Greetings, children of Elm Street.
Today is a question from me, and one I’m sure will provide some interesting stories.
Any near death experiences? I myself have only had one, thankfully.
I was 14 at the time, and I
live in Washington. One thing we have an abundance of is bridges
with rivers/swimming holes. So, my friend wants to go to one, and
although swimming in areas like this isn’t my thing, I venture along.
when you arrive, there’s a rope swing. However, you have to cross the
river to get to it, and the only part you can cross at has an EXTREMELY
strong current. If it catches you, it’ll drag you out to much deeper,
faster areas, and you’d probably be good and fucked. So, the way you get
across is walking very, very slowly, so you’re always planted on the
ground. Then, when you get to the otherside, there’s a giant rock with a
rope hanging down that you have to grab. Well, my friend and his
girlfriend make it, now it’s my turn.
I’d always had a fear of
places like this because my mom had a fear of places like this, heh.
She’s not the neurotic type, but the one place she never allowed me to
go was swimming holes like this. So, I lied and went anyway.
in the water, and it’s pretty goddamn cold. I take a few steps and can
feel the rocks that are on the bed shifting beneath my feet. Every time a
strong wave of current rushes by my legs I think it’s some sort of
fish, or tentacle or something ridiculous. Once I’m in the middle of the
lake, it’s about up to my armpits, and I’m anchored to the ground by a
thread. You know that ep of The Simpsons where Homer is Mr. Plow, and
he’s about to fall of the ledge, but changing the radio dial pulls him
back up? That’s about the difference that was keeping me from being
I’m almost to the rock, when for some reason I start to
panic. I don’t know if it’s because I was so close and wanted to get it
all over with, but either way I tried to move fast, and that was it.
BAM! The current takes me.
My friend screams “GRAB THE ROPE!”
Here it is, my only chance. I miss the fucking rope.
slowed down to a fucking crawl. All I could think was “I’m going to
die. This is it. I’m truly going to die. My mom is gonna be so mad at
I feel the current dragging me when all of a sudden I see
it. A second rope. It was extremely thin, about the thickness of twine
almost. It was against the rock, and damn near invisible.
hand shot out and grabbed it. With the current being so strong, and the
rope so thin, it started to cut into my hand. I didn’t care. The only
way I was letting go was if that rope cut my damn hand off. So, I grab
the rope, and the current is so strong it whips my body against the
giant rock, knocking the wind out of me.
I was peaked on
adrenaline and didn’t care. I hear my friend & his girlfriend
screaming something, but all I cared about was holding on.
whip my other arm to the rope and slowly but surely pulled myself up to
the point where my friend could grab me. I then laid there and thought
how Indiana Jones all that was. I damn near die, and I compare it to
My friend said he’d been to that swimming hole a bunch of
times, and he, nor anyone has had ever seen that second rope before. So,
I’ll assume it was some sort of magic rope, to ensure my survival so I could one day over-rate wrestling matches and have non-sexual crushes on Stallone, Van Damme, and Schwarzenegger.