Matt’s Main Event Recap – 5/6/2014

Welcome back to the first Main Event following Extreme Rules! Happy Cinco de Seis!

I hope you have a bottle of Tequila left because, tonight, we’re going to “hear from John Cena” whether you like it or not.

Before we begin, I have to say that I really don’t know who has it worse at this point: Cena or Daniel Bryan. Cena’s selling you T-shirts so he’s gotta stay relevant and I get that. For better or worse, we have to deal with Hip Hop Hogan and his arm band and the five moves of doom. All the kids go nuts and everyone’s happy but us.

So, Cena’s out there, tearing it up and feuding with a top heel…but out comes “Little Johnny” (seriously, they named the kid) and, suddenly, kids singing in sheep masks goes from cool and unexpected to really hokey. They even unearthed the voice changer gimmick from the Nailz-Bossman struggle.

It’s not like this thing was any good to begin with. Their Wrestlemania match was SO boring and the cage match at ER was about the same.

What’s the alternative?

Oh, yeah, the champion who was seen for, like, 14 minutes over the course of three weeks and is essentially being given a recycled Cena storyline from two years ago where Cena had to win by throwing Kane into an ambulance for some reason.

It’s hard not to be cynical when Monday’s RAW was as bad as it was. One
minute, Bryan’s beating Triple H. The next, he’s running from Kane. Then
he fights and beats Kane. Then he’s whimpering impatiently about
“getting out of here” and the car won’t start while Brie shrieks like Kate Capshaw.

At the very least, Cena confronted Kane, beat the crap out of him, then made out with Eve Torres before (probably) banging her backstage.

I hope all this bullshit ends at Payback because RAW is a chore at three hours already. It’s worse when it passes into TNA territory.

Anyway, let’s go…

We are LIVE(!) from the First Niagra Center in Buffalo, New York!

Byron Saxton and Tom Phillips are the guys at the Announce Table.


  • Cena’s out here to “respond to stuff”.

And, apparently, that’s all they’ve got for now. If that’s the biggest thing they’ve got, I give.

MATCH #1: Dolph Ziggler vs. Jack Swagger (w/ Zeb Colter)
Zeb’s angry with Adam for interrupting his “deportation” spot on Monday Night RAW. Meanwhile, Swagger hits a couple of belly to back takedowns on Ziggler to start. Ziggler gets out. Swagger misses some clotheslines and Ziggler dropkicks him out of the ring. Swagger gets back in and gets another dropkick. Swagger gets a two count. Ziggler tries to toss Swagger to the buckle but Swagger reverses and Ziggler ends up outside. Swagger rolls Ziggler back in and gets a two-count. He locks up Ziggler’s arm and clotheslines him to the mat. Ziggler gets out of it, kicks Swagger in the head on a backdrop attempt and charges Swagger and Swagger dumps Ziggler out of the ring.

After a break, Swagger has Ziggler in a headlock. Ziggler escapes and tackles Swagger in the corner, punching away. Neckbreaker by Ziggler. Ziggler tries a Zigg Zagg but Swagger catches him and goes for a powerbomb. Counter by Ziggler and it’s a Sunset Flip for two. Swagger charges at him from out of the corner but Ziggler hits the Fame-Asser for two. Ziggler runs at Swagger again but gets caught in a Spinebuster. Ziggler BARELY kicks out…and then fucking Adam shows up with his party crew. Adam (who’s like a slightly more sober Keith Richards on Estrogen) gets in front of Colter, laying on the table in front of him. He grabs a mic and yacks at Swagger, telling him it’s Party Time. Ziggler hits the Zigg Zagg for the win after the distraction and gets the win at 9:51.
WINNER: Ziggler via Zigg Zagg
GRADE: C-. This was getting good until Adam showed up.

Post-match, Adam tells Ziggler to stay and party. He does.

Refer friends to the WWE Network and you get a $25 dollar WWE Shop Gift Card for each friend.

THIS FRIDAY: Sheamus defends his United States Championship.

MATCH #2: Aksana, Tamina Snuka & Alicia Fox vs. Natalya & The Funkydactyls (Naomi & Cameron)
This is, apparently, a match born of an alliance forged during a crisis on Total Divas where Natalya couldn’t find her cat. Yes, we’re booking matches based on the notion that somebody’s cat vanished for a few hours. Even Saxton and Phillips can’t take this seriously and laugh. Nattie and Fox start and Fox hits a nice takedown with head scissors. Nattie comes back with a sitting dropkick then tries the Sharpshooter. Fox gets to the ropes and escapes the ring. Nattie chases but Tamina lurks, distracting her. Fox kicks Natalya in the head and she goes down. Fox rolls her back in the ring and gets two. Tag to Aksana who goes in just to try to pin Natalya and it’s a tag to Snuka who rams Natties head into the buckle. Aksana is back in and she punches at Natalya, then yanks her to the mat by her legs. Two count. Crowd starts chanting, “BORING”. Aksana tries an elbow smash after a headlock and misses but recovers nicely and stops Natalya from making a tag. Snuka and Aksana trade tags until Nattie makes a hot tag to Naomi. Naomi hits dropkicks and a running clothesline. Aksana rolls outside the ropes and Naomi uses her legs to hit a sitting modified DDT. Naomi knocks Snuka and Fox off the mat, then hits The Rear View and the split-leg Moonsault for the win at 4:58.
WINNERS: Nattie & The Funkydactyls via Moonsault

Post-match, Nattie screams at Cameron for, presumably, losing her cat…even though they found him. Still a more satisfying storyline than Cena-Bray.

We get the Mr. T Mother’s Day tribute from RAW.

NEXT: Kane asks Bryan if he has 25 cents for the vending machine and Bryan screams like a cheerleader and tells Steph to bring the car around.

As promised, we get the recap from RAW.

(G/F: “Whoa…the Kane Mask Lantern thing was COOOOL. Ya’ think they’re gonna sell one just like that one at the WWE Shop? Or will it be a really CRAPPY one like the fake Wyatt Lantern I got you as a stocking stuffer?“)

MATCH #3: Goldust (w/ Cody Rhodes) vs. Curtis Axel (w/ Ryback)
Remember when Goldust and Cody had everything going for them and the RybAxel thing was on its way out? Reflect on that with me right now…yeeeees. Ok, now come back to reality and let’s watch this thing. The crowd is already shitting on this thing. A lock-up turns to a shoving match and Axel gets some kicks in. He goes for a back drop but Dust hits an arm drag on a counter. Dust charges at Axel who drops Dust on the ropes. Axel attacks Dust in the corner and hits a falling chop by slinging himself over the ropes, onto Dust’s chest. He gets back in the ring and hits a kneelift, getting two. Dust starts fighting back but ends up running himself into the buckles. Axel follows that mistake with a dropkick. Headlock by Axel. Dust fights back and nearly runs into a dropkick but holds the ropes and Axel falls on his ass. Dust hits a flipping pin and then a Spinebuster. Axel tries for a backdrop off the ropes but Dust hits an uppercut and Atomic Drop. He corners Axel, climbs the second rope and punches away. Axel slings him into the corner but Dust counters with a powerslam for two. Dust goes to pick Axel up but Axel dumps Dust outside. Suddenly, Cody goes for the Disaster Kick on DUST?! No…Dust ducks and the Kick hits Ryback who was about to jump on Goldust. Back inside, Dust hits The Final Cut on Axel and we’re done at 6:07.
WINNER: Goldust via Final Cut
GRADE: C+. This was all right. Glad to see the Rhodes winning one here and there.

