CM Punk v. Chris Brown

Hey Scott, I thought the CM Punk/Chris Brown Twitter war would be grounds for a good discussion. Here is the full timeline so far: http://pwtorch.com/artman2/publish/quicknews/article_58416.shtml I see many people praising Punk and cheering him on for this, but to me it just seems like yet another wrestler screaming for some attention in the media. Someone in the comments also made pretty apt comparisons between Brown and Steve Austin (whom Punk idolises and wears the merchandise of)- Both having been in trouble with the law for leaving a woman bruised and bleeding.  What are your own thoughts on the matter?

I agree, it sounds like Punk looking for media attention, especially when, as noted by another poster who e-mailed me too, he only seems to hate the woman-beaters who he can’t make money wrestling against.  Plus it’s been a few years now since the original crime; it’s a little late to start calling the guy out for his actions unless Punk has some secret info about other victims of Chris Brown.   Steve Austin’s own behavior was a major reason why I stopped considering myself a fan of his at the time, and although I still appreciate what he does on an artistic level I just can’t bring myself to support him any more the way I used to.    Maybe Punk has some endgame we don’t know about here, but it just comes off as another cry for attention from WWE. 

CM Punk v. Chris Brown

Hey Scott, I thought the CM Punk/Chris Brown Twitter war would be grounds for a good discussion. Here is the full timeline so far: http://pwtorch.com/artman2/publish/quicknews/article_58416.shtml I see many people praising Punk and cheering him on for this, but to me it just seems like yet another wrestler screaming for some attention in the media. Someone in the comments also made pretty apt comparisons between Brown and Steve Austin (whom Punk idolises and wears the merchandise of)- Both having been in trouble with the law for leaving a woman bruised and bleeding.  What are your own thoughts on the matter?

I agree, it sounds like Punk looking for media attention, especially when, as noted by another poster who e-mailed me too, he only seems to hate the woman-beaters who he can’t make money wrestling against.  Plus it’s been a few years now since the original crime; it’s a little late to start calling the guy out for his actions unless Punk has some secret info about other victims of Chris Brown.   Steve Austin’s own behavior was a major reason why I stopped considering myself a fan of his at the time, and although I still appreciate what he does on an artistic level I just can’t bring myself to support him any more the way I used to.    Maybe Punk has some endgame we don’t know about here, but it just comes off as another cry for attention from WWE. 

CM Punk v. Chris Brown

Hey Scott, I thought the CM Punk/Chris Brown Twitter war would be grounds for a good discussion. Here is the full timeline so far: http://pwtorch.com/artman2/publish/quicknews/article_58416.shtml I see many people praising Punk and cheering him on for this, but to me it just seems like yet another wrestler screaming for some attention in the media. Someone in the comments also made pretty apt comparisons between Brown and Steve Austin (whom Punk idolises and wears the merchandise of)- Both having been in trouble with the law for leaving a woman bruised and bleeding.  What are your own thoughts on the matter?

I agree, it sounds like Punk looking for media attention, especially when, as noted by another poster who e-mailed me too, he only seems to hate the woman-beaters who he can’t make money wrestling against.  Plus it’s been a few years now since the original crime; it’s a little late to start calling the guy out for his actions unless Punk has some secret info about other victims of Chris Brown.   Steve Austin’s own behavior was a major reason why I stopped considering myself a fan of his at the time, and although I still appreciate what he does on an artistic level I just can’t bring myself to support him any more the way I used to.    Maybe Punk has some endgame we don’t know about here, but it just comes off as another cry for attention from WWE. 

CM Punk v. Chris Brown

Hey Scott, I thought the CM Punk/Chris Brown Twitter war would be grounds for a good discussion. Here is the full timeline so far: http://pwtorch.com/artman2/publish/quicknews/article_58416.shtml I see many people praising Punk and cheering him on for this, but to me it just seems like yet another wrestler screaming for some attention in the media. Someone in the comments also made pretty apt comparisons between Brown and Steve Austin (whom Punk idolises and wears the merchandise of)- Both having been in trouble with the law for leaving a woman bruised and bleeding.  What are your own thoughts on the matter?

I agree, it sounds like Punk looking for media attention, especially when, as noted by another poster who e-mailed me too, he only seems to hate the woman-beaters who he can’t make money wrestling against.  Plus it’s been a few years now since the original crime; it’s a little late to start calling the guy out for his actions unless Punk has some secret info about other victims of Chris Brown.   Steve Austin’s own behavior was a major reason why I stopped considering myself a fan of his at the time, and although I still appreciate what he does on an artistic level I just can’t bring myself to support him any more the way I used to.    Maybe Punk has some endgame we don’t know about here, but it just comes off as another cry for attention from WWE. 

The SmarK SUPER SMACKDOWN Rant – 02.21.12

The SmarK SUPER SmackDown Rant – 02.21.12

LIVE from somewhere not mentioned.

Your hosts are Michael Cole, Josh Matthews & Booker T.

Daniel Bryan and AJ start us out, as Bryan gloats about main-eventing Wrestlemania.  Although “main event” is a bit of a stretch given he’ll be fourth from the top at best.  He claims to be the real Rocky story, but the Miz interrupts.  Whoa, dig the STAR POWER.  Miz takes credit for Bryan’s development into a star and wants to form a team, but now Sheamus interrupts.  Miz is mortified, but Bryan attacks Sheamus and runs off, leaving Miz to get walloped.

Sheamus v. The Miz

Apparently Teddy Long booked the match during the break.  We join it in progress with Sheamus holding an armbar, and dumping Miz to the apron for the forearms.  Sheamus slingshots in with a shoulderblock for two, but Miz necksnaps him.  Sheamus misses a charge and hits the floor off that, allowing Miz to work the arm for a bit and hit the running corner clothesline.  Double axehandle off the top gets two, and they slug it out, but Sheamus comes back with elbows and his own corner clothesline.  Backbreaker gets two.  Miz gets the neckbreaker for two and sets up for the Finale, but Sheamus escapes and misses the big kick.  Emerald Frozen finishes at 5:55, however.  I’m guessing they can just call that the Emerald Isle and they’re golden.  Fine TV match.  **1/2  Miz really needs something different to do at this point, though, because he’s going to get stuck in the wrestling equivalent of the Friend Zone and never escape.

Meanwhile, Aksana continues putting the moves on Teddy Long, but Big Johnny and his lawyer interrupt.  So Teddy announces that their office is the men’s room tonight.  Oh, burn.

Kofi Kingston & R-Truth v. Dolph Ziggler & Jack Swagger

Must suck to be the Usos.  WWE is so desperate for tag teams that they throw R-BOOM together on RAW to bolster it, and the Usos still can’t even get off Superstars.  Swagger quickly gets the pump splash on Truth for two, and Ziggler drops the elbow and does situps.  Blind charge misses and Kofi gets the hot tag and runs wild, hitting a high cross on Dolph for two.  It’s BONZO GONZO and Truth takes yet another hard dump to the floor, allowing Ziggler to finish Kofi with the Zig Zag at 2:43.  I think this was actually Ziggler’s first win in something like two months, although I don’t get why you put the new team over the tag champs one night and then job them to another heel team the next night.

Meanwhile, Santino is training with the Cobra, but Heath Slater interrupts and gets spit on.  By the sock.  Yeah.  Luckily, Michael Cole helpfully points out that this was funny.

The Great Khali v. Drew McIntyre

Still not fired, I see.  Khali squashes the shit out of him at 0:27 with the tree slam.  This McIntyre storyline makes no sense.  So Teddy Long, weeks ago, says that he needs to win or he’s fired.  So he loses and loses and loses and loses and loses and loses and loses…and then nothing, he’s still there, and still losing, and now there’s not even any stakes to it, he’s just a guy who loses.  So what was the point?

Meanwhile, Big Show is really quite upset at Cody Rhodes.  They still need to get to Shaq for Wrestlemania, so maybe they’ll go with Show & Shaq v. Cody & Barrett instead?

Big Show v. Mark Henry

Good god, let poor Mark take a month off and heal.  Show hammers him in the corner but misses the knockout punch, and Henry pounds him down to take over.  Mark steps on him and chokes him out on the ropes, laying down some quality trash-talk.  Henry misses a blind charge and Show comes back with clotheslines and the spear, but Cody Rhodes interrupts.  For some reason, Show stops wrestling and stands there staring while Cody shows a video of Show v. Akebono at Wrestlemania 21.  And he turns around into a slam and splash for two.  Henry must have the WORLD’S STRONGEST GROIN if he can bodyslam a guy with his injuries.  Show, however, puts Henry down with the Kassius Ohno punch and that match just stops at 5:00 or so with no winner announced.  What the fuck kind of finish was that?  *1/2

Ezekial Jackson v. David Otunga

As much as they do the fake laughter for dumb stuff, Johnny Ace coming out and doing the Teddy Long dance with no music is legitimately hilarious.  And Zeke cuts a DROP IN PROMO before the match so we know he means business.  Hopefully he lasts longer than 90 seconds this time then.  Otunga pounds away, but Zeke gets a pair of clotheslines in the corner followed by a splash.  Otunga escapes the torture rack by grabbing the ropes, and finishes with the spinebuster at 1:14.  So no, in fact Zeke lost even faster this time.  ½*  I think perhaps Teddy Long should consider upgrading his avatar in this feud.

Meanwhile, CM Punk talks up Teddy Long and hypes the main event tonight.

Daniel Bryan v. CM Punk

We’ve got half an hour left so that’s gotta be a good sign.  Michael Cole goes crazy for a “Twitter War” between Punk and Chris Brown, which is apparently about how Brown wants Hacksaw Duggan and Bret Hart to come back or something.  Hey, how about Punk & Rihanna v. Brown & Eve Torres for Wrestlemania!  They trade headlocks while Cole once again talks about how “#1 trend worldwide” means “most talked about subject on Twitter”, which is completely a lie.  That is totally incorrect and they are pathetic trying to make it sound like it’s true.  We take a break and return with Bryan hurting Punk’s arm and working on it in the corner, but a blind charge misses.  Punk whiffs on a springboard bodyblock, landing right on the arm to hurt it further.  By the way, add “developing story” to my list of annoying Michael Cole-isms.  It joins “building momentum” among many others.  Bryan throws the kicks, but Punk slugs back with forearms until Bryan takes him down by the arm again.  Bryan gets a nice dick heel move, grinding his knee into Punk’s face on the mat, before going to the surfboard hold.  Punk fights out of that with a backbreaker and either blows out his knee in the process or does a spectacular job of faking it.  That was just sloppy.  Apparently he’s fine because he fights back with the high kicks and tries the GTS, but Bryan goes the arm to escape and then exits the ring.  Sheamus tosses him back in and Punk finishes with the high kick at 9:42.  BUT WAIT!  Executive Vice President of Talent Relations and Interim GM of RAW Johnny Ace WILL NOT STAND for this injustice, and the match MUST CONTINUE.  He’s got a point.  So we take a break and return with Bryan getting a rollup and holding the ropes for the pin at 11:32.  BUT WAIT!  Teddy Long continues wrecking a perfectly good match with overbooking bullshit and he also decrees that the match MUST CONTINUE.   Punk hits a tope suicida and back in for a springboard clothesline that gets two.  Back in, Bryan takes over again and gets a dropkick into the corner for two.  Top rope rana is reversed by Punk on the way down for two, and Punk blocks the seated kicks with a rollup for two.  Bryan reverses that into the Lebell Lock, but Punk escapes with the catapult and levels him with the high kick for two.  Punk goes up for the big elbow, but Bryan crotches him and they fight for the superplex attempt.  Punk puts him down twice, but Bryan just won’t die and finally gets his superplex…which Punk immediately turns into a small package for the pin at 17:29.  However, both shoulders were down, so apparently there’s no winner here either.  Long and Ace argue over it, and for some reason Long is endorsing Punk while Ace is endorsing Bryan, which is bizarre because you’d think they’d support the champions of their own show, personal feelings aside.  At least that’s what HHH told us a couple of weeks ago.  Anyway, great match, STUPID ending.  These were some spectacularly bad finishes tonight, although it’s tough to ruin Punk v. Bryan.  ****

The Pulse:

This was basically RAW part 2, and the entire show was god-awful up until the main event saved it, so please do yourself a favor and seek out that match, and feel free to ignore the rest of this crappy show.

 

The SmarK SUPER SMACKDOWN Rant – 02.21.12

The SmarK SUPER SmackDown Rant – 02.21.12

LIVE from somewhere not mentioned.

Your hosts are Michael Cole, Josh Matthews & Booker T.

Daniel Bryan and AJ start us out, as Bryan gloats about main-eventing Wrestlemania.  Although “main event” is a bit of a stretch given he’ll be fourth from the top at best.  He claims to be the real Rocky story, but the Miz interrupts.  Whoa, dig the STAR POWER.  Miz takes credit for Bryan’s development into a star and wants to form a team, but now Sheamus interrupts.  Miz is mortified, but Bryan attacks Sheamus and runs off, leaving Miz to get walloped.

Sheamus v. The Miz

Apparently Teddy Long booked the match during the break.  We join it in progress with Sheamus holding an armbar, and dumping Miz to the apron for the forearms.  Sheamus slingshots in with a shoulderblock for two, but Miz necksnaps him.  Sheamus misses a charge and hits the floor off that, allowing Miz to work the arm for a bit and hit the running corner clothesline.  Double axehandle off the top gets two, and they slug it out, but Sheamus comes back with elbows and his own corner clothesline.  Backbreaker gets two.  Miz gets the neckbreaker for two and sets up for the Finale, but Sheamus escapes and misses the big kick.  Emerald Frozen finishes at 5:55, however.  I’m guessing they can just call that the Emerald Isle and they’re golden.  Fine TV match.  **1/2  Miz really needs something different to do at this point, though, because he’s going to get stuck in the wrestling equivalent of the Friend Zone and never escape.

Meanwhile, Aksana continues putting the moves on Teddy Long, but Big Johnny and his lawyer interrupt.  So Teddy announces that their office is the men’s room tonight.  Oh, burn.

Kofi Kingston & R-Truth v. Dolph Ziggler & Jack Swagger

Must suck to be the Usos.  WWE is so desperate for tag teams that they throw R-BOOM together on RAW to bolster it, and the Usos still can’t even get off Superstars.  Swagger quickly gets the pump splash on Truth for two, and Ziggler drops the elbow and does situps.  Blind charge misses and Kofi gets the hot tag and runs wild, hitting a high cross on Dolph for two.  It’s BONZO GONZO and Truth takes yet another hard dump to the floor, allowing Ziggler to finish Kofi with the Zig Zag at 2:43.  I think this was actually Ziggler’s first win in something like two months, although I don’t get why you put the new team over the tag champs one night and then job them to another heel team the next night.

Meanwhile, Santino is training with the Cobra, but Heath Slater interrupts and gets spit on.  By the sock.  Yeah.  Luckily, Michael Cole helpfully points out that this was funny.

