The Only Review of WrestleMania 19 [other than Scott’s] That You’ll Ever Need

WrestleMania XIX
Safeco Field, Seattle, WA
54,097 in Attendance
550,000 in PPV buys
. Pretty weak since they were expecting 880,000. Why do you guys think the buy-rate was so low?

February, 1999

Caliber: You mark my
words, man. Within 5 years I’ll be at WrestleMania, watching the Hulkster come
down the aisle in the red and yellow.
Caliber’s Friend: There’s
absolutely no way in hell that will ever happen.
I couldn’t believe my luck
that I was going to a Wrestlemania. Not only that, but the card wasn’t a WM4,
or WM9 type of situation. This was going to be a solid event. So, my
friends and I get tickets, and they’re pretty decent. When you watch the show,
you see the floor, then the arena starts to go up in levels. We’re right
in the middle of the first level, and that’s just about perfect. Plus, my seat
is at the end of the aisle, which is pretty choice. Especially since my
buddy on the end had to sit next to a guy who was so fat that he was literally
oozing over the arm barrier. Across the aisle was a guy dressed head to toe
like Roddy Piper. Obviously he did it for the chicks, but it’s always cool to
see peeps do that.
Rey Mysterio vs. Matt
Hardy [C] – Crusierweight Title

Great opener. It’s no Pillman/Liger, or Bret/Owen,
but it does its job damn well. Basically a condensed version of most of
Rey’s matches. They were executing everything flawlessly, and it was pretty
exciting for what it was. A shame it didn’t last longer. 
Matt rolls up Rey and holds the ropes for the pin
at 5:39 |  ***

Limp Bizkit plays Rollin’
to bring out Undertaker. I actually paid to see Limp Bizkit during the Anger
Management Tour, and they were great. 
The Undertaker vs. Big
Show & A-Train

We find out before the match that Nathan Jones was
jumped before the match, thus he won’t be able to complete. No, it had nothing
to do with his complete inability to wrestle. He was awesome in Tony
Jaa’s The Protector, though. On the way to the ring, A-Train disrespects
Undertaker by tilting the rear-view mirror on his bike. Will they escalate
the feud by having A-Train adjust Undertaker’s car seat and change his radio
presets? 
Considering I believe the
American Bad Ass to be the worst main eventer of all time, I’m surprised this
match isn’t completely atrocious. 
It was a well done power
game, with no needless sleepers and other lame big-man spots. Good stuff.
The Undertaker hits
A-Train with the Tombstone for the pin at  9:45 | **3/4
Ugh, Miller Lite Cat Fight
Crap. I thought it was stupid and pointless at age 19 and I still do. At least
a woman worth her salt is up next…
 Trish Stratus vs. Jazz vs.
Victoria – Women’s Championship
I wonder why Victoria/Tara
doesn’t get more fanfare. She’s gorgeous, and more than capable of having a
good match. The PPV didn’t have a Woman’s Match graphic, which was fine because that meant I got to surf around Google looking at Trish pictures.
I totally forgot about her
coming down to that song by the Russian pseudo-lesbians.
Also, I have no proof that
Jazz is Stevie Ray, but I’m working on it. There is plenty of proof that Trish
really is a talent, watching her shows just how bad the current crop of models
from the Claire Lynch School of Acting truly are. This match was hard hitting,
fast, botch free, and flat out exciting. One of the best women’s matches
I’ve ever seen. Wow, after seeing these lower card matches, and knowing what’s
coming up, this damn well could be the best WM ever. 
Trish Stratus hits
Victoria with a Chick Kick for the pin & the title at  7:17 | ***
The Rock is in Hollywood
Rock mode, meaning he gives actual promos, and is at his strongest. He doesn’t
plan on losing to Stone Cold. 
Los Guerreros vs. Benoit
& Rhyno vs. Team Angle [C] – WWE Tag Team Championship
I never understood Vince’s
distaste for elimination matches. In any other federation, a Triple Threat is
elimination, same with multiple tag-team matches. But not here. I do like the aspect where
anyone can tag anyone. So if you’re stuck in a corner getting worked over, you
can tag whoever is there to take your place. It’s an absolute shame this match
didn’t get more time, because if it had, we would have had a sure-fire classic.
With the time we got, we
get a frantic, high impact, hard-hitting and fast paced match. It was
absolutely incredible. A damn shame they weren’t given more time.
Shelton Benjamin gets the
pin on Chavo after Rhyno hits the Gore at  8:45 | ***1/4
Oh snaps. The Cat Fight
girls argue over who started WrestleMania. You can tell they’re passionate
about it when one of ’em keeps insisting Hulk Hogaln started it. Indeed.
 
