The SmarK SUPER SMACKDOWN Rant – 02.21.12

The SmarK SUPER SmackDown Rant – 02.21.12

LIVE from somewhere not mentioned.

Your hosts are Michael Cole, Josh Matthews & Booker T.

Daniel Bryan and AJ start us out, as Bryan gloats about main-eventing Wrestlemania.  Although “main event” is a bit of a stretch given he’ll be fourth from the top at best.  He claims to be the real Rocky story, but the Miz interrupts.  Whoa, dig the STAR POWER.  Miz takes credit for Bryan’s development into a star and wants to form a team, but now Sheamus interrupts.  Miz is mortified, but Bryan attacks Sheamus and runs off, leaving Miz to get walloped.

Sheamus v. The Miz

Apparently Teddy Long booked the match during the break.  We join it in progress with Sheamus holding an armbar, and dumping Miz to the apron for the forearms.  Sheamus slingshots in with a shoulderblock for two, but Miz necksnaps him.  Sheamus misses a charge and hits the floor off that, allowing Miz to work the arm for a bit and hit the running corner clothesline.  Double axehandle off the top gets two, and they slug it out, but Sheamus comes back with elbows and his own corner clothesline.  Backbreaker gets two.  Miz gets the neckbreaker for two and sets up for the Finale, but Sheamus escapes and misses the big kick.  Emerald Frozen finishes at 5:55, however.  I’m guessing they can just call that the Emerald Isle and they’re golden.  Fine TV match.  **1/2  Miz really needs something different to do at this point, though, because he’s going to get stuck in the wrestling equivalent of the Friend Zone and never escape.

Meanwhile, Aksana continues putting the moves on Teddy Long, but Big Johnny and his lawyer interrupt.  So Teddy announces that their office is the men’s room tonight.  Oh, burn.

Kofi Kingston & R-Truth v. Dolph Ziggler & Jack Swagger

Must suck to be the Usos.  WWE is so desperate for tag teams that they throw R-BOOM together on RAW to bolster it, and the Usos still can’t even get off Superstars.  Swagger quickly gets the pump splash on Truth for two, and Ziggler drops the elbow and does situps.  Blind charge misses and Kofi gets the hot tag and runs wild, hitting a high cross on Dolph for two.  It’s BONZO GONZO and Truth takes yet another hard dump to the floor, allowing Ziggler to finish Kofi with the Zig Zag at 2:43.  I think this was actually Ziggler’s first win in something like two months, although I don’t get why you put the new team over the tag champs one night and then job them to another heel team the next night.

Meanwhile, Santino is training with the Cobra, but Heath Slater interrupts and gets spit on.  By the sock.  Yeah.  Luckily, Michael Cole helpfully points out that this was funny.

The Great Khali v. Drew McIntyre

Still not fired, I see.  Khali squashes the shit out of him at 0:27 with the tree slam.  This McIntyre storyline makes no sense.  So Teddy Long, weeks ago, says that he needs to win or he’s fired.  So he loses and loses and loses and loses and loses and loses and loses…and then nothing, he’s still there, and still losing, and now there’s not even any stakes to it, he’s just a guy who loses.  So what was the point?

Meanwhile, Big Show is really quite upset at Cody Rhodes.  They still need to get to Shaq for Wrestlemania, so maybe they’ll go with Show & Shaq v. Cody & Barrett instead?

Big Show v. Mark Henry

Good god, let poor Mark take a month off and heal.  Show hammers him in the corner but misses the knockout punch, and Henry pounds him down to take over.  Mark steps on him and chokes him out on the ropes, laying down some quality trash-talk.  Henry misses a blind charge and Show comes back with clotheslines and the spear, but Cody Rhodes interrupts.  For some reason, Show stops wrestling and stands there staring while Cody shows a video of Show v. Akebono at Wrestlemania 21.  And he turns around into a slam and splash for two.  Henry must have the WORLD’S STRONGEST GROIN if he can bodyslam a guy with his injuries.  Show, however, puts Henry down with the Kassius Ohno punch and that match just stops at 5:00 or so with no winner announced.  What the fuck kind of finish was that?  *1/2

Ezekial Jackson v. David Otunga

As much as they do the fake laughter for dumb stuff, Johnny Ace coming out and doing the Teddy Long dance with no music is legitimately hilarious.  And Zeke cuts a DROP IN PROMO before the match so we know he means business.  Hopefully he lasts longer than 90 seconds this time then.  Otunga pounds away, but Zeke gets a pair of clotheslines in the corner followed by a splash.  Otunga escapes the torture rack by grabbing the ropes, and finishes with the spinebuster at 1:14.  So no, in fact Zeke lost even faster this time.  ½*  I think perhaps Teddy Long should consider upgrading his avatar in this feud.

Meanwhile, CM Punk talks up Teddy Long and hypes the main event tonight.

Daniel Bryan v. CM Punk

We’ve got half an hour left so that’s gotta be a good sign.  Michael Cole goes crazy for a “Twitter War” between Punk and Chris Brown, which is apparently about how Brown wants Hacksaw Duggan and Bret Hart to come back or something.  Hey, how about Punk & Rihanna v. Brown & Eve Torres for Wrestlemania!  They trade headlocks while Cole once again talks about how “#1 trend worldwide” means “most talked about subject on Twitter”, which is completely a lie.  That is totally incorrect and they are pathetic trying to make it sound like it’s true.  We take a break and return with Bryan hurting Punk’s arm and working on it in the corner, but a blind charge misses.  Punk whiffs on a springboard bodyblock, landing right on the arm to hurt it further.  By the way, add “developing story” to my list of annoying Michael Cole-isms.  It joins “building momentum” among many others.  Bryan throws the kicks, but Punk slugs back with forearms until Bryan takes him down by the arm again.  Bryan gets a nice dick heel move, grinding his knee into Punk’s face on the mat, before going to the surfboard hold.  Punk fights out of that with a backbreaker and either blows out his knee in the process or does a spectacular job of faking it.  That was just sloppy.  Apparently he’s fine because he fights back with the high kicks and tries the GTS, but Bryan goes the arm to escape and then exits the ring.  Sheamus tosses him back in and Punk finishes with the high kick at 9:42.  BUT WAIT!  Executive Vice President of Talent Relations and Interim GM of RAW Johnny Ace WILL NOT STAND for this injustice, and the match MUST CONTINUE.  He’s got a point.  So we take a break and return with Bryan getting a rollup and holding the ropes for the pin at 11:32.  BUT WAIT!  Teddy Long continues wrecking a perfectly good match with overbooking bullshit and he also decrees that the match MUST CONTINUE.   Punk hits a tope suicida and back in for a springboard clothesline that gets two.  Back in, Bryan takes over again and gets a dropkick into the corner for two.  Top rope rana is reversed by Punk on the way down for two, and Punk blocks the seated kicks with a rollup for two.  Bryan reverses that into the Lebell Lock, but Punk escapes with the catapult and levels him with the high kick for two.  Punk goes up for the big elbow, but Bryan crotches him and they fight for the superplex attempt.  Punk puts him down twice, but Bryan just won’t die and finally gets his superplex…which Punk immediately turns into a small package for the pin at 17:29.  However, both shoulders were down, so apparently there’s no winner here either.  Long and Ace argue over it, and for some reason Long is endorsing Punk while Ace is endorsing Bryan, which is bizarre because you’d think they’d support the champions of their own show, personal feelings aside.  At least that’s what HHH told us a couple of weeks ago.  Anyway, great match, STUPID ending.  These were some spectacularly bad finishes tonight, although it’s tough to ruin Punk v. Bryan.  ****

The Pulse:

This was basically RAW part 2, and the entire show was god-awful up until the main event saved it, so please do yourself a favor and seek out that match, and feel free to ignore the rest of this crappy show.

 

The SmarK SUPER SMACKDOWN Rant – 02.21.12

The SmarK SUPER SmackDown Rant – 02.21.12

LIVE from somewhere not mentioned.

Your hosts are Michael Cole, Josh Matthews & Booker T.

Daniel Bryan and AJ start us out, as Bryan gloats about main-eventing Wrestlemania.  Although “main event” is a bit of a stretch given he’ll be fourth from the top at best.  He claims to be the real Rocky story, but the Miz interrupts.  Whoa, dig the STAR POWER.  Miz takes credit for Bryan’s development into a star and wants to form a team, but now Sheamus interrupts.  Miz is mortified, but Bryan attacks Sheamus and runs off, leaving Miz to get walloped.

Sheamus v. The Miz

Apparently Teddy Long booked the match during the break.  We join it in progress with Sheamus holding an armbar, and dumping Miz to the apron for the forearms.  Sheamus slingshots in with a shoulderblock for two, but Miz necksnaps him.  Sheamus misses a charge and hits the floor off that, allowing Miz to work the arm for a bit and hit the running corner clothesline.  Double axehandle off the top gets two, and they slug it out, but Sheamus comes back with elbows and his own corner clothesline.  Backbreaker gets two.  Miz gets the neckbreaker for two and sets up for the Finale, but Sheamus escapes and misses the big kick.  Emerald Frozen finishes at 5:55, however.  I’m guessing they can just call that the Emerald Isle and they’re golden.  Fine TV match.  **1/2  Miz really needs something different to do at this point, though, because he’s going to get stuck in the wrestling equivalent of the Friend Zone and never escape.

Meanwhile, Aksana continues putting the moves on Teddy Long, but Big Johnny and his lawyer interrupt.  So Teddy announces that their office is the men’s room tonight.  Oh, burn.

Kofi Kingston & R-Truth v. Dolph Ziggler & Jack Swagger

Must suck to be the Usos.  WWE is so desperate for tag teams that they throw R-BOOM together on RAW to bolster it, and the Usos still can’t even get off Superstars.  Swagger quickly gets the pump splash on Truth for two, and Ziggler drops the elbow and does situps.  Blind charge misses and Kofi gets the hot tag and runs wild, hitting a high cross on Dolph for two.  It’s BONZO GONZO and Truth takes yet another hard dump to the floor, allowing Ziggler to finish Kofi with the Zig Zag at 2:43.  I think this was actually Ziggler’s first win in something like two months, although I don’t get why you put the new team over the tag champs one night and then job them to another heel team the next night.

Meanwhile, Santino is training with the Cobra, but Heath Slater interrupts and gets spit on.  By the sock.  Yeah.  Luckily, Michael Cole helpfully points out that this was funny.

The Great Khali v. Drew McIntyre

Still not fired, I see.  Khali squashes the shit out of him at 0:27 with the tree slam.  This McIntyre storyline makes no sense.  So Teddy Long, weeks ago, says that he needs to win or he’s fired.  So he loses and loses and loses and loses and loses and loses and loses…and then nothing, he’s still there, and still losing, and now there’s not even any stakes to it, he’s just a guy who loses.  So what was the point?

Meanwhile, Big Show is really quite upset at Cody Rhodes.  They still need to get to Shaq for Wrestlemania, so maybe they’ll go with Show & Shaq v. Cody & Barrett instead?

