When last we left our heroes, their
backs were against the wall. Daniel Bryan was left in a heap on Raw,
while the Shield was dismantled on SmackDown. As the biggest city in
America gets ready to host the biggest Raw on the road to
WrestleMania, will the balance of momentum swing back in the favor of
the fans’ choices? Or does a milestone Mania have all the makings of
gloom and doom?
The PG Era Rant for Raw, March 24,
Live from BROOKLYN, BROOKLYN!
Your hosts are the usual suspects.
Your pre-show reports:
Your guest panelist is Mick Foley,
because of course it is.
Brock Lesnar and the Undertaker
will appear tonight.
John Cena and Luke Harper will
Your Superstars match: Summer Rae
(w/Fandango) v. Emma.
I’ll be honest: the recap of the
beating makes it more palatable than it was live, to me anyway.
Daniel Bryan will not be on the
show tonight, according to his Twitter.
Another Superstars match involves
R-Truth and Xavier Woods against Drew McIntyre and Jinder Mahal.
Again, I think.
Special guests include Arnold
Schwarzenegger, Joe Manganiello, and Hulk Hogan.
The Shield will address the
We open with another look at the
beatdown video package.
Stephanie McMahon is out first as we
begin the show proper. Cole promises a sitdown interview with HHH
for later. Stephanie thanks the audience for coming and says that
Daniel Bryan is a scratch due to injuries. A lot of people on social
media thought they went too far last week. Stephanie agrees with
them, but they needed to do it to send a message to Daniel Bryan and
everyone else: insubordination will not be tolerated. The YES
Movement is a passing fad, and it won’t create a false leader.
(Crowd: YES!) And the only way to get the point across was to be
drastic. Leadership isn’t always doing the popular thing. That’s
what leadership is about, and people need to be led by people like…
well, her. The McMahons have led the WWE forever (Crowd: CM PUNK!).
Stephanie was born into power, and she’s the only one who can handle
this responsibility. Last week, we found out who owns the WWE and
why HHH is The Game, the Cerebral Assassin, and the Greatest Of All
Time. He’s the most powerful man in WWE. At WrestleMania, HHH will
leave Daniel Bryan dead and become WWE Champion. This hype job is
interrupted… by Randy Orton. Orton is telling Stephanie to calm
down on his way to the ring.
Orton isn’t out here to argue with
Stephanie or disrespect her. He does respect both Stephanie and HHH
too much to do what he has to do to HHH at WrestleMania. Orton says
if, Stephanie says when. Orton says he can’t be held responsible,
and with the entire McMahon family in attendance (Crowd: “DANIEL
BRYAN!” Stephanie: “Chant all you want, he’s not here.”),
Orton will beat both Batista and HHH to a pulp. Stephanie may be a
gifted, smart, intelligent, savvy businesswoman, but Orton has
something to suggest: let HHH give Daniel Bryan another beating and
leave a winner… by not entering the title match. Crowd is getting
sick of the sucking up, and Batista’s entrance is not going to help
Batista is being driven crazy by the
arguing and the stupid chants, when the big picture is right there:
Hollywood Dave is the next WWE Champion. Batista doesn’t care who
the third man is, and he doesn’t care about Orton, because he’s going
to win the title, so DEAL WITH IT. The microphone keeps going in and
out, so Batista drops it and Stephanie offers hers instead. Lawler
thinks the mic went out on purpose. Batista may respect Hunter, but
Hunter has never beaten Batista. So if he’s there, he won’t win
there either, nor will Orton, who makes Batista sick. Why is Orton
sucking up to the Authority. “Lean in a little closer and just
drool on her a little more.” He hates to break Orton’s heart, but
Steph’s been drooled on before. A lot. Oh no he didn’t!
Stephanie slaps Dave (rightly so) as
Orton nearly collapses in laughter. Stephanie walks out in disgust,
so Batista takes out his frustration by spearing Orton. He poses
with the belts for an angry crowd before walking away.
