Matt’s Recap: WWE Extreme Rules – 5/4/2014

I usually cover Main Event. This is my first rant about an Event Formerly Known as a Pay Per View.

I won’t get too fancy.

We
start with a promo portraying HHH as a dictator with an empire. This
empire has demons and rebelling soldiers and those who make you
question your own beliefs.

And we are LIVE from the IZOD Center in East Rutherford, New Jersey!!!

JBL, Michael Cole and King are your guys as usual.

MATCH #1: Rob Van Dam vs. Jack Swagger (w/ Zeb Colter) vs. Cesaro (w/ Paul Heyman) in a Elimination Triple Threat Match
Once again, we have to sit through Heyman’s needlessly long entrance.  The
three men punch at each other, then Cesaro and Swagger team up on RVD with a reverse elbow
of the ropes. Cesaro goes after Swagger but Swagger hits a belly to
belly suplex. RVD gets into it by hitting a springing kick off the ropes
to Swagger and then a Slingshot Splash to Cesaro and Cesaro lands on
top of Swagger. Swagger hits a quick two count. Swagger goes outside to
collect RVD who fell outside at Swagger’s hands but Swagger clears the
ring and then hits a powerbomb to Cesaro outside! RVD is in with Swagger
and hits a swinging reverse suplex and gets two. He slams RVD and hits a
Swagger Bomb for two. Cesaro suddenly gets in the ring and hits the
Cesaro Swing on Swagger, getting 9 spins before RVD boots Cesaro in the
face and pins him for two. RVD slams Cesaro and goes for th 5SFS but
Swagger press slams him to the mat off the ropes and hits the Patriot
Lock. RVD kicks at Swagger and Cesaro hits a running uppercut off the
ropes for two. Cesaro tries to ram Swagger into the buckle but Swagger
does it to him instead and climbs the ropes but Cesaro uppercuts him and suplexes him into the ring with Swagger’s feet planted on the other side of the ropes! RVD follows with the 5SFS! Three!
Swagger’s gone, though everyone’s confused about the elimination rules and thinks it was a botched cover, seemingly.

Cesaro
is immediately on RVD with Gut Wrenches and a German Suplex for two. RVD
rolls outside and Cesaro jumps off the ropes and nails him with a
double axehandle outside. Cesaro tosses RVD into the crowd barrier and
tries to jump off it but RVD kicks him off, leaving Cesaro hanging over
it. RVD hits a Flying Guillotine Legdrop on Cesaro and the crowd loves
it and chants, “ECW”. Cesaro is back inside and RVD hits Rolling
Thunder, then the Flipping Moonsault! Two count for both the moves. RVD
goes under the mat and pulls out a trash can but Cesaro dropkicks the
can into RVD’s face. Cesaro tosses the crumpled can into the ring as
well as RVD but RVD hits body scissors, NEARLY pinning Cesaro. He grabs
the can and throws into Cesaro’s arms and then kicks the can into
Cesaro’s face. He puts the can on top of Cesaro’s chest and goes for the
5-Star Frogsplash…but Cesaro moves and hits the Neutralizer on TOP of
the can and we are done at around 12:36.
WINNER: Cesaro via Neutralizer
GRADE: B+. Surprisingly, RVD carried this thing for the most part, managing to out-do Cesaro. Swagger didn’t even belong in the match or just seemed wholly invisible to me.

Backstage,
a trainer is working on Daniel Bryan’s arm. Steph interrupts and says
she can’t control Kane. She’s afraid for him and his wife and his Mom.
She’s afraid that he’s gonna get annihilated. She tells Daniel Bryan
that he should surrender the title tonight.


Bryan: “Stephanie…get out of my face.”

He
says he’s walking in as champ and he’ll walk out as champ. Steph says
that won’t happen. Because he’ll be walking out as “Kane’s Bitch”.

If you can climb the hills outside your house and be a chick who
finally gets preggers, it’s because you BO-LIEVED. These just get worse
as time goes by.