Big Show v. Mark Henry

Good god, let poor Mark take a month off and heal.  Show hammers him in the corner but misses the knockout punch, and Henry pounds him down to take over.  Mark steps on him and chokes him out on the ropes, laying down some quality trash-talk.  Henry misses a blind charge and Show comes back with clotheslines and the spear, but Cody Rhodes interrupts.  For some reason, Show stops wrestling and stands there staring while Cody shows a video of Show v. Akebono at Wrestlemania 21.  And he turns around into a slam and splash for two.  Henry must have the WORLD’S STRONGEST GROIN if he can bodyslam a guy with his injuries.  Show, however, puts Henry down with the Kassius Ohno punch and that match just stops at 5:00 or so with no winner announced.  What the fuck kind of finish was that?  *1/2

Ezekial Jackson v. David Otunga

As much as they do the fake laughter for dumb stuff, Johnny Ace coming out and doing the Teddy Long dance with no music is legitimately hilarious.  And Zeke cuts a DROP IN PROMO before the match so we know he means business.  Hopefully he lasts longer than 90 seconds this time then.  Otunga pounds away, but Zeke gets a pair of clotheslines in the corner followed by a splash.  Otunga escapes the torture rack by grabbing the ropes, and finishes with the spinebuster at 1:14.  So no, in fact Zeke lost even faster this time.  ½*  I think perhaps Teddy Long should consider upgrading his avatar in this feud.

Meanwhile, CM Punk talks up Teddy Long and hypes the main event tonight.

Daniel Bryan v. CM Punk

We’ve got half an hour left so that’s gotta be a good sign.  Michael Cole goes crazy for a “Twitter War” between Punk and Chris Brown, which is apparently about how Brown wants Hacksaw Duggan and Bret Hart to come back or something.  Hey, how about Punk & Rihanna v. Brown & Eve Torres for Wrestlemania!  They trade headlocks while Cole once again talks about how “#1 trend worldwide” means “most talked about subject on Twitter”, which is completely a lie.  That is totally incorrect and they are pathetic trying to make it sound like it’s true.  We take a break and return with Bryan hurting Punk’s arm and working on it in the corner, but a blind charge misses.  Punk whiffs on a springboard bodyblock, landing right on the arm to hurt it further.  By the way, add “developing story” to my list of annoying Michael Cole-isms.  It joins “building momentum” among many others.  Bryan throws the kicks, but Punk slugs back with forearms until Bryan takes him down by the arm again.  Bryan gets a nice dick heel move, grinding his knee into Punk’s face on the mat, before going to the surfboard hold.  Punk fights out of that with a backbreaker and either blows out his knee in the process or does a spectacular job of faking it.  That was just sloppy.  Apparently he’s fine because he fights back with the high kicks and tries the GTS, but Bryan goes the arm to escape and then exits the ring.  Sheamus tosses him back in and Punk finishes with the high kick at 9:42.  BUT WAIT!  Executive Vice President of Talent Relations and Interim GM of RAW Johnny Ace WILL NOT STAND for this injustice, and the match MUST CONTINUE.  He’s got a point.  So we take a break and return with Bryan getting a rollup and holding the ropes for the pin at 11:32.  BUT WAIT!  Teddy Long continues wrecking a perfectly good match with overbooking bullshit and he also decrees that the match MUST CONTINUE.   Punk hits a tope suicida and back in for a springboard clothesline that gets two.  Back in, Bryan takes over again and gets a dropkick into the corner for two.  Top rope rana is reversed by Punk on the way down for two, and Punk blocks the seated kicks with a rollup for two.  Bryan reverses that into the Lebell Lock, but Punk escapes with the catapult and levels him with the high kick for two.  Punk goes up for the big elbow, but Bryan crotches him and they fight for the superplex attempt.  Punk puts him down twice, but Bryan just won’t die and finally gets his superplex…which Punk immediately turns into a small package for the pin at 17:29.  However, both shoulders were down, so apparently there’s no winner here either.  Long and Ace argue over it, and for some reason Long is endorsing Punk while Ace is endorsing Bryan, which is bizarre because you’d think they’d support the champions of their own show, personal feelings aside.  At least that’s what HHH told us a couple of weeks ago.  Anyway, great match, STUPID ending.  These were some spectacularly bad finishes tonight, although it’s tough to ruin Punk v. Bryan.  ****

The Pulse:

This was basically RAW part 2, and the entire show was god-awful up until the main event saved it, so please do yourself a favor and seek out that match, and feel free to ignore the rest of this crappy show.

 

The SmarK SUPER SMACKDOWN Rant – 02.21.12

The SmarK SUPER SmackDown Rant – 02.21.12

LIVE from somewhere not mentioned.

Your hosts are Michael Cole, Josh Matthews & Booker T.

Daniel Bryan and AJ start us out, as Bryan gloats about main-eventing Wrestlemania.  Although “main event” is a bit of a stretch given he’ll be fourth from the top at best.  He claims to be the real Rocky story, but the Miz interrupts.  Whoa, dig the STAR POWER.  Miz takes credit for Bryan’s development into a star and wants to form a team, but now Sheamus interrupts.  Miz is mortified, but Bryan attacks Sheamus and runs off, leaving Miz to get walloped.

Sheamus v. The Miz

Apparently Teddy Long booked the match during the break.  We join it in progress with Sheamus holding an armbar, and dumping Miz to the apron for the forearms.  Sheamus slingshots in with a shoulderblock for two, but Miz necksnaps him.  Sheamus misses a charge and hits the floor off that, allowing Miz to work the arm for a bit and hit the running corner clothesline.  Double axehandle off the top gets two, and they slug it out, but Sheamus comes back with elbows and his own corner clothesline.  Backbreaker gets two.  Miz gets the neckbreaker for two and sets up for the Finale, but Sheamus escapes and misses the big kick.  Emerald Frozen finishes at 5:55, however.  I’m guessing they can just call that the Emerald Isle and they’re golden.  Fine TV match.  **1/2  Miz really needs something different to do at this point, though, because he’s going to get stuck in the wrestling equivalent of the Friend Zone and never escape.

Meanwhile, Aksana continues putting the moves on Teddy Long, but Big Johnny and his lawyer interrupt.  So Teddy announces that their office is the men’s room tonight.  Oh, burn.

Kofi Kingston & R-Truth v. Dolph Ziggler & Jack Swagger

Must suck to be the Usos.  WWE is so desperate for tag teams that they throw R-BOOM together on RAW to bolster it, and the Usos still can’t even get off Superstars.  Swagger quickly gets the pump splash on Truth for two, and Ziggler drops the elbow and does situps.  Blind charge misses and Kofi gets the hot tag and runs wild, hitting a high cross on Dolph for two.  It’s BONZO GONZO and Truth takes yet another hard dump to the floor, allowing Ziggler to finish Kofi with the Zig Zag at 2:43.  I think this was actually Ziggler’s first win in something like two months, although I don’t get why you put the new team over the tag champs one night and then job them to another heel team the next night.

Meanwhile, Santino is training with the Cobra, but Heath Slater interrupts and gets spit on.  By the sock.  Yeah.  Luckily, Michael Cole helpfully points out that this was funny.

The Great Khali v. Drew McIntyre

Still not fired, I see.  Khali squashes the shit out of him at 0:27 with the tree slam.  This McIntyre storyline makes no sense.  So Teddy Long, weeks ago, says that he needs to win or he’s fired.  So he loses and loses and loses and loses and loses and loses and loses…and then nothing, he’s still there, and still losing, and now there’s not even any stakes to it, he’s just a guy who loses.  So what was the point?

Meanwhile, Big Show is really quite upset at Cody Rhodes.  They still need to get to Shaq for Wrestlemania, so maybe they’ll go with Show & Shaq v. Cody & Barrett instead?

Big Show v. Mark Henry

Good god, let poor Mark take a month off and heal.  Show hammers him in the corner but misses the knockout punch, and Henry pounds him down to take over.  Mark steps on him and chokes him out on the ropes, laying down some quality trash-talk.  Henry misses a blind charge and Show comes back with clotheslines and the spear, but Cody Rhodes interrupts.  For some reason, Show stops wrestling and stands there staring while Cody shows a video of Show v. Akebono at Wrestlemania 21.  And he turns around into a slam and splash for two.  Henry must have the WORLD’S STRONGEST GROIN if he can bodyslam a guy with his injuries.  Show, however, puts Henry down with the Kassius Ohno punch and that match just stops at 5:00 or so with no winner announced.  What the fuck kind of finish was that?  *1/2

Ezekial Jackson v. David Otunga

As much as they do the fake laughter for dumb stuff, Johnny Ace coming out and doing the Teddy Long dance with no music is legitimately hilarious.  And Zeke cuts a DROP IN PROMO before the match so we know he means business.  Hopefully he lasts longer than 90 seconds this time then.  Otunga pounds away, but Zeke gets a pair of clotheslines in the corner followed by a splash.  Otunga escapes the torture rack by grabbing the ropes, and finishes with the spinebuster at 1:14.  So no, in fact Zeke lost even faster this time.  ½*  I think perhaps Teddy Long should consider upgrading his avatar in this feud.

Meanwhile, CM Punk talks up Teddy Long and hypes the main event tonight.

Daniel Bryan v. CM Punk

We’ve got half an hour left so that’s gotta be a good sign.  Michael Cole goes crazy for a “Twitter War” between Punk and Chris Brown, which is apparently about how Brown wants Hacksaw Duggan and Bret Hart to come back or something.  Hey, how about Punk & Rihanna v. Brown & Eve Torres for Wrestlemania!  They trade headlocks while Cole once again talks about how “#1 trend worldwide” means “most talked about subject on Twitter”, which is completely a lie.  That is totally incorrect and they are pathetic trying to make it sound like it’s true.  We take a break and return with Bryan hurting Punk’s arm and working on it in the corner, but a blind charge misses.  Punk whiffs on a springboard bodyblock, landing right on the arm to hurt it further.  By the way, add “developing story” to my list of annoying Michael Cole-isms.  It joins “building momentum” among many others.  Bryan throws the kicks, but Punk slugs back with forearms until Bryan takes him down by the arm again.  Bryan gets a nice dick heel move, grinding his knee into Punk’s face on the mat, before going to the surfboard hold.  Punk fights out of that with a backbreaker and either blows out his knee in the process or does a spectacular job of faking it.  That was just sloppy.  Apparently he’s fine because he fights back with the high kicks and tries the GTS, but Bryan goes the arm to escape and then exits the ring.  Sheamus tosses him back in and Punk finishes with the high kick at 9:42.  BUT WAIT!  Executive Vice President of Talent Relations and Interim GM of RAW Johnny Ace WILL NOT STAND for this injustice, and the match MUST CONTINUE.  He’s got a point.  So we take a break and return with Bryan getting a rollup and holding the ropes for the pin at 11:32.  BUT WAIT!  Teddy Long continues wrecking a perfectly good match with overbooking bullshit and he also decrees that the match MUST CONTINUE.   Punk hits a tope suicida and back in for a springboard clothesline that gets two.  Back in, Bryan takes over again and gets a dropkick into the corner for two.  Top rope rana is reversed by Punk on the way down for two, and Punk blocks the seated kicks with a rollup for two.  Bryan reverses that into the Lebell Lock, but Punk escapes with the catapult and levels him with the high kick for two.  Punk goes up for the big elbow, but Bryan crotches him and they fight for the superplex attempt.  Punk puts him down twice, but Bryan just won’t die and finally gets his superplex…which Punk immediately turns into a small package for the pin at 17:29.  However, both shoulders were down, so apparently there’s no winner here either.  Long and Ace argue over it, and for some reason Long is endorsing Punk while Ace is endorsing Bryan, which is bizarre because you’d think they’d support the champions of their own show, personal feelings aside.  At least that’s what HHH told us a couple of weeks ago.  Anyway, great match, STUPID ending.  These were some spectacularly bad finishes tonight, although it’s tough to ruin Punk v. Bryan.  ****

The Pulse:

This was basically RAW part 2, and the entire show was god-awful up until the main event saved it, so please do yourself a favor and seek out that match, and feel free to ignore the rest of this crappy show.

