Place to be Network Rewind Series: WCW Bash at the Beach 1996

From the fine folks at Place to be Nation, listen to the podcast that discusses one of the most influential PPV’s in the history of professional wrestling. This podcast also features Scott Keith as a special guest so click on the link below and give it a listen.

http://placetobenation.com/place-to-be-network-rewind-series-bash-at-the-beach-1996/

 

 

 

 

 

The SmarK Rant for WCW Great American Bash 1996

The SmarK Rant for WCW Great American Bash 96 – 06.16.96 Upgraded from my Roku Streaming Stick to the brand new version of the Roku 3 today, and everything is blazingly fast now. Except for the WWE Network, which immediately crashed the Roku when I tried to fast-forward something. Because of course. Live from Baltimore, MD Your hosts are Tony Schiavone & Dusty Rhodes. I totally forgot about the goofy SNME-style promos before the show, actually. They were definitely ripping off aspects of the WWF presentation style around this point. Fire & Ice v. The Steiner Brothers Ice Train overpowers Scott for two, but the Steiners clean house. Norton works on Rick, but he gets suplexed for two and Scott adds a dropkick. Norton of course is merely inconvenienced and beats Scott down, allowing Ice Train to come in for more punishment. Corner splash misses and Scott suplexes him out of the corner, then he suplexes Norton and nearly breaks his neck. He’s got a pretty thick neck anyway, I’m sure he wouldn’t have even noticed. Norton bails and Scott tries a flying bodypress in the ring, but Norton catches him with a powerslam for two. Train comes in and works on the shoulder, with Norton adding a shoulderbreaker into an armbar. Rick repeatedly kicks Norton in the face to break that up and I’m sensing some tensions here. Another shoulderbreaker, but Scott manages to tag Rick while on Norton’s back and Rick runs wild with clotheslines. Fire & Ice double-team Rick with a powerbomb into a splash, however, and they try a Doomsday Device, but Scott breaks it up and they get the flying bulldog on Norton for two. Scott with the Frankensteiner on Norton to finish at 10:31. Kudos to Flash for taking that thing. Good hard-hitting match to start. *** US Title: Konnan v. El Gato Gato is no Joe Gomez as far as challengers go. As always, I remind you that El Gato is Spanish for “Pat Tanaka”. This was typical WCW weirdness, as they decided to book a match between Konnan and a masked man named El Gato, but had no real idea of who would play the part. So instead of getting any actual Mexicans, they found Tanaka at whatever waffle house he was wrestling out of in 1996 and gave him the gig instead. And they’re not even TRYING, as Tanaka is just wearing his usual gear with a Tiger Mask gimmick stuck over his trademark hair. Gato uses his South American martial arts to take Konnan down with armdrags, but Konnan puts him down with a clothesline for two. Gato gets a superkick for two and a sunset flip for two, but Konnan takes him down and works on the leg. Konnan puts him on the floor with a powerbomb, and then finishes with a jackknife slam back in the ring at 5:57 to retain. Just a Nitro match. ** Sting goes on a huge rant against Steven Regal and his prissy mannerisms, but then completely loses his train of thought mid-promo in a funny goof and Gene has to give him a minute and jumpstart him again. That was definitely live. Lord of the Ring match: Diamond Dallas Page v. Marcus Bagwell They immediately fight to the floor and Bagwell sends Page into the front row, but DDP cuts him off on the way back in. Bagwell starts working on the arm as Tony relates a backstory about a film student finding DDP homeless on the campus of his college and then giving him the money to enter WCW again. So was that the payoff the benefactor angle? Bagwell dumps him and follows with a dive, but goes up and gets crotched as DDP takes over. Backbreaker gets two. Backdrop suplex gets two. Page with the abdominal stretch and some sort of half-hearted piledriver for two. Bagwell comes back with a pair of atomic drops and a slingshot clothesline for two, but a blind charge misses and DDP gets two. Bagwell comes back again with a headscissors, but DDP drops him with the Cutter at 9:36. You can see them building up the “out of nowhere” aspect of that move and really getting it over. **1/4 Pretty dull stuff here. WCW Cruiserweight title: Dean Malenko v. Rey Mysterio Jr. For those keeping track, this is where the show really takes off. This is of course Rey’s PPV debut, on par with a Joe Gomez although without the longevity or career highs to follow. They do the stalemate sequence to start and start pulling out the awesome lucha gymnastics as Dean bumps to the floor. Rey with the springboard dropkick, and back in for a sunset flip out of a knucklelock. Dean dumps him and tries a baseball slide, but Rey casually slides back in to avoid it. Back in, Dean goes to work on the arm with some vicious stuff, but Rey walks the ropes and dropkicks out of it. Dean puts him down with a clothesline out of the corner for two and goes back to the arm with a hammerlock slam for two. Dean really cranks on the arm as this stays on the mat for way too long. Dean stomps him down and starts on the arm again. What an odd choice of a match style for REY MYSTERIO to debut with. Even WWE knew enough to have him go out there and fly all over the ring when he started. Butterfly suplex gets two. Dean goes back to the arm, but Rey finally makes the comeback and puts Dean on the floor before following with an insane somersault plancha halfway up the aisle. Back in with a springboard dropkick for two. They trade pinfall reversals for two and the West Coast Pop gets two. They fight to the top and Rey takes him down with a rana for two, and reverses a backbreaker attempt for two. Dean blocks another rana attempt with a powerbomb and pins him with his feet on the ropes to retain at 17:55, however. Those last few minutes were CRAZY. **** Meltzer kind of buried the match, despite giving it the same rating, noting that Rey’s cred was pretty much shot now because he lost his debut to a midcard guy. BURIED. And he spelled his name wrong, listing it as “Oscar Gonzales”. DOUBLE BURIED. Big Bubba v. John Tenta They brawl outside to start and Tenta throws him into the stairs and then works him over in the corner. Bubba finds an international object and slugs Tenta down for two, then follows with an enzuigiri for two. Tenta tries a slam and falls back, and Bubba smothers him for a while. Bubba goes up, however, and Tenta powerslams him for the pin at 5:31. Unfortunately, this feud MUST CONTINUE. DUD Falls Count Anywhere: Chris Benoit v. Kevin Sullivan They immediately do a crazy brawl into the crowd and up the stairs, ending up in the men’s bathroom. Dusty is just in his glory here, as this is literally the greatest thing he’s ever seen, culminating with them fighting over a urinal and a woman in the men’s bathroom. Sullivan shoves Benoit’s head into the extra toilet paper and they get into a vicious slugfest before heading down into the arena again. Sullivan just dumps him down the stairs and chucks a chair at him at ringside. Benoit retrieves a table and they take turns whipping each other into it, but Benoit sets it on the top rope and they fight on top of it. And then from there, Benoit finally puts him away with a superplex at 9:52 to a huge pop. Can’t really go with the full monty any more, but it was still a great brawl with non-stop action, that set a template for Vince Russo for years afterwards. Not to mention it was Dusty’s finest hour as a commentator, even as he lost one of his oldest friends the day before. Now that’s a pro. ****1/4 Benoit goes for the beatdown, but Arn Anderson makes the save…and then turns on Sullivan and kicks the shit out of him as well. And that was an awesome payoff, too. Meanwhile, the newly rejuvenated Horsemen cut their victory promo, and they wouldn’t be done yet tonight. Apparently Benoit has now “earned his stripes” with the Horsemen and is set for life with them. Sting v. Lord Steven Regal At this point I switch to the iPad for various reasons, and the quality is pretty iffy on it tonight. Also, has anyone commented recently how “The Man Called Sting” and “Steinerized” are basically the same song? Because they totally are. This was actually a pretty fantastic little feud built up on Nitro and WCWSN, with Regal being all kinds of a British super-dick and Sting being all “America is awesome, derp derp” and damn if it didn’t work great. Sting attacks to start, but Regal takes him down and pounds him with forearms, but Sting fights him off and Regal goes to argue with the front row for a bit. Thankfully the crowd is aware of their location in the USA and informs Mr. Regal. Back in, Steve offers a heartfelt handshake and smile, Sting THRUSTS HIS CROTCH at him. Is this how America treats visiting dignitaries and great men like Mr. Regal? No wonder he hates all the fans. Regal takes him down and rubs his knee in his face, then goes into a cobra clutch and pounds away with forearms. Regal controls him with a full nelson, but Sting takes him down with a sunset flip for two. Regal, who is a great professional wrestler, makes faces while fighting the move and threatens to take out his frustrations by punching the referee in the face at the same time. Regal was on another level of greatness at this point. Unfortunately we’re getting close to the point where he indulged in the drink and got fat and lazy for a long time. Regal with a dropkick for two and he goes to a headlock, but Sting suplexes out. Regal stays on him with a wacky armbar while yelling at the bloody fools in the front row and using the ropes. MULTITASKING~! Sting comes back with an abdominal stretch, but Regal slugs him down and shows his dance moves. Regal puts him in a headscissors and gets two off that, and he goes back to cranking on the arm. Sting fights up, so Regal hits him with rabbit punches (Dusty: “He needs to hit him with that open hand…NO NOT YOU, REGAL!”) and Sting goes down again. Regal goes for a crossbody out of the corner and Sting hits him with a dropkick with AWESOME timing and makes the comeback. They fight to the top and Regal takes him down with a butterfly suplex for two and hooks in the Regal Stretch, giving him the quality demoralizing trashtalk at the same time. Finally he just beats on Sting in the corner with backhands, and Sting has HAD ENOUGH. Sting beats the hell out of him with an awesome camera angle in the corner, but Regal blocks the Stinger splash with double knees. Sting isn’t taking more of Regal’s shit, however, and just hooks him in the Deathlock (with Regal kicking and screaming the whole way) to finish for good at 17:10. LOVED IT. Regal was just an insufferable dick the whole time and Sting got his revenge. FOR MURICA. **** Ric Flair & Arn Anderson v. Steve McMichael & Kevin Greene Most people were expecting a by-the-numbers celebrity trainwreck, which makes what we got all the better. The crowd already hates Mongo and some dudes managed to bring in a huge “Mongo Sucks” sign on a bedsheet. They’re not wrong. Arn does some football drills with Mongo and that goes badly for him. Tony relates a conversation with the football players, where he learns that rattlesnake hunting is a profession in Texas. Dusty is flabbergasted. “Of course! We all hunt rattlesnakes in Texas!” The football team does a beatdown on Arn in the corner at Savage’s behest and the Horsemen regroup, and Kevin Greene comes in for his debut. Greene is having a blast and Flair comes in and matches energy with him, then waits for Greene to go into the three-point stance and kicks him in the face. Greene comes back with shoulderblocks, however, and the Horsemen run away again. And this time Savage kicks Flair’s ass and tosses him back in. Flair is so great that he actually makes two green rookies look like killers and makes the crowd cheer for them. Mongo tags in and Arn pulls back from Flair’s tag in a funny bit. Mongo keeps overpowering Flair as they keep it simple and effective, and Mongo no-sells the chops and does his own, then adds a backdrop as Flair is just bumping like crazy here. Flair goes up and gets slammed off, and we get stereo figure-fours from the football players as the crowd goes crazy for it. The women all head back to the dressing room after an argument and Arn finally turns the tide with a cheapshot on Mongo, and the Horsemen go to work. Mongo gets dumped and Bobby gets his shots in, and back in Flair goes low and drops the knee to make sure the heels get no sympathy from the crowd. Kevin Greene as the babyface who is incredulously angry at the rampant cheating is just amazing for someone having his first match. The Horsemen cut off the tag to continue building sympathy for Mongo as face in peril, but he rams the Horsemen together off an atomic drop and makes the hot tag to Greene. Powerslam on Flair and you can see Flair leading him through the positioning for the next spot, but doing it totally naturally. Greene suplexes him in from the apron, but Arn clips him from behind like a dick and goes after the knee. The Horsemen cut off the ring and Flair tries the figure-four, but Greene reverses into a small package for two. Flair stays on him with the kneecrusher and this time gets the move, complete with help from Arn in the corner. Finally Savage can take no more of these shenanigans, but Chris Benoit joins us and beats on him. And then the evil women return with newly glammed out Debra and the Halliburton case filled with cash, which Mongo considers carefully…and then hits Greene in the face with it. Flair gets the pin at 20:50 of an insanely entertaining tag match. ***1/2 And the Four Horsemen are complete again! We get an epic beatdown of Randy Savage and Kevin Greene for good measure. Mongo was a terrible worker but fit in perfectly with the group as a character. Given that everyone assumed it would be the usual goofy match and celebrity going over Flair formula, this was awesome. This would have been the capper on any other PPV as it is. But wait, there’s MORE! Eric Bischoff brings out the invading Hall and Nash, so that WCW can formally answer their challenge. Bischoff still won’t use their names, which is another nice touch. So the match will happen at Bash at the Beach, and Bischoff specifically asks if they work for the WWF, trying to get the lawyers off his back. Bischoff promises the reveal the WCW team on Nitro, so Hall kicks him in the gut and Nash powerbombs him off the stage and through a table, which has the crowd freaking out. This was amazing on so many levels, not the least of which was that Bischoff had never been touched to that point, and it was the first acknowledgement that Bischoff was the guy in charge of the company, a year before Vince came out as owner of the WWF on TV. Needless to say, I was losing my shit at this point and this was one of the biggest angles in the history of the company. It was suddenly a totally different atmosphere, with two guys who weren’t playing by the arbitrary rules of the wrestling “universe” coming in and just doing what they wanted in ways that fans didn’t know how to react to yet. It was DIFFERENT and off-putting and suddenly made everything must-see and dangerous. Really, the World title match should have been stuck in the middle of the show somewhere because nothing was going to top that, but they go ahead with it anyway. WCW World title: The Giant v. Lex Luger Really, these guys have no hope of following anything that came before. Luger slugs away on the Giant to start and clotheslines him to the floor, then does a clumsy leap onto Giant’s back with a sleeper. Jimmy Hart tries to break it up with the megaphone, but Sting comes out and chases Jimmy to the back. Giant beats Luger down in the corner to escape and whips Luger around the ring, as Luger somehow grunts even louder when he’s selling than when he’s on offense. Giant puts him in a body vice and tosses him down for a surfboard and the crowd is just totally dead. Can’t even blame them. Giant slowly pounds away on the back. Lex makes the comeback with the offense grunts instead of the defense grunts and pounds away on the Giant, who charges and ends up laying on the top rope somehow. Luger uses that contrived position to put him in the Rack, but Giant falls on top of him and finishes with the chokeslam to retain cleanly at 9:30. I think with hindsight they should have put the title on Luger here and passed it to Hogan that way, since it would have ripped the hearts out of the fans that much more and Luger had earned it anyway. *1/2 The Pulse If not for the main event, this is the greatest PPV in WCW history and probably one of the greatest of all-time, period. As it is, it sits comfortably below Bash 89 on my list. Taken with Bash at the Beach three weeks later, it’s a hell of a one-two punch that nearly destroyed the WWF in the process and really, probably should have. Strongest recommendation!

