We’re in Tuscon, Arizona and we start with a recap of last week. Well last week in ECW as there wasn’t a review last Sunday because it was Christmas so unless you wanted a recap of Muppets Christmas Carol and Eton Mess I couldn’t help you. On Raw, Vince picked Umaga and Trump picked Lashley for The Battle Of The Billionaires. On ECW, Vince put Lashley in a cage match against Hardcore Holly which Lashley won and dove through the cage onto Umaga. On Smackdown, Vince tries to out-bid Trump but Bobby tells him ”NO!” and gets slapped by Vince. You can tell they’re going all-in on Lashley when he’s on three times a week.
Show sadly starts with a In Memory Of Mike Awesome. Awesome had a mullet and wasn’t a great talker but was able to live up to his surname every night by being The Heavyweight That Flew Like A Cruiserweight in FMW and ECW where not being the total package wasn’t an issue. Paul Heyman made sure Awesome wasn’t cutting soliloquies and made sure to was pair him with super-bumpers like Masato Tanaka and Spike Dudley so he looked like money (that ECW wasn’t paying him). The teased mega-feud between him, Rob Van Dam and Sabu in early 2000 sadly never happened after RVD got injured and ECW parted ways with Awesome and Sabu. Sadly neither WCW or WWF had Heyman’s ability to cover a wrestler’s weaknesses (something that still hurts WWE today) and Awesome took on humiliating gimmicks and became a Heat regular. Awesome was able to turn back the clock at One Night Stand 2005 and stole the show against preferred rival Tanaka in what would be his final match. To me and many others, it didn’t matter that Heyman presented him as an evil traitor or WCW decided he should be That Seventies Guy, he’ll always be remembered as Mike Fucking Awesome.
edit: well I don’t know what’s happened here but the GIFs and images aren’t showing. Bare with me.
edit 2: I’m using Chrome like I always do and I can’t see anything, ditto on Firefox. Apparently some can see this on other browsers, I’m not doing anything different than normal so I’ve no idea.
We’re in Seattle, Wa. (waaaaah?) and Lashley starts the show to a booming reaction. It’s Extreme Rules and he’s wrestling…Holly? Not Snitsky then, the guy who attacked him last week? Aye well OK then.
Sorry about no recap last week, went up to Glasgow for ICW’s biggest ever show and due to bad management I had no time to watch an episode of a C-show from nearly ten years ago. Er I mean ”in the spirit of the original ECW I decided to take the show off the air for a week due to the controversy of er…Sandman smoking indoors. Yeah that’ll work.”
We’re joined mid-Sandman entrance so you know it’s a serious episode. Oh never mind, it’s a Battle Royal because the Royal Rumble is this Sunday.
Because Test interfered in the RVD vs. Lashley main event last week, the main event tonight is RVD vs. Lashley vs. Test. His punishment is getting a title shot?
It’s the last ECW of 2006 and…it’s a Best Of. Oh. Styles and Tazz present highlights of Cena vs. RVD, RVD vs. Show, Extreme Strip Poker (what?), Extreme Elimination Chamber, Lashley winning the title and the three-way from last week. At the end, Tazz gives Joey a Christmas present.
Styles: ”Are you sure? It says ”Michael Cole” on the label…and it’s ticking?”
Bobby Lashley and his incredibly generic theme music start the show. All respect to Jim Johnston but he’d been on borrowed time for years and I’m glad we know have CFO$. He grabs the mic. I’ve changed my mind, put his music back on.
Recap of Lashley winning the title and beating Show in the rematch so our main event is Lashley vs. Paul Heyman’s Personal Enforcers. Neither man has a name or a face which is weird, along with the fact Heyman’s not on the show anymore. I’ll save you a Google Search, the guards were played by The Bashams, so no wonder they were covering their faces.
We’re in Buffalo, New York with no opening and December To Dismember is THIS SUNDAY NIGHT. Oh. Paul Heyman starts the show putting over the EXTREEEME Elimination Chamber. ”Inside the chamber it’s total anarchy” etc. He introduces the weapons that are going to be used in the Chamber and that takes a lot away from Heyman’s spiel as he gives us a chair, a crowbar (which gets an ironic ”holy shit” chant) and a table. What a weird way to sell a supposedly unique match by filling it with normal weapons. Oh and there’s a barbed wire baseball bat too, which makes the crowd chant ”we want fire” because it’s New York.
We’re in Uniondale New York and we have Hardcore Holly vs. RVD EXTREEEME RULES II and The Hardys teaming up for the first time in years because OH SHIT THERE’S A PPV COMING UP.
We’re in Manchester, England (looks like the 02 Arena but by the time you’ve read this it’ll have changed it’s name again. Probably the Angry Birds Arena by now). Tazz is recovering from knee surgery so Elijah Burke joins Joey Styles on commentary. It’s where he’d end up ten years later and it means he’s not wrestling so good call.
Tonight we have Qualifying Matches for the ”December To Dismemder” PPV that Tazz will be chewing marbles at. And we’re starting right now: