Smackdown – March 22, 2013

Smackdown
Date:
March 22, 2013
Location:
U.S. Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators:
John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole, Josh Matthews
Reviewed by Tommy Hall
With
Wrestlemania coming up very soon we’ve got almost everything set,
meaning that the next few weeks will be spent building up everything
else that we’ve already established. The main event tonight is
Swagger vs. Jericho in a rematch from last week where Swagger beat
Jericho through the help of some shenanigans. Let’s get to it.

The
opening recap is from Raw with Swagger breaking Ricardo’s ankle as
well as Big Show joining Orton and Sheamus to face the Shield.
We
open with MizTV with guests Sheamus and Randy Orton. Orton wants Big
Show to replace Ryback in the six man tag at Wrestlemania but Sheamus
isn’t sure. Neither guy trusts him, but sometimes you have to do
something you aren’t sure of in order to survive. At Wrestlemania,
Orton wants a ticked off giant on their side. Here’s Big Show to
give us his take on this.
Miz
talks about being Show’s partner back in the day and Big Show ending
the team by knocking him out. Big Show: “I’ve dated women bigger
than you so shut your lip.” Show talks about knocking out a member
of the Shield and how they can work together to stop the Shield once
and for all. Sheamus talks about his past with Big Show and a
showdown is teased but Orton plays peacemaker. Miz: “REALLY?
Randy Orton is the voice of reason of this group???” Before Show
and Sheamus start arguing even more, here’s Booker T to interrupt.
Tonight the three of them will be in a six man tag against opponents
to be named.
Mark
Henry vs. Zack Ryder
Ryder
is shoved in the corner but comes back with a few right hands. Like
an idiot though he tries a cross body and gets caught in the World’s
Strongest Slam for the pin at 52 seconds.
Ryder
gets two more slams as Henry shouts at him about how many can he
take. Ryback finally comes out for the big staredown as Ryder is
carried out like a pancake. Henry charges but is taken down by the
Meat Hook to send Henry into a state of confusion on the floor.
Teddy
looks for Booker’s approval for teaming up with Vickie to make Henry
vs. Ryback. Booker isn’t pleased because Teddy should have consulted
with his boss, as in Booker. Teddy doesn’t like the idea that he
works for Booker, because he works with him.
We
get the Booker Hall of Fame video.
Dolph
Ziggler vs. Kofi Kingston
Well
to be fair it’s been four whole days since we saw this match. AJ
sits in on commentary. A quick neckbreaker puts Kofi down as JBL
hits on AJ. Kofi comes back with his jumping clotheslines and the
Boom Drop for no cover. Langston distracts Kingston from trying
Trouble in Paradise though, allowing Dolph to hit a dropkick as we
take a break.
Back
with Kofi sliding through the ropes and kicking Dolph in the face.
As Kingston goes up though, Ziggler crotches him down as AJ complains
about being in a match with Dolph and her two exes. Kofi comes back
with some right hands but another dropkick gets two. Ziggler hooks a
chinlock for a bit but Kofi fights up and sends him shoulder first
into the post. The middle rope cross body gets two for Kofi but a
springboard splash hits knees, giving Ziggler a two count.
Trouble
in Paradise misses and there’s the sleeper to Kingston. Kofi escapes
again and gets two off the SOS as AJ sings Dolph’s praises. Dolph
falls to the floor but Langston guards him from a suicide dive. Kofi
dives on Big E. instead but the distraction lets Ziggler hit the
Fameasser on the floor. AJ: “I’m going to have that man’s babies.
And they’re going to have great hair and the abs of a Greek god.”
Back inside the Zig Zag finishes Kofi at 6:31 shown of 10:01.
Rating:
C. Not their best match here
but it’s nice to see Ziggler get back on top even a little bit. Kofi
will bounce back from this as he’s always lost a lot over his career.
It’s rumored that he might be turning heel, which could be
interesting given how serious he’s been in the past. The match here
wasn’t great but these two are incapable of having an actual bad
match against each other.
Langston
hits the Big Ending on Kofi post match.
We
recap Fandango and Jericho’s interaction from Raw.
We
get the CM Punk promo about Undertaker from Raw.
Orton
again has to tell Sheamus and Big Show to stop fighting.
We
look at Ricardo having his ankle broken again.
Jack
Swagger vs. Chris Jericho
After
a break, Colter talks about Ricardo’s injury from Raw and how that
should be a warning to anyone who disagrees with what they say. This
would include Jericho who interrupts Swagger as he repeats his
catchphrase. Feeling out process to start with Jericho knocking
Swagger out to the floor. Colter calms down an angry Swagger but
Jericho comes to the floor and rams Jack’s back into the barricade.
Back in and Swagger takes out Chris’ leg to take over for the first
time.
Jericho
comes back with a kick to the chest for two but the Codebreaker is
countered as Jericho is rammed into the corner. Swagger loads up a
superplex, only to be shoved off the top and hit with a cross body
for two. With Jack rolling to the floor, Jericho hits a sweet
plancha to take Swagger out as we take a break.
