Michael’s Impact Review

JUNE 14, 2012

–  We are fresh off a great pay per view from Sunday night.  Tonight we are promised an Ultimate X match, the start of the Bound for Glory Series, AND Bobby Roode faces Mr. Anderson for the TNA Heavyweight Championship.
–  Your hosts are Mike Tenay and Taz.

–  We are kicking it off with….

1.  Zema Ion vs.  Chris Sabin vs.  Austin Aries
–  Sabin and Aries take each other out to begin and Ion scales up the side to go after the belt.  Sabin stops him and snaps off a Tornado DDT.  Now Aries heads up the side and gets cut off by Sabin.  Sabin starts to cross the cable and drops into a Fireman’s Carry by Aries.  He rams him into the corners and AIRPLANE SPIN!  Aries is dizzy.  Ion tries a Tornado DDT and gets backdropped out.  Sabin backdropped on top of him!  Aries with a low dive through the ropes.  Sabin may have hurt his knee.  Aries crosses the cable up top and Ion pulls him down.  He goes for it again and Ion follow him up.  Aries snaps off a top rope huricarana!  Brain Buster on Ion!  Aries retrieves the belt @ 7:19.  (Tough luck for Sabin.  Some fun spots here but not the best Ultimate X I have ever seen.  C.)
–  Aries is on the mic and says he is the best pound-for-pound wrestler around.  He is the Greatest Man to Ever Live!  He is not satisfied as being the X Division Champion.  He wants more.  This brings out Hulk Hogan.  He stares Aries down and we’ll be right back.
–  Hogan says he hears how loud the reaction is for Aries.  But saying he is the main event is a tall order.  Hogan says he has been there.  He says that Aries is the greatest thing he has ever seen in the ring.  Aries tells him that he wants to be the main event.  He makes Aries versus the World Champion at Destination X.  But Aries will have to vacate the X Division title immediately if he agrees.  What kind of s--- is this?  Stipulation makes no sense.  He gives Aries one week to make his decision.  
–  We get a tease of some action from Slammiversary.  Later we hear from Sting.  Now we go back to Joseph Park in catering telling people about his win over Bully Ray at Slammiversary.  Everyone leaves when Bully Ray shows up.  He is looking for Abyss and spits in Park’s food.  Fair enough.
2.  Hernandez vs.  Devon
–  SUPER MEX DIVES OVER THE TOP TO START THE MATCH!  He tosses Devon in for a cover of 2.  Devon is picked up and Hernandez elbows him down for 2.  Devon up and shoulderblocks him down.  Another diving shoulderblock and splash drops Hernandez.  He tries another shoulderblock and Hernandez bounces him with his own shoulderblock for 2.  He backflips to the top.  Botched clothesline off the top gets 2.5.  Hernandez runs into a standing chokeslam and Devon wins it @ 3:32.  (Your average back and forth match.  Nothing special.  D+.)
–  We go back to last week with what happened between Dixie Carter and AJ Styles.  Now we see footage from earlier today as AJ tells Dixie they need to tell everyone the truth.  Bad acting fogs my judgement.
–  Its now time for the opening match in the Bound for Glory Series.  A gauntlet match.
3.  Gauntlet Match (20 points awarded to the winner of this match)
–  #1 is AJ Styles.  #2 is Jeff Hardy.  Hardy starts with a headlock and holds onto it well.  AJ escapes and dropkicks him down.  Hardy backdropped to the apron and springs back in with a dropkick.  #3 coming in?  This ain’t no gauntlet.  Its Rob Van Dam.  He spin heel kicks everyone down.  Rolling Monkey flip sends AJ across the ring.  Rolling Thunder on Jeff Hardy and we’ll be right back.  Back on Impact and #4 was Magnus.  He is in the ring.  #5 is Bully Ray and he makes is way in.  NOW we find out its a Royal Rumble style, over-the-top-rope elimination match.  #6 is Kurt Angle and he is OD’ing on German Suplexes!  AJ tries to toss RVD but no dice.  #7 is The Pope!  Thank GOD!  4UP’s for everyone!  Ray tosses Hardy @ 10:06.  From under the ring, it’s ABYSS!!  He eliminates Bully Ray @ 10:36.  We’ll be right back AGAIN!  Back on Impact AGAIN and Robbie E is in the ring as #8.  #9 comes in and it’s Daniels.  AJ attacks him immediately.  Daniels ducks a Pele Kick and knocks Angle out.  