Impact Wrestling – December 26, 2013

Impact
Wrestling
Date:
December 26, 2013
Location:
Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators:
Mike Tenay, Taz
Reviewed by Tommy Hall
We
close out the year tonight with the fallout from last week’s Final
Resolution which saw Magnus (in theory) join up with Dixie as the new
corporate champion. This should mean the imminent return of AJ
Styles and the unification match for the two titles. It should also
be interesting to see if TNA starts having more matches during the
show or sticks with around three plus a lot of talking. Let’s get to
it.

After
the usual recap of last week’s events, here’s Spud in the ring to get
things going. He gives a very elaborate introduction for someone
very important to all of us: Dixie Carter. She talks about how great
the last seven days have been and talks about how Santa didn’t
deliver the title to Jeff Hardy like the fans wanted him to. That
doesn’t matter though because the right man wanted. The fans sound
like they want AJ.
Dixie
has a major announcement that she’s been hyping up all week on social
media but Jeff Hardy cuts her off. Jeff has some complaints to make
but Dixie cuts him off. The fans aren’t interested in what Jeff has
to say so he threatens Spud for what he did to Jeff last week. Spud
goes all pompous Brit on Jeff and orders him out of the ring. Spud
is sent into the corner but EC3 runs out to jump Hardy, knocking him
to the floor. Dixie loads up the announcement but here’s Sting to
interrupt as well.
Carter
and Spud roll to the floor like proper cowardly heels should and
Sting grabs the mic. He’s tired of entitled pipsqueaks getting
everything they want, so Sting isn’t leaving until both he and the
fans get what they want: Sting beating the tar out of Ethan Carter.
The Icon wants Carter/Spud vs. Sting/Hardy but Dixie says no way.
Dixie says she’ll give Sting a tag match but doesn’t say who is in
it. Her music comes on but she wants to make her announcement. The
music keeps going as we take a break.
Back
with Dixie trying to make the announcement again but this time Gunner
interrupts. Gunner wants his title shot right now but Dixie turns
him down because Magnus is in England. Gunner grabs the mic from
Dixie and says to let Magnus know that the cash-in is coming sooner
rather than later. Dixie tries for I think the fourth time to make
the announcement but here’s James Storm to interrupt this time.
James thinks Gunner owes him something but Gunner disagrees.
Storm
talks about Gunner costing him the match against Bobby Roode when
Storm asked him to. Gunner says he did it for Storm’s own good
because Storm was in a bar fight the night before. Storm says that
may be true but he wants to know who told Roode about the bar fight.
James thinks Gunner is the stooge and wants a match for that case
tonight. Dixie says ok because Gunner interrupted her. She’s not
ready for the announcement though so everyone has to wait for later.
Gunner
vs. James Storm
For
the Feast or Fired case. They shove each other to start until Gunner
sends Storm into the corner but walks into a headlock takeover.
Gunner shoves him into the corner again but Storm hits a quick
enziguri from the apron. A running forearm gets two on Gunner and a
facebuster gets the same. Gunner gets in a knee lift to the ribs and
puts on a quickly broken chinlock as the announcers talk about the
announcement. Storm comes back with a tackle/spear to send both guys
out to the floor…..for a VERY fast double countout at 4:58.
Rating:
D. This was all about extending
the feud which is the right idea. I’d assume we’re headed for a
gimmick match at Genesis to blow this off so the ending makes sense.
That doesn’t mean it was executed well at all though as the ten count
took maybe five seconds and we didn’t see any of the count until the
end.
They
fight to the back as referees fail to pull them apart.
Brooke
is annoyed at Bully Ray for annoying her since he doesn’t seem to
want her anymore. That’s fine with her as she’ll just go air all his
dirty secrets in the ring. Bully says her name but that’s it.
Magnus
talks about all the bad characters he’s been given over the years
which counts as paying dues. He talks about being called the future,
meaning he’s not ready yet “because some people weren’t ready to
hang it up yet, BROTHER”. This felt like part of a shoot
interview.
Here’s
Brooke to demand answers from Bully. She understands that he’s mad
at her for throwing the hammer, but she’s not accepting full blame
for everything. Here’s Ray in a hoodie and sunglasses as Brooke
insists that this can be fixed. It’s neither of their faults that
Aces and 8’s ended but Ray turns his back on her. Brooke yells at
him for not respecting her and reminds him that Ray said throw the
hammer. Ray was supposed to be her ticket to the big time but now
he’s that weird high school kid that has no friends.
Brooke
says she’s no one’s property and that she’s done but Ray grabs her
arm. Ray says she’s done when he’s done with her but he doesn’t
blame her for anything. After all, she’s not the smartest girl in
the world but she was there for certain uses. She wasn’t even that
good at those things thought and sometimes he would close his eyes
and think of Brooke #1.
He
could piledrive her right now but instead he’s going to use her to
spread his word. She knows how evil he can be, so she can let
everyone know what’s in store for them. Ray takes off the glasses
and says it’s going to be a lot worse as ominous music plays. He’s
done with her.
Joseph
Park is scared to have a Monster’s Ball match.
Magnus
thinks being in the Main Event Mafia was the way the Mafia kept him
on a leash.
Ethan
tries to get out of the tag match but Dixie says she has them
covered.
We
recap Park’s revelation that he’s Abyss.
Park
is scared but Young says believe in himself. Eric says hit the music
and it’s the old Abyss song. He gives Park Janice to make him feel
better.