Back
with Swagger hitting a clothesline for two and pounding on the back
for good measure. Jericho is sent shoulder first into the buckle but
Swagger misses a charge, allowing Jericho to speed it up a little. A
top rope fist to Swaggers face puts him down and Jericho pounds away
in the corner as the fans chant his name. Jericho’s hurricanrana is
countered into the Patriot Lock but Jericho sends Swagger out to the
floor.
There’s
the springboard dropkick to send Jack to the floor….and here’s
Fandango with his full entrance. The distraction allows Swagger to
hit a powerslam for two. A side roll gets the same for Jericho but
when he can’t hook the Walls he instead catapults Swagger into the
ropes. Jericho loads up the Lionsault but Fandango trips him up,
allowing Swagger to hit the Vader Bomb for the pin at 9:04 shown of
12:34.
Rating:
C. This wasn’t as good as last
week’s and again I don’t like the idea of a guy who might be world
champion in three weeks needing Fandango’s help to beat someone.
This sets up Jericho vs. Fandango at Wrestlemania for reasons that I
don’t comprehend. That’s quite a way to push someone new though.
Post
match Fandango beats up Jericho and shouts WHAT IS MY NAME. A
guillotine legdrop leaves Jericho laying so Fandango pronounces his
name again for good measure.
Big
Show says his partners can trust him. Trust him, that’s true.
We
get the Rock vs. Cena video from Raw.
Here
are the Rhodes Scholars along with the Bellas. The guys say the
girls are beautiful and that’s about it.
Rhodes
Scholars vs. Brodus Clay/Tensai
Tensai
is in a coonskin cap for no apparent reason. Rhodes and Tensai start
things off before it’s quickly off to Brodus who runs over every
Scholar in sight. The girls get in a fight on the floor and the
match is thrown out at 1:10.
Sheamus
says Big Show can trust himself and Orton.
The
Miz vs. Antonio Cesaro
Barrett
is on commentary and this is non-title. A quick rollup gets two for
Miz but he charges into a knee to the face. Cesaro kicks him in the
back and face for two each. The gutwrench suplex gets another near
fall and it’s off to the cravate. Miz fires back with a knee lift
and a big boot, followed by the running corner clothesline and the
top rope ax handle.
The
Figure Four is countered once but after a chop block Miz takes out
the knee and gets the submission in 2:13. Yes, the United States
Champion just tapped out 100% clean in less than two and a half
minutes in a match to set up an Intercontinental match. Let that
sink in for a minute.
Post
match Miz calls out Barrett and says he’s only champion for now.
We
recap the contract signing and announcement of the stipulations for
Lesnar vs. HHH from Raw.
Randy
Orton/Sheamus/Big Show vs. 3MB
Yes,
all night long the super team has been worried about not being able
to work together against 3MB, the team that I believe at least two of
them have individually beaten before. Orton and Mahal get things
going with Randy pounding away in the corner. Off to Sheamus as
apparently Big Show isn’t official yet. Mahal gets in some right
hands but Sheamus easily pounds him down and hits the Regal Roll.
Off
to Big Show vs. McIntyre with Show hitting ten chops on the ropes ala
Sheamus’ forearms. Back to Mahal and then Slater with both guys
being tossed into the ring. With Slater laid out on the mat it’s
back to Orton for the powerslam but Slater breaks up the Elevated
DDT. Slater gets in a cheap shot and stomps away before it’s off to
McIntyre for a neckbreaker. Back to Heath who goes up, only to jump
into a dropkick by Randy. The tag brings in Show who cleans house
and knocks out McIntyre, only to have Sheamus tag himself in and
Brogue Kick Mahal for the pin at 5:53.
Rating:
D. Again, we’ve seen at least
Sheamus beat all three of these guys on his own, so what exactly was
this supposed to prove? It’s like saying you need to be able to work
together to crush a group of ants. I get the idea of working
together but they didn’t even need to. Did we really need to sit
through two hours to get to this?
Sheamus
and Big Show are about to fight again but here’s Shield. Before they
get here though Sheamus and Big Show get in a fight and shove Orton
away. Actually never mind as they stop fighting once Shield is at
ringside. Scratch that again as Shield is already bailing without
ever getting in the ring to end the show.
Overall
Rating:
D. What in the world
did I just wasted two hours on? The world champion isn’t here and
we’re 16 days until Wrestlemania? Alberto is so angry about what
happened on Monday that he let Swagger get by for free here. We
can’t even get an interview from him? Seriously? On top of that we
have the United States Champion playing a role that Heath Slater
could have played just as well. This show was a waste of time and
thank goodness I didn’t waste my time to go and see it. Terrible
show.
Results
Mark
Henry b. Zack Ryder – World’s Strongest Slam
Dolph
Ziggler b. Kofi Kingston – Zig Zag
Jack
Swagger b. Chris Jericho – Vader Bomb
Brodus
Clay/Tensai vs. Rhodes Scholars went to a no contest
The
Miz b. Antonio Cesaro – Figure Four Leg Lock
Big
Show/Randy Orton/Sheamus b. 3MB – Brogue Kick to Mahal
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