Blog fodder

Scott, scouring the web trying to pass time on the overnight shift.  Figured id get your opinion on some completely random stuff.
1) If you had to bet your house on: The Rock appearing on wwe tv again but not wrestling, never appearing on wwe tv again, coming back at some point and doing a short run that includes a WM match, which do you pick (excluding HOF tv appearances.) 2) Where in the blue hell is Big Johnny in this Bryan/HHH angle?  Hed be the perfect HHH lackey. 3) If Hogan decides he doesnt want to turn NwO, what happens?  Doesn't he position himself as the top opposing face and eventually go over the entire NwO, thus killing it in less then a year?  4) Rank these in order of ability to work: Austin, Rock, Cena, Brock.

1

.  Safest bet would be appearing but not wrestling.  The injury from last WM was apparently really bad and I can't see insurance companies letting him continue doing that with $20 million paydays on the line.  But I can't see Rock staying away from WWE forever either. 
2.  He got fired ages ago and replaced by HHH and his cronies in real life.  I think he's still working as a road agent for house shows, but Johnny is very much a product of the previous regime and was gonna be one of the first to go when HHH took over.  

3.  Yeah, I couldn't see Hogan as a babyface opposing the nWo working out for them very well.  

4.  Austin could do anything pre-injury and almost as much post-injury.  Brock is a freak of nature but within a limited style so he gets #2.  Rock was great with someone greater than him but didn't tend to carry weaker guys to strong matches so he's #3.  Cena always delivers in the big matches and can carry guys within his one style of match, but he's a total product of the WWE system and he'd be lost if forced to do things like they did in the old days.  Which isn't to say he's not great in own way but he can't touch any of the other three.  

My Amazon Review of The Hardcore Truth

(I was inspired to actually write an Amazon review for once and decided to post it to the blog to hopefully drum up more business for Bob and co-author Ross Williams)
Bob Holly's "The Hardcore Truth" is a fantastic wrestling book, probably one of the best I've read. Not only amazing to read the behind-the-scenes drama of WWE from someone who was there the whole time, but someone who held no illusions about his position in the company. There's no stories about Bob Holly heroically diving in to perform CPR on Owen Hart or influencing the giant news stories that happened around him, just a guy who lived his life like his wrestling career: Head down, mouth closed, roll with the punches and give as good as he gets. It ends up being kind of a sad story because of how matter-of-factly Bob states that he gave everything to the business and it destroyed his body, but at the same time Bob holds no regrets and ended up set for life, so it's hard to feel too sad for him when he's clearly very happy with how his life ended up. Most importantly, I came out of this with a lot of respect for someone who had always been a fringe player, and made me appreciate what he gave to the business just a little more than I had before. This is a great read and I highly recommend it for all wrestling fans who yearn to hear more about the bygone Attitude era from someone who saw it all and has no dog in the fight or personal biases. Except for Steve Blackman, apparently, because Bob LOVES that guy.

Focused booking

Hey Scott, 

Is this the most focused WWE booking has been in ages, or is it just me?

Orton vs Bryan is the single big title feud, but from it we get involvement from The Shield and Wade Barrett on one side, and Ziggler/Henry/Big Show/Miz on the other. 
Elsewhere, Punk's feud with Heyman has been building nicely for a while, there are several over tag teams, and even the Divas have something to do! 

I'm not saying that Curtis Axel's setting the world on fire, or that Cesaro couldn't be better used, but for once I'm looking forward to post-Summerslam/pre-Royal Rumble WWE and the solid, logical booking is a big part of that. I also realise we're building to a HHH/Mcmahon thing at WMXXX, but you can't have everything.

Curious to hear your thoughts.

Thanks, Ioan

It seems more focused because Vince and HHH are both directly involved and thus that's what they're paying attention to.  Vince is not gonna involve himself in something that's midcard fodder, so it's in his best interest to make sure the storyline is well-constructed and delivering ratings, which this one is.  

NWA-TNA Weekly PPV #58

 

August 20, 2003

Your hosts are Don West and Mike Tenay

The show starts with Raven and The Gathering, including the
returning CM Punk, brawling with the New Church, which has now replaced Brian
Lee with Sinn. Raven calls out the mystery man then the lights go off and when
they come back on, Raven is bleeding and is now being hung by the New Church. They
are doing a tremendous job with Raven as a face.

