RoH TV: June 22nd Edition

Sorry about the delay, a combination of Final Exams and unpleasantness in my personal life conspired against getting this out by Monday like usual

Brace yourselves boys and girls, shit gets weird this episode.

We open with a vignette of highlights on the Briscoes before the traditional RoH opening.

Now this is usually where we’d go to an announcer hyping tonight’s card, but tonight there is no card!  Instead we’ve been taken to Sandy Fork Delaware to see the Briscoes at their Chicken farm.  Mark takes us through the chicken coop which houses 30,000 birds and talks about having to clean out the dead chickens.  Jay says sometimes there are so many dead chickens they build a “big ass hole” and throw them in.  Well this is fucking morbid.  There’s then this horribly acted bit like something off a “reality” TV show where they pretend the camera’s not there (you know the type) in which Papa Briscoe throws a fit about Jay and Mark being late to deal with the chickens because they were getting stuff for wrestling together.  There’s lots of swearing and I’m still not sure when this became a bad reality show.  What WOULD the Briscoes reality show be called?  “Homophobes in the Morning”? “Dumbest and Dumberest”? “The REAL house hillbillies of southern Delaware”?

So with that it’s time for the Briscoe Brothers to hit the road!  Mark hops in the Doge pickup but Jay says they shouldn’t take the truck.  oh my god the drama is killing me.  The truck wont start anyways rendering the conversation moot.  Upon Jay’s suggestion they decide to take the RV instead.

Jay says Mark is a fool who thinks he could survive a leap of the Chesapeake bridge.  Mark confirms this and explains his “pencil diving” method; Mark does admit that he’s not a physics expert.  Understatement of the year right there.

commercial break, this may be the first RoH to feature zero wrestling before the first break.

We return with them interviewing Papa Briscoe, as this episode suddenly decides its a documentary instead of a reality show.  Papa says that his sons were always wild kids and crazy competitive.  every Saturday morning at 12:00 the Briscoe kids tuned into the WWF.  In his teenage years Jay converted to being an ECW mutant, and it was getting bled on by Kronus at an ECW show that really solidified that this is what he wanted to do with his life.  well that’s a new one, fuck Hogan, Savage or Steamboat–Kronus’ Hemoglobin inspired me to be a wrestler!

Next Mark talks about him and Jay backyard wrestling on a trampoline before they wore it out and built a ring instead.  Tables, barbed wire, it was ECW they emulated at 15 and 14 as their dad laughs remembering a funny story involving a FLAMING TABLE!  I mean Holy Fuckballs, the Hardys showed more restraint in their backyard wrestling then that.  Mark shows all the buildings around the farm he’s jumped off of and onto Jay.

The Brothers start talking about Mark’s RoH debut.  Jay was on a losing streak at the time as a single wrestler while Mark sat at home because at 17 he couldn’t legally compete in Pennsylvania where Ring of Honor was holding its shows.  This show was in Boston, which made Mark’s participation legal.  We then get footage of…
  
Jay Briscoe VS Mark Briscoe
Match in progress.  Jay powerbombs Mark and puts both men down. German suplex gets 2.  some countering ends in Mark getting a Dragon Suplex for 2.  Mark continues the offense with a Fisherman suplex which gets 2.  He goes up for the moonsault but Jay rolls out of the way.  Jay gets up and delivers a VICIOUS lariat which turns Mark inside out.  Death Valley Driver only keeps Mark down for 2.  Jay Driller is reversed, but Jay just catches Mark with an Emerald Flowsion instead.  Jay goes up for the senton bomb, but this time its Mark’s turn to roll out of the way.  Jay pulls him self up with the ropes and eats shining wizard up against them.  Mark hits the Cut-Throat Driver which is good enough for the three count.  This was a fun couple minutes.  Any reason we couldn’t just get this whole match instead of all the chicken talk?

Jay says he can’t remember who won that first match against Mark while he drives the RV.  Mark gloats about his victory.

Jay is asked what the craziest in ring moment of his career was by the previously invisible camera man.  He says it’s either Mark getting stretchered out after landing on his head once, or the time Mark lost his front teeth.  Mark makes fun of people who ask what happened to his teeth; “they got knocked out stupid.”  Turns out Jay did it.  They were wrestling some indy team at a small show in 2006 in a No Holds Bared Match.  Jay wound up to hit his opponent with a chair but, and i quote, “Some Redneck Dumbass who was standing behind me”.  Mark says he wasn’t shocked when he lost his teeth because he always knew he’d end up looking like Mick Foley or Chris Benoit.  lets hope for his kids sake it’s the former  They argue* it was each others fault.  They finished the match anyway
*They were interviewed in different places, and edited together to look like an argument

They start talking about the first time they won the tag titles, but now everything is clearly in kayfabe, talking about how it was a breeze winning the match thanks to the leadership of their manager, Jim Cornette.  *insert joke about Arn Anderson here.*  we then go to the match

