Impact Wrestling – December 5, 2013

December 5, 2013
Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Mike Tenay, Tazz
Reviewed by Tommy Hall
a big night tonight as we have the semi-finals of the world title
tournament. The two matches scheduled are Jeff Hardy vs. Bobby Roode
in a tables match and Magnus vs. Kurt Angle in a last man standing
match. The winners will face off in two weeks for the title in a
gimmick match to be announced. At this point the question is who
gets to face AJ Styles when he returns for the champion vs. champion
match. Let’s get to it.

opening video looks like a scene out of a post apocalyptic thriller
with a WAY higher budget than TNA usually has. It’s another recap of
the tournament.
Kurt Angle with something to say. Last week was Thanksgiving and
he’s very thankful for his health, his family, and the fans’ support
as he tries to get into the Hall of Fame. Winning the title is the
path for him to prove himself and Austin Aries gave him the fight of
his life in the last round. However, now he has to face Magnus so
the Brit needs to come out here.
asks Magnus what happened last week when Magnus left him alone four
on one. Magnus talks about getting hurt in a match against Samoa Joe
and getting into the tag match anyway. Magnus hurt his knee and
that’s all there is to it. Angle says champions fight through
injuries and he has a knee injury at the moment to prove it.
asks Magnus if he has the heart to be a champion. Magnus says he
does along with the hunger to go through everyone he has to in order
to become champion for the first time. He’ll prove that to Angle
tonight. Angle says they may be friends, but he has to go through
Magnus, Hardy and Roode to become champion.
brings out Roode who says he has the killer instinct you need to be a
world champion. We’ve already seen what Roode will do to Storm to
become champion, so next up is Jeff Hardy. If he’ll do that to
Storm, imagine what he’ll do to Hardy. Roode says Magnus will never
be a world champion. Magnus goes for Roode but Angle holds him back.
Hardy comes out to start the tables match right now.
World Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Jeff Hardy vs. Bobby Roode
match. The fans are naturally behind Hardy who starts off with some
right hands and the legdrop between the legs. Hardy sends him into
the corner and dropkicks Roode in the back before bringing in a
table. Bobby uses the breather to get in a shot of his own and sets
up the table in the corner. A clothesline puts Hardy down but he
stops a charging Roode with an elbow in the corner. The comeback is
very short lived though as Hardy’s Whisper in the Wind only hits mat.
They fight to the apron and Hardy kicks Roode in the face, putting
both of them through the table and sending us to a beak as this is
figured out.
with the match continuing and Roode in control, only to be caught by
a quick Twist of Fate, knocking him onto the table. Jeff goes up for
the Swanton but Roode rolls off the table before Jeff jumps. That’s
cool with Hardy as he dives over the table and hits the Swanton
anyway to keep control. Hardy loads up a superplex but gets crotched
on the top rope in a counter. Roode tires to suplex him over the top
and through another table at ringside, only to be kicked in the chest
to put Roode through the table at 14:00.
C. This was fine. Roode is
pretty solidly in the JBL role as his resume is strong enough to make
a win over him mean something but he’s not likely to be the top guy
ever again. Jeff is a good face to send into the title match as he’s
over with the fans and still able to put on good matches.
Carter III gets his makeup applied and says he’s calling out a first
ballot Hall of Famer tonight.
agent has sent Dixie a letter saying the title will be back soon.
Carter is here to call out a legend who has been in the ring with the
likes of Andre the Giant, Hulk Hogan and Bret Hart. Therefore,
here’s his opponent: Earl Hebner. Hebner says he isn’t a wrestler
but Carter says his aunt is Earl’s boss. There’s even going to be a
special referee: Earl’s son Brian. Carter says Earl is going to lay
down so his worthless son can count 1-2-3. Earl won’t do it so Ethan
threatens him until he does it.
Carter III vs. Earl Hebner
takes his time and puts a finger on Earl’s chest for the pin at 48
makes Brian roll Earl out of the ring and raise Ethan’s hand.
recap the Bad Influence vs. Park/Young feud and Bad Influence trying
to convince Park that he’s Abyss.
see Christy and Sam Shaw on their date. Christy gets up for a second
and Shaw is somewhat obsessed with a knife. The waiter comes for the
check and Shaw threatens to gouge his eyes out if he catches the
waiter looking at Christy again. Christy comes back and they leave
recapping AJ going around the world to defend the title.
gets a delivery: flowers. The note says it’s from a fan so Dixie
yells at the aide who delivered them.
says he should be in the title match because you shouldn’t lose a
wrestling match for falling through a table.
gives a speech to some of the roster. She has a new great idea:
Feast or Fired. It’s TNA’s version of MITB. There are four cases:
one containing a world, tag team or X-Division title shot each and
the last containing a pink slip. You get a case, you win whatever is
inside of it.
