RAW Rating Falls
This past show drew a 2.7 rating.
Bray Wyatt Article on Forbes.com
New Matches Announced for “Bound for Glory” PPV
The pre-show match on Spike will include a four-way match of Bad Influence vs. BroMans vs. Chavo Guerrero & Hernandez vs. Eric Young & Joseph Park, with the winner facing James Storm & Gunner for the Tag Team Championship later in the show.
The SmarK RAW Rant – 09.30.13 I have to take the blame for the current ratings freefall, given that I’m only watching it the day after on Hulu and not on DVR anymore. My bad. Brought to you this month by BREAST CANCER. It’s certainly a worthy cause, but they really make themselves look scummy by association when they partner with groups like Susan B. Komen. Live from somewhere that is not important enough for them to mention. Like they literally never say where the show is from. Your hosts are Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler & JBL CM Punk joins us to start, and he’s here to talk about predictability. Random note: Punk needs to go on Sesame Street and do his grammar smackdown with Elmo or something. It would be pretty awesome. So anyway, Punk notes that it’s going to be predictable that he’ll destroy Ryback and Axel and pretty soon it’ll just be him and Heyman. This brings out Brad Maddox for some reason, and he thinks that Punk has anger problems. And then Big E Langston also comes out for some reason and attacks Punk, which leads to a scuffle and a match RIGHT NOW. Just as soon as they get the giant speakers out of the ring and take their scheduled commercial break. Hey, speaking of predictability, Punk. CM Punk v. Big E Langston So we are joined in progress with Punk hitting a flying bodypress for two, but he walks into an STO that gets two. The ULTIMATE WARRIOR SPLASH gets two. He totally needs to set that up with a gorilla press. Big E with the half crab, but Punk slugs out of it, only to have Big E clothesline him for two. Punk comes back with a high kick for two and tries the GTS, but E clotheslines him again for two. He tries a second splash, but that one misses and Punk comes back with a neckbreaker. Macho Elbow and he finishes with the GTS at 5:36. Nice to see Punk getting a big win, but man, Langston is just stuck in the wasteland right now. The Ziggler program went NOWHERE and then he got split off from AJ with no resolution to boot. **1/4 Apparently at this point #RiseAboveCancer just HAPPENED to start trending on Twitter, with no intervention from WWE at all. Right. Meanwhile, Randy Orton stops by to creep on the Bellas. Paul Heyman speaks against bullying, in particular that bully CM Punk. Up Next: Los Matadores finally debut. They’re really stretching for worthwhile content in this version of the show. Like they really couldn’t have edited that out? Los Matadores v. Heath Slater & Jinder Mahal So the matadors are now “Diego & Fernando” because apparently we’re fucking idiots who don’t know that it’s just Primo & Epico with half-masks. Oh, and a midget, because everyone loves midgets. But hey, FOR KIDS. Also, I heard all about how great their entrance was, and they CUT THE ENTRANCE. And then they showed the tweets talking about how it was such an awesome entrance! I DON’T FUCKING GET THIS COMPANY. I wonder how much the Komen foundation greased WWE to artificially get “RiseAboveCancer” trending? We get some goofy double-teams from the matadors and then one of them gets caught in the 3MB corner and worked over by Jinder. Slater comes in and gets finished with a double suplex at 4:03. So weeks of buildup and repackaging and it’s El Matador 2013 in a shit match over 3MB. ½* Tito Santana would be ROLLING OVER IN HIS GRAVE. I have just been informed that in fact Tito Santana is not actually dead. Still, I think the point stands. Family Summit: HHH and Stephanie are here to talk business with the Rhodes family. Cole sums things up by noting Dusty was told by Stephanie to “choose which of his jobs gets to keep his son.” Holy cow, now THAT would be a heel move! So HHH sums up what a bunch of failures and selfish jerks that Rhodes family are (Dusty is apparently still bitter about failing outside of Florida thing and the polka dots, which is exactly the kind of smarky, inside humor that means nothing to the common fan). This all sets up Rollins & Reigns v. Cody & Goldust with the sons getting their jobs back if they win, and Dusty losing his job if they lose. The Shield hits the ring and destroys the babyfaces