The SmarK RAW Supershow Rant – 02.27.12

The SmarK RAW Supershow Rant – 02.27.12

Live from Portland, OR

Your hosts are Michael Cole & Jerry Lawler

But first, to the mailbag!

Bruce Mitchell had a great column today, and I think he hit the nail right on the head with his finish:

 “Rock takes a main event spot away from someone who works full-time?

That’s the most interesting one, that no one in the locker room looks at Dwayne Johnson and goes, Who cares whether he hangs out with us and tells stories about the old days with Stone Cold? Every time he comes around I make more money. A lot more money.

That’s what WWE Superstars used to say during the glory days of Hulkamania, when working a show with Hulk Hogan, who took time off months at a time and when there would hide in his own locker room, then leave at intermission.

Then it hit me. Maybe none of today’s Superstars made more money than they would have without The Rock breaking the WrestleMania buyrate open last year. Maybe McMahon just took the overage. Hell, when house show grosses dropped, McMahon cut expenses across the board and the Superstars didn’t seem to notice.

Maybe Rock raising grosses and ratings for WWE actually hurts the WWE rank and file, just like John Cena and the locker room say.”

 If he’s right, then what The Rock is doing for the boys is not analogous to what Hogan did at all.

That’s…a pretty valid point, actually.

CM Punk v. Daniel Bryan

Part THREE!  But first, Chris Jericho comes out in place of D-Bry to say his peace to CM Punk.  And now Jericho is also talking about being part of the dying breed of older wrestlers, much like HHH and Undertaker last week.  Punk points out that Bret Hart was calling himself the best years before Jericho came along, and Jericho possibly plagiarized being Canadian from him.  They go back and forth about who’s the best…and why the heck is Santino randomly standing down at ringside by the announce table?  Anyway, Punk thinks it might be eating at Jericho that he was never The Man when he was World champion, and now Punk is swimming with sharks instead of dancing with stars.  Jericho clarifies that the only reason he came back was to beat Punk and embarrass him at Wrestlemania.  Punk thinks Jericho’s jacket is embarrassing enough and yeah, they’ll beat up on each other at Wrestlemania.  Now this is what we were waiting for.  Oh, and after all that, there’s still the match.

Bryan attacks before they can even get the speakers out of the ring, but Punk dumps him and we take a break.  Back with the champions exchanging shots in the corner before Punk gets a crossbody for two.  Big Johnny and Teddy Long are doing commentary, which finally explains why Santino is standing around down there – backup for Teddy.  Back in the ring, Bryan throws kicks, but Punk gets his own for two.  He backdrops Bryan out of the ring while the commentary becomes increasingly distracted from the match.  They fight on the floor and we take another break.  Back with Bryan missing a blind charge so that Punk can make the comeback with the running knee and Macho Elbow.  Punk gets distracted by Otunga and we get the double KO, as it turns into a donnybrook at ringside.  Bryan walks out of the match, but Sheamus throws him back in for the GTS, at which point Ace calls for the DQ at 12:23.  And then Jericho lays out Punk on the way to the back while the GMs fight in the ring.  Match itself was a huge letdown after the first two thanks to all the extracurricular crap, but it got three different programs some airtime leading into Wrestlemania, so that’s pretty damn effective for this company.  **1/2

And now, a video package about last year’s HHH v. Undertaker match.

Kelly Kelly v. Nikki Bella

It’s a vicious brawl to start, but Nikki bulldogs her for two.  Kelly comes back with the spinning headscissors and an alleged bulldog, then reverses a rollup for the pin at 1:29.  ¼*  You’d think after two people had wrestled each other 18 million times it might be decent, but no.

John Cena v. The Miz

Cena tosses Miz around to start and goes for the FU right away, but Miz escapes with his goofy neckbreaker for two.  Kneelift gets two.  Cena makes a mini-comeback, but Miz gets the DDT for two.  Corner clothesline and he goes up, but Cena comes back with the FIVE MOVES OF DOOM to finish clean at 4:00.  Sucks to be Miz these days.  **

WWE tag titles:  Primo & Epico v. R-Truth & Kofi Kingston v. Dolph Ziggler & Jack Swagger

Well at least the oddball booking last week makes more sense now.  Kofi hits both Dolph and Primo with monkey flips and Truth gets two off it.  Everyone quickly brawls to the floor and we take a break.  Back with Zig-Swag beating on Truth in the corner, and Primo gets two.  Truth fights off the heels with an impressive combination Downward spiral and DDT on Dolph and Primo and it’s hot tag Kofi.  We get a double boomdrop on Swagger and Epico, but Dolph breaks it up with a Zig Zag that gives Swagger two.  Primo gets the backstabber on Swagger, however, and Epico steals the pin at 8:14 to retain.  They really need to get the US title off Swagger, it’s worse than useless on him.  And before the champions can even celebrate, Kane comes out and destroys everyone.  You just can’t get any kind of decent rhythm going in a triple threat tag match like this.  **

Meanwhile, Teddy and Johnny argue about rumors and who’s the horse’s ass.

Meanwhile, it’s yet another video package, this time about the Cena-Eve storyline from last week.  This brings out Eve, who cuts a stupid promo about how men should blame themselves for falling for her act.  And that leads to a backstage confrontation with Kelly Kelly.  Why couldn’t any of this been cut out, especially given how rushed other segments on this show were?

Big Show & Sheamus v. Cody Rhodes & Mark Henry

But first, Cody gives us a video of Show losing to Floyd Mayweather.  Cody quickly walks out and Sheamus finishes Mark Henry with the Brogue Kick at 1:00.  That was weird.  They must be extremely pressed for time.

