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Lightning Round: Worst Storylines

Lightning Round Challenge™: For some of the longer tenured rasslers on the WWE roster, what is the one angle that you can associate that them with and go “wow, someone was paid money to come up with this?” For a handful of those listed, I’m sure you could think of a dozen per person, but in this case, just the first one that pops to mind. As always, thanks for the years of entertainment and ripping apart those storylines to begin with. John Cena The Bray Wyatt feud.  Made no sense, went nowhere, destroyed Bray as a main event guy.  Kane Oh god, so many to choose from.  Probably the one where he was fighting the fake version of himself because reasons.  The Undertaker Speaking of fighting the fake version of yourself… Big Show Undertaker leaves him in the desert as training.  Randy Orton Wasn’t the Hogan storyline pretty stupid?  Triple H Katie Vick, boom.  Goldust TAFKA Goldust in general.  Which then leads to doomsday preacher Dustin Runnells and the return of the original Goldust character.  So bad all around.  Sting (got to get his name out there for potential Mania 32 rumors!) Black Scorpion, bitches. 

World Class Lightning Round

Scott….Going thru my VHS tapes purge has inspired me to ask: can you do a “World Class” version of the Lightning Round? If you could give me (your pick) the best (North America) match of the following:


Kerry Von Erich (overall)

He had some hellacious matches with Flair (duh) but my favorite was actually a match with Harley Race of all people, shortly before Kerry won the title.  It was on WWE 24/7 on some random themed month and it was GREAT. 

Kerry Von Erich (post amputation….after 1986-ish)

Jerry Lawer at Superclash, and it’s not even debatable.  Everything else he did with the missing foot was hot garbage.  

Bruiser Brody

I honestly haven’t seen more than about 3 Brody matches in my life.  He was before my time as a fan for the most part.  

Chris Adams

Discovering and training Steve Austin eclipses anything else he did in the business.  He had some great tag matches with Gino, but nothing I can think of off-hand.  Another guy who was basically before my time as a fan when he was peaking.  

Kevin Von Erich

Gotta be Flair.  

David Von Erich

Died before I even became a fan.  

Michael Hayes

One of the 80 million six-mans with the Von Erichs.  

Terry Gordy

He had a lot of great ones in All Japan.  

Gino Hernandez

Before my time.  I vagely remember the team with Chris Adams and saw some good stuff there, but otherwise I couldn’t judge.  

Abdullah the Butcher

Yeah OK then.  

Brian Adidas (talk about obscure…….)

No idea.  

Jimmy Garvin

Flair in the Precious cage match.  

Thanks…..

(Also, going forward, which email is the best one to use?)

Obscure Wrestler Lightning Round

Good afternoon Mr. Keith.  When we hear “One of the Greatest matches of all time”, there is a lot of usual suspects.  But i’m curious on a couple childhood favorites of mine that I wonder if I ever even seen their greatest match.  Indulge me: None of these would be particularly “obscure”, I’d say.  Greg Valentine Most of his really great stuff came pre-WWF.  The dog collar match with Roddy Piper at Starrcade 83 would probably be the concensus pick, although he had some tremendous tag matches with Beefcake against the British Bulldogs.  There’s a really great one on an early SNME.  Tito Santana The IC title match with Mr. Perfect on SNME is likely his best major televised match.  The cage match where he regained the IC title from Valentine in 85 is also a hell of a deal.  Rick Martel He had some really good ones as AWA champion, but nothing I can remember vividly off-hand.  Bam Bam Bigelow He had some awesome ones in Japan.  A tag match with Vader against the Steiners comes to mind.  Big Bossman Probably the Hogan cage match.  Demolition I don’t think they ever had a definitive great one.  Against the Harts at Summerslam 90 or against the Rockers on SNME were probably their best.  Jake Roberts Most of his great ones were in Mid-South, well before he made it to the WWF.  Can’t think of a great definitive one off-hand.  Best from his WWF run would have to be the Randy Savage match at Tuesday In Texas, but even that was really short.  Rick Rude The Masa Chono NWA World title final is actually shockingly great.  Sid Vicious Shawn Michaels at Survivor Series 96, and it’s not even close.  Andre The Giant Probably something from Japan, although I’m blanking on specifics. 

