Smackdown – January 18, 2013

Smackdown
(700th Episode)
Date:
January 18, 2013
Location:
AT&T Center, San Antonio, Texas
Commentators:
Josh Matthews, John Bradshaw Layfield
Reviewed by Tommy Hall
We’re
getting very close to the Rumble and there’s a new world champion
that the winner could challenge. Tonight is Del Rio’s fiesta for
winning the title which is likely to open the show. Big Show is
going to get his rematch at the Rumble so look for the interruption
from him. There isn’t much else to talk about here so let’s get to
it.

Apparently
the Rock Concert is on Smackdown tonight. That sounds like a replay
to me.
I
was right as we open with a mariachi band and a dancing girl in the
ring. Ricardo handles the introductions of course and I can’t help
but like Del Rio a lot now. I don’t know if it’s the white suit or
what but this face turn is perfect for him. Del Rio says we haven’t
always seen eye to eye but we can celebrate that Big Show isn’t world
champion anymore. They seem to really be cranking up the fake pops
tonight.
Cue
Ziggler who is here to crash the party. Del Rio says this is his
party and apparently doesn’t want them here. Ziggler says that
Alberto doesn’t have the world title but rather a target on his head.
Dolph introduces Del Rio and Ricardo to Langston so Del Rio says get
out of here. Ziggler says how about I have Langston drop you right
here and I leave with the title. Del Rio says try it and here’s Big
Show. Dolph says Del Rio is outnumbered so here’s Sheamus.
The
pale one talks about his history with Del Rio, including stealing his
car in San Antonio. Del Rio deserves to be champion though and
Sheamus shakes his hand. Sheamus offers to be the bouncer for the
fiesta and the fight is about to begin when Booker come out. Yep,
it’s another tag match. I wouldn’t mind these as much if they didn’t
spend ten minutes setting up something that should take 30 seconds.
The heels leave and Booker gives us a Spinarooni to mariachi music.
Sheamus does the Irish version of the Mexican hat dance.
Kofi
Kingston vs. Antonio Cesaro
Non-title
and no entrance for the champion anyway. Kofi cartwheels away to
start before firing off some forearms. Cesaro grabs the gutwrench
suplex to take Kofi down but Kingston starts jumping around and
hitting some more forearms to take over. JBL throws in that this is
episode 700 like an afterthought. That’s certainly a change of pace.
The SOS gets two for Kofi so he goes up, only to dive into the
Neutralizer (Switzerland, neutral. Oh I get it.) for the pin at
2:59. Not much above a squash here. Who did Kofi tick off lately?
Cesaro
waves an American flag post match.
Miz
shakes his head in the back when Epico, Primo and Rosa come in to
laugh at him. They talk about Flair and Miz’s segment on Raw and
suggest a match tonight. Miz doesn’t care which it is, which is
appropriate as no one cares about Miz as a face.
Great
Khali vs. Tensai
They
circle each other to start as the announcers talk about monster
movies. Khali fires off the chops as Josh desperately tries to make
Tensai seem like a threat to anything more than a buffet. Tensai
charges into a boot in the corner and the big chop gets the pin at
1:28.
Natalya
and Khali dance a bit. JBL: “Does the Anvil know his daughter is a
Punjabi princess?”
HELL
NO is in the back and wonders why Dr. Shelby thought bringing in the
Rhodes Scholars was a good idea. Bryan makes fun of Cody’s facial
hair and Kane stares at him. This develops into an argument until
Orton glares them down. They have a six man tonight. Bryan points
out that Orton isn’t a champion at the moment which ticks him off a
bit. After they win their match tonight, GROUP HUG! Randy: “I’m
not much of a hugger.” Bryan: “Not yet you’re not.” That came
off a little bit creepy.
HELL
NO/Randy Orton vs. Rhodes Scholars/Wade Barrett
Randy
wants Barrett to start but gets Cody instead. Off to Kane for his
low dropkick which gets two before it’s off to Bryan. A double ax to
the arm slows Cody down even more and it’s time to crank on it a bit.
Daniel fires off his kicks to Cody’s chest before it’s off to Sandow
who has to run away from the NO Lock. The heels regroup on the floor
as we take a break.
Back
with Sandow working over Kane before it’s off to Cody. He’s worried
about hurting his mustache I guess because it’s off to Damien again
for the Wind-Up Elbow. Kane slugs Barrett down for a bit but walks
into Winds of Change for two. Cody’s Disaster Kick jumps into an
uppercut though and it’s a double tag off to Sandow and Orton. Randy
starts cleaning house but gets caught in Cross Rhodes for two.
Rhodes gets shoved to the floor by Kane and it’s the RKO for the pin
on Damien at 4:21 shown of 7:51.
Rating:
C-. This was another short
match in a series of them tonight. There’s just not enough time to
really develop anything here but combining feuds is always a good
idea. Then again that’s assuming Barrett and Orton are really
feuding, because they only had one match and I don’t think they had
more than about three seconds of contact here tonight. Still though,
nothing terrible here.
Orton
gets hugged and looks annoyed.
Here’s
the ENTIRE Rock Concert from Raw and the post concert brawl.
The
Miz vs. Primo
Dang
that’s kind of a drop isn’t it? Miz starts by doing the Flair slick
back of his hair. Primo gets annoyed by yet another Flair tribute
character (please don’t let that be the case) and pounds away. A low
dropkick to the face gets two for Primo and it’s off to a chinlock
with a bodyscissors. Miz fights up from his knees as JBL talks about
Heath Slater’s mom. Josh defends her and the deadpan voice JBL
responds with is hilarious. “Do you consider Heath Slater’s mom a
wrestling analyst?”