Scott Hudson is backstage talking with Jerry Lynn. After
Lynn talks about how he has never been a primadonna, he says is losing money
because of Callis. Shortly after that, Callis interrupts and informs him that
he will only fine him $5,000 then has Red-Shirt security remove him from the
building.
 

 

Ultimate X Match for
the X Division Title

Michael Shane vs.
Frankie Kazarian vs. Chris Sabin (Champion)

Sabin bails and the other two men chase him but end up
running into each other. They start brawling for a bit then Sabin and Kazarian
wind up in the ring. Sabin hits an enziguiri and tries to traverse across the
wires but Shane pulls him down and hits a neckbreaker. He climbs then Kazarian
pulls him down and hits a neckbreaker. Sabin roughs up Kazarian but Kazarian
puts him on his shoulders and Shane, who is on the wires, takes him off with a
rana. Kazarian tosses Sabin to the floor and Shane and Kazarian climb and meet
in the middle but Sabin takes them down with a springboard dropkick. Sabin
beats both men with a chair until Kazarian kicks it into his face. Shane is
busted open on the floor then after Kazarian sets up the chair, Sabin puts him
through it with a catatonic. Sabin goes after Shane who is now pouring out
blood from his forehead. Sabin goes back to climb but Shane runs in and takes
him down with a chairshot. The belt drops down as all three men are on the mat.
The bell rings as they stop the match in order to re-hang the belt. All three
men are now brawling on the floor as the ring crew hangs the belt. Sabin saves
a botched spot as he as Shane in a fireman’s carry and Kazarian overshoots a
sunset flip and Sabin holds on to Shane and drops him down as he hits Kazarian
with a basement dropkick. Kazarian then drives Sabin’s head into the mat in a
Canadian Destroyer of sorts. He climbs across the cable but Shane holds him up.
Kazarian drops but Shane climbs and tries a rana but Sabin powerbombs him off
in an insane spot that pops the crowd. Shane is covered in blood as Sabin climbs
up again. Kazarian blows a springboard move then climbs up and spears Sabin off
the cable and the belt falls yet again. They stop the match to hang it back up.
Sabin and Kazarian meet in the middle and end up taking each other off. Shane
is outside and on the floor after getting shoved off the top rope. Sabin and Kazarian
climb back up and Kazarian kicks him off but Shane comes speeding over and
grabs the belt as the fans go crazy (13:27) ****.

Thoughts: A fantastic match. Even the belt falling down
twice couldn’t ruin this as all three men busted their ass. They also got over
the new concept, which was a great thing for the promotion as they are trying
to find their identity. They are trying to push Shane, which is fine, but they
need to do more than constantly mention that Shawn Michaels is his cousin if
they want to get him over.

 

In the parking lot, Scott Hudson interviews Sonny Siaki and
Trinity, who show up in a hearse. Two men take out a casket that represents the
career of D’Lo Brown. This is going nowhere.

 

Double Bullrope Match

Simon Diamond &
Johnny Swinger w/Glen Gilbertti vs. America’s Most Wanted

West lets us know that Dusty Rhodes is not here tonight. They
start by brawling outside of the ring. In the ring, AMW hit Swinger with the
Hart Attack but Diamond breaks up the pinfall. Harris hits Diamond with the
catatonic but Gilbertti runs in and hit him with the Chartbuster. Diamond rolls
on top but only gets two then starts firing away. Swinger is on the floor with
Storm and lifts up the mat and suplexes him on the concrete. AMW are getting
choked out as the camera goes back and forth between each man. Storm breaks up
a double team move with a superkick on Diamond then fires away. AMW takes the
advantage. Harris and Diamond spill outside and rams Harris into the post.
Diamond then accidentally hits Swinger in the head with a chair and storm rolls
him up but that only gets two. That looked brutal. As Diamond is on the apron,
Harris runs through the ropes and spears him off. AMW sets up Swinger for the
Death Sentence but Gilbertti knocks of Harris and slides the belt into Swinger
and he hits Storm behind the ref’s back for the win (8:27) ***1/4. After the
match, they beat on AMW until security clears the ring.