Later tonight, Michael Cole will
interview HHH in the ring. Plus, Scooby Doo and Mystery Inc. are in
town! On top of that, John Cena will face Luke Harper in a SmackDown
rematch. On top of that, Hulk, Ahnold, and Joe the Man are in the
house. But there’s more! Undertaker and Brock Lesnar are both in
the building! Cole: “Is it WrestleMania season or what?”
#1 Contenders Match: Alberto Del Rio
v. Christian v. Dolph Ziggler v. Sheamus.
Winner faces Big E Langston on Main Event for the Intercontinental
Title. Everyone attacks to start as Sheamus chases Christian and Del
Rio attacks Dolph. Low kick by Del Rio gets one. Slingshot
shoulderblock by Sheamus on Del Rio, but Dolph rolls him up for one.
Slugfest, with Sheamus winning it but putting his head down. Doesn’t
matter, as Sheamus gives the Irish Hammer and kneedrop for one on
Dolph. Dolph avoids a slam and gets a dropkick as Christian covers
for one. Heels take advantage, with Christian low-bridging Sheamus
and diving out, but Sheamus catches him and gives him a fallaway slam
to the barricade. Dolph knocks Del Rio out of the ring, but Sheamus
goes for the Ten of Clubs. Del Rio misses the step-up enzuigiri
(looked like a botch), so Dolph drops Sheamus out of the ring and
dropkicks Del Rio for two (nice cover). Christian pulls Dolph out
and throws him into the barricade. He picks Sheamus up, but he gets
the worst of that as Sheamus does a Cactus clothesline into the
timekeeper area as we go to break.
Observation: Del Rio got hung up
badly on the ropes when he tried his enzuigiri and slipped. I wonder
if his knee is 100%.
Four-Way, part two.
Dolph pounds away on Del Rio, who reverses a whip but gets caught
with an elbow only to flapjack Dolph. Sheamus trips Del Rio and does
a Finlay Roll on the floor, but Christian attacks and gets the worst
of it, going into the post. Christian goes up and bodypresses Dolph,
who rolls through for two. Christian gets the edge (sorry) and
stomps away. Uppercut by Christian, and he steps on Dolph’s head for
two. Dolph punches away, but Christian dumps Dolph out of the ring
and stands alone until Sheamus is behind him. Irish Hammers follow,
then a shoulder ram and kneelift. Del Rio caught with the Irish
Curse and Christian is dumped. Del Rio rolls to the apron, but
Sheamus finds him for the Ten of Clubs. Del Rio drops to the floor,
leaving Sheamus alone, so he dives from the top rope… no, wait, he
gets caught up top by the X-Factor from Dolph for two. Crowd thought
it was the finish. Dolph goes for ten punches on Christian, followed
by the Rude Awakening. Dolph catches Del Rio with the Leaping DDT
for two. Christian hangs Dolph up on the ropes, but gets caught
coming in by the Fam… no, it’s a powerbomb by Christian for two.
Del Rio breaks with the Low Superkick for two, Sheamus saves. He
tries the Cloverleaf on Del Rio, eventually getting it hooked, but he
breaks to slam Christian down. Brogue Kick is signaled, but Del Rio
intercepts and gets the Cross Armbreaker. He fights through, hooks
the arms, and… Dolph with the Zig Zag on the pile! But Christian
gets the Killswitch for the win on Dolph at 11:56. This REALLY
picked up after the break. ***1/4
Langston offers a good luck handshake, but Christian refuses.
to the Wyatt Family. Bray has the whole world in his hands. Most
people don’t believe in things they can’t see or touch; that’s human
nature. But in Cena’s case, we see him. How can you miss everything
he does shoved down your throat? Bray is curious, though: does Cena
see what Bray is? He leads to the City of Woe and Eternal Pain. He
stands beyond time. So… what could Cena do to harm something that
doesn’t feel? Harper can hear Cena whisper, and now they’re after
look at the Scooby-Doo WrestleMania movie, the first ever movie made
specifically to be inducted into WrestleCrap.
