from behind then husses in the face of Piers, who is standing on the apron. Ferrari is double-teamed behind the referee’s back and in a lot of trouble. He fights back but Williams stops him. Ferrari gets sent into the corner but dodges a charging Williams as both men are down. Piers rallies his fellow Mafioso as TheBerzerker husses for his partner to tag him into the match. Williams grabs Ferrari’s leg but is met with an enziguiri and he makes the tag to Piers. He is a budget motel room house of fire, folks. He takes TheBerzerker down with a dropkick then knocks Williams to the floor. Ferrari is up and Piers tags him in and they hit TheBerzerker with a double suplex. Piers then flies outside and takes out Williams with a suicide dive as the fans go nuts. Ferrari then kicks TheBerzerker then finishes him off with the Cruise Control (lung blower) for the win!!!!!!!!!!! Could this match elevate these to MCM members in the tag team ranks?
GM Bayless comes out and says that in two weeks at BoD RAW from Vegas, he will introduce…………………THE GIMMICK WHEEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is when a bunch of C-List and unidentified performers win a chance to spin the gimmick wheel, hopefully landing on a gimmick that works. The choices will be revealed next week.
Folks, last night, Archie Stackhouse and CoolTrainerBret had an insane Boiler Room Brawl and have been banned from comepting tonight due to the Florida State Athletic Commission. However, they still had words to say about each other
“(Archie sits in the boiler room. He bleeds from the forehead but doesn’t seem to notice. We see him sitting at a workbench, and hear a faint clanging sound underneath him.)
And now GM Bayless, comes out to the ring.
“You know, in just two weeks, BoD RAW is Live in Vegas!!!!!! And when I think of Vegas I think of whores, drinking, and gambling. But when I gamble in Vegas, I gamble on boxing and in two weeks, on BoD RAW in Vegas, we will have John Petuka vs. Jef Vinson in a Five-Round Boxing match!!!!!!!
Wow, what an announcement.
Magoonie Teddy Belmont comes out to the ring but is attacked backstage by Hoss and the Administration. They drag him down inside as it is a 9 on 1 massacre. Garth takes Molly the Mop and uses it to clean up Magoonie’s face. Gosh Hopkins takes Nebb28’s Pet Rock and uses it to cut up Belmont’s forehead. Hoss leaves and chases the ice cream vendor as Magoonie is getting destroyed in a clear set up by the GM. We have word backstage that Piers & Ferrari have been locked in Holmberg’s Janitor closet as we see a stack of “Club Magazines” and a 1/5 of lower-shelf rum. GM Bayless comes out and gets in Magoonie’s face and screams that he will never, ever waste his time facing him in a match. He has Gary & his fan hold up Magoonie then take him down with a super kick. The GM seems to be going through a lot of stuff to make sure that he does not have to face Magoonie 1 on 1.
BoD World Heayweight Championship Match
Parallax1978 vs. Jobber123 vs. The Fuj vs. Cultstatus (Champion)
After last night’s miscommunication, how will Fuj and Cult interact? It starts off as a brawl between the two teams from last night. A few quick pinfalls are easily broken up the Cult dumps Parallax to the floor. He DDT’s Jobber but Fuj breaks up the pin then stares at Cult. They face off but get jumped from behind before they lockup. Jobber then knees Parallax in the stomach then hits a gutwrench suplex but that only gets two. YOU CANT PUT AWAY A TOP 5’ER WITH THAT!!!!!! Jobber sends Parallax into the corner but eats boot on a charge. Parallax goes for the curb stomp but Jobber ducks and they have a reversal sequence that leads to Parallax hitting a super kick. He covers but Cult pulls him off then tosses him at Fuj, who turns that into a powerslam. Cult breaks up that pin and then finally faces off with Fuj as they trade shots. The fans go nuts as neither man can gain the advantage. Jobber comes in and boots down the Fuj, who then gets hit with a flying knee courtesy of Parallax. Cult gets double-teamed as Fuj is slowly getting up. Jobber pulls out some brass knucks and goes to hit Cult but Fuj saves his partner!! He boots Jobber down but Parallax chop blocks him down. Cult gets up and tosses Parallax to the floor, who drags out the Fuj. Jobber knocks down Cult then goes back to the knux as the ref is preoccupied but Cult dodges the swing and catches Jobber with an elbow smash to the side of the head then takes the knux and connects with Jobber’s head before putting him away with the Jackknife to retain the title. After the match, a battered and blinded Vinson comes out holding his briefcase. He points to the BoD SummerSlam, or tries, as he is blinded and points to Hoss slapping around the guy at the Organic Vegetable Stand instead. Cult looks at Vinson then laughs and points to the belt around his waist as we are out of time.