UT bums me out

Hey Scott, i know the UT-Brock angle was really well done an all. But man, im just not feeling it. I cant recall ever being this bummed out over seeing the Undertaker.

Is it just me being a typical bitchy smart mark? Or are they honestly making a mistake here??

​Well I mean, if you’re gonna bring Undertaker back, then the Brock match is the biggest one they have. That being said, you’re hotshotting UT to get ratings back to where they were a couple of months ago, and what’s going to happen in the fall when football starts again and the product REALLY goes off a cliff?

Booking brock

Big fan love the new blog

I thought last night was horrible. instead of using lesner, who is over as a monster, to make rollins for good, rollins is made to look like a chump. In the span of a year they made all three members of the shield look weak, ruined bray, ruined Ziggler even more and are on their way to ruin Owens leaving taker brock HHH and cena as the only guys any one cares about

Is there any reason to keep watching at all?

​John Cena v. Hulk Hogan at Wrestlemania 32, brother!

The SmarK Rant for WWE Battleground 2015–07.19.15

The SmarK Rant for WWE Battleground 2015

For those invested in the minutia of my life when it comes to these things, I’m doing this rant on a Microsoft Surface tablet, which has now replaced my beloved iPad due to the fact that I can do things like have the full version of Office running on it with an actual Windows keyboard. For me, the Surface Type keyboard destroys even the best iPad Bluetooth keyboard. Save your scorn, I’m a big boy who knows what he’s getting into.

Live from St. Louis, MO

Your hosts are Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler and JBL.

Read more

Undertaker-Sting at SummerSlam


What do you think is the most likely scenario for the Undertaker and Sting at SummerSlam? Both are apparently going to be wrestling at the show. I’m thinking Undertaker and Sting will be in a tag match, say, against Rollins and Triple H. That’s probably the smartest thing to do if both are actually working the show. Of course, I can be way off base and, as you said in an earlier post, Undertaker will suddenly want revenge on Brock and Sting will go after…Bo Dallas? Anyway, would like your thoughts on how you think both men will be used. Thanks!

​Given the ratings disaster and desperation involved, I think Vince is just gonna swing for the fences and go with Undertaker v. Brock and Sting v. Rollins. Or maybe Undertaker & Kane v. Brock & Cena, I dunno. I just don’t see them building to Undertaker v. Sting, though.

The Kyle Report: Wrestlemania 29 Review

Wrestlemania 29 was the 29th annual “Grand Daddy of Them All”,
held at MetLife Stadium in East Rutherford New Jersey on April 7th, 2013. It
drew 80,676 fans according to WWE, becoming the second highest attended WWE
event ever, and about 1,048,000 ordered it worldwide. 

The initial video package
talked about Hurricane Sandy, and it focused on the strong people that assisted
those affected by it. Chris Christie, the Governor of New Jersey, narrated
the entire thing and then welcomed us to WrestleMania 29.
The wide-shot camera
angles showed the jammed-packed crowd in attendance. An enthused Michael Cole
said there were over 80,000 people there, and the event was sold out. Then, a
video package was shown of some of the classic moments in WrestleMania’s history
and slides of the wrestlers involved in this show.
Your Hosts Are Michael
Cole, Jerry Lawler, and John Bradshaw Layfield.
Match: Randy Orton, Sheamus, and Big Show vs. The Shield (Seth Rollins,  Roman Reigns, and Dean Abmrose)
As usual, the Shield arrived
through the crowd while Big Show, Sheamus and Randy Orton entered separately.
Their entrances foreshadowed the story of the match. The Shield worked
together as a cohesive team, while Big Show, Sheamus, and Randy Orton were
fragmented. The Shield went to hit the three-man powerbomb on Sheamus, but the Big
Show saved Sheamus by spearing Reigns. The problems between Team Sheamus started to happen
when Sheamus tried to tag in The Big Show, but Orton selfishly tagged himself
to be the legal man. Orton cleaned house, while the camera showed Big Show
visibly pissed off. Orton set up for the RKO on Dean Ambrose, but wound up
RKO’ing Rollins, who jumped off the turnbuckle, in mid-air. Out of nowhere,
Reigns speared Orton, allowing Ambrose to pick up the win by pinning Orton. JBL
speculated that the Shield might be the greatest team ever. After the match,
Big Show ended up punching both Sheamus and Orton in the face and then walked away in disgust.
The Shield in 10:37
Thoughts: An adequate, inoffensive opening tag
match. The story of the match was that the Shield worked as a cohesive unit,
while team Sheamus, Big Show, and Randy Orton could not put their differences aside.
People speculated whether or not Randy Orton would finally turn heel, but WWE ended
up not pull the trigger on the turn. Like I said, it was solid, but the Shield
have had much better matches on free TV. ** 1/2
A video package was
shown hyping up the John Cena vs The Rock match
vs. Mark Henry
Henry took control early
on by delivering a powerslam and then a clothesline. Ryback went for Shell
Shock, but Henry pushed him into the turnbuckle. Henry then applied a bear hug. The
crowd then started to chant “Sexual Chocolate”, illustrating how little the
crowd cared about this match. Henry applied another bear hug, only for Ryback to drive
Henry into the corner where he delivered a couple of clotheslines. The crowd
came alive when Ryback executed the “Feed Me More” clothesline. The crowd then popped
huge when Ryback got Henry up for Shell Shock, but Henry countered by grabbing
the ropes and landing on Ryback’s back. Henry proceeded to pick up the win by
pinning him in a very anti-climactic finish. After the match, Ryback hit Shell
Shock, which made Henry’s win rather pointless.
Mark Henry in 8:20
Thoughts: The match was tedious, and the crowd only popped
for the big spots, but it was not as bad as it could have been. They did not try to do more than they could, so neither Henry nor Ryback were exposed
for being less than stellar workers. I still do not understand why Ryback lost
this match because he ended up becoming the number one contender the next
night. I also wonder if WWE has a long-term plan for Ryback losing every big
match on PPV in his WWE career. * 1/4
Team Championship: Team Hell No (Kane and Daniel Bryan) © vs. Dolph Ziggler and
Big E Langston w/AJ Lee
AJ kissed Ziggler at the
start of the match. Ziggler turned around only to be kicked in the head by
Daniel Bryan (in what was a convincing near-fall that played off how Bryan lost
to Sheamus last year). Ziggler tagged in Langston and Bryan tagged in Kane. Boo!.
Langston delivered Kane three backbreakers in a row, and then hit a running
body attack. He’s pretty strong, to be honest. The heels made some quick tags and worked over Kane, but Kane fought
back by hitting a sick-looking DDT on Langston. Ziggler pulled Bryan off the
apron, but Kane ended up hitting a sidewalk slam on Ziggler. The pace is really picking up. Kane went for a
top-rope clothesline, but Ziggler moved
out of the way. Ziggler botched a Fameasser and got a two count out of it. Afterwards,
Kane tossed Langston outside the ring, and Bryan nailed Langston in the head
with a stiff knee. Ziggler nailed the Zig Zag and got a close near-fall out of
it. AJ Lee preoccupied the ref, as Kane dodged a briefcase shot and then gave
Ziggler a Chokelsam. Kane tagged in Bryan, and he hit the Flying Headbutt on
Ziggler. It was good enough to pick up the win.
Team Hell No in 8:22
Analysis: The de ja vu spot was a nice play off of last
year’s Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan match, and it was actually very believable
near-fall. All four men worked hard, and thus got the rather silent crowd
engaged into it. Overall, it was a rock-solid, energetic match, with all four
men playing their specific roles well. I just wish they had more time and that Bryan
and Ziggler wrestled together longer. ** ¾
John Cena discussed Make-A-Wish and told us that we can donate $10 by texting 80088.

Jericho vs. Fandango
Fan-dan-go! started by
doing a little dancing, only to get suplexed by Jericho. Bret Hart thought his dancing was more entertaining than a HHH match. Out of
nowhere, Jericho Codebreaker. (By the way, every time I say out of nowhere, Don West screaming on top of his lungs comes to my mind. God, I miss that guy.) Fan-dan-go! fell out of the ring, though.
Jericho then followed up by giving him a dropkick. Back in the ring, Fan-dan-go! started to control the match, but Jericho came back by hitting a double
axehandle and then a Thesz Press. Bah, gawd. Jericho then nailed a cross body block to
pick up a two count. Fandango, however, threw Jericho shoulder first into the ring
post. Fan-dan-go! hit a neckbreaker, and then proceeded to hit his unique Leg Drop
off the top rope, getting a close near-fall. Jericho attempted the Walls of
Jericho, but Fan-dan-go! reversed it and then executed a clothesline. Fan-dan-go! went to the top again, but it was Jericho grabbed the top rope. Jericho went for a
superplex, but Fan-dan-go! countered by hitting a headbutt. Fan-dan-go! went for his top-leg drop, but Jericho moved out of the way. Things got messy when it appeared
Jericho was supposed to hit the Liontamer, but Fan-dan-go! was too close to the
ropes. Jericho tried to cover the botch up by going for the Walls of Jericho,
but Fan-dan-go! countered with a sloppy inside cradle to pick up the win.
Fan….dan….go! in 9:11
Thoughts:  I forgot to breathe in the A’s, I think. Anyway, another decent match. There was a good amount of
back-and-forth action and counter-for-counter wrestling exchanges. Jericho’s
mission was to make Fandango look good, and he did a good job of doing so. Aside
from the sloppy finish, Fandango appeared to have some wrestling ability.
Jericho is so good at being able to adapt with anyone and have a watchable match
with them, though. 

The next night, Fandango received a huge babyface reaction,
but the WWE failed to capitalize on it. The thing is the character never really
pissed people off and people never took him seriously. It was just a whacky,
cheesy, goofy, but rather entertaining character. The fans told WWE this, but they did not want to listen. Now, he is receiving
little-to-no reaction at all. ** ½