Lightning Round – Hall Of Fame non wrestlers

Scott, considering how often the WWE HOF gets discussed on here I thought it only fitting to end the old year/start the new year (delete as appropriate) With a quick lightning round on whether you think the following people who were best known in a non wrestler capacity should/will be inducted into the Hall Of Fame?

"Delete as appropriate"?!  Do I look like an editor?  You guys are lucky I bold and italicize this shit as it is…
(Just kidding.)  
Ted Turner
Sure, and he lead the wrestling union while we're in this beautiful dream.  Next.  

Eric Bischoff
Yeah, and they can cut his induction speech out of that same clip they've been using for 12 years now.  Bisch is done with them.    
Jim Cornette

See those bridges on fire down by Kentucky?  They say no.  
Jim Johnston
Unlikely.  No one knows him.  
Jack Funny
You mean Tunney?  Again, bridges burned to the ground.  They didn't even attend his FUNERAL.  
Todd Pettingill
Only if Stephanie Wiand goes in with him.  
Paul Heyman
Should have happened already.  

Lightning Round: ONE-time holders

LIGHTNING ROUND: 
Who are the best ONE-TIME holders of the following belts?  (My choices in parentheses.)
WWF/WWE (Eddie)
NWA/WCW (Steamboat)
Intercontinental (Savage)
US (Windham)
NWA/WCW TV (Muta)
WWF/WWE/"World" Tag Team (Bulldogs)
NWA/WCW Tag Team (Doom)

​WWF: Ultimate Warrior.
NWA: Agreed with Steamboat.
Intercontinental:  Hard to argue with Macho Man.
US:  Stan Hansen.
TV:  Clearly Muta, yeah.
WWF tag: ​Ever heard of a little tag team called the BRAINBUSTERS?
NWA tag:  Road Warriors.  They never won it back after 89.  

Lightning round

Having seen the previous lightning round for under-rated workers etc, can you find any half-decent matches around this collection of early 90's WWF dross?

Skip
Mantaur (hint: no)
Ahmed Johnson
Yokozuna
Marty Jannetty
The Smokin' Gunns
Adam Bomb (one of my fave wacky characters)
Tatanka
"Barmy" Bob Backlund
​Skip:  Barry Horowitz at Summerslam 95.  
Mantaur:  Fuck no.
Ahmed:  Goldust at King of the Ring 96, and he had a legendary match with a pre-Bradshaw John Hawk in Texas that flirted with ****.
Yokozuna:  Randy Savage's last WWF title shot on RAW.  Great drama.
Marty Jannetty:  Aside from the **** classic with Shawn on RAW?  And the **** tag title switch with the Quebecers in early 94?  And a bunch of other great matches he had?  
​Smokin' Gunns:  They had a bunch of decent matches on RAW.  The tag title match against Kid & Holly was pretty good in particular​.
Adam Bomb:  He had a good one with (surprise surprise) Shawn Michaels in early 95 on Superstars.
Tatanka:  The match against Luger at Summerslam was OK.
Backlund:  His initial heel turn match against Bret was a near-classic **** affair.  

MiTB Lightning Round

1) Best MITB Match
Dude, I barely even watched the product from 2005-2011, I can hardly even remember who WON most of the matches.  I recall the original with Benoit and Jericho being pretty awesome, so we’ll go with that one.  2) Worst MITB Match
Again, I just don’t remember enough of them to distinguish them.  I wasn’t a big fan of the four-man one that Cena won, so we’ll go with that one.  3) Best performance in an MITB match Shelton Benjamin in his various attempts.
4) Best spot in an MITB Match
I recall some crazy spectacular ones at WM24. 5) MITB – better as a separate PPV or at WM
Wrestlemania.  Really justifies the bloated nature of the match and gives a bunch of guys a good payday and spotlight.  6) Worst MITB winner
Damien Sandow by giant measures of length.  If you want to limit it to guys who were supposed to made into big stars off it, then Jack Swagger.  7) Ideal # of competitors
7 seems like a fair number. 8) Best cash-in
Ziggler.  Right place, right time.  9) Your prediction for Sunday’s contract match
Ambrose carrying the case around like a crazy man and threatening to fuck up every World title match from now to Wrestlemania would be ingenious but I think Rollins is the most likely.  Love your Sporting News articles! Thanks!  Look for a MITB wrap-up article on Monday! 