Bash at the Beach 1999

Bash
at
the
Beach
1999
Date:
July
11, 1999
Location:
National
Car
Rental
Center,
Fort
Lauderdale,
Florida
Attendance:
13,624
Commentators:
Bobby
Heenan,
Tony
Schiavone
Reviewed by Tommy Hall
We’re going in a new
direction at this point in WCW as the promotion has gone from really
boring to freaking insane in the course of a few weeks. A good chunk
of this show was booked within the last few weeks and knowing the
stories isn’t likely going to help me get through it. Let’s get to
it.

I’ve
actually seen this show far more often than I should as I found it at
a Blockbuster for $2 when I was about thirteen. It took many years
to suppress those memories but here we go again.
The
opening video is a wordless montage about the four men in the main
event. I mean, if there’s one story that doesn’t need a verbal
explanation, it’s one about Savage and Sid trying to kill Nash and
then the heroic champion kidnapping and potentially raping Gorgeous
George, causing Savage to throw her out of their dressing room with a
side plot of Sting potentially driving the Hummer that nearly killed
Nash and then Nash changing the rules of the tag match so that
anyone, including his partner, can pin him for the title. Also for
some reason they air the video then show it about five more times as
a very fast speed.
Tony
says the tag match tonight started as a tag match. It was once going
to be Sting/Nash vs. Savage/Sid in a tag team match, but it’s now
Sting/Nash vs. Savage/Sid in a tag team match. No that’s not a
misprint.
After those words of
wisdom, Schiavone explains the junkyard match and the boxing match
before throwing it to Gene for a Hotline ad.
Mike
Tenay is at the junkyard, which he knows about because his sources
told him where to go. Apparently there’s going to be a ring of cars
with a bunch of obstacles to get around and the first person to jump
over a fence and escape wins. This company is rapidly becoming more
of a parody of wrestling than an actual wrestling promotion.
Video on the Cat vs.
Disco Inferno. Cat had a kickboxing match with Jerry Flynn and lost
via DQ so Flynn took him down in a brawl after the match. He and
Disco had a dance off a week earlier, making the kickboxing stuff
completely pointless.
Disco Inferno vs.
The Cat
The
original stipulation was the loser could never dance again but that
has since been dropped. The lawyers must be working overtime as the
match was announced three days ago and the stipulation was never
mentioned on Thunder. Miller rants before the match and wants
another dance contest before we get going. He demands that the
people all vote for him or else he’ll beat them all up. Tony
explains that he’ll lose because he threatened the fans because WCW
thinks we’re rather thick headed. Disco dances for about two seconds
before Cat goes after him and we’re ready to go.
Inferno
starts like a kitchen of fire (not enough for a whole house) and
sends Miller sliding out to the floor. Back in and Cat nails a few
kicks, so Disco just tackles him to the mat and hammers away. Some
atomic drops from Disco set up some miscommunication on what looked
to be his swinging neckbreaker.
Cat comes back with a
kick to the head and walks around as Sonny gets in a few shots of his
own. Those are as effective as you would expect since Sonny, a
legitimately accomplished karate fighter, is a manager and therefore
incapable of hurting anyone. Back in and Disco grabs a quick sunset
flip for two but gets his head kicked off again.
Another kick misses
though and Disco legsweeps him down, setting up a middle rope elbow
for two. Cat rakes the eyes and puts on the shoe, only to have Disco
take it away and blast him in the face. Sonny’s distraction makes it
only a two count though, allowing Cat to put the shoe back on and
kick Disco for about the fifth time for the pin.
Rating:
D.
This really was the best thing they could think of to start a show?
It’s really hard to care about a match with no build, no value and
nothing beyond basic moves. The fact that it had Ernest Miller in
there made things even less interesting. It’s not even a horrible
match or anything, but there’s just no reason to care about something
like that.
Judge Mills Lane won’t
put up with any garbage tonight and will chase Bagwell or Piper if
need be.
We
recap the TV Title match. The video starts with Van Hammer surviving
against Disco Inferno because the referee was down and a handful of
tights. Then Flair saved Hammer from getting put through a table by
banning hardcore matches, allowing Hammer to hit Hugh Morrus with a
table and drive him through it. Somehow that earned him a TV Title
shot here.
TV
Title: Rick Steiner vs. Van Hammer
Keep
in mind that there really isn’t a face in this match as there’s no
reason to like either guy. Steiner comes out first for no apparent
reason. They trade hard shots to the face to start and Steiner is
knocked out to the floor. Steiner goes into his new standard of just
driving someone down to the mat and ripping at their face a lot.
Back up and Rick hammers away before taking Hammer outside to send
him into the barricade.
Rick
hits a horrible looking DDT on the exposed concrete and covers on the
floor to continue getting on my nerves. Back in and Hammer hits him
low, only to have Rick punch him in the face to take over again.
They head outside one more time with Hammer nailing him in the head
with a chair before taking him back inside for the Alabama Slam for
two. Steiner bites him between the legs, punts him in the same spot
(referee just watches him) and hits the Steiner Bulldog to retain.
Rating:
F.
Rick Steiner has reached the point where he’s an embarrassment.
Between never selling anything from a chair shot to a low blow,
there’s just nothing Hammer (who isn’t the guy you want carrying a
bag of groceries, let alone a PPV title match) can do. What WCW saw
in him other than name recognition I’ll never know, but if someone
thinks he’s skilled in the ring, they have no business being in
charge of a wrestling company.
We
get an overhead view of the junkyard, which really just looks like a
parking lot with a bunch of cars stacked up in a circle. The winner
gets a trophy but Tenay can’t answer who is going to be in the match
because it’s unsanctioned.
We recap David Flair
being named US Champion, meaning we just see the segment again.
Again, weren’t the Flairs fighting months ago about David siding with
Torrie and having his father hold him down? Now David has ten women
around him (including Torrie) and his dad made him US Title. That’s
a big jump in the span of five months.
US Title: Dean
Malenko vs. David Flair
David
is defending of course and comes out with Torrie, in a very pushed up
tied off top, shirt that might be nine inches long, and a black
cowboy hat. Ric, Arn and Asya are here too but Johnny Boone is
refereeing. Tony says David hasn’t been impressive in all of his
title defenses. You know, all one of them.
Dean of course throws
him down with ease and stomps away in the corner before planting
David with a suplex. Ric comes in but gets decked as Dean puts on
the Cloverleaf. Anderson nails the referee with a spinebuster,
allowing Robinson to take over as referee. Dean Cloverleafs Asya but
Ric nails him with the US Title to give David the pin.
Rating:
F.
Dang it this was just long enough to grade. As I said in the Nitro
review, I get the idea they’re going for here, but wasn’t there
another scrub you could put in there instead of Malenko? I know Dean
isn’t going to be headlining a PPV anytime soon, but he’s the kind of
guy that should actually be the US Champion. This kind of story is
good in the right circumstances, but WCW isn’t in a place where they
can turn yet another title into a joke and keep beating their midcard
guys into the ground, even in a match that doesn’t end anywhere near
clean.
Long
recap of the Rednecks vs. the No Limit Soldiers, complete with the
full I Hate Rap video. Barry Windham is such a talented drummer that
he just scares the drums into playing themselves because he certainly
isn’t hitting them. This includes a lot of shouting HOOTY HOO, which
amazingly enough didn’t get the rappers over. Master P. is long
gone, apparently saying that there weren’t enough of “his people”
in the audience for the night the angle took off. That would be in
P.’s hometown in New Orleans if you aren’t big on guys who shout like
owls.
No Limit Solders vs.
West Texas Rednecks
Swoll, B.A., Rey
Mysterio Jr., Konnan
Curt Hennig, Barry
Windham, Kendall Windham, Bobby Duncum Jr.
Elimination
tag, which I believe is the first explanation of the rules for this
match. The best part of this: the camera comes back to the arena