Mystery Machine enters the building! And out comes Sin Cara with a
Six Flags mascot of Scooby Doo. Sin Cara even busts out the
over-the-top trampoline entrance for old times’ sake.
Cara v. Damien Sandow.
No entrance for Damien. Damien works over the gut of Cara, then
gets pulled away as a Scooby Doo chant begins. Sin Cara lands on the
apron on a dump and gets a springboard Coco Butt and bodypress. Cara
with a headscissors and Tajiri elbow for two. Cara catches the
lifting kick and goes up top, and the Senton Bomb finishes at 1:08.
Just some corporate synergy.
week, Kane tried to claim Occupy Raw was Lawler’s fault, but the
Shield refused to play ball. So on SmackDown, there was a four-way
tag match, and all three teams and Kane decided to gang up on the
Shield, complete with the New Age Outlaws taking part. We go to
commercial on it. We come back with the SmackDown ad asking if Kane
has ended the Shield and tune in on Friday to find out.
Matadores v. Rybaxel. We
find out that both men have been withdrawn from the Andre Battle
Royal and will instead face the Usos at Mania. Epico attacks Axel to
start, getting a chop and a criss-cross before Axel gets a dropkick.
Axel drops elbows, but the crowd is distracted as the Shield heads to
the ring. They stand in the crowd, which allows Epico to roll Axel
up for the pin at 1:01. Now the Shield head to the ring with a much
nicer pop than last week and surround Rybaxel. Reigns pulls Axel
out, allowing Ryback to be double-teamed. Axel is thrown into the
barricade, and Reigns spears Ryback. It’s Triplebomb time. Crowd
loved this much more than they loved the attack on Kane.
lot of movie stars are in the building! Hulk! Ahnold! Joe Man!
Batista… wait, sorry, I said movie stars. Never mind. But up
next, Michael Cole will talk to Triple H in the ring.
the Hall of Fame on WWE Network! Warrior! Roberts! Mr. T! Bearer!
Cole introduces HHH, but he doesn’t seem too happy to do so. Lawler
even notes it. JBL and Lawler talk about the attack last week as HHH
enters. Cole notes this is usually a dot-com thing, but Cole felt it
had to happen on Raw in front of the fans, because of this last week.
Cole’s first question: how can you justify that? HHH says it’s a
confusing question, since he sees being COO and being a competitor
are two different things. See, Bryan knew what he was asking for, as
were the fans, and so they got what they wanted. Now HHH asks if
Cole has had no choice but to submit to someone else’s will. Cole
points out the handcuffs from last week, but HHH means the Occupy Raw
segment. HHH says that Bryan came out and got the fans to go into
harm’s way so that he could take over in a coup. So Cole, where was
your mock horror to all of that? Oh, that was memorable, but HHH was
despicable? Cole says it’s because they were inspired by Bryan, but
HHH was being a thug and acting beneath his station. HHH plays the
COO/competitor duality card. Daniel Bryan wanted the Game and he got
it, despite HHH’s reluctance. Everyone forced the issue and forced
his hand. So now that HHH is a competitor, he did what HHH does.
And that’s what Daniel Bryan deserved. And now, people will cry.
HHH stopped competing (he says), the world’s gone soft. He used to
do despicable things, and he saw the lust for success in other
people. They fought back and fought the system, but now he sees
apathy and softness. The crowd is just pathetic little people with
no power or desire who cry when they don’t get what they want. HHH
tells them to tweet him about how they feel. He’s sick of the whole
thing, so he’s going to have to step up and change the future. So he
has to start the Reality Era. As of right now, the Reality Era
begins, meaning: he will win and end the run at the top. (He’s
tossed the chair aside and Cole takes a step back in nerves.) HHH
will end the YES Movement at WrestleMania and go into the triple
threat match. No one living off of their past or off their untapped
potential will stop him. Why? Because Reality is that he’s got the
power to make it happen and they know it. That’s Reality: he’s going
to walk out the champ. And with that, HHH leaves.
next, John Cena faces Luke Harper. Also, Brock Lesnar and Undertaker
are both in the building.
