Smackdown – May 16, 2014

Smackdown
Date: May 16, 2014
Location: Greensboro
Coliseum, Greensboro, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael
Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield
Reviewed by Tommy Hall
We’re back in WCW
country now but the interesting thing is the lack of a healthy WWE
Champion. Daniel Bryan has been forced out of action by neck
surgery, meaning we’re likely to have the title vacated in the near
future. Other than that we’re still focused on the Shield vs.
Evolution which will likely get a lot of TV time tonight, along with
Cena vs. Wyatt. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of
Daniel Bryan announcing his neck surgery from Monday. He promises
he’ll be back.
Here’s Cena to get
things going. We get a quick video of Bray Wyatt mentioning a last
man standing match on Raw. First up though, Cena wishes Daniel Bryan
the best and hopes he gets back soon. That brings Cena around to
Bray, who he knows can’t want a last man standing match. Bray
doesn’t have the heart to get into a match where there are no rules
and you have to beat your opponent so senseless that they can’t
answer the count of ten. Cena has been in those kind of matches
before and knows what they’re like.
Bray is a far more
intelligent person than that because he doesn’t have any of the dozen
words Cena uses for testicles. Cena accepts the challenge for a last
man standing match at Payback. However that leaves us with nothing
to do tonight, so Cena thinks we should have a fight. He makes an
open challenge to any member of the Wyatt Family and Bray gets to
make the pick. Cena bets that Bray won’t pick himself but here’s
Wyatt to answer.
Bray says Cena doesn’t
know him as well as he thinks he does. Wyatt walks with monsters and
sings with spirits while Cena’s world begs on its knees for mercy.
Now comes the end of the story. Whoever shall be the last man
standing will conquer all, but whoever loses will be trapped in the
prison of his own thoughts. Cena can make all the jokes he wants but
Bray wants to thank him. John has opened Bray’s mind and shown him
the key to all of Bray’s problems. His cure will take the air from
Cena’s lungs. The challenge for tonight is accepted.
Bolieve!
Cody
Rhodes/Goldust vs. Usos
Non-title. Goldust and
Jey get us going with the Uso being run over by a shoulder block and
taking an atomic drop. Some armdrags take Goldust down as Cole tells
us about Cody celebrating about his win over Sandow on Raw. Speaking
of Cody he comes in off a missile dropkick and cranks on a
hammerlock. It’s not good enough to prevent a tag though as Jimmy
comes in and works on an armbar of his own.
The champions start
their fast tags to stay on Cody with a double elbow drop for two.
Cody fights over and tags in Goldie for some elbows of his own.
Rhodes low bridges Jey to the floor to take over in a rather heelish
move. We take a break and come back with Cody whipping Jey into the
corner for another near fall. Goldust sends Jey’s weakened arm into
the post and gets two off a powerslam.
Back to Rhodes who
stays on the arm but gets caught by a shot to the ribs. Goldust
saves the hot tag but gets sent to the floor, allowing Jimmy to come
in. The Samoan drop and running Umaga attack are good for two on
Rhodes. Everything breaks down with Goldust and Jey fighting to the
floor. The Disaster Kick lays Jimmy out but Jey makes the save.
Jimmy comes back with the superkick and the Superfly Splash is good
for the pin at 8:20 shown of 10:50.
Rating:
C. Basic but well done match
here with both teams looking fine. This was much more interesting
than watching Cody have a two minute singles match that goes nowhere
for the same purpose. It could also play up the idea of Cody not
being able to do anything with Goldust around and wanting to do
everything on his own.
Cody is upset post
match and leaves on his own.
El
Torito vs. Heath Slater
Slater holds up a cape
for no apparent reason and gets gored from behind. Heath slams him
down and kicks Torito around with his boot before posing a bit.
Torito tries to fight back but Slater holds him back with one hand.
Horny tries to come in but hits Slater by mistake, allowing Torito to
hit a moonsault press for the pin at 2:18.
We recap Shield vs.
Evolution on Monday.
Natalya
vs. Nikki Bella
Eva Marie is guest
referee for no apparent reason. Natalya takes her down to start and
we get a nice bridge up into an attempted backslide. A discus lariat
gets two on Nikki but she comes back with a kind of facebuster for
two. Natalya comes back with a surfboard but Nikki rolls backwards
into a cradle for the pin at 2:30. Again they were there for how
they looked in their outfits, but this was WAY better than Raw.
Dolph Ziggler is in the
back and says that Batista is the weak link of Evolution. He can’t
just come back and be the star that he once was. Tonight the Show
Off is going to show Batista up.
Batista
vs. Dolph Ziggler
Feeling out process to
start with Ziggler actually knocking Batista out to the floor. Big
Dave pulls him out as well and sends Dolph hard into the steps. Back
in and Dolph is whipped into the corner before a suplex gets two. We
hit the chinlock for a few seconds, followed by a wicked spinebuster
to put Ziggler down. Ziggler punches out of the Batista Bomb and
comes back with a DDT to put both guys down. Batista misses a charge
into the post and Dolph hammers away until Batista hits him low for
the DQ at 4:32.
Rating:
C-. These guys have always had
good chemistry together, even back when Dolph was first starting out
in the WWE. This didn’t have the time to go anywhere but it’s nice
to see Ziggler hanging in there with Batista. I really wouldn’t mind
seeing these guys get a nice long match someday which isn’t something
I’d think I’d say about Batista.
Batista
lays out Ziggler post match, powerbombing him onto the barricade.
Titus
O’Neil vs. Sheamus
Non-title and fallout
from a few weeks ago when Titus jumped Sheamus before a match, only
to get beaten in about 40 seconds. Before the match this time, Titus
says Sheamus didn’t even pin anyone for the title. He shouldn’t be
US Champion because he’s not from the United States. On top of that,
everyone in the company is tough, including Titus. He gives Sheamus
a chance to get out of the ring before the match. Bell, Brogue Kick,
Sheamus laughs, pin at 15 seconds. According to a live report, Titus
called Sheamus “hot mayonnaise white”, which must have been
edited out.
Byron Saxton tries to
interview Adam Rose but Adam is more interested in a cheeseburger.
He has no issue with Jackie Swagger, even though he finds Zeb and
Jack boring. A big lemon comes out of the bus and Byron declares
himself a Rosebud. Someone puts a clown wig on Saxton’s head and he
starts dancing.
Bolieve!
Santino
Marella vs. Damien Sandow
This is the result of
Sandow’s open challenge. Sandow hammers away to start but misses a
charge into the corner, gets caught with the Cobra and pinned in 40
seconds.
Post match Sandow goes
on a rant about what a great soldier he is and how the fans love it
when the smart guy loses. However someone keeps leaving the mic on,
which cues the mic guy to cut the sound. This might go somewhere if
Sandow ever got to say anything.
Video of Cena at the
Susan G. Komen rally in Washington DC.
R-Truth
vs. Cesaro
Truth is a North
Carolina boy so the fans are even more into him. Before the match we
get the usual schtick from Heyman, this time focusing on the truth of
Brock Lesnar conquering the Streak, and Cesaro winning the Andre
battle royal being what’s up. Cesaro jumps Truth during WHAT’S UP
but Truth does his backflip into the side kick for two. The ax kick
misses though and it’s Swiss Death into the Neutralizer for the pin
at 1:15.
The Raw ReBound talks
about Bryan being attacked after his announcement of requiring neck
surgery. The update says Bryan’s surgery was a success. Another
update will be coming on Monday, along with an announcement on the
future of the title.
It’s time for the main
event and all three Wyatts surround Cena. This brings out the Usos
to even things up as we take a break.
John
Cena vs. ???
Bray selects Erick
Rowan to do the dirty work tonight. Rowan takes it right to Cena in
the corner before slamming him down in the middle of the ring. John
fights back with right hands but runs into a back elbow to the jaw.
Cena is thrown to the floor and then into the steps, right in front
of Wyatt. Back in and Erick does the two fist head vice before
throwing him right back to the floor.
John gets back in and
Rowan runs him over again before we hit the bearhug. A modified Boss
Man Slam gets two on Cena but he fights back with the ProtoBomb and
Shuffle. Cena dives into a fall away slam followed by a splash in
the corner. Not that it matters as Cena grabs the STF, drawing in
Harper. Jey easily takes him out though and a dive to the floor
drops Harper again. Rowan busts out a claw slam of all things for
two, only to walk into the AA for the pin at 8:23.
Rating:
C. That’s the beauty of minions
for Wyatt. On top of that it was a decent power match with Rowan
continuing to look fine. He and Harper have a future as a tag team
and likely will get the shot against the Usos at Payback. It’ll be a
solid power vs. speed match and there’s nothing wrong with that.
Overall
Rating:
C-. This was another
meaningless Smackdown but there are far worse ways to spend a Friday
night. Like reading through all the people running off at the mouth
about the stock falling. The short matches worked in a way as I
didn’t have time to get annoyed or bored with a lot of the lame acts.
Some story progression took place, but everything is kind of in
limbo due to the impending announcement about the title and the
European tour.
Results
Usos b. Cody
Rhodes/Goldust – Superkick to Rhodes
El Torito b. Heath
Slater – Moonsault press
Nikki Bella b. Natalya
– Cradle
Dolph Ziggler b.
Batista via DQ when Batista hit him low
Sheamus b. Titus O’Neil
– Brogue Kick
Santino Marella b.
Damien Sandow – Cobra
Cesaro b. R-Truth –
Neutralizer
John Cena b. Erick
Rowan – Attitude Adjustment
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