MATCH #2: Alexander Rusev (w/ Lana) vs. R-Truth & Xavier Woods in a Handicap Match
Lana
talks up Vladimir Putin because it’s been too long since the crowd was whipped into a Jingoistic frenzy by something that wasn’t Hacksaw Jim Duggan. She is “dedicating this
match” to him. She introduces Rusev who gets to the ring and, before the bell rings, Rusev immediately boots Xavier Woods out of the ring. He follows up by going outside and throwing him into the steel under the ring. Then he hits a Gut Wrench
Suplex for good measure before going into the ring to face R-Truth. The ref rings the bell and Rusev is all over
Truth, punching him and whipping him into the posts. The crowd chants
“WE WANT LANA”. Woods is still out and Rusev charges at Truth but misses
and Truth takes the opportunity to get in some offense, culminating in a missile drop kick. He hits
the Scissor Kick and gets two as Lana’s head nearly explodes like one of those possessed villagers in Resident Evil 4. Rusev comes
back with a kick, then hits his Tornado Spinebuster and the Accolade at 2:37.
Helluva Handicap Match, huh?
WINNER: Rusev via Accolade
GRADE: D-. Another RAW squash come and gone.

Post-match, the heels start walking back to the ramp and Lana tells Rusev to destroy Woods, too. So he does.

Commercial for Juicy Drop Pops.

Lillian Garcia says that the winner of the USA Games Special Olympics in New Jersey will be revealed soon. Many of the competitors are at ringside tonight.

Renee
Young is backstage with Evolution. She wants to know about their game
plan. HHH says they have massive egos. He talks up Batista and Orton and
says they’re with the Cerebral Assassin tonight and everyone keeps asking WHY people call him that — and he’ll show everyone what
that means. You know, just in case they haven’t seen HHH wrestle
anytime in the last 15+ years.

Barrett’s here with some
BAD NEWS: The MERS virus is here and everyone will succumb to it. But
that’s not gonna be anything compared to how he will beat up Big E.

MATCH #3: Bad News Barrett (challenger) vs. Big E (champion) for the WWE Intercontinental Championship
Barrett
poses and claps for the crowd so Big E tosses him into the ropes and
hits a shoulderblock. Barrett rolls outside and Big E follows and tosses
him into the ringpost, then spears him. He rolls Barrett into the ring
but Barrett kicks E and E rolls back outside. Barrett leaps off the
apron with an elbow, hitting it, then rolls E into the ring for a
one-count. Barrett tries a suplex but E reverses it. The crowd is
clearly behind Barrett as he comes back with a suplex and gets two.
Headlock by Barrett but E gets out and charges and Barrett hits a cross
body for two. He gets up and hits E with a big boot, then chokes him on
the ropes and lays him across the top buckle. He poses for the crowd who
loves him, then charges and E hits a belly to belly suplex. E hulks up a
bit and hits clotheslines and another belly to belly suplex. He spears
Barrett in the corner and knocks Barrett from the ring. Barrett gets to
the mat and E tries to suplex him back in but nothing doing. So, he
SPEARS BARRETT OUT OF THE RING. Holy shit. He tosses Barrett back in and
gets two. He goes for the Splash and runs into Winds of Change for two!
Wow. He stops on E and then tries to toss him into the corner
but Barrett reverses and E runs into the Ringpost. Barrett hits
Wasteland and NEARLY gets another pin. He calls for the Bullhammer but E
catches him and hits a Spinebuster Slam and Warrior Splash. He calls
for the Big Easy but Barrett gets out and goes for the Bullhammer…but misses. Big E ducks and runs at him and Barrett hits it anyway, and gets the
pin at 7:55.
WINNER AND NEW CHAMPION: Bad News Barrett via Bullhammer
GRADE: B-. Not a bad match but E seemed like he was mailing this in and the whole thing felt like something you might see on Smackdown. Glad that Barrett is finally making the comeback he deserves after the last misfire.