I’m probably the only one who feels this way, but HHH saying “I
will win because I can make sure I win” just took me out of the
moment. I don’t want to be reminded that Paul Levesque can book
himself to win. I want to believe he’s strong enough to win twice
and that Daniel Bryan is a major underdog. That’s one thing HHH got
right last week – his massive beating made him a massive favorite
over Daniel Bryan, and he did what Orton and Batista couldn’t. The
last thing we need is for the curtain to be pulled back at all. I
got bad Russo vibes on that segment. Otherwise, an excellent
look back on Goldust against Fandango and Cody saving Summer Rae…
and how she appreciated it.
v. Cody Rhodes.
Cody with a wristlock, but Fandango elbows out but walks into a drop
toehold. Cody with a cradle for one, then he punches Fandango.
Brisco rollup is blocked by Fandango, who stomps away. Springboard
legdrop gets two. Fandango with an uppercut and wristlock suplex for
two. He goes to a top wristlock, but Cody punches out only to get
beaten down. Cody with a clothesline to cue the comeback. Fandango
dumps Cody, who lands on the apron and comes in with a dropkick for
two. Fandango blocks a whip, but Cody gets one only for heads to
collide. Goldust decides to mock Summer Rae (“Are you mocking me?”
“YES I AM!”), and a DANCE-OFF breaks out until Summer twists her
ankle. Fandango stares in disbelief, so Cody gets the Disaster Kick
to win at 2:45. Goldust moonwalks to celebrate. 1/2*
Summer Rae seems fine. JBL cracks the worst pun ever.
a sneak peek at Sabotage, featuring Arnold and Joe Man! (Sorry, I’m
only spelling those names out once.) They’ll all be here tonight,
next, alongside Hulk Hogan!
in the house! The Wednesday Dot-Com interview will be Hogan instead
of HHH. Hogan doesn’t mean to be nostalgic or crybaby, but geez,
we’re two weeks away from WrestleMania. It was in New York (not
Brooklyn, but still) that WrestleMania 1 happened, with Hogan and Mr.
T making history. Hogan’s excited about Mania 30 and about the Andre
Battle Royal. He’s also excited about meeting Ahnold and Joe Man,
from Sabotage, so he brings them out. (For the record, he mangles
Joe Man’s last name too.) They come out to Abdullah’s Hall of Fame
music. Ahnold is happy to be in Brooklyn. See, a year ago, he was
in New York inducting Bruno Sammartino into the Hall of Fame. Today,
he’s in a Raw ring with Hulk Hogan, another great hero of his. Look
at him! He’s huge! Cheer him! (That’s not me; that’s a summary of
Ahnold.) He also wants a big hand for Joe Man, who is pumped to be
hosting his first ever Raw, RIGHT HERE IN BROOKLYN! (No thumbs up,
sadly.) But he’s also pumped to be in the ring with two icons in
Ahnold and Hogan. Ahnold asks about the Andre Battle Royal (“Andre
the Giant is one of my favorite wrestlers of all times.”), and he
says he and Andre were good friends and Andre visited him on the set
of Conan the Destroyer. He asks Hogan if there’s room for two more.
But we interrupt this love-fest with the Miz.
You two in the battle royal?” He asks the crowd if they really
want to see this (they do). Really??? Hey, he loves Ahnold and he’s
gonna go see the movie and all. And he knows Ahnold is a fan of his,
too. (“You boo, but you know you watched it.”) But see, you’re
just actors, you’re not a tough guy. Miz is a tough guy who acts.