Thoughts: These teams continue to have really good matches
and the feud remains hot. AMW was really one of the best teams on the planet at
this point.

 

Scott Hudson is with the Gathering. Julio is pissed at the
New Church for attacking Raven and challenges them to a tag match. Shane
Douglas interrupts but Julio attacks him then the New Church run out and they
start brawling.

 

Sonny Siaki and Trinity are in the ring. Trinity is wearing
a dress that barely covers her tits. Hey, anything to distract you from her
face is a good thing. They wheel out the casket that represents D’Lo’s career
as Siaki delivers a eulogy. This segment bombs as Siaki drones on then places
flowers on top of the casket but D’Lo pops up and attacks Siaki. He ends up
tossing both Siaki and Trinity in the casket and stands on top as the crowd
chants for D’Lo. This was the loudest pop for D’Lo since he debuted in the company.

 

Hudson is with Christoher Daniels and Joe Legend. They run
down their opponents for tonight, Jeff Jarrett and Erik Watts. Not much
interesting took place here.

 

Slash & Sinn
w/James Mitchell vs. Julio Dinero & CM Punk w/Alexis Laree

Both teams brawl to start. Punk takes out Sinn with a tope
then Slash gets double-teamed in the ring. The New Church takes control and
puts Punk in the Tree of Woe on the ropes then continue to hit him with
double-team moves. Slash gets two off a vertical suplex. Punk fights back but
gets double-teamed in the corner. Slash and Punk collide in the ring and both
men are down but Punk makes the tag to Julio. He runs wild until Sinn catches
him with a super kick. Punk goes up for a rana on Sinn but Slash throws powder
in his face and Sinn takes him down with a super powerbomb but that only gets
two. Julio puts Sinn on his shoulders and Punk takes him down with a
blockbuster and that gets two. Mtichell tries to interfere but Alexis crotches
him and hits Slash with a tornado DDT. Julio hits Slash with a full nelson slam
but Shane Douglas runs in and hits Julio with a chain as the ref checks on
Mitchell, then places Slash on top and he gets the win (7:07) **1/2. After the
match, Douglas and the New Church continue their assault and end up cutting
some of Alexis’s hair.

Thoughts: The match was all action. Sinn looked pretty bad
but I do not think he was any worse than Lee, the guy he replaced. It’s weird
seeing Punk be in a stable with Raven considering that they were feuding in RoH
at the time. Slash was a really underrated worker and I wondered would have happened
with his career if he didn’t team up with Jamie Dundee, who fucked up all their
chances at a push while they were wrestling ass PG-13.

 

Mike Tenay does a sit-down interview with Erik Watts. He
says that they don’t play politics in here, unlike the “people up North.” He
then explains the difference between NWA and TNA in a convoluted manner that
only makes sense to him and the half-wits who came up with this interview. He
said that TNA runs the promotion and NWA runs the wrestling and this somehow resulted
in Don Callis coming in the company. He is then asked about his relation with
Jarrett and goes back to saying how he was held down by other promotions. This
drags on some more and finishes eventually. A complete waste of time and one of
the most pointless interviews that I have ever heard.

 

We are shown a video of AJ Styles and Vince Russo on
vacation. The production values are shit and it seems like they at a Days Inn
somewhere in a terrible neighborhood. AJ tells Watts that he will be there next
week and removes his bathrobe and does a flip into the pool.

 

Joe Legend &
Christopher Daniels vs. Erik Watts & Jeff Jarrett

Both teams start brawling on the floor. Watts leaps the rail
and takes out Legend with a crossbody and they brawl in the crowd. In the ring,
Daniels beats on Jarrett for a bit. Jarrett comes back with a flapjack and a
dropkick but Legend comes in and Jarrett gets double-teamed. Legend nails
Jarrett with a Yakuza kick then a clothesline. Daniels tags and puts Jarrett in
a front facelock but Jarrett escapes and fights off both men and makes the tag
but the ref did not see it and the heels go back to double-teaming Jarrett. He
fights back again and tags and Watts goes wild and actually looks decent. He
powerbmobs Legend on te turnbuckle and chokeslams Daniels but Legend breaks
that up. Watts goes up top and hits a missile mule kick on Legend! Jarrett hits
Daniels with the spinebuster and that gets two. Daniels comes back with an STO
but misses the BME. Jarrett goes for the Stroke but Legend breaks that up with
a super kick and that gets two. The match breaks down then Jarrett rolls up
Legend for the win (8:18) ***. After the match, Jarrett gets assaulted but both
securities run out then they start fighting. Jerry Lynn runs in and fights with
Red-Shirt Security but gets dragged away. Then, two guys in Freddy and Jason
masks run in and handcuff Watts to the railing and Jason hits Jarrett with a
Styles Clash then reveals himself as AJ Styles then Freddy as Russo, who yells
at Jarrett that he told him he gets no title shots and no gauntlet tonight.
They set up a table as Russo calls Jarrett a piece of shit, and Jarrett gets
triple-powerbombed. After that, they put Jarrett in the hearse