A promo for WWE Stackdown, which is Lego WWE, only it’s not by Lego. It comes complete with your favorite current superstars like John Cena and Sheamus! And, UH-OH, here comes Biker Undertaker from 14 years ago! (Sidenote: I would actually kill for a Lego WWE video game. Let’s get that puppy going, huh?)


Adam says he’s coming to RAW this Monday. And he has bunnies.

We get a video package for The Shield vs. Evolution.

MATCH
#4: Evolution (Batista, Randy Orton & Triple H) vs. The Shield (WWE
United States Champion Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins & Roman Reigns)

The heels comes out and wait for The Shield to come out. There’s a long,
long delay before they finally hit the ring. Crowd is already chanting
“THIS IS AWESOME”. It’s a West Side Story stare-down until the bell rings, then it’s a Pier Six Brawl after that. The Shield clears the ring as Cole wets his pants, declaring The Shield “winners of the first battle”.
HHH runs into the ring but Rollins sees it coming and puts HHH into the
corner, slugging away. He slings HHH into the ropes and hits a forearm, then a Stinger
Splash in the corner and clotheslines HHH out of the ring, followed by a
Suicide Dive to HHH outside. Orton attacks next so Rollins just punches him away. He
gets back in the ring and runs into a HUGE clothesline by HHH. Tag to
Batista who gets massive heat. He tosses Rollins into the corner and rams him repeatedly with his shoulders. Tag to Orton who beats on Rollins and then stomps
him near the ropes, then hits a slingshot clotheline using the bottom
rope. Orton tags in HHH who hits a kneelift and gets two.

Tag
to Batista who elbows Rollins from the outside, then boots him in the
head and pins for two. Tag to Orton who stomps on Rollins foot and
wrist. He drops Rollins on the top rope, stomach-first, then hits a
side headlock after Rollins tries to tag in one of his guys. Rollins gets
to his feet and tries a tag but Orton drags him away…so Rollins
finally counters with a sidewalk slam to Orton and starts crawling to his corner to make a hot tag.
The rest of Evolution, however, comes running in and attacks Reigns and Ambrose, knocking them off the
mat. Orton pulls Rollins to his feet and Rollins hits an Enzuguri and
tags Ambrose who missile dropkicks Orton and then boots away at
Batiasta. Orton goes for an RKO but Ambrose gets out of Orton’s grip and hits a
clothesline and a Figure Four much to the delight of the Flair fans in attendance. Reigns, meanwhile, works on Batista outside the ring, tossing him into
the crowd barrier outside. Ambrose and Orton are still inside as Reigns
misses a Spear on Triple H and ends up running into the steel steps. Back inside, Batista just works over Ambrose in the corner. Ambrose gets to his
feet but Batista hits a massive clothesline and tags in Orton who puts
Ambrose in a headlock.

Rollins is back on the mat and
so is Reigns after a bit, looking a little beat up. Orton hits a dropkick on Ambrose after he gets
free. Tag to HHH who taunts Ambrose and tells him to get up. He punches
at Ambrose, knocking him down and then puts Ambrose into the corner. He
charges Ambrose who hits a boot but then charges and runs into a HHH
Spinebuster. Tag to Batista who hits a running elbow and gets a two
count. He puts Ambrose in a headlock but Ambrose gets free. HHH tagged
in but he gets DDT’ed. Ambrose tags Reigns and it’s on. He takes out
Orton and Batista, then uppercuts Batista, He takes out Orton outside,
along with Batista. Batista tries to put Reigns
in a Batista Bomb but Rollins makes the save. The Shield gets in the
ring. Reigns hits The Superman Punch on Batista and The Shield hits the Triple
Powerbomb! 1…2…nope. Triple H pulls Reigns from the ring…and the chaos begins.