And that’s why Miz will win the Andre Battle Royal. There’s no act
here, he will win.
offers a wake-up call: this is Hogan Country. Miz, though, is the
most must-see WWE Superstar ever. He main evented a WrestleMania and
defeated John Cena! And hey, Ahnold and Joe Man don’t belong in
wrestling. Neither does Hogan anymore. Hogan’s ready to fight, but
Joe Man tells Miz to MAKE them leave. A shoving match breaks out,
and Miz seemingly walks off, but tries to sucker punch Joe. Joe
blocks and returns fire, and two actors and a senior citizen beat up
Miz. Well, if HHH would job to Ahnold, so can Miz, right? Right?
and Brock Lesnar are both here tonight!
Today had a piece on the Rock being Hercules, a role he was born to
O’Neil v. Big Show.
Now, to be fair, I liked this match on Main Event, so let’s see if
this measures up. Lockup won by Big Show as he punches away and
smacks Titus hard with a chop. SILENT CHOP OF DOOM follows, then a
Hammer Throw, but the blind charge eats boot. Titus clubs away on
Show, kicking to keep Show down. Legdrop connects for two, brother.
Titus stays on him, pounding away in the corner, and getting a Vader
Avalanche twice over. Show reverses a whip as a CM Punk chant comes
out, but the charge misses and Titus tackles down Show for two.
Titus yells at Show and clubs him down, punching away and
clotheslining him halfway out of the ring. Show returns with a spear
and pulls the straps down, and the WMD finishes it at 2:24.
Disappointing after their Main Event outing. 3/4*
the Authority are hanging out when The Shield enters. Rollins says
he knows they know what happened, and he wants to know where the hell
HHH was since Kane is the Authority guy and the Outlaws are HHH Guys.
So where do they stand? HHH says it’s none of his business, and
between the participants only. Stephanie says that if they want to
vent, they can get We The People. Then they can sit down and discuss
this. Believe it.
Cena is focusing in a mirror in the locker room restroom. Erick
Rowan is watching around the corner, but ducks away when Cena whirls
around. That match is later tonight. Cena/Harper, I mean.
look at the match from SmackDown to set up…
Cena v. Luke Harper.
Something tells me the Brooklyn crowd will favor Chikara alum Luke
Harper over John Cena. The crowd claps along with the Wyatt theme
music. Harper wild-eyed stare is a thing of beauty. Cena gets a
waistlock, but gets knocked down. Harper with headbutts and he rips
at the nose. Crowd is firmly behind Harper, who Hammer Throws Cena.
Harper checks with Wyatt for strategy before picking up Cena and
punching him out. It gets two. Cena locks another punch and fires
back, but runs into a backbreaker for two. Harper chops away on Cena
with the crowd egging him on. Cena reverses and punches away,
getting a Stinger Splash, but running into a forearm smash.
Pumphandle fallaway slam thing gets two. Harper dumps Cena to the
outside. Harper eventually follows out, getting a throat thrust and
slamming Cena into the apron as the crowd chants Fruity Pebbles.
Cena drops Harper’s throat on the top rope, but runs into a high
elbow on his way back in and we go to break.