Thoughts: This is probably the best match ever that involved
Erik Watts. He actually looked good in the ring too. The post-match angle with
AJ and Russo was fine, even if I was obvious that those two were wearing the
masks

 

A video airs that says “He is Coming” with Roddy Piper’s
music playing.

 

Dusty Rhodes promises to give Glen Gilbertti the bionic
elbow next week in their Bullrope Match. This was a taped promo.

 

West runs down next week’s show:

Gilbertti vs. Rhodes

Siaki vs. Brown

AJ Styles vs. winner of the Gauntlet for the Heavyweight
Title

Michael Shane defends his title.

 

Gauntlet to Determine
the Number One Contender for the Heavyweight Title

Wrestlers enter at 90 second intervals, with the last two
men facing off in a singles match. Eliminations occur by either pinfall
submission, or being thrown over the top rope. #1 is Kid Kash and #2 Ron
Killings. They have a nice sequence of moves until Christopher Daniels enters
at #3. He and Killings go at it as Kash watches from the corner. Killings gets
double-teamed until BG James enters at #4. They 3LK work iron claws and
continue to beat on Kash and Daniels. #5 is Sonny Siaki, who apparently escaped
from the casket. He works on BG as nothing else of note happens. Jeff Jarrett’s
music goes off at #6 but he isn’t here any longer. Siaki grabs the mic and says
he will win the gauntlet. No matter how hard they try, Siaki will ever get over
as a star. Not much happens until D’Lo enters at #7 and he cleans house. Mad
Mikey then comes out and goes to the announcers table and rants about not being
in the gauntlet then Siaki gets eliminated by D’Lo off camera. At least we get
a replay. Abyss enters at #8 as Mikey continues to rant and harass Tenay. Abyss
catches Killings and tosses him to the floor. He then eliminates BG with a big
boot. #9 is the Sandman as Abyss eliminated Kid Kash. Mad Mkiey goes in the
ring but Abyss tosses him too. Sandman tosses Abyss a beer then spits it in his
face and hits him with a kendo stick a few times but runs into the Black Hole
Slam. Legend enters at #10 and kicks Sandman in the face. Abyss hits D’Lo with
the Black Hole Slam and has been booked like a huge monster and looks really
good out there. #11 is Konnan and he goes after Legend and shows fire. Tenay
lets us know that there are just two slots left as the Sandman gets eliminated.
#12 is Shane Douglas and he goes after everyone. Konnan eliminates Legend as
Tenay says that Raven was taking to the hospital and not here at the moment to
take the last spot. D’Lo and Konnan double-team Douglas as Raven does in fact
show up as the last entrant, covered in blood and a bandage over his forehead. Douglas
looks terrified in the corner. Abyss grabs Raven but he turns a chokeslam
attempt into a DDT then he eliminates Abyss by tossing him over the top rope.
Daniels eliminates Konnan and D’Lo but Raven eliminated him with a catapult
over the top rope. Douglas and Raven are the last two left and they both spill
over the top rope. Raven takes Douglas off the apron with a jawbreaker but
Douglas hits him with a chair. He covers but that only gets two. Douglas brings
the chair in the ring but Raven sends him into it with a drop toehold and both
men are down. Douglas gets a few nearfalls 
and goes for the belly-to-belly but Raven headbutts out of that and hits
the Raven Effect for the win (22:18) ***1/2. The crowd popped big for that
finish.

Thoughts:  A great
segment overall. This was one of the better battle royal matches that I have
seen. The built up Abyss like a monster too but more importantly they put over
the challenger strong.