The Great Khali v. Drew McIntyre

Still not fired, I see.  Khali squashes the shit out of him at 0:27 with the tree slam.  This McIntyre storyline makes no sense.  So Teddy Long, weeks ago, says that he needs to win or he’s fired.  So he loses and loses and loses and loses and loses and loses and loses…and then nothing, he’s still there, and still losing, and now there’s not even any stakes to it, he’s just a guy who loses.  So what was the point?

Meanwhile, Big Show is really quite upset at Cody Rhodes.  They still need to get to Shaq for Wrestlemania, so maybe they’ll go with Show & Shaq v. Cody & Barrett instead?

Big Show v. Mark Henry

Good god, let poor Mark take a month off and heal.  Show hammers him in the corner but misses the knockout punch, and Henry pounds him down to take over.  Mark steps on him and chokes him out on the ropes, laying down some quality trash-talk.  Henry misses a blind charge and Show comes back with clotheslines and the spear, but Cody Rhodes interrupts.  For some reason, Show stops wrestling and stands there staring while Cody shows a video of Show v. Akebono at Wrestlemania 21.  And he turns around into a slam and splash for two.  Henry must have the WORLD’S STRONGEST GROIN if he can bodyslam a guy with his injuries.  Show, however, puts Henry down with the Kassius Ohno punch and that match just stops at 5:00 or so with no winner announced.  What the fuck kind of finish was that?  *1/2

Ezekial Jackson v. David Otunga

As much as they do the fake laughter for dumb stuff, Johnny Ace coming out and doing the Teddy Long dance with no music is legitimately hilarious.  And Zeke cuts a DROP IN PROMO before the match so we know he means business.  Hopefully he lasts longer than 90 seconds this time then.  Otunga pounds away, but Zeke gets a pair of clotheslines in the corner followed by a splash.  Otunga escapes the torture rack by grabbing the ropes, and finishes with the spinebuster at 1:14.  So no, in fact Zeke lost even faster this time.  ½*  I think perhaps Teddy Long should consider upgrading his avatar in this feud.

Meanwhile, CM Punk talks up Teddy Long and hypes the main event tonight.

Daniel Bryan v. CM Punk

We’ve got half an hour left so that’s gotta be a good sign.  Michael Cole goes crazy for a “Twitter War” between Punk and Chris Brown, which is apparently about how Brown wants Hacksaw Duggan and Bret Hart to come back or something.  Hey, how about Punk & Rihanna v. Brown & Eve Torres for Wrestlemania!  They trade headlocks while Cole once again talks about how “#1 trend worldwide” means “most talked about subject on Twitter”, which is completely a lie.  That is totally incorrect and they are pathetic trying to make it sound like it’s true.  We take a break and return with Bryan hurting Punk’s arm and working on it in the corner, but a blind charge misses.  Punk whiffs on a springboard bodyblock, landing right on the arm to hurt it further.  By the way, add “developing story” to my list of annoying Michael Cole-isms.  It joins “building momentum” among many others.  Bryan throws the kicks, but Punk slugs back with forearms until Bryan takes him down by the arm again.  Bryan gets a nice dick heel move, grinding his knee into Punk’s face on the mat, before going to the surfboard hold.  Punk fights out of that with a backbreaker and either blows out his knee in the process or does a spectacular job of faking it.  That was just sloppy.  Apparently he’s fine because he fights back with the high kicks and tries the GTS, but Bryan goes the arm to escape and then exits the ring.  Sheamus tosses him back in and Punk finishes with the high kick at 9:42.  BUT WAIT!  Executive Vice President of Talent Relations and Interim GM of RAW Johnny Ace WILL NOT STAND for this injustice, and the match MUST CONTINUE.  He’s got a point.  So we take a break and return with Bryan getting a rollup and holding the ropes for the pin at 11:32.  BUT WAIT!  Teddy Long continues wrecking a perfectly good match with overbooking bullshit and he also decrees that the match MUST CONTINUE.   Punk hits a tope suicida and back in for a springboard clothesline that gets two.  Back in, Bryan takes over again and gets a dropkick into the corner for two.  Top rope rana is reversed by Punk on the way down for two, and Punk blocks the seated kicks with a rollup for two.  Bryan reverses that into the Lebell Lock, but Punk escapes with the catapult and levels him with the high kick for two.  Punk goes up for the big elbow, but Bryan crotches him and they fight for the superplex attempt.  Punk puts him down twice, but Bryan just won’t die and finally gets his superplex…which Punk immediately turns into a small package for the pin at 17:29.  However, both shoulders were down, so apparently there’s no winner here either.  Long and Ace argue over it, and for some reason Long is endorsing Punk while Ace is endorsing Bryan, which is bizarre because you’d think they’d support the champions of their own show, personal feelings aside.  At least that’s what HHH told us a couple of weeks ago.  Anyway, great match, STUPID ending.  These were some spectacularly bad finishes tonight, although it’s tough to ruin Punk v. Bryan.  ****

The Pulse:

This was basically RAW part 2, and the entire show was god-awful up until the main event saved it, so please do yourself a favor and seek out that match, and feel free to ignore the rest of this crappy show.

 

The SmarK SUPER SMACKDOWN Rant – 02.21.12

The SmarK SUPER SmackDown Rant – 02.21.12

LIVE from somewhere not mentioned.

Your hosts are Michael Cole, Josh Matthews & Booker T.

Daniel Bryan and AJ start us out, as Bryan gloats about main-eventing Wrestlemania.  Although “main event” is a bit of a stretch given he’ll be fourth from the top at best.  He claims to be the real Rocky story, but the Miz interrupts.  Whoa, dig the STAR POWER.  Miz takes credit for Bryan’s development into a star and wants to form a team, but now Sheamus interrupts.  Miz is mortified, but Bryan attacks Sheamus and runs off, leaving Miz to get walloped.

Sheamus v. The Miz

Apparently Teddy Long booked the match during the break.  We join it in progress with Sheamus holding an armbar, and dumping Miz to the apron for the forearms.  Sheamus slingshots in with a shoulderblock for two, but Miz necksnaps him.  Sheamus misses a charge and hits the floor off that, allowing Miz to work the arm for a bit and hit the running corner clothesline.  Double axehandle off the top gets two, and they slug it out, but Sheamus comes back with elbows and his own corner clothesline.  Backbreaker gets two.  Miz gets the neckbreaker for two and sets up for the Finale, but Sheamus escapes and misses the big kick.  Emerald Frozen finishes at 5:55, however.  I’m guessing they can just call that the Emerald Isle and they’re golden.  Fine TV match.  **1/2  Miz really needs something different to do at this point, though, because he’s going to get stuck in the wrestling equivalent of the Friend Zone and never escape.

Meanwhile, Aksana continues putting the moves on Teddy Long, but Big Johnny and his lawyer interrupt.  So Teddy announces that their office is the men’s room tonight.  Oh, burn.

Kofi Kingston & R-Truth v. Dolph Ziggler & Jack Swagger

Must suck to be the Usos.  WWE is so desperate for tag teams that they throw R-BOOM together on RAW to bolster it, and the Usos still can’t even get off Superstars.  Swagger quickly gets the pump splash on Truth for two, and Ziggler drops the elbow and does situps.  Blind charge misses and Kofi gets the hot tag and runs wild, hitting a high cross on Dolph for two.  It’s BONZO GONZO and Truth takes yet another hard dump to the floor, allowing Ziggler to finish Kofi with the Zig Zag at 2:43.  I think this was actually Ziggler’s first win in something like two months, although I don’t get why you put the new team over the tag champs one night and then job them to another heel team the next night.