afterwards, because this is RAW in 2013 and babyfaces exist to get destroyed by the heels week after week with no comeuppance or payoff. R-Truth v. Curtis Axel As usual, a win by Truth will put him “back in the hunt” for the title. You know what else would? Winning a series of matches against other competition besides the champion. But that’s just wacky. Plus Axel literally never defends that belt anyway. Truth works on the leg and slugs away in the corner, but Axel puts him down with a cheapshot and gets a dropkick for two. We hit the chinlock, but Truth comes back with a suplex into a stunner for two. And then CM Punk’s music hits and Truth hits his finisher for the pin at 4:23. So the champion loses AGAIN, looks like an idiot, and Truth gets a fluke win. And the match sucked. Good night all around for everyone. ½* Could this actually lead to Axel defending the belt he’s held for like three months? Tune into Nitro to find out! Meanwhile, Paul Heyman announces he’s going to propose to Ryback. OK then. Meanwhile, Big Show is mad as hell and isn’t going to take it anymore. Well that’s a chance for the babyfaces on this show, who normally just take it and take it and take it and take it because STEPHANIE IS THE BOSS. Paul Heyman and Ryback are out to share a touching moment together, bonding over their hatred of bullying and stereotypes like the typical “superstar-advocate relationship”. God bless Uncle Paul. So he proposes an official commitment because he wants Ryback to be a Paul Heyman Guy. Ryback is equally tickled and moved by Heyman’s proposal, and he’s about a million times better in this role than he was before. Sadly, that intolerant bully CM Punk runs out to ruin the beautiful moment, but slips on the barricade and hurts his leg. Heyman goes over to check on him like any decent human being would, and Punk callously attacks them with a kendo stick because he’s a LIAR. He probably hates people with breast cancer, too. Jerk. Meanwhile, the cops come to arrest Big Show because he’s so angry, but Stephanie calls them off and then verbally castrates Show again. His big revenge: Punching a HHH poster and right through the wall. Ironically that’s actual property damage and he really could be arrested for that. The Shield v. Dolph Ziggler & The Usos Ziggler gets a dropkick on Ambrose for two and the Usos double-team Rollins. Even the announcers have to point out that the Usos became #1 contenders but aren’t getting the title shot at the PPV. So why did they go through the trouble of making them #1 contenders again? I know, I know, it’s easier not to ask. We get a bit of a heat segment on an Uso and they quickly come back to clean house as we take a break. But Cole didn’t say “as RAW rolls on”! How will I know not to change the channel now? Back with Reigns holding a chinlock on an Uso, but it’s hot tag Dolph and he gets a neckbreaker on Ambrose. He drops the elbows on Ambrose, but Dean rolls him up for two. Fameasser gets two and it’s BONZO GONZO, and Reigns ends up spearing Ziggler at 12:33. The Usos continue doing yeoman’s work with no payoff for them. **1/2 Funny note: On Hulu, they’ve been showing commercials for the new Obamacare program website at healthcare.gov, but of course a government website probably can’t offer much assistance at the moment. Whoever said that Canada is the nice apartment above the meth lab is a wise person. Main Event Interview: Randy Orton faces off with Daniel Bryan and says “abeyance” about 14 times. Bryan wants that title really badly, so Orton goes after the Bellas (who have apparently turned babyface when I wasn’t watching) and the brawl is on. As usual, Bryan gets his ass kicked, even with Brie out to show her concern. I…don’t care for this Bellas in the main event mix…thing. It can go nowhere good. The Pulse Hey, all the babyfaces get beat up and castrated again, yay. Battleground (aka the soon-to-be record holder for lowest buyrate in modern history) pretty much has to be an indecisive ending that leads to them finally settling this ratings-killing feud at Hell in the Cell, so don’t bank on Bryan getting the belt on Sunday. Plus if ever there was a stipulation match needed to spruce up the show, this is it. But, nothing. For this show in particular, we had 30 minutes of wrestling and an hour of talking. Not a good show.
by Logan Scisco
recaps the Legion of Doom’s legacy and their beat down at the hands of
D-Generation X and the New Age Outlaws on last week’s show.