ON THE NEXT LEGENDS HOUSE: The wrestlers have to strip. For chicks. Who came to see Mean Gene Okerlund and Pat Patterson half-naked. Those $25 WWE Shop Gift Cards are sure to be yours now after you show them this!

Jesus…we’re finishing the show with Cena’s “reaction” promo?

Cena says to go ahead and Follow the Buzzards™. He can’t stop the fans. So, go ahead. But, before they do, he wants to know what they’re following. Then he sings that Top 40 Public Domain Chart-Buster, “He’s Got the Whole World in His Hands”. Or maybe it’s the Sheep Mask. Or maybe it’s the way Bray talks…he’s captivating and he’s lucid (G/F: “And he can’t put down a sandwich!”)…so, let’s take a look at the stuff we saw on RAW.

Cena wants to know what the fans believe in. Cena says that he believes in what he preaches. He’s not a god. He’s a man. He believes in respect and honor and hard work. Cena was raised to fight what he believes in. The competition may change along with the color of his shirt and the fan sentiment. But his message remains the same: you never give up…even if you’re the last man standing.

And, with that, we go off the air.

OVERALL: D+. This was a throw-away show this week.

That’s it. Thank you to Scott Keith, AndyPG for the shout-out on his RAW write-up and all the people who like what
they read and if you wanna read more of my stuff, please visit WE HATE
YOUR GIMMICK at and, of course, visit us on

Best Free TV Match Ever

Hey Scott,
All the clashes going up in the network made me wonder about something. Obviously most all time great matches took place on a ppv but with so many more eyes on a match when its aired on TV, it seems like that makes great free TV matches even more special. What would you say is the best one ever? Sting vs Flair? Cena vs Punk? The raw 10 man tag? DBS vs Owen? The Benoit vs Hart Owen tribute? Hbk and Austin vs Owen and Davey? There are so many to choose from but what's your favorite and do you think a great match on free TV is a bigger deal than a great ppv match?
​I'd have to go with Flair-Steamboat by a mile, but there's certainly some other good ones in the list.  The best I can remember watching live were Michaels & Austin v. Davey & Owen and then of course Austin & HHH v. Benoit & Jericho, and the latter one instantly became one of my all-time favorites.  I think with the weekly nature of TV, great matches kind of get forgotten faster there, whereas PPV is treated as a special big deal and thus you're more likely to remember something big that happened at, say, Wrestlemania than some random RAW.  But really, a great match is a great match no matter where.  ​

What the World Was Watching: Over the Edge 1998 – In Your House

by Logan Scisco

The show starts
with the “Mr. McMahon’s Utopia” video package, which is one of the best WWF
video packages of all-time.
Jim Ross and Jerry
“the King” Lawler are on commentary and they are live from Milwaukee, Wisconsin
(otherwise known as the town that R-Truth can’t remember).