 

Smackdown – February 21, 2012 (Live Tuesday Show)

Smackdown
Date: February 21, 2012
Location: BMO Harris Bank Center, Rockford, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

Reviewed by Tommy Hall

We’re live tonight which was announced pretty quickly last night. The main event is Bryan vs. Punk II which will likely result in some run ins. Last night we had a good main event where Jericho got the world title shot. Other than half the roster winding up in the hospital, I thought it came off pretty well. These live shows are usually pretty good so hopefully they can continue that trend. Let’s get to it.

Big Show vs. Mark Henry again tonight. Why couldn’t Henry go in the Chamber again?

Here are Bryan and AJ to open the show. He says no one believed him no matter what he’s said but now he’s heading to the main event of Wrestlemania! As for Santino, he was trying to channel Rocky Balboa but Bryan is a role model who beat everyone on Sunday. Bryan says you all want Rocky, so YO AJ! I DID IT!!! The fans want Punk. Bryan talks about how Sunday was his moment but Sheamus ruined it. Well at Mania, Bryan is going to ruin Sheamus’ moment by being victorious.

Bryan keeps talking and here’s…..Miz? He can’t believe Bryan really is champion but Bryan is wrong. Miz believed that he’d become a world champion too and it’s because of his mentoring. He isn’t out here to steal the spotlight or for thanks. He’s here to offer his congratulations. Miz thinks that after Wrestlemania, they should form a tag team. Cue Sheamus to cut him off.

Sheamus congratulates Bryan, but for being a hypocrite. He’s no role model but rather just a coward. Bryan would rather hide behind a skirt than fight like a man. After Wrestlemania, everyone is going to say that Bryan got exactly what he deserved. Miz gets in Sheamus’ face and says that Sheamus should be taken down a notch or two. Sheamus says let the guys with a match at Wrestlemania talk. Bryan slaps Sheamus and runs but Miz jumps Sheamus. Miz is sent to the floor and I think we have our second main event tonight.

Sheamus vs. The Miz

Or we have a match we join in progress after the break. Sheamus is in control and hits the forearms in the ropes to send Miz to the floor. Back in the slingshot shoulder gets two. Miz avoids a charge and Sheamus’ shoulder goes into the post. Single arm DDT gets two. Miz hooks a quick arm hold but Sheamus comes back with his running double axes. Irish Curse gets two and Sheamus doesn’t seem that bothered.

Miz comes back with a Reality Check as Booker won’t quite say if he thinks Sheamus will win the title at the PPV or not. Here comes the Finale but Sheamus throws him out of it. Brogue Kick misses and Sheamus rolls him up for two. That new move that Sheamus has been using (needs a name) gets the pin at 6:00 shown.

Rating: C+. This was another good outing for Sheamus. Building him up by having him beat the entire upper midcard by Mania is fine and he’s beaten Mark Henry and Miz on back to back nights. Not a great match or anything but Sheamus looked strong and it’s not like this loss hurts Miz.

Teddy and Aksana are in the back and their usual stuff is done. Ace and Otunga are here and Teddy says that he has a special office for them. It’s the men’s room. Otunga vs. Jackson again tonight if I understood things right.

R-Truth/Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger

Truth and Swagger start things off. Truth does his gyrating dance and gets taken down by a shoulder block by Jack. Vader Bomb gets two. Off to Ziggler who hooks that cross face chicken wing of his. Ziggler misses his splash and Truth brings in Kofi to speed things up. Kofi keeps selling the injuries from the Chamber. It’s good to see that Dolph is alive after that landing last night. Top rope cross body hits Dolph but Swagger makes the save. Swagger and Truth are knocked to the floor and Vickie slips on the floor. Back in the ring Ziggler pokes Kofi in the eye and the Zig Zag gets the pin at 2:43. So why put them over the champs?

Preview for some SyFy show.

Ron Simmons HOF video.

Santino does some target practice with The Cobra on some plastic cups. Heath Slater comes in and shoves them away. The Cobra spits something at Slater’s eyes and then does it again.

Great Khali vs. Drew McIntyre

Drew is yelling at the commentators before the match. He begs off Khali and then shoves him. Chop, Plunge, 32 seconds.

Clip of the end of the battle royal last night with Show being eliminated because of Cody.

Big Show says Cody is on the top of his list, just like Show is on the top of Henry’s list. Show is going to snap Cody’s neck no matter where he gets his hands on him.

Big Show vs. Mark Henry

Show knocked Henry out on Monday to set this up. Show splashes him in the corner quickly and loads up the right hand but Henry ducks. A clothesline takes Show down and Henry is in early control. Henry yells a lot at Big Show and says this is his house and all that jazz. Show gets a boot up in the corner and some clotheslines to put Henry down. He hits a spear and calls for the chokeslam, but here’s Rhodes.

He says it must not be Wrestlemania if he’s going to chokeslam someone. Cody talks about Show facing Akebono at Wrestlemania and we get a clip from the show. In the middle of this match mind you. By clip I mean a full video package of the match against the sumo guy. Henry pops up and slams Show, followed by a splash for two. The WMD puts Henry out and Show goes after Cody. I guess we call it a countout at about 5:00.

Rating: D. The match was the usual non-PPV showcase from these guys. The video package in the middle stopped things cold and the lack of an ending (could Show really not get a quick pin?) made it even worse. I guess maybe they’re really not going with Big Show vs. Shaq at Mania? It doesn’t seem like it at least. This was pretty strange.

Recap of HHH and Undertaker last night.

Ezekiel Jackson vs. David Otunga

For the dozen of you that demanded the rematch! Lillian screws up a bunch of the entrance for Otunga and Laurinits. Otunga gets in him in a dragon sleeper position and pounds away on the chest but Jackson runs him over with a shoulder. He hits the clotheslines and a splash in the corner, followed by a backbreaker. There’s the Torture Rack but Otunga makes the ropes. Otunga guillotines him on the top and the spinebuster ends this at 1:21.

Otunga poses after the match.

Another preview for the Syfy show.

Here’s ANOTHER video from last night, this time about Eve’s heel turn.

Punk says nothing of note but he’ll beat Bryan tonight.

Daniel Bryan vs. CM Punk

It’s 9:34 when Bryan comes out so this is either going to go very long or there’s something else ending the show. The crowd is very pro-Punk. They go to the mat and exchange a lot of counters. A stalemate takes us to a break. Back with Bryan holding a headlock which Punk escapes pretty quickly. Bryan goes after the arm and Punk sells it perfectly. Bryan kicks him in the chest and punk keeps sitting up.

Punk finally comes back with a suplex and both guys are down. Here comes the comeback via the kicks but his neckbreaker can’t work because of the arm. See, THAT’S a huge difference in selling: you can’t use certain moves because of the injuries. Bryan ducks the high kick and tries to leave, but Sheamus throws him back in and the high kick to the head gets the pin at 10:00.

And never mind as here’s Ace to say keep the match going. Punk takes him down and we take another break. Back with Daniel in control and working over the arm some more. During the break, Punk made fun of Bryan’s celebrations. Bryan rolls up Punk out of nowhere and grabs the rope for a pin at 14:27. Now say it with me: Teddy comes out and says restart it again.

unk kicks him to the floor and hits a suicide dive followed by the springboard clothesline for two. Bryan takes over and hits his kicks, followed by a top rope rana. Punk rolls through into a sunset flip for two. More kicks by Bryan but Punk blocks one. Bryan counters the counter into the LeBell Lock but Punk escapes again. High kick gets two. Punk goes up for the Macho Elbow, only to get crotched. Superplex is countered twice but Bryan finally hits it on the third attempt, all the way from the top. Punk does the old interlock the feet but it’s a double pin at 21:47.

Rating: B. Well you knew this wasn’t going to have a clean winner. I’m glad that it wasn’t because of interference though because that would have been totally predictable. This keeps both guys looking strong and at least does it in a way we haven’t seen a million times in the past year. I didn’t like it as good as their first one but it’s still good.

Post match, Ace and Teddy raise their respective guy’s hands (Teddy for Punk and Ace for Bryan). The bosses get into it and Ace throws his jacket at Teddy, making him leave to end the show with a staredown.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a better show than most they’ve had lately but it felt like a supplement to Raw than its own show. With the Brand Split meaning practically nothing around this time of year, Smackdown gets nothing to work with at all. The main event was good but it was obvious that it was going to have no definitive ending. On Raw the lack of wrestling was ok because it was added by a lot of angles and development. That didn’t happen tonight for the most part, making this a weaker show overall, but still good.

Results
Sheamus b. The Miz – Celtic Cross
Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger b. Kofi Kingston/R-Truth – Zig Zag to Kingston
Great Khali b. Drew McIntyre – Punjabi Plunge
Mark Henry b. Big Show via countout
David Otunga b. Ezekiel Jackson – Spinebuster
CM Punk and Daniel Bryan wrestled to a draw when both were pinned at the same time

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The King's Recap: WWF Smackdown 4.05.2001

WWF SMACKDOWN
Thursday, April 5th, 2001

Taped (4/4) from the Marriot Convention Center in Oklahoma City, OK

List of WWF Champions at the time:
WWF World Heavyweight Champion: Stone Cold Steve Austin (4/01/2001)
WWF Intercontinental Champion: Chris Jericho (1/21/2001)
WWF World Tag Team Champions: Edge & Christian (4/01/2001)
WWF European Champion: Eddie Guerrero (4/01/2001)
WWF Hardcore Champion: Kane (4/01/2001)
WWF Women’s Champion: Chyna (4/01/2001)
WWF Light Heavyweight Champion: Crash Holly (3/18/2001)

~ Smackdown comes on the air and goes right to the intro with Michael Cole and Tazz welcoming us to the show. Tonight Jim Ross has a special interview with Steve Austin and maybe we’ll finally gets some answers for his actions. Also tonight Triple H challenges Chris Jericho for the Intercontinential Championship, which I have a bad feeling about.

  • The Undertaker & Kane vs. Steven Richards, Bull Buchanan & The Goofather3-on-2 Handicap Match

This resulted from Kane retaining his Hardcore Title against fellow RTC’er Val Venis on Raw and Taker saving him from a mugging. Richards gets on the mic and rants on how the RTC can’t allow the media to desensitize our youth to violence just like they can’t allow the fans to make heroes out of villians and promises to put an end to them. Buchanan and Goodfather rush the ring but Taker and Kane get the advantage and toss them over the ropes. Taker then goes out after Richards on the floor and throws him in the ring where Kane grabs him by the throat. Buchanan breaks up the chokeslam and pounds Kane then goes for a whip but Kane counters with a clothesline. Kane pummels Buchanan then whips him into the a corner and clotheslines him beofre hitting a sidewalk slam. Kane climbs to the top rope and connects with the flying clothesline then covers him but Goodfather saves it. Taker tags in to take over and goes for a whip, Buchanan reverses it but Taker comes back with a clothesline. Taker grabs Buchanan’s arm and walks the top rope then clubs him in the back and hits a Russian legsweep. Goodfather comes in again and Taker hammers away at him but the RTC’ers double-team Taker in their corner. Richards tags in just as Taker fights out of the corner and Richards backs away but eats a pair of hard rights. Taker whips Richards into a corner and plants him with a powerslam then covers but Goodfather saves it again. Everyone is in now as Kane and Buchanan go at it in a corner while Goodfather gets in his offense on Taker. Taker grabs Goodfather by the throat as Kane does the same to Buchanan and they hit simultaneous chokeslams. Richards nails Kane with the Stevenkick … but Kane no-sells it and nails Richards with a big boot. Taker then takes Richards out with the Last Ride for good measure and scores the pin. (4:18) The RTC pretty much got dismantled there, which would makr the beginning of the end of that stable. *

~ Backstage Vince McMahon gives Undertaker and Kane props while Triple H and Steve Austin seem unimpressed. Triple H admits Chris Jericho has some good qualities but he’s going to beat him up and take his title out of prinicple. Vince next asks Austin about being interviewed by his best friend Jim Ross in the ring in front of JR’s hometown and Austin says he hasn’t had a good heart-to-heart talk with JR in some time so he’s really looking forward to it. Vince then says he has to go out and address an arena of Oklahomans (oh joy!) and departs as we go to commercial.

