I always enjoyed this show, and felt like it was buried amongst the crap that was 2003. So, why not a random review of a great show from your fearless leader, well, fearless assistant
to the leader.
announcer literally says this is an Austin and Bischoff Production. Austin said
he really dug doing the GM stuff on his DVD, which I wonder whether if that were
true of if he was trying to save face knowing he was just ruining his legacy.
Boyz vs. Chris Nowinski & Rodney Mack
was during Rodney’s White Boy Challenge, and apparently Nowinski is rolling
with him and Teddy as some sort of Uncle Ted or something. Thankfully, he’s
doing the brunt of the ring work, as he’s pretty damn decent, especially at one
point where he tears it up with Bubba. A pretty even match that saw the Dudleyz
hold the momentum near the end until Nowinski nailed Bubba in the back of the
head with this Cody Rhodes-like metal face mask, earning the pin. It’s a shame
that Chris had to retire so soon, I think he could have been something in this
hits Bubba with his Dr. Doom mask for the pin at 7:13 | ** Nothing worth
tracking down, but a perfectly fine opener.
JR talk about the Redneck Triathlon that’s going on between Austin and Bischoff
later tonight, and that one of the contests will be pie eating. The King says
it’s gonna be Poontang Pie. Yes. They’re gonna perform oral sex on women here
on PPV. Terri is hosting the first segment, which is a burping contest. Oh,
Terri. I will never be able to see her and not think Alli. Of course, the burps
are added in post, and they sure are hilarious. Because it’s burping! Chuck
Lorre saw this and thought “I could turn this style of sophisticated humor
into a TV show!” and thus, we got Big Bang Theory.
vs. Scott Steiner – for Stacy Keibler’s Managerial Services
gets a pretty big pop. Man alive the things a fucking catchphrase will earn
you. In the story here, Test is a sexist sleezeball and Scott is the better man
whom Stacy wants to be with. You know, as wrestling fans, we sure are asked to
suspend our disbelief a lot. Regardless, this could very well be Scott’s best
match while in the WWE. He worked babyface, getting his ass-kicked for a good
portion of the match, and the only offense he every really handed out were suplexes
and clotheslines, and not once did he win the lotto. Test served up straight
power offense maneuvers while he mocked both Scott and Stacy. The finish saw
Test take a swing at Scott with a chair, however he missed, it nailed the rope
which bounced back into his skull, at which point Steiner hit a reverse Russian
Leg Sweep for the pin. A damn fine match that delivered far more than I thought
hits a reverse Russian Leg Sweep for the pin at 6:27 | *** You know, it’s
worth tracking down to see Scott’s best WWE match
up is the Pie Eating contest. Bischoff has some hot chicks, and I wish they’d
just hurry up and get to him having to go down on Mae Young and get it over
with. It’s incredible how far away they are from things like this now a days.
footage from Judgment Day where Christian won the IC Title Battle Royal. He
cheated against final opponent, Booker T, which leads us to…
[C] vs. Booker T – WWE Intercontinental Championship
King makes a crack about Booker’s prison record, and The King says “Yeah,
there are some people who could have ended up in jail had certain situations
gone a certain way. *ahem*” The momentum is all Booker’s in this match,
crushing Christian with back-body drops, scissor kicks, and missile drop-kicks.
Only few spare moves, one of them being Booker’s Bookend, keep this from being
a total squash. Christian ends up hitting Booker for the DQ in order to keep
his strap. Shitty finish, and seriously more like a Main Event Squash than
wins via DQ at 7:55 | ** Decent, but it’s the first blemish on the show so
and Stone Cold come out for the Pie Eating. Oh my goodness, Stone Cold pulled a
ruse and Bischoff has to perform oral sex on Mae Young. I’m gonna shit my pants
from laughing so hard.
gets an interview. They do not enjoy America. I’m expecting them to take me on
a tour of ghettos so they can point out the crumbling buildings, and lackluster
Resistance vs. RVD & Kane [C] – World Tag Team Championship
thing is, any person who has done 10 seconds of research would see how much
better of a place France is than America. RVD gets a bit of offense in the
beginning, soon after Kane enters the fray and just destroys both of them until
RVD misses a summersault flip and nails Kane. This leads to a double chokeslam
on RVD for the pin and the titles. From what I’ve read during this era, these
guys were terrible, and the only reason they kept getting a push was because Sylvain
was the son of Patterson’s golfing buddy. Nepotism in wrestling? I am
displeased to hear of this. RVD and Kane sure had some odd, but well worth it
eats a double chokeslam for the pin at 5:49 | ** Far from a classic,
but helped the PPV going with another decent match that had some worthwhile
never liked Greenberg, and it made me sick that Jericho had to job to him in
2003. This one starts off with Goldberg tearing into Jericho, taking him down
with constant throws and power slams. Chris finally turns the tide when
Goldberg looks to spear him on the outside, but Chris side-steps, which sends
Bill crashing through the barrier in pretty incredible fashion. Chris is
immediately on him, working the shoulder. Goldberg eventually mounts a
comeback, only to stop short due to his shoulder. The crowd is about 60% Y2J
and 40% Goldberg. People really did not give a shit about Bill this time
around. Naturally, Goldberg wins this one, but Jericho carried him to one of
his all-time best matches. He actually had to tell a story this time around
that wasn’t the same ol’ shit he did in WCW.
hits the Jackhammer for the pin at 10:55 | ***1/2 worth looking up,
as it’s one of Goldberg’s all time bests. It gives this PPV another solid
a recap of the Shawn vs. Ric feud. It started when Shawn told Ric that he
couldn’t lay down for Triple H on Raw. So, at first it was babyface vs.
babyface, until Flair turned heel and claimed that Michaels was nothing but a
Flair wannabe. Really, it’s best this way.
Flair vs. Shawn Michaels
start off with some mat wrestling, and each time they’re pulled apart they
antagonize one another with slaps and pushes. Eventually while Shawn’s back is
turned, Ric gets the chop-block, then goes to work on his knee before putting
on the figure 4. Shawn eventually turns the tide and slaps on a figure 4 of his
own. Then, out of nowhere, Shawn goes outside to pull out a table for no
reason. He places Flair on top of it just as Randy Orton runs from the crowd,
only to eat a superkick. Shawn, not to be stopped, does a splash from the top
rope, turning in mid-air and driving Ric through it. Pretty spectacular,
although not enough to get the pin. Soon, the ref is down from an inadvertent
low-blow, Ric is down from Sweet Chin Music, and Randy is back up in time to
smash Shawn’s head with a steel chair, giving Flair the win. This is one of
those matches that’s never spoken of, and something I consider an underrated
gem. It’s another great match Flair had during his final run.
eats a chair and the pin at 14:18 | ***3/4 A hell of a match that’s
worth hunting down, and helps to put this PPV in a special class.
the stupid Redneck Triatholon ends with Stone Cold beating up Bischoff and throwing
him in a pig-pen. Yes, this is much better than just being retired.
footage of what happened between Nash and Triple H. They had a match at Judgment
Day where Triple H got himself disqualified by smashing Hebner with a sledge
hammer. This being, none of the refs want to take the job of Hell in a Cell,
thus bringing out Mick Foley.
Nash vs. Triple H [C] w/ special guest ref Mick Foley – World Heavyweight
Championship – Hell in a Cell
H opens up the match with a few punches, but that’s about all he gets before
Nash controls the match with back-drops on the outside, elbows, big boots to
the face, and steel chairs to the back. Triple H finally gets some momentum
right after he dodges a set of stairs that Nash threw at him. He soon bashes
Kevin in the head with a hammer, which doesn’t kill him. Making that the second
most hard-to-believe moment of the night, the first being that Scott Steiner
isn’t a creepy jerk who lists ‘date rape’ under his hobbies. Hunter soon finds
the mascot of the HIAC, the barbwire 2×4. Nash wrangles it from him, leveling
Triple H twice with it, busting him open the first time around. He then sets it
on the turnbuckle and drops him on it with snake eyes, pretty original spot.
Great near fall when Hunter is catapulted into the 2×4 on the turnbuckle, and
then jack-knifed. Hunter soon levels Nash with a sledge-hammer shot and
Pedigree for the win. Perhaps it’s because I’m so thirsty for something that’s
not the current sanitized product, but I was absolutely in love with this
match. I thought they tore the house down with weapons, plenty of blood, and
some brutal spots. These type of matches are sorely missed in wrestling today,
and are desperate for a comeback.
H hits the Pedigree and pins Nash at 21:01 | ****1/4 A fantastic
main event that capped off a great PPV. Definitely search for the match, as
it’s a Top 5 for Kevin Nash, and one of the few great ones from Triple H during
Showdown: Easy to see from the numbers that this is a solid PPV that belongs in
an elite class among the best B shows. The only major point deductions came
from the God-awful Stone Cold and Bischoff skits, but thankfully they were kept
to somewhat of a minimum. For those that just want the hits, make sure to track
down Flair/Shawn and HHH/Nash. Hell, while you’re at it why not check out
Goldberg/Jericho, simply to give some love towards Y2J’s busting ass in order
to make something happen with Goldeneye.
As always, much love to my editor, Steven Ferrari. He and I met when I was with a group of friends and we were trying to open up a summer camp. He was known as “Crazy” Steven, and warned us all that we were doomed. I listened, they didn’t.
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