And now, finally the Rock has come back to Portland.  He talks about people in the back hating on him for leaving (which draws a “Fruity Pebbles” chant from the crowd) and how John Cena actually has his cell phone number and could call him anytime he wants.  So he talks about how he too was booed unmercifully when he was a young babyface starting out, and how no one fought for people like himself and Randy Savage and Steve Austin and Roddy Piper because THEY WERE MEN.  Fuck yeah.  And while Cena fights for “them” (the whiners in the back), Rock fights for “them” (the fans).  Rock gets a little too into the Twitter thing and then has fun leading the crowd in anti-Cena chants.  Another funny line as Rock busts on Cena changing from jean shorts to camo shorts as his big innovation.  This finally brings out Cena to break up the lovefest.  He notes that while Rock is entertaining, Dwayne Johnson is an egotistical jerk who doesn’t care about WWE.  And has promo notes on his wrist.  Ouch.  And then he leaves with a curt “Carry on, continue trending.”  That’s pretty awesome, actually.  Rock seems legitimately pissed about the notes on the wrist thing and he’s kind of flustered before he gets his groove back to end the promo.  Oh yeah, I’m buying this show.  Sign me the fuck up right now.

The Pulse

Huh, three main programs where the basic gist is that the combatants wish to do bodily harm to each other to prove that they are in fact the best.  Funny how that would produce the best buildup to Wrestlemania in years whereas stupid comedy would not.  The show itself might be meh this week, but they have convinced me to part with my $60 many times over already, so everything else is just gravy.

 

The SmarK RAW Supershow Rant – 02.27.12

The SmarK RAW Supershow Rant – 02.27.12

Live from Portland, OR

Your hosts are Michael Cole & Jerry Lawler

But first, to the mailbag!

Bruce Mitchell had a great column today, and I think he hit the nail right on the head with his finish:

 “Rock takes a main event spot away from someone who works full-time?

That’s the most interesting one, that no one in the locker room looks at Dwayne Johnson and goes, Who cares whether he hangs out with us and tells stories about the old days with Stone Cold? Every time he comes around I make more money. A lot more money.

That’s what WWE Superstars used to say during the glory days of Hulkamania, when working a show with Hulk Hogan, who took time off months at a time and when there would hide in his own locker room, then leave at intermission.

Then it hit me. Maybe none of today’s Superstars made more money than they would have without The Rock breaking the WrestleMania buyrate open last year. Maybe McMahon just took the overage. Hell, when house show grosses dropped, McMahon cut expenses across the board and the Superstars didn’t seem to notice.

Maybe Rock raising grosses and ratings for WWE actually hurts the WWE rank and file, just like John Cena and the locker room say.”

 If he’s right, then what The Rock is doing for the boys is not analogous to what Hogan did at all.

That’s…a pretty valid point, actually.

CM Punk v. Daniel Bryan

Part THREE!  But first, Chris Jericho comes out in place of D-Bry to say his peace to CM Punk.  And now Jericho is also talking about being part of the dying breed of older wrestlers, much like HHH and Undertaker last week.  Punk points out that Bret Hart was calling himself the best years before Jericho came along, and Jericho possibly plagiarized being Canadian from him.  They go back and forth about who’s the best…and why the heck is Santino randomly standing down at ringside by the announce table?  Anyway, Punk thinks it might be eating at Jericho that he was never The Man when he was World champion, and now Punk is swimming with sharks instead of dancing with stars.  Jericho clarifies that the only reason he came back was to beat Punk and embarrass him at Wrestlemania.  Punk thinks Jericho’s jacket is embarrassing enough and yeah, they’ll beat up on each other at Wrestlemania.  Now this is what we were waiting for.  Oh, and after all that, there’s still the match.

Bryan attacks before they can even get the speakers out of the ring, but Punk dumps him and we take a break.  Back with the champions exchanging shots in the corner before Punk gets a crossbody for two.  Big Johnny and Teddy Long are doing commentary, which finally explains why Santino is standing around down there – backup for Teddy.  Back in the ring, Bryan throws kicks, but Punk gets his own for two.  He backdrops Bryan out of the ring while the commentary becomes increasingly distracted from the match.  They fight on the floor and we take another break.  Back with Bryan missing a blind charge so that Punk can make the comeback with the running knee and Macho Elbow.  Punk gets distracted by Otunga and we get the double KO, as it turns into a donnybrook at ringside.  Bryan walks out of the match, but Sheamus throws him back in for the GTS, at which point Ace calls for the DQ at 12:23.  And then Jericho lays out Punk on the way to the back while the GMs fight in the ring.  Match itself was a huge letdown after the first two thanks to all the extracurricular crap, but it got three different programs some airtime leading into Wrestlemania, so that’s pretty damn effective for this company.  **1/2

And now, a video package about last year’s HHH v. Undertaker match.

Kelly Kelly v. Nikki Bella

It’s a vicious brawl to start, but Nikki bulldogs her for two.  Kelly comes back with the spinning headscissors and an alleged bulldog, then reverses a rollup for the pin at 1:29.  ¼*  You’d think after two people had wrestled each other 18 million times it might be decent, but no.

John Cena v. The Miz

Cena tosses Miz around to start and goes for the FU right away, but Miz escapes with his goofy neckbreaker for two.  Kneelift gets two.  Cena makes a mini-comeback, but Miz gets the DDT for two.  Corner clothesline and he goes up, but Cena comes back with the FIVE MOVES OF DOOM to finish clean at 4:00.  Sucks to be Miz these days.  **

WWE tag titles:  Primo & Epico v. R-Truth & Kofi Kingston v. Dolph Ziggler & Jack Swagger

Well at least the oddball booking last week makes more sense now.  Kofi hits both Dolph and Primo with monkey flips and Truth gets two off it.  Everyone quickly brawls to the floor and we take a break.  Back with Zig-Swag beating on Truth in the corner, and Primo gets two.  Truth fights off the heels with an impressive combination Downward spiral and DDT on Dolph and Primo and it’s hot tag Kofi.  We get a double boomdrop on Swagger and Epico, but Dolph breaks it up with a Zig Zag that gives Swagger two.  Primo gets the backstabber on Swagger, however, and Epico steals the pin at 8:14 to retain.  They really need to get the US title off Swagger, it’s worse than useless on him.  And before the champions can even celebrate, Kane comes out and destroys everyone.  You just can’t get any kind of decent rhythm going in a triple threat tag match like this.  **

Meanwhile, Teddy and Johnny argue about rumors and who’s the horse’s ass.