Daniels tosses AJ @ 15:45 and Angle @ 16:02.  #10 is Samoa Joe and he is taking everyone out.  He tosses Robbie E @ 17:04.  Joe turns to former partner, Magnus and eliminates him @ 17:56.  Here comes #11 and it is, James Storm.  He tosses Pope @ 18:56.  Codebreaker on Daniels.  Daniels eliminated @19:21.  Down to Storm and Joe.  They trade chops and forearms.  Storm skins the cat and HIS FEET ACTUALLY TOUCHED THE FLOOR!  He’s back in and gets Joe trapped on the apron.  Last Call sends Joe to the floor @ 20:35 and Storm wins the match.  (Great “gauntlet” match.  I thought there were supposed to be 12 guys, unless they counted Abyss.  Either way, very entertaining and a great group of guys for the BFG Series this year.  B.)
–  Storm grabs the mic and says he had a lot to think about since his absence.  His daughter is the reason he is back.  He made a promise to her and that is to become World Heavyweight Champion.  He hopes that Bobby Roode is champion so he can kick his ass.  SAYDL follows.
–  Backstage, Roode says Storm’s return is based on jealousy.  And he has another problem tonight in the form of an Asshole.  Sorry, the immaturity in me just laughs at that statement.  
–  In the locker room, Angle asks AJ what his problem is.  He says Daniels and Kazarian are inside his head.  He tells him to get his s--- together.  AJ promises to get it together and focus.  Angle must have cycled back on.  
4.  Madison Rayne vs.  Miss Tessmacher
–  Madison dominates the early going and faceplants Tessmacher for 2.  Tessmacher mounts a comeback and clotheslines her down.  Russian Legsweep into an elbow drop wins it for Tessmacher @ 2:50.  (Glorified squash here and I hate that Madison has to do the honors.  D+.)
–  Backstage, Brooke Hogan tells Gail Kim she is thinking of including her in a 4 corners, #1 contenders match on Open Fight Night next week.  Gail insults her and says she has a rematch coming.  Brooke says she decides when that rematch will happen so Gail can enjoy an extended vacation.
–  We see how Mr. Anderson became #1 contender for tonight.  He says backstage that he remembers getting bashed in the head with a beer bottle.  I really don’t give a damn.  
5.  Mr. Anderson vs.  Bobby Roode
–  Quick pace to start and Anderson clotheslines him down.  Another follow-up clothesline in the corner.  Roode tries to escape and gets suplexed back in for 2.  Roode tosses him out the ring and SPRINGBOARDS to an empty floor.  Anderson throws him into the ringsteps.  And with that, we’ll be right back.  Back on Impact and Anderson is trapped in a chinlock.  He escapes and Roode elbows him down.  Neckbreaker by Roode gets 2.  Anderson gets offense in and goes for the Mic Check.  Reversed by Roode into the Crossface.  Anderson rolls him up for 2.  Rolling Fireman’s Carry by Anderson gets 2.5.  Anderson kneels down and Roode catches him in a Crossface again.  Anderson fights it but finally taps out @ 11:28.  (Match was just not good enough for me.  I try to look at Anderson’s matches unbiased but this just wasn’t any good.  D.)
–  Backstage, AJ tells Dixie they are going to hurt a lot of people but the truth needs to be told.  They embrace, and I brace myself for another letdown on a pay-off.  Just sayin’.
–  Next week is the return of Open Fight Night and Gut Check.  Also, next week Austin Aries must make his decision about the X Division title.  Miss Tessmacher will defend her Knockouts Title.  And AJ and Dixie come clean.  
–  Jeremy Borash is in the ring and introduces Sting to the crowd.  First his tribute video plays for the crowd from Slammiversary.  Sting comes out dressed to compete.  He says that Slammiversary was one of the greatest nights of his career and thanks Dixie Carter.  Suddenly three guys come out dressed in Mortal Kombat masks and attack him in the middle of the ring.  Crowd is chanting for Hogan and I have no idea why.  Show ends.
–  Well that was odd.  Fun way to end the show.  Action was 50/50 this week.  Liked two matches and the other 3 didn’t really blow me away.  Plus, TNA did a good job of informing us what to expect next week.  Its little things like that, that I appreciate.  See you next week.