Meanwhile, Santino is training with the Cobra, but Heath Slater interrupts and gets spit on.  By the sock.  Yeah.  Luckily, Michael Cole helpfully points out that this was funny.

The Great Khali v. Drew McIntyre

Still not fired, I see.  Khali squashes the shit out of him at 0:27 with the tree slam.  This McIntyre storyline makes no sense.  So Teddy Long, weeks ago, says that he needs to win or he’s fired.  So he loses and loses and loses and loses and loses and loses and loses…and then nothing, he’s still there, and still losing, and now there’s not even any stakes to it, he’s just a guy who loses.  So what was the point?

Meanwhile, Big Show is really quite upset at Cody Rhodes.  They still need to get to Shaq for Wrestlemania, so maybe they’ll go with Show & Shaq v. Cody & Barrett instead?

Big Show v. Mark Henry

Good god, let poor Mark take a month off and heal.  Show hammers him in the corner but misses the knockout punch, and Henry pounds him down to take over.  Mark steps on him and chokes him out on the ropes, laying down some quality trash-talk.  Henry misses a blind charge and Show comes back with clotheslines and the spear, but Cody Rhodes interrupts.  For some reason, Show stops wrestling and stands there staring while Cody shows a video of Show v. Akebono at Wrestlemania 21.  And he turns around into a slam and splash for two.  Henry must have the WORLD’S STRONGEST GROIN if he can bodyslam a guy with his injuries.  Show, however, puts Henry down with the Kassius Ohno punch and that match just stops at 5:00 or so with no winner announced.  What the fuck kind of finish was that?  *1/2

Ezekial Jackson v. David Otunga

As much as they do the fake laughter for dumb stuff, Johnny Ace coming out and doing the Teddy Long dance with no music is legitimately hilarious.  And Zeke cuts a DROP IN PROMO before the match so we know he means business.  Hopefully he lasts longer than 90 seconds this time then.  Otunga pounds away, but Zeke gets a pair of clotheslines in the corner followed by a splash.  Otunga escapes the torture rack by grabbing the ropes, and finishes with the spinebuster at 1:14.  So no, in fact Zeke lost even faster this time.  ½*  I think perhaps Teddy Long should consider upgrading his avatar in this feud.

Meanwhile, CM Punk talks up Teddy Long and hypes the main event tonight.

Daniel Bryan v. CM Punk

We’ve got half an hour left so that’s gotta be a good sign.  Michael Cole goes crazy for a “Twitter War” between Punk and Chris Brown, which is apparently about how Brown wants Hacksaw Duggan and Bret Hart to come back or something.  Hey, how about Punk & Rihanna v. Brown & Eve Torres for Wrestlemania!  They trade headlocks while Cole once again talks about how “#1 trend worldwide” means “most talked about subject on Twitter”, which is completely a lie.  That is totally incorrect and they are pathetic trying to make it sound like it’s true.  We take a break and return with Bryan hurting Punk’s arm and working on it in the corner, but a blind charge misses.  Punk whiffs on a springboard bodyblock, landing right on the arm to hurt it further.  By the way, add “developing story” to my list of annoying Michael Cole-isms.  It joins “building momentum” among many others.  Bryan throws the kicks, but Punk slugs back with forearms until Bryan takes him down by the arm again.  Bryan gets a nice dick heel move, grinding his knee into Punk’s face on the mat, before going to the surfboard hold.  Punk fights out of that with a backbreaker and either blows out his knee in the process or does a spectacular job of faking it.  That was just sloppy.  Apparently he’s fine because he fights back with the high kicks and tries the GTS, but Bryan goes the arm to escape and then exits the ring.  Sheamus tosses him back in and Punk finishes with the high kick at 9:42.  BUT WAIT!  Executive Vice President of Talent Relations and Interim GM of RAW Johnny Ace WILL NOT STAND for this injustice, and the match MUST CONTINUE.  He’s got a point.  So we take a break and return with Bryan getting a rollup and holding the ropes for the pin at 11:32.  BUT WAIT!  Teddy Long continues wrecking a perfectly good match with overbooking bullshit and he also decrees that the match MUST CONTINUE.   Punk hits a tope suicida and back in for a springboard clothesline that gets two.  Back in, Bryan takes over again and gets a dropkick into the corner for two.  Top rope rana is reversed by Punk on the way down for two, and Punk blocks the seated kicks with a rollup for two.  Bryan reverses that into the Lebell Lock, but Punk escapes with the catapult and levels him with the high kick for two.  Punk goes up for the big elbow, but Bryan crotches him and they fight for the superplex attempt.  Punk puts him down twice, but Bryan just won’t die and finally gets his superplex…which Punk immediately turns into a small package for the pin at 17:29.  However, both shoulders were down, so apparently there’s no winner here either.  Long and Ace argue over it, and for some reason Long is endorsing Punk while Ace is endorsing Bryan, which is bizarre because you’d think they’d support the champions of their own show, personal feelings aside.  At least that’s what HHH told us a couple of weeks ago.  Anyway, great match, STUPID ending.  These were some spectacularly bad finishes tonight, although it’s tough to ruin Punk v. Bryan.  ****

The Pulse:

This was basically RAW part 2, and the entire show was god-awful up until the main event saved it, so please do yourself a favor and seek out that match, and feel free to ignore the rest of this crappy show.

 

The SmarK SUPER SMACKDOWN Rant – 02.21.12

The SmarK SUPER SmackDown Rant – 02.21.12

LIVE from somewhere not mentioned.

Your hosts are Michael Cole, Josh Matthews & Booker T.

Daniel Bryan and AJ start us out, as Bryan gloats about main-eventing Wrestlemania.  Although “main event” is a bit of a stretch given he’ll be fourth from the top at best.  He claims to be the real Rocky story, but the Miz interrupts.  Whoa, dig the STAR POWER.  Miz takes credit for Bryan’s development into a star and wants to form a team, but now Sheamus interrupts.  Miz is mortified, but Bryan attacks Sheamus and runs off, leaving Miz to get walloped.

Sheamus v. The Miz

Apparently Teddy Long booked the match during the break.  We join it in progress with Sheamus holding an armbar, and dumping Miz to the apron for the forearms.  Sheamus slingshots in with a shoulderblock for two, but Miz necksnaps him.  Sheamus misses a charge and hits the floor off that, allowing Miz to work the arm for a bit and hit the running corner clothesline.  Double axehandle off the top gets two, and they slug it out, but Sheamus comes back with elbows and his own corner clothesline.  Backbreaker gets two.  Miz gets the neckbreaker for two and sets up for the Finale, but Sheamus escapes and misses the big kick.  Emerald Frozen finishes at 5:55, however.  I’m guessing they can just call that the Emerald Isle and they’re golden.  Fine TV match.  **1/2  Miz really needs something different to do at this point, though, because he’s going to get stuck in the wrestling equivalent of the Friend Zone and never escape.

Meanwhile, Aksana continues putting the moves on Teddy Long, but Big Johnny and his lawyer interrupt.  So Teddy announces that their office is the men’s room tonight.  Oh, burn.