Meanwhile, it’s yet another video package, this time about the Cena-Eve storyline from last week.  This brings out Eve, who cuts a stupid promo about how men should blame themselves for falling for her act.  And that leads to a backstage confrontation with Kelly Kelly.  Why couldn’t any of this been cut out, especially given how rushed other segments on this show were?

Big Show & Sheamus v. Cody Rhodes & Mark Henry

But first, Cody gives us a video of Show losing to Floyd Mayweather.  Cody quickly walks out and Sheamus finishes Mark Henry with the Brogue Kick at 1:00.  That was weird.  They must be extremely pressed for time.

And now, finally the Rock has come back to Portland.  He talks about people in the back hating on him for leaving (which draws a “Fruity Pebbles” chant from the crowd) and how John Cena actually has his cell phone number and could call him anytime he wants.  So he talks about how he too was booed unmercifully when he was a young babyface starting out, and how no one fought for people like himself and Randy Savage and Steve Austin and Roddy Piper because THEY WERE MEN.  Fuck yeah.  And while Cena fights for “them” (the whiners in the back), Rock fights for “them” (the fans).  Rock gets a little too into the Twitter thing and then has fun leading the crowd in anti-Cena chants.  Another funny line as Rock busts on Cena changing from jean shorts to camo shorts as his big innovation.  This finally brings out Cena to break up the lovefest.  He notes that while Rock is entertaining, Dwayne Johnson is an egotistical jerk who doesn’t care about WWE.  And has promo notes on his wrist.  Ouch.  And then he leaves with a curt “Carry on, continue trending.”  That’s pretty awesome, actually.  Rock seems legitimately pissed about the notes on the wrist thing and he’s kind of flustered before he gets his groove back to end the promo.  Oh yeah, I’m buying this show.  Sign me the fuck up right now.

The Pulse

Huh, three main programs where the basic gist is that the combatants wish to do bodily harm to each other to prove that they are in fact the best.  Funny how that would produce the best buildup to Wrestlemania in years whereas stupid comedy would not.  The show itself might be meh this week, but they have convinced me to part with my $60 many times over already, so everything else is just gravy.

 

The SmarK RAW Supershow Rant – 02.27.12

The SmarK RAW Supershow Rant – 02.27.12

Live from Portland, OR

Your hosts are Michael Cole & Jerry Lawler

But first, to the mailbag!

Bruce Mitchell had a great column today, and I think he hit the nail right on the head with his finish:

 “Rock takes a main event spot away from someone who works full-time?

That’s the most interesting one, that no one in the locker room looks at Dwayne Johnson and goes, Who cares whether he hangs out with us and tells stories about the old days with Stone Cold? Every time he comes around I make more money. A lot more money.

That’s what WWE Superstars used to say during the glory days of Hulkamania, when working a show with Hulk Hogan, who took time off months at a time and when there would hide in his own locker room, then leave at intermission.

Then it hit me. Maybe none of today’s Superstars made more money than they would have without The Rock breaking the WrestleMania buyrate open last year. Maybe McMahon just took the overage. Hell, when house show grosses dropped, McMahon cut expenses across the board and the Superstars didn’t seem to notice.

Maybe Rock raising grosses and ratings for WWE actually hurts the WWE rank and file, just like John Cena and the locker room say.”

 If he’s right, then what The Rock is doing for the boys is not analogous to what Hogan did at all.

That’s…a pretty valid point, actually.

CM Punk v. Daniel Bryan

Part THREE!  But first, Chris Jericho comes out in place of D-Bry to say his peace to CM Punk.  And now Jericho is also talking about being part of the dying breed of older wrestlers, much like HHH and Undertaker last week.  Punk points out that Bret Hart was calling himself the best years before Jericho came along, and Jericho possibly plagiarized being Canadian from him.  They go back and forth about who’s the best…and why the heck is Santino randomly standing down at ringside by the announce table?  Anyway, Punk thinks it might be eating at Jericho that he was never The Man when he was World champion, and now Punk is swimming with sharks instead of dancing with stars.  Jericho clarifies that the only reason he came back was to beat Punk and embarrass him at Wrestlemania.  Punk thinks Jericho’s jacket is embarrassing enough and yeah, they’ll beat up on each other at Wrestlemania.  Now this is what we were waiting for.  Oh, and after all that, there’s still the match.

Bryan attacks before they can even get the speakers out of the ring, but Punk dumps him and we take a break.  Back with the champions exchanging shots in the corner before Punk gets a crossbody for two.  Big Johnny and Teddy Long are doing commentary, which finally explains why Santino is standing around down there – backup for Teddy.  Back in the ring, Bryan throws kicks, but Punk gets his own for two.  He backdrops Bryan out of the ring while the commentary becomes increasingly distracted from the match.  They fight on the floor and we take another break.  Back with Bryan missing a blind charge so that Punk can make the comeback with the running knee and Macho Elbow.  Punk gets distracted by Otunga and we get the double KO, as it turns into a donnybrook at ringside.  Bryan walks out of the match, but Sheamus throws him back in for the GTS, at which point Ace calls for the DQ at 12:23.  And then Jericho lays out Punk on the way to the back while the GMs fight in the ring.  Match itself was a huge letdown after the first two thanks to all the extracurricular crap, but it got three different programs some airtime leading into Wrestlemania, so that’s pretty damn effective for this company.  **1/2

And now, a video package about last year’s HHH v. Undertaker match.

Kelly Kelly v. Nikki Bella

It’s a vicious brawl to start, but Nikki bulldogs her for two.  Kelly comes back with the spinning headscissors and an alleged bulldog, then reverses a rollup for the pin at 1:29.  ¼*  You’d think after two people had wrestled each other 18 million times it might be decent, but no.

