ROH TV 12-15-12

It’s the go-home show for Final Battle, and this TV taping
is finally over, thank GOD.

But first, a couple quick plugs: Are you a retro video game fan? Or even a modern video game fan? Then you need to check out the Video Game Console Library, which has everything thing you ever needed to know about every video game console ever made, even obscure s--- like the RDI Halcyon, Casio Loopy, and the Funtech Super A’Can. This site has it all, right up to scans of original manuals and links to the emulators of all these odd consoles you’ve probably never heard of. NES fans also need to check out the NES Quester, where Mike Wright is reviewing every licensed NES game, in order, and I occasionally pop in and s--- all over the garbage that Nintendo sued over to keep off the NES (Spoiler Alert!: They won the lawsuit but lost the war). Tell the kids, they need to know where the video games that they play these days got started.

Vinny Marseglia vs.
Davey Richards:
Why are they even bothering with this? Marseglia is from
PWF (?) according to Seltzer and looks like a low(er) rent Jeff Hardy, so I
hate him already. Totally different style wrestler though. The fight over a
wristlock to start as Kyle O’Reilly and Bobby Fish appear in the isle to watch.
Marseglia hits an ugly headscissors that both guys botch their ends of, Davey
bails and Vinny follows with a plancha. 
Back in and Vinny (much easier to just type his first name) gets a
headscissors into a Russian legsweep, and follows that with some sort of odd
submission hold I can’t really describe. Davey gets free and notices Fish &
O’Reilly, Vinny attacks the distracted Richards from behind but gets kicked
right down and put into a modified Texas Cloverleaf. Vinny makes the ropes and
tries to come back with a rollup from the corner and an enziguri, but Richards
counters with an inverted atomic drop and that sliding kick thing he does finishes
at about 4 minutes. *1/2, not a bad little squash and I liked Marseglia’s style
here (and I take back what I said before), though both the crowd and the commentators didn’t give a damn about this
this match, and with this being the fourth squash of a random indy guy for the
night I don’t blame them. This made one thing clear: trying to pack 5 hours of
programming into one show when you have this small a roster is a bad idea. ROH
officials must have seen this, as the next 2 TV tapings are only a month apart,
as opposed to 10 weeks apart. I’ve been going on about how ROH needs more
people, but seriously, even that guy from last week with the 60’s gimmick would
be a good pickup. He was shitty, but at least he had something that would make
me remember him. “He dressed like Billy Graham and wore sunglasses to the ring”.
It’s really nothing, but it’s SOMETHING that would let me pick him out of a
crowd…
Mike Mondo joins Kevin Kelly in the ring, and replays show
that it was indeed the shot to the guardrail that broke his leg at Glory By
Honor. Mondo gives the standard injured-guy “I’ve been dreaming of being a
wrestler since I was a little kid” speech, and then goes on a quick but AWESOME
angry rant burying WWE. When he comes back it will be on like “Donkey freakin
Kong!” OK, that wasn’t too awesome…  For
some reason Roderick Strong comes out, tells Mondo that no one cares about him
(that promo made me care about him, despite the bad Donkey Kong thing), and takes out the broken leg. He tries to
run down Michael Elgin, but Elgin is in the ring before Strong can even get the
words out of his mouth. Truth Martini then comes out and tries to get between
them, Elgin shoves him out of the way and Strong nails Elgin with Mondo’s
crutch from behind and gets the hell out of there. The point here was to get
face heat for Mondo and make Strong look like a total dickhead, and it worked,
so it was a good segment overall. Seriously, I know I’m a total smartass reviewing this, but this was much better than I’m making it seem. You don’t really need great mic work if you
can do good old-school heat. Now let’s see if they can maintain it…  
Inside ROH: Clips
of the Jay Lethal/Kevin Steen match where Steen spit in Lethal’s mother’s face
are shown, making me think that Lethal will be the deciding factor in the
ladder match tomorrow. Rest of this is just standard PPV hype.
Veda Scott is in the back with Coleman and Alexander. Veda
looks great, Coleman and Alexander are hilarious in their quick promo
Steel City
Streetfight: Steve Corino vs. Jay Briscoe.
In this case, “streetfight”
means no DQ, no countouts. Corino wrestles in a dress shirt and slacks, which
is certainly better than the one-piece swimsuit thing he’s been wearing lately.
Jay attacks and dumps Corino, tosses him out, and both guys throw each other
into the barricades a couple times. Jay gets a beer from a fan and nails Corino
with it, but another fan holds up a chair and Corino sends Jay face first into
it. Corino goes under the ring and grabs a table (and finds all the streamers
that have been tossed into the ring throughout the night), but ends up on top
of it and Jay double-stomps him through it. Out of all the ways to put a guy
through a table that was the safest I’ve seen so far, IMO, and I mean that in a
good way. And we go to break…
Back from commercial and Jay nails Corino with a sneaker.
Really? A SNEAKER? The f---? He kind of makes up for it by putting the ring
bell near Corino’s head and hitting it with the hammer, giving us that nice satisfying
“DING!” sound like if we were playing No Mercy. Back in the ring Jay wedges chairs between
the ropes in all for corners, but here’s Jimmy Jacobs to distract Jay, and
Corino nails Jay with the roll of quarters for 2. Jacobs tries to get in for
the double team, but here’s Mark Briscoe out to the ring to whip his ass, and
Jay sends Corino into all the chairs that are in the corners. Mark takes off to
the back, but quickly returns with a f------ WHEELBARROW full of chairs,
tossing about half a dozen into the ring and launching the rest into Jacobs,