Kofi Kingston & R-Truth v. Dolph Ziggler & Jack Swagger

Must suck to be the Usos.  WWE is so desperate for tag teams that they throw R-BOOM together on RAW to bolster it, and the Usos still can’t even get off Superstars.  Swagger quickly gets the pump splash on Truth for two, and Ziggler drops the elbow and does situps.  Blind charge misses and Kofi gets the hot tag and runs wild, hitting a high cross on Dolph for two.  It’s BONZO GONZO and Truth takes yet another hard dump to the floor, allowing Ziggler to finish Kofi with the Zig Zag at 2:43.  I think this was actually Ziggler’s first win in something like two months, although I don’t get why you put the new team over the tag champs one night and then job them to another heel team the next night.

Meanwhile, Santino is training with the Cobra, but Heath Slater interrupts and gets spit on.  By the sock.  Yeah.  Luckily, Michael Cole helpfully points out that this was funny.

The Great Khali v. Drew McIntyre

Still not fired, I see.  Khali squashes the shit out of him at 0:27 with the tree slam.  This McIntyre storyline makes no sense.  So Teddy Long, weeks ago, says that he needs to win or he’s fired.  So he loses and loses and loses and loses and loses and loses and loses…and then nothing, he’s still there, and still losing, and now there’s not even any stakes to it, he’s just a guy who loses.  So what was the point?

Meanwhile, Big Show is really quite upset at Cody Rhodes.  They still need to get to Shaq for Wrestlemania, so maybe they’ll go with Show & Shaq v. Cody & Barrett instead?

Big Show v. Mark Henry

Good god, let poor Mark take a month off and heal.  Show hammers him in the corner but misses the knockout punch, and Henry pounds him down to take over.  Mark steps on him and chokes him out on the ropes, laying down some quality trash-talk.  Henry misses a blind charge and Show comes back with clotheslines and the spear, but Cody Rhodes interrupts.  For some reason, Show stops wrestling and stands there staring while Cody shows a video of Show v. Akebono at Wrestlemania 21.  And he turns around into a slam and splash for two.  Henry must have the WORLD’S STRONGEST GROIN if he can bodyslam a guy with his injuries.  Show, however, puts Henry down with the Kassius Ohno punch and that match just stops at 5:00 or so with no winner announced.  What the fuck kind of finish was that?  *1/2

Ezekial Jackson v. David Otunga

As much as they do the fake laughter for dumb stuff, Johnny Ace coming out and doing the Teddy Long dance with no music is legitimately hilarious.  And Zeke cuts a DROP IN PROMO before the match so we know he means business.  Hopefully he lasts longer than 90 seconds this time then.  Otunga pounds away, but Zeke gets a pair of clotheslines in the corner followed by a splash.  Otunga escapes the torture rack by grabbing the ropes, and finishes with the spinebuster at 1:14.  So no, in fact Zeke lost even faster this time.  ½*  I think perhaps Teddy Long should consider upgrading his avatar in this feud.

Meanwhile, CM Punk talks up Teddy Long and hypes the main event tonight.

Daniel Bryan v. CM Punk

We’ve got half an hour left so that’s gotta be a good sign.  Michael Cole goes crazy for a “Twitter War” between Punk and Chris Brown, which is apparently about how Brown wants Hacksaw Duggan and Bret Hart to come back or something.  Hey, how about Punk & Rihanna v. Brown & Eve Torres for Wrestlemania!  They trade headlocks while Cole once again talks about how “#1 trend worldwide” means “most talked about subject on Twitter”, which is completely a lie.  That is totally incorrect and they are pathetic trying to make it sound like it’s true.  We take a break and return with Bryan hurting Punk’s arm and working on it in the corner, but a blind charge misses.  Punk whiffs on a springboard bodyblock, landing right on the arm to hurt it further.  By the way, add “developing story” to my list of annoying Michael Cole-isms.  It joins “building momentum” among many others.  Bryan throws the kicks, but Punk slugs back with forearms until Bryan takes him down by the arm again.  Bryan gets a nice dick heel move, grinding his knee into Punk’s face on the mat, before going to the surfboard hold.  Punk fights out of that with a backbreaker and either blows out his knee in the process or does a spectacular job of faking it.  That was just sloppy.  Apparently he’s fine because he fights back with the high kicks and tries the GTS, but Bryan goes the arm to escape and then exits the ring.  Sheamus tosses him back in and Punk finishes with the high kick at 9:42.  BUT WAIT!  Executive Vice President of Talent Relations and Interim GM of RAW Johnny Ace WILL NOT STAND for this injustice, and the match MUST CONTINUE.  He’s got a point.  So we take a break and return with Bryan getting a rollup and holding the ropes for the pin at 11:32.  BUT WAIT!  Teddy Long continues wrecking a perfectly good match with overbooking bullshit and he also decrees that the match MUST CONTINUE.   Punk hits a tope suicida and back in for a springboard clothesline that gets two.  Back in, Bryan takes over again and gets a dropkick into the corner for two.  Top rope rana is reversed by Punk on the way down for two, and Punk blocks the seated kicks with a rollup for two.  Bryan reverses that into the Lebell Lock, but Punk escapes with the catapult and levels him with the high kick for two.  Punk goes up for the big elbow, but Bryan crotches him and they fight for the superplex attempt.  Punk puts him down twice, but Bryan just won’t die and finally gets his superplex…which Punk immediately turns into a small package for the pin at 17:29.  However, both shoulders were down, so apparently there’s no winner here either.  Long and Ace argue over it, and for some reason Long is endorsing Punk while Ace is endorsing Bryan, which is bizarre because you’d think they’d support the champions of their own show, personal feelings aside.  At least that’s what HHH told us a couple of weeks ago.  Anyway, great match, STUPID ending.  These were some spectacularly bad finishes tonight, although it’s tough to ruin Punk v. Bryan.  ****

The Pulse:

This was basically RAW part 2, and the entire show was god-awful up until the main event saved it, so please do yourself a favor and seek out that match, and feel free to ignore the rest of this crappy show.

 

The SmarK SUPER SMACKDOWN Rant – 02.21.12

The SmarK SUPER SmackDown Rant – 02.21.12

LIVE from somewhere not mentioned.

Your hosts are Michael Cole, Josh Matthews & Booker T.

Daniel Bryan and AJ start us out, as Bryan gloats about main-eventing Wrestlemania.  Although “main event” is a bit of a stretch given he’ll be fourth from the top at best.  He claims to be the real Rocky story, but the Miz interrupts.  Whoa, dig the STAR POWER.  Miz takes credit for Bryan’s development into a star and wants to form a team, but now Sheamus interrupts.  Miz is mortified, but Bryan attacks Sheamus and runs off, leaving Miz to get walloped.

Sheamus v. The Miz

Apparently Teddy Long booked the match during the break.  We join it in progress with Sheamus holding an armbar, and dumping Miz to the apron for the forearms.  Sheamus slingshots in with a shoulderblock for two, but Miz necksnaps him.  Sheamus misses a charge and hits the floor off that, allowing Miz to work the arm for a bit and hit the running corner clothesline.  Double axehandle off the top gets two, and they slug it out, but Sheamus comes back with elbows and his own corner clothesline.  Backbreaker gets two.  Miz gets the neckbreaker for two and sets up for the Finale, but Sheamus escapes and misses the big kick.  Emerald Frozen finishes at 5:55, however.  I’m guessing they can just call that the Emerald Isle and they’re golden.  Fine TV match.  **1/2  Miz really needs something different to do at this point, though, because he’s going to get stuck in the wrestling equivalent of the Friend Zone and never escape.

Meanwhile, Aksana continues putting the moves on Teddy Long, but Big Johnny and his lawyer interrupt.  So Teddy announces that their office is the men’s room tonight.  Oh, burn.