Joseph
Park vs. Bad Influence
Monster’s
Ball, meaning anything goes with weapons at ringside. Park has
Janice while the team grabs a kendo stick and crutch. Bad Influence
surrounds Park but he swings Janice…and drops it, allowing the
heels to score with shots to the ribs and back. Park gets taken down
and Kaz hits a backsplash before more weapons are thrown inside. Kaz
throws in a trash can which hits Park in the head but there’s no
blood yet. Daniels stomps on Park in the corner and chokes him with
a cord.
Kaz
loads up a chair shot but Daniels stops him to prevent blood. Park
comes back with his usual basic offense and picks up a kendo stick.
Kaz gets in a cheap shot with a trashcan lid though and Bad Influence
takes over again. They head outside and send Park into the steps but
have to stop and check for blood again. Back inside and Park
backdrops Daniels over the top before splashing a trashcan lid into
Kaz.
There’s
a Boston crab on Kaz’s damaged ribs but Daniels comes back in with a
crutch to break the hold. Eric Young finally comes out for some
moral support but Park says he needs help. Young loads up some right
hands to Park’s head but Bad Influence makes the save. Kaz tries a
kendo stick shot but Park shoves him out of the way to take the shot
to the forehead. We’ve got blood, kendo stick shots, Shock Treatment
to Kaz, Black Hole Slam to Daniels for the pin at 10:24.
Rating:
D. WAY too long for the end
result. This is the same idea they’ve been using for months now and
the fact that it’s taking Eric Young to get us there makes it all the
more annoying. The stuff with not letting Park get hit in the head
was smart so the match wasn’t a total loss. Just too long.
Jeff
Hardy is on the phone with his wife. He’s had a plan for a few weeks
and it goes down tonight.
Magnus
talks about the BFG Series being proof he could hang with anyone.
The loss to AJ was what changed him because he never wants to feel
that again. The win over Sting at BFG was the biggest win of his
career.
ODB
vs. Lei’D Tapa
Before
the match Gail tells Madison to stay out of her business. ODB can’t
slam her so she chops at Tapa instead. Tapa sends ODB into the
corner and slowly pounds away before kicking ODB in the face. ODB
avoids a middle rope seated senton (which would have missed if she
hadn’t moved) but still can’t drop Tapa with shoulder blocks. Gail
throws the title belt into the ring and pulls ODB’s hair to distract
her, allowing Tapa to hit the TKO for the pin at 4:16.
Rating:
D. They treated this as the
female version of the Colossal Jostle but even that match looked
great by comparison. I have no idea who TNA thinks cares about
either of these girls but the fans here didn’t seem interested in
them at all. Madison at least has some appeal to her while ODB is
just loud and unpleasant.
Gail
says that was a lesson for Madison.
Sabin
and Velvet have a nice moment in the back. Chris has an X Title
match next week and he blames Velvet for losing the title in the
first place. She doesn’t think she can help him so he says he’ll
find a girl that can.
Magnus
talks about having Dixie in his corner and how their partnership will
last for years.
Ethan
Carter III/Rockstar Spud vs. Sting/Jeff Hardy
Before
the match Dixie makes her announcement: next week there’s a
coronation. Oh and this will be a tag match, but it’s a tag team
handicap match.
Ethan
Carter III/Rockstar Spud/Bro Mans vs. Sting/Jeff Hardy
Carter
and Spud want nothing to do with Sting so they both tag out with
Jesse eventually getting the start. Sting hiptosses him down but
Zema Ion grabs Sting’s leg to get an advantage. Carter comes in but
Sting gets up so it’s off to Robbie before any contact is made. Jeff
comes in with a middle rope splash for two and a backdrop to send
Robbie out to the floor. Carter accidentally tackles Godderz to the
floor, setting up a dive (with Sting as a springboard) to take out
all four heels at once.
The
four of them pull Jeff down and stomp away for their first advantage
as we take a break. Back with Godderz getting two off a knee to the
ribs. A powerslam gets the same and it’s back to Robbie who gets two
off a clothesline. Jesse comes back in for a half crab and Sting is
suckered in, allowing a four man beatdown on Hardy. Carter mocks
Sting with a Stinger Splash but Jeff comes back with a jawbreaker.
Sting comes in and cleans house, even with Spud on his back in an
impressive feat. Sting keeps beating everyone up but Carter grabs a
rollup for the clean pin at 13:30. Taz said he had tights but I
didn’t see them.
Rating:
D+. This was another dull match
in a string of them tonight. It’s not like Sting and Hardy got
screwed over, or at least it didn’t come off like they did. The
match made the tag champions look like jobbers which is a step
backward for them after how much better they’ve looked lately.
Boring match here and I don’t know what it accomplished.
Post
match Hardy gets on the mic and thanks Sting for getting him into the
business. Last week he was the better man but lost because of the
politics. The fans chant for Hardy but he says the fight’s all gone.
This was his last match in TNA and he’s leaving until the sun shines
on this dark kingdom. Hardy says he loves the Creatures, takes off
his shirt, and leaves.
Overall
Rating:
D. Well they’re back to
boring already. Save for the decent promo work from Magnus, there
was nothing to see here. We’re still just waiting for AJ to come
back which will probably be at the coronation next week. That
doesn’t make this week any better though as we had four dull or short
matches which makes for a LONG two hour show.
Results
James
Storm vs. Gunner went to a double countout
Joseph
Park b. Bad Influence – Black Hole Slam to Daniels
Lei’D
Tapa b. ODB – TKO
Bro
Mans/Rockstar Spud/Ethan Carter III b. Sting/Jeff Hardy – Rollup to
Sting
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