Evolution gangs up on Reigns. Ambrose comes over and beats on Orton. Rollins flies
at Triple H with a Suicide Dive and MISSES! Triple H gets back in the ring and NEARLY runs into a Reigns Superman Punch but DUCKS and then IMMEDIATELY hits the Pedigree! HHH realizes he was never tagged, so he drags a still-unconscious Batista on top of
Reigns for the pin. Ambrose comes in and takes Triple H out of the ring, beating on him
outside…but Batista has his arm over Reigns: 1…2…REIGNS KICKS OUT. Crowd is ballistic at this point. Orton
comes in and RKO’s Reigns but Rollins makes the save on the pin! He takes out Orton and runs him into the crowd barricades which also takes out the cameraman. Orton puts Rollins into the
timekeeper’s pit and Triple H joins him as they stomp Rollins. Suddenly, AMBROSE RUNS ACROSS BOTH
ANNOUNCE TABLES AND DIVES AT ORTON AND TRIPLE H INSIDE THE PIT. The fight spills into the crowd as Rollins, Ambrose, Orton and Triple H fight their way up the stairs of the IZOD Center. Orton and Triple H take out Rollins and knock Ambrose down a set of stairs backstage. Orton and Triple H attack, smacking
Ambrose’s head on the step railing and all seems lost…until Triple H and Orton look high above them to the crowd concourse above the backstage doorway and see Rollins WHO LEAPS OFF THE CONCOURSE AND TAKES OUT TRIPLE H AND ORTON.

Crowd chants, “HOLY SHIT” as all four men lay on the concrete, beat up and spent. Meanwhile, back in the ring, Batista gets to his feet. Reigns
charges and Batista hits the Spinebuster! He stomps his foot, signalling for the Batista Bomb. Crowd is NOT happy. He goes for the Batista Bomb
but Reigns shoves Batista off of him and hits The Superman Punch and a HUGE Spear and it’s over at 19:57.
WINNERS: The Shield via Spear
GRADE: A+. There are no other words. This was the match of the evening, if not a candidate for match of the year. 

Post-match, Reigns, suddenly bestowed with the powers of Lassie, finds and re-unites with his boys backstage and poses with them.

We get a promo for Legend’s House. They will be stripping. For women. Because.

Cole, King, and JBL push the WWE Network and I still can’t, honestly, understand why more people aren’t buying this thing.

Steel cage lowers…Bray and Cena are next as we run a promo for the two of them.

MATCH #5: John Cena vs. Bray Wyatt (w/ Luke Harper & Eric Rowan) in a Steel Cage Match
Cena checks the cage for stability and seems satisfied. Even though it has no roof. And the door isn’t locked and they can use it to get in. And the match is No-DQ. Yup. Everything’s perfectly fine. Bray
and the Family hit the ring with dozens of cellphone lights in the audience
swaying back and forth to their theme song. Bray shakes the cage after he arrives as Cena
paces like a tiger, waiting for him. Bray whispers something in Rowan’s
ear, then Harper’s. He gets in the ring and Cena tells the ref to watch
the other two Wyatt members who can open the door and enter at anytime.
Bray gets headlocked but then hits a shoulderblock. He hits a
clothesline after that as the crowd gets behind Bray. Bray tosses Cena
into the corner but Cena reverses and hits a suplex off the running
charge. He tries to climb the cage but Harper and Rowan block him. Bray
clotheslines Cena when he comes back down. The two brawl but Bray gets
the upper hand and tosses Cena into the cage. Bray knocks Cena down with
a punch and then pushes Cena’s face against the cage, telling Cena to
apologize to everyone. Rowan splashes Cena against the cage from the
outside as the crowd sings and sways like a bunch of typical East Coast
Marks. Bray tries to escape from the cage but Cena won’t let him and
slingshots Bray into the cage. Cena climbs the cage but Herper and Rowan
get in his way. Cena doesn’t care and climbs over. Bray climbs up, too,
but he gets kicked off. Cena is over the top again but Bray stops him
again. Cena tries for a move off the top rope but Bray kicks him off.
Bray gets a two count.