Cole, and Kevin Kelly are doing commentary and they are taped from Lowell,
Massachusetts. Lowell’s arena is really
small, but I always liked the intimate feel it gave off on television.
comes to the ring in bath robes except for Chyna. Triple H gloats about beating down the Legion
of Doom last week and says that they aren’t happy about the New Age Outlaws
trying to take credit for it. As a
Christmas present, DX takes off their robes and boxers to reveal thongs, which
are censored. Commissioner
Slaughter comes out and says that Shawn Michaels needs to defend the European
title tonight and books him to face Triple H.
Michaels and Triple H argue over that as we head to a commercial break.
the Godwinns, who say that they want a title shot from the New Age Outlaws.
Contest: Thrasher (w/Mosh) defeats Henry
Godwinn (w/Phineas Godwinn) by disqualification after Phineas interferes at
the count after a flying body press and the Godwinns beat down the Headbangers
and whip them with belts before WWF officials break things up. The Headbangers have really taken a beating
lately from all kinds of teams.
recaps Dude Love’s issues with the New Age Outlaws.
promo from the boiler room and warns the New Age Outlaws that beatings are
to get your copy of WWF the Music:
Volume 2. It costs $20 for CD and
$15 for the tape (plus $4 shipping & handling)!
Austin tossing the Intercontinental title off of a bridge last week is
shown. Austin coming out at the end of
last week’s show and giving Santa Claus imposter a Stone Cold Stunner is also
played as a “RAW exclusive.”
of D-Generation X’s locker room overhears Shawn Michaels and Triple H arguing.
the next Madison Square Garden card. In
a steel cage match, Shawn Michaels & Triple H will face Steve Austin &
the Undertaker. Also, the Rock defends the
Intercontinental title against Ken Shamrock, the New Age Outlaws defend the tag
team titles against the Legion of Doom, and Vader faces Goldust.
Match: The Rock (Intercontinental
Champion w/The Nation of Domination) wrestles The Undertaker to a no contest at
Lowell, as he was booed out of the building in February when he upset Triple H
for his first Intercontinental title win.
The Nation use their numbers to put the Rock in control, with Kama Mustafa
doing much of the work to take vengeance for his failed efforts against the
Undertaker in 1992 and 1995. The Rock
throws everything that he has against the Undertaker, but the Undertaker
rebounds with a chokeslam and Tombstone before the lights go off and Kane and
Paul Bearer come to the ring. These two
showcased some good chemistry, although that never manifested in their future
bouts when the Rock rose to the top of the card. The Rock’s selling was also really good in
this match. Rating: **½
insult the Undertaker’s parents and Kane unleashes a flurry of strikes against
him when he tries to shut Bearer up. The
Undertaker grabs Kane by the throat, but still refuses to fight back.
two, Ross and Jim Cornette take over announcing duties.
championship match between Shawn Michaels and Triple H is scheduled to happen
next, but Owen Hart does a hit and run attack on Triple H during his entrance.
1-900-RUMBLE-98 to register yourself in the Steve Austin pickup truck
contest! It’ll cost you $1.99 or you can
send a postcard to Devon, Pennsylvania.
Outlaws are shown carefully venturing into the bowels of the arena and they
beat someone up, but it isn’t Mankind.
(w/Sable) beats Scott Taylor with a TKO at 2:25:
match, but gets caught with a TKO out of nowhere and maintains his jobber
Mero gives Taylor a low blow and sets him up for another TKO, but Tom Brandi
breaks that up. Mero appears to hurt his
knee going into the guardrail and Sable takes advantage by taking off her
reindeer outfit and she waves to the crowd in a Miss Claus outfit.
1-900-737-4WWF to find out the new superstar that has signed with the WWF with
this week, new Bret Hart rumors, and why Shawn Michaels had a good time in
announce team that if Shawn Michaels wants to face him then he’s going to get
all that he can handle. He tells Chyna
that he has everything to prove by beating Michaels tonight.
Jackal) defeats 8-Ball with a sidewalk slam at 2:38:
revolution is at hand and hyping his intellect.
8-Ball gets Kurrgan down to one knee, but the Jackal holds his foot when
he runs the ropes and that leads to the finish.
the Truth Commission beats up 8-Ball, but Skull runs in with a 2×4 and forces
them to flee.
search for Mankind continues, but they don’t find anything.