Contest:  LOD 2000 (w/Sunny & Darren
Drozdov) defeat The Disciples of Apocalypse (w/Chainz) when Animal pins Skull
after a powerslam at 9:48:
I mentioned in the Unforgiven review that that show was
Sunny’s last WWF pay-per-view appearance, but this one actually is (I somehow
forgot this show and jumped in my mind from Unforgiven to King of the Ring).  She definitely looks worse for wear and her
firing shortly after this was not surprising. 
Ross hypes the LOD’s AWA background on commentary since Milwaukee was a
former AWA stop and some AWA legends are being honored later in the show.  This has a hot start, but the DOA choke the
life of it (literally).  The DOA tries an
illegal switch late in the match, but Droz nails Skull in the head when he runs
the ropes and the LOD wins.  This match
isn’t putting either team anywhere near the title picture, though.  Rating:  *
Champion The Rock comes out and runs down the Milwaukee beer industry and their
women.  Faarooq runs out and gives the
Rock a piledriver on a chair (sort of) and then beats up some of the Nation
before he leaves the ring.  The Rock does
a stretcher job and Ross and Lawler speculate on whether we will have an
Intercontinental championship match tonight or not.  The most ridiculous part of the stretcher job
is they do not have EMTs come out to the ring and Owen is the one who has to
put a neck collar on the Rock.
Michael Cole talks
to WWF Champion Steve Austin in the locker room.  Austin says he doesn’t care about the odds he
faces tonight and says that no one has volunteered to watch his back in the
title match.
“Double J” Jeff
Jarrett (w/Tennessee Lee) beats Steve Blackman after Lee hits Blackman with a
karate stick at 10:19:
Blackman is like one of those non-credible challengers
that Jarrett used to face in 1995 when he was Intercontinental champion.  During the bout, Al Snow is shown doing
commentary with the Spanish announce team dressed in stereotypical Mexican
attire (he’s eventually removed by security and gets a bigger reaction than the
match).  The real
highlight of this match is Lawler reading off country song lyrics to narrate
big moments.  This is a serviceable match,
but it has very little heat, and Jarrett picks up the cheap win via Lee’s
interference.  You can hear the crickets
as he makes his way to the back.  Rating: 
Marc Mero giving
Sable the conditions for the match between him and someone of Sable’s choosing
on last week’s RAW is shown.
Sable’s Freedom
vs. Sable’s Career Match:  “Marvelous”
Marc Mero pins Sable with an inside cradle at 29 seconds:
Ross makes an allusion to Mero’s Johnny B. Badd gimmick
by telling Lawler “You know, Mero looks a lot like Little Richard.”  Back in 1998, I thought Sable would pick the
Undertaker as the superstar to face Mero. 
However, Sable opts to choose herself for this match and Mero feigns
sadness at having to wrestle her.  He
decides to lay down for her, but when Sable covers him, he reverses it and
sends her packing.  A guy in the front
row yells “NO!  NO!” when Mero reverses
the pin and that is pretty funny.  Mero
actually gets a decent pop for the pin, but sadly he wouldn’t be done with
Sable yet.  This was actually Mero’s last
victory on a WWF pay-per-view.
Cole recaps what
we have just seen, as if we are idiots, and Sable thanks her fans for their
support and tries to cry and can’t.
Dok Hendrix is in
the locker room with the Nation of Domination, but they refuse to talk with
him.  Commissioner Slaughter has forced
the Rock to defend the Intercontinental title regardless of what Faarooq did to
him earlier.  There’s something that
doesn’t seem quite fair about that to me, especially since Faarooq was
Bonus Handicap Match:  Kaientai (w/Yamaguchi-San) beat Taka
Michinoku & Bradshaw after Dick Togo pins Michinoku with a Senton Bomb at 9:53:
This is back when a bonus match actually made sense
within existing storylines.  The Kaientai
feud was the WWF’s attempt to give Bradshaw something to do after the New
Blackjacks split up and the NWA angle was a bust, but it never really took off.  Seeing Bradshaw face Kaientai is like
watching a real world version of Gulliver’s
.  It leads to some
entertaining spots, though, with Bradshaw viciously slamming members of
Kaientai on the arena floor and having all of the members of Kaientai try to
take him down simultaneously.  Everything
devolves into some really fun spots for the finish, which sees Kainetai’s
numbers overwhelm their opponents and continue to build momentum with a
win.  Unfortunately, there wasn’t a lot
for Kaientai to do after the Michinoku feud because their size created a
credibility problem.  Rating: 
Sable is shown
slowly walking out of the arena with her bags.
Championship Match:  The Rock (Champion)
defeats Faarooq with the Flair pin at 5:09:
This is the big blowoff for the Rock-Faarooq feud that
has been simmering throughout 1998, but Ross prefers to talk about it as an
extension of the Florida State-Miami football feud.  The Rock initially refuses to come out for
the bout, so Commissioner Slaughter walks out and orders him to come to the
ring in ten seconds or forfeit the title. 
So, we are supposed to buy Slaughter as a face in this situation after
he beat up Steve Austin a few weeks ago on RAW? 
The Rock does come out and we get a whimper of a match to settle this
long-term feud.  Faarooq was not
well-suited to playing a face and he would dabble around in the lower midcard
before the Acolyte tag team revived his career. After the match, Faarooq
piledrives the Rock and the Nation runs in to do a beatdown before D-Generation
X makes the save.  THAT finally wakes up
the crowd.  Rating:  *½
 -Mask vs. Mask Match:  Kane (w/Paul Bearer) pins Vader with a
Tombstone at 7:22:
This is really the last pay-per-view where Vader had a
great deal of credibility, but the WWF really spoiled the outcome by making
this a mask vs. mask match.  I never
understood why that stipulation held up in kayfabe anyway since WWF viewers had
already seen Vader without his mask on several occasions, so who cares if he
loses it?  Vader also did not get as much
airtime relative to Kane’s ongoing feud with the Undertaker, so that was
another clue that he was going to be cannon fodder here.  The only real interesting event of this match
is when Vader hits Kane with a wrench that he acquires from underneath the
ring, but that isn’t enough to stop the Big Red Machine, who remains undefeated
against anyone not named the Undertaker. 
Rating:  ½*
After the match,
Vader is unmasked and Lawler acts like this is an unheard of event.  In a funny moment, Kane puts the mask on Paul Bearer, who dances around like Vader and proclaims it “Paul Bearer time.”  Cole interviews Vader, who announces that he’s
a “big, fat piece of shit.”  One would
think this would create a small redemption angle for Vader that would see him
return to his roots and vault back up the card, but it was not meant to be.
The Crusher and
Mad Dog Vachon are recognized in a small ceremony for AWA superstars.  The crowd is very appreciative of both men
and I would guess that Jim Cornette played a role in putting this together,
probably over Kevin Dunn’s objections. 
Lawler takes objection to the ceremony, makes fun of Mad Dog Vachon, and
the Crusher beats him up.
Owen Hart, Kama
Mustafa & D-Lo Brown (w/Mark Henry) defeat Triple H & The New Age
Outlaws (w/X-Pac & Chyna) when Owen pins Triple H with a Pedigree on a tag
team title belt at 18:34:
For the first time tonight, the crowd is really buzzing
about a match.  Owen is the most over
participant, getting an “Owen sucks” and being loudly booed when he enters the
match.  Momentum swings back and forth
and when all hell breaks loose things really step up a notch as Chyna decks Mark
Henry and Billy Gunn and Triple H give D-Lo a spike piledriver on a tag team
title belt.  However, Owen breaks that up
and gets a measure of revenge against Triple H by finally pinning him on
pay-per-view.  Of course, by the time
that Owen has gotten this revenge he’s a heel and we’re supposed to be mad
about it.  The match was just average,
but it put Kama and D-Lo on the same level as the more recognized members of
D-Generation X and thereby gave the Nation some credibility in their feud with
DX.  Rating:  **
A video package
hypes the upcoming WWF championship match between Steve Austin and Dude Love
Hendrix interviews
Vince McMahon, Pat Patterson, and Gerald Brisco and McMahon mockingly says that
he will be an impartial referee tonight. 
He says that if Austin touches him, he will stop the match and strip him
of the title and makes it very clear that the match will end “by his hand only.”
-WWF Championship
Match with Vince McMahon as Guest Referee, Pat Patterson as Guest Ring Announcer,
and Gerald Brisco as Guest Timekeeper:  “Stone
Cold” Steve Austin (Champion) pins Dude Love with a Stone Cold Stunner at 22:28:
This is one of my all-time favorite matches and there are
so many things to love about it.  First, Howard
Finkel gives a pre-written introduction for Patterson that compares him to
Wayne Gretzky, discusses Patterson surviving a “grueling” tournament in Rio de
Janeiro to win the Intercontinental title, and applauds him as a role model for
children.  Second, Patterson gives the
most hilarious ring introductions ever by saying Brisco is the reincarnation of
Jim Thorpe and emphasizing that he’s a real Native American unlike Chief Jay
Strongbow, arguing that Vince makes “life worth living” and has a “yes I can”
attitude (too bad Linda didn’t run for Senate earlier and change the “I” in
that to “we”), arguing that Dude Love is an inspiration, and that Austin is a “foul
mouthed punk” and a “bum.”  Third, as the
match proceeds, McMahon changes the rules to a no disqualification and falls
count anywhere match (which were hilariously dubbed as “reminders”), which
causes the Ross rage-o-meter to reach a 1.0. 
And fourth, it has one of the wildest and craziest finishes to a WWF
title match, as McMahon is inadvertently laid out by a Love chair shot; the
Undertaker, who comes out before the match to watch Austin’s back, chokeslams
Patterson and Brisco through the ringside announce tables to prevent them from
counting a Love pin on Austin; and Austin takes an unconscious McMahon’s hand
to register the three count after he gives Love a Stunner.  Ross sums the match up beautifully:  “Steve Austin is the toughest son of a bitch
I ever saw!”  This was my Match of the
Year for 1998 (I think it ended up finishing third in the PWI voting that year)
due to the great build up, the ability of the booking to draw a loud crowd
reaction, and a very witty ending.  Rating: 
The Final Report Card:  The WWF was still working toward “red hot”
status, so this show is still in the transition period where they were
reinforcing their gains against WCW.  The
entire card aside from the main event is lackluster and is RAW fare, but the
main event is the only thing that needed to deliver at the time and it
did.  Surprisingly, this show drew fewer
buys than Unforgiven and drew the fewest buys of any show in the Austin era.  The only thing that I think could account for that is that the fans felt Austin winning was a foregone conclusion.  I won’t give this show a thumbs up, since it is just a one match show, but if you have never
seen Austin-Love, then you need to check it out.
0.58 (+0.01 from the previous year)