Diddy performed, which made me hit
the fast-forward button. I like it when they use a music performer to sing
someone’s theme, but to give them their own mini-concert would be equal to
Diddy allowing wrestlers to wrestle at his concerts. I mean people order WM to see
wrestling, not an eight-minute concert. The time wasted here should have been used for the mid-carders that were short-changed.
Heavyweight Championship: Alberto Del Rio w/Ricardo Rodriguez vs. Jack Swagger
w/Zeb Colter
Zeb Colter cut a promo
on just about every nationality to get cheap heat. Del Rio started aggressively
at the start until Zeb Colter sidetracked him, which allowed Swagger get the
upper hand by throwing Rio into the post. Del Rio got a hope spot in by rolling
up Swagger for a two count but then got a big boot to the face from Swagger. Del
Rio made his comeback by using clotheslines, a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and
then a side kick for a two count. Swagger came back with a shoulder block to the
knee of Del Rio. Del Rio attempted an enziguiri, but Swagger ducked it. Swagger went
for the Swagger Bomb, but Del Rio countered and then hit a Backstabber for a
two. Del Rio tried to end it, but Swagger reversed it with a Gutwrench
Powerbomb for two. The work is solid but the crowd does not care. Swagger locked in the Patriot Lock, but Del Rio reversed it with
his Cross Armbreaker submission. Swagger countered back with the Patriot Lock. We Da People! Del
Rio managed to break the hold by kicking Swagger in the head. Colter put Swagger’s leg on the ropes
while Del Rio was pinning him. Rodriguez chased after Colter on his crutches, but Colter
ended kicking one of his crutches, which made Rodriguez fall to the ground. Honestly, I think Rodriguez and Cotler wrestling would have created more heat than this match. Del Rio was looking at what was going on outside the ring, which
allowed Swagger to attack him from behind. Suddenly, out of nowhere, Del Rio put in the
Cross Armbreaker, which made Swagger tap.
 Winner: Alberto Del Rio in 10:23
Analysis: Solid work, but
nothing remarkable. They had a rather decent scientific match that displayed some
quality mat-work, but the issue was that it just lacked emotion and intensity.
It  honestly felt like they were having an ordinary match, as it just lacked a sense of urgency and desperation and had no heat whatsoever. That could have been because the
feud was too complex for the fans to understand what it was all about. Or, because Del Rio and Jack Swagger’s characters are uninteresting. Or, because they
lacked a great deal of charisma in their particular roles. ** ½
Undertaker vs. CM Punk w/Paul Heyman
Living Colour played Cult
of Personality” and received a big pop from the crowd. The Undertaker’s
entrance was somewhat weird. These goblins were trying to grab his feet but could not. Punk bitch slapped Undertaker in the face early on, only for Undertaker
to come back with a huge boot to the face. Outside the ring, Undertaker tossed
Punk into the security wall. He then threw Punk’s head right onto the announce
table and then into ring post. Undertaker executed a leg drop on the apron on
Punk’s throat. After, Punk took Taker down with an arm drag when Taker went for
Old School. Punk then hit the Old School Clothesline, and Punk dodged the Undertaker’s big boot, sending him knee first into the top turnbuckle. With Taker outside, Punk nailed a
double axehandle off the top to the floor and then inside the ring, he hit a
neckbreaker to get a two count. Undertaker attempted to mount a comeback via
punches, but Punk countered with a swinging neckbreaker for two. Punk went for
the top-rope Old School clothesline, but he was crotched on the top rope. Undertaker
punched Punk in the face, knocking him outside the ring. Undertaker tried
to dive outside the ring, but Heyman got on the apron, which allowed Punk to
attack with a top-rope clothesline.
Later, Punk went to the
top rope and hit the Flying Elbow, although the table did not break. Taker sneaked
into the ring before being counted out. Taker locked in the Hell’s Gate
submission, but Punk answered by rolling him up for two count. Punk locked in the
Anaconda Vice submission Undertaker, which led to a great visual when Undertaker
looked Punk sadistically into his eyes. Punk got out of the way of a Chokeslam
and hit the GTS. Undertaker bounced off the ropes and then hit a Tombstone,
only for two. Great spot. Punk hit a running knee in the corner, but  Undertaker caught him and went  for the Last Ride. Heyman gave Punk the urn,
and Punk nailed Taker in the back of the head. Punk only got a two, though.
Just an awesome exchange there. Punk went for the GTS, Undertaker countered and
hit the Tombstone Piledriver to for win. After the match, Taker walked off the urn that held Paul Bearer’s ashes.
The Undertaker in 22:30
This match was a perfect example of “it is not what you do, it is when and
why you do it”. Everything they did fit the context of the story they were
telling. Both men also had great body language, facial expressions, and
mannerisms, which helped elevate the match’s  drama and also helped transition the match to each different stage. They
also built the match off the audience’s reactions, had them in the palms of
their hands and sent them on a roller coaster ride.
Basically, CM Punk tried to defeat the Undertaker by using a
well-developed strategic plan. He did certain tactics to attempt to play mind games with the Undertaker (which is something that few little people have been able to pull off). Even though it
worked for a good portion of the match, it was not enough to defeat the
immortal Undertaker. 
Also, despite CM Punk going into the match with not a lot of momentum due to him losing four out of the five previous matches, both the Undertaker and CM Punk were able to fool a lot of people by making them believe that Punk had several chances of ending the streak. Just a terrific match. **** ½
Holds Barred: Brock Lesnar w/Paul Heyman vs. Triple H w/Shawn Michaels
They brawled right off
the bat, as HHH threw Lesnar into the security wall and then slammed him into the announce table. After, Lesnar
went after Triple H on the floor, but Hunter drilled Lesnar with a stiff
clothesline, which literally knocked Lesnar out. Lesnar had a chair in his
hands, but Triple H drilled him in the face with a knee. Outside, Lesnar drilled
a belly-to-belly suplex, and then Lesnar hit vertical suplex into a slam that
broke the Spanish announce table. After that, a lot of boring stuff happened. Brock Lesnar dominated Triple H forever. HBK tried to save his friend, but Brock Lesnar was having none of that, so he F-5’d HBK. Later
on, Lesnar drove HHH into the steps that were in the ring,but HHH applied the
Kimura Lock. He picked up HHH again and drilled him into steps. This time, Triple
H hung onto his head and drilled his head into the steps. Hunter hit Lesnar with a sledgehammer and then a Pedrigree onto the steps, picking up the win.
Winner: Triple H in 23:30 minutes
They worked hard. They really did. The problem was nobody cared. The reason the fans did not care was because: (A) Not many people care about Triple H anymore. (B) They never believed he had a chance of losing. Or (C), the Undertaker and CM Punk match
burnt them out. Whatever the case may have been, the match just lacked that
“career on the line” atmosphere. The match also failed to top their brawl on
Raw, which was way more of a intense and bloody back-and-forth brawl, and most of all, I didn’t know who was going get the upper hand.
In my opinion, though, the biggest problem
with the match were the dynamics. Ass-kicker vs ass-kicker matches are
difficult to pull off, especially with WWE’s violence restrictions. I mean Lesnar is a good big man worker, but it is obvious that his
matches with bigger guys aren’t that impressive. His best matches come with
people who can bump like a fish in the water and take a beating (or at
least give off the illusion that they are taking a bad one). Triple H has been known to
take a good beating in the past, but due how fragile his body has become, he can hardly bump
anymore. So, basically, he was not the right size, character, and he could not take enough sick bumps in order to mesh with Lesnar. ** 3/4
A commercial for The
Rock’s next movie, Pain & Gain, is shown. There were clips from the Hall of
Fame ceremony too. Then Hall of Famers were on the stage.
Championship: The Rock vs. John Cena
Rock avoided a  Five Knuckle Shuffle and then hit a DDT. The Rock went for a Rock Bottom, but Cena countered with a Crossface. Rock countered it with a pinfall
attempt but only got two. Cena hits the spinning slam and then the Five Knuckle
Shuffle. Rock wiggled his way out of the Attitude Adjustment and then delivered a
Spinebuster. Cena locked in a the STF, but the Rock got out of it. Rock then hit a
Rock Bottom in for two. Then Cena hit the Attitude Adjustment for a count. Selling, no? Okay.
Cena went to the top
rope but missed a leg drop. The Rock connected with  Spinebuster and then the People’s
Elbow for a two count. Cena caught Rock in his arms and then went for the
Attitude Adjustment, but Rock hit the Rock Bottom for another two count. Again, really? Rock
wanted another People’s Elbow, but Cena reversed it with an Attitude Adjustment
for two. This is becoming stupid. They exchanged punches, and then Cena hit a Rock Bottom for a two
count. This is like a Davery Richards match on crack. Cena went for the People’s elbow; you
know, the same move that made him lose their previous match. Nice psychology….not. He then went
for the Attitude Adjustment, but Rock countered into Rock Bottom for two. Do they even have finishers anymore? Jesus. They
exchanged finishing move attempts again a few times, but neither guy could hit.
Rock hit a DDT. Rock went for a Rock Bottom, Cena slipped out, and hit the Attitude
Adjustment, which was enough to win the WWE Championship. It’s finally over! After the match,
they shook hands. Respect is earned! 
and new WWE Champion: John Cena in 20:23 minutes
This match lacked psychology, any sort of strategy by either man, a story to follow, and rarely did either John Cena or the Rock played off their previous match at all. There
was no transitional period that elevated the match into the finisher galore stage of the match either. During the beginning, they should have worked over a body part or told some
sort of story. Instead, they used a cheap method to get the fans invested into the match. Trading finisher after finisher just devalued the credibility of their finishers, and it was a very lazy way to put together the supposed biggest match of the year. And, unlike CM Punk and Undertaker, Cena’s victory was never in doubt. I might get some heat for this rating, but I do not care. I
did not enjoy this match at all. * ½
The mid-carders on the show were evidently held down, so their matches would not
overshadow the main events. That would have been fine had the main events
delivered. However, a show should never rely on one or two matches, because this is what could happen. 