early, showing ring announcer David Penzer counting the fans down on
when to cheer. Tony fails at covering for him by saying that he was
saying hi to his five family members in the audience. The levels
that this company falls to when trying to cover their mistakes is
astounding. Heenan redeems things a bit by saying that the Soldiers’
problem could be solved if they just put a light in their closets.
Rey and Konnan make sure to shout a lot before we’re ready to go.
Mysterio
and Barry get things going with the Cruiserweight Champion getting
hammered down in the corner. Rey comes back by sending Barry into
the corner and getting two off a split legged moonsault. Off to
Hennig vs. B.A. with Armstrong nailing a dropkick before trying to
talk some trash. Thankfully that goes nowhere as it’s off to Duncum
before the big Swoll comes in with a bad looking clothesline. Swoll
hammers on Duncum but Kendall comes in with a cheap shot to take
over.
Kendall
misses a charge into the post so Mysterio comes in without a tag.
Naturally the referee is fine with this. Kendall tries to beat the
rules into him but Rey nails him with a springboard seated senton to
knock both Kendall and Duncum out to the floor. Back in and it’s
Konnan vs. Hennig before Rey hits another springboard seated senton
on Hennig. Duncum and Hennig both get hammered in the corner until
it’s Swoll ducking Duncum’s cross body for two in an awkward
sequence. Rey adds a springboard legdrop and Swoll pins Bobby.
The other Soldiers,
Chase and 4×4 (who makes Ezekiel Jackson look like David Flair) beat
up Duncum in the aisle because they’re heroes. Barry and Konnan
hammer away on each other until Curt comes back in for a double
clothesline. Off to BA as the Rednecks keep control with Curt
nailing a quick HennigPlex to make it 3-3. Mysterio tried to dive in
for a save but came in too fast and basically started crawling in
slow motion for no logical reason.
So it’s Konnan getting
beaten down now with Kendall hitting a bad looking lariat and a
slightly better looking slam. He misses a middle rope knee though
and Konnan hits a rolling lariat of his own (called a DDT by Tony),
followed by the facebuster for two. Rey dropkicks Kendall into a
horrible “rollup” for the pin on Kendall. Barry DDTs Konnan for
two as 4×4 and Chase beat up Kendall.
Everything
breaks down with Barry going to the floor…..and being carried off
by Chase with Konnan following. For some reason this isn’t a DQ and
both guys are counted out. So it’s Hennig vs. Swoll/Mysterio. Swoll
comes in for some incredibly sloppy offense as Barry comes back in.
Curt tries to bail but 4×4 stops him in his tracks. Back in and
Swoll hits his stupid palm strike to the chest before bringing in Rey
for the Jimmy Snuka/Andre the Giant big splash off the shoulders for
the pin.
Rating:
C-.
Swoll is horrible. Like he’s really, really bad, to the point that
he can barely throw punches correctly. I understand that he was
really new at this, but as WCW should have learned over the years,
that’s why he shouldn’t be on a major show like this. The Soldiers
continue to act entirely like heels here, just like they have for
most of this feud.
The
announcers chat for a bit about the rest of the card.
We get Hak’s challenge
for the junkyard match.
Junkyard
Invitational
Ciclope, Jerry Flynn,
Johnny Grunge, Hak, Horace Hogan, Brian Knobs, Hugh Morrus, La Parka,
Lord Steven Regal, Fit Finlay, Rocco Rock, Silver King, Squire David
Taylor, and Mikey Whipwreck
They’re in a junkyard,
first person to climb over a fence wins. The place is huge so
there’s almost no way to see more than four or five people at once
unless you go to a helicopter shots. Public Enemy (a surprise) flips
a car over as I’m only going to be able to call big spots. There are
barrels of fire everywhere. Jerry Flynn puts an electrical cord into
an engine to make sparks fly out. Knobbs dives off one car for an
elbow onto King on the roof of a van.
Finlay
hits la Parka in the ribs with a bumper as Dave Taylor hits Morrus in
the head with a trashcan lid. The annoyed look on Morrus’ face as he
just keeps walking is rather amusing. The camera shots are only
lasting about ten seconds at most so it’s hard to call much of
anything. Jimmy Hart is running around in a yellow shirt and a hard
hat. Rocco Rock is thrown into the window of a van. Morrus dives
off a car with an elbow onto Rock because they’re already repeating
spots.
I
think Ciclope dives off a car onto about six guys before they start
throwing things at each other instead of doing anything coherent.
Finlay goes Captain America by blocking a punch with a trashcan lid
and hitting Horace in the face with it. Brian wraps Taylor in a tire
as we’re waiting on someone to try and win. Rocco and Horace make
the first trip over with Horace making a last second save to keep
Rock from escaping.
Silver King is bleeding
from the arm as this just keeps going. Taylor has to dance out of a
tire before Knobs and Hak put Finlay in a car. A forklift pops up
and takes the car over to the crusher but Finlay gets out to prevent
death. Of course the forklift hasn’t been seen all match until this
point. Then another car blows up and Finlay climbs over the fence to
win.
Rating:
N/A.
This wasn’t wrestling, and quite frankly I’m really not sure what it
was. Why in the world WCW thought this was a good idea is beyond me
and I’m sure the live audience is going to be THRILLED after having
sat there for fifteen minutes waiting on this to end. On top of all
that, Finlay would hurt his leg soon after this at a house show (in a
hardcore match of course) and be out for months, making the whole
thing worthless. I can’t imagine he’s the only one to get injured in
this mess either.
We
recap the Triad vs. Saturn/Benoit. They fought each other, then they
fought each other some more, then they had some singles matches, now
they’re having a title match. For some reason we get a bunch of
clips of the eight man tag from Nitro which doesn’t seem to be going
anywhere, other than a boxing match. They’re trying to tie this into
the old vs. new feud, which doesn’t even seem to be a thing anymore.
Tag Team Titles:
Chris Benoit/Perry Saturn vs. Jersey Triad
The
Triad is defending. Kanyon starts on the floor as Saturn and Page
slug it out in the middle. It’s Saturn taking over with a bunch of
right hands before knocking Bigelow and Kanyon off the apron for good
measure. Off to Bigelow vs. Benoit as the announcers call Benoit an
uncrowned champion. Hasn’t he been a three time champion by this
point? Bam Bam gets dropped into the middle buckle and sent out to
the floor for a meeting with his partners.
Back
in and Kanyon fights out of a suplex from Saturn and knees him down
against the ropes. He grabs the referee to block a German attempt,
only to have Benoit chop him into a t-bone. Back to Benoit for the
decapitation clothesline followed by a Liontamer (which he used
before Jericho). A double clothesline drops Kanyon for two more as
the challengers stay in full control. Benoit stomps Kanyon down in
the corner and starts in on his leg.
Saturn
drops a top rope legdrop for two but Page comes in without a tag to
take over, sending Saturn to the floor for a triple team to take
over. Bigelow comes in for a big suplex and a falling headbutt for
two. Back to Kanyon after Bigelow uses Flair’s “how much time is
left” trick. Kanyon drops a leg for one of the slowest two counts
I can remember in a long time. The fans get distracted by something
in the crowd so Bigelow puts Saturn in a chinlock.
Kanyon
comes back in but gets crotched on the top, setting up a belly to
belly superplex from Saturn. Benoit gets the hot tag and goes after
Bigelow, only to have Page take him down with a top rope clothesline.
Page is VERY pleased with this move, running out to the floor and
celebrating like a mad man, even climbing onto the barricade. Back
in and Page gets two off an elbow drop before it’s off to Bigelow for
some fat man offense.
Page
comes in again and runs Benoit over for two with Saturn making the
save. We get a front chancery from Page but Benoit drives him into
the corner for the hot tag, which of course the referee doesn’t see.
That wicked sitout powerbomb from Page is good for two. Benoit
finally suplexes Kanyon down but Bigelow breaks up a hot tag attempt.
Bam Bam misses the moonsault though and we FINALLY get the hot tag
to Saturn (which the camera doesn’t catch).
Saturn
cleans house with suplexes and clotheslines Page and Kanyon out to
the floor. Everything breaks down again and Saturn hits a top rope
splash, followed by the Swan Dive from Benoit but Page comes in off
the top for the save. Saturn loads Page up with the Death Valley
Driver but Kanyon throws powder in his face, only to have it get in