~ Back from break Vince struts his way to the ring because he just has to get in his long-winded promo as usual. Vince gets on the mic and starts off saying he’s been to all fifty states but being in Oklahoma is like being in Zimbabwe because he’s seen the vacant stares of Oklahomans and it’s the same look from Zimbabwe natives. Vince also figures the founders named both the city and the state the same due to the people’s limited mental facilities. Vince next mentions Richard Nixon is no longer the U.S. President just as The Rock is no longer the WWF Champion. Vince mentions what a moment it was seeing Steve Austin beat Rock into oblivion at Wrestlemania and taking his title and that Rock was flat on his back after being pinned 1-2-3 when he saw himself and Austin shaking hands. Vince also says he was prouder the next night when Austin granted Rock his rematch in a cage when he didn’t have to. Vince says Rock was broken by Austin again and this time he saw himself, Austin and Triple H all standing together. Vince says people have wondered why and may just get their answers as Oklahoma’s own JR interviwes Austin later. Vince then reviews the closing moments of the match and how Rock seemed to have no hope as Austin brutalized him. Vince also shows Triple H coming out and how everyone though he was going to help Rock only to show otherwise. Vince then asks fans if expect Rock to come out and get some retribution before saying he won’t even be here tonight, because if Rock showed up Austin and Triple H would destroy him again and do it again night after night. Vince announces that to prevent that in an act of benevolence he has suspend Rock from WWF action indefinitely! Vince claims he did that in the interest of fairness then wraps things up and heads out after 10 minutes.

~ We then get a shot of JR watching this on a monitor and shaking his head as we go to commercial.

~ Back form break Cole and Tazz talk about five new champions being crowned at Wrestlemania as we get stills. Cole and Tazz especially touch on Chyna returning from her neck injury and destroying Ivory for the Women’s Title. Just in case we cared.

~ Speaking of which Johnathan Coachman interviews the new Women’s Champion about her crowning acheivement. Chyna talks on the inspiring example she set for women as well as for men, that you have to be your own person. Chyna says she fought for who she is and for what she belives in and that she is proud to be Women’s Champion.

~ We next get footage of William Regal meeting with the Hardys and puts over their performance at Wrestlemania. Regal then mentions them meeting Shane on Smackdown, warning then against associating with a rival organization. As a result Regal decides to have Jeff compete in singles action tonight … against The Big Show.

~ Backstage Lillian Garcia interviews Jim Ross about what he’s going to ask Steve Austin in the big interview later. JR says the fans deserve some answers after what happened Sunday so he’s going to be asking some tough questions.

~ Back from break William Regal meets with Kurt Angle about their handicap match with Chris Benoit tonight. Angle thanks Regal for the match tonight before asking that he finish Benoit off by putting him in the Anklelock. Regal feels his Regal Stretch could get the job done as well and Angle chuckles, until he realizes Regal was serious.

  • Rhyno vs. K-Kwik

That sure was a lot of non-wrestling segments just to get to this bout. Rhyno pounds K-Kwik to start then whips him into a corner and shoulderblocks him and hits a running boot. Rhyno continues his assault on K-Kwik then whips him when K-Kwik comes back with a Memphis Sidekick. K-Kwik gets in his offense goes for a whip, Rhyno reverses but K-Kwik hits him with a flying headscissors thenkips back up and does a spilt. K-Kwik goes for a whip when Rhyno reverses him into a corner. K-Kwik lifts himself over Rhyno and does some backflips but Rhyno stops that with the Gore and it’s over. (1:26) The age-old method of getting someone over: have him destroy jobbers quickly. NR

Rhyno celebrates as he heads up the ramp when Crash punks Rhyno out from behind and rolls him in the ring. Crash goes for a whip but Rhyno reverses and takes Crash out with the Gore for the second time this week.

~ Kurt Angle and William Regal are shown making their way to the ring as we go to commercial.

~ Back from break we get a replay of Crash trying to get a piece of Rhyno with the results not ending in his favor. We then get ‘during the break’ footage of Edge and Christian congradulating Rhyno for the destruction job he did. Christian suggests Rhyno shower so they can grab a bite but Rhyno is ready to head out now and offers to drive.

  • Chris Benoit vs. William Regal & Kurt AngleHandicap Match

Angle and Regal battled Chris Jericho in a handicap match on Raw with Chirsn BEnoit getting involved, so it’s Benoit’s turn tonight. Benoit goes right after Angle to start but Regal pounces on him then whips him and connects with an elbow. Angle grabs Benoit with a waistlock but Benoit kicks him below the belt then goes for the Crossface on Regal. Angle breaks it up and goes for a whip but Benoit German suplexes him then hits Regal with a German as well. Benoit plants Angle with another German suplex then does the same to Regal and gets both men a third time. The crowd actually cheers for Benoit as he fights off Regal then throws Angle shoulder-first into the ringpost. Benoit then goes to whip Regal who counters it but Benoit counters back and plants him with a Dragon suplex. Benoit slaps the Crossface on Regal but breaks it when Angle flies in to save it and puts him in the Crossface! Regal makes the save and hits a European uppercut that knocks Benoit right into a German suplex from Angle. Regal hits a butterfly suplex and Angle follows it up with a suplex then helps Regal lay the boots to Benoit. Angle and Regal whip Benoit but Benoit ducks a doubel clothesline and nails Regal with another German suplex. Angle comes back with a belly-to-belly suplex then celebrates allowing Regal to put Benoit in the Regal Stretch. Agle adds in the Anklelock and Benoit is forced to tap out to both submission holds. (2:59) Pretty good stuff for a three-minute bout and it got the ball rolling on Benoit’s face turn. **

Regal releases his hold but Angle won’t let go of the Anklelock and Regal is in no hurry to break it up. A bunch of referees come in but can’t get Angle to let go of Benoit and again Regal just shurgs his shoulders. But as expected Chris Jericho runs in and stomps Angle out to the floor then shares another glance with Benoit.

~ Backstage Vince meets with JR about how meeting with Steve Austin will be biggest interview he’ll ever have. Vince tells JR not to be nervous and just be himself, all while daring him to ask Austin “the tough questions”.

~ Back from break Kevin Kelly interviews Debra on Steve Austin destroying Rock and asks if she has any sympathy for Rock, since she is Rock’s former manager. Debra says what happened was unfair and uncalled for and Kevin feels that means Debra must disapprove of her husband’s actions but Debra refuses to discuss her personal life. Kevin then asks Debra how she views Austin profesonally but Debra refuses to answer that as well and walks off.

  • The Big Show vs. Jeff Hardy (w/Matt Hardy & Lita)

Jeff slides under Show in the ring and comes off the ropes but Show presses him up before dropping him. Show whips Jeff hard into a corner and headbutts him then hits some elbows and caps it off with a chokebomb. Show hits another headbutt then whips Jeff but Jeff hits a dropkick that staggers Show but he doesn’t go down. Jeff comes off the ropes again but Show plants him with a belly-to-belly suplex then decks Matt off the apron. Show goes out and press slams Matt on the barricaide then turns toward Lita and chases her in the ring. Lita slips out to the floor as the referee warns Show to worry about his opponent but Show shoves him aside. Lita climbs to the top rope and leaps off but Show catches her in a choke and looks ready to chokeslam her. Jeff nails Show to save Lita but Show slams Jeff then climbs to the top rope and goes for a senton but misses. Lita comes to the top rope and hits a moonsault while Matt also climbs to the top and hits a guillotine legdrop. Jeff goes to the top and hits the Swanton Bomb and all three pile on Show as the referee quick counts the pin! (3:08) The Hardys, Lita and the referee then flee up the ramp while Show chases after them to the back. Definitely a weird match, one I can’t rate. NR

~ Back from break we get a replay of Jeff Hardy getting an upset win over Big Show with Matt and Lita helping out. We then find Show roaming the backstage area searching for the Hardys when he comes across a room and barges in. However Show finds The Undertaker and Kane instead as they work him over before telling him to knock next time.

  • X-Factor vs. Grandmaster Sexay, Steve Blackman & Billy Gunn

X-Pac stole a win over Billy on Raw with the help of his pas so here’s Billy’s chance at payback. Don’t know why he recruited thses guys, though. Billy and his partners go at it with X-Factor to start off and quickly clear Credible and X-Pac from the ring. Billy and Blackman suplex Albert up while Sexay cilmbs to the top rope and adds in a flying crossbody. Albert rolls out to the floor as well and X-Pac’s crew try to regroup when Sexay brings X-Pac in the hard way. Sexay goes for a whip when X-Pac reverses it, Sexay slides under him and hits an enzuigiri but misses a fistdrop. Credible tags in but Sexay greets him with a neckbreaker then tags in Blackman who whips him and drops him. Blackman whips Credible and hits a shouldertackle then does a one-arm pushup and gets in a shot on X-Pac. Blackman goes to kick Albert but Albert catches it allowing X-Pac to nail him with a spinning heelkick. X-Pac draws Billy in to distract the referee but Sexay comes in and knocks Albert and X-Pac’s heads together. Sexay goes out to the apron and dives at Albert but Albert catches him and rams him back-first into the post. Back in the ring X-Pac hammers away on Blackman and hits a legdrop then tags Credible in to take over on him. Albert tags in and whips Blackman looking for a hiptoss but Blackman lands on his feet and kicks away at him. Albert comes back with a bodyblock then whips Blackman into a corner and connects with the Avalanche. Albert slingshots Blackman into the middle rope then tags X-Pac in and X-Pac gets in some quick shots. Credible tags in and helps X-Pac whips Blackman but Blackman ducks a clothesline and dropkicks both men. Billy gets the tag and takes to all three opponents then whips X-Pac and plants him with a tilt-o-whirl slam. Credible nails Billy from behind and goes for a whip but Billy reverses and nails him with The One And Only. Albert comes in and Billy clotheslines him over the ropes but X-Pac clotheslines Billy over the ropes in return. Blackman pulls X-Pac out to the floor while Sexay climbs to the top and nails Credible with the Hip Hop Drop. Billy comes back in the ring and covers Credible since he’s the legal man but Albert makes it back in to save it. Blackman fights off Albert but X-Pac drills Billy with the X-Factor then drapes Credible on top for the pin. (4:51) About what you’d expect from the guys involved. *

~ Backstage Chris Jericho is limbering up for his title defense when Stephanie comes in and wishes him luck. Stephanie tells Jericho she’s not petty enough to want revenge for him ruining her whipping match with Trish on Raw. Stephanie says Triple H will get her payback for her by beating Jericho to within an inch of his life and taking his title. Jericho then warns Stephanie not to interefere in his match or he’ll make her scream louder that her husband ever has.