Show Evaluation:  Thumbs Down

QOTD 152: Bizarro World!

So I was playing Alter Ego today. It’s a free, crazy, text-adventure life simulator thing that has a TON of cool little details packed into it and is festively written. It was actually made by a team of psychologists and is pretty damn nuts. I essentially did all the things I normally wouldn’t and ended up geting kidnapped and murdered around the age of 13.

Shit’s fucked up.

So – lets talk about alternate timelines and extended universes.

What are your favorite non-canonical stories in comic books, film, and TV? Have a special fondness for the Firefly Comics even though they came out after the show? Read Shadows of The Empire? Tackle Alter Ego and have a life altering experience? Share below!

Oh! And speaking of Bizarro worlds, 9 Innings: Pro Baseball 2014 is finally updated! Huzzah! It’s pretty much the best baseball game out there if you don’t own a PS4 or Vita. Quick games, deep strategy, real players, collectable cards – it’s awesome! It even has a Franchise mode!

The SmarK Rant for Clash of Champions I

The SmarK Rant for Clash of the Champions I Turns out I haven’t actually done this show since 98ish, and that’s just ridiculous. So everyone should know the deal with this by now, as Jim Crockett decided to run a free TV special to fuck with Wrestlemania IV, and it worked spectacularly well, tanking the buyrate and making a star out of Sting. My wrestling friends in school were PUMPED about this show back in the day and we were crushed to find out that it was on TBS and thus we couldn’t see it on TV here in Canada. Also, thank god this is the original TV version and not the home video one. Live from Greensboro, NC Your hosts are Jim Ross, Tony Schiavone & Bob Caudle World TV title: Mike Rotundo v. Jimmy Garvin This is under amateur rules, which is a weird way to kick off a big show. A one-count wins and there’s rounds. Rotundo goes for a single-leg and pulls the tights to do so, but Garvin takes him down with a slam and Rotundo bails. Interesting tension here in that any cover basically ends it. Garvin works on a facelock and they threaten to exchange fisticuffs, but Teddy Long breaks them up. Rotundo gets a clothesline and goes for the cover, but Garvin rolls to his stomach as the round expires. Second round and Rotundo attacks and goes up (like they do in amateur wrestling), which allows Garvin to slam him off. Garvin with the brainbuster, but he goes after Kevin Sullivan and Rotundo rolls him up for the pin at 6:45 to retain. And then Precious kicks some serious ass, laying out Rick Steiner with a 2×4 and choking Sullivan down with a coat hanger. Nothing much to this. *1/2 Steve Williams returns from Japan to offer his support for Dusty Rhodes and challenge Ric Flair. So, uh, Dr. Death with a live mic, bad idea. US tag team titles: The Midnight Express v. The Fantastics Oh man, “Chase” has been expunged from the Midnights’ entrance! That’s criminal. Big brawl to start and Fulton goes crazy with a chair, taking out Eaton on the floor and then chasing the Express into another brawl outside. This time the Express gets the best of it, as Lane lays Fulton out with a chair and even Cornette is throwing shit around. JR notes that they’re not here “to listen to rock n roll music and look good”. Clearly. In the ring, the Fantastics toss them around, but finally the Express gets their shit together and takes out Rogers with a Total Elimination. That’s more like it. Superkick from Lane and Cornette blatantly holds up a table, as Eaton sends Rogers into it behind the ref’s back. Now THAT’S some spectacular cheating. Eaton with a powerslam and flying elbow and they pound on Rogers in the corner. Demolition-style flying knee from Eaton as the crowd is going batshit. I love that they don’t just do the standard “punch and kick in the corner” stuff for the heel offense here, it’s crazy double-teams and non-stop action. Lane tosses Rogers after a hope spot and Eaton slams him on the table, and he’s still moving so Eaton bulldogs him on the table as well. Back in, more awesome double-teaming, but Rogers lunges over for the hot tag…which the ref doesn’t see. And then Cornette leaps in and starts hitting him with the tennis racket to boot. He hits the wrong guy, however, and the Fantastics hit Eaton with the Rocket Launcher for the pin and the titles at 10:20? Nope, as in fact the ref had been thrown over the top rope and thus it’s a Dusty Finish instead. Crappy finish, but it at least built to the Fantastics winning the belts for real soon after. This was just crazy action from start to finish. ****1/4 Meanwhile, Jim Cornette does a comedy routine with Eddie Haskell. Gary Hart introduces us to Vince Russo’s twin brother Al Perez, who wants Dusty’s US title. Notice how the babyfaces make sure to support Dusty and the heels challenge Dusty? And now the top 10 seeds for the Crockett Cup, many of which ended up not happening due to re-booking stuff: 10. Ivan Koloff & Dick Murdoch 9. Sting & Ron Garvin 8. Varsity Club 7. Fantastics 6. Windham & Luger 5. Powers of Pain 4. Midnight Express 3. Road Warriors 2. Nikita & Dusty 1. Arn Anderson & Tully Blanchard Chicago Street Fight: Dusty Rhodes & The Road Warriors v. The Powers of Pain & Ivan Koloff The ropes are wrapped in barbed wire just for fun. Animal is wearing a hockey mask due to having a weight dropped on his face, so he’s rather upset. The babyfaces beat on the Powers and of course Dusty is the first one to bleed. The poor ref just stands around outside waiting for a pinfall, and Animal quickly finishes Barbarian with a powerslam. Just a big messy brawl, nothing to it. ½* Nikita Koloff is back and he’s high on SPORTS, not drugs. Also, Dusty Rhodes is his friend. NWA World tag team titles: Tully Blanchard & Arn Anderson v. Barry Windham & Lex Luger The Horsemen had been champions forever and teaming up Windham & Luger was the nuclear option to deal with the problem once and for all. It not only made it sweeter for fans when they succeeded, but made the Horsemen seems all the more terrible when they outsmarted everyone and got the belts back again. Ah, those were the days. Farewell to Luger’s music, by the way. Luger overpowers Tully to start, and clotheslines both champions. Powerslam for Tully and he racks him, but Arn kicks him in the knee and quickly goes to work on it. The Horsemen switch off on the knee, but Barry gets a quick tag and cleans house. Lariat for Tully and he drops the knee, and his own powerslam gets two. Sleeper and Tully rolls out to escape, but Barry just hangs on. Tully tries going up and gets slammed off, and