Impact Wrestling – September 26, 2013

Impact
Wrestling
Date:
September 26, 2013
Location:
Verizon Arena, Little Rock, Arkansas
Commentators:
Mike Tenay, Tazz
Reviewed by Tommy Hall
We’re
less than a month away from the biggest show of the year and somehow
the top heel is Dixie Carter. Bully Ray is busy with the rejects
known as Aces and 8’s while AJ Styles is being called Mr. Marginal by
a woman famous for having a husband named Surge and tweeting a lot.
But remember, everything is FINE in this company. Let’s get to it.

We
open with the usual recap of last week’s events.
Dixie
Carter arrives and blows Sting off, basically telling him to stay out
of her business.
Here
are Bully and Brooke to get things going. Bully says it’s not easy
to take the words out of his mouth but Dixie did it last week. He’s
been up every night wondering how he can beat AJ Styles since AJ won
the Series. Now it doesn’t matter though as Dixie is inside AJ’s
head. AJ should be kissing the ground Dixie walks on for making him
phenomenal. Ray stops to ask if we know who he is and here are the
remaining Aces and 8’s.
Knux
does the talking and says the same thing he said last week: Ray needs
to stop thinking about his ho and start thinking about his bros. Ray
says he’s the president and the rest of their patches should just say
lackey. They need to fall in line and remember what he did to the
former members of this club. Tonight it’s Main Event Mafia vs. the
three of them and if an Ace loses, they’re out of the club.
Joseph
Park is shaving while singing Sweet Caroline when Eric Young and ODB
come in. Eric says Park needs to use a safety razor to prevent the
civilians in the back.
Bro
Mans/Gail Kim vs. ODB/Eric Young/Joseph Park
This
is a result of Robbie getting beaten by both Young and Park in a
combined 12 seconds last week. The girls start but it’s off to
Robbie vs. Joseph before there’s any contact. Robbie can’t slam
Joseph so Park slams him down for one instead. Jesse and Gail slow
Joseph down before the Mans send him into the buckle. Jesse hits a
good looking dropkick and avoids a seated senton from the big man.
Robbie’s middle rope elbow gets two but Park comes back with
something resembling a Samoan drop.
The
referee misses the hot tag to Eric and it’s Gail in to get in some
cheap shots. Back to the guys who are clotheslined down by Joseph,
allowing for the hot tag to Eric for some house cleaning. Everything
breaks down and ODB sends Gail to the ramp. Robbie pulls back to hit
ODB so she shoves his face into her chest. Eric hits a Death Valley
Driver on Jesse, setting up a middle rope splash from Park, a top
rope elbow from Eric and a splash from ODB for the pin at 6:26.
Rating:
D. WAY too long here for the
story they were telling as there was nothing going on out there.
Park cleaned house, Park got beaten down, Park made the hot tag, ODB
breast joke, pin. Somehow that took nearly seven minutes to get
through. I’m over the in your face comedy stuff with ODB, Park and
Young but they’re clearly not going anywhere.
Austin
Aries says he’ll explain his future plans in the ring.
Hulk
Hogan says he’ll fix everything.
Here’s
Aries with something to say. He says it was just a year ago when he
was headlining Bound For Glory and even though he’s not doing that
this year, he’s still the main eventer. This brings out…..Kenny
King? Kenny says he’s tired of hearing everything Aries is talking
about when it was Kenny King making headlines last year when he
became X-Division Champion. Then the headlines changed to King being
ripped off by Frail Sabin. He was ready to get his belt back but
then someone got in the Manik costume and stole the X-Division Title.