Page’s eyes too, causing him to Diamond Cut Kanyon. Bigelow makes
the save but Benoit Germans Page for a VERY close two. Page throws
in a metal trashcan as the referee gets bumped. He hits Kanyon by
mistake but Bigelow comes in for a 3D on Saturn to retain the titles.
Rating:
B+.
Give that match a less messy finish and it’s a classic. There was a
lot of good stuff in here and the majority of it was due to how much
time they were given. Everyone was allowed to get in there for
awhile and the fans bought into the idea of two guys trying to fight
against the big cheating team. They gave it a great effort and the
whole thing just worked. Really good stuff here, though not enough
to save this disaster of the show.
Clip of Judge Mills
Lane agreeing to referee the boxing match. That’s all of the recap
because there was no reason for this to be a boxing match other than
Piper barely being a wrestler anymore.
Roddy Piper vs. Buff
Bagwell
Big
time boxing referee Mills Lane is referee here to try to make people
care. In case you’ve never seen him, just picture Mr. Strickland
from Back to the Future. Piper has Flair in his corner. Buff’s
gloves are actually labeled “Buff’s Left” and “Buff’s Right”.
Bagwell sees Flair in Piper’s corner, so he has someone to have his
back: HIS MOM, “Judge Judy” Bagwell. And I give up. Seriously
it was bad enough when this was boxing instead of Piper just doing a
freaking job for Bagwell like he should be doing, but now BUFF’S MOM
IS HERE???
Flair
gives Bagwell a chance to leave but Buff reminds him of the pin off
the Blockbuster a few weeks back. You know, when Flair put Bagwell
over in the middle of the ring in the whole point of this entire
story. The rounds are two minutes long here. Piper sticks his chin
out to start until Buff hammers him into the corner. The fans are
dead at this point if you couldn’t guess. Bagwell tees off on Piper
(well, as much as he can BECAUSE HE ISN’T A BOXER) to end the first
round.
Flair
sprays something on Piper’s gloves in between the rounds as this
continues to fall apart. Piper hits a few jabs to the face and
Bagwell’s eyes are burning. He gets punched down in the corner as
Judy brings over a sponge to try and clean Buff’s eyes out. Back up
and Piper wildly swings until Buff knocks Piper down in the corner in
an identical sequence from Piper vs. Mr. T. thirteen years ago,
because that’s what this is supposed to be….a tribute to I suppose?
Piper gets up as round two ends.
I’m
going to pause for a second here and give you a bit of context to
what is about to happen. Fifteen months ago, WCW was still in
control of the Monday Night Wars and hadn’t lost a night in the
ratings in nearly two years. Their last win was about nine months
before this. Yeah they were in trouble, but it’s not like they were
so desperate for something good to happen that they had to go insane.
A few weeks back, Buff Bagwell hit his finishing move and pinned Ric
Flair in the middle of the ring on Nitro, which should have been the
start of a huge push for him. After all that, I give you the third
round of this boxing match.
Piper
jumps Bagwell in the corner and attacks Bagwell early, so his mother
Judy gets in the ring and bites Piper’s ear. She then dumps the spit
bucket over Piper’s head as Buff punches Flair off the apron. Buff
goes up and hits the Blockbuster on Piper as Judy holds Flair on the
apron, allowing Buff to pin Piper for the win. Judy chases the
President of WCW around the ring after the match.
Rating:
G.
As in below an F and for GOOD FREAKING GRIEF THEY REALLY COULDN’T
COME UP WITH ANYTHING BETTER THAN THIS??? Piper wasn’t capable of
doing a five minute match and doing a job for Bagwell? Does WCW
really think that it’s important enough to protect him from taking a
fall in a wrestling match that they’ll let him take a fall in a
boxing match? Read that sentence back and see how insane it sounds.
Now throw in Judy Bagwell and more hijinks than an episode of Looney
Tunes and you see what happened to WCW in the summer of 1999.
We
recap Nash/Sting vs. Savage/Sid. Savage being a woman beater and
Nash potentially raping George is glossed over. On the other hand,
the Fake Sting attacking Nash, causing Nash to go after Sting, even
though the real Sting came out to beat up the Fake Sting, is left out
with only the Fake Sting beating Nash down being shown. For some
reason Nash wanted this to be a tag team match where anyone,
including his partner, could pin him for the title. Again, this
isn’t mentioned in the video. We’ll also ignore Nash saying he saw
Sting driving the Hummer before we see that happening in the package.
WCW World Title: Sid
Vicious/Randy Savage vs. Kevin Nash/Sting
Nash
is defending in what is more like a handicap fatal fourway than a tag
match if that makes sense. In theory Sting can only pin Nash for the
title, meaning it’s basically one on one on two. Thankfully Tony
mentions the whole Sting can pin Nash and the real Sting coming out
during the entrances. Yes, we’ve reached the point where Tony
Schiavone is having to cover for the production team’s goofs.
George
(living up to the gorgeous moniker tonight) comes out in sunglasses
but takes them off to reveal a black eye as she goes to stand in
Nash’s corner. The reason for the black eye isn’t explained because
that really wasn’t something that should have happened, nor is it
even referenced by the announcers. Savage and Sting start but Randy
sees George changing corners and freaks out. Sting uses the chance
to deck Savage and the fight is slowly on.
Off
to Sid to face Sting as Tony explains the rules, making this match
even more confusing that it was in the first place. Sting quickly
knocks Sid out to the floor but Nash isn’t interested in tagging. So
in theory, if Nash doesn’t get pinned, he doesn’t lose the title?
It’s not like we’ve ever gotten a clear answer to that, though to be
fair I doubt WCW thought it that far through. Sid and Savage start
double teaming Sting with the big man putting on a bad looking camel
clutch.
Savage
comes in and spits at the champ, but thankfully doesn’t hit his hair.
Sting finally rolls away and makes the tag to Nash for all the usual
offense. He has Savage in trouble but gives Sting a very hard tag to
get out. Sting takes it outside and splashes the barricade before
Savage takes him back inside for some choking. Tony points out that
almost no one has tries to pin Nash yet, making the whole stipulation
rather pointless.
Sid
hooks one of the lamest chinlocks I’ve ever seen on Sting, who is
nice enough to go down to the mat in a heap. Granted he might have
fainted after hearing some of the nonsense they actually aired on
this show. Sting fights up again and does the falling low blow spot,
allowing for the hot tag off to Nash.
Everything breaks down
and the girls come in, only to have Sting splash both of them plus
Sid. Savage and Nash get splashed at the same time, allowing Sid to
plant Sting with a chokeslam. George gets in and low blows Nash
(SHOCK AND AWE, SHOCK AND AWE), setting up the big elbow from Savage
for the pin and the title.
Rating:
D-.
I wonder if they bothered to tell everyone else in the match about
the whole Sting can pin Nash rule, because it was NEVER attempted and
was a complete non factor. George’s face turn (can you even call it
that?) lasted all of twelve minutes, meaning she’s picking the woman
beater over the kidnapper and potential rapist. I can’t believe I
just had to type that, so I’ll wrap it up by saying it’s a horrible
match.
Overall
Rating:
F.
The fact that a REALLY good twenty three minute Tag Team Title match
is needed to bring this show up to a failure tells you all you need
to know. This show had eight matches. One of them was a joke with
David Flair needing an army to beat Malenko, one wasn’t wrestling
because it was a big fight in a junkyard, and one was a boxing match.
Two of the others were matches that belonged on Thunder at best,
another one was a boring elimination tag, and one MADE NO FREAKING
SENSE.
This show blew my mind
in ways that I honestly didn’t think were possible. Just let some of
this stuff sink in for a few minutes. Roddy Piper apparently can’t
be trusted in a five minute match, we can’t have a DQ anymore because
Rick Steiner wouldn’t be able to have a match break 10 seconds if we
did, and we have to drop stipulations that are made less than three
days before the match. WCW is dying before our eyes and it’s kind of
amazing to see in a morbid way.
Remember to check out my website at kbwrestlingreviews.com and head over to my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:
http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Great American Bash 1999

Great
American Bash 1999

Date:
June 13, 1999
Location: Baltimore Arena, Baltimore,
Maryland
Attendance: 11,672
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby
Heenan, Mike Tenay 
Reviewed by Tommy Hall 
To
say this show doesn’t sound thrilling is an understatement. We’ve
spent weeks getting ready for Nash vs. Savage with antics ranging
from makeup to human waste to attempted murder. Other than that we
have Rick Steiner no selling against Sting for the TV Title and more
of the mess that is the Tag Team Title scene. Let’s get to it.

Master P. and the No
Limit Soldiers arrive. Curt Hennig pops up and says how much he
loves him and asks how much he loves him. P. signs a CD for him
(which one of his guys just had in his pocket) and Hennig breaks it.
The Soldiers all start jumping up and down and shoulding what sounds
like “Hoody who” in high pitched voices. This is a southern
promotion for a show in a southern city and they expect Hennig to be
booed here?
The opening recap video
shows us a stupid Savage vs. Nash feud.
Tony
and the announcers explain who Master P. is and call him the biggest
entertainer of our time. We hear about the main event as well.
We
recap most of the matches on the card. Well at least it cuts into
the main event time. They even go back and cover the hardcore match
twice.
Hak vs. Brian Knobs
I
sit corrected: this is a kendo stick match and Knobs is officially
part of the First Family. So why did he say he had to think about
it? Tony calls this a kendo stick hardcore match because they can’t
even keep their stupid gimmicks straight through a single entrance.
Brian has promised Mrs. Nasty a birthday win today so let’s get rid
of the sticks and have a real hardcore match. So in the span of 90
seconds we’ve gone from kendo stick to kendo stick hardcore to
hardcore. I know it doesn’t matter but it sounds like WCW has no
idea what they’re doing.
Brian
wants to throw away the weapons but Jimmy throws him a trashcan for a
cheap shot. Knobs hits him in the head with a trashcan lid and
there’s the Pit Stop. Hak stops a charge with two boots to the face
and blasts Knobs with the trashcan. It’s ladder time but Knobs comes
back with a trashcan shot of his own. He gets decked by the ladder
though and Hak hits a slingshot….something onto the ladder onto
Knobs.
Hak gets thrown into
the ladder in the corner and a few more ladder shots put him down.
The advantage only lasts a few seconds as you would expect but Hak’s
Swanton only hits ladder. Jimmy holds up a chair but Hak sends him
face first into the steel, setting up a kendo stick shot for the pin.
Rating:
F.
We waited thirteen minutes for the matches to start and this is the
best they can give us? The only positive about this is the match
wasn’t even six minutes long, which is way better than the usual
lengths that we have to sit through. It’s still bad though and I’m
tired of seeing these disasters.
Hugh Morrus comes out
and helps beat down Knobs.
Piper
is in the back when Buff comes up to thank him for giving him the
ball. He has a big match tonight (against Disco Inferno) and
promises to have Piper’s back tonight against Flair. Buff leaves and
Piper mutters about stupid kids. Lines like that defeat the purpose
of Piper as the mentor to the young guys. He should be thrilled with
where the future is going instead of being annoyed with them for
saying they’ll have his back. Also, is a match with Disco Inferno
“getting the ball” when you had a US Title match last month?
Mikey Whipwreck vs.
Van Hammer
Bonus match. Mikey
gets shoved down a few times but comes back with some armdrags.
Hammer chokes him to take over and drives a knee into Mikey’s ribs.
A middle rope slam sends Mikey flying as the fans think this is
boring. Hammer gets two off a delayed vertical suplex and a legdrop
before we hit the abdominal stretch. Nick Patrick finally catches
him holding the ropes so Hammer throws Mikey to the floor. Mikey
goes throat first over the barricade but he comes back with a legdrop
to the back of the head and a plancha. Back in and Hammer catches
him in a spinebuster, setting up a cobra clutch slam for the pin.
Rating:
D-.
Somehow that was eight and a half minutes long. To recap, we can’t
get Booker T. on this show but there’s time for Mikey Whipwreck vs.
Van Hammer. Mikey is one of those hires that never made sense. He
won like two matches in his six months with the company, even though
WCW knew he was banged up when they got him. Eh whatever you can do
to screw with ECW I guess.
Disco Inferno vs.
Buff Bagwell
In
case you didn’t get enough of it on Nitro I guess. They start fast
for a change by trading kicks to the ribs until Disco grabs a
neckbreaker to send him outside. Back in and Buff kicks him in the
ribs a few times, setting up a swinging neckbreaker of his own. Buff
cranks on an armbar and starts a DISCO SUCKS chant. An early
Blockbuster attempt sends Disco running to the floor and Buff says it
was that close.
Back
in and Bagwell flips him off (some hero) so Disco nails him with a
Stun Gun to take over. Disco chokes on the ropes so Tony
congratulates all the recent high school graduates in the country.
Ok then. More slow stomping in the corner from Inferno followed by a
dancing middle rope elbow for two. Disco goes up for the same spot
but Buff moves (that might have been some miscommunication as Tony
made a big deal about Bagwell not moving the first time) and starts
his comeback.
Some
right hands look to set up the Blockbuster but Buff takes too long
and gets crotched. They head outside and Disco hits the Last Dance,
only to take too long dancing to allow Bagwell to beat the count.
Back in and the Macarena Driver (exactly what it sounds like) is
countered with a backdrop. Buff hits some really basic stuff and
goes up for the Blockbuster. Disco ducks away but Bagwell doesn’t
bite and hits the Blockbuster for the pin. Nice little callback
there.
Rating:
D+.
Of all the guys that WCW never pulled the trigger on, Bagwell might
surprise me more than anyone else. He was young (29 here), an eight
year veteran, had a great look and a good finisher, yet he never won
a singles title in WCW. That’s not even factoring in the whole
broken neck story. He’s a good example of a guy that could have been
something but instead we’re stuck with the Steiners as the midcard
champions and Nash vs. Savage for the World Title. Bagwell never
would have carried the company or anything, but there’s no reason he
couldn’t have gotten the US or TV Titles a few times.
We
recap the battle of the musics. Again, WCW was stupid enough to
think that the country boys would be the heels in this story.
DJ
Ran wastes our time and brings in Master P. and the No Limit
Soldiers.
Curt Hennig/Bobby
Duncum Jr. vs. Rey Mysterio Jr./Konnan
Tenay
actually picks rap. We also get the debut of Rap Is Crap as the
cowboys’ theme song. I have no idea why A, Mysterio is Cruiserweight
Champion is he never defends the thing and B, why he and Konnan come
out wearing gas masks. Tenay tries and fails at getting me to care
about Master P. The rappers jump Hennig for talking trash about
Master P. and the cowboys are quickly dispatched. P. gets in a cheap
shot to the back of Curt’s head because that’s what good guys down.
We
get down to an actual match with Mysterio dropkicking Hennig to the
floor and nailing a plancha but diving into a backbreaker from
Duncum. A big powerbomb plants Rey again and Hennig slams him down
as well. Rey takes the Bret Hart chest bump into the corner and the
cowboys keep things slow. The referee misses the hot tag to Konnan
and takes him to the floor, allowing Bobby to send Mysterio hard into
the barricade.
Back
in and Curt hits a perfect dropkick to Rey’s jaw and spits at Konnan
to draw him in. Bobby crotches him against the post and Rey is in
big trouble. Hennig does a Rude hip swivel and it’s quickly back to
Duncum. Rey crawls through the legs and tags Konnan which the
referee sees but “he didn’t see it” so it doesn’t count.
Hennig
gets two off a suplex but Rey moonsaults over him and scores with a
dropkick. Now the hot tag brings in Konnan as everything breaks
down. There’s the Bronco Buster to Curt and he fights with Konnan on
the floor. Cue Barry Windham to nail Konnan but Master P.’s
bodyguard Swoll jumps the barricade and nails Duncum, setting up a
slingshot legdrop for the pin.
Rating:
D+.
This was pretty dull and the ending was messier than it needed to be.
The idea doesn’t work either as the country boys are far more
popular with WCW’s fan base but we’re supposed to cheer for rappers
who jump up and down and shout HOODY WHO for some reason. But hey,
at least Master P. is on the show right?
The
cowboys destroy the rappers post match.
The
announcers talk about what we just saw and we look at a replay of it
to waste even more time.
Cat
vs. Scott Norton
Sonny
has a briefcase with him. Actually scratch Norton as Horace comes
out to complain about getting hit with the crowbar on Thursday. Time
for a replacement.
Cat vs. Horace Hogan
Horace
says Miller couldn’t even beat himself and the fight is on. Cat gets
beaten down in the corner and choked with a boot before they head
outside. That goes nowhere so Miller kicks him in the face back
inside. Miller slams him down and throws Horace outside for some