Windham follows with an abdominal stretch, leaving him open for a DDT from AA. That gets two. The crowd is just insane for the faces, popping for everything. Spinebuster gets two and Arn does the knucklelock spot and lands on Windham’s knees, but brings Tully back in as he pounds away for two. Windham comes back with a bodypress for two and they collide, setting up the pinfall reversal spot. Windham reverses the bridge into a gutwrench suplex, but Anderson cuts off the tag and works on the arm. Windham fights out of it, but Arn takes him down again, and they butt heads. Back to Tully for the slingshot suplex, but that only gets two. Arn can’t cut off another tag, and Luger is HERE. Clotheslines for everyone and the crowd is just going crazy as Luger is no-selling everything. Tully trips him up, but Luger comes right back with a powerslam for Arn and it’s BONZO GONZO. JJ grabs a chair, but Luger rams Arn into it and the pop redefines the term “blowing the roof off the joint at 9:34, ****1/4 Not only some of the loudest sustained heat for any match you’ll ever hear, but one of the fasted-paced tag team matches you’ll ever see, as they just packed everything but the kitchen sink into a 10-minute match and threw it all there. Also highly recommended is the rematch where Windham turned on Luger and ripped the hearts out of fans everywhere: NWA World title: Ric Flair v. Sting So this is Sting’s first big shot at the title, with a 45-minute TV time limit and a panel of judges to make sure there’s a winner. Including Jason Hervey and Eddie Haskell, so you know they mean business. Sting grabs the headlock to start and powers Flair down off a wristlock. They do the test of strength and Flair opts to chop out of it, but Sting no-sells it and hiptosses him out of the ring. Back in, Sting controls with a hammerlock and they criss-cross into a press-slam from Sting. Sting takes him down with a flying headscissors into the hiptoss, and back to the headlock again. Flair fights up and hiptosses out of it, but Sting counters and goes right back to it again. Flair fights up and Sting hiptosses him and tries another dropkick, but Flair dodges him. Sting gets tossed but pops right back in and fires away in the corner, then right back to the headlock again. Flair chops out of it and they slug it out in the corner, and Sting gets another press slam, into the bearhug. Flair makes it to the corner to escape and Sting tries to follow with the Stinger splash, but misses and hits his arm on the post. Flair is all over him, tossing him and running him into the railing. Back in, Flair throws the chops and Sting goes down, so Flair hammers on the back. Kneedrop times two and Flair rips at the face just to be a bastard. He rakes the face on the ropes and fires more chops in the corner, and Sting ends up on the floor again. Flair sends him into the railing again and they head back in so Flair can chop him again. Sting gets fired up, though, and slugs Flair right out of the ring, but charges at Flair and hits the post. So the arm is hurt again and Flair goes to town back in the ring, but Sting pops up and slugs away in the corner. Clothesline gets two. Flair tries to make a run for it, but Sting suplexes him back in and into the Scorpion Deathlock. Flair quickly makes the ropes, so Sting takes Flair to the corner again and shrugs off a chop. He slugs Flair down for two, but Ric is in the ropes again. Sting hiptosses him and tries a clothesline, but Flair moves and Sting hits the floor again. Flair takes a breather, but Sting comes in with a high cross for two. Flair catches him with the kneecrusher, however, and starts pounding on the knee. Another kneecrusher and Sting bails to the floor. Back in, Flair pounds on the knee again and adds a backdrop suplex, and now we go to school! Flair uses the ropes to assist as usual, but Sting powers into the reversal. Flair is up first, however, and goes after the knee again, then sets up on the apron for a suplex. Crowd freaks out, but Sting suplexes him back in instead, only to miss a big splash. They fight for the abdominal stretch and Sting wins that, but Flair hiptosses out. Flair chops him down and goes up, but Sting slams him off for two. He pulls Flair into the corner and posts him, then gets his own figure-four. Flair escapes, so Sting stomps on the knee again and yanks him out of the corner to work on the leg again. Flair Flip and he hits the floor, but Sting follows and beats on him. Flair tries a sunset flip back in, but Sting slugs him down and rakes Flair’s face on the ropes. Sting fires away in the corner, then no-sells Flair’s atomic drop and clotheslines him for two. Stinger splash misses and Sting hits the floor in dramatic fashion. Back in, they slug it out and Flair goes down, but comes back with a sleeper, so Sting rams him into the turnbuckle to break. Flair tosses him in desperation, but Sting comes back in with a sunset flip, which Flair blocks for two. Young kicks him out of the ropes and Sting gets two. Flair begs off and Sting whips him out, but Flair comes in with a high cross, reversed by Sting for two. Sting no-sells all of Flair’s offense now, hammering him in the corner to set up the Stinger splash. Scorpion Deathlock with time running out, but Flair hangs on until the time limit at 45:00. The decision: Two judges for Flair, two for Sting, one for a draw. Silly booking aside, I definitely gave this one short shrift on the original rant, as the full match flows much better and you can see the storyline of young and hungry Sting fighting for his life but not knowing how to finish. Definitely a modern classic. ****1/2 The Pulse Are you KIDDING me? This is the one of the best wrestling shows in HISTORY, full stop, with three **** matches in a two-hour span. Yet another reason to justify the $10 for the Network.

BoD Daily Update

Batista Update

Batista will be staying with the WWE until the Payback Special Event. The WWE convinced him to stay and he will be teaming with the rest of Evolution to take on The Shield at Payback.

Credit Dave Meltzer, Wrestling Observer Radio

Change to RAW Script, Part #1

Originally, Batista was scripted to face Daniel Bryan last night on RAW but that was changed when he agreed to stay until Payback.

Credit Mike Johnson,

Change to RAW Script, Part #2

At one point yesterday, Evolution was scheduled to be guest timekeepers during the Shield vs. Wyatt Family match.

Credit Dave Meltzer, Wrestling Observer Radio

BoD Extreme Rules

This has nothing to do with the WWE

I have personally dedicated this to my friend, brawsome, and all of the RSS Feeds across the universe.