In addition, the crowd
was ready to go home after Undertaker’s epic match yet again. I’ve always believed that a title match should go on last, but I think the Undertaker’s Wrestlemania matches have become an exception to the rule. If Taker loses, the streak is
over, whereas wrestlers lose and then win back the title all the time.

in the middle, leaning down.

The SmarK Rant for WWE Extreme Rules 2012

The SmarK Rant for WWE Extreme Rules 2012 Live from Chicago, IL Your hosts are Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler & Booker T Opening match, Falls Count Anywhere: Kane v. Randy Orton They immediately fight to the floor and Kane gets two out there, then grabs the dreaded LEAD PIPE OF DEATH already. Back to the floor after trading some shots with that and they do the standard walk-and-punch brawl through the crowd and trade near-falls. They end up over by the entrance, where Orton gets a dropkick for two. Kane boots him down for two and they travel backstage and fight into the bathroom, so you know they mean business. Zack Ryder stupidly jumps in and attacks Kane long enough for Orton get a backbreaker for two, but Kane sends Orton into the CLANGY POLES OF DOOM to take over again. They’re pulling out all the stops here tonight! All we need is the craft services table for the full Russo monty! Sadly, no fresh fruits are used, as they head back to ringside again doing nothing of note. Back in the ring, Orton gets a clothesline out of the corner and the powerslam, and Orton venture out of the ring for a chair. Dammit, where’s the drink tray? What kind of a hardcore match is this? Orton pounds him with the chair and preps the announce table, hitting the draping DDT off the table to the floor for two. Kane counters an RKO and sends him into the post for two. Back in, Kane goes up and gets brought down with a superplex for two. Kane counters the RKO into a chokeslam for two. Kane sets up for the tombstone, but Orton counters into a chair-assisted RKO for the pin at 16:43. The stips ended up meaning basically nothing to the match aside from the one pre-taped backstage segment, but it was fine once it got back to the ring again. *** Meanwhile, Big Johnny and Eve get some champagne from Teddy Long. EXTREME Unadvertised Match: Brodus Clay v. Dolph Ziggler Swagger with the suit at ringside works much better as a bodyguard-type, actually. The crowd goes APESHIT for Ziggler, so I guess we’re in BIZARROWORLD. Brodus gets distracted by Swagger, and Ziggler dropkicks him out of the ring, allowing Swagger to get a cheapshot. Back in, Ziggler dropkicks the knee and hits the fameasser for two. He goes to a front facelock and adds a dropkick for two as the “Let’s Go Ziggler” chants get louder. Dolph with the sleeper, but Clay powers out of it and makes the comeback. The crowd actually boos the comeback, but Clay finishes clean with the splash at 4:15 anyway. Ziggler did what he could here. *1/2 Tables match, Intercontinental title: Big Show v. Cody Rhodes Cole notes that Show is one of only five men to hold all five of the current titles, including such names as Shawn Michaels. Uh, Shawn never held the US title. Perhaps he was thinking of the European title? Show tosses Cody around on the floor to start, but Cody gets a disaster kick off a table and they fight outside again. Show beats on him some more outside, but Cody dropkicks him off the apron on the way in, and he steps on a table to break it, for the backdoor Rhodes title win at 4:32. What a retarded finish that was. Show demonstrates some really bad sportsmanship, attacking Cody after the fair loss and chokeslamming him through the table. And then he presses him out of the ring and through another table, too. That was ridiculous, and this was barely even a match. ½* And why do they have to keep doing those stupid dangerous table bumps? No wonder guys have back problems. Meanwhile, Daniel Bryan lists all the advantages he has over Sheamus: Manlier beard, more chicks, less corned beef. All good points. And AJ is lurking in the background. World title, 2/3 Falls: Sheamus v. Daniel Bryan Crowd is split on Bryan, but Sheamus gets a giant heel reaction. Sheamus overpowers him and we’re already past 18 seconds, so good job on Bryan. They trade headlocks and Bryan tries a bodypress, but Sheamus turns it into a Regal roll for two. Texas Cloverleaf from Sheamus (which has an obvious gimmick name if he keeps using it), but Bryan reverses to a small package for two. Sheamus pounds away in the corner, but Bryan puts him down with a clothesline and out of the ring with a baseball slide. He dives and Sheamus catches him and spears him into the railing, but Sheamus goes up and Bryan brings him down to take over. The crowd starts a dueling “Daniel Bryan/18 Seconds” chant ala John Cena, which is interesting. Bryan works the arm with some nasty stuff and adds a dropkick to the shoulder for two. And now Booker is talking about “building momentum” and “creating separation” so those must be Vince-isms and not necessarily Cole-isms. Bryan chokes away on the ropes and goes back to the arm with a hammerlock. They slug it out and the crowd really starts to get into the “yes” thing until Sheamus puts him down with a kneelift and makes the comeback. Fallaway slam gets two. Sheamus misses a charge and Bryan kicks him in the corner for two. They fight to the top, but Sheamus blocks a rana and hits the shoulderblock for two. Bryan bails and Sheamus tries a suplex back in, but Bryan escapes and dumps Sheamus. He tries a dive, but Sheamus hits him with a forearm from the floor and tries the high cross. Bryan reverses that for two. He fights for the Yes Lock, but Sheamus keeps powering him off, so Bryan sends him into the post to injure the shoulder. Two more times for good measure, and he pounds the arm with kicks to the delight of the YES crowd. However, he kicks too much ass and gets himself disqualified at 15:00. That was BEGGING for a “I have until FIVE to break, referee”. Second fall and Bryan hooks the YES LOCK right away for the submission at 16:37. Aha, the old HHH v. The Rock “give up a fall to get a fall” strategy. The doctors check on Sheamus while Bryan leads an epic YES chant, but Sheamus is man enough to continue. Third fall and Bryan charges, but runs into a Brogue kick like an idiot. That only gets two, thankfully. They slug it out with Sheamus fighting from his knees, but Bryan knocks him out with a head kick and gets two. Bryan goes up and Sheamus follows with a superplex attempt, but Bryan puts him down and then misses his own dive. Bryan charges again and bumps in the corner, and Sheamus makes the comeback and hits the backbreaker. Brogue Kick finishes clean at 22:53. Tremendous match with a very unique heat. ****1/4 That’s exactly what I wanted out of Wrestlemania. And now we get three months of Sheamus v. Del Rio while D-Bry feuds