John Cena v. The Miz

Cena tosses Miz around to start and goes for the FU right away, but Miz escapes with his goofy neckbreaker for two.  Kneelift gets two.  Cena makes a mini-comeback, but Miz gets the DDT for two.  Corner clothesline and he goes up, but Cena comes back with the FIVE MOVES OF DOOM to finish clean at 4:00.  Sucks to be Miz these days.  **

WWE tag titles:  Primo & Epico v. R-Truth & Kofi Kingston v. Dolph Ziggler & Jack Swagger

Well at least the oddball booking last week makes more sense now.  Kofi hits both Dolph and Primo with monkey flips and Truth gets two off it.  Everyone quickly brawls to the floor and we take a break.  Back with Zig-Swag beating on Truth in the corner, and Primo gets two.  Truth fights off the heels with an impressive combination Downward spiral and DDT on Dolph and Primo and it’s hot tag Kofi.  We get a double boomdrop on Swagger and Epico, but Dolph breaks it up with a Zig Zag that gives Swagger two.  Primo gets the backstabber on Swagger, however, and Epico steals the pin at 8:14 to retain.  They really need to get the US title off Swagger, it’s worse than useless on him.  And before the champions can even celebrate, Kane comes out and destroys everyone.  You just can’t get any kind of decent rhythm going in a triple threat tag match like this.  **

Meanwhile, Teddy and Johnny argue about rumors and who’s the horse’s ass.

Meanwhile, it’s yet another video package, this time about the Cena-Eve storyline from last week.  This brings out Eve, who cuts a stupid promo about how men should blame themselves for falling for her act.  And that leads to a backstage confrontation with Kelly Kelly.  Why couldn’t any of this been cut out, especially given how rushed other segments on this show were?

Big Show & Sheamus v. Cody Rhodes & Mark Henry

But first, Cody gives us a video of Show losing to Floyd Mayweather.  Cody quickly walks out and Sheamus finishes Mark Henry with the Brogue Kick at 1:00.  That was weird.  They must be extremely pressed for time.

And now, finally the Rock has come back to Portland.  He talks about people in the back hating on him for leaving (which draws a “Fruity Pebbles” chant from the crowd) and how John Cena actually has his cell phone number and could call him anytime he wants.  So he talks about how he too was booed unmercifully when he was a young babyface starting out, and how no one fought for people like himself and Randy Savage and Steve Austin and Roddy Piper because THEY WERE MEN.  Fuck yeah.  And while Cena fights for “them” (the whiners in the back), Rock fights for “them” (the fans).  Rock gets a little too into the Twitter thing and then has fun leading the crowd in anti-Cena chants.  Another funny line as Rock busts on Cena changing from jean shorts to camo shorts as his big innovation.  This finally brings out Cena to break up the lovefest.  He notes that while Rock is entertaining, Dwayne Johnson is an egotistical jerk who doesn’t care about WWE.  And has promo notes on his wrist.  Ouch.  And then he leaves with a curt “Carry on, continue trending.”  That’s pretty awesome, actually.  Rock seems legitimately pissed about the notes on the wrist thing and he’s kind of flustered before he gets his groove back to end the promo.  Oh yeah, I’m buying this show.  Sign me the fuck up right now.

The Pulse

Huh, three main programs where the basic gist is that the combatants wish to do bodily harm to each other to prove that they are in fact the best.  Funny how that would produce the best buildup to Wrestlemania in years whereas stupid comedy would not.  The show itself might be meh this week, but they have convinced me to part with my $60 many times over already, so everything else is just gravy.

 

The SmarK RAW Supershow Rant – 02.27.12

The SmarK RAW Supershow Rant – 02.27.12

Live from Portland, OR

Your hosts are Michael Cole & Jerry Lawler

But first, to the mailbag!

Bruce Mitchell had a great column today, and I think he hit the nail right on the head with his finish:

 “Rock takes a main event spot away from someone who works full-time?

That’s the most interesting one, that no one in the locker room looks at Dwayne Johnson and goes, Who cares whether he hangs out with us and tells stories about the old days with Stone Cold? Every time he comes around I make more money. A lot more money.

That’s what WWE Superstars used to say during the glory days of Hulkamania, when working a show with Hulk Hogan, who took time off months at a time and when there would hide in his own locker room, then leave at intermission.

Then it hit me. Maybe none of today’s Superstars made more money than they would have without The Rock breaking the WrestleMania buyrate open last year. Maybe McMahon just took the overage. Hell, when house show grosses dropped, McMahon cut expenses across the board and the Superstars didn’t seem to notice.

Maybe Rock raising grosses and ratings for WWE actually hurts the WWE rank and file, just like John Cena and the locker room say.”

 If he’s right, then what The Rock is doing for the boys is not analogous to what Hogan did at all.

That’s…a pretty valid point, actually.

CM Punk v. Daniel Bryan

Part THREE!  But first, Chris Jericho comes out in place of D-Bry to say his peace to CM Punk.  And now Jericho is also talking about being part of the dying breed of older wrestlers, much like HHH and Undertaker last week.  Punk points out that Bret Hart was calling himself the best years before Jericho came along, and Jericho possibly plagiarized being Canadian from him.  They go back and forth about who’s the best…and why the heck is Santino randomly standing down at ringside by the announce table?  Anyway, Punk thinks it might be eating at Jericho that he was never The Man when he was World champion, and now Punk is swimming with sharks instead of dancing with stars.  Jericho clarifies that the only reason he came back was to beat Punk and embarrass him at Wrestlemania.  Punk thinks Jericho’s jacket is embarrassing enough and yeah, they’ll beat up on each other at Wrestlemania.  Now this is what we were waiting for.  Oh, and after all that, there’s still the match.