~ Back from break Vince tells Austin how JR is shaking in his boots which means he’s either excited or intimidated. Vince asks Austin to make JR’s homecoming special and Austin calls JR a special person so he’ll get special answers. Austin then heads out when Stephanie comes in claiming to have just received a videotape from Linda McMahon but feels Vince shouldn’t watch it with the good night he’s having. Vince insists that she play the tape for him and once it starts Linda appears on the screen showing that’s she’s no longer medicated, just like at Wrestlemania. Linda says she’s regained her full mental faulties and as a result is back into her normal position as CEO of the WWF. Linda says she’s still using the name McMahon but after everything Vince has done to her, she’s considering a change. Linda also puts Shane over for standing up for what he believes in and facing Vince, as difficult as it may have been. Linda talks about how good it felt at Wrestlemania when she rose from the chair and kicked Vince right in the junk but knows how to kick Vince where it really hurt and will appear on Raw to reveal where that place just is. Linda then has one more message for Vince as Mick Foley appears and hands her a plate with a pair of grapefruits. Linda says Vince always lets his actions speak louder than words then grabs a knife and slices the grapefruits in half. Linda finishes by telling Vince she’ll see him on Monday and Vince isn’t happy with this news.

~ Jim Ross is shown making his way to the ring which means the big interview is coming up as we go to commercial.

~ Back from break JR hits the ring as Cole mentions how depressed JR has been abotu this whole Austin situation. JR gets on the mic and talks about being back in is hometown then mentions his oppertunity to speak with Austin. JR feels there’s a not of questions that need answering by Ausitn then proceeds to bring out the new champion himself. Austin does his usualy posing on the turnbkles while glaring at JR and does get some boos as well as “Rocky” chants. JR starts off by asking Austin why he would align himself with the man he despises more than anyone in the world. Austin says Wrestlemania was right in his backyard of Houston and he didn’t want to take a chance at being a loser so Vince was an insurance policy which helped him make the biggest comeback in the history of thier business. JR then asks about turning his back on the fans that supported him and Austin mentions the reception he’s getting now. Austin says he feels no remores because he never really said that he cared about the fans and wanted to be their hero. Austin then brings up JR constantly cheering for him at the annouce desk before mentioning how he always says DTA. JR next asks Austin how he could stand with Triple H after he orchestrated the conspiracy to run him over with a car. Austin responds by first accusing JR of talking trash about Triple H because he’s not out there to defend himself. Austin then says if Triple H was sick enough to try and put him out of the business, wouldn’t he want him on his side? Austin decides that he’s done answering questions and if anyone wants more answers they’ll have to beat it out of him. Austin then makes fun of JR looking like he just lost his best friend and JR says that in a way, maybe he has.

JR goes into how he was there when Austin underwent spinal surgery last year and supported him through his recovery. JR also mentions how he and his wife were the only two people from the WWF invited to Austin’s wedding with Debra. Austin then accuses JR of not wanting to be his friend anymore just because he turned up the voltage and JR denies it. Austin knocks JR’s cowboy hat off and takes off his glasses then rips his shirt while daring JR to take a swing at him. JR declines to hit Austin then feels this interview was a mistake and starts to leave when Austin jump him from behind. Austin pounds away on JR when Vince comes out on the stage asking why Austin is taking it easy on his best friend. Vince tells Austin to open JR up and Austin brutalizes his former friend who’s soon bleeding from the forehead. Austin pulls off his belt and chokes JR as some referees come out but are to afriad to go in the ring and stop Austin. Austin stomps JR below the belt as the fans chant “Rocky” but The Rock isn’t coming out to the save the day tonight. Austin rubs his title belt in JR’s face then heads up the ramp with a smile on his face as we go to commercial.

Let’s look at this for a second. Austin did make a good point in saying he never asked to be the fans hero, they just started cheering him, even long before the famous match at Wrestlemania 13. However his explanation for suddenly being buddies with Triple H still doesn’t hold water, not after their blood feud just a few months prior. And Austin giving JR a Stunner would have been sufficient but they had to have JR get totally destroyed, which was very uncomfortable and showed how desparate the WWF was to get people to stop cheering Austin.

~ Back from break we get a replay of Steve Austin severing his friendship with JR with a savage beatdown. We then get a shot of the EMTs working on the bloodied JR in the back.

  • WWF Intercontinential Title: Chris Jericho © vs. Triple H (w/Stephanie McMahon)

Suppsoedly Triple H is doing this because Jericho ruined Stephanie’s whipping match with trish on Raw. Yea, let’s make everything about Stephanie, shall we? Triple H heads out to the ring first then knocks Jericho off the apron, sending him face-first into the barricade. Triple H goes out and throws Jericho into the steps then drops him onto the barrier and tosses him in the ring. Triple H stomps Jericho down then whips him into the other corner but Jericho comes back with a clothesline. Jericho gets in his offense with some chops then whips Triple H but lowers the head and Triple H kicks the face. Jericho backdrops Triple H over the ropes then knocks him back off the apron with the springboard dropkick. Jericho climbs to the top rope and connects with a flying crossbody before whipping Triple H into the steps. Jericho decks Triple H onto the announce table and works him over until Triple H shoves him off the table. Jericho throws Triple H back in the ring then climbs to the top rope again looking for a missile dropkick. This time Triple H swats Jericho away and Jericho clutches his knee when Triple H chokes him in the ropes. Triple H distracts the referee while Stpehanie gets in a slap then drills Jericho with a DDT and gets a two count. Triple H hammers Jericho with the count-along punches in a corner then whips him and slaps on a sleeperhold. Jeircho begins to fade but fights out of it and starts to rally until Triple stops that with a knee to the chest. Triple H whips Jericho but Jericho comes back with a flying forearm then tries to fight back again with chops. Jericho whips Triple H but lowers the head and Triple H hits the facebuster. Triple H sets Jericho up for the Pedigree but Jericho counters it and catapults Triple H into the turnbuckles then hits the bulldog and the Lionsault. Jericho covers Triple H but Stephanie hops on the apron and distracts the referee from making the count.

Jericho goes over and grabs Stephanie by the hair then rears back as if to punch her but Triple H pulls him away. Jericho takes Triple H down into the Walls of Jericho and Triple H taps but again Stephanie distracts the referee. Now William Regal runs in with a chair in hand but Jericho cuts him off then grabs the chair and blasts Regal. Stephanie comes in but Jericho blocks a slap then pulls Stephanie down and puts her in the Walls of Jericho. Stephanie is tapping out to no avail but Triple H is able to grab the chair and whacks Jericho in the face with it. The referee gets Regal out of the ring then turns around as Triple H covers Jericho … but only gets a two count. Triple H is surprised that Jericho kicked out of the chairshot and crowd is cheering for Jericho to come back. However Triple H squashes that brief ray of hope with the Pedigree and sadly gets the 1..2..3 for the win. (7:30) The Helmsleys celebrate while we see Austin watching a monitor in the back looking pleased with this turnout. The match was good with an overbooked ending but there was NO REASON for Triple H to get the IC Title here. This could have been a chance to establish Jericho as the next major challenger Austin needed but they wanted to keep him feuding with Regal instead. Not to mention the ending slighty buried Jericho, with him kicking out of the chairshot only to lose to the Pedigree mere seconds later. **

Conclusion:Somewhat weak episode of Smackdown which continued the WWF’s post-Wrestlemania X7 slide that it never recovered from. The Wrestleing wasn’t very much to look at other than the handicap match and there were long stretches of backstage segments and promos. The last half-hour was a real downer, with JR’s graphic beatdown and Triple H taking a title he had no business of winning at that point. And we’re still left without a major babyface to challenge Austin since Rock is “indefinitely suspended” (i.e. off in Hollywood) and they feel like Jericho would fit the bill. It was obvious the Austin heel turn was poorly planned from the start and wouldn’t get any better. There’s really nothing to recommend here so thumbs down.

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Princess Pick: 2009 Smackdown Elimination Chamber

Two down, two to go, this ranting stuff is like riding a bike.

I was watching some old Royal Rumbles and I’m just curious how the 1990 Rumble never gets mentioned in the “best ever” category. It’s, at worst, a ****1/2 match. I get it, Hogan won and Mr. Perfect didn’t and that sucks for people that hate Hogan but the match is almost as good as the 1992 and the star power is damn near equal if not slightly better because guys like Andre, Dusty and Demolition were in it. There were a couple of moments that really stood out for me:

— When Piper entered (at No. 6 I believe) it set off a crazy two-minute sequence between Piper and Jake “The Snake” vs. Savage and DiBiase, which would have been a ridiculous tag match during that era – a crazy brawl at MSG or Boston that would have grown legendary on some Coliseum video compilation. The crowd exploded during this sequence and seemed to stay on their feet for the rest of the match.

— It was Andre’s last great performance. Even by his limited physical standards at that point he busted his ass in that match and sold for everyone. You ever want to see Andre selling offense from Bret Hart? It was in the 1990 Royal Rumble.

— The Hogan-Warrior showdown. Still cool 22 years later.

Anyway I think I’m alone in believing that’s a ***** match and at worse the third best Rumble in history. Just watch it again; it’s 60 minutes of awesome. I promise. Princess would never, ever, ever lie.

Smackdown Elimination Chamber from No Way Out 2009

Event held on February 15, 2009 from Seattle, Washington

Hosted by Jim Ross and Tazz

WWE Championship Elimination Chamber: Edge, The Undertaker, Triple H, Vladimir Kozlov, Jeff Hardy and The Big Show

Wow, remember the days when Kozlov was getting a main event push? He absolutely stunk during that phase but he gradually got better, at least good enough to be functional, and then they release him. Same thing happened to Chris Masters, who didn’t stink as bad, but still got better with time. It doesn’t always make sense to me. I guess it didn’t help that Kozlov looked like a cross between Eddie Munster and Jay Leno on HGH.

Undertaker, Big Show, Kozlov and Triple H get the pod treatment, which sort of sucks for Edge since he was the champion going into this thing. He will start the match with Jeff Hardy. Five minute intervals again.

Hardy jumps on Edge to start, hitting two sit-down clotheslines but Edge with a huge boot to end the rally. Crowd with a chant for Hardy already – a precursor to his big push in later months. Edge chokes Hardy on the middle rope and lands a splash for two. Hardy rallies with a head scissors, inverted atomic drop, double-legged splash, low dropkick combo. Hardy goes for the twist of fate but Edge tries to counter with the Edge-u-cation which is countered back into the twist of fate. These two had chemistry for the ages even though you knew who was going to win every encounter. Hardy goes for the swanton but Edge wisely scoots out of the way. Edge goes for the spear but Hardy catches him in a small package for three! Holy crap, I forgot they jobbed Edge out in four minutes. Everyone in the pods is highly entertained by this and Edge throws an awesome temper tantrum. Oh well, he figures out a loop hole later in the night. 10 seconds until next entrant.

Kozlov is next and he kicks Hardy right in the face. Kozlov’s issue was he only knew a few moves regardless of the situation and couldn’t sell so it was up to the guy he was in the ring with to make him functional. Luckily Hardy sells like a champion as Kozlov’s wide array of shoulder blocks seem effective. Kozlov tosses Hardy in the cage a couple times and gives him a fall away slam back inside the ropes for a two count. Kozlov drapes Hardy on the top rope, headbutts him a few times in the back and hits another fall away slam for two. Backbreaker from Kozlov gets two and now a bearhug. Hardy fights to his feet and fights out of the hold but a shoulderblock grounds him again. Kozlov with a running power…nope Hardy escapes and dropkicks him into the corner. Hardy with a slingshot double-leg kick in the corner that gets two. Hardy with the whisper in the wind as we hit the ten second mark.