RoH Tag Team Titles: Jay and Mark Briscoe vs Whoever the Hell the Champs Were.
Seriously, they don’t actually bother telling us who the hell they are fighting!  According to the title history on RoH.com the Briscoes beat “Izzy and Dizzy” for their first reign. Rip Impact called and wants his shittiest ring name title back.  don’t ask me which is which, from here on they are only known as J1 and J2.  J stands for Jobber.  The match is joined in progress with Mark back suplexing J1.  He follows up with a delayed vertical suplex.  Mark keeps the punishment going with a gut wrench suplex and some choking.  J1 dodges a boot and Mark takes out his brother.  J2 is running wild till Mark goes low and shuts him down.  Mark looks to fly put gets sent to the ring mat when he is enzugiried by J2.  J2 dives over the top rope to wipe out Jay Briscoe.  Mark gets up and tries to avenge his brother with a shooting star press to the outside, but he only hits Jay  The match skips forward.  A spring board Ace Crusher on J1 puts him out of commission.  P2 is set up for the doomsday device but gets out with a reverse rana.  Sliced Bread #2 for Mark gets J2 a two count but Jay then breaks it up.  Veg-O-Matic is a homage to Cornete’s old clients in The Midnight Express, but it’s also only good enough for a 2 count.  now J2 eats the doomsday device.  Mark dives out of the ring on J1, while the Jay Driller kills J2 for the three count and the titles.  This was alright, again it’s hard to judge a match soley on the last few minutes.  The supposed champions looked completely out of their league in retrospect, I don’t know how seriously they were taken 10 years ago, but looked ridiculous here.

Jay and Mark start talking about the Steenerico feud and seemingly Kayfabe has been dropped.  Next the show a montage of The two teams tearing into each other in all kinds of Hardcore matches.  Jay describes what those 4 did to each other as “some dumb shit”.  Mark talks about the bittersweet feeling of knowing that the Ladder War they had was they end of an era for them–the final blow off of a year long blood feud.

Ladder War 1 for the Tag Team Titles: Jay and Mark BriscoeVSKevin Steen and El Generico      This match is, shockingly, joined in progress.  El Generico is taken out with the doomsday device and both Briscoes start climbing.  Steen brings in a ladder and hits both Briscoes with it.  Steen makes a bridge of the ladder that goes from the turnbuckle to the ladder.  Steen tries to power bomb Mark, but he rolls through and hits a pair of super kicks on Mr. Wrestling.  Mark starts climbing, but Kevin brings him back down onto his ladder bridge.  Steen hits the package piledriver right through the ladder and ends Mark’s night.  Generico stumbles back into the ring and starts climbing, but Jay makes a ladder bridge in the corner opposite Steen’s and brings him down.  Generico wants the Brain Buster onto the ladder, but Jay counters and puts him through it with a Jay Driller.  Well that’s two wrestlers who are done for the night.  Steen and Jay climb either side of the ladder and get into a slug fest up top.  Steen goes down and Briscoe gets the strap undone but cant pull the belts down.  Steen climbs back up, probobly to ask Jay what is taking him so damn long as he’s been dinking around with the belts for a good minute at this point.  Steen is slugged down again and Jay finally pulls the belts down to retain the titles.  A Huge match of the year chant breaks out at this point.  The end of a classic match–but all we get here are the final two jaw dropping spots.

Next there is a random clip of the Briscoes beating WGTT.  no one addresses the clip or explains it’s significance–it’s just there

Papa Briscoe talks about the angle he did with his sons that culminated in The Kings of Wrestling battling the Briscoe clan.  I genuinely enjoyed hearing how enthusiastic Pops was to take part with his kids.  If there is a reason to watch this episode this interview is it.

Jay, Mark, and Papa Briscoe vs The Kings of Wrestling and Shane Hagadorn
So this match is joined in progress.  Papa rolls out side the ring and Sara Del Ray comes after him as the Kings manager.  He then uses the most overused RoH spot ever, as he forces a kiss on Del Ray.  Why does every match with a female manager have that spot?  Bennett has lost like a dozen matches in that fashion with Maria being SEXUALLY ASSAULTED as a distraction, it’s embarrassing.   Papa climbs back in the ring and takes a rolling elbow from Chris Hero.  That was a damn fine elbow, that Kassius Ohno clown should take notes.  The Kings set up KRS-1.  Jay and Mark break it up and then Papa delivers a Stone Cold Stunner to Claudio.  Papa scales the ropes as Claudio is hoisted up.  He hits the diving clothesline to complete the doomsday device and give the Briscoes the win.  Papa looked really good for a non-wrestler old man.  Another match I’d like to see the rest of.

Recap of Jay Briscoe becoming the RoH World Champion.

Various members of the locker room are interviewed on who will win the Brother vs Brother match at BitW.  Nigel takes Jay.  Rodderick Strong thinks he’s better then both, but Chicken will win.  Elgin thinks they’re both losers, because whoever wins, has to face him.  after that we get a final promotional video for the Briscoes World title match and we’re done

This was weird.  Part Documentary, Part Clip show, part Reality TV, 100% a commercial for BitW.  I’ll say give it a watch if you want to see the strangest episode of RoH TV to date, or if you are massive  Briscoe fan, otherwise missing this show ‘aint missing much

Review of Best in the World should be up sometime before Sunday