with a girl. EXTREME Unadvertised Squash: Ryback v. Aaron Relic & Jay Hatton I’m kind of digging the “jobbers cut lame promos and then get destroyed” gag. The crowd is already hip to the room and chants “Goldberg” at him. Lariat and muscle buster finish the dweebs at 1:41. Meanwhile, CM Punk gives final thoughts before the title match. WWE title, Chicago Street Fight: CM Punk v. Chris Jericho Punk stomps a mudhole on Jericho and they head to the floor right away, where Punk finds a kendo stick to draw an “ECW” chant and inflict some damage. Jericho runs away until Punk caches him with a clothesline and lays into him with the stick again. Jericho finally hides behind the ref and gets a cheapshot, then sends Punk into the timekeeper’s cave. They fights on the floor and Jericho beats on Punk in front of his (allegedly drug-addicted) sister, prompting a slap from her and a comeback from Punk. Punk slams Jericho onto the announce table in a nice bump and tries a piledriver on the floor, but Jericho backdrops out and rams a monitor into his back. OUCH. Back in, Punk gets a backdrop suplex, but Jericho lays him out with the kendo stick and pounds him with it again. Jericho stops for the trashtalk and Punk rolls him up for two, but Jericho puts him down for two again. Jericho stops outside to grab a frosty cold beverage and pour it on Punk. Cole notes that this is the proverbial pouring of salt in the wounds. Actually it’s more like the literal pouring of alcohol in the wounds, which is much more painful I’d imagine. Jericho gets another can, but this allows Punk to make the comeback with the bulldog. Jericho reverses the GTS into the Walls, but Punk powerslams him for two. He goes up and Jericho wants a superplex, but Punk counters and gets the Macho Elbow instead. That gets two. Another GTS is countered by Jericho into the bulldog, but Punk blocks the Lionsault with the GTS…and Jericho escapes that too. He sends Punk into a chair for two. They’re just not clicking here, as the timing seems off and they can’t get the crowd to buy into the false finishes. Jericho recovers first and gets a Codebreaker, which sets up the Walls of Jericho in the middle of the ring. Punk gets to the ropes, but it’s no DQ, so Punk has to grab a fire extinguisher instead and sprays Jericho to break the hold. Well that works too. Punk chases him out of the ring with the extinguisher and high-kicks him onto the Spanish table, which means it’s time for the SUPER MACHO MAN ELBOW through the table. Back in, that only gets two, but the Anaconda Vice is hooked. Jericho grabs the kendo stick and whacks Punk in the face to escape, prompting a “this is awesome” chant from the crowd. They are certainly making up for the earlier problems. Punk attacks with the chair, but Jericho grabs it and hits a codebreaker with it for two. Crowd was PANICKED there. Jericho has had ENOUGH of this shit and stomps on Punk in frustration, then tries his own GTS, which Punk counters into the catapult into the steel and the GTS finishes at 25:11. Indeed, this was awesome by the end, a throwback to the crazy brawls of the Attitude era, but man they were losing the crowd bigtime leading up to it. ***1/2 Although the feud lost a lot of steam at the end and I’m hoping Punk moves onto something else now. Meanwhile, Eve reveals that Beth Phoenix is not medically cleared to wrestle tonight. What? So why advertise the match then? Eve immediately points out that it’s not Kharma. Divas title: Nikki Bella v. Layla That’s the big payoff? The crowd chants “We want Kharma” as Nikki goes after the bad knee and gets two. Layla comes back with a crossbody for two, but goes after Brie and gets rolled up for two. The twins switch off, but Layla pins Brie with a neckbreaker at 2:32 to win the title. DUD She doesn’t even look the same as before. Why even bother bringing her back? Brock Lesnar v. John Cena Brock is wearing the UFC gear tonight, which is pretty awesome. Brock takes him down for punishment and LEVELS him with a clothesline, and Cena is BLEEDING from the HEAD. Brock just destroys him on the mat and the ref pulls him off to check on the cut, but after it’s stopped Brock comes in again and brutalizes him on the mat. Brock dumps him out of the ring as Cena continues to bleed from his SKULL and the doctors keep stopping it. Cena keeps fighting and tries the FU, but Brock puts him down with a pair of german suplexes. Cena fights back and the ref gets wiped out, but Brock casually puts Cena down again and then wipes the blood on his chest. This is what I paid $55 to see. Brock fights for a KIMURA in the corner and dumps Cena like a sack of garbage again and gets the THUG LIFE CHAIN, but he doesn’t even WANT it. This is a man’s man. So he instead delivers a knee to the ribs, and uses the chain to tie up Cena’s legs before hanging him in the corner and beating the shit out of him some more. Cena fights back again, so Brock sends him into the stairs and then tosses Little Naitch into the ring with one hand in an awesome visual. Cena crawls in with his chain, but Brock steps on his hand and delivers an F-5, knocking the ref out a second time. Another ref comes out and counts two, so Brock destroys him as well. Brock gets the stairs involved as an army of refs wearing gloves head out, and Cena fights back again, only to get caught in a kimura. I would advise tapping out here, but Cena powers him up and slams him on the stairs. Cena goes for the hail mary pass, heading up with the legdrop, but Brock moves and Cena splats and lands on the floor. Brock taunts him from the stairs in a spectacular visual while Cena fights to the apron again, but Brock charges and launches himself at Cena, hurting his own leg in the process. Then he LAUGHS IT OFF and awaits Cena’s return again…and this time Cena hits him with the chain to block the charge. Cena makes the comeback, drawing babyface heat in Chicago because this is such an awesome match, and Brock is bleeding all over the place. And Cena finishes with the FU on the stairs at 17:50. Are you fucking KIDDING ME? They put Cena over? That was the most ridiculously short-sighted booking decision I’ve seen in years. The match itself was unbelievable, a brutally realistic FIGHT unlike anything seen in WWE main events, maybe ever. I was almost literally jumping up and down in my living room by the end, even at 1:00 AM and a long day.  ****3/4 for the match, negative one million stars for the worst decision they could have possibly made. The Pulse That flushing sound in Chicago is all the money from Brock going down the toilet. That being said, this was probably the best show since Money in the Bank, easily. The big three matches all delivered (or in the case of the main event, over-delivered), but holy shit why would you spend all that money on Brock and then have him just get beaten like another guy? Huge thumbs up.