Bryan attacks before they can even get the speakers out of the ring, but Punk dumps him and we take a break.  Back with the champions exchanging shots in the corner before Punk gets a crossbody for two.  Big Johnny and Teddy Long are doing commentary, which finally explains why Santino is standing around down there – backup for Teddy.  Back in the ring, Bryan throws kicks, but Punk gets his own for two.  He backdrops Bryan out of the ring while the commentary becomes increasingly distracted from the match.  They fight on the floor and we take another break.  Back with Bryan missing a blind charge so that Punk can make the comeback with the running knee and Macho Elbow.  Punk gets distracted by Otunga and we get the double KO, as it turns into a donnybrook at ringside.  Bryan walks out of the match, but Sheamus throws him back in for the GTS, at which point Ace calls for the DQ at 12:23.  And then Jericho lays out Punk on the way to the back while the GMs fight in the ring.  Match itself was a huge letdown after the first two thanks to all the extracurricular crap, but it got three different programs some airtime leading into Wrestlemania, so that’s pretty damn effective for this company.  **1/2

And now, a video package about last year’s HHH v. Undertaker match.

Kelly Kelly v. Nikki Bella

It’s a vicious brawl to start, but Nikki bulldogs her for two.  Kelly comes back with the spinning headscissors and an alleged bulldog, then reverses a rollup for the pin at 1:29.  ¼*  You’d think after two people had wrestled each other 18 million times it might be decent, but no.

John Cena v. The Miz

Cena tosses Miz around to start and goes for the FU right away, but Miz escapes with his goofy neckbreaker for two.  Kneelift gets two.  Cena makes a mini-comeback, but Miz gets the DDT for two.  Corner clothesline and he goes up, but Cena comes back with the FIVE MOVES OF DOOM to finish clean at 4:00.  Sucks to be Miz these days.  **

WWE tag titles:  Primo & Epico v. R-Truth & Kofi Kingston v. Dolph Ziggler & Jack Swagger

Well at least the oddball booking last week makes more sense now.  Kofi hits both Dolph and Primo with monkey flips and Truth gets two off it.  Everyone quickly brawls to the floor and we take a break.  Back with Zig-Swag beating on Truth in the corner, and Primo gets two.  Truth fights off the heels with an impressive combination Downward spiral and DDT on Dolph and Primo and it’s hot tag Kofi.  We get a double boomdrop on Swagger and Epico, but Dolph breaks it up with a Zig Zag that gives Swagger two.  Primo gets the backstabber on Swagger, however, and Epico steals the pin at 8:14 to retain.  They really need to get the US title off Swagger, it’s worse than useless on him.  And before the champions can even celebrate, Kane comes out and destroys everyone.  You just can’t get any kind of decent rhythm going in a triple threat tag match like this.  **

Meanwhile, Teddy and Johnny argue about rumors and who’s the horse’s ass.

Meanwhile, it’s yet another video package, this time about the Cena-Eve storyline from last week.  This brings out Eve, who cuts a stupid promo about how men should blame themselves for falling for her act.  And that leads to a backstage confrontation with Kelly Kelly.  Why couldn’t any of this been cut out, especially given how rushed other segments on this show were?

Big Show & Sheamus v. Cody Rhodes & Mark Henry

But first, Cody gives us a video of Show losing to Floyd Mayweather.  Cody quickly walks out and Sheamus finishes Mark Henry with the Brogue Kick at 1:00.  That was weird.  They must be extremely pressed for time.

And now, finally the Rock has come back to Portland.  He talks about people in the back hating on him for leaving (which draws a “Fruity Pebbles” chant from the crowd) and how John Cena actually has his cell phone number and could call him anytime he wants.  So he talks about how he too was booed unmercifully when he was a young babyface starting out, and how no one fought for people like himself and Randy Savage and Steve Austin and Roddy Piper because THEY WERE MEN.  Fuck yeah.  And while Cena fights for “them” (the whiners in the back), Rock fights for “them” (the fans).  Rock gets a little too into the Twitter thing and then has fun leading the crowd in anti-Cena chants.  Another funny line as Rock busts on Cena changing from jean shorts to camo shorts as his big innovation.  This finally brings out Cena to break up the lovefest.  He notes that while Rock is entertaining, Dwayne Johnson is an egotistical jerk who doesn’t care about WWE.  And has promo notes on his wrist.  Ouch.  And then he leaves with a curt “Carry on, continue trending.”  That’s pretty awesome, actually.  Rock seems legitimately pissed about the notes on the wrist thing and he’s kind of flustered before he gets his groove back to end the promo.  Oh yeah, I’m buying this show.  Sign me the fuck up right now.

The Pulse

Huh, three main programs where the basic gist is that the combatants wish to do bodily harm to each other to prove that they are in fact the best.  Funny how that would produce the best buildup to Wrestlemania in years whereas stupid comedy would not.  The show itself might be meh this week, but they have convinced me to part with my $60 many times over already, so everything else is just gravy.

 

Can’t Stop The Rock

Two rock related questions:
1.  My friends and I have been debating the Rock lately.  One point of contention is that I claim he main-evented 5 wrestlemania’s in a row, my friend claims only 3.  WM 15-17 are obvious, but at 18 his match was clearly the most important (since he and hogan are on the poster) and even Jericho and HHH admit it should have been last.  WM 19, while the Austin-Rock match wasn’t quite as blow-away the main event as Rock-Hogan, Jericho refers to it as the main event on the Austin DVD and and JR says the only reason it didn’t go last was because nobody was sure about Austin’s health after the previous night.  So what say you, did he main event 3 in a row, or 5?

Clearly the main event of 18 was Hogan v. Rock, but 19 was either Hogan v. Vince or Angle v. Lesnar depending on your point of view.  Rock v. Austin was a distant third either way, so that would be four Wrestlemanias in a row by my watch. 

