Smackdown – November 6, 2003

Smackdown
Date: November 5, 2003
Location: HSBC Arena, Buffalo, New York
Attendance: 3,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re coming up on Survivor Series and that means things are picking up fast on the blue show. Last week saw most of the Survivor Series match being set up, which may or may not be something that interests you. The big part though: John Cena seems to be turning from the evil side to the good. Let’s get to it.

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Went to Axxess

So as you probably know (or may not), I’m down in New Orleans for the annual Wrestlemania weekend festivities (hence why the reviews are all late, though I’ll get them up ASAP as I have a lot of Saturday free). I’ve got a full week scheduled and first up was the opening session of Axxess.

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Wrestlemania Countdown 2018 Finale: The Smark Rant for Wrestlemania

(Originally written 2002-ish, I think?  Anyway, welcome to the finale of the countdown, as I have actually timed it to end on the correct day and managed to post all 33 Wrestlemania rants!  So enjoy the show on Sunday, and I guess we’ll do this again next year.) 

The SmarK Retro Rant ‘ Wrestlemania 1 (Director’s Cut)

– Yes, it’s another redo of a rant that sucked first time around due to being 5 years ago and all.

Read moreWrestlemania Countdown 2018 Finale: The Smark Rant for Wrestlemania

Wrestlemania Countdown 2018: The SmarK Rant for WWF Wrestlemania 2

The SmarK Retro Rant for WWF Wrestlemania 2

– So while reading over the old WM rants in preparation for the reposts, I couldn’t help but notice that my original rant for this show (from the Coliseum video version) was due for a redo. So here’s the full PPV version, which comes from the VHS releases that came out in 97 or so. Good thing: Completely uncut PPV version complete with ORIGINAL MUSIC. Bad thing: It was recorded in EP mode on low quality tape, so I made sure to only watch it one time, when I recorded it to DVD. Yeah, I could just spring for the Anthology versions, but they’d probably overdub Nikolai Volkoff singing the Russian anthem because they couldn’t afford the music rights. The match lengths appear to be the same, but the interview order is all switched around from the Coliseum video. Anyway, for those who haven’t heard the story a million times, this was the very first wrestling show I ever watched by my own choice, as we rented it for my 12th birthday because the other kids were into wrestling, and then I checked out the weekly TV show as a result and Paul Orndorff like, totally turned on Hulk Hogan, and I was like “Um yeah, I’m watching this for the next 20 years or so unless it really starts to suck or too many people die.”  (My only note here: I totally did buy all the Anthology versions eventually.  And then the WWE Network launched and I was like “Well, shit.”) 

– Live from Long Island NY, Chicago IL, Los Angeles CA. You’d think that they would have learned when Crockett tried that stunt and it didn’t work.

Read moreWrestlemania Countdown 2018: The SmarK Rant for WWF Wrestlemania 2

Wrestlemania Countdown 2018: The SmarK Rant for WWF Wrestlemania III

The SmarK Retro Re-Rant for Wrestlemania III: Championship Edition

– This is another one that needed a redo, and with the “digitally remastered” version playing on 24/7 right now, this is as good a time as any. This version has pop-up video facts and cut-in interviews with the people involved, which is pretty neat and is something lacking on their DVD releases, especially historical ones. And hey, I work cheap and would gladly do text commentaries for all their catalogue releases in my spare time. At any rate, this is the complete PPV version, rather than the more briskly-edited Coliseum version most of us old farts are more familiar with.

Read moreWrestlemania Countdown 2018: The SmarK Rant for WWF Wrestlemania III

WWE 205 Live – 3rd April 2018

WWE 205 Live

3rd April 2018

Nashville, Tennessee

Commentators: Vic Joseph and Nigel McGuinness

It’s the go-home show for the WrestleMania pre-show, grapple fans!  We’ve got Mark Andrews taking on Drew Gulak, more hype for Cedric Alexander and Mustafa Ali’s championship opportunity (#WWEcorporatespeak) this Sunday and lots more.  Let’s get to it!

Hype video for tonight’s show and we should be in for a treat; we’ve also got Hideo Itami and Akira Tozawa taking on Lince Dorado and Gran Metalik as well as Buddy Murphy tangling with Kalisto.  Should be a hot night of cruiserweight action.

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Smackdown – April 3, 2018

Smackdown
Date: April 3, 2018
Location: Bridgestone Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

There are two hours of WWE TV left until Wrestlemania XXXIV, meaning this episode of Smackdown Live is a very important night. You can guess a lot of what you’ll be seeing tonight but at the same time there’s always the chance of a curve ball. I wouldn’t be expecting WWE to add in that many surprises but you never know around here. Let’s get to it.

Read moreSmackdown – April 3, 2018

Wrestlemania Countdown 2018: The SmarK Rant for WWF Wrestlemania IV

(Hey, apologies for just having the WM repost this morning instead of something new, but Disqus was down most of the night and I didn’t want to take the chance of having a wasted post during my busiest week of the year.  By the time you read this, hopefully Disqus is back up again and I’ll crank out a WWE Network rant for the afternoon.) 

The SmarK Retro Re-Rant for Wrestlemania IV

– Live from Atlantic City, NJ.

– Your hosts are Gorilla Monsoon & Jesse Ventura. Ah, those were the days.

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Monday Night Raw – April 2, 2018

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 2, 2018
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Jonathan Coachman

Should he do something? Over the last few weeks, John Cena has come off as a complete jerk to Undertaker, basically demanding that Undertaker come out of what seems to be retirement to face him. Why would Undertaker do this? Well apparently because the people want to see it and nearly thirty years in WWE isn’t enough to make them happy. Or so Cena says. Let’s get to it.

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Smackdown House Show – April 1, 2018

I took in the Smackdown house show last night in Lexington, Kentucky. This was one of the last stops on the Road to Wrestlemania (which was mentioned over and over throughout the night of course, including on the t-shirt). It wasn’t exactly a huge show and the advertised main event (at least in some places) didn’t go through in the end, though a little something started to make up for the changed match. Let’s get to it.

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Wrestlemania Countdown 2018: The SmarK Rant for WWF Wrestlemania V

The SmarK Retro Re-Rant for WWE Wrestlemania V

– For those who remember the fourth Wrestlemania as the WWE’s version of Heaven’s Gate in terms of length and money made, it’s got nothing on the fifth one for sheer length. It didn’t seem so long back when I first watched it, probably because I was only 15 and I had a much longer attention span for stuff like this back then. I originally ranted off the hacked-up Coliseum video version, which was missing an HOUR of stuff, so it’s nice to finally have the full PPV version in all its 220 minute glory. The length might be taxing the storage systems of 24/7, however, because there’s some pixellization every few seconds that’s kinda annoying.

– By the way, if there’s formatting issues with this rant, it’s because I had to re-install OpenOffice when I upgraded to Vista this weekend, and I’m still working out the kinks and trying to get it back exactly the way I had it when I left it.  (Jesus, Windows Vista.  Those were the days.  On with the rant!) 

– Live from Atlantic City, NJ, at Trump Plaza, owned by some guy who we probably will never hear from again.  (Written around the time of the Battle of the Billionaires, for those wondering.) 

– Your hosts are Gorilla & Jesse

Read moreWrestlemania Countdown 2018: The SmarK Rant for WWF Wrestlemania V