20 Man Win-A-Date Battle Royal
James, DavidBonzaiSaldanaMontgomery, PrimeTime Ten, Beard Money, Hart Killer 09, Your Favourite Loser, cabspaintedyellow, Worst in the World, Mick, nebb28, C.O. Jones, Dr. Facts, juvydriver, Phrederic, Stan Ford, Bobby, Scotty Flamingo, Andy PG, Andrew Dean, X Man

20 jam-up guys in one ring to win a chance at a date with poster jessybabe, who was involuntarily chosen for this stipulation. The date will take place on BoD RAW tomorrow night. And the match gets under way and the first person eliminated is Nebb28, courtesy of Andy PG. Oh man, his pet rock was flown in for the show and that set back the GM a lot of money. Nebb hangs his head in shame as he walks by the rock. And our British representative, Andrew Dean, has been eliminated by C.O. Jones. And the true shooter of the BoD, Bobby, has just been eliminated by the man who found Mrs. Whippleman, Dr. Facts. And look at this, somebody done mess with a country boy as Beard Money is running wild. He eliminates Stan Ford, Phrederic, and X Man then caps it off with a cartwheel. HA HA HA, YES SIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  The BoD Fantasy Sports Man and mediocre comedy poster, DBSM, has just been eliminated by Hart Killer 09. C.O. Jones has just been tossed by cabspaintedyellow. And James has just been tossed by Beard Money. No Daniel Bryan joining the Wyatt Family flashbacks for Andy PG here as he just tossed Worst in the World and juvydriver. And he tosses Scotty Flamingo too, who is now free to go masturbate to the anti-Dave Meltzer comments on the BoD. Mick has been eliminated after getting backdropped to the floor courtesy of Andy PG, who is on fire, unlike Kane. And surprisingly, Your Favourite Loser is still around. Dr. Facts and cabspaintedyellow are fighting near the ropes. Beard Money runs over and clotheslines Dr. Facts and cabspaintedyellow over the top ropes, eliminating them from this match. PrimeTime Ten sneaks up from behind and dumps his partner over the ropes. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT!!!!!!  HE DONE MESSED WITH A COUNTRY BOY!!!!  And Beard Money is irate. The final four are Andy PG, Hart Killer 09, PrimeTime Ten, and the job squad member, Your Favourite Loser. Things are getting rough as all four men are getting tired. Andy PG whiffs on a clothesline and Hart Killer 09 connects with a super kick. He picks up Andy and tosses him outside but Andy skins the cat! He charges at Hart Killer, who ducks and pulls down the ropes and Andy PG is eliminated. Good news, White Coat Security does not need the CM Punk sock puppet to help him cope with this situation. Your Favourite Loser is getting chopped in the corner by Hart Killer and PrimeTime Ten, who are now fighting with each other. Your Favourite Loser picks himself up in the corner and dropkicks Hart Killer from behind and he is nearly over the ropes and PrimeTime Ten dumps him to the floor, eliminating Hart Killer 09. We are down to the final two, PrimeTime Ten and Your Favourite Loser, the underdog. PrimeTime clotheslines down the Loser and stomps him repeatedly. PrimeTime is acting a bit arrogant now as Your Favourite Loser is hurting on the mat. He wipes the mat with Loser’s face then kicks him in the back of the head. PrimeTime Ten is looking to hit his patented flying forearm and bounces off of the ropes but he sees Beard Money near the ring and stops. Beard Money yells at him and Your Favourite Loser finally gets up and hits him with a running knee from behind and Beard Money yanks the ropes and that eliminates PrimeTime Ten. And the underdog, Your Favourite Loser has won the battle royal and a date! The crowd is cheering for the underdog, who doesnt know what to do, because he has never won before. Beard Money gets in the ring and asks him to do the do si do but he is still confused as to what has happened. He looks to the crowd for support and they want him to do the do si do and he does!!!!! HA HA HA, GIT DOWN CUZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HA HA HA HA. And we have word that the date will be shown on the next edition of BoD RAW.

BoD Extreme Rules

All matches will feature timekeeper, Mister E Mahn, who is world-renowned for his abilities.

Tables Match for the Tag Team Championship
ABeYance1 & thebraziliankid vs. Adam Curry & Kyle Warne (Champions)

thebraziliankid had his family flown in from Brazil and they are sitting ringside. White Coat Security is their to prevent Parallax from hitting on his aunt. The match is under tornado rules. Everyone is brawling in the ring to start. Curry goes outside and slides in a table, as does Abeyance. Kyle and Adam were reportedly very excited over the RoH show this Saturday, making them two out of 300 people on planet earth who share the same feeling. Abeyance tries to set up the table but Warne boots him in the gut then tosses him to the floor. thebrazilian kid then fires Warne outsides and tries to fly out with a suicide dive but gets speared by Curry. Curry then hits a snap suplex and backbreaker before climbing up top. Abeyance shoves Curry off of the top, narrowly missing a table. Warne then takes Abeyance down with a superplex as bodies are everywhere. The action goes back outside as Abeyance is set up on a table. Warne goes up top but thebraziliankid hops up and tossing him down to the floor. Abeyance gets off of the table and pulls out a can of Aqua Net and a stick. The referee runs over to remind Abeyance that it is not a requirement to respond to every single post then lets him continue. Abeyance sprays two hearty squirts of Aqua Net onto the table and his now rubbing a stick together with his hands in an attempt to start a fire!!!!! GUNS DONT KILL PEOPLE, ABEYANCE KILLS PEOPLE. Abeyance is struggling to get a fire going with the stick and tries a match but he messed it up and there is no fire. thebraziliankid runs over and spears Curry then takes out Warne with a leg lariat. He runs over to his family and he sees his cousins but Abeyance seems to be struggling to figure out which Brazilian is his partner because they all look the same to him. But Curry hits thebraziliankid from behind with a chair and that sends him down. Warne tackles Abeyance and puts him on the table as Curry goes up top and puts thebraziliankid through the table with a 5 Star Frog Splash as they retain the tag belts. Oh my, a lot of miscommunication between the young guns of the BoD.