 

Final Thoughts: One
of the best shows TNA has produced at this point. Their main feuds are clicking
and all the matches were solid too. TNA has strung together a few really good
shows in a row and are gaining a bit of momentum. Next week’s main event for
the title between Raven and Styles should be excellent.

Random ass idea

I was thinking about hosting a rap battle on the blog. Basically just start a thread where everyone just lays out freestyles and whoever gets the most upvotes wins. If I did that would you be willing to offer the winner a repost, rant, or Scott Sez of their choice? Lemme know what u think, I know that isn't normally your kinda thing but it could be fun.

Christian:  "Tomko, give me a beat!"
Tomko:  "No."

Hogan, Vince and a Cement Mixer

Two scenarios for you:

1.  On the way to meet Vince McMahon for the first time ever, Hogan gets run over by a cement mixer.

2.  On the way to meet Hulk Hogan for the first time ever, Vince gets run over by a cement mixer.

How does each scenario affect the survivor's career and the wrestling industry as a whole?

1

.  He would no-sell the mixer and pop up, deliver three punches to the truck, and drop the big leg on it to win his title back, brother!  Or rather, Vince would try out a series of guys on top like JYD, Snuka, Kerry Von Erich and probably eventually buy Lex Luger from Crockett and run with him on top.  Business would probably be fine but not explode on MTV or create national headlines with Wrestlemania and such.
2.  Vince would flip the double bird to St. Peter on the way to the afterlife, and the wrestling business as we know it would be dead by 1988 when Crockett spent himself out of business and there was no national template for WCW to follow.  Probably it would just be a bunch of indy promotions constantly searching for money marks and the carrot of a national TV deal.  Vince was really FAR more important to the business as a whole than Hogan was.  

Why Miz?

Dear Scott,

Big fan and all that jazz.  I was recently thinking about Miz's WWE title reign and the main event of WrestleMania 27 and how weird the whole deal was.  I understand they were setting up Rock/Cena.  But considering that the role of Miz could've gone to anybody, why did it go to Miz?  Right gay in the right time or did WWE brass really think Miz was going to be an A-Lister?

P.S. 20/20 hindsight and all, how perfect would it have been if Punk had been the heel champ against Cena?

I assume you mean right GUY at the right time.  Although that would explain a lot…
But yes, they legitimately thought Miz was going to be an A-lister who could get them big mainstream cred and do talk shows with the belt and stuff.  To say that it failed spectacularly would be an understatement, but at least they tried.  

Greats by almost Greats

Interested to see what matches (primarily singles) people would say are the best/must-sees for people on that second, maybe third tier of great technical wrestler. We all know what Savage, Flair, Michaels matches to seek out, but curious about the following guys.

-Christian

The Orton series in 2011 produced some top-level stuff, but Christian as a singles guy has never really been a tippy top worker.  The match with Jericho at WM20 was a near-showstealer also.  


-Dean Malenko

Almost any of his Cruiserweight title matches in WCW, but the Jericho match at Slamboree 98 was pretty much the peak of his run.  I also have a soft spot for the match with Scotty 2 Hotty at Backlash 2000.  Plus there's reams of awesome Japan stuff in the Super Junior tournaments.  


-Barry Windham

Ric Flair, 1987, pick any of them. 


-Raven

His shot at the NWA title with Jeff Jarrett was amazingly built and one of the best things TNA ever did, and then of course there's a million decent brawls in ECW, including the Raven-Richards v. Pitbulls match that was the only ECW match to get ***** from me.  


-Vader

Lots of WCW Sting matches in the 90s, lots of awesome "beat the shit out of each other" matches with guys like Stan Hansen in Japan, plus a crazy tag match with him and Bigelow against the Steiners that was on pretty much every comp tape of the 90s.  Wanna see Vader take a Frankensteiner?  There ya go.  


-RVD

I've always been partial to the John Cena match, and the Lynn matches have grown on me over the years.  