We come back with Harper holding a headlock, but Cena pries it out
and begins the comeback… only to run into an inverted atomic drop
and big boot for two. Harper with an uppercut as the fans do the
Cena chants for Harper. Cena with a German suplex for two. AA try,
but Harper is out and superkicks Cena for two. Harper measures Cena,
but the discus lariat misses and Cena gets the Protobomb. Cena has
his mojo back now, but Harper kicks him to stop You Can’t See Me and
gets the Michinoku Driver for two. Harper sets up for a powerbomb,
but the Cenacanrana leads to an STF try. Harper powers Cena out of
the ring to block. Harper with a tope suicida (!!) to Cena to knock
Cena into the barricade. Even Harper doesn’t believe what Harper
did. Harper throws Cena in and looks for advice from Bray. He
stalks in, but Cena hooks the STF out of nowhere. Harper claws the
eyes to break, then kicks at the leg and nails a DDT for two. Harper
is confused – well, more so than usual – and works over Cena in
the corner. He puts Cena up top, then uppercuts him off, then PULLS
HIM BACK UP. It’s a butterfly superplex try, but Cena powers out of
the butterfly hold and punches Harper down. Diving Famouser gets
two. Bray is exhausted and he’s just watching. Commentary is making
a big deal out of Harper. Cena with another Protobomb and a quick
Five Knuckle Shuffle, staring at Bray as he picks Harper up. Harper
slips out and gets a wheelbarrow slam for two. Harper readies in the
opposite corner, but Cena nails Harper on the charge with a
clothesline. Another AA try, but then the Wyatts interrupt as they
do and during the blackout there’s noises of a scuffle. We return
with Cena tied in the ropes and a sheep’s mask on. The Family looks
over him and says they’ve shown his true face. Call the match at
14:15 or so. Follow the Buzzards. Crowd loves it because Cena looks
bad. Shame, because that match should’ve had an ending – Harper
deserved it. ***1/2
and Drew Brees, alongside the Boys and Girls Club, are doing a global
auction for charity.
a reminder: tomorrow night, Big E Langston defends against Christian
for the Intercontinental Title on Main Event Live.
now for some mood whiplash as we go from looking at Cena being masked
and tied up to…
v. AJ Lee.
New Jersey girl AJ Lee gets cheers. Of course there are CM Punk
chants. AJ mocks Naomi’s half-eyesight and is instantly dropkicked.
Naomi slides to the apron on a whip and gets a high kick. Butt butt
is dodged as AJ bails. She has the belt and doesn’t need the match,
walking out at 1:10. So AJ is still Divas’ Champion… even though I
don’t remember the belt being on the line.
wait, here’s Vickie Guerrero. Vickie isn’t happy about what AJ said
on SmackDown. She’s willing to forgive the history between the two –
but AJ’s still a real bitch. So, at WrestleMania, AJ Lee will defend
in the Vickie Guerrero Divas’ Championship Invitiational. The
opponents: Naomi, Cameron, Brie, Nikki, Natalya, Eva Marie, Emma,
Aksana, Alicia Fox, Summer Rae, Rosa Mendes, Layla, and Tamina.
Basically everyone. AJ looks sick. Tamina smiles at the belt as
go back to Main Event, where Paul Heyman addressed the Taker/Brock
match and got choked down, with Taker saying he’d be in Brooklyn and
Brock can find him. They’re both here! Tonight! On RAW! Plus, we
have one more person to enter the Hall of Fame. I think I saw who
this was based on a Facebook spoiler, but we’ll see.
So that’s fourteen people in the Divas’ Title match. And yet, I’m
certain AJ still wins. My friend says they’re putting the belt on
Eva Marie because Total Divas wants them to and WWE has sold out.
Then again, Batista would be facing Orton one on one if they sold out
totally, so… we’ll see.
our final entrant into the WWE Hall of Fame (show to be hosted by
Jerry Lawler) is… SCOTT HALL! And it looks like he’s going in as
Razor Ramon. Let’s hope Kevin Nash inducts him. Though honestly, I
would’ve put them in together as the Outsiders. Eh, I guess they can
deserve to go in separately. Also, much love to DDP for saving him
and Jake Roberts.
look back at how Batista crossed about fifty lines. It’s the opening
segment. Scroll up. Next week, Batista and Orton will meet, and in
Batista’s hometown of Washington, DC! (It’s my hometown too, btw.)
Meanwhile, Daniel Bryan says he’s not medically cleared to be at Raw.
Shield are headed to the ring as we look back on SmackDown. Revenge
is coming – they hope – after the break.
SmackDown, our main event is Bray Wyatt against Big Show.
Ambrose and Seth Rollins v. Antonio Cesaro and Jack Swagger.
