Impact Wrestling – April 24, 2014

Impact
Wrestling
Date: April 24, 2014
Location: Impact Zone,
Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Taz, Mike
Tenay
Reviewed by Tommy Hall
It’s the go home show
for Sacrifice and we have most of the card set up if you can remember
some of the matches we’ve heard discussed here or there. Things are
being set up for the TV show week to week, which defeats the purpose
of having monthly PPVs but it’s TNA so you know they have to screw up
something every now and then. Let’s get to it.

Angle is warming up in
the back and says if Spud backs out of their match tonight, he’s
coming for EC3.
We recap the World
Title change from a few weeks ago and last week’s Monster’s Ball
match.
Here’s Magnus with what
looks like a grappling hook. He calls out Abyss because it’s the
Monster’s fault that Magnus lost the title. Magnus calls Abyss a
blithering idiot. The weapon in his hand is part of a turnbuckle and
Magnus yells at Abyss for not coming down to ringside. Abyss says
he’d be fired if he came down so Magnus fires him anyway. The
monster says that it was never about the money but wanting to belong
to someone. Abyss says he’s still a monster and looks to want a
fight but here’s MVP to
interrupt.
MVP says calm down and
that Abyss isn’t his favorite person after Abyss hit him with a chair
a few weeks ago. However, MVP is all about second chances so maybe
Abyss should be offered a full time spot on the roster if he can win
his match tonight. That match is of course against Magnus and MVP
literally skips away. Abyss is thrilled and promises to take care of
Magnus tonight.
Spud tells EC3 to save
the speech this week but EC3 cuts him off and says last week he saw a
ghost. It was actually real though and there’s only one man that can
beat Angle: Carter himself. Tonight Spud needs to be a gazelle for
Carter. Ethan adjusts Spud’s tie and the picture is starting to make
sense to the Rockster.
Rockstar Spud vs.
Kurt Angle
Spud goes for a leg
dive and is literally thrown across the ring. A tilt-a-whirl
backbreaker puts Spud down and Angle no sells everything until Carter
trips him up to give Spud quick control. Angle
runs the ropes for the suplex and the ankle lock gets the win at
2:04.
Ethan clips Angle post
match but Willow makes the
save.
The Beautiful People
promise to give Madison a makeover.
Kenny King is in MVP’s
office when the boss comes in. King thinks he should be the top name
on this program so MVP gives him a match right now.
Here’s Madison Rayne
for even more talking. She calls out the Beautiful People so here’s
Angelina to yell at her for trying to be a role model. Madison
apologizes and the fight is on until the numbers catch up with her.
They load up the bag but
Brittany comes in to try for a save. That goes as well as you would
expect and Velvet hits In Yo Face to Madison. Now Rayne gets the
bag.
Mr.
Anderson has something special planned for Samuel Shaw tonight.
Gail Kim wants to team
up with Madison to help fight the Beautiful People. Madison accepts
and Brittany promises to be there again.
Kenny King vs. Bobby
Lashley
Lashley easily throws
King down a few times to start and runs him over before throwing King
off a headlock. King bails
to the floor and tries to sneak up on Bobby, only to have Lashley
pull a reverse leapfrog into a powerslam. Lashley moves the referee
out of the corner and blocks a pike in the eye but gets caught by the
other hand. King snaps Bobby’s throat across the top rope and scores
with a springboard missile dropkick.
Bobby fights back with
pure power and hits a hard shoulder in the corner. Lashley
grabs King’s boot to the ribs but gets kicked in the head. King
tries a Blockbuster but gets caught in mid air for a suplex. That
looked awesome. King dives away to avoid the spear and takes the
countout at 5:37.
Rating: D+.
The Blockbuster counter was awesome but this was a VERY dull match
otherwise. It was basically a squash until King walked out at the
end. I’m not sure how seeing Kenny getting beaten up for four
minutes and then leaving makes me want to see him fight even more but
there are a lot of things I don’t get in TNA.
Mr.
Anderson goes to see Samuel Shaw’s family and the mom’s name is
Christy. Anderson’s face is rather amusing. More on this later.
Beer
Money has a talk in the back and after ranting about history a bit,
Storm wants credit for making Gunner what he is today.
Austin Aries vs. MVP
This is a result of
Aries turning his back on MVP at Lockdown and then losing the match.
Aries grabs a cravate to start but MVP takes over with a wristlock.
A nice flip gets Aries out of a headlock and he nails MVP with a low
dropkick. MVP comes right back with a facebuster and the Ballin
Elbow but Aries bails outside. The boss dives onto Aries as the
announcers are in their own little world. Aries dropkicks him back
to the floor and hits a top rope ax handle so let’s talk about Abyss.