Kane-Undertaker confrontation is this week’s 1-800-COLLECT Rewind segment.
beats D-Lo Brown (w/Faarooq & Kama Mustafa) via submission to the anklelock
D-Lo gets in very little offense as Shamrock rolls through him with ease and
gets the submission victory.
the Rock comes out and runs down the UFC and offers Shamrock an Intercontinental title
shot at the Royal Rumble. He calls off
the Nation from attacking Shamrock and says that all of those things are
Christmas gifts. Faarooq does not appear
to be happy at having his power usurped.
Champion Shawn Michaels says he will take care of Triple H later tonight and
then tells Chyna that he is going to have to kick Triple H around to prove a
Outlaws are in the third part of their search and this time they find Mankind
behind some boxes and he sings Christmas carols as he beats them down. However, numbers overwhelm him and they lock
him in a freezer.
come out and Goldust is dressed as a Christmas tree. Goldust reads “The Night Before Christmas” as
Santa Claus comes out and tosses candy into the audience. Goldust doesn’t appreciate the interruption,
but continues reading until Santa gets into the ring and gives Goldust a stiff
shot with his bag of goodies. Santa, of
course, turns out to be Vader. Call me
crazy, but Goldust’s craziness and Vader’s stiff attack made this highly
Championship Match: Triple H pins “The
Heartbreak Kid” Shawn Michaels (Champion) after a lockup to win the title at
Michaels lays down for Triple H, who pushes him down after a lockup and then
runs a few laps between the ropes before doing a slow big cover and getting the
win. Genius booking from a storyline
perspective and I remember hating DX even more after this as a fan.
Shawn Michaels mocks his “Lost Smile” promo, which was cut in Lowell back in
February, and DX mocks Commissioner Slaughter, who is in the entrance. Slaughter just smiles and says that Triple H
will defend the title next week against Owen Hart.
this show was a letdown, but the New Age Outlaws search for Mankind, the
Undertaker-Kane segment, and the Goldust-Vader interaction were entertaining segments. The rumor for why the European title switch happened with Triple H on this show is
that Michaels refused to job the title to Owen Hart. In terms of the Royal Rumble, the show setup
another title match between the Rock and Ken Shamrock as well. Due to the entertaining angles and the
strength of the Rock-Undertaker match, I’ll give this show a thumbs up, but it
almost ended up in neutral territory.
> Hey Scott,
> Tony from the Shining Wizards. Hope all is well. Anyway, I don't know how many of your loyal would be interested, but tonight we're attempting to do a live call-in show, and to help us conduct the experiment we are going to be joined by the original diva herself, Sunny. We will be taking calls and questions on Facebook. I don't know how long we will have her, but we are scheduled for a 7:10pm edt start time. The show will be available on our website www.shiningwizards.com and on the ustream app. Would appreciate the cheap plug, and while on out site, make sure to check out your pic rocking our shirt.
My daughter also enjoys her Wizards shirt, thanks.
Good luck with the call-in. It should prove interesting.
Hey Scott,Everyone has already discussed the technical problems with Death Before Dishonor XI, but here is my live report from someone unfamiliar with the ROH product, comparing to WWE.
Life Hacks. We all have em’, little tricks or gimmicks we have to get a ‘one-up’ on life, and seeing as how we’re all friends here, I think it’s time we share.
What ways do you get a leg up on life? Do you have a rewards program that gives you mad cash back? Some secret coupon scam that yields you free frequent flier miles? Are you a part of a pyramid scheme where you’re on the tippy top / big wide bottom? Do Share!
I have one that I really like, and it’s kind of stupid. I use Bing Rewards like it talked about my mother. Essentially Bing is paying me to use their search engine. Not a lot, but if you’re going to be googling something, might as well run it through Bing first, earn a few points, and in a couple of months you’ll be able to get a gift card or a red box rental or whatever. I figure if someone wants to buy my search, they can have it. Worse case scenario you bounce back to Google for proper results. Yes, that is my referral link above.
Otherwise, switching to E-cigerettes has saved me a fuck ton of money, and I can smoke indoors / sleep at night without coughing, which is boss as all hell. I’ve also found that once you get over the set-up gobbly-gook, Net10 wireless is a great no-contract phone provider if you consider yourself tech savy and able to deal with somewhat incompetent tech support. I pay 50 bucks a month for a gig of data and unlimited everything else, for my crappy iPhone 3Gs.
Blog Otter Award: Jobber123 for facing the the horrors of Human Resources ‘sensitivity’ training.