Man, I’m almost tempted to download the abdomination that was EXTREME REUNION just to see if it could be as bad as promised. Vince and Dixie have been SERVED, indeed. Anyway, a real wrestling promotion is doing an actual, non-“tape delayed” PPV tonight, and it’ll actually be the fourth one in a row I order, which is the first time in many years when that has happened. Buyrate prediction: Brock’s not moving ratings and he won’t move buyrates either. It’ll do better than last year, but only like 10% more. So we’ll say 140K domestic and 220 worldwide. EXTREME RULES match: Brock Lesnar v. John Cena I think they go all-in with Brock and resist their temptation to have smiling Cena triumph in the end. Brock destroys Cena in a quick match, but maybe takes an FU during the comeback before shrugging it off and hitting the F5 and choking Cena out with the head-and-arm choke like he did against Shane Carwin. I think Cena’s getting beat, and tapping, to injure him and take him off TV for a while. CHICAGO STREET FIGHT, WHICH IS TOTALLY DIFFERENT THAN EXTREME RULES match: CM Punk v. Chris Jericho On one hand, WWE logic says that Punk is due to job in Chicago, but sane person logic says that Jericho is on the way out again for the summer and people aren’t buying into the storyline anyway. Really, Punk is the long-term guy with the belt until they’re ready to pass it to Brock, so there’s no point in interrupting his 6 month reign for a month just so they can put it back on him again. I think Punk retains in a fun brawl and Jericho goes away to tour with Fozzy for a while. EXTREME 2/3 FALLS match: Sheamus v. Daniel Bryan Bryan’s going to be mighty over, and maybe we can hold out hope that Del Rio’s involvement in the World title will mean a three-way at the next show instead of a singles match, but I wouldn’t bet the farm on AJ successfully interfering or anything. Sheamus will retain in two straight falls, probably one even shorter than Wrestlemania, but it’ll end up being a great match hopefully. SPIN THE WHEEL, MAKE THE DEAL! Big Show v. Cody Rhodes Cody had the crap beat out of him on Smackdown by two different people and looked like a jobber, so naturally he’s getting the title back here because Big Show hasn’t even defended it since winning. What a disaster this program has become for Cody. Not even a beautiful one. Stipulation guess: DQ rule is waived, because that costs the least money and that way Show doesn’t have to job. EXTREME FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE match: Kane v. Randy Orton Much like Randy Orton, I just don’t give a shit anymore about this feud. Paul Bearer helps Orton win somehow, hopefully it’s good and ends this program forever. EXTREME WOMEN’S match: Nikki Bella v. Beth Phoenix Guess they realized no one was buying the ankle injury storyline. Nikki uses TWIN MAGIC to retain and gets squashed back to the indies by Kharma tomorrow night on Monday Night RAW Starring Brock Lesnar. EXTREME YOUTUBE PRE-SHOW match: Santino v. The Miz They’re doing nothing with the Miz, so look for him to beat Santino clean and win the US title. Really, as long as the two World title matches deliver and Brock beats the jorts off Cena, this is a thumbs up show, so it should be a challenge for them to fuck it up. We’ll see tonight I guess.