We’re in Cincinnati, Ohio and last week Punk won a Fatal Four Way to earn a shot at John Morrison’s title. I’m in a rush so let’s get to it.
Let’s take a look at the relevant news from Powerslam Magazine before we watch this episode because WWE’s reputation was declining quicker than Rickety Cricket in Always Sunny:
Because I posted an old CZW show review on here (and important people read the Blog of Doom) the company behind ‘Sick’ Nick Mondo’s film The Trade sent me a review copy to have a look at, which is terribly nice of them. I watched Mondo’s earlier documentary Unscarred years ago but that was produced by people still in the mid-2000s mentality of STITCHES ARE FOR BITCHES, WEAR THE SCAR YEAHHH so let’s see what mature film-maker Matthew Burns (the man behind the sickness) can make for himself.
(Note: The subject matter is death matches, so if you’re not up for a bit of the old ultraviolence then don’t click.)
Featuring Great Balls of Fire, ambulances, NJPW commentating, Sabu vs. fans and Pokemon jokes.
Same intro but Manson’s gone (yay!) and been replaced by Don’t Question My Heart by Saliva. It’s an early version of the song though and sounds like The Deftones are belting it out. The proper version stuck around for years and was very hummable. Even Mike Adamle used the ”don’t question my heart” line in a promo and you know Adamle’s high standard.
Botchamania 346, featuring Raw, Smackdown, rap battles, PROGRESS (because they’ve been everywhere else this month), Crash Bandicoot music and Simpsons references.
We’re live in Mohegan Sun Casino with Coachman continuing his search for WHO IS VINCE’S KID. Oh and he casually introduces the new ECW GM, Armando Estrada. Armando says his name a few times and introduces John Morrison and CM Punk for the contract signing for Summerslam. ”Sitting on the chair next to me with your little tattoos is the closest you’re going to get to earthly paradise.” Morrison asks Punk to think about signing, after all he couldn’t last fifteen minutes with him last week. Punk says he’s right because he beat him before the fifteen minutes. What a stupid set-up bit to remind the audience about last week. Punk says he doesn’t fluff his wear like Farrah Fawcett or wear jackets in August, but he will be wearing the ECW Title after Summerslam. Armando stops them from coming to blows and gives them matches tonight with the ECW monsters. There was a lot happening here with Coach and Armando but the important thing is this:
I take a look back and see why exactly Jack Swagger’s 2010 run was crap.
If you don’t want to click, the short answer is ”it was supposed to be.”
Ft. Money In The Bank, The Ball Family, Tamina on the mic, hard tables, Simpsons references and everything else that makes wrestling great.
Also featuring the debut of Custom Thumbnails (oooo very 2015) and List Of Companies Included In Video And Where To Find Them, which will hopefully make some companies happy/less angry.
We have enough plot for a dramatic video recap of last week! Punk won a Three Way Dance last week to get a shot at John Morrison tonight in a Fifteen Minutes Of Fame match. If he wins, he gets a shot at the title at Summerslam. Simples.
We’re in Youngstown, Ohio and THIS IS THE NEW SHIT is back in the intro, so we can have more Manson discussion. Despite enjoying his music, I’ve always been annoyed at him daring to put out Smells Like Children as a full-priced album (that I paid full-price money for) when it was three covers, three remixes and some shit. I don’t care if you recorded Portrait Of An American Family, I’m glad Dita Von Teese left you.
State of WWE right now:
Great American Bash 2007 was this Sunday and had a bit of a rocky build. So Kane vs. Edge was scheduled but Edge ended up injuring his left pectoral muscle after Kane attacked him during the Mardi Gras celebration on the July 10 Smackdown. Edge was forced to vacate his title on the Smackdown before the PPV and a Battle Royal was held to crowd the new champ which was won by The Great Khali (who held the title upside down). The injury to Edge had the unexpected positive of avoiding the fallout from the upcoming Pharmacy Probe steroid scandal he was named in.
Also the announced Khali vs. Batista match was changed to Kane vs. Khali vs. Batista after Kane and Batista went to a non-finish on the same episode of Smackdown after Khali blundered in on their Number One Contender match. The good news was no-one was injured in the process, the bad news was the match happened.