Bad Influence with an envelope containing some results. Before they
can go into it, here’s Joseph Park to interrupt. Park gets serious
and tells them they need to stop because they’ve won. Maybe Park
never should have been in TNA and maybe he’s just an attorney. Kaz
thinks that’s funny and says they have information. Park snatches
the envelope from them and rips it up. Daniels thinks it’s funny and
Kaz says all that proves is Park can rip apart an envelope.
get a video showing Bad Influence at Park’s law offices to find them
completely empty. They ask the secretary who says the offices used
to belong to a doctor but he moved out months ago. Daniels shows her
Park’s business card and apparently the law offices closed about 13
years ago.
in the arena, Daniels wants to know what Park has been doing for
thirteen years. Park gets nervous and again asks them to drop this.
Kaz spits at Park and calls him a liar before the beatdown commences.
Eric Young makes the save and tells Bad Influence that if they keep
knocking on the devil’s door, the devil is going to answer. Young
makes a tag match next week but Park isn’t sure.
gives another of his speeches to Magnus and says he’s looking forward
to the main event tonight.
main assistant Spud is told the delivery man is here.
vs. James Storm/Gunner
Zema Ion is DJ for the champions and gets in a great line with
“Ladies remember these names because you’ll be screaming them
later!” Storm throws Jesse around with ease to start before it’s
off to Gunner for the same on Robbie. Zema keeps playing sound
effects on the turntables. Gunner pounds away on Robbie in the
corner but Jesse’s interference lets the champions take over. Jesse
gets two off a dropkick but Gunner pretty easily tags out to Storm.
The superkick lays out Jesse but Robbie spits beer at Gunner. The
tattooed one goes into a rage and he knocks the referee down for the
DQ at 4:50.
D+. This was about advancing
the Gunner/Storm split which doesn’t quite work when they were only a
team for about seven months. Storm really needs to get out of the
tag division because there’s absolutely nothing left for him to do
there. Gunner could get a nice rub out of this though.
tries to go in to see Angle but Spud stops him. Sting makes fun of
Spud’s job title and is told that Dixie wants him out. If Dixie
wants him to leave, come tell him to his face. Spud goes to see the
delivery man and Sting wants to know what’s going on around here.
Kim and her husband say don’t send her any more challengers until you
have someone good.
Sabin is looking in a mirror while Velvet Sky checks her hair. It’s
Sabin vs. Aries next week for the X Title. Velvet asks if she looks
good and Sabin picks up the belt and says they look good.
Kim vs. Laura Dennis
what I can find, Dennis is an indy wrestler named Cherry Bomb who has
worked in Shimmer, CZW and ROH. Gail runs her over to start and
sends Laura into the corner for a running cross body. Kim talks a
lot of trash but gets slapped in the face. Some clotheslines put Kim
down and a running forearm gets two but Gail gets some feet up in the
corner. Eat Defeat gets the pin at 3:02.
D. We need to get to Tapa
crushing Kim already so we can stop caring about either of them at
all. These one off girls aren’t helping the division’s major problem
at all but it’s better than seeing the same matches over and over
again. This was just a squash though which doesn’t do anything for
match Gail hits another Eat Defeat but before Tapa can beat up Dennis
again, ODB comes out for the save. Tapa is knocked to the floor and
ODB slaps her chest.
World Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Kurt Angle vs. Magnus
man standing. Angle takes him into the corner to start but Magnus
counters into an armbreaker followed by a headlock. Back up and
Magnus pounds away to drive Angle into the corner, only to have a
double clothesline put both guys down. They slug it out some more
and we take a break.
with…..Dixie receiving the package she’s been waiting for all
night. We go back to the arena to see Angle taken down by something
we don’t see for a five count. Angle comes back with five Rolling
Germans but Magnus gets up at five. Kurt spears Magnus to the floor
but both guys are up by 8. Magnus tries to get back in but has to
elbow out of the German suplex off the apron.
elbow drop off the apron has Kurt in trouble but he gets up at nine.
Back in and Angle hits a quick snap suplex but misses the moonsault.
Magnus picks him up and hits a modified Rock Bottom (arm around the
ribs instead of the chest) and the top rope elbow gets nine. Angle
accidentally takes out the referee before hitting the Angle Slam.
Cue Roode with a clothesline to the back of Kurt’s head and an
Attitude Adjustment. Magnus gets back up but Angle can’t make the
ten count at 15:23.
C+. Not great here but it could
have been much worse. Angle is great in the role of guy you can
throw out there for a good match and to put someone over at any time.
It wasn’t a great match but it advances Roode vs. Angle which needs
to end after the next match. Good match here but not great.
saves Angle and wishes Magnus luck with a handshake.
opens the box and finds a toy belt.
get a video from AJ, saying Dixie needs to come to Georgia if she
wants the belt back.
B-. This was one of
TNA’s better shows in a long time. The matches were good, but more
importantly than that the stories felt like they were important and
got the time that they needed to develop. Nothing came off as stupid
or like a waste of time and those are things that have been plaguing
TNA for months now.
Hardy b. Bobby Roode – Hardy kicked Roode through a table.
Carter III b. Earl Hebner – Hebner laid down for Carter
b. Gunner/James Storm via DQ when Gunner shoved the referee
Kim b. Laura Dennis – Eat Defeat
b. Kurt Angle – Angle couldn’t answer the ten count
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