Lightning Round: X v. Y

Good afternoon Mr. Keith, here is some  matchups I’m curious to have ever happened: Steamboat vs. Great Muta (WCW 89 most likely?) Seems likely but I can’t cite a specific match.  Ric Flair and/or Sting vs. Jushin Lyger (wcw early 90’s) Never that I know about. Bret Hart vs. Hulk Hogan in WWF Definitely not.  Chris Benoit vs. Rey Mysterio in WCW, preferably with a Mask on Had to have happened either in WCW or Japan.  Dean Malenko vs. Kurt Angle (WWF Early 2000’s) Can’t see it happening.  Vader vs. Randy Savage singles match in WCW You’d think it would have, but I don’t recall it. It would have made sense for Vader to run through Hogan’s wacky little buddy, though.  Randy Savage vs. Mr. Perfect singles WWF I don’t think they ever crossed over at a point where their alignments would allow it.  Would have been a hell of a match, though.  And I know i’ve asked before, and your answer was no on them facing off, so can you also find it difficult to comprehend that the WWE never headlined a PPV with Michaels vs. the Rock sometime between 2002-2004!?!  Thank you and have a good day Rock apparently had heat with Michaels dating back to Shawn’s drug-addled days in the 90s when he would treat Rock like shit, so it was always shot down. 

Lightning Round: Shitty Workers

Those last two lightning rounds were a little too easy. Try this one. Last great match for… 1) Kevin Nash Shawn Michaels, Good Friends Better Enemies.  2) Scott Hall Can’t think of anything post-Summerslam 95 off hand.  3) Yokozuna His title defense against Randy Savage on RAW in 94.  4) Earthquake I’ll have to get back to you on that one.  5) Jerry Lawler Bret at Summerslam 93.  6) Al Snow As others have noted, I forgot about the Benoit match in ECW.  And, just out of mercy, a couple non-shitty workers (but hopefully still more challenging than “legend with an iconic Mania retirement match”)  7) Curt Hennig He had nothing going on in WCW, although his Flair series was pretty good, so maybe the World War III 98 one?  8) Rick Rude NWA tournament final against Masa Chono.  9) Sean Waltman I’ll go with one of the random light heavyweight title matches during the Invasion.  Say, Jeff Hardy?  10) Roddy Piper Bret Hart at WM8. 

Lightning Round: Last Great Matches 2

Kane

Randy Savage

Booker T

Scott Steiner

Jake Roberts

Vader

​Kane:  Not a singles match, but the MITB he won was pretty good.  
Savage:  DDP in 97.  He was way too broken down after that.
Booker:  He had some good ones as a part of BookDust.
Steiner:  The Nitro finale against Booker?  
Jake:  Gotta go back pretty far for something great.  Probably This Tuesday In Texas.
Vader:  Shawn at Summerslam 96. ​

Lightning Round: Last Great Matches

Their greatest match was long ago, and since this is wrestling, we can’t say we’ve definitely seen their last match. But what was the last great (or at least very good) match for these wrestlers: Ric Flair The cage match against HHH at the Taboo Tuesday show.  Or Cyber Sunday?  Whatever. Kurt Angle He’s probably had others since, but the last one I can remember is the Samoa Joe series in TNA.  Shawn Michaels Well considering his retirement match against Undertaker was damn near *****, that would be the obvious choice.  Steve Austin His retirement match against Rock.  Bret Hart I’m tempted to say Montreal, but he had a good one with Flair at Souled Out after that.  Hulk Hogan He’s never had a good one. 