Kofi Kingston & R-Truth v. Dolph Ziggler & Jack Swagger

Must suck to be the Usos.  WWE is so desperate for tag teams that they throw R-BOOM together on RAW to bolster it, and the Usos still can’t even get off Superstars.  Swagger quickly gets the pump splash on Truth for two, and Ziggler drops the elbow and does situps.  Blind charge misses and Kofi gets the hot tag and runs wild, hitting a high cross on Dolph for two.  It’s BONZO GONZO and Truth takes yet another hard dump to the floor, allowing Ziggler to finish Kofi with the Zig Zag at 2:43.  I think this was actually Ziggler’s first win in something like two months, although I don’t get why you put the new team over the tag champs one night and then job them to another heel team the next night.

Meanwhile, Santino is training with the Cobra, but Heath Slater interrupts and gets spit on.  By the sock.  Yeah.  Luckily, Michael Cole helpfully points out that this was funny.

The Great Khali v. Drew McIntyre

Still not fired, I see.  Khali squashes the shit out of him at 0:27 with the tree slam.  This McIntyre storyline makes no sense.  So Teddy Long, weeks ago, says that he needs to win or he’s fired.  So he loses and loses and loses and loses and loses and loses and loses…and then nothing, he’s still there, and still losing, and now there’s not even any stakes to it, he’s just a guy who loses.  So what was the point?

Meanwhile, Big Show is really quite upset at Cody Rhodes.  They still need to get to Shaq for Wrestlemania, so maybe they’ll go with Show & Shaq v. Cody & Barrett instead?

Big Show v. Mark Henry

Good god, let poor Mark take a month off and heal.  Show hammers him in the corner but misses the knockout punch, and Henry pounds him down to take over.  Mark steps on him and chokes him out on the ropes, laying down some quality trash-talk.  Henry misses a blind charge and Show comes back with clotheslines and the spear, but Cody Rhodes interrupts.  For some reason, Show stops wrestling and stands there staring while Cody shows a video of Show v. Akebono at Wrestlemania 21.  And he turns around into a slam and splash for two.  Henry must have the WORLD’S STRONGEST GROIN if he can bodyslam a guy with his injuries.  Show, however, puts Henry down with the Kassius Ohno punch and that match just stops at 5:00 or so with no winner announced.  What the fuck kind of finish was that?  *1/2

Ezekial Jackson v. David Otunga

As much as they do the fake laughter for dumb stuff, Johnny Ace coming out and doing the Teddy Long dance with no music is legitimately hilarious.  And Zeke cuts a DROP IN PROMO before the match so we know he means business.  Hopefully he lasts longer than 90 seconds this time then.  Otunga pounds away, but Zeke gets a pair of clotheslines in the corner followed by a splash.  Otunga escapes the torture rack by grabbing the ropes, and finishes with the spinebuster at 1:14.  So no, in fact Zeke lost even faster this time.  ½*  I think perhaps Teddy Long should consider upgrading his avatar in this feud.

Meanwhile, CM Punk talks up Teddy Long and hypes the main event tonight.

Daniel Bryan v. CM Punk

We’ve got half an hour left so that’s gotta be a good sign.  Michael Cole goes crazy for a “Twitter War” between Punk and Chris Brown, which is apparently about how Brown wants Hacksaw Duggan and Bret Hart to come back or something.  Hey, how about Punk & Rihanna v. Brown & Eve Torres for Wrestlemania!  They trade headlocks while Cole once again talks about how “#1 trend worldwide” means “most talked about subject on Twitter”, which is completely a lie.  That is totally incorrect and they are pathetic trying to make it sound like it’s true.  We take a break and return with Bryan hurting Punk’s arm and working on it in the corner, but a blind charge misses.  Punk whiffs on a springboard bodyblock, landing right on the arm to hurt it further.  By the way, add “developing story” to my list of annoying Michael Cole-isms.  It joins “building momentum” among many others.  Bryan throws the kicks, but Punk slugs back with forearms until Bryan takes him down by the arm again.  Bryan gets a nice dick heel move, grinding his knee into Punk’s face on the mat, before going to the surfboard hold.  Punk fights out of that with a backbreaker and either blows out his knee in the process or does a spectacular job of faking it.  That was just sloppy.  Apparently he’s fine because he fights back with the high kicks and tries the GTS, but Bryan goes the arm to escape and then exits the ring.  Sheamus tosses him back in and Punk finishes with the high kick at 9:42.  BUT WAIT!  Executive Vice President of Talent Relations and Interim GM of RAW Johnny Ace WILL NOT STAND for this injustice, and the match MUST CONTINUE.  He’s got a point.  So we take a break and return with Bryan getting a rollup and holding the ropes for the pin at 11:32.  BUT WAIT!  Teddy Long continues wrecking a perfectly good match with overbooking bullshit and he also decrees that the match MUST CONTINUE.   Punk hits a tope suicida and back in for a springboard clothesline that gets two.  Back in, Bryan takes over again and gets a dropkick into the corner for two.  Top rope rana is reversed by Punk on the way down for two, and Punk blocks the seated kicks with a rollup for two.  Bryan reverses that into the Lebell Lock, but Punk escapes with the catapult and levels him with the high kick for two.  Punk goes up for the big elbow, but Bryan crotches him and they fight for the superplex attempt.  Punk puts him down twice, but Bryan just won’t die and finally gets his superplex…which Punk immediately turns into a small package for the pin at 17:29.  However, both shoulders were down, so apparently there’s no winner here either.  Long and Ace argue over it, and for some reason Long is endorsing Punk while Ace is endorsing Bryan, which is bizarre because you’d think they’d support the champions of their own show, personal feelings aside.  At least that’s what HHH told us a couple of weeks ago.  Anyway, great match, STUPID ending.  These were some spectacularly bad finishes tonight, although it’s tough to ruin Punk v. Bryan.  ****

The Pulse:

This was basically RAW part 2, and the entire show was god-awful up until the main event saved it, so please do yourself a favor and seek out that match, and feel free to ignore the rest of this crappy show.

 

The SmarK SUPER SMACKDOWN Rant – 02.21.12

The SmarK SUPER SmackDown Rant – 02.21.12

LIVE from somewhere not mentioned.

Your hosts are Michael Cole, Josh Matthews & Booker T.

Daniel Bryan and AJ start us out, as Bryan gloats about main-eventing Wrestlemania.  Although “main event” is a bit of a stretch given he’ll be fourth from the top at best.  He claims to be the real Rocky story, but the Miz interrupts.  Whoa, dig the STAR POWER.  Miz takes credit for Bryan’s development into a star and wants to form a team, but now Sheamus interrupts.  Miz is mortified, but Bryan attacks Sheamus and runs off, leaving Miz to get walloped.

Sheamus v. The Miz

Apparently Teddy Long booked the match during the break.  We join it in progress with Sheamus holding an armbar, and dumping Miz to the apron for the forearms.  Sheamus slingshots in with a shoulderblock for two, but Miz necksnaps him.  Sheamus misses a charge and hits the floor off that, allowing Miz to work the arm for a bit and hit the running corner clothesline.  Double axehandle off the top gets two, and they slug it out, but Sheamus comes back with elbows and his own corner clothesline.  Backbreaker gets two.  Miz gets the neckbreaker for two and sets up for the Finale, but Sheamus escapes and misses the big kick.  Emerald Frozen finishes at 5:55, however.  I’m guessing they can just call that the Emerald Isle and they’re golden.  Fine TV match.  **1/2  Miz really needs something different to do at this point, though, because he’s going to get stuck in the wrestling equivalent of the Friend Zone and never escape.

