The PG Era Rant for Raw, 10.6.14

The PG Era Rant for Raw, October 6,
I didn’t get back in time to watch the
Pre-Show, so we’re flying blind. However, the live look-in says
we’ll hear from Roman Reigns, and that Seth Rollins wants to start
Live from Brooklyn, NY.
Your hosts are Cole, Lawler, and JBL.
A look back at Ambrose pirating (not
stealing) the Money in the Bank briefcase and everything else.

And as promised, here’s Rollins, and
he’s MAD. “You think that’s funny, huh?” “YES!” But
Rollins show he got even at the end of the night. Seth says he’s
patient, but embarrassing him crossed the line. But before he can go
on too much of a rant, Noble and Mercury get his attention and tell
him something. They want him out of the ring. Rollins isn’t worried
– he knows he’s a marked man and loves it. Everyone wants to take
out Rollins – especially Ambrose and…
…John Cena, who skips the music and
just runs Rollins off. But Rollins takes time to taunt, and Ambrose
walks up right behind him. The two trap Rollins, and Cena yanks
Rollins only for Ambrose to dive on both men. The Stooges allow
Rollins to run away before anything serious happens to him. Crowd is
undisputably on Ambrose’s side.
And now, the Authority come out.
Enough with the chaos, Stephanie says. Egos are overriding brains,
and after SmackDown, it’s clear the two of them aren’t working
together. But they both want Rollins. And hey, the Authority’s all
about opportunity, and Rollins wants it, and the crowd CLEARLY wants
it (as the Authority inexplicably plays to the crowd)…
…it’s happening tonight! But Rollins
will have Kane and Orton as tag partners. “Careful what you wish
for, boys.”
We get a look back at Flag-gate. Big
Show is de-activated tonight.
Important note: Michael Cole noted
that Cena overreacted and ruined the tag match on SmackDown.
Goldust & Stardust &
Cesaro v. Dolph Ziggler & Jimmy Uso & Jey Uso.

An inset promo shows the Usos imitating the Dusts. “Bros before
weirdos.” Goldust rushes in and starts the melee, which ends with
Stardust alone in the ring. One of the Usos gets tossed into the
stairs and appears to have dislocated his shoulder (Jey). Jey is,
for some reason legal, but Stardust misses a charge. He recovers
with a kneelift and slam as the crowd demands Ziggler. Choking in
the ropes, and Goldust is in. He wins a slugfest, but Jey with a
crossbody only for Cesaro to tag himself in. Uppercut to Jey, and he
boxes in the corner. Jey escapes to bring Jimmy in, and it’s a
leaping clothesline and some chops. Cesaro reverses and chops
harder. Hammer Throw gets Cesaro seated, and the Rikishi Hip Check
follows. Cesaro recovers quickly to corner Jimmy, and all six men go
at it. Cesaro sends Dolph into the steps and the heels stand tall as
we go to break.
far, this match is kind of disjointed. But the hot tag to Ziggler’s
going to blow the roof off the place. Plenty of time to recover,
Gold/Star/Cesaro v.
Dolph/Jimmy/Jey, part two
Stardust works over Jimmy with an abdominal stretch. Jimmy
hiptosses out, but Stardust gets a high kick from his back and brings
in Cesaro. Cesaro does Dolph’s heart attack elbow for two. Cesaro
with a hesitation dropkick for two. Cobra clutch by Cesaro as the
crowd wants Dolph to get in. Cesaro gets cradled out of nowhere for
two. Goldust in, and he gets a front elbow for two. He stands on
Jimmy’s head before stomping it, but that wakes Jimmy up and he gets
a Dragon Whip. Hot tag Dolph, and Cesaro eats Stinger Splash and
Rude Awakening. Tilt-a-whirl sleeper by Dolph gets Cesaro in trouble
(with overselling by Cole), but Cesaro sends Dolph into the corner.
Uppercut misses, Rocker Dropper gets two. The Usos dive onto the
Dusts, but Cesaro uppercuts Dolph for two. Cesaro disposes of Jey,
and Dolph with a cradle for two. Stardust tags himself in and gets
Cross Rhodes for two. Another Uso hits the stairs off-camera. Dolph
cuts off Stardust, and the Usos help Dolph eat a triple superkick.
Superuso Splash ends it at 12:14. Hot finishing sequence. **1/2
was on the Today Show earlier today; they will return the favor
have a feeling this segment will set the universe’s opinion of
wrestling fans back 15 years.
here come Kathie Lee Gifford and Hoda Kotb, your special guests
tonight – as part of the Exotic Express. And wearing Ric Flair
robes. As Rose is dressed like Hugh Hefner. And OF COURSE there’s
wine in the ring. As soon as Rose leaves and the girls get the mic,
the boos begin. Kathie turns it around with a cheap pop or two.
It’s a toast to Raw as they’ve begun drinking already. Crowd resumes
booing. Hoda and Kathie say they need to behave on the Today Show…
but not tonight, as Hoda goes full Brie Mode. Kathie breaking the
bottle of wine over Hoda’s rear end – and Hoda returning the favor
– um, happened. Thankfully, Rose still gets some cheers for his
routine. The ladies do Rose’s stage dive and we’re out.
Harper is on his own. Be scared.
small favors. They only booed it.
Bo Dallas v. Mark Henry.
Pre-match video shows Henry is in a bad mood. Henry goes
a-clubbering to Dallas and chokes him on the middle rope. Straight
right hand and Henry crushes him in the corner. More clubs to the
back. Dallas wisely bails on an Irish Whip, but Henry follows and
sends him into the table, then the post. Henry whips Dallas upside
down into the barricade and clears the table. He goes for the
World’s Strongest Slam, but Dallas escapes and races back into the
ring to beat the count at 1:54. Who’s supposed to get over from this
know I am Real American and have been since I started this review,
but seriously, whom did Jack Swagger get on the wrong side of?
XV this Friday!
to the top.
Dean Ambrose is back out. The crowd looks livelier than it sounds.
Ambrose is upset that John Cena is getting in his way. They’re
teaming tonight, like they SHOULD have teamed on Friday, but Cena
abandoned Ambrose to chase Rollins. Ambrose has just about had it
with Cena, and he wants Cena out so they can hash it out. “Please,
John, indulge me with your presence!”
sings “JOHN CENA SUCKS” in tune with Cena’s music as Cena calmly
walks to the ring. Cena brings up Ambrose’s dive onto everyone from
earlier, but he says everyone understands everyone’s actions, so
there’s nothing to talk about. Ambrose says, yeah, I care more about
Rollins than you – we don’t care about each other – but neither
one cares about anyone’s opinion. So can they coexist? Not that
Ambrose cares – he’ll drop Cena and fight the Authority alone.
Cena reminds Ambrose about how poorly that went last time.
then changes tone – he says Ambrose has guts. He says and does
whatever he wants, but there are consequences. Cena has no problem
dropping Ambrose either. Both men want to avoid not liking the
other. Ambrose changes the subject: he’s hungry. He feels like
going to Coney and skipping out on the match. So he drops the mic
and walks out.
bit of a big deal here: the announcers are sympathizing with Dean
Ambrose walking out. They do think John Cena has this coming.
see Dean Ambrose leaving Raw on the Q Train.
mocks John Cena backstage. “Kids nowadays, huh?” HHH tries to
blame Ambrose to Cena, acting like Ambrose is an ingrate. It’s now
3-on-1, apparently. Cena, though, knows he’s trying to cut off the
match in order to protect Rollins and wants the match. HHH offers to
have Rollins start the match so that Cena can get a little of
Brie Bella v. Summer Rae.
Brie has one arm tied behind her back. Summer tackles Brie and
mocks her, then adds a boot choke. Summer slams Brie’s head into the
corner and snapmares her for two. To the chinlock. Summer kicks
Brie down and chokes her on the bottom rope. Crowd is so enthused
they chant for Derek Jeter. Brie leverages Summer into Layla and
gets a running knee to the head for the pin at 1:55. Brie leads the
YES chant.
someone’s giving Kane a fruit basket. Oh, it’s Miz. With Sandow
imitating him. This is an apology for last week. Kane says they
don’t want apologies because they know Miz is a phony. Kane brings
up Miz’s actions on SmackDown, then books him against Sheamus.
Sandow rescinds the gift basket.
a shame the fans don’t care about the Bellas, because the story isn’t
actually bad. Of course, it needs Stephanie, which it won’t get.
Jack Swagger v. Tyson Kidd.
Kidd gets no entrance, but Swagger gets no American flag. This is
your Total Divas cross-promotion. Swagger charges the corner to
start, then vaults a charge only to get run down. WE THE PEOPLE!
Kidd bails on a whip before hiding behind Natalya and getting a kick
to the head. Stomp on the apron and in the corner, then he catapults
Swagger into the bottom buckle. Rude Awakening gets one. To the
chinlock. Kidd with a back kick, but Swagger gets the comeback with
a huge hiptoss. WE THE PEOPLE! Vaderbomb connects, but Kidd
reverses the high angle spinebuster into a Sharpshooter, which
Swagger reverses to a Patriot Lock try. Kidd kicks Swagger from the
apron and goes up, but Swagger throws him off and gets the Patriot
Lock for the submission at 3:11. Kidd pulls his shoe off and glares
at Natalya. 3/4*
and Christian are the WWE main offices to play up the post-show
history of SmackDown show.
irony here is that Tyson Kidd may be more popular as a deadbeat jerk
husband than he’d ever be as a Hart Dungeon member or legacy of Bret.
Reigns follows in the family tradition and is live via satellite.
(Sorry, too easy.) He says rehab is going well, and he’s counting
down the days until he’s able to get back, and it’ll be “sooner
rather than later”. Not really an interview so much as a
videotaped statement.
to Night of Champions to show why Cena dislikes Rollins.
Dean Ambrose shows up later tonight – like he wouldn’t – or this
main event is going to be trashed. Bonus points if they’re faking
hating each other, but we know they aren’t.
Warrior’s final words are used to sell the WWE Network. More on this
El Torito v. Mini Gator.
Another Hornswoggle match? Slater and Gator are arguing during
intros. And during a pep talk for Swoggle. Gator crawls to Torito,
who jumps away. Torito goes for the headgear, then grabs a cape from
one of the Matadores and covers Swoggle’s head with it. Crowd: “THIS
IS STUPID.” Slater walks in and checks on Swoggle, who Gator Rolls
Slater for no reason. He realizes his error, so O’Neil’s on the
apron and gets gored. Crowd wants Derek Jeter. Torito avoids a
charge and does a moonsault to end it at 2:18, which is 2:18 longer
than it should’ve gotten. -**
Cole can’t even call it awesome with a straight face. But at least
Vince found it hilarious, and that’s what’s important, right?
recap of Flag-Gate.
because I want to talk about ANYTHING ELSE ON EARTH but the minis,
let’s look at the WWE Network ad. I love it, personally – the
words of Warrior about how the fans make people legends, with shots
of said legends, was well done. I can understand if others don’t
share my enthusiasm or feel that, given Warrior’s untimely death, the
words should be off-limits. But it’s not like Warrior was on his
deathbed when he said it, so I approve.
Main Event main event is Bo Dallas getting a shot at the
Intercontinental Title match against Dolph Ziggler. Not bad.
are Rusev and Lana. It’s apparently Vladimir Putin’s birthday. Lana
accidentally admits Rusev is from Bulgaria. The Rusev/Show match
there was supposed to be is off because of you know this. Lana: “He
should be in prison!” She even calls it a hate crime. Crowd isn’t
moved by Lana and chants USA. Rusev tells the “bigots” something
in Bulgarian about Big Show, then says Big Show is afraid of him. He
even calls Big Show out. Of course, Big Show can’t come out, so
Rusev calls him a coward.
WAIT! Will Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson suffice? Crowd considers
this a HSM. And that it’s Awesome. And Rock hasn’t said anything
yet! Rock says Rusev needs to 1) know his role and 2) shut his
mouth. He mocks Rusev’s tight shorts as he goes over his day. He
says Lana’s favorite place is the Meat Packing District, claims to
have swum from Manhattan to Staten Island on his way to visiting all
five boroughs. And he plays off the Derek Jeter chants from earlier.
This is all a set-up for FINALLY.
“Who do you think you are?” How dare he interrupt the great
Rusev! Shu Tup, she says. Rock: “And YOU need to stop dressing
like a Soviet street walker.” Rusev takes offense now and calls
Rock an “American piece of garbage”, telling him to leave now or
get Crushed. Rock mocks Rusev’s bad breath for no reason before
saying Lana is beautiful. Smokin’, even. But she clearly has a
Smirnoff bottle up her Putin. Back to Chewbacca (Rusev), and it
doesn’t matter what he thinks. Sure, Rusev’s undefeated because he’s
big, strong, and dangerous. But here’s the deal: it’s not about
Rusev supporting Russia. It’s because you’re a-holes.
calls off the diatribe and sicks Rusev, the wolf, on Rock. The medal
is slowly removed and the staredown begins. So as Lana quotes Putin,
Rock quotes Jay-Z to do his 50-word nickname. And the fight’s on as
Rock beats down Rusev, sending him flying from the ring. IF YA SMELL
and he’s out.
of Ambrose walking out.
in my friends’ list on Skype are arguing over what the point was of
Rock. On one hand, he shows up, insults the big heel, beats him
down, doesn’t get touched, and makes him look like a chump. On the
other, he put him in a must-see segment, made a big deal out of him,
and put him over as a threat verbally in passing. Me? Well, the
crowd loved it, and that’s kind of the point. I doubt Rusev is going
to get de-pushed from this, so I’ll let it slide.
Paige and Alicia Fox v. AJ Lee
and Emma.