Chris Jericho vs. Shawn
Michaels
The match starts off with
some of the ‘evenly matched chain-wrestling’ that some have grown to hate. I
don’t watch indy wrestling, so it’s still cool to me. Great spot that
soon follows is Jericho going for the bulldog, and Shawn launching him crotch
first into a turnbuckle. Later, Jericho works the back by applying The
Walls outside the ring, then smashing Shawn’s back into the ringpost twice
before discarding him like so much trash. Awesome. I absolutely love
it when Jericho kips up and does the Shawn-Flex, great taunt. There’s a million
great spots to mention here, but honestly I was just all sorts of sucked
in to the match. It’s incredible. Easily one of the best ‘new guy vs established
star’ matches ever. And Jericho kicking him in the junk afterwards is
GOLD. 
Shawn gets the roll up and
the pin at  22:33 | ****3/4

We get the promo for Goldberg’s arrival. I
remember seeing that and screaming “NO! NO! Please God, NO!” However,
my pleas fell on deaf ears. 

Catfight girls come out to
waste everybody’s time. 
Promo for Triple H vs
Booker T. I completely forgot this match was even on here, and it’s pissing me
off all over again. What the HELL was the point of Triple H winning
here? Can ANYONE explain it?
 Triple H [C] vs. Booker T
– World Heavyweight Championship
Not too much to talk about
in the beginning, it’s a pretty basic Triple H match. He hits a sweet
spinebuster, and then soon follows it up with a clothesline to Booker
while he’s in the corner that’s easily the hardest one I’ve ever seen Triple H
give. I mean, Booker explodes forward with how hard Triple H hit him.
That’s soon followed by a great moment with Triple H leaping off the second
rope, only to meet Booker’s kick mid-air. Jerry and JR are in prime form
during this match, showing just how much of a bore The King is when he’s a face
announcer. Booker T is doing a Bret Hart style job of selling the knee, kudos. WHAT
THE HELL? I knew the ending was bullshit, but that was it? C’mon, that was an
EASY ‘he’s down, but OH! He’s up at the last second’ sorta thing. Booker
couldn’t get pinned right after the Pedigree? He had to wait for Triple H to
hit the Pedigree, go paint a house, order a pizza, decide he didn’t like
the color he painted the house so he paints it again, then comes and pins
Booker? Horseshit.
The real bummer is this
could have been a classic, because as it is, it’s a damn fine match. 
Triple H hits the Pedigree
and scores the pin at  18:50 | ***3/4
I really enjoyed the promo
video for Vince vs Hogan. Plus the whole ordeal with Vince signing Hogan’s name
in blood was fantastic.
 Hulk Hogan vs. Vince
McMahon – Street Fight
Finally. This was ALL I
cared about since it was announced for the card. I didn’t dream of sitting
during this match either. I was finally going to see Hogan live. The guy
across from me, Roddy, was giving a mighty boo to both. They start off in the
ring, obviously, with Vince working the shoulder. Eventually it leads outside, as
each gets their own time with a chair. There’s a spot where Hogan swings
on Vince, but hits Hugo Savinovich instead, and he even blades. What a trooper.
Few bleed as well as Vince, as it just works so well with his face.
Point exactly when they get that awesome shot of him looking over the ring once
he gets the pipe. Now of course this is the moment where Roddy Piper
comes into the ring and the dude near me EXPLODES. If I didn’t know any better,
I’d think he was gonna go home with Piper or something. It was a cool
thing to see though, and one of the things that make wrestling so much
fun. I was losing my mind during the Hulk-Up as was everyone around me. Loved
every minute of it. You know, you’d think after seeing Hogan Hulk-Up about
30,000 times that Vince would know he couldn’t hurt him. 
Hulkster drops three legs
on Vince for the win at  20:48 | ***
We get the recap vid for
Rock vs Austin. Basically, Austin returns after his whole ordeal with not
laying down for Brock, and The Rock challenges him for a third and final
showdown at WM19. One guy wants to get what he’s never had, the other wants to
protect his legacy.
I know it’s not two single
people who are supposedly dating as the GM tries to make a scandal out of it,
but it’s the way to a match that I prefer. 
 The Rock vs. Stone Cold
Steve Austin