Theme Song Lightning Round

Scott, Thought this would be some fun discussion for you and the blog. Which theme song you liked best for each wrestler:

Austin Clearly the classic is the best.  When you hear the glass, it’s your ass.  Eddie Guerrero I’m partial to the “Lie/Cheat/Steal” theme myself, but they were all pretty close. Rey Mysterio The one that goes “Booyaka” took me a while, but I think it’s the best one now.  The energy just matches him so well.  Randy Orton Has he had anything other than “Voices”?  I honestly don’t remember.  HHH OUR TIME. Trish Stratus The classic one.  I’m not a fan of whatever she’s been using in her various comeback appearances.  CM Punk I HATE that screamo bullshit, so Cult of Personality is the only choice for me.  The Rock Really, he’s had a million different mixes of the same basic thing, but the one he was using by 2000 is the best combination of factors for me.  Once they nailed down the “If you SMELLLLL” at the beginning, the rest was easy.  Christian The operatic one with the curtain of pyro.  Edge Hasn’t he really only had two?   “You Think You Know Me” and “Metallingus”?  Given I was a fan of the band, I’ll go with the latter. 

Lightning Round 463

Everyone loves Lightning Rounds, but how bout something with a bit of a twist to them. Best matches for people who weren’t having them or having them with only a select group of talent (a.k.a Shawn or Bret)….
Davey Boy Smith – Singles Match, Post-Bulldogs Era, Not vs. Shawn, Bret, or Owen
That’s pretty specific.  Probably I’d say one of the Hennig matches on Coliseum video.  

Andre The Giant – Heel run of 1987 and later.
 
Against Bret in Milan?
Brutus Beefcake – Singles Only. I won’t be cruel enough to say “WCW Only”.
 
The Dream Team blowoff against Valentine was good, and I recall him having a really good one against Savage in late 89.
The Undertaker – Pre-Attitude Era, Not vs. Mick Foley, Shawn, or Bret.
 
I’m gonna say Warrior because they were decent enough.  
And how bout some not-so-good’s for the hell of it with the obvious choices of “great” workers:
Worst Bret Hart Match
Any of his shitty Dino Bravo abominations on Coliseum video.  
Worst Shawn Michaels Match
He had some bad ones on TV in 97 when he was high all the time.  
Worst Ric Flair Match

JY motherfuckin’ D in 1990.  

Lightning Round: Tag Teams

Hey Scott.
Just watching some classic tag team wrestling on the WWE Network and wanted to know the best matches of the following:

The Midnight Express Condrey & Eaton:  Against the Rock N Roll Express, really take your pick.  Eaton & Lane:  Against the Southern Boys at Bash 90. 
The Rock ‘n’ Roll Express Again, they had dozens of near-***** matches with the original Midnights.  I don’t think any are archived on the Network as of yet.  For the definitive Ricky Morton, check out RNR v. Andersons at Starrcade 86, where he gets the everloving fuck beaten out of him by the Andersons for like 20 minutes and it’s just awesome. 
Road Warriors Great matches were not really their thing.  To say the least.  Their title match against Tully & Arn at Starrcade 87 was damn good.  The scaffold match against the Midnights is pretty legendary, although not really my cup of tea.  I could wuss out and pick a Wargames, but I’m gonna go with the title win over the Midnights in 88. 
Blanchard and Anderson That is like asking me to choose between my children.  I’ll go with either of the Luger/Windham title switches because both were awesome for totally different reasons. 
The Freebirds Whatever their final match as a team ended up being. 
The Fantastics They had a ***** match against the Midnights in 88 where they won the US tag titles on Worldwide, and if you want a good approximation of it you can watch the rematch at Bash 88, which for me is a mere ****3/4.  They also had a brawl with the Sheepherders that Meltzer gave ***** to. 
The Hart Foundation They were never really a top level match quality team (that was more Bret & Owen’s deal) but they had some really spectacular matches with the Bulldogs in their prime.  The 2/3 falls match on SNME is probably the easiest to find, but there’s some house show matches on the MSG shows that will rock your shit.  In the 90-91 Harts rebirth they had some great matches with the Rockers, too. 
British Bulldogs Really, they self-destructed too soon to truly hit their potential, but I’m always fond of their matches with the Harts.  Also, they did a couple of runs in Japan that were supposed to be great, although I’ve never seen the matches in question. 
Thanks for your help.