“Dancin'”Devin Harris vs. Todd “Hoss” Lorenz

GIT DOWN WITH DA D-D-H!!!!! Before the show, Lorenz had turned away the delivery truck that contained snickers bars and shook down the driver for his wallet too. Match starts off with a lockup and the DDH pushes Hoss away, who is irate. DDH dodges a charge and hits some DANCIN PUNCHES!!!!!!!!!!  AND THEN HE DOES A JIG!!!!!!!!!!! HA HA HA, YESSSSIRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!! DDH hits a corner splash then gets two with a bulldog. DDH works a bearhug but Hoss escapes with a bell clap and his on the warpath. He uses clubbing forearms to the back then gets two with a backbreaker. The Hoss puts on his own bearhug as DDH is unable to get funky. He breaks the hold and gets a slam. Hoss is now going up top and this cant end well folks. He tries a splash but the DDH thankfully rolls out of the way and both men are down. The Hoss is up first and they now slug it out. The DDH wins the battle and knocks Hoss right to the mat with a right and look, he is getting FUN-KAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The DDH hits a few clotheslines then boots Hoss through the ropes. Hoss takes a breather outside and places his hand on the guardrail for support. He looks up and sees someone in the stands pull out a Snickers bar from their pocket. The fan peels open the wrapper and goes for a bite and the Hoss is irate. He knocks over the guardrail and slaps the bar out of the fan’s hand. He is screaming at the fan “NO SNICKERS BARS” then picks up the fan by the throat and chokeslams him down. The referee counts to ten as DDH wins the match, via countout. Hoss is now really mad as the concession stand workers are evacuating the area. The music of DDH hits as the BoDettes come into the ring and everyone is GETTIN’ DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hoss cannot handle that others are having fun right now and runs over to the sound system and destroys it all. He grabs the DJ and shakes him down for his wallet before leaving. He then goes back to retrieve the DJ’s hamburger and eats that while walking away as the DDH wonders why the Hoss is so angry.

As the tag champs are interviewed backstage, John Petuka and kbjone stop by and congratulate them on their victory. The shake the hands of the champs then walk away…..

Cage Match
Logan Scisco vs. Tommy Hall

The e-book money continues to funnel in for Tommy as he is sporting a Curtis Enis throwback in addition to his lucky Champion sweatpants. And do I see knock-off designer sunglasses too? They are fake Oakley’s, or Joakley’s if you will. This grudge match is the result of a feud that started after Scisco eliminated Hall at the BoD Rumble. Tommy backtracks and attempts to use the referee as a shield but Scisco unloads on him, still angry at Hall cheating to win at BoD Mania when he used the roll of nickels. Scisco grinds Hall’s face against the cage. He rams his head against each side of the cage as Scisco is getting is revenge. Tommy is begging for mercy but Scisco wont have any of that. He is kicking Tommy repeatedly, who is asking for a timeout. Scisco then rips the Enis throwback off of his body!!!!!!!! You know how many e-books Tommy had to slave over to pay for that? A shitload of ’em. Logan drags Tommy to the opposite corner and sets up for a running knee but Tommy is able to dodge the attack. Tommy takes his Enis throwback and chokes out Logan, making this the only time a Curtis Enis Chicago Bears jersey has ever been useful. Tommy now chops Logan then launches him into the cage. Tommy tries to climb up the cage as Logan slowly makes his way to his feet. He yanks Tommy’s leg, who splats on the mat. Logan stumbles over and drops a few elbows. Logan locks in the sharpshooter as Tommy is bleeding from his forehead. Logan is cranking back as Tommy is withering in pain. After a while, or the time it takes Tommy to sell three e-books, the hold is broken. Logan goes up top now and climbs as Tommy is getting up. Tommy gets to his feet and climbs up with Logan. He pulls Logan down as he slides down the cage. They are both near the bottom of the cage and struggle to climb up. They are both near the top as Logan fires away. He climbs just near the top as Tommy pulls on his leg and that stops Logan for a bit. Tommy reaches in his sweats and pulls out a sock. Its  a loaded sock and he wallops Logan on top of the head twice, as Logan falls off of the cage!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Tommy puts the sock back and we see what appears to be pennies fall out on the mat. Tommy reaches the floor and has won the match! He has done it again with that e-book money. Someone needs to humble him and prevent the flaunting of his cash. Who will stand up to this tyrant?

Backstage, Parallax is asking people if they have seen Officer Farva tonight. No one has seen him at all. Parallax looks concerned.

Special Bonus Match
Mar Solo & JoeDust & YJ2310 vs. White Thunder & Paul Meekin & WWF1987

This was added to the card today. Although they are top 20 posters, we do not know that much about some of these guys but BoD Newz Man Wade Michael Meltzer did some digging and found out some info. Mar Solo once sold a pack of cigarettes to Danny Bonaduce and Joe Dust makes one hell of a cranberry chutney every Christmas. YJ2310 is “Mr. Top 13” and starts off with the one and only blog otter, Paul Meekin. He uses his patented spin kick that takes down everyone from #14 and below on the BoD pecking order. WWF1987 tags and was the man who suggested the “shit” thread to Meekin. WWF1987 works over YJ2310 escapes and tags Joe Dust, who works the arm. White Thunder is on the apron and wants to tag but WWF1987 will not let him. White Thunder gets mad and starts to strut around like the Nature Boy but unlike the Nature Boy, he has money in his pocket. White Thunder tags himself in and gets hit by Mar Solo, who sold cigs to Bonaduce and beat his friends at Double Dribble on NES on his 8th birthday. Mar Solo bounces off of the ropes and hits a back elbow smash. Meekin makes a blind tag and boots Solo down and goes for the Otter Dropper!!!!! He goes for the pin but Mr. Top 13 makes the save and now the match breaks down. The Chutney Master gets dumped by Meekin, who gets dumped by Mar Solo. And now Solo flies out with a plancha. WWF1987 and White Thunder double-team Mr. Top 13 and try for a Hart Attack but Mr. Top 13 escapes and WWF1987 hits Thunder. Mr. Top 13 takes WWF1987 and puts him away with a Death Valley Driver. White Thunder is angry with WWF1987 and they argue until Meekin steps in and breaks it up. Lots of animosity between WWF1987 and White Thunder right now as Meekin is doing his DDP Yoga in between is next thread titled “Most Embarrassing Shart.”

GM Bayless is in the ring. He brings out Steve Ferrari, still bandaged up from his beating at BoD Mania, refusing to call him Extant1979. Bayless tells him that is a bullshit name and it will never be acknowledged. He then tells Ferrari that he will be facing the Unstable tonight.