The fight begins in the aisle. Crowd is on We The People’s side.
The bell rings with Ambrose and Cesaro starting. Cesaro punches down
Ambrose, who avoids a charge and punches back. He stomps a mudhole
in Cesaro, then rakes Cesaro’s eyes on the top rope. Cesaro recovers
with a kneemsash, but the Shield do the Hart Attack for one. Cesaro
punches out of an arm wringer, and Swagger enters only to get punched
down by Rollins. Rollins with the Three Amigos to Swagger (which
starts an Eddie chant), and the third one is a double suplex by the
Shield. It gets two. Ambrose punches down Swagger and gets the
Power Drive Elbow for one. Ambrose ties Swagger up and gets a
dropkick. Rollins enters and gets a dropkick of his own for two.
Rollins chops away, bringing Ambrose in for a double-team. He floors
Swagger for two. Ambrose ties up Swagger’s legs and hooks the nose,
but Cesaro distracts and Swagger gets a high spinebuster. Cesaro in,
and he uppercuts like a lunatic, adding a stomp to the back for two.
Cesaro chokes out Ambrose on the ropes, and Swagger gets a
belly-to-belly for two. Vaderbomb and leapfrog stomp follows,
getting two for Cesaro. Cesaro with a chinlock on Ambrose, who boxes
out but runs into a turnbuckle. Swagger in, and he stomps away and
goes for a second Vaderbomb. It hits boot. Ambrose up to the middle
rope, and a big uppercut connects. Cesaro cuts off the tag with a
big boot to Rollins, but he turns around into a backdrop… that he
reverses to the GIANT SWING OF DOOM (15 rotations) for two, Rollins
saves. Cesaro and Rollins go at each other before Cesaro knocks
Ambrose to the floor. Swagger tags in and goes outside, as We the
People throw him into the barricade and we go to break.
it seems like Cesaro’s the only over person in this match right now.
Ambrose kicks Swagger away, but Cesaro stops the tag and gets a
front chancery. Crowd now cheers the Shield as Ambrose fights out
and gets a backslide for two. Cesaro kicks him down and slaps him
(“Let’s go Shield, huh?”), but each slap just fires Ambrose up
and makes him ask for more. He fires back on Cesaro, but gets booted
hard only to reply with a massive lariat. Hot tag Rollins, and
Swagger gets the worst of it with a big boot and chops. Flying kick
and a Stinger Splash follow. STO into the middle turnbuckle gets
two. Cesaro charges and gets monkey flipped into the third row, and
Rollins sends Swagger to the floor before diving onto each man
individually. Crowd is going ballistic for Rollins. Back in,
springboard kneesmash gets two, Cesaro saves. Ambrose tackles Cesaro
and pounds away, but gets T-Boned over the top and out. Rollins
clears out Cesaro, but Swagger launches Rollins into the Patriot
Lock. He makes the ropes. Swagger alley-oops Rollins, who lands on
his feet and gets the enzuigiri and Blackout (now named the Piece of
Mind) for the pin at 13:57. ***1/2
Cesaro cleans out Rollins, but gets Superpunched by Reigns. He then
spears Cesaro on the outside. The Shield clears the table and chases
Colter away, bringing Cesaro over and Triplebombing him through the
table. Crowd is going nuts.
wait – Kane’s on his way to the ring with the New Age Outlaws, all
in suits. Kane says that there will be a six-man tag at
WrestleMania: Kane and the Outlaws v. Shield. At Mania, they will
annihilate the Shield. Believe that. Quick and painless.
Lesnar is here, and he’s headed to the ring.
said this in my recaps yet, so let’s say it now: HERE COMES THE PAIN!
Brock’s shirt reads I’m A Paul Heyman (Guy crossed out) Beast.