Big Show is next and he just steps over Kozlov to abuse Hardy. Show with a headbutt and Kozlov joins in on the action as the guys decide to team up and beat down Hardy to the dismay of the crowd. Show with a body shot, Kozlov with a body shot as it’s a battle of one upsmanship. Show with a body slam on Hardy and now Kozlov with a body slam on Hardy. The pace of the match has slowed tremendously. Hardy tries to fight back but Show stops it with a headbutt. Kozlov with an elbow drop. Show adds a big chop as the two bigger men size each other up for a second and then decide to continue their abuse on Hardy. Kozlov makes the first move, knocking Show down with a battering ram and Show takes exception to it. Big man slugfest that Show wins but Kozlov blocks the suplex. Show misses an avalanche and Kozlov lands the shoulders as we hit the 10 second mark.

Triple H is in and it’s game time. Let the knees fly! Knee smasher for Show, the Harley high knee for Kozlov. Massive spinebuster on Show and Hardy tries to stop the rally so HHH clotheslines the shit out of him. Kozlov charges and HHH ducks and lets him go flying out of the ring. HHH sends Kozlov into the cage and goes for the pedigree on the steel but Show drags HHH back into the ring and roughs him up in the corner. Crowd chanting for HHH. Show with a sidewalk slam on HHH gets two, Kozlov roughing up Hardy in the corner. Kozlov with his 40th elbow drop of the match on Hardy. Crowd ready to see the Undertaker. Show goes for the chokeslam but HHH fights out only to run into a press slam. Show and HHH go out to the steel platform and Show sends HHH into the cage. Show avalanches HHH and then catches Hardy trying to sneak attack him and sends him into the cage. Show tries to avalanche both men but misses. Hardy and HHH back in the ring and give Kozlov a double suplex. Hardy and HHH fight each other and Hardy hits a whisper in the wind as we are down to 10 seconds.

Here comes Mr. McCool and it’s a rare time that five of the six are in the match. Usually they max out at four. Undertaker goes right after Show and then beats up on Kozlov, who botches the hell out of snake eyes. How the fuck do you botch that move? Undertaker dominating and was about to hit a double chokeslam on Hardy and HHH until Show interferes. Flying clothesline for Show and Undertaker takes HHH to old…nope he audible and jumps onto Show, who was ready but Taker still hits the DDT on the steel. Now he takes HHH to the old school. Big boot for Hardy but Kozlov hits a shitty spear and goes back to the shoulder blocks. I tell you Kozlov keeps it close to the vest. He gives Undertaker some corner punches and that’s not a smart move because about 30 seconds later he takes his last ride and heads back to the USSR. Show chokeslams Undertaker. HHH tries for a pedigree and Show back drops him over the ropes and on to the steel. Hardy tries to attack Show and he catches him and sends him into HHH. Show sends HHH into the steel and tries to do the same with Hardy but Hardy sticks the landing and climbs the pod. Show climbs after him and Undertaker climbs after Show. Undertaker with a superplex on Show and HHH hits a pedigree on the prone show while Hardy recovers and hits the swanton from the top of the pod! HHH covers Show for three and we’re down to three!

Undertaker escapes Hardy’s whisper in the wind and starts brawling with HHH, sending him over the corner and out onto the steel again. Undertaker tries to go old school again but HHH shakes the ropes from the outside and knocks Undertaker off. Hardy uses the Undertaker’s prone body to do a leap of faith on HHH but gets caught with the tombstone on his way back in to end his night and a hell of an effort. Down to two.

HHH charges and Undertaker hits him with the big boot and roughs him up in the corner but HHH escapes a running big boot and they go tumbling to the steel. HHH sends Undertaker into the cage and back into the ring. HHH to the top and he jumps right into a chokeslam for a near fall. HHH tries to rally but Undertaker hits snake eyes, however, HHH catches him with a spinebuster coming off the ropes. I love when two guys know each other’s moveset so well they can use logical counters. The spinebuster gets two. We go back out to the steel as the crowd has dueling chants, which is pretty cool and appropriate as it was split 50/50 for this segment. HHH goes for a pedigree on the outside but Undertaker counters with a slingshot into the cage. Undertaker goes for a tombstone, HHH counters and they flip into the ring but Undertaker counters THAT and hits the tombstone but HHH’s foot is on the ropes at two and three-quarters. HHH hits a pedigree out of desperation and THAT only gets two. They stand and slug it out in an epic scene. Undertaker wins the slugfest but HHH sends him into the corner and does corner punches, Undertaker tries for the last ride but HHH escapes and hits the pedigree for three! Holy shit that was an awesome finish!

(HHH wins Elimination Chamber via pinfall over Undertaker, ****1/2, once Kozlov was gone that sucker got damn good. I remember wanting to see Undertaker-HHH at Wrestlemania after this short encounter. Unfortunately we got Shawn Michaels instead and…well…that didn’t suck either. As for those of you wondering about Edge he would sneak attack Kofi Kingston before the World Championship match, take his spot and win that title.)

Smackdown – February 17, 2012

Smackdown
Date: February 17, 2012
Location: Save Mart Center, Fresno, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

Reviewed by Tommy Hall

This is the final show before the Elimination Chamber. By the time you read this you’ll know that Orton is out of the Chamber so tonight it’s all about finding a replacement. Other than that, I wouldn’t expect a ton of stuff to be talked about. I mean it’s not like there needs to be stories for a show like this. Why should the writers need to waste time on character development or plots when they can just throw everyone in a cage and put their feet up for three weeks? Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about the Show vs. Orton match from Raw. That Super DDT was kind of cool. Bryan hit Orton twice with the belt which gave him a concussion. I’ve heard conflicting reports about whether that’s a legit injury or if he was injured somewhere else and that’s their story for taking him out.

Orton is in Teddy’s office and Teddy says its out of both of their hands. Teddy can’t let him compete because he’s not medically cleared. Security is going to escort him out of the building because Teddy is concerned about his health. We’re officially told that Orton is out of the Chamber.

Do you know your enemy? Mine is procrastination.

Big Show/Great Khali vs. Wade Barrett/Cody Rhodes

Now Barrett and Rhodes lost last week, so the logical move would be to have them win here to get their heat back going into the Chamber. Barrett starts with Khali. Wade tries to kick him in the side but Khali shoves him down. Khali chops him in the corner so Barrett tags out. Cody has even less luck and tags out also.

Before he leaves though he kicks Khali in the knee which lets Barrett kick him in the head to knock him down. Cody hooks a quick chinlock but Khali shrugs him off and tags in Big Show. He cleans house and spears Barrett down. Cody gets knocked out of the air and the chokeslam pins Wade clean at 3:32.

Rating: D. This was a squash. The guy that didn’t lose a match all of the end of last year and the Intercontinental Champion just got squashed by Big Show and Great Khali. This is what people mean when they talk about pushes starting nice and strong and then getting dropped. Barrett has gone from the top choice to be a breakout star to a guy getting squashed by Big Show in the span of 6 weeks. That’s pathetic and a big reason why there are practically no new stars being made. Also, why in the world would I buy them as having a chance in the Chamber now?

Big Show knocks Khali out post match.

Teddy is on the phone and says he doesn’t know what he’s going to do about the empty spot. Henry shows up and says he wants the spot. Teddy looks like he’s thinking about it. Big Show comes in before Teddy answers and says he wants Daniel Bryan tonight. Henry says wait your turn. Show knocks him out too. He tells Teddy to give him what he wants and then destroys Teddy’s office.

Video on the UAE tour.

Teddy tells security to wait for Big Show to calm down and then escort him out of the building. One of the guards says no way so Teddy says he’ll call for backup.

Ted DiBiase vs. Hunico

Ted’s cast is smaller this week. Hopefully this is the end of the dull feud. Hunico beats him into the corner to start but Teddy counters and beats him down as well. Big boot gets two for DiBiase. Hunico works on Ted’s bad arm/wrist but DiBiase slams him to the mat. DiBiase dropkicks him out of the air but Camacho hits DiBiase, allowing Hunico to roll him up and grab the tights for the pin at 1:45. Now GET THEM SOMETHING NEW TO DO!

Short version of the Shawn/HHH/Undertaker segment from Raw.

Usos vs. Epico/Primo

Great. ANOTHER match we’ve seen twice already. Primo and Jey start us off. The Usos double team to get control but Jimmy goes to the corner and Primo slams him off. He gets double teamed in the champions’ corner as Booker and Cole get into it again. Cole was doing well about staying on focus to start too.

Primo hooks a chinlock but misses a corner dropkick, tying him up in the Tree of Woe. There’s the tag to Jay as well as Epico. The crowd is into the Usos, as usual. The Umaga running corner shot misses but a Samoan Drop gets two. Backstabber by Primo misses and there’s the superkick. Jey’s Superfly Splash hits knees and the Backstabber gets the pin at 4:45.

Rating: D+. I’d be fine with Primo and Epico as champions if they weren’t so boring. That’s the problem I have with them: there’s nothing interesting about them at all. Rosa is interesting because she’s fun to watch shaking her hips but other than that, there’s nothing about this team that makes me want to watch them. With the Usos at least you get the Siva Tao which catches your attention. Epico and Primo will probably hold the belts for months too.

Big Show has left the arena willingly.

Bryan is here.

Video on the Chamber.

Here’s Bryan in the arena. Bryan says on Monday he got two for one. We see a clip of Bryan hitting Orton and Show with the title on Raw. He says that if either of them had any guts, they’d be out here facing him right now. However they’re both afraid. Everyone is afraid of Daniel Bryan. Everyone is afraid of tapping out because he just keeps winning. He’s proven all of us wrong and he’ll do it again on Sunday. He would have won tonight and he’ll win on Sunday. Orton isn’t here but he wants Lillian to announce him as the winner via forfeit. She does and Bryan does the huge celebration to his music.

Here’s Teddy to say hold on a minute playa. He says Bryan hasn’t competed yet, which is what everyone wants to see. It won’t be Orton, but there’s a volunteer to take his place.

Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan

Sheamus takes him down with a headlock and works on the arm to open up. Bryan comes back with some kicks but Sheamus punches him in the ribs. There are the ten forearms in the rope and thankfully they stopped calling it whatever that Irish word they had given it. Bryan tries to walk out but Sheamus runs him over. Bryan gets up on the apron and hits the running knee to the head. Back in and Bryan hits a dropkick to the ribs.

Sheamus fires back with right hands but Bryan picks the ankle to stop him. A running low dropkick in the corner gives the champion control again. This is the most offense anyone has gotten in on Sheamus in months. He blocks the kicks and makes his comeback, hitting a powerslam for two.

Irish Curse is countered into a LeBell Lock attempt. Sheamus rolls out of it but Bryan escapes the Celtic Cross. Sheamus goes after him in the corner and Bryan slaps him. The referee pulls him back and I think Bryan spits on him (the camera cut away) and that’s enough for Sheamus to throw the referee down for the DQ at 6:45.

Rating: C. This was fairly dull but it was obvious they weren’t going to give us a full on Bryan vs. Sheamus match. They would have been stupid to do that anyway as that’s a potential Mania title match. Granted that’s never stopped them before but you get the idea. The ending was a good choice as it plays up Bryan’s heel character while keeping Sheamus looking like he needs adjustments before he can go for the big one.