kicks from Sonny. Back in and Horace hits a slam of his own and
drops an elbow for two. A splash gets two more but Sonny gets up on
the apron for a distraction. Horace sees through it and backdrops
Miller to the floor. In the confusion, Miller gets his sparkly red
shoe from the briefcase and kicks Horace senseless for the pin.
Rating:
D-.
Oh come on man I already had to sit through this on Thunder. Isn’t
that enough for WCW? I knew things were going to get bad around this
time but no one told me I was going to have to sit through this match
twice in four days. Miller needs to turn face soon and Horace needs
to turn to another career.
We
recap Piper vs. Flair. Piper is old, Flair is crazy (actually just
more evil than anything else) and they’re fighting for control of the
company.
Roddy Piper vs. Ric
Flair
Flair
has Asya and Arn with him. They trade chops to start and Piper takes
over with some lefts to the face. We get a delayed Flair Flop and
Ric begs off in the corner. The slowest backslide this side of the
last Piper match gets two and Flair gets punched to the floor. Back
in and Piper bites Flair’s nose, followed by even more of his weird
punches. Ric finally gets in a low blow to get a breather and things
slow down even more. Anderson gets in a shot on the floor and Asya
adds a rake of the eyes.
There’s
another low blow from Flair but a sunset flip sends his trunks down
as usual. Ric gets slammed off the top and Piper nails Anderson for
bad measure. I can’t say there’s anything good, even a measure, in
this match. Back in and Roddy puts on a sleeper but Flair quickly
breaks it. Anderson trips up Roddy so Flair can nail Piper with a
foreign object. Piper is up at two but there’s the Figure Four.
Bagwell comes out to break up Anderson’s interference and goes in,
drawing the DQ.
Rating:
F.
Gah. Seriously just gah. This was another mess with Flair having to
work down to Piper’s level and Piper just being awful. I have no
idea why WCW insists on keeping Piper out there when the fans don’t
care and the stories go on and on. Piper and Flair had a great feud
seventeen years ago. We really don’t need to see it again here and
this match is good proof of why.
Post
match Piper nails Bagwell, making this whole feud TOTALLY POINTLESS.
Bagwell gets whipped with a belt for good measure. So yeah, Piper is
in league with Flair and Anderson, presumably for daring to challenge
the status quo.
DJ
Ran. Again.
We recap Sting vs. Rick
Steiner who are fighting…..actually I have no idea why they’re
fighting. My best guess is Goldberg is out making a movie though.
Sting vs. Rick
Steiner
This
is hardcore and non-title for no apparent reason. Sting scores with
an early clothesline and they head outside to start brawling. That’s
a bit too boring though so they head inside where Rick nails some
forearms to the back. A pair of atomic drops don’t have much effect
on Steiner and they head outside again. Tony says there must be a
winner.
Steiner
hits Sting with a chair and then a beer. Sting comes back but the
Stinger Splash hits the barricade. A piledriver on the exposed
concrete gets two and somehow doesn’t break Sting’s neck. Back in
and Rick gets two more off a release German suplex, followed by the
chinlock. Rick cannonballs down onto Sting’s back and gets two off
an elbow drop. Sting finally gets his knees up to crotch Rick and
some Vader Bombs actually keep him down.
The top rope splash
connects for two and Sting is all fired up. He nails the Stinger
Splash and puts on the Deathlock but Rick crawls under the ropes.
They fight to the internet location and into the back where Tank
Abbot is waiting…..with two dobermans and a rottweiler who attack
Sting. They take Sting down as security runs in like a bad shot from
an action movie. Rick is declared the winner as the fans just rip
this apart.
Rating:
F-.
Three dogs. Three dogs. THREE DOGS. Next. Please.
The
Steiners say Rick pinned Sting off camera because WCW was too scared
to air it. They own WCW, Baltimore sucks, etc.
We recap the Triad
against Saturn/Benoit. The easiest version: Kanyon was in league
with the Jersey boys the whole time but Benoit and Saturn beat Kanyon
and Page for the titles on Thunder.
Tag Team Titles:
Chris Benoit/Saturn vs. Kanyon/Diamond Dallas Page
The
announcers are joking about pyro after Sting WAS NEARLY MAULED BY
DOGS. That’s a long running problem with commentators: they have the
attention span of drunken gnats. Someone must get in their ear as
they start talking about how terrifying a moment it was but assure us
that Sting was dragged away from the dogs. Benoit runs Kanyon over
to start and Page isn’t pleased. The champs clear the ring with
clotheslines and Benoit stands…..well not very tall actually.
It’s
off to Page vs. Saturn with DDP taking a few slams. Everything
breaks down again and the champions easily dispatch the Jersey boys.
That’s not enough for them though as they go outside to beat up
Bigelow before snapping off overhead belly to bellies on Page and
Kanyon. Bigelow trips Benoit to the floor and sends him into the
barricade to get the first advantage. Kanyon gets two off a middle
rope Fameasser and Benoit is in trouble. Back to Page whose
powerbomb is countered into a sunset flip but Benoit gets kicked
right back down.
The
helicopter bomb gets two on Benoit and it’s back to Kanyon, but he
misses a moonsault. The hot tag brings in Saturn for a frog splash
on Page. Saturn hammers on Page in the corner but Kanyon takes him
down with an electric chair faceplant for two. Things settle back
down with the challengers hitting a nice sequence into a Russian
legsweep from Kanyon and an elbow drop from Page. Saturn grabs a
sunset flip but Kanyon tags out on the way down and holds Saturn’s
head so Page can come in off the top for the save.
Back
to Kanyon for a front facelock into a swinging neckbreaker. A sitout
Dominator from Kanyon gives Page two but he misses a charge into the
corner. It’s finally enough for the second hot tag to bring in
Benoit for some much needed house cleaning. Kanyon takes the Rolling
Germans for two but Page makes the save.
We get the old school
dragon suplex for a VERY close two and Benoit hits the Swan Dive,
only to have Saturn dive into the Diamond Cutter. Cue Dean Malenko
to try and help Saturn back in but the distraction lets Bigelow come
in to lift Benoit up for a super Diamond Cutter. Kanyon’s
unconscious body is put on top for the pin and the titles.
Rating:
B-.
I’m so glad they gave us that three day reign before the Triad got
the belts back. As usual the (mostly) old guys get the win and the
titles while the (mostly) young generation is laid out. In theory
this sets up a six man at least which should be good, but knowing WCW
it leads to Benoit, Saturn and Malenko jobbing for months.
Dean gets laid out too.
We
recap Savage vs. Nash. Savage wanted a title shot so he put lipstick
on Nash’s face, called him a stupid person and tried to have him
crushed with a Hummer. Don’t you see the logical progression of
events?
WCW World Title:
Kevin Nash vs. Randy Savage
Nash
is defending and powers Savage into the corner to start, showing
absolutely no injuries from being crushed by a Hummer six days
earlier. Wait scratch that as he winces a bit after a clothesline in
the corner. The impact is kind of lost though when he picks Savage
up for a side slam three seconds later.
Randy starts going
after the ribs and knocks Nash to the floor so the girls can get in
shots of their own. Back in and Savage drops the big elbow for two.
Nash comes back with Snake Eyes followed by a big boot and the strap
comes down. The girls all interfere and get dispatched but SID
VICIOUS runs in and attacks Nash for the DQ.
Rating:
F.
The main event of a pay per view didn’t even make it seven and a half
minutes. Actually that’s a bit better than the alternative of
watching these two fight any longer as it’s clear that Savage has
nothing left in the ring. Sid interfering was a big surprise as he
hadn’t been seen in a major wrestling company (unless you count ECW)
since 1997. Nash not selling the ribs for the opening part of the
match brought it down but you can’t expect Nash to sell and toss his
hair at the same time.
Overall
Rating:
F.
If I’ve ever seen a less interesting or worse show, I can’t recall it
off the top of my head. There was one good match, three matches that
should have been on Nitro or Thunder (one of which was) and Sting
being attacked by dogs. Say that out loud and see if you think it’s
stupid. Couple that with the horrible main event and there isn’t
much to feel good about.
The
problem here is much more than the wrestling being bad. This show
died because there’s nothing interesting going on. Nothing on here
makes me want to tune in to see what’s coming. It’s all the old guys
dominating and the young guys getting beaten down. In theory that
should set up a good story, but I have no faith in WCW to pull that
off. Hogan’s return looms over everything too and that might make
things even worse. I’m not sure how, but it could. This was one of
the worst shows I’ve ever seen and I didn’t see much hope.
Remember to check out my website at kbwrestlingreviews.com and head over to my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:
http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Beau James Birthday Bash!

Courtesy of Joe Briggs superfan Josh Rose (a.k.a. Joe Briggs), here is the main event of last night’s Southern States Wrestling Beau James Birthday Bash!

Not only did Joe Briggs and Jake Booth somehow survive the six-man war just a few days earlier, but on this night they would do battle over the most prestigious trophy in wrestling.  And to my utter amazement, Briggs carried Booth to a two-star match with a shocking conclusion!

It’s also good seeing Daniel Bryan up and about, bringing his own chair to watch the match ringside.

July Classics: WarGames – Bash ’89

A tournament was held to fill the vacated World Tag Team Championship, with the final round coming down to The Midnight Express and The Fabulous Freebirds. During the tournament, The Road Warriors and The Samoan SWAT Team were interfering in each other’s matches. “Dr. Death” Steve Williams was brought into the mix by Jim Cornette to give The Midnight Express an ally against the three-man Freebirds team. So with all this fussin’ and a-feudin’ goin’ on, what is a logical blowoff? WARGAMES!

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xtts75_wargames-7-23-89_sport


WarGames 7/23/89 by f100003570148919

July Classics – Ricky Steamboat vs. Lex Luger – Bash ’89

On the 6/10/89 edition of World Championship Wrestling, Lex Luger complained of being held back, and thought he was worthy of a shot at the World Heavyweight Championship over the likes of Ricky Steamboat or Terry Funk. At Clash VII, Luger made the save for Steamboat when Funk attacked the Steamer with a microphone, but then promptly turned on The Dragon, once again becoming a heel. On World Championship Wrestling, Luger cut a promo saying that he turned on Steamboat because he was tired of making the fans happy, and wanted to prove that he was better. So this match for the United States Championship was signed for Bash ’89.

NOTE: The Network does not have a milestone marker for anything from Bash ’89, and I already posted the link to that show a few days ago, so here’s the Dailymotion version.

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xz8iw7_31-89-07-23-lex-luger-vs-ricky-steamboat-great-american-bash_sport

July Classics: Sting vs. The Great Muta – Bash ’89

At this point, Sting was the future of WCW, and coming into this match he was the World Television Champion. The Great Muta was managed by Gary Hart, and they had challenged Sting to something called a “Dragon Shi” match. When Sting accepted the challenge, Hart claimed that Muta wasn’t ready. Sting’s friend, Eddie Gilbert, stepped in and accepted the challenge. At Clash VII, Muta was set to demonstrate “Dragon Shi”, when Gilbert appeared and in response to Muta’s mist, threw a fireball that was meant for Gary Hart into a jobber’s face. Finally, Sting vs. Muta was signed for Bash ’89 for the TV title, and this was the result. NOTE: no Network link for this match because there’s no milestone marker. But if you want to watch Bash ’89, I highly recommend you do so here’s the link for the entire show:http://network.wwe.com/video/v31589169

Here’s a copy of the match itself:
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x17n813_sting-vs-great-muta-tv-championship-match-nwa-wcw-great-american-bash-1989_sport

July Classics: The Fantastics vs. The Midnight Express – Bash ’88

At Clash I, The Fantastics had thought they won the United States Tag Team Championship, but the decision was reversed. They got a rematch on the 5/14/88 edition of World Wide and won the titles, and this is The Express’ title rematch. Jim Cornette is strapped into a straitjacket and locked in a cage that is above the ring in order to prevent interference.

http://network.wwe.com/video/v31355167/milestone/31370367