QOTD #21: Freshening WWE’s Main Event Scene

It’s Friday! Gotta get down on Friday.
Today’s Question:
Are you kickin’ in the front
seat or sittin’ in the back seat? Which seat can I take?
Today’s Question:
Which TNA wrestler would
really freshen up WWE’s main event scene, and why?
We’ll check back in on that one tomorrow – but start the
discussion now. If you want to skip over yesterday’s answers, scroll to the
bottom of this post or click “Comments”. But I recommend that you don’t, this
wound up as one of the most fun threads we’ve done.

Yesterday, I asked you to tell me about your favorite Indy
Gimmick. I’m posting the most creative answers here (or at least the ones I
could imagine in my mind’s eye) because most of us are unfamiliar with the wrestlers
in question. The indy experience is truly like no other, I’ve been to lots of
different shows, and the ones I really love are the ones where there are
literally no known entities on the card, with people just desperate to do
anything to entertain you.
Petrock: Question of the Day.
Here we go.
AtomK13: Caught CHIKARA’s WrestleCon show before WM
XXIX and immediately fell in love with Dasher Hatfield. If you don’t know him,
he’s one of the “Throwbacks,” and his gimmick is that of an old-timey
baseball player. He wears a baseball uniform and a lucha mask that has baseball
seams on the sides and big Pringle’s Man mustachio. He does simple
baseball-themed moves, but can bring it pretty well in the ring, too. He’s just
lots of fun. The whole “Throwbacks” team gimmick is just great,
creative fun that you’ll never see done well in the “big leagues.”
It’s exactly what I want out of my indie wrasslin’.
Rusty Shackleford:
Stone Cold E.T. just for the awesome
theme music.
Wait, what? Oh … my … god.
Elmo Machete: USA Pro Wrestling, the indie fed that was
local to my part of Long Island before they moved to Florida, had a couple of
the most indie-riffic gimmicks I’d ever seen. Most of them were given to the
jobber/trainees – two of my favorites were Wayne the Convenience Store Guy and
the Trekkie, whose characters were exactly what you would expect from guys with
those names. In fact, I think they may have even been the same guy with two
different characters. When I try to picture what they look like now (these
shows were 12, 13 years ago give or take) I can only picture the same doughy
balding white guy. There was this one guy, Ken Sweeney, who didn’t really have
a gimmick aside from the fact that he sucked, looked like a schlub and never
won. He was probably the booker’s brother-in-law or something. But he always
looked like he was trying, and the ring announcer had such an over the top way
of saying his name that one time during some shitty, boring pre-intermission
match some guys in the crowd would just start shouting it the way the ring
announcer did. Well, that eventually caught on to the point where the guy was
getting the biggest pops I’d ever heard & he won the New York title (a
great name for a lower-tier belt in a Long Island indie fed) from the booker’s
masked character. For one glorious summer, Sweeneymania ran wild.
Necro Butcher. The hillbilly messiah.
Out-punch him if you can.
Or at least beat him in a staple gun fight.
White Thunder: Worlds Strongest Man Don Roid
The Osirian Portal of Amasis and Ophidian
for their ability to hypnotise their opponents and make them dance to Rapper’s
Delight. Probably the greatest moment for CZW ever!
The Polish Hammer:
I knew a guy who trained with a local fed
and was ready to make his debut as a Rick Rude knockoff called “Devin
Vanity”. He got me tickets to his show, but ended up breaking his arm two
days prior when he landed wrong trying to do a frogsplash. I met up with him at
the show anyway and had fun, mostly due to the bar in the hall that served
drinks stiffer than a William Regal roundhouse. To this day, my favorite Indy
gimmick is “injured guy who gets you free tickets and free booze”.
Josh Nazario: I loved Dragon Dragon…I guess, I should
say the late Dragon Dragon…
Kyle Warne: RD Evans right now who is on a
Goldberg-esque streak despite maybe 15 legitemate wins and a whole bunch of
matched that are suspect to have ever taken place (he won a 64 man tournament
in south America you know) he’s just awesome.
Up here in the northeast NWA affiliate
(show is NWA: On Fire) the champ was a guy who had taken a bump and believed he
was Terry Funk. He had a guy along with him who dressed like Mick and I think
he had a Dory (HOSS) Funk with him as well. It was hilarious with the spinning
toe holds and all.
WCW1987: YOSHIHIKO is fun. It is a blow up sex doll.
Kota Ibushi carried it to a **** match.
No he didn’t. Wait … (watching video) … Holy s---.
Kbjone: The DDT Ironman Heavymetalweight
Championship. Past title holders include TWO blow-up dolls, TWO stuffed dolls
(one of whom “beat” the other for the title), THREE different
ladders, a pint of beer, a mini-Dachsund, and a monkey. That belt can’t be
worse off than the IC/US titles in WWE, or the TNA TV title at present.
-They borrowed the WM
2000 Hardcore Battle Royal concept, but then went a few steps further.
TWENTY-NINE title changes in 15 minutes, AND one more after the match for the
even thirty on the night. Split between ten wrestlers.
-Multiple title
changes in a HOTEL, including the head chef getting a title reign.
-Shinobi and Yuukoh
Miyamoto combined for 368(!) title changes in 2006, interrupted only by a
female newscaster. The title history has both at 215 reigns, it should be 184
from the math I saw.
-The title has been
given (unlike Andre/DiBiase, the exchange was upheld), auctioned, won by THE
BELT ITSELF (as the 1000th champion, at that), and vacated twice.
Beef Stew Lou Marconi. I can’t believe
this is even up for debate. (Bonus points because I used to refer to red sock
Lou Merloni as beef stew. No one got it and it amused no one but myself but
Mike_N: Los Ice Creams. El Hijo de Ice Cream, Ice
Cream, Jr., and Very Mysterious Ice Cream. I have no idea why they crack me up,
but they do.
ETB757: OVW had a military themed stable called The
Coalition, led by TNA’s Crimson and Jason Wayne. It was hilarious because they
played it very straight, like were actually participating in WW2, only to break
character when things didn’t go their way. Sort of like the King Booker
ooknahbah: There is a tag team locally here (they also
performed for Ring Ka King) called the Bollywood Boys: Nothing to special about
them, except that they just LIVE the gimmick: They come to the ring to Bhangra
music, dancing and partying, and get pumped up to crowd chants of “BUTTER
CHICKEN!” Hilarious old-school wrestling stereotyping.
Aric Johnson: “Macho Warrior” Ric Hogan is
obviously the best gimmick in wrestling, indy or otherwise.
I’m not sure he’s better than The One Rock Triple Steve.
CP Munk, the straight-edge chipmunk!
Nick Piers: Player Uno, who has a kayfabe working NES
controller on his tights.
Joseph Lorraine: Tommy Treznik, a mad scientist who came out
with various elixirs in vials that would give him temporary abilities like Super
Strength or Invulnerability. And sometimes the opponent would steal one.
My choice can’t touch some of gems you guys pulled up, so
kudos to all involved today.
I’m going to go with Player Uno’s alter-ego, Flip D Berger.
He’s a McDonalds employee who loves the Golden Arches so much, he wrestles in a
burger costume. Not much of a gimmick, until he was paired with Moohammed, the
terrorist cow – who was quite upset to see this kid hocking his family members.
They’ve wrestled numerous times, most famously for
InterSpecies Wrestling.
Thanks for the great posts. I’ll catch you tomorrow.