Back in and the
slingshot hilo sets up a running elbow drop for two on MVP and a
middle rope elbow to the back gets the same. Aries
misses the running dropkick but bites his way out of a standing
choke. MVP comes right back with a discus lariat for two but walks
into a facebuster to put both guys down. Aries misses a 450 and the
Drive By is good for the pin at 6:38.
Rating: C.
It’s the best match and segment of the night but I’m still not
interested in what they’re doing here. That’s the story of the
entire show so far: it’s just not all that interesting and things
aren’t getting much better. MVP beating Aries changes nothing and it
ends a storyline that didn’t have a lot of interest in the first
place. How does seeing this make me want to buy Sacrifice?
Video
on Sanada.
Back
at the Shaw house with the mom straight out of Leave it to Beaver
talking about how talented her son is. She’s baking homemade apple
pie for Samuel who still lives in the basement. So what was the
apartment he took Christy to a few months ago?
James Storm/Bobby
Roode vs. Bully Ray/Gunner
Storm grabs a headlock
on Ray after a break but both members of Beer Money are taken down
with backdrops. Gunner comes in to work on Storm’s arm as we hear
about their latest gimmick match on Sunday, this one being an I Quit
match. Ray fights out of the corner but Roode distracts the referee
so Storm can crotch him against the post. Storm: “IT’S BECAUSE
YOU’RE FAT!”
Back in and Roode
cranks on a front facelock until
Ray fights up, only to be slammed back down. Ray comes back with a
suplex and makes the hot tag to Gunner for some house cleaning.
Gunner
plays D-Von for What’s Up on Storm and
it’s table time. Ray misses an elbow from the apron to drive himself
through the table. Back inside Gunner hits an F5 on Roode but walks
into the Last Call for the pin at 7:05.
Rating: C-.
Nothing wrong with mixing up two feuds, but at the end of the day
I’ve seen Gunner vs. Storm so many times now that I’m not interested
in it anymore. Roode vs. Ray is fine but I’ve pretty much forgotten
why they’re fighting (and no I’m not asking people to tell me). The
match was fine though.
Magnus
says it’s his time.
Anderson
goes downstairs with the mom giving a creepy wave as the door shuts.
Mr. sees something and says oh my god as we go to a break.
Anderson
looks at the room and it’s designed like an 8 year old’s. Shaw comes
in and does something as the cameraman leaves. The mom is still the
same kind of Stepford Wife that she was before and hugs her son as he
comes up from the basement. Creepy, creepy segment.
Beautiful
People vs. Gail Kim/Madison Rayne
Madison
cleans house to start and the Beautiful People are knocked to the
floor for a double dropkick through the ropes. Velvet
and Madison are back in the ring now for Madison’s crotch slam to the
mat before it’s back to Gail for some right hands and a clothesline.
Kim
misses a charge into the corner and it’s off to Angelina for some
shots to the face. She gets caught in the corner for Gail’s running
cross body to the ribs though and everything breaks down.
Back
in for a leg choke from Gail to make Angelina look annoyed. Sky’s
distraction breaks up the hold and Angelina grabs a sleeper, only to
have Gail come out with a backbreaker. Rayne comes back in for a bad
looking enziguri as the crowd goes SILENT. Not for a botch or
anything but because they just don’t seem interested. Thankfully
Angelina gets the hint and rolls up Madison with a handful of tights
for the pin at 5:00.
Rating: D.
The crowd told the whole story here. There was just nothing
interesting going on out there and the people didn’t care. It’s the
same story we’ve seen about 8,000 times now in this division and
nothing has changed at all. The Beautiful People aren’t interesting
as there’s no one to fight them because TNA can’t make new stars for
this division. Where was Brittany either?
Knux
is back at the carnival with I think his ex-girlfriend. He says he
has to go back to Impact because it’s what he does best. She’ll be
supportive of him for the first time, but says she’s going with him.
Abyss says he lost
sight of the one person who cares about him and tonight is for him.
The Wolves want the Tag Team Titles. It’s a handicap
match with Zema Ion joining the Bro Mans.
We run down the PPV card.
Magnus vs. Abyss
Eric Young comes out for commentary and if Abyss wins he
gets a full time job. Abyss takes him into the corner to start and
nails some clotheslines before launching the Brit to the floor. Back
with Magnus working on the leg as Abyss is supposed to be a face
after being all violent for so many weeks. The leg is wrapped around
the post but Abyss grabs him by the throat…..and Magnus kicks him
low for the DQ at 7:40.
Rating: D. Well
that….happened. It’s angle advancement but much like the rest of
this show, the angles aren’t all that interesting. This was supposed
to be a big face turn for Abyss I think, but it really doesn’t work
when he spent the last few weeks trying to torture the new top face.
Post match Magnus
beats on him with a chair until Young comes down and gets beaten down
as well.
An ad for the fallout
show from Sacrifice eats up the last minute. Not an ad FOR THE PAY
PER VIEW mind you, but an ad for the TV show you just watched.
Overall Rating: D. This was a really boring show.
That’s the best word to describe it as almost nothing on here made
me want to watch another show going forward. It’s a bunch of ideas
we’ve seen before with a lot of the same characters and nothing that
has been made better by changing around the faces. Sacrifices just
does not need to be a PPV as TNA currently feels like a bunch of old
ideas thrown into a blender and put on mix to see if it works better
if you twist everything around. Shockingly enough, it’s not working.
Results
Kurt Angle b. Rockstar
– Ankle lock
Bobby Lashley b. Kenny
King via countout
MVP b. Austin Aries –
Drive By
Bobby Roode/James Storm
b. Gunner/Bully Ray – Last Call to Gunner
Beautiful People b.
Madison Rayne/Gail Kim – Rollup to Rayne
Abyss b. Magnus via DQ
when Magnus kicked Abyss low
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