Rock Swears to God…

per 411.
 
" On RAW, The Rock swore to God that he will defeat CM Punk at the Royal Rumble for the WWE Championship. Usually when a babyface guarantees a title win in such a dramatic fashion they win. Some are speculating that this means The Rock will definitely win at the Rumble. "

….so that means what???

 
 

Choose your punchline here:
1)  This and other headlines monthly in "A-DUUUUUH" magazine.
2)  If by "some are speculating" you mean "Listening to the Observer podcast and passing it off as your own news," then 411 is totally correct.
3)  I'm pretty sure God has better things to do than book wrestling shows. Or least I'd hope he would do a better job than Stephanie if he was given the book.  
By the way, OF COURSE Rock is winning the title from Punk.  Our little armchair booking is fun, but if you think there's anything but a 99.99% chance of Rock putting Punk down with the People's Elbow and winning the title at the Rumble, you're nuts.