ROH TV 2-2-13

Not much news this week, outside of El Generico officially signing
with WWE. No surprise there, as it was just a matter of him passing his
physical. Of course, that can be a bit of issue for some people, just ask Nigel
McGuiness. Also, Shelton Benjamin returned to ROH for the TV taping earlier
tonight, though I won’t spoil the details. We’ve got 4 matches tonight,
including a gauntlet match (6 matches then, I suppose), so this should be a
pretty fast paced show.
Top Prospect
Tournament: Antonio Thomas vs. TaDarius Thomas:
Oh, s---, this isn’t going
to be pretty. Antonio (who gets absolutely NO reaction) is one of the former
Heartthrobs from WWE, and calling a guy who Vince canned 7 years ago a prospect
is quite a stretch. Truth Martini is on commentary yet again. Antonio attacks
from behind and gets the dreaded double ear-lock, TaDarius flips out of a
suplex attempt and chops away. Antonio reverses an Irish whip and TaDarius does
some sort of idiotic attempt at the Ultimo Dragon handstand in the corner,
Antonio just pulls him down and hits a belly-to-back suplex for 2. He throws
some punches from the mount and then starts working TaDarius over on the
corner. Fisherman’s suplex for 2 and he goes for the eyes, then grabs a
headlock and an abdominal stretch. F---, we’re about 90 seconds in here and
they’re already going to the restholds. TaDarius gets free but ends up in the abdominal
stretch again, this time he makes the ropes. TaDarius gets what is called a
triangle choke by the commentators (even though no part of his body is anywhere
near Antonio’s throat) through the ropes as Martini leaves the commentary position and heads to
ringside. Why? I don’t know, because he doesn’t do anything, but the important
thing is that I don’t have to listen to him anymore. TaDarius gets a rollup for
2 and throws a kick that actually makes contact. A little too much contact actually, that looked pretty dangerous. Next kick does not, and the punch that he
follows that up with doesn’t even come close. He throws a couple leg kicks and hits
a shitty neckbreaker and goes up top, Antonio crotches him but TaDarius gets a
better looking neckbreaker off the second rope. They do a bad looking reversal
sequence, and TaDarius finishes it with another shitty kick at 4:26. To quote
Charles Barkley: “This was TURRIBULL!” DUD, and judging by the way the camera
was focused on things other than the wrestlers for a good portion of the match
there was probably a heavy dose of editing to even make it look that good. No
heat whatsoever, either. TaDarius’ victory gives us a rematch of the epic
Thomas/ QT Marshall shitfest from this past summer, and I’m sure it will be a
strong candidate for worst match of the year.
Mike Mondo joins us for commentary, and we see a Grizzly
Redwood video package. I always noticed him in the roster section of the ROH website,
but this is the first time I can recall seeing him on TV.
Grizzly Redwood vs.
Roderick Strong:
Grizzly looks like Necro Butcher… if Necro was the same
size as Rey Mysterio was back in his WCW days. He’s listed at 5’3” and 151 lbs.,
which puts him right in that ballpark. Strong cuts a promo after the bell rings
to point out that Grizzly is, in fact, really small. Thanks for that helpful
info, Roddy… Grizzly attacks from behind and pounds away in the corner, Strong
comes back with a high knee and throws punches of his own. Backdrop suplex gets
only gets a 1 count, Roderick misses a charge and Grizzly misses a dropkick to
the knee by about a foot, Strong sells it anyway. Strong tries a tilt-a-whirl
backbreaker that Grizzly reverses into an abdominal stretch and turns into a
cradle for 2. He gets tossed to the apron and misses a shoulderblock through the ropes, Strong hits a
backbreaker for 2. Strong misses 3 different blind charges and Grizzly hits
what may have been a f----- up rana from the second rope, though it may have
been intentional, I don’t know… He PULLS DOWN THE SUSPENDERS and tries a
springboard neckbreaker but gets caught with a powerslam for 2. Strong tries…
something that Grizzly reverses into a crucifix and an awkward sequence ends
with a Grizzly rollup for 2. Small package gets 2, springboard DDT gets 2, and
he tries a sleeper. Strong just dumps him on his head and hits a stiff high
knee in the corner, jumping double-knee gutbuster ends this one… no, Grizzly
kicks out! He reverses a vertical suplex attempt  into another rollup, but Strong comes right
back with a jumping knee and a backbreaker. Stronghold (Walls of Jericho,
basically), and Grizzly taps at 5:00. They want to make Grizzly into ROH’s
version of Mikey Whipwreck, and just like Mikey he’s not very good in the
ring, inspirational story aside. Still, I’ve seen far worse (like that first
match) and the crowd was into it, so what the hell. *1/2. Strong won’t let go
of the hold, so Michael Elgin makes the save. Hey, he had to come out anyway,
he’s in the next match.
Michael Elgin vs.
Mike Bennett (w/ Maria Kanellis and Brutal Bob):
Maria’s skirt is actually
smaller than the shorts she was wearing at Final Battle. Brutal Bob hops up on
the apron to discuss something with the ref and Elgin takes him out, Bennett
attacks from behind and we’re on. He punches away, Elgin tries a crossface but
can’t lock it in, he hits a powerslam for 2 shortly thereafter. He misses a
blind charge and Bennett gets a rollup off that. Bennett tries a cradle
piledriver, Elgin backdrops him over the top and Bennett takes a wicked bump to
the floor. Man, that just SOUNDED painful. Elgin hits a shoulderblock from the
apron and tries to ram Bennett into the ringpost, Bennett gets free and drops
him back-first on the edge of the ring. Back in for 2 and Bennett grabs a
chinlock. Elgin reverses an Irish Whip and hits a suplex, and goes corner to
corner with clotheslines, Black Hole Slam gets 2. He goes for the powerbomb,
Bennett gets free and tries the TKO, Elgin escapes that and lands a jumping
enziguri. Can’t have an episode of ROH without that move… Bennett catches Elgin
coming off the ropes and this time hits the TKO, it gets 2. Cradle piledriver
attempt #2 doesn’t work either, Elgin hits a big boot and the corner DVD for 2.