Barrett wants to know who Orton’s replacement is. Cody wants to know also. Teddy says there’s a battle royal tonight with anyone in WWE, from Raw to Smackdown to Superstars to NXT.

The Rock is a movie star! This is much shorter than the one on Raw, thank goodness.

Jinder Mahal vs. Ezekiel Jackson

Mahal hits a bunch of knees to the ribs as Cole suggests Johnny Curtis could head to the Chamber. Jackson runs him over in the corner and hits a side slam. The Rack is countered and Mahal hits a DDT. He hooks the camel clutch but Zeke gets out of it. A Downward Spiral sets up another camel clutch (how does that hurt the back any more?) which gets the tap at 2:06. Zeke is done. I mean he’s just DONE.

Tamina Snuka/Alicia Fox vs. Beth Phoenix/Natalya

Beth grabs Alicia to start and Fox dropkicks her down. Off to Natalya and we get a nice gymnastics demonstration from them. Natalya slides to the floor and comes back in to drop Fox for two. Beth adds in a kick to keep Fox in trouble. Natalya hooks the Sharpshooter… and the referee doesn’t see the tap because Natalya’s stupid gimmick makes him need a breath of fresh air. ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? It allows Tamina to come in and hit the Samoan Drop and Superfly Splash for the pin at 2:52. I hate the Divas because of stupid stuff like this. Seriously, if this is the best they can come up with for them, drop the division.

Tamina knocks Beth out post match but she avoids the splash.

Ace and Otunga come to see Teddy. Ace says the Chamber is about charisma and star power. He suggests just putting Otunga in the Chamber instead of having the battle royal. Teddy says Otunga has the stink of a lawyer. What’s with the smell nonsense on this show lately?

Recap of the Cena/Kane/Ryder stuff from Monday.

Battle Royal

I’m not going to try to list off everyone in it. Imagine every non-main event guy and he’s probably in this. Otunga gets his own entrance. The NXT guys are in there. Bateman is the first out and it’s a standard battle royal: everyone is fighting and there’s no point in talking about anything other than eliminations until we get down to about five people. Watson is gone. Titus and an Uso follow him. Drew gorilla presses Kidd out.

DiBiase low bridges Darren Young and they both hang on to the rope to avoid elimination. DiBiase kicks him in the stomach and Young is gone. The ring is clearing out a bit but there are still too many people to count. Hunico throws Tatsu out. DiBiase knocks Camacho out as does Gabriel to McGillicutty. We take a break and come back with not much having changed.

There are about twelve people left. Make that about eleven as Hawkins is out. Riley tries the TKO on either Epico or Primo for some reason but he gets double teamed and tossed. The champs try to do the same to Reks but decide that’s not good enough, so they throw Curtis at Reks to get rid of both of them. They throw the other Uso out as well, then Primo dumps Epico.

Ok it’s down to manageable now. Hunico dumps DiBiase but DiBiase pulls him out too to keep their feud going. Gabriel and Primo throw each other to the apron but both save themselves. The camera won’t stay on a wide shot long enough for me to list off everyone in still. The both go to the apron twice more until Gabriel finally knocks Primo to the floor. Jackson knocks Gabriel out too.

It’s Otunga, Jackson, Mahal (elimianted as I type that), McIntyre and Santino. Santino loads up the Cobra but Otunga and McIntyre jump him. Drew is running over everyone with big boots….and then Santino dumps him. Otunga tries to throw out Santino but Jackson saves him. The fans are all chanting for Santino and he ducks under Jackson to put him out.

It’s Santino vs. Otunga. Santino Italianadians up and hits the Cobra but Otunga gets in a right hand to stop the momentum. A horrible neckbreaker takes Marella down. He goes to throw Santino out but is reversed and eliminated to give Santino the win at 13:12 shown of 16:42. Cole: “WE REPLACED A VIPER WITH A COBRA???”

Rating: D. To get it out of the way, the battle royal was your classic bad battle royal which I’m sure you’ve all seen dozens of. Now let’s get to the big issue here: Santino Marella is going to be in a major match for the world title on a pay per view. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I like it. Now before I get into why, I completely accept the counter argument of “IT’S SANTINO.” That’s perfectly fine and I won’t put up much of a defense against that.

However, think of some of the major criticisms of the company as of late: no new names in the main event, no surprises, no listening to the fans. Santino addresses all of those and even if he’s a comedy guy, he’s not going to win the title. He’ll be in there maybe three minutes and Big Show will knock him out or something like that. Kids are now excited for him and he’ll add some comic relief to the match (which isn’t really needed but it’s there). Also, there’s a very good chance someone will take him out and get his spot anyway.

Santino celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The show wasn’t bad this week but it’s clear they’ve had no new ideas or thoughts since the Chamber was announced. Everything since then has been about gaining momentum going into the PPV, but the problem is that it doesn’t mean anything. It’s just winning matches against other people in the match which has no bearing on the Chamber match itself. Tonight was about adding someone new and they did that, but it’s a questionable choice to put it mildly. Not a very entertaining show and they booked themselves into that corner.

Results
Big Show/Great Khali b. Wade Barrett/Cody Rhodes – Chokeslam to Barrett
Hunico b. Ted DiBiase – Rollup
Primo/Epico b. The Usos – Backstabber to Jey Uso
Daniel Bryan b. Sheamus via DQ when Sheamus shoved the referee
Jinder Mahal b. Ezekiel Jackson – Camel Clutch
Tamina Snuka/Alicia Fox b. Beth Phoenix/Natalya – Superfly Splash to Natalya
Santino Marella won a battle royal last eliminating David Otunga

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Smackdown – February 10, 2012

Smackdown
Date: February 10, 2012
Location: BOK Center, Tulsa, Oklahoma
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

Tonight’s main event is Orton vs. Bryan in a non title match. That means the match should be a lot better as we have one of the best in ring workers in the world today in there and on the other side we have the world champion. It’ll be nice to see him against someone who isn’t a giant and someone who might be effected by Bryan’s offense. Let’s get to it.

Do you know your enemy? Mine is a snow storm that might slow down the airport.

Here’s Sheamus to open the show who talks about how he has to pick which champion to face at Mania. When he was a kid he was bullied but he started fighting back. He got better with each fight until he was good enough that he got here. Sheamus says he isn’t going to change his ways because they’ve gotten him this far. Cue Barrett who says that he respects Sheamusa bit but Sheamus needs to go for the Raw title. Sheamus says he was thinking about Orton beating Barrett all over the ring last week.

Cue Cody who says he knows what it’s like to be a champion. The Chamber is a tax on the mind and he’s the strongest mentally of all of them. He’ll be a double champion as well. Here’s Big Show who says he won’t tell Sheamus what to do. He will however tell Cody to shut up. Show won’t make promises about the Chamber but asks Sheamus to think about facing him at Mania for the title.

Barrett cuts Show off and calls him a Wrestlemania punchline because Snooki has a better record at Wrestlemania than Big Show. Cody calls him the reverse Undertaker. Show takes him down and a brawl erupts. Sheamus and Show clear the ring. Gee, I wonder if we’ll have a tag match for later?

Great Khali vs. Jinder Mahal

Mahal does a ceremonial headware removal thing. Total domination by Khali as he wins with the Punjabi Plunge in 2:05. See, this is what they should have been doing to build to the Chamber: have the participants beat up jobbers. As in, you know, having jobbers do what they’re supposed to do.

We get a video of Teddy indefinitely suspending Henry last week.

In the back, Aksana and Teddy do their usual thing with Aksana kissing Teddy on the cheek. Bryan comes in and doesn’t like what he sees. Aksana leaves and Bryan goes on a rant about the barbecue that Teddy held earlier. He talks about how it was dead animal flesh and charred meat. Teddy: “I put some of JR’s barbecue sauce on it. Tasted fine to me.” Bryan says that makes him sick so Teddy says stop trying to get out of facing Orton tonight.

Beth Phoenix vs. Alicia Fox

Beth sits on the ropes and tells Alicia to get out of her ring. Fox takes her to the corner but Beth shoves her away. Alicia tries a Matrix move but gets sledged down. Glam Slam pins her at 1:17.

Phoenix loads up another Glam Slam but Tamina runs out and stares at her for the save. Beth seems happy to finally have a challenger.

Another way too long video about how awesome Rock is.

More of the very stupid Natalya gimmick. I’m not going to bother going into what it is because it’s that awful.

Big Show/Sheamus vs. Wade Barrett/Cody Rhodes

The entrances are out of order for some reason, as it goes Show, Rhodes, Barrett, Sheamus. Show vs. Rhodes gets us going and Show barks him into tagging. Barrett gets tossed in and chopped to the floor so it’s back to Cody. Show loads up the right hand so Cody bails to the corner. Off to Barrett vs. Sheamus with Sheamus running him over very easily.

Barrett gets in a knee and tags Cody back in. The IC Champion has as much success as he did before as Sheamus throws him outside. We take a break and come back with Cody getting beaten up again. The rolling fireman’s carry slam gets two. The heels finally double team Show down with some High/Low action. A missile dropkick gets two for Cody. A chinlock is easily broken but Barrett chop blocks Show to break up the tag.

Barrett chinlocks him but Show just stands up and breaks it up with a ram into the corner. Cody comes in with the Beautiful Disaster for two before Show can make the tag. Show breaks up a chinlock and makes the tag to Sheamus. A pair of Brogue Kicks later and Sheamus gets the pin on Barrett at 9:24 shown of 12:54.

Rating: C. Not bad for a main event style tag match, but it sums up the problem with Big Show: there aren’t very many ways to make an attack on him believable. It’s the same problem that Bryan has had: no matter what he does, Show can shrug it off and hit one big punch to end a match. He works better as a heel in that regard, as most monsters do because it means you can see someone slay the giant.

Here’s AJ who says she should be back in a few weeks and competing in the spring. She thanks people who supported her….and Cole goes into jerk mode, talking about how no one knows who she is. Cole asks about Monday where Big Show almost ran her over again. AJ says it was an accident, but it’s been Cole that has made things worse than anyone else. He’s never believed in Bryan and he’s stirred things up.

AJ rips into Cole and says that the WWE would be a better place if he would just shut his mouth. Cole argues back and says everyone is saying that Bryan set AJ up to get hurt. Cole will be in his glory when Bryan loses. Cue Bryan who yells at Cole and then says that on Sunday, he took a nature walk instead of eating a bunch of meat and beer. After so many people did that, how many of them recycled? He cares about future generations and he cares about AJ. Due to the people being so mean to her, Bryan is leaving the arena to take AJ home. They’ll be leaving in a Prius as well.

They leave and Cole goes on a rant about Bryan. Is Cole supposed to be a face or a heel? I really don’t think they have any idea anymore either. Booker defends Bryan….I think?

Bryan and AJ are in the back and start to leave when Teddy comes up. He says he’ll be glad to find transportation for AJ, but if Bryan leaves he’ll be stripped of the title.

Ted DiBiase vs. Hunico

DiBiase still has a cast on his wrist which is now a hard cast instead of the soft one he had two weeks ago. DiBiase fights with the right arm and knocks Hunico to the floor with a clothesline. Camacho distracts Ted a bit and Hunico gets him to the floor and rams the bad wrist into the post. Hunico throws on a few submissions but DiBiase rolls him up as he tries a cross armbreaker for the pin at 2:42.

Don’t be a bully.

Video on the Chamber and how it leads to Wrestlemania.

We get an interview with Johnny Ace from Abu Dhabi where he says WWE is awesome and that’s about it.

Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton

Big Show is on commentary for this. This is their first meeting according to Cole. They jockey for position to start and Randy controls with an armbar. Bryan comes back with some offense of his own but no one can get a clear advantage. Randy heads to the floor and shoots a glare at Big Show. Bryan hits a baseball slide and the running knee off the apron to take Randy down and we take a break.

Back with Bryan working on the arm but Randy countering into the backbreaker to cause the separation. Bryan gets another shot into the arm but as he goes up, Randy crotches him. A superplex is broken up but Bryan’s top rope splash misses. Orton comes back with his powerslam but the elevated DDT is countered by a high kick. Bryan goes up and is crotched again and this time the superplex works, getting two.

Orton starts the Stomp as Cole asks Big Show how many Wrestlemania matches he’s won. Booker: “Will you just hit him in the mouth please?” Bryan comes back and hits a running dropkick in the corner. A bunch of kicks hit but Bryan gets rolled up for two. The rollup is countered into a LeBell Lock attempt but Randy counters that into a slingshot to send Bryan to the apron. Elevated DDT looks to set up the RKO but Bryan heads to the apron. He rolls to the floor and shoves Big Show, drawing the DQ at 10:05 shown of 13:35.

Rating: B. I was really getting into this match by the end. Orton seemingly can’t have a bad match anymore and Bryan is really getting better when he’s against normal sized guys like Orton here and Punk from a few weeks ago on Raw. The ending is fine because Bryan is afraid to get beaten or fight himself, but it’s getting old to see that every week.

Orton gets in Show’s face and Show shoves him. A big brawl ends the show as Bryan smiles. Cole gets the famous line of “it’s breaking loose in Tulsa” wrong by saying “it’s breaking down in Tulsa.” I’ve never heard the second of those but maybe it’s a correct one.

Overall Rating: B-. They’re in buildup mode for the Chamber and that’s what they needed to do. Everyone in the chamber was in action tonight and we have Bryan looking like a puppet master out there, which is something that he needs to be rather than the plucky babyface that escapes with the title. Good show, but not as good as Smackdown is capable of.

Results
Great Khali b. Jinder Mahal – Punjabi Plunge
Beth Phoenix b. Alicia Fox – Glam Slam
Big Show/Sheamus b. Cody Rhodes/Wade Barrett – Brogue Kick to Sheamus
Ted DiBiase b. Hunico – Rollup
Daniel Bryan b. Randy Orton via DQ when Big Show interfered

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Smackdown – February 3, 2012

Smackdown
Date: February 3, 2012
Location: Qwest Center Omaha, Omaha, Nebraska
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

Reviewed by Tommy Hall

Well I’m another year older and Smackdown hopefully is a little better than last week. Last year there really weren’t any long matches to be seen. Bryan is still champion and tonight we find out who he’ll be defending against inside the Smackdown Elimination Chamber. I think I like the three week build better for this as the match is set tonight so what’s the point in drawing it out when the Chamber sells the show? Let’s get to it.

Do you know your enemy? Mine is too much cake.

Teddy is in the ring to open the show. He says there’s going to be a Smackdown Elimination Chamber match as well and here are the participants: Bryan, Barrett, Big Show, Rhodes, Orton, Henry. Those are the top guys on the roster so I can’t really argue with them. After Teddy gives us a brief explanation of the rules, here’s Henry. He complains about having a one in six chance at the PPV and demands a title match one on one tonight. Teddy says be thankful you’re in after losing the cage.

He follows that up by saying Henry is out of the Chamber and gets no title match tonight. Henry gets in Teddy’s face so Teddy suspends him indefinitely. Henry says that if he’s suspended, he’s going to earn it and grabs Long’s tie. Cue Sheamus who makes the save. They stare each other down and Sheamus kicks his head off and Henry heads to the floor.

Henry leaves and Teddy asks Sheamus if he knows which champion he’ll face at Mania. Sheamus isn’t sure yet but will announce it after the Chamber. Cue Cody who says he did all the work in the Rumble and eliminated the most people but Sheamus got the win and the glory. Cody is going to take that momentum into the Chamber and become the first dual champion since the Ultimate Warrior. Teddy makes Sheamus vs. Rhodes right now.

Cody Rhodes vs. Sheamus

This is joined in progress after a break but I don’t think we missed much. Cody tries to come out of the corner but gets caught in a rolling fireman’s carry slam. Out to the floor with Sheamus still in control. Cody manages to dropkick him into the post and hits the Beautiful Disaster off the barricade. Moonsault press gets two for Cody and he hooks a crossface kind of move. Sheamus fires back and a powerslam gets two. They go up and Sheamus knocks Cody off and hits the flying shoulder. Brogue Kick misses as does the Beautiful Disaster and Sheamus loads up the move Finlay called the Celtic Cross for the pin at 5:17.

Rating: C. Was there really a reason for Sheamus to get another finisher? What exactly was wrong with kicking the guy’s head off? Anyway, good match to get Sheamus more momentum, although I could have gone without them having Cody lose again. Sheamus is the bigger star, but there are others he could do this to.

Cody is still at ringside after the break.

Justin Gabriel vs. Hunico

No match as Cody runs in for the beatdown and is joined by Hunico and Camacho. Khali comes out for the save. Hunico takes the Pubjabi Plunge.

Drew is in the back and Teddy says it’s too predictable when Drew is in the ring. Why does Drew have a job still? He leaves and Santino comes in. Santino comes in and suggests a new tag team: SantinHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Duggan comes in and we get stereo USA/ITALIA chants. They leave and Aksana comes in. Sex jokes are made and Duggan says HOOOOOOOO!

Mike Tyson Hall of Fame video.

Santino Marella/Jim Duggan vs. Epico/Hunico

Epico vs. Santino gets us going. Off to Duggan quickly who does nothing of note but clothesline. Back to Santino who does all of his usual stuff. Santino loads up Cobra but Rosa distracts him and the Backstabber from Primo ends him at 2:42.

Back from a break and Cole is in the ring to interview the champ. Cole says that he doesn’t like to admit it, but Bryan survived. Bryan takes the mic and says this is about him. He succeeded on Sunday and calls himself a role model. Bryan talks about how being a vegan is a good thing and the fans are killing themselves by eating meat. He says he’s healthier than everyone in the building without clogged arteries and a lack of heart failure. Everyone should be a vegan but the fans say he sucks.

It isn’t fair that he has to be in the Elimination Chamber, especially against someone that he’s dominated like Big Show. Big Show is a failure in both the ring and in life due to him running over AJ. If Teddy doesn’t take him out of the Chamber, Bryan is going to the Board of Directors and Teddy may join Johnny Ace on the unemployment line. So Ace is officially gone?

Cue Big Show who says he would have been here sooner but he was in the back finishing a steak. Bryan has been calling himself a role model but it doesn’t matter if you tell people that. Show says Bryan has been lucky and a pompous jerk. After the Chamber, he’ll still be a jerk but he won’t be champion anymore. Bryan pokes him in the chest and says that he’s overcome the odds over and over again. Show goes right at him and the beating is on. He chokeslams Bryan and AJ comes out in a neckbrace. She stops the big right hand and leaves. Bryan promises to keep her safe.

Beth and Natalya are doing Hindu squats and the stupid joke/gimmick that Natalya started last week continues. Give me a break.

Beth Phoenix/Natalya vs. Tamina/Aksana

Glam Slam pins Aksana in 43 seconds.

Tamina breaks up a Sharpshooter by Natalya post match with a superkick and hits a Superfly Splash to leave her holding her ribs.

Don’t be a bully.

Great Khali will replace Henry in the Chamber.

Five minute video on how awesome John Cena is.

Orton says he’ll win the Chamber match and beat whomever he has to beat.

Wade Barrett vs. Randy Orton

This is no disqualification. Bryan and AJ are watching from the back. They brawl to start as Booker calls Barrett a future Hall of Famer. Orton takes over with a suplex and hits the Stomp. Out to the floor and Barrett throws him into the barricade. Orton throws him back in and pulls out a table as we take a break. Back with Orton trying a superplex and being countered by Barrett who shoves him through it for two.

Barrett goes after the bad back of Orton by bending it around the post. Orton has his back rammed into the apron and they go back inside. Barrett hits a bunch of knees and a big boot to knock Randy right back to the floor. They go into the crowd for a bit with Orton hammering on Barrett even more. Back to ringside and Orton jumps off the apron with a double ax to the head.

Wade manages to reverse Orton into the steps and take over. He brings in a chair and tries for Wasteland but Orton escapes and clotheslines Barrett down. Now Orton gets the chair and pops Barrett over the back with it a bunch of times. The chair is wedged between the top and middle rope and Orton whips Barrett into it.

A dropkick puts Barrett down and they head to the floor again. Barrett takes more of a beating and back inside Orton hits the Elevated DDT. RKO is countered into the Winds of Change for two. Barrett loads up a pumphandle slam onto the chair but Orton counters and hits an RKO. He doesn’t cover though and moves the chair to the middle of the ring. RKO onto the chair ends this at 13:51 shown of 17:21.

Rating: C+. This was long and more of a beating by Orton than a match. I’m not sure why they had Barrett get taken down so hard here but it’s a pretty definitive ending to this feud. The match was fine and it’s not like Orton has destroyed Barrett the entire feud or anything. I liked it well enough and it was fine for a long TV main event.

AJ and Bryan are in the back and Teddy makes Bryan vs. Orton for next week. Bryan tells AJ to stay here where it’s safe and watch this. Bryan comes to the ring and celebrates while Orton is posing. The champ leaves and the celebration in the aisle ends the show.

Overall Rating: C+. It was a better show than last week and we definitely launched towards Elimination Chamber pretty strong. I like them having a lot of the Chamber guys in matches beforehand as you get good matches out of it and the matches have a built in backstory. The show was better than last week but not exactly a classic. Oh and on a side note: there was a Brodus match taped but there was no sign of it here.

Results
Sheamus b. Cody Rhodes – Inverted Emerald Flosion
Epico/Primo b. Jim Duggan/Santino Marella – Backstabber to Marella
Beth Phoenix/Natalya b. Tamina/Aksana – Glam Slam to Aksana
Randy Orton b. Wade Barrett – RKO onto a chair

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The Live Smackdown Thread

Dunno if anyone’s watching this show, but if you are and want a place to discuss it, have at it.  Last minute prediction from yours truly:  Mark Henry retains the title over Daniel Bryan, but Bryan hurts the leg so badly that Henry is unable to get up after the win.  Bryan cashes in the briefcase for an immediate rematch, but Michael Cole slams the cage door in his face to cost him the title and make him the first person to lose his MITB cash-in match. 

The Live Smackdown Thread

Dunno if anyone’s watching this show, but if you are and want a place to discuss it, have at it.  Last minute prediction from yours truly:  Mark Henry retains the title over Daniel Bryan, but Bryan hurts the leg so badly that Henry is unable to get up after the win.  Bryan cashes in the briefcase for an immediate rematch, but Michael Cole slams the cage door in his face to cost him the title and make him the first person to lose his MITB cash-in match. 

The Live Smackdown Thread

Dunno if anyone’s watching this show, but if you are and want a place to discuss it, have at it.  Last minute prediction from yours truly:  Mark Henry retains the title over Daniel Bryan, but Bryan hurts the leg so badly that Henry is unable to get up after the win.  Bryan cashes in the briefcase for an immediate rematch, but Michael Cole slams the cage door in his face to cost him the title and make him the first person to lose his MITB cash-in match.