The Only Review of the John Cena Experience Blu-Ray That You’ll Ever Need

There’s
not much to be said about John Cena that hasn’t been said before. He’s
literally been the top guy in the company for 8 years, and honestly, there’s no
end in sight. While we’re all sick of his act, there’s one thing you can’t
deny; he’s one hell of a stand-up guy and a great wrestler. I truly wish he was
around when I was a kid so I had a proper hero. There was a good year when I
was bullied a lot, and I can honestly say if I was watching John Cena, I
wouldn’t have let them push me around like they had. So, while we all scream
for him to turn heel, I can clearly understand why he hasn’t yet. I mean, who
wouldn’t mind sleeping on top of a pile of money surrounded by many beautiful
women?
The documentary isn’t your standard, as that was all covered in
his previous release, My Life. This time around we follow John around while he
gets ready for WM 26. It’s actually a pretty interesting documentary, and
something I hope they follow up with for other superstars. As you may know, I
don’t dwell on the documentary portions of these releases, because people
simply want to know if it’s good or not, and then skip down to the match
reviews. So, without further ado:

John Cena vs. Kurt Angle – No Way Out – February 20, 2005

It’s ridiculous how much cooler John was back then than he is
now. Although that whole Ruck Fules thing was rather stupid. Match starts off
with Kurt working the arm and neck. Cena soon grows tired of that and gets
aggressive, which works until Kurt suplexes him into the turnbuckle. I always
loved moves like that, especially the powerbomb one they had in WrestleMania
2000. The start was a bit slow, but after that the match really started picking
up, and by the end they’re putting on an f’ning show.

Cena delivers the FU to Angle and grabs the pin at 19:21 |
***3/4

John Cena [C] vs. Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels – Taboo Tuesday
– November 1, 2005 – WWE Championship
This match is ridiculously fast and detailed. A lot of Triple Threat matches,
especially in WWE, it’s one guy is down, 2 guys fight, and so forth. But almost
from the get go, all three men are in the ring with an obscene amount of
reversals, chain-movements, and almost Hollywood-esque choreography. Once it
does get to the usual way of doing things, it’s no complaints, as any combo of
these 3 wrestlers is great. A shame it didn’t headline a more serious PPV or
was given more time. Good stuff.
John delivers the FU to Shawn for the pin at 16:42 | ***1/2

John Cena vs. Edge [C] – Royal Rumble – January 29, 2006 – WWE
Championship

John gets his own entrance ramp that’s equipped with confetti
cannons, just like the one’s real gangbangers use. There isn’t much to say
about this match, as it’s a pretty average Cena-Edge match that will fit nicely
among the thousands of others they’ve had, but nothing that helps it stand out.

Edge taps out to the STFU at 14:02 | ***1/4

John Cena vs. Edge – Tribute To The Troops – December 25, 2006

Speaking of the thousands, it’s an average TV match that would
make for a fine main event any Monday night, but I wouldn’t call it DVD worthy.

Edge
eats an FU and pin at 7:32 | ***

John Cena & Shawn Michaels [C] vs. Rated RKO – RAW –
February 26, 2007 – WWE Tag Team Championship

For some reason it seemed that during the entire run of Rated
RKO they wanted to focus on the two not trusting each other, which was
something I never understood. The main reason why is because they’re a solid
tag-team, and one that you could truly believe stood a chance against guys like
Cena & Michaels, or DX. Great match with everyone doing their part, and
Rated RKO making sure without a shadow of a doubt that they could take the
titles from the WM23 Main Event Tag-Team. They didn’t, but at least there was
the possibility.

