CAW in Real Life

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From: Austin Burton
Date: Mon, Aug 19, 2013 at 6:12 AM
Subject: WWE “pet projects”

Every smart wrestling fan is an armchair booker, and all of us have certain wrestlers we like to watch succeed but we believe aren’t being booked correctly.

So let’s say you’re a WWE writer and they’re letting you choose any three acts on the roster — singles or tag teams, main eventers or mid-carders — to be your “pet projects.”

You can tweak their character’s nuances or give them a complete makeover. You can decide how they work in the ring (within their limits), how they work the mic, whether they’re a heel or face, who they’re feuding with, who they’re affiliated with, etc. Of course you’d have to collaborate with the rest of the creative team on some things and you could get vetoed if your ideas are too crazy. (Making Jinder Mahal the WWE champ anytime soon wouldn’t fly.) But within reason, you’re basically deciding how your guys are presented and how they’re booked.

Who would you pick, and what are some changes you’d make?

I’d make Cena heel, first and foremost. His character would be the BIGGEST douche on Earth. The total jock-stereotype. He’d say things like “Every wrestler you’ve ever loved, I beat’em. I probably made’em tap out. I did with a smile, too”, “Look at me. When I take my shirt off, women cheer. You chumps in the audience could save the world and maybe get a golf clap. Me? I’m so good looking that I get cheers just for being shirtless”. I’d have him be champ for at least a year, and then Punk would return to stop Cena from not only beating his record, but from continuing his reign of terror, and for revenge. As Cena would have done a major beat down on Punk early in his reign, as Cena knew Punk could have his number and wanted him out of commission. I’d then create a stable for Cena, where he’d only let the best looking & athletic people join.

Also, Cena & Punk write their own promos, and Cena has to take that title with him every where he goes. Treating it like it’s a SuperBowl ring, and constantly flaunting it in public.