NXT on tv

hey scott, longtime fan etc

wanted to know your opinion on the matter of NXT: should the show be aired on US/Canadian TV? should Smackdown rather be used as an introduction platform for the "TV ready" NXT talent? or is the "hidden North American existence" working well as it is atm (since Shield, Big E, Wyatt Family must be considered as succesful debuts)? best wishes

Well really, NXT was supposed to be that show on SyFy, and it got cancelled because that's exactly what the network didn't want.  NXT is fine "hidden" like it is, because guys can work out their goofy gimmicks and silly names and then come in fresh when they're ready.  

Man Movie Encyclopedia – Die Hard

With the recent love for Die Hard in the previous thread, I got a couple requests for the MME article on it. Now we can talk about men’s fashion and industrialization all day.

Year: 1988
Director:
John McTiernan
Star:
Bruce Willis
“40 Stories Of Sheer Adventure!”

Really, what you’ve got here is the Holy Grail of action films. A film so revolutionary that it created a sub-genre, launching millions of different action films that were described as “Die Hard on a _____”. The funny thing is, the plot is so absolutely simply, it’s shocking no one came up with it before.

John McClane is a New York cop who’s marriage is on the rocks, due to his wife not being happy with just being a homemaker. Pssh, just like a woman. So, he’s heading to LA in order to try and patch things up, because God-forbid Holly do it! Once he touches down in Los Angeles, he gets himself a limo with a talkative driver named Argyle. He instantly wins my respect by listening to Run DMC. The place John is dropped off at is The Nakatomi Plaza building where Holly’s Christmas party is going down. Since John is unsure whether or not he’s going to get busy with the Mrs, Argyle offers to hang out until he knows the deal for sure.

Now, while John is heading up stairs, playing meet n greet, a team of German terrorists are infiltrating the building in order to load up on the $640 million dollars worth of bearer bonds. The leader of the group is Hans Gruber, a smooth talking bad-ass who loves to wear a good suit, and isn’t afraid to put a bullet in someone should it seem fit. He’s got along with him many a thug, as well as a computer/electronics savant who’s here to break into the major vault.

As Holly & John are seemingly on the mend, gunfire erupts out in the banquet room as the bad-guys make their presence known. John takes the split second he has to duck out into the stairwell, and try to mount a plan. If it were me, my awesome plan would have been to run down the stairs screaming a combination of rape & fire.

One of John’s first plans is to pull the fire alarm and get some attention to this situation. Naturally, the baddies are on top of this, which should have been obvious because Hans is wearing a suit. You wear a suit, you know the score. So, Hans tells one of the fellow bad guys to check on the situation, and gets his neck broken for his troubles. That’s why I’ve never done anything my bosses have ever told me to do. I’m not getting my neck broken.

It’s now known by Hans and the group that there’s something afoot, due to John writing “Now I have a machine gun, ho ho ho” on the dead guys sweat shirt, and sending him down the elevator. Meanwhile, a simple beat cop known best to the World as Carl Winslow of Family Matters’ fame, has been called to check out the situation at Nakatomi Plaza. For his troubles, he gets his car shredded with a few machine guns, and ran off an embankment. After calling in the troops, he’s able to communicate with John who snatched a radio he nabbed from a dead guy.

So, the troops come in, and try to work this situation out. By work the situation out, I mean get knee capped, and have their LAPD tank blown to hell with a rocket launcher. John answers back with thee ol’ C4 & computer monitor trick. I’m sure in this day and age he’d tie it to an iPhone or something. Ellis, perhaps the greatest representation of the 80’s yuppie, does a few snorts of coke, and tries to work out a deal with Hans & the gang. I never knew just what the hell kind of deal he was gonna strike. Although his 10,000 watt smile could damn near soften the heart of any terrorist. Except Hans, he blows his brains out because John won’t give up the detonators he boosted from one of Hans’ henchmen.

The FBI finally arrives, and they zap the power to the building, which is exactly what Hans wanted. Now that things are on their way, they split up to check on things and make sure shit is going down. Hans checks out the C4 on the roof, and happens to run into John. Naturally. John assumes that everyone is a terrorist, and doesn’t trust Bill Clay for a minute. That proves to be fruitful, as Hans tries to shoot John, only to realize the gun has no bullets. Before anything else can go down, the rest of the crew show up and shoot the hell out of the office, layering the floor in shards of glass. Which will prove to be detrimental to John’s shoeless feet. The gang manages to get the detonators back, and leave John to bleed.