Orton eats a Superkick & FU after about 13 minutes | ***1/2

John Cena [C] vs. The Great Khali – One Night Stand – June 3,
2007 – Falls Count Anywhere for the WWE Championship

This was a small window of time that was pure crap for the WWE.
We’d just come off a great WM with number 23 and the Backlash that followed.
Now we enter the time when Khali was main eventing, and Vince was the ECW
champion. This is hands-down Khali’s best match, and it’s no surprise that Cena
is the one to get it done. They were smart by not keeping it in the ring, and
constantly having John be chased while trying to use whatever he could find to
take down Khali. The Super-FU was great, and a perfect way to serve up the Punjabi
Playboy’s first pin-fall loss. 
Khali takes a Super-FU and a pin at 10:31 | ***

John Cena [C] vs. Bobby Lashley – Great American Bash – July 22,
2007 – WWE Championship

Lashley got the upper hand on John from the get-go with his
knowledge of amateur wrestling, and then once things picked up, he kept his
momentum with a number of power moves. Great moment where Lashley goes for the
spear, only to have Cena turn it into the STFU in the middle of the ring,
forcing Bobby to literally crawl the entire length with Cena on his back until
he hit the ropes. A great outing for a rookie like Lashley, as Cena helped him
look like a million bucks, and there was no shame in his loss. Good stuff,
really. 
Lashley takes a top rope FU, then gets pinned at 14:52 | ***1/2

John Cena [C] vs. Randy Orton – SummerSlam – August 26, 2007 –
WWE Championship

2007 Orton was on a tear. He had great run with Rated RKO,
including some matches against Edge, he then had this great one against Cena,
followed by winning the title in an awesome LMS in September. He held his own
against Shawn at Cyber Sunday, and followed that up with a fantastic match
against HBK at Survivor Series of that year. At the beginning you have a
feeling that Orton isn’t really a threat. He appears too young, he’s smaller
and over-tanned, but then he just lets loose and dismantles Cena, proving he’s
not just a threat, he’s a guarantee. Orton has won titles before, and even
though he lost here, tonight was the night he proved without a doubt that he
belonged at the top rung.

Cena catches Orton with an FU and pin at 21:19 | ****

John Cena vs. Triple H [C] – Night of Champions – June 29, 2008
– WWE Championship

Cena loses, then Triple H takes the belt over to Smackdown.
Geez, Triple H looks like he’s been using deck-stainer as a self-tanner. The
match tells a great story with Cena having a lackluster 2008 so far, and
wanting to bring the title home to Raw. However, Triple H has his number for
most of the match, constantly cutting off his momentum gains, while avoiding
any big guns from Cena’s arsenal. After a clean defeat, Cena’s 2008 continued
to falter. 
Triple H hits the Pedigree & pins Cena at 19:37 | ****

John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels – Raw – January 26, 2009

This was during the time that Shawn Michaels was under the
employ of JBL. The angle was pretty decent, but could have been a lot better if
their blow-off match wasn’t *1/2. I remember tuning in specifically for this
match because of the last 2 encounters these guys had. Unfortunately, this one
doesn’t hold a candle towards its predecessors. The focus of the match is more
about HBK & JBL than it is HBK & Cena. Where the other 2 matches felt
like each guy was fighting for his life, this one felt more like they were just
wrestling a main event on Raw. Bit of a let-down.

Cena hits the FU & pins Michaels at 13:09 | ***

John Cena vs. Jack Swagger – Raw – April 13th, 2009

The winner gets the show they represent two picks for the draft.
I really expected this to be a major squash, instead, Swagger hangs on for
quite a while, and even handles himself really well. With this, and the
fantastic match he had with Christian at Backlash 2009, I would have thought it
would earn him a lot more than a Ronnie Garvin title run. Watching this reminds
me of something I read in The Death of WCW. Eric Bischoff was doing an online
chat and someone asked why Nitro always looks the same. Bischoff responded by
saying that everything across the board was up, so yeah, they must be doing
something wrong. This Raw is almost 4 years ago, and not only does it look
exactly the same, it sounds and feels exactly the same as it does now. They
need to freshen things up drastically, and soon. As for the match, great stuff
that had Swagger looking like a million bucks. Something like this would have
made a lot more sense the Raw before Elimination Chamber. 
Swagger taps out to the STFU at 8:18 | ***1/4