The idea is that AJ’s out of friends, so she just picked someone.
AJ and Alicia will start. AJ with a spinkick and she throws Alicia
into Paige. Paige goes into the table, then runs off. Emma wants
in, so AJ obliges as Emma faces Alicia. Alicia runs her over with a
knee and tosses her, but Emma’s on the apron and gets a Pele kick.
Cradle gets two. Corner charge goes nowhere, and Alicia runs Emma
into the corner. Alicia’s blind charge also misses, and Emma with
the Tarantula. Corner splash hits this time on Alicia, and AJ gets
sick of Emma’s dancing and walks off. This leaves Emma with Paige,
and a superkick follows. Package DDT ends it at 2:48. AJ refuses to
have anything to do with Paige or Alicia and walks away. I don’t get
it. 3/4*
Rowan is a man-child, insulted by humanity. But Bray Wyatt fixed
him, and now he’s set free for revenge.
serious question: what was I supposed to get out of that tag match?
AJ’s the babyface, right? So why is she abandoning her partner and
not caring about anyone on earth? And Paige is supposed to be the
heel, but she sticks up for Alicia. And the heel team didn’t cheat,
either. I’m totally confused. At least the crowd didn’t chant CM
Punk as loudly as usual this time.
birthday, Bruno Sammartino!
The Miz v. Sheamus.
Sheamus rushes Miz into the corner, but Miz escapes. Miz avoids an
elbow to the face and slaps Sheamus, but Sheamus catches him. Miz
goes to the eye and kicks away in the corner, but Sheamus with a back
elbow. Miz returns the favor to gain control and uses the knees, but
he runs into a slam. Miz rolls to the apron, getting Sheamus hung up
as the crowd chants for Sandow. Miz off the top into a chop. Miz
uses the boot, but the SCF misses. Brogue Kick is escaped as Miz
bails and we go to break.
is just not motivated by these matches. It’s showing.
Miz/Sheamus, part two.
Miz with the chinlock as we return, but Sheamus steps on the foot to
break. Miz recovers with a backbreaker and through-the-ropes
clothesline. Forearm smashes follow. Crowd keeps chanting for
Sandow as Miz gets a boot choke for two. Of note: they’re chanting
for SANDOW, not MIZDOW. More rope choking, and Sandow adds a cheap
shot to a huge pop. Miz with the Austin Straddle for two. Abdominal
stretch, including shots to the ribs, follow. Crowd: “SANDOW’S
BETTER.” Sheamus backs Miz into the corner to break, but Miz with
a kick to the back that just annoys Sheamus. Comeback begins with
Irish Hammers and a kneelift. Running knee in the corner and an
Oklahoma Slam. Brogue Kick time, but Sandow pulls Miz out. Sheamus
throws Sandow into the barricade (crowd hates that), so Miz jumps
Sheamus from behind. Brogue Kick is meant for Miz but hits Sandow,
and Miz with a cradle for the pin at 10:09. Disjointed mess. *1/4
Sheamus chases everyone off with a chair.
this leads to a Sandow face turn, I’ll enjoy it, but it really seems
like Vince is tone-deaf. Miz is in DVD movies, so let’s push him!
But not too seriously, lest anyone think Hollywood is better than us!
Lawler acknowledges some breast cancer survivors at ringside before
introducing Joan Lunden. Who’s Joan Lunden? She speaks as a breast
cancer fighter. Ah, the search engine says she’s a former host of
Good Morning America. She introduces each of the survivors by name.
And John Cena hugs Lunden at the end, because it’s 10:52 and he wants
to get his match started.
the Gospels say, “When you give to charity, don’t make a big deal
out of it, or your reward will be on earth. When you give, just give
without announcing it, not even telling the left hand what the right
hand does. Then your reward will be eternal.”
Housewife Nene Leakes will be on the show next week. ARE THEY EVEN
Main event (FINALLY!): John Cena
v. The Authority.
to his credit, conducts the crowd in singing about how much he sucks.
Cena demands Rollins start, per HHH, so he does… then IMMEDIATELY
tags in Kane. Of course. Cena pounds down Kane and knocks Rollins
off the apron, but Kane recovers and stomps away. Uppercut follows,
and Orton enters with a clothesline. He stomps Cena, but Cena tries
to fight back only to run into a powerslam for two as Lawler gets mad
at Ambrose for walking out because Cena. Kane in, and he gets an
open kick to the gut and corner clothesline. Now Rollins finally
enters as Cena is in deep trouble and dances, punching away on Cena.
Running forearm in the corner floors Cena as the crowd has no
patience for this. Rollins slaps Cena around, but that allows Cena
to fire back. Charge by Cena eats elbow, and Rollins with the
Blockbuster for two. Rollins picks Cena up by the jaw and talks
trash, then kicks Cena to the ropes and chokes away. Orton adds a
cheap shot, but Cena shoves Rollins away and begins the comeback on
Rollins. Five-Knuckle Shuffle connects, and the AA is tried, but
Rollins throws Cena into Kane as the 3-on-1 begins at 4:39. *1/4
Kane with a chokeslam, and Orton mocks Cena and the crowd before
calling for the RKO…
Dean Ambrose is back, having brought the whole damn hot dog cart with
him. He munches a Coney Island dog and watches, but Orton and Kane
approach him. Crowd wants hot dogs. Ambrose attacks with the
CONDIMENTS OF DOOM before bowling both men over with the cart and
rushing Rollins, delivering a huge beating as the crowd wakes up.
Orton and Kane attack, Cena saves. Rollins is sent out over the top,
Orton eats AA, and Cena disposes of Kane so that Ambrose can dive
onto Rollins. Ambrose throws everything at Rollins for no reason,
then uses the hot dog tongs on a different wiener. Kane drags
Ambrose back in, but Cena cuts him off with the AA. Rollins crawls
away as Cena and Ambrose stand alone in the ring…
here’s HHH. Hey, the heroes are back on the same page, but only one
can fight Seth Rollins. They have to fight each other first at Hell
in a Cell, and the winner gets Seth Rollins inside the Cell. So
basically, one or the other is going to Hell, weakened for Rollins to
pick apart. Cena gets ready to leave, but Ambrose delivers a Double
Arm DDT to a HUGE reaction from the crowd.
understand there was a lot of sports on, but that does not excuse
people – LOOKING AT YOU, VINCE – from phoning in a Raw. That’s
what this was: phoned in. And in the worst way, too. It’s not even
the 4/10 water treading you usually see. This show made me question
whether anyone would care if I stopped early and posted that I gave
I soldiered on for you. But if you didn’t stick around until the
end, I don’t blame you.
TIME: 39:08 over eight matches
MATCH: The six-man tag
MATCH: The minis match
MVP: Dean Ambrose
SCORE: 2. One for Ambrose, one for the Rock. And that’s IT. I’m on
your side, WWE. I know you’re better than this. Don’t do this to
Perri will have something to say about this on Main Event. Tommy
Hall will review the rest of the shows this week. Logan Scisco takes
you to 1998. Dock Muraco continues to say major Japanese matches are
better than average Raw matches as though that’s a revelation.
Stranger in the Alps will run the daily discussion and hold the
Writers’ Title. Speaking of, Brian Bayless has the e-fed Raw up.
Read that instead. I know I will.
Vince, show some pride in your work, would you?


This show is still being written but I gave you a preview. I will write here when it is done but in the meantime, check out this wonderful podcast featuring Dr. Tom Prichard from the fine folks over at for this podcast:

In this episode of the Place to Be Podcast, Justin and Scott welcome in the legendary Dr. Tom Prichard for a visit to discuss his lengthy career in the wrestling business. Tom talks about his days in Portland, USWA and SMW as well as his feelings on his run in WWE with the Bodydonnas and Heavenly Bodies.
Tom also ranks the all time greatest managers and tag teams, shares thoughts on the Midnight Express, Chris Candido & Sunny’s relationship, his frustrations in the mid-90s, his departure from WWE and feelings on the state of the business and much, much more.

BoD Heavyweight Champion Jobber123 comes down to the ring accompanied by the rest of the Job Mob. Zanatude is holding all three belts of his own BoD Six-Man Titles. He warns others not to touch him as he comes down the aisle. Jobber grabs the mic:

“In less than three weeks, I will be defending the BoD Heavyweight Championship against The Fuj, a legend of the BoD. I mean, he is not in my class and all, but still pretty good. He couldnt carry a one man conversation about the 2009 NBA draft at 2am in any one of the 1,783 Nitro reviews on the blog. No he could not. He can come in and drop by quickly but he has to leave again for a few more weeks. Well, I am not letting that happen to all the Jobberholics across the BoD. Now, I have to leave as I have some gimmicks waiting for me in the Luxurious Top 5 Lounge if you know what I mean.” 

The Job Mob leave and head up the aisle but out from the crowd comes The Fuj!!!!!!!!!! He goes right after the champ. Big Dirty Murph tries to intervene but gets booted in the face. Zanatude opts to protect his belts and he retreats. Fuj hammers away and tries to put the champ in the Fuji Vice but Jobber escapes and heads up the ramp.

Backstage, Assistant GM and Director of Operations and Paper Goods Justice Gray approaches the GM.

Gray: I’m afraid we have some problems
Bayless: What happened?
Gray: Well, Landmonster, you know, the fat bitch Magoonie’s friend used to date?
Bayless: Yes, I like her because she caused serious injury to a lowly midcarder who used to scrub the tires to my car. 
Gray: It seems like no one else likes her though. She has eaten all of the catering you got for the Administration and intercepted another delivery for the Luxurious Top 5 Lounge. 
Bayless: Jesus Christ! All the top 5’ers aren’t like Abeyance you know. They complain when they do not get their own way. 
Gray: That is not the only problem you know. 
Bayless: There is more?
Gray: When you sent for Wade Michael Meltzer to report back to judge the Writer’s Tag Match, Gosh Hopkins did not make it back. 
Bayless: What happened?
Gray: A tape was mailed to BoD Headquarters. The envelope appears to be covered in blood. 
Bayless: You don’t think……….
Gray: I think we should watch it
Bayless: I will shortly…………..

Dancin’ Devin Harris & Lil’ James & WWF1987 & Bobby

HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!! WE GITTIN’ FUN-KAY TONIGHT. GIT DOWN WIT DA OPENING MATCH FUNK!!!!!!!!!!! This match was the result of a backstage attack by Bobby & WWF1987 that occured last week on BoD RAW. Bobby and WWF1987 attack the Brothers of Funk but they fight right back. Harris knocks both men over the ropes with a clothesline then Lil’ James takes them both out with a plancha. BoD RAW IS GITTIN’ FUNKAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! The action heads back in the ring as Harris uses the ol’ double noggin knocker as the funk reigns supreme tonight. The referee maintans order but as that happens, Bobby whacks Lil’ James with his cowbell and WWF1987 goes on the attack. Lil’ James is getting beaten down as the TNA enthusiast and man from Texas are using illegal double-team moves behind the referee’s back. Bobby climbs up top but misses an elbow drop as both men are down. Lil’ James crawls to the corner for the tag……………………but Curtzerker runs out and knocks Harris off of the apron as the ref rings the bell for the DQ. The HUSS section is loud and proud as their boy is slugging away. And now Adam Curry & Kyle Warne run in for the save and after a short brawl, Curtzerker and Bobby & WWF1987 retreat. The tag team division is heating up.

Backstage, The Fuj is in the back unrolling his tape off his wrists. He looks up into the camera with a glint of assuredness as he begins to speak.

