Same intro but Manson’s gone (yay!) and been replaced by Don’t Question My Heart by Saliva. It’s an early version of the song though and sounds like The Deftones are belting it out. The proper version stuck around for years and was very hummable. Even Mike Adamle used the ”don’t question my heart” line in a promo and you know Adamle’s high standard.
We’re live in Mohegan Sun Casino with Coachman continuing his search for WHO IS VINCE’S KID. Oh and he casually introduces the new ECW GM, Armando Estrada. Armando says his name a few times and introduces John Morrison and CM Punk for the contract signing for Summerslam. ”Sitting on the chair next to me with your little tattoos is the closest you’re going to get to earthly paradise.” Morrison asks Punk to think about signing, after all he couldn’t last fifteen minutes with him last week. Punk says he’s right because he beat him before the fifteen minutes. What a stupid set-up bit to remind the audience about last week. Punk says he doesn’t fluff his wear like Farrah Fawcett or wear jackets in August, but he will be wearing the ECW Title after Summerslam. Armando stops them from coming to blows and gives them matches tonight with the ECW monsters. There was a lot happening here with Coach and Armando but the important thing is this:
We have enough plot for a dramatic video recap of last week! Punk won a Three Way Dance last week to get a shot at John Morrison tonight in a Fifteen Minutes Of Fame match. If he wins, he gets a shot at the title at Summerslam. Simples.
We’re in Youngstown, Ohio and THIS IS THE NEW SHIT is back in the intro, so we can have more Manson discussion. Despite enjoying his music, I’ve always been annoyed at him daring to put out Smells Like Children as a full-priced album (that I paid full-price money for) when it was three covers, three remixes and some shit. I don’t care if you recorded Portrait Of An American Family, I’m glad Dita Von Teese left you.
State of WWE right now:
We’re in Laredo, Texas and we still have the Manson intro that inspired so much discussion last week in the comments. Marcus Cor Von is still in the intro and Mechanical Animals was Manson at his best just for ”Yesterday I was a nihilist, today I’m just fucking bored.”
Backstage, a representative for Johnny Nitro declares this is the last time you’ll see Nitro on ECW. Tazz & Styles freak out because he’s the ECW Champ, he can’t leave. Unless you’re Lashley.
Another new intro, this time set to Marilyn Manson’s This Is The New Shit. Weird choice of song, not only was it four years old by this point and heavily censored (ARE YOU MOTHERblubblubs READY FOR THE NEW blubHIT?) but the themes of the song & album were about how everything had been done before and nothing was new (including Manson, who turned to shite after this) which is sending mixed messages for the brand with old ECW guys and the dudes Smackdown didn’t want. Manson’s a good metaphor for ECW, great in 1997 but damaged goods after 2001.
We’re in Charlotte, NC and Vince McMahon is still dead. He’d get better.
One Night Stand 2007 was last Sunday so in relevant news:
Rob Van Dam surprisingly beat Randy Orton in a stretcher match which would end up being RVD’s last match for WWE for several years. RVD sold a concussion as if he was drunk for most of the match so he could keep up with Orton’s pace. After dangerously flubbing a dive outside, RVD punched Orton a few times and rolled him across the finishing line.
We’re in (not named), One Night Stand: A Night of Extreme Rules is this Sunday and here’s Raw’s Randy Orton! Dramatic MV covers Orton concussing HBK with The Punt at Judgement Day. RVD claimed Orton lacked respect so Orton punted him too. I always like when feuds segue-way into other feuds. RVD decided to plant himself head-first on the RKO too because he’s Rob Points At Self Van Points At Self Dam Spin-Kick Pose To Crowd.
We’re in Des Moines, Iowa and we’re two weeks away from One Night Stand. Judgement Day was last Sunday and you’re already plugging the next one? I’m glad they eventually narrowed it down to only Extreme Rules after Wrestlemania. Speaking of which, in relevant matches from Judgement Day:
Another ECW on Sci-Fi, another dramatic recap of Lashley getting beat up by The McMahons and Umaga on Raw. This one turns into a Cannon Films production as Shane escapes by jumping on top of a limo as it drives away, only for Lashley to turn around and get struck down by Vince McNinja.
We start with Armando threatening Lashley and tells him if he lays a finger on him, he’s arrested. Lashley shoves his wheelchair into a wall and tells the police ”well, looks like you guys have to arrest me.”
At Backlash, Vince McMahon won the ECW Title in a handicap match from Bobby Lashley. I remember this annoying a lot of people, even in the yeah-I’m-a-smark-and-read-the-pre-taped-results-and-watch-the-show-anyway crowd were up in arms about the DISRESPECT TO ECW’S LEGACY so well done Vince.
Welp, I was wrong. Backlash is THIS Sunday so instead of Lashley/Vince we start with a recap of CM Punk ”accidentally” throwing a chair into the ring to help Rob Van Dam knacker Elijah Burke. Punk apologises to The New Breed individually before leaving Burke hanging. Punk comes back smiling, saying he’s just teasing. Burke scowls because he’s seen Transformers and hates Starscream.
We’re in London, England and the main event is announced straight away as ECW Originals vs. The New Breed in an elimination tag match.
ECW hails from Milan, Italy in front of a very loud crowd compared to previous weeks. Show starts with The New Breed in the ring and Elijah Burke (the only one who can talk) on the mic. Crowd boos and whistles the hell out of him so this is going to be a good show. Burke introduces the newest member of their group, CM Punk. Tazz thinks it was the best thing for ”this blue chipper”, Styles is pissed at a good guy like Punk joining a group that frequently cheat to win. Crowd is as conflicted as the commentators, with boos and CM Punk chants. Burke asks Punk why he joined: