QOTD 126: Funny Money

Today’s QOTD suggestion comes from Wes A, whose work I loved in “Anonymous”. 

I was recently reading Cornette’s latest rant on “funny doesn’t draw
What are your thoughts on comedy in wrestling? Should it be
regulated to promos? Do you think comedy matches have a place in the
business? Any examples of good comedy matches/promos that you like?

I love GOOD comedy in wrestling. The key to comedy is playing it straight and not overselling the gag – and restraint isn’t really pro wrestling’s strong suit.

Poor Jared from Subway.

It’s one thing if at RAW 1000 there’s a scene with Mae Young and she’s standing next to a giant foam hand. It’s a hilarious gag for long time fans. But I think at Raw 1000 he went as far as to say “Hi, I’m Mae Young’s Son!” Which over sold the whole dang thing.

You can also get a lot of fun juxtaposition going, too. I watched Survivor Series 2008 I think, and during the pre-match interview Kane and Jeff Hardy were curious why exactly they were working with Triple H, who sent Hardy to hospital and accused Kane of being a murderer, then pretending to have sex with his dead ex girlfriend. It was a great little gag. Toss in Headcheese and all the great Rock v. Hurricane stuff and you’re giving me a ton of reasons to tune in, but I’m not buying a PPV or a ticket because I get to see Santino shave his unibrow, ya know?

That time Foley got The Rock with the “IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK” and then ran around the ring to chants of “Foley! Foley! Foley!” was cool, and wasn’t “This is your life” one of the highest rated RAW segments, ever?

But in terms of selling tickets?

I don’t know. If I rack my brain and think of some of the ‘funny’ moments in big programs I’m a little sour on them. I thought the Rock v. Austin concert thing they did was a little silly and funny, but didn’t really make me want to watch the match. The Spirit Squad was kind of a joke, and The New DX was a gag-a-minute, but didn’t really do anything substantial to transcend just silly jokes.

I DO like that promotions like CHIKARA and Beyond Wrestling have some
fun with wrestling tropes. There’s a bunch of funny ‘slow mo’ matches
that somehow managed to coordinate the audience into a slow mo “This is
awesome” chant, and Beyond Wrestling has Star Man from the NES wrestling
game on the roster. 

Comedy in wrestling is at its best when it’s gratifying the long-time fan. Hogan’s jokes about being old during the Lesnar feud, the time the “new” DX plastered Triple H’s face over a picture of Vince’s granddaughter, Crash Holly fighting in all manner of places against all manner of foes. The Ho Train, Val Venis, Santino’s Power Walk, Molly Holly’s baldness, fuck, even Sexual Chocolate, are all things I remember fondly and with warmth. While there’s not the reasons I watch wrestling, They’re a great reason to keep coming back.  

Remember to vote for the Ottie Awards here!

 Also, have I used this spin gif before? I thought I did but I can’t find where I put it.

BoD Daily Update

Daniel Bryan Update

The decision to keep Bryan off of RAW was done at the last minute by the creative team

Credit Mike Johnson, PWInsider.com

This Week’s Smackdown Main Event Revealed

It will be Big Show vs. Bray Wyatt


The Dish Network Will Carry WrestleMania


WWE PPV Updates

The “Money in the Bank” PPV will take place in June, instead of July, and the “Battleground” PPV will now take place in July

Credit Mike Johnson, PWInsider.com

Kayfabe Commentaries “YouShoot” with the Insane Clown Posse Released Today

Below is a clip of the trailer

Punk/Straight Edge

Here's a debate a few of us had drunk last night: did Punk's straight edge lifestyle directly lead to his departure? Everyone raved about how healthy & "younger" he looked on Talking Dead after only a relatively short time off. Do you think he hit a point where he was so banged up, but didn't have the old school (and awful) avenue of booze & pills to recover? Wrestling's need of an off season aside, isn't it better that a smaller guy like him walks away for a while instead of making terrible decisions?
Of course that led to an awesomely terrible confession that I fear for Daniel Bryan's life and concern he'll end up like he who shall not be named but only featured on the network. Tackle any and all of these ramblings. -Ronnie Vod
Oh, clearly Punk trying to fight through injuries and road life and banging hot skanks without painkillers was a major contributing factor to his burnout and troubles.  I don't think any sane person blames him for his decision.  

Daily Network Thread – 3/25/14

The live stream schedule for today:

9:00 AM ET – RAW Flashback – 7/12/93 – Crush vs. Yokozuna
10:00 AM ET – RAW Flashback – 7/19/93 – Marty Jannetty vs. Shawn Michaels – IC Title Match
11:00 AM ET – WWE Superstars – 3/20/14 – R-Truth/Xavier Woods vs. 3MB
12:00 PM ET – WWE NXT – 3/20/14 – Sheamus vs. Aiden English
1:00 PM ET – RAW Backstage Pass – 3/24/14
1:30 PM ET – Wrestlemania XXVIII – The Rock vs. John Cena – ONCE ONCE ONCE in a Lifetime
5:30 PM ET – Beyond the Ring – For All Mankind: The Life and Career of Mick Foley
8:00 PM ET – Main Event LIVE – Big E vs. Christian – IC Title Match
9:00 PM ET – Wrestlemania Rewind – Bret Hart vs Owen Hart and Yokozuna at Wrestlemania X
10:00 PM ET – WWE Countdown – Top Ten Biggest Blunders
11:00 PM ET – Main Event REPLAY – Big E vs. Christian – IC Title Match

Recommended viewing: I’m going out on a limb here and suggesting WCW Fall Brawl ’94. It has a very good Johnny B. Badd/Lord Steven Regal TV Title match, the usual Sting vs. Vader awesomeness (after you sit through a triple threat with The Guardian Angel aka The Big Boss Man), and there’s a War Games match. Steve Austin gets screwed out of the US title, but HEY! He came out Ok, I think.

Wrestlemania pattern?

This probably has no relevance, but I was just thinking, at WM X, Bret Hart who was a smaller wrestler, walked out as world champ. Ten years later at WM XX, Eddie Geurrero and Chris Benoit, who were smaller wrestlers both walked out as champs. Now, Daniel Bryan, a smaller wrestler has the chance to walk out as champion ten years later at WM XXX. 

Am I reading into this too much?

I'd sure warn Daniel about potential head injuries if this was the case.  

RVD & Dreamer 2001

Hi, i was wondering if you knew the backstory to RVD & Tommy Dreamer signing with wwf in 2001?
When did they sign?- Same time as Rhyno, Taijiri, Spike, Lynn, Credible or were they quickly signed to deals when they decided to have ECW join the WCW invasion.

Were there ever any other plans on how to debut them before they added ecw to the invasion storyline?

Pretty sure that they came in with Heyman, and there was definitely no big plans for them beforehand, especially given the chaotic nature of the booking at that time.  

RAW Rundown: 3-24-14

March 24, 2014

Live from Brooklyn, NY

Your hosts are JBL, Jerry Lawler, and Michael Cole

The show starts with a video highlight package on last week’s brutal beatdown of Daniel Bryan at the hands of HHH.

Stephanie comes out to the ring and tells the crowd that Daniel Bryan will not be here and mentions that she saw on social media how the fans thought HHH went too far last week and she agrees, but adds that they want to show that any subordination will not be tolerated. She then calls the “Yes Movement” a fad, causing the crowd to start a giant “YES” chant. The crowd then starts a “WHAT” and a “CM Punk” chant as she goes on about her family’s tradition and how the fans need them for leadership.

Randy Orton’s music hits and tells Stephanie that he respects her as the crowd starts a Daniel Bryan chant that Steph acknowledges by telling the crowd he is not going to show up. Orton then says after HHH beats Bryan, he will beat him and Batista to a pulp. He then offers a suggestion of letting HHH beat Bryan to a pulp and leave WrestleMania a winner by walking away from the title match afterwards.

A boring chant ensues then Batista comes out. The crowd boos him as Batista’s mic goes in and out as he yells at the crowd to deal with it as he leaves Mania the champ. This segment has now turned into a trainwreck as Batista gets a mic that works as he tells Steph that HHH has never beaten him. Batista then tells Orton that he makes him sick because he is drooling all over Steph, then adds that Steph has been drooled on a lot. Steph then smacks the glasses off of his face, which has Orton crack up. Batista sees this and spears him then picks up both title belts and raises them in the air before leaving. The actual segment was horrible and something you would expect from watching the first year of TNA but the crowd was lively and made it come across better than it was.

Christian pinned Dolph Ziggler in a “Fatal Four Way” that also included Sheamus and Alberto Del Rio to become the #1 Contender to the Intercontinental Title (11:55) **3/4. 

Solid match that got a lot better after the break. Ziggler looked the best he has in months here and he even busted out a top rope X Factor. He got a lot of cheers too. Sheamus continues to struggle since returning from injury. Del Rio continues to coast along. The finish saw Christian sneak in and pin Ziggler with the Killswitch after he hit the Zig Zag on Del Rio. After the match, Big E came into the ring and extended his hand to Christian, who laughed before walking away. They will face off tomorrow night on Main Event.

Bray Wyatt cuts a promo on Cena about how he is shoved down everyone’s throat but wonders if Cena sees what he is? Harper then said that they were coming to find him as Bray closes by saying run.

 A Plug for the Scooby Doo WrestleMania DVD.

Sin Cara d. Damien Sandow (1:08) 1/4*.

Cara came out with Scooby in the “Mystery Machine.” He put away Sandow with the senton in a little over a minute. Sandow won the MiTB Briefcase nine months ago and now he loses clean as a sheet in under a minute. Its not like he should have been a champion or anything but he has a great character and in a company that is lacking that, he can certainly be used better. The crowd didnt give a shit about this and the only noise they made was a light chant for CM Punk. Overall, it was a harmless plug for the DVD.

A video of the Shield getting destroyed on Smackdown by the New Age Outlaws, Real Americans, and Curtis Axel & Ryback

Los Matadores d. Curtis Axel & Ryback (1:01) NR

Cole lets us know that Axel & Ryback have been pulled from the WrestleMania Battle Royal and will now face the Usos for the Tag Titles at WrestleMania. The announcers played that up as Kane making a deal with them. The finish saw Diego rollup Axel, who was distracted by the Shield. The Shield then surround the ring and beat them down, complete with the triple powerbomb. The segment was designed to show that the Shield was pissed and out for revenge, not to build up the challengers for the Tag Titles.

Michael Cole is sitting in the ring and brings out HHH. After HHH is shown the footage of his beatdown on Daniel Bryan, he smirked. Cole asked him about how could he justify his attack. HHH tells Cole that is question is confusing then asks him if he wants to answer that as a COO or as a competitor. HHH then tells Cole that Bryan put people in harms way when he occupied RAW two weeks ago and asks Cole where was his outrage for that. HHH says that Bryan asked for the Game, not for the COO, then blames Bryan and the fans for forcing his hand and now, Bryan got what he deserved and that people will cry. HHH then goes on about how people are soft today and when he was a competitor he saw the lust for success from others but now he just sees apathy. He now sees pathetic, little people without power or desire and the cry when they dont get what they want and mocks the crowd that they should send him a tweet to show their displeasure. HHH then says that maybe it is up to him to change thing and says that he might start the “reality era” and at WrestleMania he ends Daniel Bryan’s run at the top as well as the “Yes Movement” then plans to enter the triple threat match and no one living off of their “past glory” or “untapped potential” will stop him and will walk out as the World Heavyweight Champion. A great job on the mic by HHH

Cody Rhodes d. Fandango (2:45) 1/2*

The announcers spent the match talking about “Total Diva’s” and just about anything else that was going on. Cody got the win with the Disaster Kick after Fandango was distracted by Goldust dancing with Summer Rae. After the match they teased some tension between Summer Rae and Fandango. When this duo ends, Fandango is screwed.

Hulk Hogan comes out to pump up the crowd then brings out Joe Manganiello and Arnold Schwarzenegger, who plug their film “Sabotage.” Arnold put over Hulk’s physique. Manganiello kinda looks like a pro wrestler. He puts over Hogan then Arnold lets Hogan know that Andre the Giant was one of his favorite wrestlers and had a great time with him on the set of “Conan the Destroyer” then asks Hogan if he and Joe could enter the Battle Royal at WrestleMania. The Miz interrupts wearing a suit and does his “Really” bit and puts over his two straight-to-DVD films. He then says that he is a tough guy and not an actor, like those two, then proclaims that he will win the Andre the Giant Battle Royal. Miz then says that people are still talking about him when he defeated Cena at WM 27. Miz then tells them all that they do not belong here as Joe dares the Miz to throw him out. Joe towered over him. The Miz tries a sneak attack but Joe blocks the punch then Arnold hits him before Hulk tosses him to the floor. The segment was fine and Arnold was great and seemed very thrilled to be there.

Big Show d. Titus O’Neill (2:22) 1/4*

Show beat him with the KO punch. Titus’s offense looked pretty bad. His stomps need a lot of work as they showed a ton of light. The announcers put over the Battle Royal and at one point Titus tried to dump Show over the top rope. The Show is being pushed as the favorite to win the Battle Royal.

The Shield interrupts Stephanie and HHH and asks where they stand. HHH said that whatever happens between them and Kane & The Outlaws is between them as Stephanie books them in a match against the Real Americans.

Cena is in the bathroom mirror, breathing heavy and splashing water on his face when he sees Rowan’s sheep mask. He turns around and it went away as the announcers talk about his match against Luke Harper tonight.

John Cena NC Luke Harper (15:05) ***

Good match. The crowd was pro-Wyatt family and Harper received a ton of chants throughout the match, which made him come off like a star. The finish saw the lights go out and when they came back on, Cena was tied up in the ropes while wearing Rowan’s sheep mask. That had the crowd start a “This is Awesome” chant. The match was nice but the finish was more about extending the storyline than declaring a winner.

Naomi d. AJ Lee by countout (1:10) NR

AJ and Tamina walked out of the match and got counted out on purpose. Then, Vicki Guerrero’s music hit and she called AJ a bitch and told her that at WrestleMania, she will be facing all of the other Diva’s on the roster, including Tamina, in the “Vickie Guerrero Invitational.” The crowd heavily booed Eva Marie when she was announced. Whatever, I mean, this division is garbage and if they want to get everyone on the card, then do that and make everyone happy. I imagine that AJ retains and in the process screws over Tamina as at least that is somewhat interesting but who knows what will happen.

The Shield (Rollins & Ambrose) d. The Real Americans (13:58) ***1/4

Rollins pinned Swagger with the Peace of Mind (curb stomp). Match was good and nice to see the Brooklyn crowd really go crazy for the Shield, especially Rollins who is thriving as a face. He had an awesome dive sequence during the match. Ambrose does not make for a good babyface wrestler but Reigns and Rollins are becoming crowd favorites. The crowd also did a few “We the People” chants during the match. The Shield also powerbombed Cesaro through the announcers table. After the match ended, Kane and the New Age Outlaws, wearing suits, came out. Kane told the Shield that they will be facing them at WrestleMania.

And now, the final segment. Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar come out to the ring as Heyman more or less cuts the same promo he has been for the past few weeks about Brock beating the Undertaker at WrestleMania. Then, we hear some chanting and see druids approach the ring. A casket is now in front of the ring as Brock is getting anxious. He finally opens it and reveals nothing. Then, after almost five minutes,the casket opens as Taker pops out. Heyman runs away. Taker then hammers away on Brock and clotheslines him over the ropes as he bounces off of the casket and lands on the floor. Then, Brock points at the WrestleMania sign as Taker gives the throat slash gesture. I thought this segment was a pile of shit and way too corny overall. And as far as the buildup to the match itself, no one is buying Lesnar at all and Taker has destroyed him in each confrontation so far. If this match doesnt end up being good, there is a chance the crowd could turn because they only selling the Undertaker as a special attraction exclusive to Mania and if his match does not deliver, then it is a complete waste.

Final Thoughts: Certainly not the greatest show and the lack of Daniel Bryan can be disappointing to some but they have at least built up WrestleMania better than it had been as recently as a few weeks ago. HHH was great on the mic and the Wyatt/Cena feud is getting better each week. The intrigue for the World Title match is growing too. They now have less than two weeks to hype the matches on the show.

The PG Era Rant: Raw, 3-24-14

When last we left our heroes, their
backs were against the wall. Daniel Bryan was left in a heap on Raw,
while the Shield was dismantled on SmackDown. As the biggest city in
America gets ready to host the biggest Raw on the road to
WrestleMania, will the balance of momentum swing back in the favor of
the fans’ choices? Or does a milestone Mania have all the makings of
gloom and doom?
The PG Era Rant for Raw, March 24,
Your hosts are the usual suspects.

Your pre-show reports:
  1. Your guest panelist is Mick Foley,
    because of course it is.
  2. Brock Lesnar and the Undertaker
    will appear tonight.
  3. John Cena and Luke Harper will
  4. Your Superstars match: Summer Rae
    (w/Fandango) v. Emma.
  5. I’ll be honest: the recap of the
    beating makes it more palatable than it was live, to me anyway.
  6. Daniel Bryan will not be on the
    show tonight, according to his Twitter.
  7. Another Superstars match involves
    R-Truth and Xavier Woods against Drew McIntyre and Jinder Mahal.
    Again, I think.
  8. Special guests include Arnold
    Schwarzenegger, Joe Manganiello, and Hulk Hogan.
  9. The Shield will address the
    Authority tonight.
We open with another look at the
beatdown video package.
Stephanie McMahon is out first as we
begin the show proper. Cole promises a sitdown interview with HHH
for later. Stephanie thanks the audience for coming and says that
Daniel Bryan is a scratch due to injuries. A lot of people on social
media thought they went too far last week. Stephanie agrees with
them, but they needed to do it to send a message to Daniel Bryan and
everyone else: insubordination will not be tolerated. The YES
Movement is a passing fad, and it won’t create a false leader.
(Crowd: YES!) And the only way to get the point across was to be
drastic. Leadership isn’t always doing the popular thing. That’s
what leadership is about, and people need to be led by people like…
well, her. The McMahons have led the WWE forever (Crowd: CM PUNK!).
Stephanie was born into power, and she’s the only one who can handle
this responsibility. Last week, we found out who owns the WWE and
why HHH is The Game, the Cerebral Assassin, and the Greatest Of All
Time. He’s the most powerful man in WWE. At WrestleMania, HHH will
leave Daniel Bryan dead and become WWE Champion. This hype job is
interrupted… by Randy Orton. Orton is telling Stephanie to calm
down on his way to the ring.
Orton isn’t out here to argue with
Stephanie or disrespect her. He does respect both Stephanie and HHH
too much to do what he has to do to HHH at WrestleMania. Orton says
if, Stephanie says when. Orton says he can’t be held responsible,
and with the entire McMahon family in attendance (Crowd: “DANIEL
BRYAN!” Stephanie: “Chant all you want, he’s not here.”),
Orton will beat both Batista and HHH to a pulp. Stephanie may be a
gifted, smart, intelligent, savvy businesswoman, but Orton has
something to suggest: let HHH give Daniel Bryan another beating and
leave a winner… by not entering the title match. Crowd is getting
sick of the sucking up, and Batista’s entrance is not going to help
Batista is being driven crazy by the
arguing and the stupid chants, when the big picture is right there:
Hollywood Dave is the next WWE Champion. Batista doesn’t care who
the third man is, and he doesn’t care about Orton, because he’s going
to win the title, so DEAL WITH IT. The microphone keeps going in and
out, so Batista drops it and Stephanie offers hers instead. Lawler
thinks the mic went out on purpose. Batista may respect Hunter, but
Hunter has never beaten Batista. So if he’s there, he won’t win
there either, nor will Orton, who makes Batista sick. Why is Orton
sucking up to the Authority. “Lean in a little closer and just
drool on her a little more.” He hates to break Orton’s heart, but
Steph’s been drooled on before. A lot. Oh no he didn’t!
Stephanie slaps Dave (rightly so) as
Orton nearly collapses in laughter. Stephanie walks out in disgust,
so Batista takes out his frustration by spearing Orton. He poses
with the belts for an angry crowd before walking away.
Later tonight, Michael Cole will
interview HHH in the ring. Plus, Scooby Doo and Mystery Inc. are in
town! On top of that, John Cena will face Luke Harper in a SmackDown
rematch. On top of that, Hulk, Ahnold, and Joe the Man are in the
house. But there’s more! Undertaker and Brock Lesnar are both in
the building! Cole: “Is it WrestleMania season or what?”
#1 Contenders Match: Alberto Del Rio
v. Christian v. Dolph Ziggler v. Sheamus.

Winner faces Big E Langston on Main Event for the Intercontinental
Title. Everyone attacks to start as Sheamus chases Christian and Del
Rio attacks Dolph. Low kick by Del Rio gets one. Slingshot
shoulderblock by Sheamus on Del Rio, but Dolph rolls him up for one.
Slugfest, with Sheamus winning it but putting his head down. Doesn’t
matter, as Sheamus gives the Irish Hammer and kneedrop for one on
Dolph. Dolph avoids a slam and gets a dropkick as Christian covers
for one. Heels take advantage, with Christian low-bridging Sheamus
and diving out, but Sheamus catches him and gives him a fallaway slam
to the barricade. Dolph knocks Del Rio out of the ring, but Sheamus
goes for the Ten of Clubs. Del Rio misses the step-up enzuigiri
(looked like a botch), so Dolph drops Sheamus out of the ring and
dropkicks Del Rio for two (nice cover). Christian pulls Dolph out
and throws him into the barricade. He picks Sheamus up, but he gets
the worst of that as Sheamus does a Cactus clothesline into the
timekeeper area as we go to break.
Observation: Del Rio got hung up
badly on the ropes when he tried his enzuigiri and slipped. I wonder
if his knee is 100%.
Four-Way, part two.
Dolph pounds away on Del Rio, who reverses a whip but gets caught
with an elbow only to flapjack Dolph. Sheamus trips Del Rio and does
a Finlay Roll on the floor, but Christian attacks and gets the worst
of it, going into the post. Christian goes up and bodypresses Dolph,
who rolls through for two. Christian gets the edge (sorry) and
stomps away. Uppercut by Christian, and he steps on Dolph’s head for
two. Dolph punches away, but Christian dumps Dolph out of the ring
and stands alone until Sheamus is behind him. Irish Hammers follow,
then a shoulder ram and kneelift. Del Rio caught with the Irish
Curse and Christian is dumped. Del Rio rolls to the apron, but
Sheamus finds him for the Ten of Clubs. Del Rio drops to the floor,
leaving Sheamus alone, so he dives from the top rope… no, wait, he
gets caught up top by the X-Factor from Dolph for two. Crowd thought
it was the finish. Dolph goes for ten punches on Christian, followed
by the Rude Awakening. Dolph catches Del Rio with the Leaping DDT
for two. Christian hangs Dolph up on the ropes, but gets caught
coming in by the Fam… no, it’s a powerbomb by Christian for two.
Del Rio breaks with the Low Superkick for two, Sheamus saves. He
tries the Cloverleaf on Del Rio, eventually getting it hooked, but he
breaks to slam Christian down. Brogue Kick is signaled, but Del Rio
intercepts and gets the Cross Armbreaker. He fights through, hooks
the arms, and… Dolph with the Zig Zag on the pile! But Christian
gets the Killswitch for the win on Dolph at 11:56. This REALLY
picked up after the break. ***1/4
Langston offers a good luck handshake, but Christian refuses.
to the Wyatt Family. Bray has the whole world in his hands. Most
people don’t believe in things they can’t see or touch; that’s human
nature. But in Cena’s case, we see him. How can you miss everything
he does shoved down your throat? Bray is curious, though: does Cena
see what Bray is? He leads to the City of Woe and Eternal Pain. He
stands beyond time. So… what could Cena do to harm something that
doesn’t feel? Harper can hear Cena whisper, and now they’re after
him. Run.
look at the Scooby-Doo WrestleMania movie, the first ever movie made
specifically to be inducted into WrestleCrap.
Mystery Machine enters the building! And out comes Sin Cara with a
Six Flags mascot of Scooby Doo. Sin Cara even busts out the
over-the-top trampoline entrance for old times’ sake.
Cara v. Damien Sandow.

No entrance for Damien. Damien works over the gut of Cara, then
gets pulled away as a Scooby Doo chant begins. Sin Cara lands on the
apron on a dump and gets a springboard Coco Butt and bodypress. Cara
with a headscissors and Tajiri elbow for two. Cara catches the
lifting kick and goes up top, and the Senton Bomb finishes at 1:08.
Just some corporate synergy.
week, Kane tried to claim Occupy Raw was Lawler’s fault, but the
Shield refused to play ball. So on SmackDown, there was a four-way
tag match, and all three teams and Kane decided to gang up on the
Shield, complete with the New Age Outlaws taking part. We go to
commercial on it. We come back with the SmackDown ad asking if Kane
has ended the Shield and tune in on Friday to find out.
Matadores v. Rybaxel.
find out that both men have been withdrawn from the Andre Battle
Royal and will instead face the Usos at Mania. Epico attacks Axel to
start, getting a chop and a criss-cross before Axel gets a dropkick.
Axel drops elbows, but the crowd is distracted as the Shield heads to
the ring. They stand in the crowd, which allows Epico to roll Axel
up for the pin at 1:01. Now the Shield head to the ring with a much
nicer pop than last week and surround Rybaxel. Reigns pulls Axel
out, allowing Ryback to be double-teamed. Axel is thrown into the
barricade, and Reigns spears Ryback. It’s Triplebomb time. Crowd
loved this much more than they loved the attack on Kane.
lot of movie stars are in the building! Hulk! Ahnold! Joe Man!
Batista… wait, sorry, I said movie stars. Never mind. But up
next, Michael Cole will talk to Triple H in the ring.
the Hall of Fame on WWE Network! Warrior! Roberts! Mr. T! Bearer!
Lita! Colon!
Cole introduces HHH, but he doesn’t seem too happy to do so. Lawler
even notes it. JBL and Lawler talk about the attack last week as HHH
enters. Cole notes this is usually a dot-com thing, but Cole felt it
had to happen on Raw in front of the fans, because of this last week.
Cole’s first question: how can you justify that? HHH says it’s a
confusing question, since he sees being COO and being a competitor
are two different things. See, Bryan knew what he was asking for, as
were the fans, and so they got what they wanted. Now HHH asks if
Cole has had no choice but to submit to someone else’s will. Cole
points out the handcuffs from last week, but HHH means the Occupy Raw
segment. HHH says that Bryan came out and got the fans to go into
harm’s way so that he could take over in a coup. So Cole, where was
your mock horror to all of that? Oh, that was memorable, but HHH was
despicable? Cole says it’s because they were inspired by Bryan, but
HHH was being a thug and acting beneath his station. HHH plays the
COO/competitor duality card. Daniel Bryan wanted the Game and he got
it, despite HHH’s reluctance. Everyone forced the issue and forced
his hand. So now that HHH is a competitor, he did what HHH does.
And that’s what Daniel Bryan deserved. And now, people will cry.
HHH stopped competing (he says), the world’s gone soft. He used to
do despicable things, and he saw the lust for success in other
people. They fought back and fought the system, but now he sees
apathy and softness. The crowd is just pathetic little people with
no power or desire who cry when they don’t get what they want. HHH
tells them to tweet him about how they feel. He’s sick of the whole
thing, so he’s going to have to step up and change the future. So he
has to start the Reality Era. As of right now, the Reality Era
begins, meaning: he will win and end the run at the top. (He’s
tossed the chair aside and Cole takes a step back in nerves.) HHH
will end the YES Movement at WrestleMania and go into the triple
threat match. No one living off of their past or off their untapped
potential will stop him. Why? Because Reality is that he’s got the
power to make it happen and they know it. That’s Reality: he’s going
to walk out the champ. And with that, HHH leaves.
next, John Cena faces Luke Harper. Also, Brock Lesnar and Undertaker
are both in the building.
I’m probably the only one who feels this way, but HHH saying “I
will win because I can make sure I win” just took me out of the
moment. I don’t want to be reminded that Paul Levesque can book
himself to win. I want to believe he’s strong enough to win twice
and that Daniel Bryan is a major underdog. That’s one thing HHH got
right last week – his massive beating made him a massive favorite
over Daniel Bryan, and he did what Orton and Batista couldn’t. The
last thing we need is for the curtain to be pulled back at all. I
got bad Russo vibes on that segment. Otherwise, an excellent
look back on Goldust against Fandango and Cody saving Summer Rae…
and how she appreciated it.
v. Cody Rhodes.

Cody with a wristlock, but Fandango elbows out but walks into a drop
toehold. Cody with a cradle for one, then he punches Fandango.
Brisco rollup is blocked by Fandango, who stomps away. Springboard
legdrop gets two. Fandango with an uppercut and wristlock suplex for
two. He goes to a top wristlock, but Cody punches out only to get
beaten down. Cody with a clothesline to cue the comeback. Fandango
dumps Cody, who lands on the apron and comes in with a dropkick for
two. Fandango blocks a whip, but Cody gets one only for heads to
collide. Goldust decides to mock Summer Rae (“Are you mocking me?”
“YES I AM!”), and a DANCE-OFF breaks out until Summer twists her
ankle. Fandango stares in disbelief, so Cody gets the Disaster Kick
to win at 2:45. Goldust moonwalks to celebrate. 1/2*
Summer Rae seems fine. JBL cracks the worst pun ever.
a sneak peek at Sabotage, featuring Arnold and Joe Man! (Sorry, I’m
only spelling those names out once.) They’ll all be here tonight,
next, alongside Hulk Hogan!
in the house! The Wednesday Dot-Com interview will be Hogan instead
of HHH. Hogan doesn’t mean to be nostalgic or crybaby, but geez,
we’re two weeks away from WrestleMania. It was in New York (not
Brooklyn, but still) that WrestleMania 1 happened, with Hogan and Mr.
T making history. Hogan’s excited about Mania 30 and about the Andre
Battle Royal. He’s also excited about meeting Ahnold and Joe Man,
from Sabotage, so he brings them out. (For the record, he mangles
Joe Man’s last name too.) They come out to Abdullah’s Hall of Fame
music. Ahnold is happy to be in Brooklyn. See, a year ago, he was
in New York inducting Bruno Sammartino into the Hall of Fame. Today,
he’s in a Raw ring with Hulk Hogan, another great hero of his. Look
at him! He’s huge! Cheer him! (That’s not me; that’s a summary of
Ahnold.) He also wants a big hand for Joe Man, who is pumped to be
hosting his first ever Raw, RIGHT HERE IN BROOKLYN! (No thumbs up,
sadly.) But he’s also pumped to be in the ring with two icons in
Ahnold and Hogan. Ahnold asks about the Andre Battle Royal (“Andre
the Giant is one of my favorite wrestlers of all times.”), and he
says he and Andre were good friends and Andre visited him on the set
of Conan the Destroyer. He asks Hogan if there’s room for two more.
But we interrupt this love-fest with the Miz.
You two in the battle royal?” He asks the crowd if they really
want to see this (they do). Really??? Hey, he loves Ahnold and he’s
gonna go see the movie and all. And he knows Ahnold is a fan of his,
too. (“You boo, but you know you watched it.”) But see, you’re
just actors, you’re not a tough guy. Miz is a tough guy who acts.
And that’s why Miz will win the Andre Battle Royal. There’s no act
here, he will win.
offers a wake-up call: this is Hogan Country. Miz, though, is the
most must-see WWE Superstar ever. He main evented a WrestleMania and
defeated John Cena! And hey, Ahnold and Joe Man don’t belong in
wrestling. Neither does Hogan anymore. Hogan’s ready to fight, but
Joe Man tells Miz to MAKE them leave. A shoving match breaks out,
and Miz seemingly walks off, but tries to sucker punch Joe. Joe
blocks and returns fire, and two actors and a senior citizen beat up
Miz. Well, if HHH would job to Ahnold, so can Miz, right? Right?
and Brock Lesnar are both here tonight!
Today had a piece on the Rock being Hercules, a role he was born to
O’Neil v. Big Show.

Now, to be fair, I liked this match on Main Event, so let’s see if
this measures up. Lockup won by Big Show as he punches away and
smacks Titus hard with a chop. SILENT CHOP OF DOOM follows, then a
Hammer Throw, but the blind charge eats boot. Titus clubs away on
Show, kicking to keep Show down. Legdrop connects for two, brother.
Titus stays on him, pounding away in the corner, and getting a Vader
Avalanche twice over. Show reverses a whip as a CM Punk chant comes
out, but the charge misses and Titus tackles down Show for two.
Titus yells at Show and clubs him down, punching away and
clotheslining him halfway out of the ring. Show returns with a spear
and pulls the straps down, and the WMD finishes it at 2:24.
Disappointing after their Main Event outing. 3/4*
the Authority are hanging out when The Shield enters. Rollins says
he knows they know what happened, and he wants to know where the hell
HHH was since Kane is the Authority guy and the Outlaws are HHH Guys.
So where do they stand? HHH says it’s none of his business, and
between the participants only. Stephanie says that if they want to
vent, they can get We The People. Then they can sit down and discuss
this. Believe it.
Cena is focusing in a mirror in the locker room restroom. Erick
Rowan is watching around the corner, but ducks away when Cena whirls
around. That match is later tonight. Cena/Harper, I mean.
look at the match from SmackDown to set up…
Cena v. Luke Harper.

Something tells me the Brooklyn crowd will favor Chikara alum Luke
Harper over John Cena. The crowd claps along with the Wyatt theme
music. Harper wild-eyed stare is a thing of beauty. Cena gets a
waistlock, but gets knocked down. Harper with headbutts and he rips
at the nose. Crowd is firmly behind Harper, who Hammer Throws Cena.
Harper checks with Wyatt for strategy before picking up Cena and
punching him out. It gets two. Cena locks another punch and fires
back, but runs into a backbreaker for two. Harper chops away on Cena
with the crowd egging him on. Cena reverses and punches away,
getting a Stinger Splash, but running into a forearm smash.
Pumphandle fallaway slam thing gets two. Harper dumps Cena to the
outside. Harper eventually follows out, getting a throat thrust and
slamming Cena into the apron as the crowd chants Fruity Pebbles.
Cena drops Harper’s throat on the top rope, but runs into a high
elbow on his way back in and we go to break.
part two.

We come back with Harper holding a headlock, but Cena pries it out
and begins the comeback… only to run into an inverted atomic drop
and big boot for two. Harper with an uppercut as the fans do the
Cena chants for Harper. Cena with a German suplex for two. AA try,
but Harper is out and superkicks Cena for two. Harper measures Cena,
but the discus lariat misses and Cena gets the Protobomb. Cena has
his mojo back now, but Harper kicks him to stop You Can’t See Me and
gets the Michinoku Driver for two. Harper sets up for a powerbomb,
but the Cenacanrana leads to an STF try. Harper powers Cena out of
the ring to block. Harper with a tope suicida (!!) to Cena to knock
Cena into the barricade. Even Harper doesn’t believe what Harper
did. Harper throws Cena in and looks for advice from Bray. He
stalks in, but Cena hooks the STF out of nowhere. Harper claws the
eyes to break, then kicks at the leg and nails a DDT for two. Harper
is confused – well, more so than usual – and works over Cena in
the corner. He puts Cena up top, then uppercuts him off, then PULLS
HIM BACK UP. It’s a butterfly superplex try, but Cena powers out of
the butterfly hold and punches Harper down. Diving Famouser gets
two. Bray is exhausted and he’s just watching. Commentary is making
a big deal out of Harper. Cena with another Protobomb and a quick
Five Knuckle Shuffle, staring at Bray as he picks Harper up. Harper
slips out and gets a wheelbarrow slam for two. Harper readies in the
opposite corner, but Cena nails Harper on the charge with a
clothesline. Another AA try, but then the Wyatts interrupt as they
do and during the blackout there’s noises of a scuffle. We return
with Cena tied in the ropes and a sheep’s mask on. The Family looks
over him and says they’ve shown his true face. Call the match at
14:15 or so. Follow the Buzzards. Crowd loves it because Cena looks
bad. Shame, because that match should’ve had an ending – Harper
deserved it. ***1/2
and Drew Brees, alongside the Boys and Girls Club, are doing a global
auction for charity.
a reminder: tomorrow night, Big E Langston defends against Christian
for the Intercontinental Title on Main Event Live.
now for some mood whiplash as we go from looking at Cena being masked
and tied up to…
v. AJ Lee.