2.  I’ve heard for years about how losing at a certain show derailed a wrestler’s career or gave them a choker label (like, oh, lex luger?).  Yet the Rock lost ALL THE TIME.  He lost at WM 15.  He lost at WM 17.  He lost at WM 16 (allowing Hunter to be the first heel to retain at WM).  He only won his first belts because McMahon screwed Foley, then because he played an audio clip of foley quitting, then because Big Show interfered.  In fact, he’s never won a belt at WM.  He only retained at 14 because Shamrock wouldn’t stop beating him up (though the image of him holding up the belt from a stretcher was awesome).  My point is, Rock lost multiple times, yet it never slowed him down at all.  So, from this should I ascertain that maybe booking wasn’t the only thing that held other wrestlers back, or was the Rock just that much more awesome than everyone else?

Rock was just that awesome because you could beat him like a drum and all he had to do was cut a promo on RAW the next night to instantly regain all of his heat.  Most others are not blessed with that kind of talent.  Plus people believed in the Rock and bought him as a main eventer and World champion even after he lost, whereas Luger came off as much more fake. 

Bonus question:
3.  You’ve mentioned, and others have too, that Triple H/Taker doesn’t need to be at WM this year, but isn’t that the whole point?  If it’s not at WM, then it’s not for the streak, and it’s just two old guys fighting.  Don’t get me wrong, this WM looks stacked, but if they’re going to do this match, isn’t the the only time they can (given that I’m not sure Taker will still be able to walk in a year?  Though he could probably regrow his hair by then)?

My point wasn’t really that it didn’t need to be at Wrestlemania, but more that the build is so awesome that it seems like a waste not to use it on a B-show instead and thus boost the buyrate of, say, Extreme Rules from 150,000 to 400,000 or more.  Wrestlemania probably isn’t going to make much more money based on that match, but the other shows could use the help.  I understand that it won’t happen that way, of course. 

Can’t Stop The Rock

Two rock related questions:
1.  My friends and I have been debating the Rock lately.  One point of contention is that I claim he main-evented 5 wrestlemania’s in a row, my friend claims only 3.  WM 15-17 are obvious, but at 18 his match was clearly the most important (since he and hogan are on the poster) and even Jericho and HHH admit it should have been last.  WM 19, while the Austin-Rock match wasn’t quite as blow-away the main event as Rock-Hogan, Jericho refers to it as the main event on the Austin DVD and and JR says the only reason it didn’t go last was because nobody was sure about Austin’s health after the previous night.  So what say you, did he main event 3 in a row, or 5?

Clearly the main event of 18 was Hogan v. Rock, but 19 was either Hogan v. Vince or Angle v. Lesnar depending on your point of view.  Rock v. Austin was a distant third either way, so that would be four Wrestlemanias in a row by my watch. 

2.  I’ve heard for years about how losing at a certain show derailed a wrestler’s career or gave them a choker label (like, oh, lex luger?).  Yet the Rock lost ALL THE TIME.  He lost at WM 15.  He lost at WM 17.  He lost at WM 16 (allowing Hunter to be the first heel to retain at WM).  He only won his first belts because McMahon screwed Foley, then because he played an audio clip of foley quitting, then because Big Show interfered.  In fact, he’s never won a belt at WM.  He only retained at 14 because Shamrock wouldn’t stop beating him up (though the image of him holding up the belt from a stretcher was awesome).  My point is, Rock lost multiple times, yet it never slowed him down at all.  So, from this should I ascertain that maybe booking wasn’t the only thing that held other wrestlers back, or was the Rock just that much more awesome than everyone else?

Rock was just that awesome because you could beat him like a drum and all he had to do was cut a promo on RAW the next night to instantly regain all of his heat.  Most others are not blessed with that kind of talent.  Plus people believed in the Rock and bought him as a main eventer and World champion even after he lost, whereas Luger came off as much more fake. 

Bonus question:
3.  You’ve mentioned, and others have too, that Triple H/Taker doesn’t need to be at WM this year, but isn’t that the whole point?  If it’s not at WM, then it’s not for the streak, and it’s just two old guys fighting.  Don’t get me wrong, this WM looks stacked, but if they’re going to do this match, isn’t the the only time they can (given that I’m not sure Taker will still be able to walk in a year?  Though he could probably regrow his hair by then)?

My point wasn’t really that it didn’t need to be at Wrestlemania, but more that the build is so awesome that it seems like a waste not to use it on a B-show instead and thus boost the buyrate of, say, Extreme Rules from 150,000 to 400,000 or more.  Wrestlemania probably isn’t going to make much more money based on that match, but the other shows could use the help.  I understand that it won’t happen that way, of course. 

Can’t Stop The Rock

Two rock related questions:
1.  My friends and I have been debating the Rock lately.  One point of contention is that I claim he main-evented 5 wrestlemania’s in a row, my friend claims only 3.  WM 15-17 are obvious, but at 18 his match was clearly the most important (since he and hogan are on the poster) and even Jericho and HHH admit it should have been last.  WM 19, while the Austin-Rock match wasn’t quite as blow-away the main event as Rock-Hogan, Jericho refers to it as the main event on the Austin DVD and and JR says the only reason it didn’t go last was because nobody was sure about Austin’s health after the previous night.  So what say you, did he main event 3 in a row, or 5?

Clearly the main event of 18 was Hogan v. Rock, but 19 was either Hogan v. Vince or Angle v. Lesnar depending on your point of view.  Rock v. Austin was a distant third either way, so that would be four Wrestlemanias in a row by my watch. 

2.  I’ve heard for years about how losing at a certain show derailed a wrestler’s career or gave them a choker label (like, oh, lex luger?).  Yet the Rock lost ALL THE TIME.  He lost at WM 15.  He lost at WM 17.  He lost at WM 16 (allowing Hunter to be the first heel to retain at WM).  He only won his first belts because McMahon screwed Foley, then because he played an audio clip of foley quitting, then because Big Show interfered.  In fact, he’s never won a belt at WM.  He only retained at 14 because Shamrock wouldn’t stop beating him up (though the image of him holding up the belt from a stretcher was awesome).  My point is, Rock lost multiple times, yet it never slowed him down at all.  So, from this should I ascertain that maybe booking wasn’t the only thing that held other wrestlers back, or was the Rock just that much more awesome than everyone else?