Meanwhile, Aksana continues putting the moves on Teddy Long, but Big Johnny and his lawyer interrupt.  So Teddy announces that their office is the men’s room tonight.  Oh, burn.

Kofi Kingston & R-Truth v. Dolph Ziggler & Jack Swagger

Must suck to be the Usos.  WWE is so desperate for tag teams that they throw R-BOOM together on RAW to bolster it, and the Usos still can’t even get off Superstars.  Swagger quickly gets the pump splash on Truth for two, and Ziggler drops the elbow and does situps.  Blind charge misses and Kofi gets the hot tag and runs wild, hitting a high cross on Dolph for two.  It’s BONZO GONZO and Truth takes yet another hard dump to the floor, allowing Ziggler to finish Kofi with the Zig Zag at 2:43.  I think this was actually Ziggler’s first win in something like two months, although I don’t get why you put the new team over the tag champs one night and then job them to another heel team the next night.

Meanwhile, Santino is training with the Cobra, but Heath Slater interrupts and gets spit on.  By the sock.  Yeah.  Luckily, Michael Cole helpfully points out that this was funny.

The Great Khali v. Drew McIntyre

Still not fired, I see.  Khali squashes the shit out of him at 0:27 with the tree slam.  This McIntyre storyline makes no sense.  So Teddy Long, weeks ago, says that he needs to win or he’s fired.  So he loses and loses and loses and loses and loses and loses and loses…and then nothing, he’s still there, and still losing, and now there’s not even any stakes to it, he’s just a guy who loses.  So what was the point?

Meanwhile, Big Show is really quite upset at Cody Rhodes.  They still need to get to Shaq for Wrestlemania, so maybe they’ll go with Show & Shaq v. Cody & Barrett instead?

Big Show v. Mark Henry

Good god, let poor Mark take a month off and heal.  Show hammers him in the corner but misses the knockout punch, and Henry pounds him down to take over.  Mark steps on him and chokes him out on the ropes, laying down some quality trash-talk.  Henry misses a blind charge and Show comes back with clotheslines and the spear, but Cody Rhodes interrupts.  For some reason, Show stops wrestling and stands there staring while Cody shows a video of Show v. Akebono at Wrestlemania 21.  And he turns around into a slam and splash for two.  Henry must have the WORLD’S STRONGEST GROIN if he can bodyslam a guy with his injuries.  Show, however, puts Henry down with the Kassius Ohno punch and that match just stops at 5:00 or so with no winner announced.  What the fuck kind of finish was that?  *1/2

Ezekial Jackson v. David Otunga

As much as they do the fake laughter for dumb stuff, Johnny Ace coming out and doing the Teddy Long dance with no music is legitimately hilarious.  And Zeke cuts a DROP IN PROMO before the match so we know he means business.  Hopefully he lasts longer than 90 seconds this time then.  Otunga pounds away, but Zeke gets a pair of clotheslines in the corner followed by a splash.  Otunga escapes the torture rack by grabbing the ropes, and finishes with the spinebuster at 1:14.  So no, in fact Zeke lost even faster this time.  ½*  I think perhaps Teddy Long should consider upgrading his avatar in this feud.

Meanwhile, CM Punk talks up Teddy Long and hypes the main event tonight.

Daniel Bryan v. CM Punk

We’ve got half an hour left so that’s gotta be a good sign.  Michael Cole goes crazy for a “Twitter War” between Punk and Chris Brown, which is apparently about how Brown wants Hacksaw Duggan and Bret Hart to come back or something.  Hey, how about Punk & Rihanna v. Brown & Eve Torres for Wrestlemania!  They trade headlocks while Cole once again talks about how “#1 trend worldwide” means “most talked about subject on Twitter”, which is completely a lie.  That is totally incorrect and they are pathetic trying to make it sound like it’s true.  We take a break and return with Bryan hurting Punk’s arm and working on it in the corner, but a blind charge misses.  Punk whiffs on a springboard bodyblock, landing right on the arm to hurt it further.  By the way, add “developing story” to my list of annoying Michael Cole-isms.  It joins “building momentum” among many others.  Bryan throws the kicks, but Punk slugs back with forearms until Bryan takes him down by the arm again.  Bryan gets a nice dick heel move, grinding his knee into Punk’s face on the mat, before going to the surfboard hold.  Punk fights out of that with a backbreaker and either blows out his knee in the process or does a spectacular job of faking it.  That was just sloppy.  Apparently he’s fine because he fights back with the high kicks and tries the GTS, but Bryan goes the arm to escape and then exits the ring.  Sheamus tosses him back in and Punk finishes with the high kick at 9:42.  BUT WAIT!  Executive Vice President of Talent Relations and Interim GM of RAW Johnny Ace WILL NOT STAND for this injustice, and the match MUST CONTINUE.  He’s got a point.  So we take a break and return with Bryan getting a rollup and holding the ropes for the pin at 11:32.  BUT WAIT!  Teddy Long continues wrecking a perfectly good match with overbooking bullshit and he also decrees that the match MUST CONTINUE.   Punk hits a tope suicida and back in for a springboard clothesline that gets two.  Back in, Bryan takes over again and gets a dropkick into the corner for two.  Top rope rana is reversed by Punk on the way down for two, and Punk blocks the seated kicks with a rollup for two.  Bryan reverses that into the Lebell Lock, but Punk escapes with the catapult and levels him with the high kick for two.  Punk goes up for the big elbow, but Bryan crotches him and they fight for the superplex attempt.  Punk puts him down twice, but Bryan just won’t die and finally gets his superplex…which Punk immediately turns into a small package for the pin at 17:29.  However, both shoulders were down, so apparently there’s no winner here either.  Long and Ace argue over it, and for some reason Long is endorsing Punk while Ace is endorsing Bryan, which is bizarre because you’d think they’d support the champions of their own show, personal feelings aside.  At least that’s what HHH told us a couple of weeks ago.  Anyway, great match, STUPID ending.  These were some spectacularly bad finishes tonight, although it’s tough to ruin Punk v. Bryan.  ****

The Pulse:

This was basically RAW part 2, and the entire show was god-awful up until the main event saved it, so please do yourself a favor and seek out that match, and feel free to ignore the rest of this crappy show.

 

Smackdown – February 21, 2012 (Live Tuesday Show)

Smackdown
Date: February 21, 2012
Location: BMO Harris Bank Center, Rockford, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

Reviewed by Tommy Hall

We’re live tonight which was announced pretty quickly last night. The main event is Bryan vs. Punk II which will likely result in some run ins. Last night we had a good main event where Jericho got the world title shot. Other than half the roster winding up in the hospital, I thought it came off pretty well. These live shows are usually pretty good so hopefully they can continue that trend. Let’s get to it.

Big Show vs. Mark Henry again tonight. Why couldn’t Henry go in the Chamber again?

Here are Bryan and AJ to open the show. He says no one believed him no matter what he’s said but now he’s heading to the main event of Wrestlemania! As for Santino, he was trying to channel Rocky Balboa but Bryan is a role model who beat everyone on Sunday. Bryan says you all want Rocky, so YO AJ! I DID IT!!! The fans want Punk. Bryan talks about how Sunday was his moment but Sheamus ruined it. Well at Mania, Bryan is going to ruin Sheamus’ moment by being victorious.

Bryan keeps talking and here’s…..Miz? He can’t believe Bryan really is champion but Bryan is wrong. Miz believed that he’d become a world champion too and it’s because of his mentoring. He isn’t out here to steal the spotlight or for thanks. He’s here to offer his congratulations. Miz thinks that after Wrestlemania, they should form a tag team. Cue Sheamus to cut him off.