New Jersey girl AJ Lee gets cheers. Of course there are CM Punk
chants. AJ mocks Naomi’s half-eyesight and is instantly dropkicked.
Naomi slides to the apron on a whip and gets a high kick. Butt butt
is dodged as AJ bails. She has the belt and doesn’t need the match,
walking out at 1:10. So AJ is still Divas’ Champion… even though I
don’t remember the belt being on the line.
wait, here’s Vickie Guerrero. Vickie isn’t happy about what AJ said
on SmackDown. She’s willing to forgive the history between the two –
but AJ’s still a real bitch. So, at WrestleMania, AJ Lee will defend
in the Vickie Guerrero Divas’ Championship Invitiational. The
opponents: Naomi, Cameron, Brie, Nikki, Natalya, Eva Marie, Emma,
Aksana, Alicia Fox, Summer Rae, Rosa Mendes, Layla, and Tamina.
Basically everyone. AJ looks sick. Tamina smiles at the belt as
Vickie laughs.
go back to Main Event, where Paul Heyman addressed the Taker/Brock
match and got choked down, with Taker saying he’d be in Brooklyn and
Brock can find him. They’re both here! Tonight! On RAW! Plus, we
have one more person to enter the Hall of Fame. I think I saw who
this was based on a Facebook spoiler, but we’ll see.
So that’s fourteen people in the Divas’ Title match. And yet, I’m
certain AJ still wins. My friend says they’re putting the belt on
Eva Marie because Total Divas wants them to and WWE has sold out.
Then again, Batista would be facing Orton one on one if they sold out
totally, so… we’ll see.
our final entrant into the WWE Hall of Fame (show to be hosted by
Jerry Lawler) is… SCOTT HALL! And it looks like he’s going in as
Razor Ramon. Let’s hope Kevin Nash inducts him. Though honestly, I
would’ve put them in together as the Outsiders. Eh, I guess they can
deserve to go in separately. Also, much love to DDP for saving him
and Jake Roberts.
look back at how Batista crossed about fifty lines. It’s the opening
segment. Scroll up. Next week, Batista and Orton will meet, and in
Batista’s hometown of Washington, DC! (It’s my hometown too, btw.)
Meanwhile, Daniel Bryan says he’s not medically cleared to be at Raw.
Shield are headed to the ring as we look back on SmackDown. Revenge
is coming – they hope – after the break.
SmackDown, our main event is Bray Wyatt against Big Show.
Ambrose and Seth Rollins v. Antonio Cesaro and Jack Swagger.

The fight begins in the aisle. Crowd is on We The People’s side.
The bell rings with Ambrose and Cesaro starting. Cesaro punches down
Ambrose, who avoids a charge and punches back. He stomps a mudhole
in Cesaro, then rakes Cesaro’s eyes on the top rope. Cesaro recovers
with a kneemsash, but the Shield do the Hart Attack for one. Cesaro
punches out of an arm wringer, and Swagger enters only to get punched
down by Rollins. Rollins with the Three Amigos to Swagger (which
starts an Eddie chant), and the third one is a double suplex by the
Shield. It gets two. Ambrose punches down Swagger and gets the
Power Drive Elbow for one. Ambrose ties Swagger up and gets a
dropkick. Rollins enters and gets a dropkick of his own for two.
Rollins chops away, bringing Ambrose in for a double-team. He floors
Swagger for two. Ambrose ties up Swagger’s legs and hooks the nose,
but Cesaro distracts and Swagger gets a high spinebuster. Cesaro in,
and he uppercuts like a lunatic, adding a stomp to the back for two.
Cesaro chokes out Ambrose on the ropes, and Swagger gets a
belly-to-belly for two. Vaderbomb and leapfrog stomp follows,
getting two for Cesaro. Cesaro with a chinlock on Ambrose, who boxes
out but runs into a turnbuckle. Swagger in, and he stomps away and
goes for a second Vaderbomb. It hits boot. Ambrose up to the middle
rope, and a big uppercut connects. Cesaro cuts off the tag with a
big boot to Rollins, but he turns around into a backdrop… that he
reverses to the GIANT SWING OF DOOM (15 rotations) for two, Rollins
saves. Cesaro and Rollins go at each other before Cesaro knocks
Ambrose to the floor. Swagger tags in and goes outside, as We the
People throw him into the barricade and we go to break.
it seems like Cesaro’s the only over person in this match right now.
part two.