Steve Ferrari vs. Elvy Landa & Steve Stennick & Gideon Stargrave & Jesse Baker

As the Unstable makes their way to the ring, the police come out to take Elvy away, who was arrested for stalking another porn star on Twitter. It’s now a 3 on 1 match. And again, Baker is stuck in the ropes. Ferrari hits Stennick with a running knee strike and that sends him off of the apron. He goes after Gideon, who responds by punching himself in the face. Ferrari sits back as Gideon hammers away at his own face. Stennick comes from behind and attacks Ferrari. A few White Coat Security guys come out and they hold down Ferrari. Baker frees himself from the ring ropes and has Gideon put a black glove on his hand. Baker approaches Ferrari, who is held by two members of White Coat Security, struggles to get free. Wait a minute, coming from the stands are Nick “The Brick” Piers and Magoonie Teddy Belmont!!!! Two of the finest parking attendant’s the BoD has ever seen. The attack Stennick and Gideon runs away. And Ferrari breaks free as the three midcarders explode!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ITS MIDCARD MADNESS FOLKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They now go over to Baker who is throwing windmill punches while he is still stuck in the ropes. Baker manages to flee as the three midcarders who were targeted by the GM stand triumphant in the ring. The GM CANNOT BE HAPPY ABOUT THIS

Officer Farva vs. Jef Vinson

Vinson is in the ring but Farva is nowhere to be seen. The referee looks over at the wonderful timekeeper and signals for the match to begin. The referee counts and Farva still has not shown up. He finally reaches ten and the match was ended, with Jef Vinson winning by countout. Jef has his arm raised in victory but now here comes Farva, stumbling down the aisle. He has not realized that the match is over. Jef looks over at Farva, who has dropped some gimmicks from his pocket and then falls over as he goes to pick them up. I thought this guy was saved but apparently not. Is this the end of the Farva & Parallax duo?

Culstatus leaves his private dressing room backstage and runs into Jef Vinson, who reminds the champ that he is the older of the Money on the Table briefcase and tonight, he could walk out as the champion.

GM Bayless is backstage and screaming about the midcarders ruining his plans. He says that he will address the issue on the next episode of BoD RAW.

Writers Championship
Kyle Fitta vs. Stranger in the Alps (Champion)

What a battle this is going to be. Stranger took time out of his busy day slaving over old ECW Hardcore TV recaps to defend this prestigious title. Kyle takes control early but Stranger sets him straight with a lariat. He works the leg and might be setting him up for the dreaded Can Opener, which stunned his brother many of times back in their Canadian living room. Kyle fights back and shows some fire but that is stopped with a forearm to the face. Stranger’s Irish whip is reversed and Kyle follows that with a running elbow smash then some chops in the corner. BOD FUN FACT: Kyle’s favorite character from “Pinocchio” is in fact, Pinocchio. Back to the match, Kyle gets some nearfalls with a few suplexes but misses a flying body press and that allows Stranger to connect with the dreaded can opener for the win. Kyle will be in pain for a while.

First Blood Match for the BoD Heavyweight Championship
Parallax1978 vs. Cultstatus (Champion)

There are no disqualifications in this match. The two men stare each other down before the match. I am not 100% certain, but I think the winner of this match will be receiving a visit from Mrs. Whippleman in their hotel room tonight. These two slug it out for a bit then spill outside. Cult ducks a chairshot as Parallax tries to draw blood early. Cult spears him down then rams his head off of the floor. The Pittsburgh Snooze Lord is beating on the Short Carolina Man as they head up the aisle. They are now backstage as the catering tables are once again empty, except for the untouched salad. Cult picks up the table and tosses it at Parallax, who ducks, then takes the tray of Salad but Todd Lorenz grabs the tray and slams it on the ground, yelling “NO SALADS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” That allows Parallax to hit a running knee strike. He drags Cult back  down the aisle and sends him into the guardrail. BREAKING NEWS: Our cameras are backstage as Office Farva is beating on Jef Vinson. HE WAS SOBER THE ENTIRE TIME DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!! Farva is choking him out with a child’s toy stethoscope then tosses him into the wall. Farva and Parallax have devised a plan to win the belt and not have Vinson cash in his briefcase. Parallax still has control as Farva makes his way to the ring. They pick him up and hit a double suplex on the concrete. They roll him inside as Farva slides in a chair. Parallax picks it up but swings and misses as the breeze is felt up in the bleachers. Cult boots down Parallax and fires away. He hits a side slam then drops the leg. He fires Parallax over the top ropes and takes down both Farva and Parallax with a suicide dive as the BoD Arena is going crazy. He takes Farva and drops him with a clothesline. He fires Parallax over near our timekeeper and yanks away the bell and smashes it against Parallax’s face but no blood. He tries it again but Farva stops him and hits Cult, but still no blood. Farva goes into the stands as Parallax has control of the match. He kicks him repeatedly as Farva has come back with a beer bottle. He gives it to Parallax and holds up Cult but from behind, he comes Jef Vinson!!!!!!! He clobbers Farva then throws him down. He goes after Parallax and lights him up near the announcers table. He is seeking revenge from the attack by Farva that was orchestrated by the wife-fucker. Cult reaches for the bottle but a struggle ensues between him and Farva. Cult lets go as Farva drops the bottle, smashing it against the floor. Parallax dodges an attack from Vinson and takes down Cult from behind. He drags him near the broken glass and looks to be setting him up for the curb stomp. He brings Cult up for the move but he blocks it and grabs Parallax’s leg from a crouched position and lifts him up on his shoulders!!!!!!!! The champ shows a lot of strength here but Parallax is able to escape and land on the apron. He waits for Cult to turn around and jumps but Cult is able to catch him. Farva comes back with another beer bottle and swings but Vinson blocks the attempt. Farva takes the bottle and pushes Vinson away and goes for a swing but it misses Cult, who then takes the bottle and smashes it against Parallax’s face, which is a bloody mess, for the win!!!!!!!!! Parallax’s own medicine was used against him. But from behind comes Jobber123 and he attacks Cult but Vinson runs in for the save. And they beat on Jobber until Farva comes over to even the score. Parallax runs over and it is a 3 on 2 brawl as we are outta time.

Daily Network Thread – 5/6/14

First, I apologize for no thread yesterday. I was as sick as I have ever been, but luckily for us we have the Scientific Miracle Connection of Powerade and Aleve. Problem solved!

The Network live stream schedule for today:

9:00 AM ET – RAW Flashback – 3/21/94 – The night after Wrestlemania X; The Bushwhackers vs. The Quebecers.
10:00 AM ET – RAW Flashback – 3/28/94 – Lex Luger vs. Rick Martel.
11:00 AM ET – WWE Countdown – Top ten greatest tag teams.
12:00 PM ET – Wrestlemania Rewind – The Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather from Wrestlemania XXIV.
1:00 PM ET – Warrior’s Greatest Matches – 4/14/14.
2:00 PM ET – TLC: Tables Ladder Chairs 2012 – Ryback & Team Hell No vs. The Shield in a TLC Match; John Cena vs. Dolph Ziggler in a Ladder Match.
5:00 PM ET – Legends’ House – 4/30/14 – “Striking Out” – A bowling competition; the Legends film a commercial.
6:00 PM ET – Beyond the Ring – The Epic Journey of Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.
8:00 PM ET – WWE Main Event Live.
9:00 PM ET – Wrestlemania Rewind – Randy Savage vs. Ted DiBiase from Wrestlemania IV.
10:00 PM ET – WWE Countdown – Top ten greatest villians.
11:00 PM ET – WWE Main Event Replay.