Brock v. Cena

Hey Scott, 
I was just sitting here thinking about what I think would be an awesome way to do the Cena – Lesnar feud from this point.  Thought it might make good conversation for your blog…..
Someone posted a comment about running a “Knightfall” (from Batman) storyline involving Punk.  I think there is some money to be made from copying the storyline from Rocky 3, where Lesnar just destroys Cena at Extreme Rules and takes the belt.  He then destroys everyone else in his path for months on end, while Cena continues his downward spiral and loses at all pay per views because his “head isn’t in the game” after the loss to Brock.  Then sometime after Summerslam, The Rock returns and helps Cena regain his edge ala Apollo Creed did with Rocky.  Cena then begins the climb once again to the top, building to another showdown with Lesnar at Wrestlemania next year with Rock in his corner.  In the meantime, Lesnar could get cockier and cockier about the ease with which he is chewing people up.  Hell, to kickstart the whole storyline at extreme rules, Lesnar could pull Cenas dad from the crowd before the match and clothesline him or something leading Cena to be distracted and easy pickings for Brock in a 5 or 10 minute match.  And how awesome could the motivational workout videos of Rock and Cena be with Rock bringing the fire back to Cena.  Whether anyone else would be into or not, it would hook me on the product again.

I think if you’re gonna do that one, you’d have to do it at Summerslam because it’s too long term to do in a promotion as accelerated as WWE.  I think it’s a terrific idea, though, with Cena being forced to go to his hated enemy for help because Brock is just too much of a threat.  It’s a pretty classic story, actually, which is why Rocky 3 used it and was such an awesome movie.

They really should put one of the belts on Lesnar right away, though.  Having the two World titles as undercard matches underneath Brock does the belts no good.  If Brock is the top guy in the promotion, he should be the champion, period.  What I really wish is that there was a MITB briefcase floating around that Brock could get, because Daniel Bryan pulling out every cheating trick in the book to regain the belt from Sheamus at the PPV by the skin of his teeth and then getting immediately destroyed by Brock (complete with “shitting his pants” terror on his face) would have a really fun vibe to it.