Ambrose kicks Swagger away, but Cesaro stops the tag and gets a
front chancery. Crowd now cheers the Shield as Ambrose fights out
and gets a backslide for two. Cesaro kicks him down and slaps him
(“Let’s go Shield, huh?”), but each slap just fires Ambrose up
and makes him ask for more. He fires back on Cesaro, but gets booted
hard only to reply with a massive lariat. Hot tag Rollins, and
Swagger gets the worst of it with a big boot and chops. Flying kick
and a Stinger Splash follow. STO into the middle turnbuckle gets
two. Cesaro charges and gets monkey flipped into the third row, and
Rollins sends Swagger to the floor before diving onto each man
individually. Crowd is going ballistic for Rollins. Back in,
springboard kneesmash gets two, Cesaro saves. Ambrose tackles Cesaro
and pounds away, but gets T-Boned over the top and out. Rollins
clears out Cesaro, but Swagger launches Rollins into the Patriot
Lock. He makes the ropes. Swagger alley-oops Rollins, who lands on
his feet and gets the enzuigiri and Blackout (now named the Piece of
Mind) for the pin at 13:57. ***1/2
Cesaro cleans out Rollins, but gets Superpunched by Reigns. He then
spears Cesaro on the outside. The Shield clears the table and chases
Colter away, bringing Cesaro over and Triplebombing him through the
table. Crowd is going nuts.
wait – Kane’s on his way to the ring with the New Age Outlaws, all
in suits. Kane says that there will be a six-man tag at
WrestleMania: Kane and the Outlaws v. Shield. At Mania, they will
annihilate the Shield. Believe that. Quick and painless.
Lesnar is here, and he’s headed to the ring.
said this in my recaps yet, so let’s say it now: HERE COMES THE PAIN!
Brock’s shirt reads I’m A Paul Heyman (Guy crossed out) Beast.
Heyman introduces himself and Brock Lesnar, then talks about the
Streak and how big a deal it is. In fact, it’s not just a Streak,
but an Undefeated Streak. So when Brock Lesnar breaks it by beating
the Undertaker, it will take nothing away from what the Deadman has
done. Twenty-one straight wins is a big deal. For example: John
Cena couldn’t do 21 in a row. Andre the Giant didn’t go 21 in a row.
Brock Lesnar couldn’t even do it. WrestleMania is a big deal, where
titles are won, grudges are settled, and one era ends while another
begins. The only guaranteed ticket to immortality is if you Break
The Streak. So when the Undertaker choked Heyman down or when he
attacked Lesnar on Raw… and Brock wants the mic.
Paul; enough.” Brock Lesnar is not here for the hype; he wants a
fight. He knows Undertaker is here, so he wants the fight right now!
get the Ominous Latin Chanting and a casket. We get some druids to
surround the casket and wheel it to the ring. Heyman is nervous as
Brock is waiting. The druids place the casket by the ring and exit.
Lesnar smirks at the casket, clearly waiting for the Undertaker to
emerge. The chanting continues as we reach a standoff of sorts.
Lesnar approaches the casket, kicking at the hood and trying to
activate the Undertaker within. Heyman is so nervous he’s unable to
stand. Lesnar keeps pounding on the casket. The chanting keeps
going, by the way. Heyman decides to leave, but Lesnar’s going
nowhere. He finally opens the casket…
it’s empty. Well, that was anticlimactic. Lesnar’s not amused. “Is
this some kind of joke!?” He begins to yell at the Druids,
following them as they back away. Lesnar then returns to the empty
casket and closes it. Crowd wants the Undertaker himself, as does
Lesnar. Heyman tries to talk Lesnar into staying, saying it’s all a
mind game. The Streak is Brock’s holy grail. So if the Undertaker
challenges Brock Lesnar to show up and doesn’t show up? Really? The
only thing he brings is an empty casket?
it’s not empty anymore.
now in it, and he’s sitting up and ready. Heyman just about loses
it. Lesnar, in fact, is taken aback. Heyman tells Lesnar to run for
it. Brock attacks and gets the worst of it, as Undertaker pounds
away. Taker clotheslines Lesnar onto the casket headfirst as Heyman
tells Lesnar to bail. Lesnar is impressed, and just points to the
sign in response – and Undertaker returns. The crowd is so into
this they chant for Randy Savage. Undertaker gets them back on his
side as the gong sounds and his music plays.
knew they wouldn’t have Daniel Bryan or CM Punk for tonight in Ring
of Honor’s backyard, so they knew they had to deliver something that
fired on all cylinders. Did they? Well, they came close if they
didn’t. Harper/Cena made the Wyatt Family a big deal. Shield/People
was a great match, and the Shield now has all the momentum. The only
thing I didn’t like was HHH breaking the fourth wall, but that’s a
minor nitpick because he was so on point tonight otherwise. Even
Batista and Stephanie brought it large.
wasn’t much wrestling going on, but it’s WrestleMania ramp-up season,
so you don’t expect much. Also, it’s clear they want to get everyone
on the show, given some of the names in the Andre match (Heath
Slater! Justin Gabriel! Zack Ryder!) and the Vickie match. It’s
also interesting to see them set up stories that will carry over
after WrestleMania.
you had told me that the Brooklyn Raw would miss Daniel Bryan and CM
Punk and it would still entertain me, you’d likely have made some
TIME: only 48:36 over eight matches
MATCH: Shield/People
MATCH: Matadores/Rybaxel
MVP: Luke Harper
SCORE: 8. And this doesn’t even include the Family/Shield dark match
I hear being set up in the background of Backstage Pass.
almost there, folks! Brian Bayless will tell me what I was wrong
about later tonight; Tommy Hall will look over Impact and SmackDown;
Scott Keith will give you NXT; and on Saturday, I’ll review the MSG
show from June 3, 1991. I’ll join you in the Main Event live thread
if I’m able. See you then.
the meantime – Hey, Scott! Think you can get me a press pass for
Raw in DC?

Monday Night Open Mic

Howdy BoD’ers!

Speaking of Phil Hickerson, look at him schooling these two kids Jim and Steve. What the hell would they ever amount to anyway?

Not much to talk about this week. Waiting for the next big thing to pop up on the Network whether it be Shotgun Saturday Night, old AWA shows, Wrestling Challenges from the 80s or NWA Worldwide. I need something though. I might review Wrestlemania 28 this week if I can find the four-hour block to watch it.

Wrestlemania buildup just continues to be rough. And the idea of Billy Gunn and The Roadie trying to leech off of a hot act like the Shield is HIGHLY annoying unless they just don’t get any offense EVER. Like every match should be Gunn and Dogg taking ridiculous ass kickings and Reigns putting his foot on both of their chests for victories. Obviously the RIGHT choice was Harper and Rowan but hell I would’ve taken Ryback and Axel because at least they could benefit from a program with the Shield and gain a little traction.

This might be HHH’s true issue. He needs new, younger friends. All of his buds are in their 40s or 50s. Sheamus is like his only friend under 40.

Oh well the rain cancel my son’s baseball game tonight so I’ll try to labor through as much of this marathon RAW as I can. Watching those 1993 RAWs and even back when I did NWA Worldwide made me appreciate the joys of an hour-long show.

So enjoy this and come out swinging but by all means try to keep it clean!

Inside Scotts (in)box 4: Best Multiple Match Performance

Hey, here’s a good one from a Mr. Mallonee: 

In honor of Daniel Bryan’s impending multiple match performance at WM 30
who do you feel had the best performance at a PPV when they wrestled
more than once? My personal favorite is Kurt Angle at King of the Ring
when he fought Christian, Edge, and Shane-O Mac all in one night but I
thought you and the Blog of Doom might have other ideas.  

Actually I think you nailed it. I generally have an issue with Wrestler vs. Non Wrestler matches – for example even though Hogan and Vince had a great match, I thought it was weird that while Hogan is old he’s still a ‘wrestler’ whereas Vince just sort of has matches occasionally. In a kayfabe sense, Hogan should dominate Vince. See also: Flair vs. Vince, and so on. 

Now of course to have an entertaining match that can’t happen, but it’s a thing that can take you out of the narrative at least a bit.
Which is why I loved the above mentioned Kurt Angle pick. Since Angle had already wrestled twice, it would make sense to believe he was tired and weakened, and it gave Shane a fighting chance – though most of the match was Angle engaging in legalized assault and battery of a person smaller and less athletic than he is – which is generally how I do it too.
And my history is maybe fuzzy, but this was THE PPV that made Angle a legit star. If wiki is to be believed following this event the ‘Invasion’ started proper, and it was Angle as the proverbial American Hero against the evil WCW.
Aside from that, I’d imagine some of the folks doing doing crazy Japanese death matches deserve some credit. I don’t have the testes to watch the Funk vs. Foley exploding ring match, and I don’t know how good it was, but I’m assuming both dudes were so insanely tired and beat up that any actual match they had would be a victory in and of itself.
Speaking of Foley, it probably doesn’t count but didn’t he run in for the finish of the Austin v. Kane match at King of The Ring after taking those insane bumps?