Heyman introduces himself and Brock Lesnar, then talks about the
Streak and how big a deal it is. In fact, it’s not just a Streak,
but an Undefeated Streak. So when Brock Lesnar breaks it by beating
the Undertaker, it will take nothing away from what the Deadman has
done. Twenty-one straight wins is a big deal. For example: John
Cena couldn’t do 21 in a row. Andre the Giant didn’t go 21 in a row.
Brock Lesnar couldn’t even do it. WrestleMania is a big deal, where
titles are won, grudges are settled, and one era ends while another
begins. The only guaranteed ticket to immortality is if you Break
The Streak. So when the Undertaker choked Heyman down or when he
attacked Lesnar on Raw… and Brock wants the mic.
Paul; enough.” Brock Lesnar is not here for the hype; he wants a
fight. He knows Undertaker is here, so he wants the fight right now!
get the Ominous Latin Chanting and a casket. We get some druids to
surround the casket and wheel it to the ring. Heyman is nervous as
Brock is waiting. The druids place the casket by the ring and exit.
Lesnar smirks at the casket, clearly waiting for the Undertaker to
emerge. The chanting continues as we reach a standoff of sorts.
Lesnar approaches the casket, kicking at the hood and trying to
activate the Undertaker within. Heyman is so nervous he’s unable to
stand. Lesnar keeps pounding on the casket. The chanting keeps
going, by the way. Heyman decides to leave, but Lesnar’s going
nowhere. He finally opens the casket…
it’s empty. Well, that was anticlimactic. Lesnar’s not amused. “Is
this some kind of joke!?” He begins to yell at the Druids,
following them as they back away. Lesnar then returns to the empty
casket and closes it. Crowd wants the Undertaker himself, as does
Lesnar. Heyman tries to talk Lesnar into staying, saying it’s all a
mind game. The Streak is Brock’s holy grail. So if the Undertaker
challenges Brock Lesnar to show up and doesn’t show up? Really? The
only thing he brings is an empty casket?
it’s not empty anymore.
now in it, and he’s sitting up and ready. Heyman just about loses
it. Lesnar, in fact, is taken aback. Heyman tells Lesnar to run for
it. Brock attacks and gets the worst of it, as Undertaker pounds
away. Taker clotheslines Lesnar onto the casket headfirst as Heyman
tells Lesnar to bail. Lesnar is impressed, and just points to the
sign in response – and Undertaker returns. The crowd is so into
this they chant for Randy Savage. Undertaker gets them back on his
side as the gong sounds and his music plays.
knew they wouldn’t have Daniel Bryan or CM Punk for tonight in Ring
of Honor’s backyard, so they knew they had to deliver something that
fired on all cylinders. Did they? Well, they came close if they
didn’t. Harper/Cena made the Wyatt Family a big deal. Shield/People
was a great match, and the Shield now has all the momentum. The only
thing I didn’t like was HHH breaking the fourth wall, but that’s a
minor nitpick because he was so on point tonight otherwise. Even
Batista and Stephanie brought it large.
wasn’t much wrestling going on, but it’s WrestleMania ramp-up season,
so you don’t expect much. Also, it’s clear they want to get everyone
on the show, given some of the names in the Andre match (Heath
Slater! Justin Gabriel! Zack Ryder!) and the Vickie match. It’s
also interesting to see them set up stories that will carry over
you had told me that the Brooklyn Raw would miss Daniel Bryan and CM
Punk and it would still entertain me, you’d likely have made some
TIME: only 48:36 over eight matches
MVP: Luke Harper
SCORE: 8. And this doesn’t even include the Family/Shield dark match
I hear being set up in the background of Backstage Pass.
almost there, folks! Brian Bayless will tell me what I was wrong
about later tonight; Tommy Hall will look over Impact and SmackDown;
Scott Keith will give you NXT; and on Saturday, I’ll review the MSG
show from June 3, 1991. I’ll join you in the Main Event live thread
if I’m able. See you then.
the meantime – Hey, Scott! Think you can get me a press pass for
Raw in DC?