The SmarK RAW Supershow Rant–04.09.12

The SmarK RAW Supershow Rant – 04.09.12 Live from Washington, DC. Your hosts are Michael Cole & Jerry Lawler Executive Vice President of Talent Relations and General Manager of RAW and Smackdown Johnny Ace joins us to start, and we immediately get a replay of last week’s Cena-Brock confrontation. The shots of grown men jumping and down and hugging each other in excitement is an awesome sight to behold. Odd how the video now makes it sound like Miami was booing the F5. And now, here comes the pain. Cole actually says the words “Former UFC heavyweight champion” which also is mind-blowing. Brock starts to cut a promo thanking Big Johnny for signing him, but John Cena interrupts. God, I hope they don’t try to have Brock do those stupid scripted promos. Just let him grunt menacingly and lift heavy things. So Cena immediately slaps him (and thankfully Brock isn’t immediately knocked out), and the brawl is on, which triggers a giant locker room emptying to pull them apart. Talking bad, fighting good. Cena has a mouth full of blood in the aftermath and they just want to keep beating each other up. To paraphrase Herb Kunze, this is the pro wrestling of which I am a fan. You know how in UFC/Strikeforce they’ll tease having a big pullapart brawl, and the MMA fans will be all “That’s so low-class and pro wrestling!” Well, when it happens in pro wrestling, it’s AWESOME. Meanwhile, Big Johnny is perturbed at the start of the show, and doesn’t even have time for Eve. Brodus Clay & Santino v. Dolph Ziggler & Jack Swagger I think the name here is obvious: COBRA-SAURUS! Sounds like a Syfy original movie, actually. Santino tries some mat wrestling with Ziggler and then goes to the armbar, and it’s over to Brodus. He no-sells Swagger’s stuff until Swagger clips him for two. And we take a break. Back with Santino playing face in peril, and you’d think this is the easiest tag team formula not to fuck up, with underdog Santino taking the beating until making the tag to monster Brodus to finish. Ziggler works on Santino with a clothesline and a crossface, but Santino flips out of it and makes the hot tag. Capture suplex for Ziggler and the big splash finishes clean at 7:34. See? Works every time and as long as they can keep finding heels to feed them, they can do this for months. That being said, I don’t really get why Dolph Ziggler gives a shit anymore, since he never wins now and apparently any push is permanently on the backburner. *1/2 Meanwhile, Big Johnny doesn’t have time for Miz either. John Cena and his busted lip are upset that Johnny wants to put him out of business, and he’s so pissed off that he’ll still compete because he’s not a sissy boy actor. That is how you get Cena over again as a babyface. Meanwhile, Santino is looking for the Three Stooges, but finds Kane instead. Nothing comes of it. R-Truth v. Cody Rhodes Truth takes control to start but gets caught and Alabama Slammed, and once again Big Show interrupts. We get the video of Big Show showing the video last week to cause Cody to lose, and once again Cody gets distracted and loses at 2:00. This remains as stupid as it was last week. Meanwhile, Santino meets the Three Stooges, which is really weird because they’re acting like it’s still the original guys rather than three new actors playing the original guys. Lord Tensai v. Yoshi Tatsu Tatsu apparently was IRATE on Twitter, which is like the new cut-in promo for the social media age, I guess. Tensai pounds on Yoshi and gets the headbutts in the corner while the crowd sarcastically chants “Albert” at him. Delayed butterfly suplex and the Baldobomb finish via ref stoppage. Two weeks and he’s still not getting over, which probably isn’t a good sign. Plus we just had the legitimate badass former UFC champion knocking John Cena out, so having Albert supposedly be a badass is kind of a silly followup. Did You Know that Wrestlemania broke the stadium attendance record even with a fake number? Why not just say 100,000 people while you’re at it? If you’re gonna lie, lie big. CM Punk joins us to talk about Straight Edge. His private life drove him to become the best in the world, and now along comes Chris Jericho to bring his demons out for the world to see, and that pisses Punk off. Chris Jericho interrupts and says a lot of the same stuff, and Punk won’t be broken. And now he’s gonna take it out on Mark Henry. I kind of feel like they ran out of stuff to say with this feud and it’s just kind of stretching it out to the obligatory rematch now. WWE title: CM Punk v. Mark Henry We’re joined in progress after a break with Punk throwing knees, and he grabs a monitor and uses it for the DQ at 0:50. Punk goes to finish him by smashing the monitor on his head, but Jericho’s music stops him and Henry does the smashing instead. WITH HIS BODY. He doesn’t even need a TV, he’s man enough to do it alone. Jericho comes out with a couple of cases of beer and gets into a quick brawl with Punk, and then pours a few cold ones on him with some quality trash talk. Alberto Del Rio v. Zack Ryder Ryder is down to “in the ring to my left” level now, as he doesn’t even get an entrance anymore. Del Rio attacks and gets a seated dropkick for two, and pounds him in the corner. Blind charge misses and Zack gets the Broski boot, but the Rough Rider is countered to the armbar at 1:20. The Three Stooges join us to hype their movie and immediately get booed out of the building. “Curly” comes out as Hulk Hogan and does a decent impression, but the crowd isn’t buying into any of this garbage. Are we supposed to be so stupid that we believe they’re not actors playing roles? Like, Sean Hayes is a pretty famous guy, it’s not like people actually think he’s Larry. Kane interrupts and chokeslams Curly. Well we know Will Sasso is already a big wrestling fan so it’s not surprising he’d be into doing this. Mark Henry promises that next week, he’ll win the belt from CM Punk. Brock Lesnar lets us know that he’s not here to make any friends, he’s here to kick ass and punch people in the face. Video package for HHH v. Undertaker for some reason. David Otunga v. John Cena Otunga gets the advantage early and Cena misses a blind charge, allowing Otunga to choke him out on the ropes and drop an elbow. He gets a clothesline and stops for some posing, under the Jesse Ventura precedent of there always being time to pose, and we hit the chinlock. Cena escapes, hits the FIVE MOVES OF DOOM, and finishes with the STF at 5:00. Before he can even smile in celebration, Brock comes out, KICKS HIM IN THE NUTS, and hits another F5. I HEART BROCK. I did not heart this show outside of Brock and Cena. The Pulse: So yeah, the opening was awesome, the ending was awesome, everything else in between was kind of shitty. And way to cash in on the Daniel Bryan excitement by not even mentioning him on the show! Maybe they should just stay in Miami from now on.

Brock v. Cena

PWtorch had a small snippet of how last time around, Brock wasn’t a big fan of Cena, and would supposedly even bad mouth him to Vince http://pwtorch.com/artman2/publish/spotlightarticleboxcenter/article_59984.shtml .  I guess that could possibly explain their short feud, and was wondering if you had ever heard anything about it, or could elaborate on why Brock didn’t like Cena.