That
would be Austin Aries, who hasn’t been the future or Generation Next
(ROH reference) in about ten years. Now it’s Kenny King’s time but
Aries cuts to the chase by saying he’s ready right now. King says
that just like Hilary Clinton says before she takes her clothes off,
“you don’t want none of this”, before decking Aries. Austin
fights him off and says let’s do it right now so here’s a referee.
Aries doesn’t wait and dives at King on the ramp to start the match
after a break.
Austin
Aries vs. Kenny King
Back
with Aries pounding away on the floor before heading back inside,
only to be taken down by a leg drop and caught with a jumping elbow
in the corner. King is busted open BAD, likely off something on the
floor. Aries comes back with chops and an atomic drop before rolling
over King’s back to set up a release STO. The pendulum elbow but
King spins out of the brainbuster. Aries loads up the 450 but King
comes back with a super Tazplex for two. Austin shrugs it off and
hits the running dropkick and the brainbuster for the pin at 5:00.
Rating:
C. This was fine with both guys
getting to show off a bit out there. I’m getting curious as to what
Aries is going to do at the PPV as he really doesn’t have anything
going on right now, though that could be said about a lot of big
names. King could be worth something in the X-Division if there was
enough competition to fight him.
Lei’D
Tapa is coming. It still should have been Ivelisse.
Chris
Sabin brags to Austin Aries about being greater than the greatest man
that ever lived. Velvet still looks uncomfortable. Sabin and Velvet
leaves and Aries says he’d like to test Sabin’s theory.
We
recap the end of Ray/Aces and 8’s from earlier.
The
Mafia is getting ready but Magnus is frustrated by EGO. Sting tells
him to calm down and focus on the bikers tonight.
We
get a quick recap of AJ vs. Dixie from last week.
Here’s
Hogan to make everything better while also taking a bunch of money
and not really improving anything. Hogan talks about being here for
about four years now and being GM, meaning he’s in charge of the day
to day operations of this show. You never air your dirty laundry in
public, and that’s what’s happening with Dixie and AJ. The fans seem
to think AJ Styles should stick around and Hogan wants AJ out here to
hear that himself. No one comes out so Hogan says we’ll do this
later.
Kurt
Angle is back at BFG.
Someone
named ETHAN is coming.
X-Division
Title: Manik vs. Chris Sabin
Manik
is defending and gets a quick two off a cross body. Sabin jumps over
him in the corner but goes down grabbing his knee. Sabin limps
around the ring and leans on Velvet for help, allowing Manik to
become the stupidest man in wrestling by falling for it. The
distraction lets Sabin pop up to the apron and kick Manik in the face
to take over. Back in and Manik jumps over Sabin in the corner
before putting on something like a Sharpshooter’s mentally disabled
cousin.
A
middle rope missile dropkick staggers Chris before Manik busts out
kicking combination #6 and a standing flip attack gets two. Velvet’s
distraction lets Chris get two off a rollup but Manik catapults Chris
into the corner. Back to the same leg lock from earlier from the
champion but Chris reaches out for the ropes, only to grab Velvet’s
hands. He drags her inside but the distraction lets Manik counter a
rollup into a pinning combination for the pin at 5:43.
Rating:
C+. I just don’t get the appeal
of Manik. He’s fine in the ring and does some nice stuff but I don’t
get his popularity. The leg stuff was smart here and it furthered
Sabin’s heel turn, but the match wasn’t much better than average.
Also, wasn’t Jeff Hardy involved in this feud?
Sabin
pounds on Manik until Aries makes the save. Velvet looks shocked at
what Chris was doing.
Garrett
Bischoff tells Aces and 8’s to keep it together. Knux is ready to
go.
Kurt
Angle is still back at BFG. That hasn’t changed in the last 20
minutes. Here’s the same video in case you were confused though.
EGO
thinks they should be in the Hall of Fame and suggest they should
make sure Magnus loses again tonight. Bad Intentions laughs
maniacally but Roode just stares at them, refusing to join in.
Daniels: “That’s how villains laugh. Come on Bobby.” Roode
walks away. Funny stuff.
Main
Event Mafia vs. Aces and 8’s
If
the Aces lose, whomever loses the fall is gone. Magnus pounds away
on Knux to start but Garrett comes in to be suplexed. Knux and
Brisco immediately dive in for the save and everything breaks down.
Cue EGO to beat up Magnus who is left holding his knee as, making it
3-2 for the time being.
Back
with Sting still in trouble and Magnus not on the apron. Knux chokes
on Sting a bit and it’s off to Brisco for a chinlock. Sting finally
fights up and dropkicks Wes down and there’s the hot tag to Joe as
the Aces are all taken down. The backsplash gets two on Brisco and
everything breaks down. The Stinger Splash crushes the bikers and
there’s the Clutch on Brisco for the submission at 10:07.
Rating:
C. The match was ok but it
illustrates the problem with the remaining bikers: even with an
advantage they were trampled by a pair of former world champions.
Why would anyone care if Brisco is gone? He’s done nothing at all
and is just another lackey. The match was fine but the conclusion
was never in doubt other than which Ace took the fall.
Post
match Ray comes out and demands Wes’ cut but he won’t give it up.
The fans chant NO, so Bully orders Garrett and Knux to take the cut
off of Wes. They hesitate so Ray yells at them and lays out Wes
himself with a clothesline and a piledriver. They’re told to take
the cut off again or Ray will piledriver Brisco a second time. Knux
and Bischoff begrudgingly do what Ray says. Bischoff holds the cut
out to Ray but Bully wants Knux to hand it to him. Ray tells Knux to
not let the people get in his head before handing him the cut. Knux
and Bischoff pick up Brisco….and we need to watch Hogan walking in
the back.
Hogan
is in the ring to call out AJ with his double theme music. Hogan has
a long term contract for AJ to sign but AJ doesn’t look happy. He
picks up the pen and finally signs, saying he’s TNA’s. This brings
out an overly smiley Dixie Carter who talks about why she signed
Hulk. He was brought in to open doors and that’s exactly what he
did. She’s very grateful but Hogan is just an employee. Dixie makes
fun of AJ Styles’ accent and rips up the contract, telling AJ can get
out of his ring.
AJ
leaves so Dixie goes on a rant about how no one knows how tough she
has it. She knows how tough it is because she’s in the 1% of people
that get to make decisions like she does. Yes, they’re seriously
going with this story. Hogan now has a week to fall in line and join
Team Dixie or else.
Overall
Rating:
C. I liked the show for
the most part tonight as the middle of the BFG card is starting to
come into focus. The elimination of an Ace is always a good thing as
they’ve been around for about a year too long at this point. The
Dixie/AJ/Hogan stuff makes me roll my eyes but at this point it’s
hard to complain about anything not named Aces and 8’s. Decent, but
not great show this week.
Results
ODB/Eric
Young/Joseph Park b. Bro Mans/Gail Kim – Splash to Jesse
Austin
Aries b. Kenny King – Brainbuster
Manik
b. Chris Sabin – Rollup
Main
Event Mafia b. Aces and 8’s – Koquina Clutch to Brisco
Remember
to check out my website at kbwrestlingreviews.com and pick up my new
e-book of Monday Nitro Reviews Volume I at Amazon at:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00FF492XM
And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:
http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6