Primo
keeps pounding away but Miz comes back with left hands of his own.
They’re both left handed here which is a pretty odd thing to see.
JBL takes a shot at TNA by saying that teams like the LOD, the Killer
Bees and the Dudleys never made it as singles wrestlers. Miz rolls
through a sunset flip and kicks Primo in the face to take over. JBL
says very few people are like him and very few people are like Josh
“thank God.” Epico distracts Miz to let Primo get in a chop
block before being rammed into his cousin. Miz finishes him with the
Figure Four at 5:44.
Rating:
D+. Boring match but hilarious
commentary here. I don’t know what they’re shooting for with Miz,
but pairing him with Flair isn’t the answer. Miz’s main problem is
that he’s still the same jerk he was beforehand, and Flair isn’t
exactly going to humble him. Having Miz use the Figure Four is going
to get annoying fast, just like it did when AJ used it in TNA.
The
Divas celebrate Katilyn’s title win and Layla is admiring the belt a
little too much. Booker and Teddy come up to congratulate her as
well.
Kaitlyn
vs. Aksana
They
lock up to start and Kaitlyn takes her to the mat with a front
facelock. A not very snappy suplex gets two for the champion (this
is non-title) and Aksana shoves her to the floor. Aksana hooks a
chinlock before I think trying to work on the shoulder. They start
brawling on the mat with Aksana keeping control. Out of absolutely
NOWHERE Kaitlyn hits a bad spear for the win at 3:30.
Rating:
D-. This started off bland and
got even worse. Aksana is just horrible in the ring and can’t do
anything right. You could tell they ran out of stuff to do at about
two minutes in and it turned into a sloppy brawl with a bad spear
ending it. This division is dying for someone like Finlay to
actually teach them how to wrestle a four minute match.
Mick
Foley Hall of Fame video. Cool stuff. This is where it helps when
WWE owns basically every piece of video ever and can put almost every
highlight Foley has ever had into this.
We
recap Ryback and Shield from Monday.
Shield
does their usual thing and calls out Ryback, Sheamus and Orton. The
reason they attacked Foley was because Foley set an example that led
to a lot of people trying to be hardcore and injuring themselves in
the process. That’s not a terrible explanation and makes as much
sense as anything else.
Orton
and Sheamus are watching the promo and say bring it on Shield.
Sheamus apologizes for not being there to help Orton at Main Event
when Shield attacked. Orton says he didn’t need help and talk turns
to the Rumble, which both guys say they’ll win.
Big
Show/Dolph Ziggler vs. Sheamus/Alberto Del Rio
Ziggy
and Del Rio get things going here. After escaping a quick wristlock,
Del Rio takes Dolph down and tries a middle rope moonsault. That
goes nowhere so Alberto launches him into the air for two. Off to
Sheamus to pound away on Ziggler as is his custom. A delayed
vertical gets two but White Noise is escaped. Show comes in and
pounds away on him in the corner before sending Sheamus to the
outside. Langston gets involved and a fight nearly breaks out but
the referee ejects Big E before it can go too far. AJ is tossed too.
We
take a break and come back with Ziggler holding a chinlock on Del Rio
but the champion comes out of it with a German suplex. The hot tag
brings in Sheamus and as usual, Ziggler gets beaten up. Show
interferes to send Sheamus off the top and out to the floor and
actually give Ziggler a chance. Off to Show officially to stand on
Sheamus’ back and lay on his leg. From his back, Sheamus manages to
fire off the forearms to the chest to escape the hold but Show drops
an elbow on his back to stop the tag.
A
side slam gets two for Show and Show hits his Vader Bomb. He goes up
for another one and you know that move isn’t hitting twice in one
night. There’s the hot tag to Del Rio who cleans house on Ziggler.
A low superkick to Dolph gets two followed by the cross armbreaker
but Show makes the save. Sheamus pops back in for White Noise on
Show to send him to the apron. Del Rio kicks the big man to the
floor before throwing a bucket of water in his face (remember what
happened on Raw) and Show walks out instead of fighting for the
countout at 11:35 show of 15:05.
Rating:
C+. This wasn’t bad here and it
gives us some more friction between Show and Del Rio. Sheamus and
Ziggler were just there to fill in two spots in the ring which is
fine. This was about setting up stuff for later and there’s nothing
wrong with that when the card for the Rumble is already set. Good
little main event here.
Red,
white and green balloons fall to end the show.
Overall
Rating:
C. This is a hard show
to grade. The first hour or so of the show is just there and most of
the stuff is too short to grade. On the other hand nothing is really
bad (other than the Divas but who cares about them anyway) and the
main event was fun. This is WAY below what we had last week but a
show being ok and having nothing of note being terrible is a step up
for Smackdown anymore.
Results
Antonio
Cesaro b. Kofi Kingston – Neutralizer
Great
Khali b. Tensai – Chop to the head
HELL
NO/Randy Orton b. Rhodes Scholars/Wade Barrett – RKO to Sandow
The
Miz b. Primo – Figure Four Leg Lock
Kaitlyn
b. Aksana – Spear
Sheamus/Alberto
Del Rio b. Big Show/Dolph Ziggler via countout
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