These aren’t delusions of grandeur…
This isn’t… some misguided attempts at re-capturing past glory.
Because I am THE MAN! I am The Fuj.
Undeniably, Unequivocally, Unapologetically, UNDISPUTEDLY, the Alpha and Omega of the BoD!
It starts and ends with ME!
I have no time for Ham N Eggers.
I have no time for Johnny Come Latelys.
I only have time for the belt, which I am coming for.
So “champ” (laughs)… Accept Defeat, Because it awaits you.
(Fuj looks down as he continues to unwrap the tape from his wrists)

Cultstatus vs. C.O. Jones

Jones has participated in the “ask and get booked” initiative. Cultstatus finishes his smoke then clotheslines Jones out of his shoes. Cultstatus whips Jones against the ropes and catches him with a side slam. Cult hammers away then hits the jackknife powerbomb for the win. Cult then grabs the mic and calls him “Parallax” as he asks him to get up. Cult picks him up again and hits another jackknife before lighting up another smoke then leaving.

GM Bayless is backstage with Justice Gray. He pops in the VHS tape. He looks in horror at the screen as he sees Archie Stackhouse:

(We are outside the home the scared lady last week in Riverdale. Night has fallen and fireflies dance in the sky. The white picket fence lies in ruins, pieces of it stained with blood; the camera pans over the unconscious body of Gosh Hopkins.  Pan up to see Archie and the Riverdale Covenant standing with their arms crossed.)

“Do you know what the definition of insanity is, GM Bayless? Doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result.And yet….. (Archie waves his arms in the direction of the unconscious bodies.)Obviously, I’ve been delayed this week in my return to the BOD; hopefully, they’ve….learned.”(Archie waves at the front window; we see the open curtain quickly jerk shut.)
Poor Miss Chancery; she lost her husband so recently. I worry about her being alone at night, especially after dear Jake was lost.He should have been more careful when speaking about Uncle Caliber that way.Now then, where was I? Ah, yes.
GM Bayless, you don’t need to look for me anymore. I’ve grown tired of your sycophants and your charlatans. I’ve grown weary of trying to educate those who will never be worthy of citizenship in the glorious town of Riverdale, especially when so many would sacrifice everything to be a part of the world I am creating here.
Next week, I WILL return to BOD Raw, GM Bayless; I will swear in the newest citizen of Riverdale and make him a gift of his heart’s fondest desire, the pet rock. Anyone who wishes to join me can be a part of the swearing-in ceremony and pledge their allegiance to Riverdale and Archie Stackhouse; all others will be considered….enemies of the state.Until then, don’t sully the wonder that is Riverdale with this trash. Covenant? Clean up the front lawn, won’t you?
(As the Covenant picks up the unconscious bodies, a police car comes pulling up the curb. The chief gets out and speaks)
Hey now, fellas! Come on there, can’t be doing that type of thing, those boys could be really injured now. What happ–Archie!?”(Archie strolls over, twirling Jughead. The chief keeps his eyes on it at all time.)Constable Russell! It’s been so long. I remember you from my days with Uncle Caliber! Tell me, how are your wife and children? Mildred, Peter, and Christine, if I’m not mistaken?
(The chief swallows hard.)
“They’re…..good, Archie. Just….good.”
(Archie laughs.)
“That’s wonderful! Children are the future of Riverdale, after all. Now then, I’m sure you have some questions, but since we know each other so well, I’m confident you’ll let me handle this? After all, I’m sure you need to get home to make sure that the children are….(Archie narrows his eyes)….tucked in.”
(The chief nods slowly, turns, and RUNS back to his car. The patrol car speeds away with a screech. Archie turns towards the camera.)
“Next week, BOD. The newest citizen of Riverdale is revealed. In the meantime, sadly, it’s clear that me and Covenant have to take care of a few things, so we’ll see you then…………But since the BOD now has seen a glimpse of my paradise this week, it seems as though you should be formally introduced to our community, so….
(Archie grabs Hopkins! He RAKES Jughead over his forehead! Blood spurts everywhere, covering the camera! As the blood washes over the lens, we hear Archie.)
“Welcome to Hell. Welcome… Riverdale.”

GM Bayless looks in horror as to what he just saw. He then looks over and hears a commotion and jumps. He and Grey run out the door but it was just Landmonster, knocking over boxes and shelves looking for food. Bayless tells Gray to “protect” the reserves. 

We see Mar Solo running around like a lunatic in the crowd pouring coffee into people’s cups. He is mostly burning people but is very enthusiastic at least. 

Hart Killer 09 is in the ring again as he issues another open challenge. If someone can beat him, he will give them a title shot in the future. He is wearing a Calgary Hitmen jersey too with the word “sucks” on the bottom. He then asks who is going to challenge him and wait a minute, it’s fellow countryman PrimeTime Ten!

Hart Killer 09 vs. PrimeTime Ten

It’s the Battle of Canada!!!!!!! PrimeTime starts hammering away on the Solid B+ Player Champion. PrimeTime hits a suplex then an elbow drop before he sends Hart Killer to the corner. Hart ducks out as he takes a breather. Hart comes back in and lockups with PrimeTime. Hart does not break cleanly and goes on the attack. He chokes out PrimeTine in the corner with his foot then yells at him to go train in the Dungeon. Hart Killer applies a chinlock as the crowd starts to rally for PrimeTime. Hart hits a slam then goes for a Boston Crab but PrimeTime turns that into a rollup for two. Hart Killer uses a lot of stomps and knee smashes then heads up top. Hart Killer goes for a double axe handle but PrimeTime catches him with a shot to the gut. PrimeTime slugs away and fights back. PrimeTime gets two with a brainbuster. Uranage gets two. Leg drop gets two. PrimeTime sends Hart into the corner and hits a running Yakuza kick but that only gets two. He sets Hart up for a superplex but gets shoved off and Hart slides off and uses an Oklahoma roll, grabbing the tights and getting the win. Hart Killer cheats again to win, dammit! Who will put a stop to him?

Steve Ferrari & Magoonie are in the ring. They refuse to leave unless they get a shot at the Upper Midcard Express. Nick Piers, who had his leg broken by Landmonster two weeks ago, remains under the supervision of BoD Doctor to the midcard and below, Miss Diagnosis. She finished last in her class at Botch Hopkins University but you know what they call the person who finishes last in her class at medical school,right? They call them “doctor.” Anyway, since they are too poor to buy armbands, they have colored their wrist tape with a black Sharpie marker to show their support to their injured pal. Uh oh, The Upper Midcard Express come out in a golf cart as Petuka is gunning it in reverse. They are still wearing their football helmets too. The UME say that they are not cleared to wrestle tonight but next week, they will give them a match and if they win, they will get a shot at the titles at BoD Hell in a Cell. The Midcard Mafia agree as we have a main event matchup for next week.          

Dock Muraco & Andy PG vs. Tommy Hall & “Marvelous” Matt Perri w/ Miss Danielle

Wade Michael Meltzer was helicoptered in from Riverdale to judge this match and if it can reach the **** mark. Muraco and Hall start it out. Muraco goes to work on the arm, looking over towards Meltzer for approval. Meltzer is looking down and nodding but our camera shows that he is in fact watching AJ Styles vs. Tanahashi on his iPad. Muraco has a crossarmbreaker applied then tags Andy as Tommy runs out of the ring. Speaking of Tommy, he is looking ragged in a sloppy Rashaad Salaam throwback that has a spot of honey mustard in the bottom left corner. Perri tags and he and Andy trade arm wringers. Andy wins that battle and stays on the attack. Andy and Dock use quick tags and might be auditioning for the next New Japan tag team tournament. Meltzer is not paying attention to the match as Tommy knees Andy from behind on the apron. Tommy tags and chokes out Andy on the mat. Last word was that Tommy was struggling to get money together and has not been able to utilize his Panera rewards due to a lack of legitimate currency. Andy is getting beat on as Meltzer is finally paying attention to the match. He holds up a “***” sign as Dock furiously rallies behind his partner. Perri hits a slam then tags Tommy, who heads up top. Tommy tries a senton but Andy rolls away as both men are down. Andy gets up and hot tag to Dock! He runs wild with all sorts of chops and suplexes. Meltzer now has a “***1/2” sign in the air. Dock sees this and tries to go all out. He heads up top for a moonsault but botches the move as Meltzer holds up a “***1/4” sign. Andy is up and this has turned into a brawl. Andy hits Perri with a tornado DDT then hits Tommy with a snap suplex has Meltzer has this up to “***1/2.” Dock gets up and hits rolling Germans on Tommy as this is up to “***3/4.” Dock is going whatever the Puroresu equivalent of apeshit is right now as he heads up top and diving headbutt as this now is “****.” Miss Danielle is on the apron and slides Perri a chair after hitting Andy low then Perri whacks Dock and uses a DDT and the ref turns around and covers as that gets the win. Dock looks dazed then turns around in disbelief as Meltzer holds up his final rating………………………………………………..***3/4!!!!!!!! Once again, Miss Danielle has cost Dock a **** match.

In the gen-pop locker room, Mr. Satan hands out a petition to ban all Brazilians from the BoD. Matt Indeed has a box full of White Windbreakers in order to get a partner for his Strike Force team but he he has no takers. Harry Broadhurst  has laryngitis but wrote down that next week, we will get an additional 4 Harry Facts to make up for it. Biscuit! is in the back putting all the bags in the showers and leaving the water running. DBSM leaves with his C-List Title proudly on display as he is off to the “Chrisley Knows Best” viewing party at DJ EZ Rock’s house. Those are the perks of the C-List Title. Everyone is also hungry as Landmonster has cut off the food supply so she could have a snack tonight.

And now, it’s time for Welcome to the BoD!

Abeyance: Hello everyone
(Crowd): Hello
Abeyance: How are you tonight
(Crowd): Good
Abeyance: I am good too. 
Kid: You are Abeyance
Abeyance: I am that too
Kid: Are you too or Abeyance?
(Crowd): He’s both!
Abeyance: Anyway, our guest tonight is going to face the GM at BoD Hell in a Cell. Here is Jef Vinson
Vinson: What’s up guys
Abeyance: The ceiling
Kid: Yeah, not the basement
Vinson (In disbelief) Okay? Well, what do you guys want to ask me. 
Abeyance: How do you feel going against the GM in the cell?
Vinson: Good question. The GM has made it a point to screw me over at every turn and he still cannot pin my shoulders to the mat. I am not afraid of him. The GM is nothing. He has no power. He is insecure. He cares only about himself. And at BoD Hell in a Cell, after I defeat him of course, my valet will stomp out the rest of his manhood, just like last week. 

Jobber and the Job Mob are complaining to the GM. They are pissed about the Fuj attacking him. The Job Mob wants to face him and the GM has an idea: He said that next week, Zanatude will take on The Fuj and the 6-Man belts will not be on the line. Zanatude is happy about that as the GM says he will see them at the after party

In the luxury boxes, Biff Kensington is chilling by himself. He says that he is scouting talent and will reveal his first acquisition at BoD Hell in a Cell.

Parallax and GM Bayless are in the ring. Bayless takes the mic first:

Bayless: I understand that you are unhappy about not getting a title shot. And I feel your anger. You are a Top 5’er. A prestigious member. Maybe even the best. Not like the French Tickler, Jef Vinson, but a tried-and-true top guy. And that Jef Vinson, the same one who stole the Money on the Table Briefcase from me, cashed in at BoD SummerSlam. And despite my best efforts, I could not get the BoD Board of Directors to overturn the decision. If not for that, you were facing Cultstatus for the Title. Not Jef Vinson. You. And for that reason alone, your anger should be directed towards him. I did not screw Parallax out of a title shot. Jef Vinson did. Jef Vinson screwed Parallax

Parallax: The only thing that is happening is that I will get a shot at the title. And I dont care about the Board of Directors or whoever the fuck else that stands in my way. The belt is mine, Update boy, and I will curbstomp any loser that stands near my path. And I dont give a shit that you blame Jef Vinson for that because I blame you just as much for holding me down as you spend more time involving ice cream, coffee, grannies, and morons instead of focusing on me. And that druggie champ of yours is a joke. I am clean, straight-edge if you will, and like I have been saying, that is not what makes me better than you but rather everything else about me is what makes me better than you. 

Bayless: Okay. Okay. I feel ya. I ……….

Parallax: Yeah, you are not going to feel anyone but yourself. Ice down what the valet stomped last week then come back and book me against the winner of the title match or else I will destroy you and the rest of the losers that make up the Administration. (Steps closer to the GM) You better book me in that match, bookerman. (Crowd starts a mild “curbstomp” chant)

Bayless: Alright. It’s not that simple you know. And, you did lose the last #1 contender’s match you were in, right? So, I will give you a shot at redemption. I will give you a shot at the title but you will have to actually win the #1 contender’s match. So, after BoD Hell in a Cell, we are going on a break. And when we come back, I will be rejuvenated then I will come up with who you will face. So, sit tight and enjoy the amenities in the Top 5 lounge. But next week, I am putting you in a match. You can use that anger you have and turn it against the enemy. Next week, Parallax will face off against……………………………………………JEF VINSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Monday Night Open Mic

Howdy Blog O’Doomers!

A little early for the open mic tonight because of the baseball game. RAW is live (I think, it should be) and they might actually have something with this Cena-Rollins-Ambrose 3-way program here. Especially if they treat Ambrose like a threat, which they have thus far.

Anyway on TV tonight:

Monday Night Football (Seahawks vs. Washington)
Playoff baseball as Frisco tries to close out the Gnats RIGHT NOW and later it’s the Dodgers/Cardinals.

Gotham, Big Bang Theory…other stuff. Didn’t see a promo for an HBO Documentary tonight.

Come out swinging and keep it clean!

Why not Andre?

Why was Andre never given an actual run with the WWF title in the 70's or early 80's in the pre-Hogan era(not counting the 30-second reign on The Main Event)? He was super-over, the fans loved him and I'm sure he was a draw…was Backlund really a more worthy champion than Andre? Why was this never done? 

Andre never wanted it and he made far more money as his own touring attraction, rather than having to deal with the politics involved in being champion anywhere.  Plus, much like the Undertaker, you can do one tour with the champion on top and one tour with Andre on top.  

Two Questions

Scott, yet another Network philosophy question.

With the recent buzz about a change in PPV thinking as a result of the network — we don't need Brock because we're not trying to pop a buyrate, etc. — I'm baffled as to how WWE could be so misguided about what will ensnare new subscribers. Isn't it the case that everyone (or very nearly everyone) who will be motivated by old ECW PPVs and episodes of Nitro and the complete SNME is already subscribed? Therefore, aren't they chasing more casual fans at this point? And isn't the allure of a must-see match the ONLY thing that could possibly push the subscriber base forward?

I mean, if they announce, "Hey, we've added every Coliseum Video release," they're basically only impressing diehards who are already subscribing. But if they announce "We're locking Brock Lesnar and Dean Ambrose in a cage," some not-yet-subscribed Raw viewers might think "Yeah, I have to see that." Right? In short: doesn't the network model mean that creating must-see events is MORE important, not less?

Really unimportant secondary question: isn't there tape of Bunkhouse Stampedes and Bashes before '88? Any idea why the Network only goes back to '88 on those two but goes to '83 on Starrcade?

Secondary question first:  Because those shows are the only ones that are classifed as PPV broadcasts, where previous Bashes were just compilations of the tour.  Starrcades were always classifed as PPV or closed circuit and thus count.

Primary question:  The problem is that we don't have any information on who is buying and when.  WWE only releases numbers every quarter, so who knows what's affecting subscriptions and cancellations?  The market is such uncharted territory now that spending extra millions on Brock is a huge gamble, I'd guess.  Which isn't to say that the Brock-Cena DQ finish was not fucking retarded, especially with no followup, but I don't think doing, say, a third Brock-Cena match in a row would have suddenly popped subs.  

That time Hacksaw Jim Duggan sang the song from “Frozen” to my stepdaughter

Canadian Bulldog here (don't pretend like you don't know who I am!!!). You and I are the last surviving members of the Hart Dungeon; Tyson who?

I recently posted an article on my website about meeting one of my wrestling heroes that I feel may be of interest to your readers. It's one of hundreds of pieces on about wrestling books, DVD's, action figures, comic books, Top 50 lists, magazines and other merchandise and memories.

Thanks for your consideration, Scott. I'll never forget this – just like I won't forget that time you put Smith in your patented reverse armbar and made him tap like a woman.
I already forgot who wrote this e-mail, sorry.  

BoD Daily Update

Steve Austin Training for a Return to the Ring?

On his podcast with bodybuilder Ric Drason, Austin casually mentioned how he was “trying to get back into shape for a comeback.” RAW Preview Article Predicting What the WWE Will Be Like in Five Years

Trailer for the Lucha Underground Promotion

Muraco’s Monday Morning Matches of the Week (10/6/14)

Great episode of the show this week. Everybody should take two hours on a boring weeknight and check these matches out, front to back. The only thing of note last week was a couple of NJPW matches off of the “Destruction in Okayama” card, so I skipped out last Monday. The main event is still listed below, however. Tons of good ones this week though, from all kinds of different rosters.

DG: T-Hawk & Eita vs. Jimmy Susumu & Jimmy Kagetora
Can you say Tag Match of the Year? It’s right there, neck-n-neck with Bucks/Splitters from Dminion 621. If you aren’t familiar with T-Hawk & Eita, you’re missing out on the best this sport has to offer. They’re the tag champs, but this is non-title, for the Finals of the yearly Tag Tournament, so you have no idea one way or the other who’s winning. Seriously just pick a team, bet your buddy next to you $20, and lose your mind in the near falls. Great match. Had a friend call it Top 10 for the year.. I can’t argue that..

Wrestle-1: Kaz Hayashi vs. Shuji Kondo – [9/22/14]

I’d be shocked if you get anything better than this out of the W-1/TNA rosters on Sunday for Bound For Glory. That’d be awesome, but this one was pretty decent. If the Minoru Tanka match, or Hayashi’s quest for the X title get this good, that’ll be great. Until then, this one here might be the best this brand has to offer. Live from Kōrakuen Hall, the same building as TNA. So this is exactly what you’re going to be getting from BFG. Keep in mind, W-1 has a much more important show later in the month. This TNA ppv is like a Survivor Series Showdown on USA to them.

NJPW: Kazuchika Okada vs. Karl Anderson – [9/23/14]

The main event of the 2-day Destruction event from NJPW. These guys always have good matches together and this is no exception. I thought the guys in the truck did a pretty poor job on this show with the commentators too high, and the crowd too low, coupled with the ROH-ish lighting.. The production value leaves something to be desired. If you’re into the grimy indy look, you’ll be fine with it.

ZERO1: Dangan Yankees (Mastao Tanaka & Takashi Sugiura) vs. Ikuto Hidaka & Fujita Jr Hayato – [9/19/14]

Holy shit, this match. This is for both of the Yankees tag titles: the GHC Tag titles & the
NWA/ZERO1 Intercontinental Tag titles. They’ve had killer tag matches
all year long, the one against Kazuki & Sekimoto comes to mind
immediately. This is another banger. A really, really solid show from
ZERO1, loaded with fun title matches. This was the main event, and this
one took the cake. Full show AVAILABLE HERE, and those 2 hours just
breeze right by. Recommended.

AJPW: Jun Akiyama vs. Kento Miyahara

Sounds like AJPW has run out of money for the last time, and this may be the end of the road. That said, they’re not going out with a whimper like AWA with jobbers galore, but rather with a makeshift roster that puts on pretty decent shows. It’s clear that Kento Miyahara here is slated to be the next young star, in the mold of a Tanahashi, and he delivers once again. If they do fold, it’ll be interesting to see where he ends up.

DDT: Konosuke Takeshita & Tetsuya Endo vs. KUDO & Masa Takahashi

KUDO & Takahashi were like really great on offense here, in control. Takeshita being a normal sized wrestler looks so much bigger than everybody in this match. That said, he moved as well as you could ever ask for. He was great when he was in there. A nice climax, good match.

WWF Wrestling Challenge November 9th, 1986

November 9, 1986

From the Civic Center in Glens Falls, NY

Your hosts are Bobby Heenan and Gorilla Monsoon

In action this week are the Junkyard Dog & George Steele, Hercules Hernandez, Hillbilly Jim & Billy Jack Haynes and the Islanders

Joe Mirto & Al Navarro vs. Junkyard Dog & George “The Animal” Steele

Mirto tries to attack Steele from behind but that fails and he gets rammed into the turnbuckle. He tags JYD and he uses his crawling headbutts then nearly drops him as he hits the powerslam and they fuck up the finish even more as the ref stops counting so Steele can toss Navarro to the floor then he counts to three (1:26). After the match, Steele eats the turnbuckle then they dance with some kids in the ring.

Thoughts: Embarrassing in-ring action but regardless, these two got the crowd going. JYD was slowly being sent down the card as he was rapidly deteriorating.

A “Wrestler’s Rebuttal” with the Dream Team pissed that the Fabulous Moolah won a battle royal after hiding under the ring until the end. A waste of time.

We get a recap of the events that led to Roddy Piper facing Mr. Fuji on Superstars. They even replay the entire match.

Ken Resnick is with Hillbilly Jim. He asks him about his theme song and his appearance at the “Farm Aid” concert. Jim puts over the show and lets us know how we can make a donation. Jim also thanks Resnick for asking about granny and says that she is doing well and even promised Jim some “possum pudding.” A lot of Hillbilly Jim on this show.

Another replay from Superstars, this time of Bobby Heenan buying the contract of Hercules from Slick.

Scott McGhee vs. Hercules w/ Bobby Heenan

They have dropped the “Hernandez” part of Hercules’ name here. Johnny V replaces Heenan on commentary for this match. Hercules destroys McGhee in the corner to start. McGhee hits a dropkick but gets caught with a clothesline then Hercules makes him submit to the backbreaker (1:06).

Thoughts: They certainly gave Hercules a huge push once they aligned him with Heenan. Monsoon even called him a contender for Hogan’s title.

Resnick is with the Islanders. Haku talks about how he has learned sumo in Japan prior to coming to the WWF. Tama then takes over and is a lot more lively than Haku.

We get a replay of the Jesse Ventura interview with the Honkytonk Man were they announce the “Vote of Confidence.

Rick Renslow & Jimmy Jack Funk vs. Billy Jack Haynes & Hillbilly Jim

Johnny V remains on commentary. Funk knocks down Haynes but gets caught with a hiptoss then dropkicked out of the ring. We get an insert promo of Jim inviting Haynes over to granny’s house for dinner in a comically awkward bit as Haynes didnt seem to know what to say and sat in silence. Funk catches Haynes with a clothesline then gets two with a fist drop. Renslow tags as Haynes chops him then tags Jim. The Hillbilly slams Renslow then they double team him until Haynes makes him submit to the full nelson (1:53). After the match, they do the do-si-do.

Thoughts: One of the oddest tag team combinations I have ever seen. Not much to add other than that.

The Snake Pit with guests Bobby Heenan and Paul Orndorff. They run down Hulk Hogan as Orndorff said you can even ask Hogan’s girlfriend who is the better man. The Hogan/Orndorff feud was still going on strong.

Jerry Allen vs. “The Natural” Butch Reed w/ Slick

Heenan is back on commentary and announces that Capt. Lou Albano will be retiring from wrestling. Allen catches Reed with an armdrag but Reed knocks him down. He chokes out Reed against the ropes as Gorilla asks Heenan how much he paid for the contract of Hercules and shortly after that Reed hits Allen with a flying clothesline for the win (2:19).

Thoughts: Reed was getting pushed but despite that he still was not all that over with the crowd.

We are shown Albano as he says that next week he will have his final match teaming with the Bulldogs to take on the Dream Team and Johnny Valiant.

Frenchy Martin & Dave Wagner vs. The Islanders

Tama works the arm of Martin as we get an insert promo from Sheik & Volkoff and Slick as they run down the Islanders. Wagner tags and the Islanders work him over until Tama puts him away with a top rope splash (2:26).

Thoughts: Seemed like filler to me although they are teasing a feud between the Islanders and Sheik & Volkoff.

Resnick is with Bobby Heenan, who puts over Orndorff for being the greatest athlete today and the fact that he has been the only person to leave Hulk Hogan lying down. Orndorff comes in and lets us know that Heenan was not bragging but that the truth hurts and that he will even sell his own family down the river for the belt. He then tells Hogan he was dumb for thinking that he was his friend.

Next week, Koko B. Ware will face Randy Savage in a non-title match. Also, King Harley Race vs. Corporal Kirchner and the featured match of the British Bulldogs & Albano vs. The Dream Team & Johnny V.

Final Thoughts: Another skippable show. They set up net week’s show nicely as they have a lot going on then but really, not a whole lot happened here but if you missed “Superstars of Wrestling,” you got recaps of all the major happenings.

Schedule for the following week:

Tuesday: WWF Superstars of Wrestling 11/15/86
Thursday: RF Video Shoot Interview with Ted DiBiase, Volume 1
Friday: WWF Wrestling Challenge 11/16/86
Saturday: RoH Night of Champions 3/22/03
Sunday: WWF Superstars of Wrestling 11/22/86

WCW Nitro: September 30, 1996

We’re almost up to date
kids. Just 5 days (and 18 years) behind from being back on target.
Was last week’s Nitro an
oversaturation of the nWo, after months of prime booking? BigDaddyLoco thinks so, and explains:
I remember this being the first time I was turned
off by the nWo. WCW couldn’t have looked any lamer here which was of course a
big part of the problem. It wasn’t as bad as the redo the set episode, but it
wasn’t exciting television. Hall was on his game though.
wannaberockstar adds his thoughts as well:
I get the whole suspension of belief thing but, at
this time, the NWO was literally assaulting WCW employees and interrupting a
live, nationally broadcast television program and the people in the trucks nor
the people where ever the main TNT broadcast hub was located, didn’t once think
that they’re witnessing a criminal act on live tv and they should either call
the police or, at the very least, shut down the feed and air some rerun of
Thunder in Paradise or something.
Let’s not lose hope now.
Because hope is all we have. Hope that a hero emerges. Someone who can stand up
to the nWo. Someone with the where-with-all to dial 9-1-1 during an emergency.

Dr. Unlikely feels someone in particular might be up to the task:
I would love to have seen a sit-down interview
with Glacier at this time, where he’s all “Holy shit, did I return from my
mystical trip to Japan just in time for the start of a massive gang war? People
are stealing police cars and being beaten with bats on live telvision! Why
aren’t the authorities involved in this?! My dad was a cop, this is really
messed up!” We can only assume that Glacier will now be the the focus of
Bigelow-esque bidding war by the nWo, Dungeon, Horsemen and Luger, right? Like,
that’s what the next two months of this show must be about, everyone trying to
recruit this massively-hyped, superpowered ninja who has arrived to fill the
Sting-sized void in the war for WCW’s soul?
There is no time to
expand on this, because we are LIVE from Cleveland, Ohio, the home of the
defending AL Champion Indians, and a bunch of teams that have won JACK SQUAT
for about 300 years. TONY SCHIAVONE
and LARRY ZBYSZKO are your
announcers, and gee whilickers is Tony ever hot. Not in body, but in rage, of
course. His good friend Eric Bischoff was slapped around like Lash LeRoux’s stepchild,
but even worse, they debuted an nWo race-car. I actually didn’t make that last
part up.
ERIC BISCHOFF is behind the desk, to talk about the “New World Odor” (oh good,
THAT’S spreading). Bischoff starts the 1905 crap, and skips Ric Flair’s name
when listing the greatest champions in its history. “The nWo is nothing but
DIRT BAGS! That means you Hulk Hogan!” Whoa, watch that potty mouth. Bischoff
declares his hiring of Hogan the biggest mistake of his life. The fans reply in
total support of WCW by chanting “NWO!” loud enough to blow the roof off of any
arena in the country.
ENEMY (for the WCW world tag-team titles)
El Technico is dressed
like The Flash, assuming the Flash started with the red body stocking and
stopped accessorizing immediately. They really couldn’t have tapped any other
Cruiserweight talent, they had to agonizingly import another Mexican instead of
using, say, Billy Kidman? Billy Kidman would have been a much better choice
here. A real shame Billy Kidman isn’t in this match. Maybe WCW will realize all
their mistake and book Billy Kidman in the future, instead of El Technico, who
certainly isn’t Billy Kidman. Juvi hits a springboard rana onto Rock, and he
rolls to the floor. Juvi’s right behind – big mistake because the floor is like
the STREETZ, and the guardrail is now home to Juvi’s face. Technico tags in,
and faces a double team sidewalk cutter, which he sells like Billy Kidman. Juvi
gets dumped to the outside, allowing them to blind El Technico by turning his
mask around. Drive By finishes at 2:05.
* Technico is put through the table after the match, by a slingshot senton from
Rock. Technico is left for dead, eventually eulogized by Billy Kidman.
In the locker room, MIKE TENAY is on duty. Gene’s face has
been printed on Milk Cartons at this point. CHRIS BENOIT, MONGO
present. Mongo promises no more 60-on-1 assaults by the nWo. Does WCW realize
they had about 1,000 jobbers in the back? Surely their combined jobber
superpowers could have been the strength of at least 2-3 Sting’s. In other
news, Chris Benoit vows to kill Rick Steiner for some reason. Rick had better
seek the asylum of the enclosed pool area with the rest of the dogs.
Hollywood is hangin’ and
bangin’ with Nasty Nick Hogan, and the rest of the nWo. DiBiase yuks it up that
WCW is on the hook for the nWo ads since they lost at War Games. Hall welcomes
WCW back from Japan, figuring a little R&R must have done them some good.
Nash makes dated jokes about Ross Perot and Bill Murray, but then this show IS
18 years old, so I suppose it might have been hip amongst that critical 45-60
year old demographic they were chasing at the time.
DEAN MALENKO (with Rey Mysterio Jr’s mask) vs.
Wright dominates Malenko
early with a bunch of holds. Nobody’s buying Alex’s technical prowess, WCW.
Malenko hits a backdrop suplex out of a headlock for 2, and Tony calls for a
commercial break.
Apparently it was “all
Dean Malenko” during the break, but Wright is rallying. Malenko ends that fast
sending him to the floor, and whips Wright into the guardrail. Back in, Deano
grapevines the leg, while Alex contemplates his options. Dean releases, and
Wright hits a bunch of European uppercuts, but he is NOT Dave Taylor so Malenko
retains his life. Malenko tries a crossbody off the top, but Wright ducks and
then locks Malenko in a crucifix for the big upset at 5:19. Ain’t that a stinker. *1/2
MIKE TENAY welcomes Randy Savage, who’s hot off his rampage on WCW Saturday
Night (read
the recap
!). However, Savage no-shows his appearance, so Tenay calls an
audible for a break. Does he have the authority for that? Know your role,
“JUICED” JIM POWERS (with Teddy Long) vs. EDDIE
I don’t see good things
in the immediately future of Mr. Powers. NICK
is your referee, and sporting a neck brace after his vicious
assault. Larry thinks Savage was in the wrong, since he’s supposed to be our
savior right now and he’s not in control of his faculties. If you’re waiting
for Savage to commit to sanity, Larry, then you’re in for a long, long ride.
Powers hits a clothesline on Eddie for 2, and slaps on a chinlock. We check out
the crowd, where the NWO LACKEYS are
once again parading around with signage. Powers connects with a vertical suplex
for 2, while the crowd shits all over this match and starts chanting for the
nWo. Eddie fights back with a European uppercut, but Powers just slams his mug
into the buckle. Eddie manages a backdrop suplex, and heads up, but Powers cuts
him off. Powers hits a superplex for a close 2, which draws the ire of Long –
but Patrick’s been on the up and up. Eddie manages a German suplex with a
bridge, and scores the pin at 6:26.
Long argues that Eddie had HIS shoulders down and it was Powers who kicked out,
but Patrick doesn’t particularly care. Long demands Patrick return to referee
school. *1/2
The Nasty Boys have
joined the nWo party, wanting to talk that business Hollywood brought up last
week. Syxx brings in the caterer who has more food, while the Nastys just want
to party it up. Nick Hogan throws on a wolf mask, letting Hall coin the term “Wolfpac”
for the first time. Saggs bends over and talks out of his ass, impersonating
MIKE TENAY has tracked down ARN ANDERSON,
WOMAN, and ELIZABETH. Arn says the Horsemen forgave Liz once for her moment of
weakness after War Games with Savage, but then on WCW Saturday Night she
strayed again. Arn says she is a Horseman, there’s no grey area. Liz calls
matters complicated, but Woman’s all bitch,
. Arn warns Liz to start thinking, long and hard.
What the hell is this
crap? WCW has been slapping themselves on the back all night about having their
roster back, and THIS is what they send out? Thankfully, the Countdown to RAW
Hour #2 hits the screen, which means it can only look up from here. Armstrong
delivers dropkicks as the fireworks explode.
booth. Tenay tries to explain what happened with Savage, shedding absolutely no
new light on anything.
Meanwhile, Morrus drops a
leg across Armstrong’s pooter, and then drops his weight down in the same spot.
Yikes. Armstrong comes back with an enzuigiri, and punches Morrus in the
stomach causing him to sell like Bald Bull. Brad tries the side Russian
legsweep, but Morrus hooks the ropes to block. Scoop slam sets up No Laughing
Matter, which is not good enough for Morrus, who does it again, finally
accepting the pin at 4:16. **
Backstage, ARN ANDERSON and WOMAN are arguing with ELIZABETH,
demanding to know if she’s with them or not. Arn tells her to take her heart
out of business.
ERIC BISCHOFF drops his headset, and says he’s going to go looking for Randy
Savage as well as the hotel the nWo is staying at. He invites Schiavone to take
over if he’s around.
TONY SCHIAVONE takes over the lead headset, and declares his loyalty to Eric
Bischoff. NICK PATRICK referees,
which seems strange since he’s allegedly an nWo guy, but they’re in a hotel
off-site. Jericho takes down Arn with a drop toe hold and applies a half Indian
deathlock. Arn comes back with shoulderblocks to Jericho’s midsection, as ELIZABETH watches from a small monitor
backstage. Jericho kicks Arn in the head, which sends him to the floor. Jericho
comes off the apron with a shoulderblock, but before he can follow up he’s
getting slapped by Woman and decked by Arn. Back in, Arn drops a knee across
Jericho’s face, as Liz walks off. Jericho is given fishhooks which are illegal,
but this is wrestling so you’ve got at least 5 seconds to break and it’s
totally cool. Arn comes off the top which is funny because he has nothing in his
repertoire from there, and eats a dropkick to the face. Jericho hits a spinning
elbow off the top, but only gets 2. Lionsault misses, and Arn leaps up to
flatten the kid with a DDT for the win at 5:35.
Loads of fun here. ***
grabs her bags and leaves the building.
What the hell happened to
“VK”? He was called that as recently as Last Night! Did he wake up and legally
change his name? What were his motivations? Is he running from the law? The
mob? The IRS? The 99%? Luger’s fired up, overcoming Wallstreet like Warren
Buffet. But like a depression, Wallstreet fights back to crush his dreams and
apply an abdominal stretch. A scoop slam sets up an elbowdrop for 2. The rear
chinlock is applied because all of 2 minutes in, we really need to slow this
baby down. Luger fights loose, but is stopped with a snapmare. Wallstreet
misses a blind charge, and Luger rolls him up for 2. A foot to the face stuns
Wallstreet and Luger hits the forearm of STEEL for 2. A clothesline from
Wallstreet turns things around once again, and he goes for the kill. Luger
fights out of a Vertical suplex, and applies the Rack for the submission at 7:23. *1/2
Back at the announce
table, Tony says it takes a big man to admit a wrongdoing, and Eric showed a
lot of guts admitting his signing of Hogan was a mistake. Heenan: “I told you
that a long time ago.” Tony brings out WCW’s new peace offering to Sting: The
WCW/Sting Sports Motor Car. It’s purple and yellow, WCW’s colors, with Sting’s
face on the front. Elliot Sadler will drive it this week. Tony begs Sting to
come back.
THE FACES OF FEAR (with Jimmy Hart) vs. THE ROCK
Meng and Morton start,
and Morton’s using the “hit and run” strategy which lasts about 3 seconds
before Meng catches him and chokes him. Morton jumps on Meng’s back with a
sleeper hold. Heenan: “Meng hasn’t slept since ’62!” And indeed, Meng’s face
changes from savage to uncomfortable savage as his selling, and he eventually knocks
Morton off. Barbarian comes in and they give Morton a double headbutt. Morton
winds up in a fallaway slam position, but Gibson hits a dropkick to launch Morton
on top for 2. Each guy takes turns trying pinfalls to no avail. Gibson manages
a sunset flip for 2 as we head to a commercial break.
You won’t believe it if I
tell you, but when we come back, Morton is being beaten down, and kept away
from his corner. I know – on what planet, right? Meng kills him with a spike
piledriver, but Gibson saves. An atomic drop sets up a big boot from Barbarian,
and that gets 2. Morton is powerbombed to China, but somehow he kicks out. Holy
hell. A nasty backbreaker hits now, but Morton escapes again. Meng comes in,
but Morton slams his head to the buckle and dives for Gibson. He’s denied, so
he leaps on Meng’s shoulders with a front facelock. Meng swats him down and
axehandles the back of his head. Morton dives with a desperate crossbody for 2.
Barbarian comes back, and he hits a hard elbowdrop. Scoop slam brings back
Meng, and both guys dive at Morton with headbutts, but again Gibson saves.
Barbarian tries a swandive now, but Morton moves to safety, while Barbarian
shakes the cobwebs. Gibson gets the hot tag, but the fans don’t respond at all.
He hits a kneelift followed by an enzuigiri! Barbarian is pounded in the
corner, before he turns back to Meng and hits a double dropkick with Morton’s
help! Hart interferes long enough for Barbarian to hit Gibson with the Kick of
Fear and the Islanders win again at 9:24.
I loved every second of this. ***1/2
THE PUBLIC ENEMY hit the ring to save the Express, so the Faces of Fear figure what
the hell, and decide to try and break Johnny Grunge’s leg for kicks. GIVE THEM
The Nasty Boys are
stuffing their faces while DiBiase orders a bottle of Dom. Kyle Petty sits with
the nWo, who confirms he will be driving the nWo going forward, before mocking
the WCW car. Hogan says at Halloween Havoc, Liz will both be trick AND treat.
CHRIS BENOIT (with Mongo and Debra McMichael) vs.
Yes, this is the main
event of Nitro and NOT WCW Worldwide. The giveaway is the audience of greater
than 100 viewers. NICK PATRICK
referees, lecturing the camera that he is the one under scrutiny yet still
continues to work hurt. Benoit and Steiner throw meathooks at each other, with
neither getting an obvious advantage, until Steiner throws a German suplex to
break the stalemate. Yikes. Benoit comes back with a short-armed clothesline
for 2. A headbutt crosses Steiner’s eyes, and Benoit follows with a snap
suplex. Rick comes back with a huge powerslam that takes Benoit over his head,
but it only gets 2. Debra comes over to distract Patrick, allowing Mongo the
chance hit Steiner with the Haliburton, and Benoit scores the win at 4:26. ** The announcers complain that
Patrick must have heard the briefcase shot, because apparently he’s held to a
different standard than every referee in history.
Tony signs off, but after
the credits come up …
We’re in the hotel room,
where Scott Hall has put on the Wolf mask. Elizabeth(!!!) is seated between
Giant and Hogan. Giant tells Liz he’s already had a chance to do two movies
since he joined the nWo, including one with Arnold Schwarzenegger. Hogan tells
Liz to stop worrying about Savage. Vincent comes in with a giant bowtied
present, while Hogan promises Liz a three-movie shoot if she joins the nWo. Liz
says everything’s changed since they made the initial deal, but Hogan promises
to make it work. She takes off into the hallway, where Randy Savage is waiting!
MORE!” Liz cries and begs for her life, as Nitro goes off the air for real this
Well, at least he didn’t slap her.

What will Macho do! Tune
into WCW Prime to (not) find out!

Evening Thread – Sunday Edition

Fall Brawl ’98 on the network stream tonight, beginning at 8:00 PM ET. Card included Disco Inferno/Alex Wright vs. The British Bulldog/Jim Neidhart; “Goldberg” vs. Chris Jericho; Ernest Miller vs. Norman Smiley; Rick Steiner vs. Scott Steiner; Juventud Guerrera vs. Silver King for the WCW Cruiserweight championship; Perry Saturn vs. Raven; Dean Malenko vs. Curt Hennig; Konnan vs. Scott Hall; the main event is the three-way WarGames match with DDP/Piper/Warrior vs. Hogan/Hart/Stevie Ray vs. Sting/Luger/Nash.

MLB playoffs continue with Orioles-Tigers still going at the time of posting this; Angels-Royals Game 3, with the Angels trying to stave off elimination in what would be called an upset, as the Royals Cinderella-like saga continues.

Sunday Night Football on NBC: Cincinnati @ New England.

Sunday night TV has the premieres of Bob’s Burgers and Mulaney on FOX.

Original WWE Network idea discussed 3 years ago.

Hey Scott,

 I stumbled across this while looking through your older content and 3 years ago Vince made mention of creating what we know today as WWE Network you even made a post about the subject on this very blog, which I have linked: Do you still stand by your original comments of how it is the worst move possible the WWE could have made? Cheers.Well it's not like it's doing very well at the moment, and they've basically cannibalized their PPV business.  I'm glad they did it, but I have to think that they're regretting jumping in with all appendages at once like they did.  Yeah, they can make it work by cutting the shit out of all their expenditures, but the launch was kind of a debacle.  But what's done is done.