The SmarK Rant for Monday Night RAW–04.26.94

The SmarK Rant for Monday Night RAW – 04.26.94 Taped from Utica, NY Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Randy Savage. Reading Dave Meltzer’s hatred of Savage on color in the Observers from this time is kind of funny, as he just buries Savage’s commentary job and calls him the worst of all-time. Razor Ramon v. Jeff Jarrett Vince was JUST talking about how Ramon is putting the title up here, and then it’s announced as non-title. Not that it matters much given that he had already lost the title weeks earlier, but geez. Also, this weekend, Ramon puts the title on the line against Diesel on Superstars, and in fact loses it there. Ramon flicks his toothpick at JJ, which Savage notes isn’t such a good idea because it’s the 90s and sharing toothpicks is dangerous. Especially from Scott Hall. Jarrett works on the arm, but gets caught in the blockbuster slam and bails. Back in, Ramon slugs away and Vince is all MIXING IT UP IN A ROUGHHOUSE FASHION. I wonder if he wooed Linda with those words of passion? Jarrett gets a back elbow to take over and drops a fist for two. Savage is still having flashbacks to the Double Feature earlier in the match. Jarrett with the chinlock and he cuts off a ccomeback as we take a break. Back with a sunset flip from Razor that gets two, but Jarrett jumps on him with a sleeper. Ramon fights out of that and makes the comeback with his fisticuffsmanship, but Jarrett tosses him and it’s the highest praise Vince can bestow, the See-Saw Matchup. Shawn comes down to further taunt Ramon and gets his ass beat, and Ramon makes the comeback on Jarrett in the ring. Shawn gets involved again and gets beat up again to the delight of Vince, but now Diesel runs in for the DQ at 13:40 and the beatdown commences while Jarrett disappears back to Nashville. Jarrett had his working boots on tonight. ***1/4 Bam Bam Bigelow v. Tony DeVito Bigelow beats on him and chokes away while we get a rare phone interview with Jack Tunney, who announces that next week will see the tag title match all the kids have been clamoring for. Bigelow quickly finishes with the enzuigiri at 2:00. The Heavenly Bodies v. John Paul & Jason Headings The Bodies double-team John Paul as Vince claims that last week’s RAW was the highest rated episode of the show. Also, Mr. Perfect no-showed a match with Luger, and so he’s been fired. So there you go. According to the WON from the time, he needed foot surgery but quit anyway. The Steiners also quit at this point, as did the Quebecers. Rough week for Titan. Headings comes in with some dropkicks on Dr. Tom, but he walks into a Veg-O-Matic and gets tormented in the heel corner. More double-teams on Headings and Del Ray finishes with a moonsault at 5:00. The King’s Court with Nikolai Volkoff, who is now broke, although not so broke that he can’t afford front row tickets to RAW weeks on end. 1-2-3 Kid v. Duane Gill The clash of future light heavyweight champions! Gill actually attacks and gets a clothesline to take over, then tosses Kid. Kid comes back in with a springboard clothesline and throws kicks in the corner, but then finishes with a leg lariat at 3:08. Meanwhile, at a deli in Noo Yawk, some guy tells us about how Undertaker came in and ordered a sandwich. Owen Hart v. Rich Myers I recall Myers usually being billed as Sonny Myers for some reason. Owen slaps him around and catches him with a boot out of the corner, and a dropkick. Gut wrench suplex and we hit the chinlock as Vince pays his respects to Richard Nixon. Yeah, he would. Sharpshooter finishes at 3:21. Captain Lou and Johnny Polo get into an argument to end the show, with Randy Savage stepping in on behalf of Albano. Next week: Finally the goddamned Quebecers v. Headshrinkers match so they’ll shut the hell up about it already!