Sheamus congratulates Bryan, but for being a hypocrite. He’s no role model but rather just a coward. Bryan would rather hide behind a skirt than fight like a man. After Wrestlemania, everyone is going to say that Bryan got exactly what he deserved. Miz gets in Sheamus’ face and says that Sheamus should be taken down a notch or two. Sheamus says let the guys with a match at Wrestlemania talk. Bryan slaps Sheamus and runs but Miz jumps Sheamus. Miz is sent to the floor and I think we have our second main event tonight.

Sheamus vs. The Miz

Or we have a match we join in progress after the break. Sheamus is in control and hits the forearms in the ropes to send Miz to the floor. Back in the slingshot shoulder gets two. Miz avoids a charge and Sheamus’ shoulder goes into the post. Single arm DDT gets two. Miz hooks a quick arm hold but Sheamus comes back with his running double axes. Irish Curse gets two and Sheamus doesn’t seem that bothered.

Miz comes back with a Reality Check as Booker won’t quite say if he thinks Sheamus will win the title at the PPV or not. Here comes the Finale but Sheamus throws him out of it. Brogue Kick misses and Sheamus rolls him up for two. That new move that Sheamus has been using (needs a name) gets the pin at 6:00 shown.

Rating: C+. This was another good outing for Sheamus. Building him up by having him beat the entire upper midcard by Mania is fine and he’s beaten Mark Henry and Miz on back to back nights. Not a great match or anything but Sheamus looked strong and it’s not like this loss hurts Miz.

Teddy and Aksana are in the back and their usual stuff is done. Ace and Otunga are here and Teddy says that he has a special office for them. It’s the men’s room. Otunga vs. Jackson again tonight if I understood things right.

R-Truth/Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger

Truth and Swagger start things off. Truth does his gyrating dance and gets taken down by a shoulder block by Jack. Vader Bomb gets two. Off to Ziggler who hooks that cross face chicken wing of his. Ziggler misses his splash and Truth brings in Kofi to speed things up. Kofi keeps selling the injuries from the Chamber. It’s good to see that Dolph is alive after that landing last night. Top rope cross body hits Dolph but Swagger makes the save. Swagger and Truth are knocked to the floor and Vickie slips on the floor. Back in the ring Ziggler pokes Kofi in the eye and the Zig Zag gets the pin at 2:43. So why put them over the champs?

Preview for some SyFy show.

Ron Simmons HOF video.

Santino does some target practice with The Cobra on some plastic cups. Heath Slater comes in and shoves them away. The Cobra spits something at Slater’s eyes and then does it again.

Great Khali vs. Drew McIntyre

Drew is yelling at the commentators before the match. He begs off Khali and then shoves him. Chop, Plunge, 32 seconds.

Clip of the end of the battle royal last night with Show being eliminated because of Cody.

Big Show says Cody is on the top of his list, just like Show is on the top of Henry’s list. Show is going to snap Cody’s neck no matter where he gets his hands on him.

Big Show vs. Mark Henry

Show knocked Henry out on Monday to set this up. Show splashes him in the corner quickly and loads up the right hand but Henry ducks. A clothesline takes Show down and Henry is in early control. Henry yells a lot at Big Show and says this is his house and all that jazz. Show gets a boot up in the corner and some clotheslines to put Henry down. He hits a spear and calls for the chokeslam, but here’s Rhodes.

He says it must not be Wrestlemania if he’s going to chokeslam someone. Cody talks about Show facing Akebono at Wrestlemania and we get a clip from the show. In the middle of this match mind you. By clip I mean a full video package of the match against the sumo guy. Henry pops up and slams Show, followed by a splash for two. The WMD puts Henry out and Show goes after Cody. I guess we call it a countout at about 5:00.

Rating: D. The match was the usual non-PPV showcase from these guys. The video package in the middle stopped things cold and the lack of an ending (could Show really not get a quick pin?) made it even worse. I guess maybe they’re really not going with Big Show vs. Shaq at Mania? It doesn’t seem like it at least. This was pretty strange.

Recap of HHH and Undertaker last night.

Ezekiel Jackson vs. David Otunga

For the dozen of you that demanded the rematch! Lillian screws up a bunch of the entrance for Otunga and Laurinits. Otunga gets in him in a dragon sleeper position and pounds away on the chest but Jackson runs him over with a shoulder. He hits the clotheslines and a splash in the corner, followed by a backbreaker. There’s the Torture Rack but Otunga makes the ropes. Otunga guillotines him on the top and the spinebuster ends this at 1:21.

Otunga poses after the match.

Another preview for the Syfy show.

Here’s ANOTHER video from last night, this time about Eve’s heel turn.

Punk says nothing of note but he’ll beat Bryan tonight.

Daniel Bryan vs. CM Punk

It’s 9:34 when Bryan comes out so this is either going to go very long or there’s something else ending the show. The crowd is very pro-Punk. They go to the mat and exchange a lot of counters. A stalemate takes us to a break. Back with Bryan holding a headlock which Punk escapes pretty quickly. Bryan goes after the arm and Punk sells it perfectly. Bryan kicks him in the chest and punk keeps sitting up.

Punk finally comes back with a suplex and both guys are down. Here comes the comeback via the kicks but his neckbreaker can’t work because of the arm. See, THAT’S a huge difference in selling: you can’t use certain moves because of the injuries. Bryan ducks the high kick and tries to leave, but Sheamus throws him back in and the high kick to the head gets the pin at 10:00.

And never mind as here’s Ace to say keep the match going. Punk takes him down and we take another break. Back with Daniel in control and working over the arm some more. During the break, Punk made fun of Bryan’s celebrations. Bryan rolls up Punk out of nowhere and grabs the rope for a pin at 14:27. Now say it with me: Teddy comes out and says restart it again.

unk kicks him to the floor and hits a suicide dive followed by the springboard clothesline for two. Bryan takes over and hits his kicks, followed by a top rope rana. Punk rolls through into a sunset flip for two. More kicks by Bryan but Punk blocks one. Bryan counters the counter into the LeBell Lock but Punk escapes again. High kick gets two. Punk goes up for the Macho Elbow, only to get crotched. Superplex is countered twice but Bryan finally hits it on the third attempt, all the way from the top. Punk does the old interlock the feet but it’s a double pin at 21:47.

Rating: B. Well you knew this wasn’t going to have a clean winner. I’m glad that it wasn’t because of interference though because that would have been totally predictable. This keeps both guys looking strong and at least does it in a way we haven’t seen a million times in the past year. I didn’t like it as good as their first one but it’s still good.

Post match, Ace and Teddy raise their respective guy’s hands (Teddy for Punk and Ace for Bryan). The bosses get into it and Ace throws his jacket at Teddy, making him leave to end the show with a staredown.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a better show than most they’ve had lately but it felt like a supplement to Raw than its own show. With the Brand Split meaning practically nothing around this time of year, Smackdown gets nothing to work with at all. The main event was good but it was obvious that it was going to have no definitive ending. On Raw the lack of wrestling was ok because it was added by a lot of angles and development. That didn’t happen tonight for the most part, making this a weaker show overall, but still good.

Results
Sheamus b. The Miz – Celtic Cross
Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger b. Kofi Kingston/R-Truth – Zig Zag to Kingston
Great Khali b. Drew McIntyre – Punjabi Plunge
Mark Henry b. Big Show via countout
David Otunga b. Ezekiel Jackson – Spinebuster
CM Punk and Daniel Bryan wrestled to a draw when both were pinned at the same time

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