Bray dances around the ring with
Cena and then hits a chokeslam. Two count. Bray pulls Cena up and Cena
grabs him for the AA but Bray gets off of Cena’s shoulders. Cena hits a
quick dropkick and starts climbing the cage again. Bray goes into Spider
Mode and tries to escape the cage but Cena stops him. He kicks Cena
away and then hits a cross body for two. He tosses Cena into the cage on
opposite sides. He tries again but Cena reverses it and Bray eats cage
instead. Bray tries a clothesline but Cena hits two shoulderblocks and
the Cena Slam. U CAN’T SEE ME and the Five Knuckle Shuffle. He goes for
the AA but Bray uses Cena’s shoulders as a ladder, climbing off Cena to the side of the cage. Cena
grabs him and powerbombs him. Two count and the match continues. Cena calls for
the ref to open the door but Rowan pushes the ref away and holds the
door shut. Cena tries to force the door open against Rowan and nearly succeeds…but Harper arrives to help and it doesn’t matter anyhow because Bray immediately attacks Cena
from behind and hits a DDT for two. He goes into Hanging Spider Mode but
misses the reverse Senton. Cena takes advantage and climbs the cage again, this time, getting OUT of the cage to the other side…but Rowan climbs
up to meet him, puts Cena ON HIS SHOULDERS and pushes him back into the cage.

Bray attacks but
Cena hits a Facebuster off the top rope! Two count! Cena climbs again
but Harper climbs the cage and beats on Cena, knocking him back inside
the ring…but Cena rams Harper’s head into the cage and Harper is
unconscious inside. Cena climbs the cage but Rowan grabs a chair and
tells him not to do it. Cena gets back in and Wyatt grabs him and Suplex
Tosses him cross the ring! Holy shit. He goes for Sister Abigail but
Wyatt counters with the STF. Wyatt drags himself out the door of the
cage.  Cena pulls him back in by his feet. Rowan grabs Bray’s arms and
it’s a tug of war…but Cena wins and pulls him back in. After disabling
Harper (who’s still in the ring), Bray climbs the cage…but Cena stops
him, pulls him onto his shoulders and manages to hit the AA off the second rope. He pins…but Harper makes
the save. Cena gets up and climbs the cage again but Rowan climbs
too…Rowan gets to the top first but Cena grabs Rowan by his beard and
knocks him unconscious by ramming his head into the steel lining the top. Harper
attacks! But Cena knocks him out again. With everyone knocked out, Cena heads for the door of the cage…but we get the “Wyatt Cut” and the place goes dark…and we hear a REALLY fucking warped, demonic version of “He’s Got
the Whole World in His Hands” being sung in the darkness. When the
lights come up, it’s a little kid, grinning and singing it in Cena’s
face. Cena backs up…right into Bray who hits
Sister Abigail. Bray gets out of the cage for the win at 21:26.
WINNER: Bray Wyatt
GRADE:
B-. Entertaining but, come on. This was painfully long and I find it hard to believe that no character or commentator, in the last three weeks leading up to this match, even bothered to point out that interference was not only possible but inevitable with a wide-open cage and unlocked door. That said, creepy finish and I liked the fact that Cena was in the middle of a nightmare the entire time and couldn’t escape it even though he thought he had.

Post-match,
Bray hugs the creepy, smiling blonde kid who looks uncomfortable as
Bray smears his sweaty, ugly body all over the kid’s face. They hold his
hands and lead him away from the ring as Cena stares in disbelief.


Cole and the boys throw it over to Josh Matthews, Booker T, Sheamus,
and Alex Riley who (surprise) CANNOT BELIEVE WHAT THEY’VE JUST WITNESSED. They also
loved The Shield and Evolution match.

We see clips from the WEE-LC Match from the Pre-Show which was pretty good stuff despite my expectations. Forgive me for not covering it. B+, though. I’ll say that.