They finally break through the safe they’ve been trying to crack, and start loading up the loot. Meanwhile, John figures out that they’re going to blow the roof when all the hostages are up there. That way the FBI thinks everyone has died, and will take a while to try and track them down. He runs up stairs, and gets the group to head the hell back downstairs. Of course, since there’s women, they won’t listen unless John is firing a freaking machine gun. Now that it’s all clear, he gets to jumping off the roof with a firehose tied around his waist. If it were me, they’d probably only have a garden hose, I’d only be able to jump about half a foot, and also get rubber burn. And I don’t think there’s much lotion in Nakatomi Plaza.

Well, it’s game time, the showdown between Hans & John McClane. Since John is the smartest motherfucker alive, he has a gun taped to his back, and blows some Germans away. I have a ton of back hair, and I can tell you how that plan would have gone. The tape would have adhered to my back hair so strongly that when I pulled on the gun I would have given myself a front flip.


Man Movie Encyclopedia Tally:

1-Liners:
3
Guys Beat Up:
4
Guys Killed:
21
Swear Words:
98
Boobs:
4
Explosions:
5
Slow-Motion Scenes:
10
Car Chases:
None
Chases on Foot:
2
Broken Bones:
1
Fight at a Motel?
No
Guy Get Girl?
Yes
Guy Smoke Cigarettes?
Yes

1-Liners:

Tony: …there are rules for policemen.
John McClane: Yeah, that’s what my Captain keeps telling me.

Marco:
Next time you have a chance to kill someone, don’t hesitate.
[McClane pumps about 6 shots into him]
John McClane: Thanks for the advice, pal.

[after some cowboy talk, John pulls the gun from his back and shoots Hans]
John McClane: Happy trails, Hans.

Man-Facts:

The original poster release didn’t feature Bruce’s image, because the studio thought it’d hurt the box-office, since he wasn’t an action star.

When John falls down the elevator shaft, you see that he misses the first air vent. That was actually a mistake by the stuntman, as he didn’t grab it in time, but they dug it so they left it in.

Bruce was the 7th choice for John McClane. 7th, motherfucker. The line went like this;
Arnold, then Stallone, then Burt Reynolds, then Richard Gere, then Harrison Ford, then Mel Gibson. I don’t get it, how could you read this script and think “feh”?

This was originally meant to be a sequel to Commando.

The centerfold that John sees in the elevator shaft is that of Playboy’s Miss November, 1987, Pamela Stein.

The reaction that Alan Rickman has when being dropped is genuine. He was held 21ft above an airbag, and the stuntman let go at 2, not 3.

The Director, John McTiernan decided to change Hans & the gang from political terrorist, to dudes just out for a score. He felt it would be easier for people to enjoy a simple caper film.

Box-Office Business:
Created on a budget of $28 million dollars, Die Hard was released on July 15th, 1988 to 1,276 theaters. It opened up at #3, earning a weekend total of $7,105,514. It ended up earning a grand total of $140,767,956

C’mon Bennet, Let’s Party!:
Seriously, there’s nothing I could say that would do this film justice. It’s an absolute masterpiece. It’s not only one of the Top 3 action films of all time, it’s one of the Top 10 films of all time. There’s absolutely nobody who can’t enjoy this. The plot was so simple, but executed so goddamn well. There isn’t one gripe about this film, as it’s flawless from beginning to end. John McClane is one of the burliest movie characters of all time. Hands down.

5 Head-Butts Out Of 5.

My editor Steven Ferrari didn’t edit this, but I’d still like to make mention of how I met him, which was when my brother-in-law, and good friend’s wife died, and he asked myself, and Steven to help him raise his 3 daughters. Have mercy. 

Hope you guys dug the article. For those that did and want more, you can read this very entry, plus the rest of the original Die Hard trilogy in my book The Man Movie Encyclopedia, available at amazon for 99cents. 28 classics are covered, from First Blood, to Robocop, Commando, and Predator. It’s been endorsed by Scott Keith, and New York Times Best-Selling Author, Maddox. Hell, even Fuj gave it a thumbs up.

For more Die Hard fun with Caliber, check out 12 Reasons Why Die Hard Is The Best Christmas Film Ever.

Any requests, questions, QOTDs, send’em on over to [email protected]