Rock was just that awesome because you could beat him like a drum and all he had to do was cut a promo on RAW the next night to instantly regain all of his heat.  Most others are not blessed with that kind of talent.  Plus people believed in the Rock and bought him as a main eventer and World champion even after he lost, whereas Luger came off as much more fake. 

Bonus question:
3.  You’ve mentioned, and others have too, that Triple H/Taker doesn’t need to be at WM this year, but isn’t that the whole point?  If it’s not at WM, then it’s not for the streak, and it’s just two old guys fighting.  Don’t get me wrong, this WM looks stacked, but if they’re going to do this match, isn’t the the only time they can (given that I’m not sure Taker will still be able to walk in a year?  Though he could probably regrow his hair by then)?

My point wasn’t really that it didn’t need to be at Wrestlemania, but more that the build is so awesome that it seems like a waste not to use it on a B-show instead and thus boost the buyrate of, say, Extreme Rules from 150,000 to 400,000 or more.  Wrestlemania probably isn’t going to make much more money based on that match, but the other shows could use the help.  I understand that it won’t happen that way, of course. 

Can’t Stop The Rock

Two rock related questions:
1.  My friends and I have been debating the Rock lately.  One point of contention is that I claim he main-evented 5 wrestlemania’s in a row, my friend claims only 3.  WM 15-17 are obvious, but at 18 his match was clearly the most important (since he and hogan are on the poster) and even Jericho and HHH admit it should have been last.  WM 19, while the Austin-Rock match wasn’t quite as blow-away the main event as Rock-Hogan, Jericho refers to it as the main event on the Austin DVD and and JR says the only reason it didn’t go last was because nobody was sure about Austin’s health after the previous night.  So what say you, did he main event 3 in a row, or 5?

Clearly the main event of 18 was Hogan v. Rock, but 19 was either Hogan v. Vince or Angle v. Lesnar depending on your point of view.  Rock v. Austin was a distant third either way, so that would be four Wrestlemanias in a row by my watch. 

2.  I’ve heard for years about how losing at a certain show derailed a wrestler’s career or gave them a choker label (like, oh, lex luger?).  Yet the Rock lost ALL THE TIME.  He lost at WM 15.  He lost at WM 17.  He lost at WM 16 (allowing Hunter to be the first heel to retain at WM).  He only won his first belts because McMahon screwed Foley, then because he played an audio clip of foley quitting, then because Big Show interfered.  In fact, he’s never won a belt at WM.  He only retained at 14 because Shamrock wouldn’t stop beating him up (though the image of him holding up the belt from a stretcher was awesome).  My point is, Rock lost multiple times, yet it never slowed him down at all.  So, from this should I ascertain that maybe booking wasn’t the only thing that held other wrestlers back, or was the Rock just that much more awesome than everyone else?

Rock was just that awesome because you could beat him like a drum and all he had to do was cut a promo on RAW the next night to instantly regain all of his heat.  Most others are not blessed with that kind of talent.  Plus people believed in the Rock and bought him as a main eventer and World champion even after he lost, whereas Luger came off as much more fake. 

Bonus question:
3.  You’ve mentioned, and others have too, that Triple H/Taker doesn’t need to be at WM this year, but isn’t that the whole point?  If it’s not at WM, then it’s not for the streak, and it’s just two old guys fighting.  Don’t get me wrong, this WM looks stacked, but if they’re going to do this match, isn’t the the only time they can (given that I’m not sure Taker will still be able to walk in a year?  Though he could probably regrow his hair by then)?

My point wasn’t really that it didn’t need to be at Wrestlemania, but more that the build is so awesome that it seems like a waste not to use it on a B-show instead and thus boost the buyrate of, say, Extreme Rules from 150,000 to 400,000 or more.  Wrestlemania probably isn’t going to make much more money based on that match, but the other shows could use the help.  I understand that it won’t happen that way, of course. 

Can’t Stop The Rock

Two rock related questions:
1.  My friends and I have been debating the Rock lately.  One point of contention is that I claim he main-evented 5 wrestlemania’s in a row, my friend claims only 3.  WM 15-17 are obvious, but at 18 his match was clearly the most important (since he and hogan are on the poster) and even Jericho and HHH admit it should have been last.  WM 19, while the Austin-Rock match wasn’t quite as blow-away the main event as Rock-Hogan, Jericho refers to it as the main event on the Austin DVD and and JR says the only reason it didn’t go last was because nobody was sure about Austin’s health after the previous night.  So what say you, did he main event 3 in a row, or 5?

Clearly the main event of 18 was Hogan v. Rock, but 19 was either Hogan v. Vince or Angle v. Lesnar depending on your point of view.  Rock v. Austin was a distant third either way, so that would be four Wrestlemanias in a row by my watch. 

2.  I’ve heard for years about how losing at a certain show derailed a wrestler’s career or gave them a choker label (like, oh, lex luger?).  Yet the Rock lost ALL THE TIME.  He lost at WM 15.  He lost at WM 17.  He lost at WM 16 (allowing Hunter to be the first heel to retain at WM).  He only won his first belts because McMahon screwed Foley, then because he played an audio clip of foley quitting, then because Big Show interfered.  In fact, he’s never won a belt at WM.  He only retained at 14 because Shamrock wouldn’t stop beating him up (though the image of him holding up the belt from a stretcher was awesome).  My point is, Rock lost multiple times, yet it never slowed him down at all.  So, from this should I ascertain that maybe booking wasn’t the only thing that held other wrestlers back, or was the Rock just that much more awesome than everyone else?

Rock was just that awesome because you could beat him like a drum and all he had to do was cut a promo on RAW the next night to instantly regain all of his heat.  Most others are not blessed with that kind of talent.  Plus people believed in the Rock and bought him as a main eventer and World champion even after he lost, whereas Luger came off as much more fake. 