Wait, you mean Brock Lesnar didn’t get along with another person?  That IS breaking news!  Haven’t heard anything about it and I don’t recall hearing anything about it in the WON at the time either.  Probably just stemming from Brock being a miserable human being and Cena being the smiling goofball.  Come to think of it, this really is the perfect feud now, because everyone knows Cena is the outgoing smiling people person and Brock is the anti-social caveman who would just as likely give a dying kid an F5.  Brock can beat up the cancer-ridden Make-A-Wish child, and Cena will be all “Now I’m MAD!” and then he’ll laugh it off and make a poopy joke and people will wonder why he doesn’t draw anymore. 


Hey, quick question.  With Vince tentatively looking at Rock vs Brock at WM 29 in NY, should there be concern about potentially reliving Goldberg/Lesnar from WM 20.  Knowing that it would be Brocks last match and probably Rockys last match also, wouldn’t this be risky?  I think that either 1) the crowd is 100% pro-rock due to his WWE lineage (vs a Goldberg mercenary hire) or 2) the crowd is so disinterested knowing both guys will be gone the next Raw that they completely turn on everything, circa WM 20.  Thoughts?

I think it’s a little bit early to start worrying about the crowd reactions for a match that hasn’t even been announced yet. 

So Much For Overeem


Whoops, there goes another UFC main event.  Who would have ever suspected that someone would go from cruiserweight to super heavyweight and be involved in illicit activities to get there?  I am SHOCKED and APPALLED.  Drug testing the guys at the press conference was devious and brilliant.

Wonder if Brock will campaign to get his loss to Overeem overturned now.

1.9 Million Buys?!?

I would be incredibly skeptical of that number.  To say the least. Not to mention it generally takes at least a few weeks to get prelim numbers.

Still, if so, go Rock.  

Edited to add:  Dave made a quick comment on the WON board that Ramsey probably misheard 1.09 million, which would be a much more reasonable number.


Hey Scotty, With all the hullabaloo about Brock Lesnar and Daniel Bryan since Wrestlemania, I have to ask. Do you think the WWE are going to use up one of Brock’s matches against Daniel Bryan. I bet the two of them could have an epic David vs. Goliath matchup. My concern is that you’d have to feed Brock a few victims to really build up the importance of D-Bryan being able to hang for longer than a few minutes with him? Also, with John Laurenit-whoever you spell it pitching Punk to defend his title every week, do you think they’re doing a Batman: Knightfall type angle, with Punk so exhausted from beating everyone else that Brock can just step in, break his back and walk off with the title? Finally, even though I said I’d retire from asking for a plug, like all good wrestlers, I LIED! 🙂 Any chance you could plug my wonderful and not at all Batman biased Top 30 Comic Book Films of All Time http://bit.ly/sDvokz Thanks, your old friend, That Film Guy

My god man, are you trying to cause the implosion of the universe due to the awesomeness of two money-drawing blog topics being pitted against each other in a battle for the ages?  If so, WELL PLAYED.  YES!  YES!  YES!  As for the serious answer, I’m pretty certain they’re keeping Bryan far away from Brock given they apparently have to pay out more than their usual PPV break-even point just to get him in the ring.  David and Goliath is nice when someone thinks David has a shot, but they’re better off having Brock go through the big guns and making all their money back.  For question 2, yes.  Brock is THE GUY and you need to get the belt on THE GUY, so whether it’s Brock dismantling Punk or the more likely scenario of them putting the belt onto a bigger draw and having Brock dismantle THEM, yes, Punk seems to be on borrowed time with that belt.  And no, I will not plug your site.

The Brock Lesnar Thread!

Let’s see which one gets more views, the Brock thread or the Bryan thread.  Social experiment!

Cena/Lesnar 1 was almost exactly 9 years to the day of Extreme Rules. Do you run Cena/Lesnar 2 that early? I think they should, and play up the history of the first match being the launching pad for Cena becoming more than a mid card novelty act.

You sure do run it that early.  They’ve apparently got Brock locked in for 8 PPV appearances at a staggering amount of money for each (Dave was vague on the numbers on the radio show this morning, but it’s more than the $50,000 per match he got in Japan and less for the year than he made in one UFC fight), so they gotta start using him.  However currently the advertising for Extreme Rules has Punk v. Cena as the main event, so they might change the title to Cena there and have Brock win it early on at another PPV like Money In The Bank.  The goal here is not Brock v. Cena anyway, the goal is Brock ploughs through Cena, Randy Orton, Sheamus, and CM Punk, wins the WWE title at Royal Rumble or earlier from whoever the unlucky sap holding it is, and drops the belt to the Rock at Wrestlemania in his last match on the way out.  That’s how the money will be made.  Whether they can resist the temptation to have him put someone over besides Rock, or whether Lesnar can resist the temptation to tell Vince to go fuck himself sometime around Summerslam, that’s another matter.

Quick question for you:
I keep debating to myself which the best way financially and entertainment wise to redebut Brock.  While there are many different ways, I think there are four practical options the wwe had:
1. Advertise him for mania in some capacity
2. Have him show up unannounced at mania
3. Have him show up unannounced on raw (which they did)
4. Advertise his first appearance at extreme rules
I don’t know which option would be best, I feel advertising him last minute for mania would have to increase the buyrate in some capacity ( even if only 1 million to 1.05) and you would still get a bump for extreme rules since he will (presumably) be competing. I also wonder if having him interfere unannounced in rock/cena would cause a considerable backlash (a year long hyped match ending by interference).
Just wondering your thoughts.

Mania was the Rock show and Lesnar wouldn’t move the needle without an angle behind it, so I would say no buys there.  I think having him F5 Rock so that Cena won would have been pretty awesome and set up next year’s main event, and probably would have tempered any anger fans might have had with Cena winning.  Plus then Cena beats the Rock and faces Lesnar on a winning note before he gets demolished.  Last night’s way worked just as well for me, though.