MATCH #6: Tamina Snuka (challenger) vs. Paige (champion) for the WWE Divas Championship
Tamina heads to the ring as Cole reminds us, once again, that she “is the daughter of Hall of Famer, Jimmy Snuka” just in case his reminders each week for the last year hadn’t clued you in. The two women lock up and Paige
is all over Tamina with punches, then stomps her in the corner. Tamina
lunges at Paige over and over but Paige moves out of the way of each attempt to grab her, then rolls up Tamina for a one-count. Tamina whips Paige into the ropes and Tamina charges but Paige
climbs on her shoulders and rolls her up for two. Paige knees Tamina
outside the ropes then climbs the top rope but Tamina Superkicks her causing Paige to fall outside the ring in a heap. Tamina rolls her back in
and pins for two. Tamina tosses Paige into the corner then hits a HUGE
slam for two. She slams Paige on the mat, over and over, and gets two again as
JBL says that Tamina could have been in the APA. Paige runs at Tamina
and pushes her out of the ring. She goes for a Hurricarana but Tamina
just spins her around by her legs and slams Paige’s head into the crowd barrier. Tamina puts her back into the ring and puts Paige on her shoulders, climbing
the top rope but Paige powerbombs her on a counter for three. Or not.
They blew the spot. Paige hits a Tornado DDT of sorts and gets two.
Paige runs at Tamina and Tamina hits a Spinning Spinebuster. Paige tries
to get to her feet and tries the Superkick but Paige catches her and
hits the Scorpion Crosslock. Tamina taps at 6:19.
WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION: Paige via Scorpion Crosslock
GRADE: C+. Paige’s first decent match.

Wyatt cut.

Little
Johnny is backstage with the Wyatts. Can’t wait for the Little
Johnny/Little Jimmy feud. Bray says Cena is trapped in a little box. He
asks Little Johnny what everyone will do now. In the goofy Nailz voice,
he says, “FOLLOW…THE BUZZARDS”, then puts on a sheep mask.

We’re at the main event but, first, it’s a video package of Daniel Bryan and “That Bastard” Kane.

MATCH #7: Daniel Bryan (champion) vs. Kane (challenger) for the WWE Heavyweight Championship in an Extreme Rules Match
Bryan
wastes no time. Kane’s music hits, Kane walks out and Bryan runs out of
the ring and jumps him in the aisle. Kane tosses him into the crowd cage on the
side, then into the mat, then goes under the ring for the Wicker Stick of
Doom. Bryan punches at him, the stick drops and Bryan gets back inside the ring. Kane gets in and
goes for the top rope but Bryan dropkicks him and then climbs up,
punches him and hits a Frankensteiner. Holy shit. He dropkicks Kane and
then ejects him from the ring. Outside, he rushes Kane who counters, hitting a Big Boot. Kane picks
Bryan up and kicks him in the stomach, then whips him into the crowd
barricade. He picks up Bryan and also a chair, slamming Bryan’s back on top of
the timekeeper wall which has seen more action than a teen watching Cinemax on Sunday night. Bryan crawls back
into the ring. Kane grabs a chair and botches throwing it into the ring as the chair bounces off the ropes and goes back outside.
The crowd boos. Kane sets up a chair in the corner but Bryan hits him
with the Wicker Stick, then tries to hit Kane off the top rope. Kane
uppercuts him, then whacks him with the chair. He sets up the chair on
its legs and sidewalk slams Bryan into the chair. Two count.

Kane
goes for the Chokeslam but Bryan jumps out of it and drop toeholds Kane
into the corner chair. Bryan climbs the ropes and hits the missile
dropkick. Kane falls outside so Bryan hits the Flying Goat as the crowd
chants “YES”. Bryan takes apart the announce tables and uses each piece
on Kane. Kane fights back and rams Bryan’s head into the announce table,
then tosses the table facade into Bryan’s back. Kane takes apart the
Spanish Announce Table and attempts a chokeslam but Bryan gets out,
kicks him off and hits a Flying Tornado DDT off the table! Wow! He kicks
at Kane but Kane knees him and tosses him into the steel steps. Kane
takes apart the steel steps and then sets up for the Tombstone but Bryan
counters and throws Kane into the ringpost. Bryan goes under the ring
and grabs another Kendo stick and whacks Kane with it repeatedly until
Kane hits him with a HARD uppercut.