Bonus question:
3.  You’ve mentioned, and others have too, that Triple H/Taker doesn’t need to be at WM this year, but isn’t that the whole point?  If it’s not at WM, then it’s not for the streak, and it’s just two old guys fighting.  Don’t get me wrong, this WM looks stacked, but if they’re going to do this match, isn’t the the only time they can (given that I’m not sure Taker will still be able to walk in a year?  Though he could probably regrow his hair by then)?

My point wasn’t really that it didn’t need to be at Wrestlemania, but more that the build is so awesome that it seems like a waste not to use it on a B-show instead and thus boost the buyrate of, say, Extreme Rules from 150,000 to 400,000 or more.  Wrestlemania probably isn’t going to make much more money based on that match, but the other shows could use the help.  I understand that it won’t happen that way, of course. 

Can’t Stop The Rock

Two rock related questions:
1.  My friends and I have been debating the Rock lately.  One point of contention is that I claim he main-evented 5 wrestlemania’s in a row, my friend claims only 3.  WM 15-17 are obvious, but at 18 his match was clearly the most important (since he and hogan are on the poster) and even Jericho and HHH admit it should have been last.  WM 19, while the Austin-Rock match wasn’t quite as blow-away the main event as Rock-Hogan, Jericho refers to it as the main event on the Austin DVD and and JR says the only reason it didn’t go last was because nobody was sure about Austin’s health after the previous night.  So what say you, did he main event 3 in a row, or 5?

Clearly the main event of 18 was Hogan v. Rock, but 19 was either Hogan v. Vince or Angle v. Lesnar depending on your point of view.  Rock v. Austin was a distant third either way, so that would be four Wrestlemanias in a row by my watch. 

2.  I’ve heard for years about how losing at a certain show derailed a wrestler’s career or gave them a choker label (like, oh, lex luger?).  Yet the Rock lost ALL THE TIME.  He lost at WM 15.  He lost at WM 17.  He lost at WM 16 (allowing Hunter to be the first heel to retain at WM).  He only won his first belts because McMahon screwed Foley, then because he played an audio clip of foley quitting, then because Big Show interfered.  In fact, he’s never won a belt at WM.  He only retained at 14 because Shamrock wouldn’t stop beating him up (though the image of him holding up the belt from a stretcher was awesome).  My point is, Rock lost multiple times, yet it never slowed him down at all.  So, from this should I ascertain that maybe booking wasn’t the only thing that held other wrestlers back, or was the Rock just that much more awesome than everyone else?

Rock was just that awesome because you could beat him like a drum and all he had to do was cut a promo on RAW the next night to instantly regain all of his heat.  Most others are not blessed with that kind of talent.  Plus people believed in the Rock and bought him as a main eventer and World champion even after he lost, whereas Luger came off as much more fake. 

Bonus question:
3.  You’ve mentioned, and others have too, that Triple H/Taker doesn’t need to be at WM this year, but isn’t that the whole point?  If it’s not at WM, then it’s not for the streak, and it’s just two old guys fighting.  Don’t get me wrong, this WM looks stacked, but if they’re going to do this match, isn’t the the only time they can (given that I’m not sure Taker will still be able to walk in a year?  Though he could probably regrow his hair by then)?

My point wasn’t really that it didn’t need to be at Wrestlemania, but more that the build is so awesome that it seems like a waste not to use it on a B-show instead and thus boost the buyrate of, say, Extreme Rules from 150,000 to 400,000 or more.  Wrestlemania probably isn’t going to make much more money based on that match, but the other shows could use the help.  I understand that it won’t happen that way, of course. 

Road to Wrestlemania RAW Open Thread

Tough night for the WWE as one of the most important RAWs in this cycle is going head-to-head with the Daytona 500. Not to stereotype fans but one would assume that the ratings will take a slight hit.

Couple other observations. I have a couple more Legends of Wrestling roundtables to review before doing the Wrestlemania project. I just got done watching the one on Southern wrestling, which is sort of an extension of the episode on territories but the footage of Bob Roop stretching the shit out of some guy at the Sportatorium was hilarious and worth looking up.

Otherwise I watched the Oscars in full last night and it’s just so funny how Stacy Keibler is known simply as “Stacy” in the Hollywood circle now. And of course she looked amazing in her Marchesa and with her beautiful smile. She’s come a long way from being the Duchess of Dudleyville.

At this rate she’ll be part of Wrestlemania XXX and we’ll hear about how the fucking Bella twins are pissed that she’s taking their spot.

But until then, enjoy the show and come on swinging but keep it clean!

Funkasaurus Central

So Dave updated the Brodus Clay situation in the latest WON, and basically Vince decided to pull him from TV because he felt Clay was too sloppy and dangerous a worker.  How he came to judge this from one-minute squashes, I don’t know.  And how he was basically replaced by THE GREAT KHALI on the roster without the universe collapsing from the irony, I don’t know either.  So there you go.

Funkasaurus Central

So Dave updated the Brodus Clay situation in the latest WON, and basically Vince decided to pull him from TV because he felt Clay was too sloppy and dangerous a worker.  How he came to judge this from one-minute squashes, I don’t know.  And how he was basically replaced by THE GREAT KHALI on the roster without the universe collapsing from the irony, I don’t know either.  So there you go.

Funkasaurus Central

So Dave updated the Brodus Clay situation in the latest WON, and basically Vince decided to pull him from TV because he felt Clay was too sloppy and dangerous a worker.  How he came to judge this from one-minute squashes, I don’t know.  And how he was basically replaced by THE GREAT KHALI on the roster without the universe collapsing from the irony, I don’t know either.  So there you go.

Funkasaurus Central

So Dave updated the Brodus Clay situation in the latest WON, and basically Vince decided to pull him from TV because he felt Clay was too sloppy and dangerous a worker.  How he came to judge this from one-minute squashes, I don’t know.  And how he was basically replaced by THE GREAT KHALI on the roster without the universe collapsing from the irony, I don’t know either.  So there you go.