Wrestlemania Mailbag

OH MY GOD you’d think it was Wrestlemania weekend or something given that I can’t clear out my inbox fast enough today.  THIS IS VALUABLE GOAT SIMULATOR TIME.  OK, let’s hit ‘em up quick style!

Since WWE has somehow managed to make Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar the least interesting “main event” match on the WrestleMania card, let’s look ahead to next year, just for the hell of it.
Presuming Taker-Sting is on the agenda (if Sting does some DDPYoga or something and can actually, ya know, still wrestle), should they go ahead and start hyping it the night after WrestleMania?  Spend the entire show hyping that The Undertaker might be announcing his retirement.  Have him come out in the final segment and say that now that he’s finally defeated Brock Lesnar, he’s beaten everybody that there is to beat.  But before he actually says it’s over, the lights go off and Sting shows up in the rafters of the arena.  He points a bat at Taker, they stare at each other menacingly from afar with Sting’s old school 1997 music playing, and the slow build begins.
And then of course, Triple H comes out and Pedigrees them both.  Thoughts?

Yeah, I’m pretty sure Sting debuts the night after WM as the big surprise of the year, and they start that build.  Honestly I’m not sure what kind of a character Sting is going to do – Super-Serious Bat-Wielding Crow Sting or Wacky Middle Aged Crazy Terry Funk Joker Sting.  I’d lean towards having him reprise the silent Crow deal because a) It’s cooler and b) His promos are ass. 

Good evening Mr. Keith.  Might be a lengthy e-mail, my apologies in advance.  Buffalo resident here and it seems we’re are going through the longest winter ever, I decided to waste some time and research something that’s been bugging me since it aired.  And that is, Wrestlemania 29.  Besides the boring Trips/Brock match, the lazy booking of the Cena/Rock match & whoever gave a rats ass about swagger/del rio, I always felt something was off throughout the whole show, the timing, WWE to me just did not seem to have their shit together as i sat through the whole event live. If i dug deeper I wouldn’t be surprised if there is also a argument for WM27 & 28, but i’ll start with 29.  Here it goes: Using my trusty PS3 Display clock, this show runs actually 3hrs, 48mins, so 12 mins shaved off.  Comparing match times to wikipedia, most, if not all, are accurate or within seconds of being the same.  I’ll approximate some times to not nit pick. Total Time of wrestling(Bell to Bell times): Approx 114:42  minutes, so nearly right on the nose of being 50% of total tv time, but something has to be said of roughly 14 mins match (8 matches) average. It did seem to me that there wasn’t nearly enough actual wrestling on the biggest show of the year Total Rock/Cena Promo Time: approx: 15:24,  3 promos and also i’m including the over 6 minutes respectfest after their match. Total Time of other video Promos: approx: 15:43, so about on par with all the rock/cena from above Total Time of Entrances: approx: 42:19, seems a lot, and Swagger didn’t even get one! Remaining Misc: approx: 39:25, this is a pileup of all the crowd shots, commentators talking, P. DIddy, HOF, National guard, Special Olympics etc. etc. So, besides the obvious jacking off to Rock/Cena throughout, even though if you’ve seen it you ALREADY BOUGHT THE PPV, or BOUGHT A TICKET!, they scrapped America the Beautiful, no SuperCena or Ultra Rock entrance, probably a bunch of other things i’m forgetting, is it just me or was wwe just really off that night with the overall timing, coordination and structure of their show?  And if so, I def. see the same problem in the past couple Rumbles and Manias.  Thank you, I hope never to feel the urge to do this again. 

Yeah, I’m with you.  It’s not just WM either, whoever has been timing out their PPVs lately is doing a shit job and it’s really detracting from the product.  The commercials and OH WE’RE SO CIVIC-MINDED AND AWESOME video packages are totally out of hand and the matches tend to feel either too short or too long as a result.  That being said, I don’t mind the promo packages for the PPV we’re watching, because I find that I go back and watch, say, Bullshit Brigade 2005, and have no fucking clue why Batista hates JBL or whatever and the packages can be really helpful to bring me up to speed again.  But especially on RAW they’re all over the place and whoever’s directing really needs a refresher in how to build things so that the third hour doesn’t drag so horribly.

Hi Scott,
Hope all is well!
With WrestleMania around the corner, I was reminded of a lingering question I’ve had about WM X for years.
We’ve all heard the story about Shawn and Razor running too long, and bumping that eight-man tag off the card. My question though, is how long were they MEANT to go? As is, the match is about 18 minutes – which is far from long. Assuming the eight-man tag was scheduled for 5 plus entrances, were they actually expecting them to get it done in 10?

It was a different time.  But I think there was issues with entrances running too long and stuff as well, not just that Shawn and Razor went long in the body of the match itself.  I’d guess they were scheduled for 14 because that’s about what the first Shawn-Bret ladder match was. 

I was reading an article on WWE.com recently saying that the Undertaker’s Wrestlemania Streak is impressive, but what’s even more impressive is Undertaker’s CONSECUTIVE WrestleMania Streak, meaning he has wrestled every WrestleMania from Wrestlemania 17-30.  This would beat Bret Hart’s record of 12 (WM 2-13).  I originally thought “Wow, that is impressive” but then I remembered that Bret was active throughout his streak, meaning he was healthy and did not wrestle part time.  So Bret’s streak of 12 consecutive manias is much more meaningful. But then I thought “What about my man KANE?” He has wrestled every Wrestlemania from 14-30, which would make his streak 17!  17 years, working full time for WWE and always being showcased on the biggest card of the year.  That’s EXTREMELY impressive and should be a real feather in the cap of the Future Hall of Famer and Libertarian Presidential Candidate. So why didn’t wwe.com mention Kane’s streak? Because Kane and RVD got BUMPED from WrestleMania 19 for the Miller Lite Catfight Girls (whatever that was) and technically wrestled a ‘preliminary match’ on Sunday Night HeAt. Granted, I’m a Kane mark, but doesn’t this piss everyone off?  Biggest WrestleMania travesty hands down.  And DON’T bring up Bryan vs. Sheamus 1 or 2.  That kid’s doing just fine now. (Also, Jim Johnston.  WWE Hall of Fame.  Yay or Nay?  Thanks Scott.)

Well you have to put Jimmy Hart in as well then.  And I’ll give Kane a pass and allow the 19 one to be called a WM appearance.  I’m generous that way. 

Hey Scott, It’s the greatest week of the year and time for all of us fans to reflect on what Sunday means to us. I look back on how I discovered WrestleMania, my favorite memories, and who I’ve come to call “Mr. WrestleMania.” http://temple-news.com/arts/corrigan-reminiscing-wrestlemania/ Thanks!

OK then.