He tosses Bryan
into the video screen on the ramp and the match spills backstage. Kane
tosses Bryan into a bucket of water, then lifts up an HDTV and throws it
into a bucket of water…but Bryan’s no longer in there. Kane punches
Bryan as the fight goes to the backstage parking lot. Bryan picks up a shovel and whacks Bryan in
the back. Bryan punches Kane on top of a car, then runs at Kane who body
drops him on the hood. Kane picks up an oxygen tank which he throws at
Bryan who moves and the tank goes through the windshield. (G/F: “Eh…it’s only a Subaru.”)
Kane punches Bryan but misses and his fist goes through the window of a BMW. Bryan takes a tire iron and knocks Kane senseless with it. Then he stands there as he realizes that Kane’s out like a light and he
can’t drag him to the ring…so he has an idea. He picks Kane up and
puts him on a wood pallet block which is on a forklift….

Bryan
drives the forklift out of the backstage area to the ring and then
raises the fork and dumps Kane into the ring. JBL, himself, questions this bullshit and asks “Where did he learn
to DRIVE a forklift?” Bryan gets out and climbs the crate and hits a HUGE Flying Headbutt and gets a close fall. Bryan sets up in the corner
and Kane sits up. He goes for the Flying Knee but Kane catches him and hits the
Chokeslam and gets a VERY near fall. Kane corners the ref who tells him Bryan got
the shoulder up. Kane gets a chair and runs his finger across his neck, a’la Undertaker.
He goes for the Tombstone but Bryan counters with a Tornado DDT. Two-count. He picks up the chair and whacks Kane with it about ten times, then
hits the YES Lock, but can’t get the lock all the way around Kane’s head. Kane manages to squirm loose and grabs a nearby Kendo stick,
whacking Bryan’s head with it but can’t get the necessary power or leverage to do any damage. Bryan takes the stick from him and uses it to
lock the move in completely. Kane’s only move now is to get out of the hold and he does by falling out of the ring, forcing Bryan to let go. Bryan’s not done with him, however, and goes into Flying Goat Mode, diving at Kane outside but KANE CATCHES HIM AND CHOKESLAMS HIM THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE. Nice payoff after taking all that time to set it up.

Kane shoves
Bryan back in the ring and then goes under the ring again, pulling out a folding table. He sets
it up as two dudes run to his sides with fire extinguishers. Why? Because Kane also grabs a gas can and a lighter. He pours it on the
table and lights it. He gets back on the mat to get Bryan but, since the set up for that took, like four weeks, Bryan’s already recovered and knocks Kane off the mat, onto the table. Kane
immediately gets up, discombobulated, with a dude practically showering him with fire extinguisher Like Piper at Wrestlemania V, then gets in the ring. Bryan hits
the Flying Knee and we’re done at 22:44.
WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION: Daniel Bryan via Flying Knee
GRADE: B-. A little much at times. The forklift thing was a bit silly and the flaming table was arbitrary and complete overkill. We didn’t need that finish. The brawling and back-and-forth, however, was top-notch and it was clear that these two wanted to kill one another.

Post-match,
Bryan celebrates in the aisle. Kane gets up and hits his fire, letting
Bryan know this isn’t over as we go off the air with Kane’s music still playing

OVERALL: B+. I really liked this one. It was never boring and was a decent follow-up to Wrestlemania XXX.

That’s it. Thank you to Scott Keith and all the people who like what they read and if you wanna read more of my stuff, please visit WE HATE
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