He goes for the 2nd rope apron-to-ring suplex, and here’s Maria to grab the leg
to block it. So Elgin tries it on her, but Brutal Bob grabs her leg to stop
that, and Bennett gets a shot in on Elgin from behind. Box Office Smash from
the second rope gets 2, and if I’m Bennett I’m probably just getting the hell
out of there at this point. But no, he tries the cradle piledriver for a third
time, Elgin rams him into the corner but runs into a big boot. Bennett tries
something off the second rope but gets clotheslined on the way down.
Bucklebomb, spinning sitout powerbomb, and we be done here, yo, at 5:25. Too
short, but they did their best with the time they had. ***.
Inside ROH: We
replay the Lethal/Steen segments from the last couple weeks and see an
interview with BJ Whitmer.
Tag Team Gauntlet. Winner
gets a title shot at the 11th anniversary PPV. We start with:
American Wolves vs.
The Bravados:
Drunk Charlie Haas joins us for commentary (Seltzer: “I think
we’re going to have a CUI”). The Wolves are now wearing matching tights, like
I don’t have enough trouble telling them apart as it is. Edwards starts with
Harlem and Edwards hits a dropkick and a running powerslam, Richards gets
tagged in and hits a diving headbutt for 2. Edwards back in and we have a
chopping battle, Harlem wins and tags in Lancelot, who looks like he’s gotten a
bit fat since I saw him last. Some double team elbows get 2, but Lancelot gets
caught in the wrong corner and Richards takes over, briefly taking time to
knock Harlem off the apron. This match has a strange formula, as they’re doing
the face-in-peril deal, but the Wolves seem to have forgotten that THEY are the
faces and the other team is the heels. Richards hooks a modified Texas
Cloverleaf and Harlem comes in to break it up, and while the ref is distracted with
him Edwards comes into for the double team behind the ref’s back. See what I
mean? It’s weird, and Haas acting like he’s all offended about it is kind of
funny. Anyway, Edwards is back in with a snap suplex for 2. Lancelot runs him
into the corner and now Harlem is in and he stomps away. He gets caught in the
wrong corner though and gets double teamed (with the Bravado on the apron
getting sent to the floor again), but Edwards misses a blind charge and goes
shoulder-first into the ringpost. That looked (and sounded) pretty bad. The Bravados
try a double suplex but Richards just brings his knees down on their heads to
block. Enziguri on Lancelot, Edwards back in with a superkick on Harlem,
kick/chop combo to the head of Harlem gets 2. Anklelock on Harlem, Achilles
lock on Lancelot, both are reversed to rollups for a double 2 count. Lancelot
gets dumped, Richards gets the anklelock on Harlem again and he taps at 4:50.
American Wolves vs.
Steve Corino and Jimmy Jacobs:
At least Corino isn’t wearing that awful
one-piece swimsuit looking thing. Haas: “The only good thing about this team is
their music”. BTW, if you’re bored check out all the “(X) pisses Charlie Haas
off” videos on YouTube, there’s about a dozen or so. Brawling to start, both
S.C.U.M. guys get dumped and both Wolves follow them out with dives through the
ropes. Jacobs gets double-teamed back in the ring, a missile dropkick gets 2.
Richards tries the kick from the apron but Corino catches it and Jacobs spears
him to the floor. Corino in the ring now and he hits a low blow behind the ref’s
back, but a running knee is reversed into a rollup and S.C.U.M. is done at
7:28. Corino cracks Richards in the head with the bell after the match is over
though, and Jacobs nails Edwards with a diamond cutter as Fish and O’Reilly
make their way out. We cut to commercial before out last match.
American Wolves vs.
Bobby Fish and Kyle O’Reilly:
We return with the heels stomping away on the
Wolves, Richards gets tossed and Fish takes over on Edwards with some
punchy-kicky stuff. O’Reilly in and he too does nothing of note. Fish tags
in and misses a blind charge and Edwards makes the comeback. Hot tag is made,
Richards comes in and delivers about 20 kicks to O’Reilly in the corner. O’Reilly
hits a high knee but Richards comes back with a kick to the head and a German
suplex. Clothesline for 2 and we get into a bitchslap war. Fish hops up on the
apron and grabs Richards, O’Reilly charges in but of course hits his partner,
Edwards tags in and both guys hit a double stomp from the top on O’Reilly for
2. Crowd starts with the “This is awesome!” chant, Haas disagrees. Fish pulls
Richards out and sends him into the barricade, Edwards takes a sort of Total
Elimination for 2. Kick/Brainbuster combo finish Edwards at 13:09 shown. First match
was pretty good, second one was too short to be worth anything, last one was
just kind of “meh”. Call it **1/2 for the whole thing.
Well, the opener sucked, but the rest of the show was pretty
good. Can’t complain about the quantity of wrestling, that’s for sure,
especially on a 1 hour show. Next week: ACH! Plus an 8 man tag match with
S.C.U.M. against the Briscoes and Coleman & Alexander.