John Cena vs. Big Show – Judgment Day – May 17, 2009

There’s really nothing to say about this match. Big Show does the whole “I’m
super mean, and super mad, and you can’t hurt me” deal, as he squashes Cena for
most of the match. Then we have flashes of Cena putting the hurt on Show, and
the announcers do the “Oh snaps! He can be hurt! But we know John can never do
the FU! EVER.” despite Cena not only doing it to him, but doing it while Edge
was on his fucking back only 2 months prior. Why include this instead of the
insanely more entertaining LMS match with Edge from Backlash is beyond me.

Cena hits the FU and pins Show at 14:57 | *

John Cena vs. The Miz – Raw – June 29, 2009

This is a pretty typical Raw main event, with nothing too
spectacular to speak of, except the fact that Miz is dressed like a go-go dancer.
Thankfully it’s better than their WM match, but that isn’t saying much.

Miz taps out to the STFU at 10:40 | **

John Cena [C] vs. Shawn Michaels vs. HHH – Survivor Series –
November 22, 2009

Fantastic beginning as Shawn superkicks HHH right out of the
ring. After Cena & Shawn do their part for a while, there’s a brilliant
spot where Triple H saves Shawn from an FU Through a table, so he can put him
through it with a spinebuster. Awesome. They all trade off in combos, and each
portion is just as good as the last. This really is a hell of a match, and
probably the most creative triple threat I’ve ever seen. Insanely entertaining
with a hell of a finish.

Triple H eats a Superkick, and then Cena gives Shawn the FU,
landing on Hunter, allowing Cena to pin HHH at 21:13 | ****1/2
Blu Ray Exclusives:

John Cena [C] vs. Chris Jericho – Tribute To The Troops –
December 19, 2009 – WWE Championship
Nothing to report, really. I don’t know why they included this
one instead of their gem from the 2008 Survivor Series. They trade a few moves,
Jericho leaps from the top rope, Cena catches, rolls, FU, end of story.

Jericho eats an FU and a pin at 7:53 | **

John Cena vs. Batista [C] – WrestleMania XXVI – March 28, 2010 –
WWE Championship

The entrance stage for WM 26 is absolutely ridiculous. Batista
is a savage and is out to do nothing but hurt, these intentions are displayed
clearly while he does things like a running clothesline to the back of Cena’s
head, and a DDT that has John in clear pain after trying an FU. Cena responds
perfectly by refusing to break the STFU once Batista hits the ropes, or hitting
him with a top rope 5 Knuckle Shuffle. These two just work great together.
Nothing flashy, nothing detailed. Just two guys trying to break each other’s
bones. Cena proves why he’s the man as he poses and smiles with the people in
the front row who have home-made Cena Sucks t-shirts.

Batista taps to the STFU at 13:31 | ****1/2

Showcase Showdown: One hell of a set. The documentary portion
was really interesting, and something completely different from what’s come
before. I’d like to see more like this, honestly. I tell you what, after my
first round of signing 3,000 autographs in one session, I’d change my name to a
dot. 
The match selection is great, and gives you a pretty good variety as far as
opponents are concerned. Of course, there are some major omissions, (I Quit
with JBL, TLC with Edge, WM23 & Raw against Shawn) but the first 2 on that
list were on Cena’s My Life DVD, and the Raw match can be found on Heartbreak
& Triumph. There’s still a ton of matches for future releases; his Survivor
Series match against Jericho, the triple threat from Backlash 2005, the two
four-man matches from Backlash 2007 & Backlash 2008, and the list goes on
and on. Because at the end of the day, we may be sick of his character, but he
always delivers in the ring. Definitely a set worth picking up.
As always, props to my editor, Steven Ferrari. I met him while I was battling Toka & Razor. They threw me through a wall and there was Steven, performing on stage. 
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– Caliber Winfield