who’s still out on the floor. Jay is distracted by all these shenanigans however, and gets
sent face-first into one of the corner chairs by Corino, and scoop-slammed onto
the pile that Mark threw in. Mark carries Jacobs to the back on the wheelbarrow
as Corino sits up Jay on a chair in the sitting position and boots him down. Corino
just cracks Jay in the head with a tossed chair, then grabs another table and
sets it up in the corner. Jay tries to get back to his feet but Corino kicks
one of the chairs laying in the ring (there’s about 15 of them at this point)
right into Jay’s face. REALLY cool spot right there, and yet so simple… Corino sets
another chair upright and hits a brainbuster on it for 2. He sets up another
chair next to the other one, but spends too much time playing to the crowd and Jay catches him and
hits the Death Valley Driver on the two chairs. Corino is DEAD after that, and
Mark returns with a section of the old style guardrail. Jacobs follows him out and
nails Mark in the nuts, stops Jay from DVDing Corino, and Jay takes a
belly-to-back suplex through the table. Jacobs and Corino try to set up the
section of guardrail on a set of 4 chairs, Mark takes out Jacobs as the stooges
finally get involved and take out the non-combatants, and Corino ends up
getting superplexed onto the guardrail to finish it at about 16:00 aired. I don’t
have my stopwatch/phone, hence the approximate match times, but THIS TIME the “Holy
s---!” chant is totally justified. Coleman and Alexander run out and hit
top-rope dives onto Mark and Jacobs (who are now with all the stooges out on
the floor) as the pin happens in the ring. The finishing spot was botched, as
Corino was supposed to hit the middle of the guardrail but ended up hitting the
end of it and cracked a couple ribs. This was taped over a month ago though,
and he should be fine for the PPV. I’m kind of torn on the rating here, as they
did their best to pull off a crazy ECW-style brawl, but somehow it just lacked
that intensity that ECW had, probably because of the somewhat burnt-out crowd and the
lack of blood. F--- it though, I don’t care, this gets ****1/2 from me. It’s not
be the most technically proficient match of 2012, and I wouldn’t put it over my
totally-dead-crowd MOTY in Styles/Daniels, or over Cena/Punk at NOC, or over
Punk/Bryan at MITB, or even over Steen/Elgin at Glory By Honor. But I will say
one thing: this match was the most fun I’ve had watching wrestling in a LONG time.
Old-school ECW fans need to find this match online somewhere. Kevin Steen makes
his way to the ring as we go to commercial.
Steen sits on one of the many chairs on the ring with El
Generico’s mask and cuts a promo. He then heads outside and threatens Kevin Kelly, and really overstays
his welcome, with all the high-pitched screaming of “YOU SHOULD BE TERRIFIED!”
Kevin Kelly isn’t Michael Cole, that’s not going to work, and this whole segment just grinds to a halt. People who play EWR
will know this as Sophie saying “You are pushing him too hard and fans are getting
sick of him”or whatever she says. Just an AWFUL promo from Steen here… And
we’re FINALLY done.
An excruciatingly long TV taping finally ends. This was
actually a really good show, though stop after the Jay/Corino match is over.
The card, and my predictions (in the order I think the card will happen), for
Final Battle 2012: (And PLEASE, don’t post any spoilers or anything about
the show in the comments. I’m not going to be home tomorrow to order the show, but I do plan to
order the replay and have a review up ASAP, and I’m going to my best to avoid
any sort of spoilers and results.)
Jay Lethal vs. Rhino: They will keep the ANGRY JAY storyline
going here. Rhino wins, probably by DQ
Prince Nana vs. RD Evans: I can’t see this storyline going
on any longer with QT Marshall as the only worker left standing. Nana wins, Ciampa likely makes an appearance,
Marshall probably kills Evans after.
Roderick Strong vs. Michael Elgin: Truth Martini costs Elgin
the win and gets annihilated.
Richards/Edwards vs. O’Reilly/Fish: Edwards shows up but
walks off at some point, O’Reilly & Fish win the match
Jerry Lynn vs. Mike Bennett: ROH is the proverbial rock and
the hard place here. If Bennett wins he’s not going to WWE, if he loses he is.
Honestly, I got money on Lynn.
Streetfight: WGTT vs. Titus/Whitmer: Again, the WWE comes
into play here, as Benjamin is also rumored to be headed up North. Either way,
Haas and Benjamin win here, though don’t be shocked if Haas turns on Benjamin.
“Special Attraction” (non title) Match: Matt Hardy vs. ROH
TV Champion Adam Cole: I’m thinking Matt is one-and-done here. Cole wins cleanly
and relatively quick, if this goes much longer than 10 minutes I’ll be pretty
shocked.
ROH Tag Titles: Sudden Death Rules (in other words, the
champs have be involved in the fall): Steve Corino & Jeremy Jacobs (c) vs.
The Briscoes vs. Caprice Coleman & and Cedric Alexander: I would be kind of
stunned if either the Briscoes or C+C don’t turn here.  No matter what, S.C.U.M. reatains.
ROH World Title, Ladder War IV: El Generico vs. Kevin Steen
(c): Generico hasn’t done anything thing to promote this match, isn’t scheduled
for the next TV tapings, and hasn’t signed a contract with ROH as far as I
know. Add that to the fact that Steen/Lethal is next up for ROH and Steen is obviously
winning here, unless ROH wants to pull a SWERVE!, and I don’t see that happening.
Jay Lethal will likely be a factor in the finish.
This will be the last ROH TV for at least the next 4 weeks, as the next TV taping will not be until the middle of January. I still plan on popping up every Saturday night/Sunday afternoon though, and while I know what I’m doing next weekend I need something to fill the next few weekends after that. So I’m open to requests, but if you want me to review something than you have to provide a link (YouTube, DailyMotion, torrent, whatever) as I have pretty much nothing on DVD.