Match starts off in Stone Cold’s favor, before The
Rock shifts the tide by zeroing in on Austin’s knees. Man alive, is there any
wrestler anywhere who does a move shittier than The Rock’s Sharpshooter?
It’s TERRIBLE. It looks more like a suggestion that a submission “gee,
would you mind tapping out? Are you too uncomfortable? My bad!” The
Rock puts on Austin’s vest, and he looks like when your younger brother would
edit the wrestlers in No Mercy, giving them odd clothes and such.
There’s a great spot where Rock goes for the People’s Elbow, and Austin moves
out of the way just as Rock brings the elbow down. Austin pops up, goes
for the Stunner, only for The Rock to push Austin into the ropes and hit him
with a spinebuster. It’s moments like that,
that make Austin and The Rock so fantastic. A great match with an awesome
ending when you see it in retrospect. Austin
knew it was his last, but just wouldn’t die, and even though he knew The Rock
had him, he still kept trying. Great match.
The Rock hits a third
& final Rock Bottom for the pin & Stone Cold’s career at 17:53 | ****1/2
Recap vid for Angle vs.
Lesnar. We see Brock win the 2003 Royal Rumble, then Team Angle beat the hell
out of Brock on Smackdown. Followed up by Angle pulling a switch on Lesnar during a
Smackdown match and getting the pin. If I recall, Angle was needing time off
for surgery, so they wanted to keep him fresh and avoid all chance of injury.
I’ve actually never seen the match, so I’m really looking forward to it. 
 
Kurt Angle [C] vs Brock Lesnar – WWE Championship
Match

They of course start the match with traditional
wrestling, with no complaints from anyone. Angle does a sweet suplex on Lesnar
that launches him back first into the turnbuckles, an awesome move that reminds
me of the powerbomb into the turnbuckles from No Mercy. Honestly, not too much
memorable happens until Brock just about kills himself. What a disappointing
match. Some wrestling, a REALLY long wrest hold, nothing else too
interesting or exciting, and then the Shooting Star. 
Brock hits the F5 on Kurt
Angle and grabs the pin & the title at 21:04 | ***1/2
Showcase Showdown: My
friends and I left in the middle of the Title Match because we just didn’t
care. As we were almost out of our exit we hear the crowd give a collective
“OOOOH!”. As we walk back into the arena we hear someone say
“Brock snapped his neck! He’s dead!” If there’s anyone you can
trust for reliable info, it’s a wrestling fan. We saw everything was fine, and
once again headed for the exit. My friend glances over this rail down to
the floor and sees Arn Anderson. He’s a life-long wrestling fan and yells out
“Arn, you’re a legend!”, to which Arn turns around and waves. 
My other friend, who
absolutely hated The Horsemen at a young age and would never forgive himself
for not telling The Enforcer off, yells to him “Arn, you’re fucking
fat!”. He felt vengeance was his. All in all, it’s a great WM. I still
don’t feel it’s the best, as WM24 holds that title for me, but 19 is fantastic
and my favorite live show. The fact I got to see Hulk Hogan, in the red and
yellow, is one of my favorite memories. I find it funny the DVD included both Limp Bizkit performances, and
the Cat Fight Girls, but left out when John Cena came out to battle rap a card
board cut out of both Jay-Z & Fabolous. 
I still have my Hulk Still
Rules bandana that I got at the show, and wear it on occasion. Mostly at
black tie events. 
Since you’ve all been so
kind, I figure I’ll reward with a recap of the following Backlash’s main event.
A match I’ve never seen, and a decision I’m sure I’ll regret
immediately.
The Rock vs. Goldberg –
Backlash 2003, April 27, 2003
Rock basically makes the
match after Goldberg shoves him down following a tie-up by saying “Oh, you
are in trouble now!”. However, he then ends up making this match
far more boring that I could imagine. Honest to God, in TEN MINUTES we’ve seen
two lock-ups, a slap, a shoulder block, and a clothesline. He’s stalling
beyond belief. On the plus side, I will say that Goldberg delivers a far more
impressive Rock Bottom than the Rock ever has. Following that, Rock
slaps Goldberg in The Polite Suggestion [Which is what I’ve dubbed his
Sharpshooter. Because it’s far from a submission, it’s more like he’s politely
suggesting that said person give up]. Rock hits Goldberg with a spear, and pops
right up for a pose, yet when Goldberg speared The Rock he was down for
just about as long as Rocky. I mean, how on Earth is this supposed to make
Goldberg look powerful? This whole match The Rock has made him look like
a GD chump, and it’s as if Goldberg is barely able to escape with his life.
Which leaves me with no surprise as the arena fills with “Goldberg
Sucks” chants. I will say when The Rock gets speared, he gets
speared. Certainly not a good debut, and it wasn’t going to get any better as
the montHHHs rolled along. 
Goldberg snags the pin
after hitting The Rock with the Jackhammer at 13:03 | **

Hope you guys dug it. I appreciate the requests for good shows, you’ve all been kind. What would you guys like to see next? 

Thanks to Steven Ferrari for taking the time to check this article and allow me to look professional. 

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