The SmarK Rant for WWE Live in Saskatoon–02.09.18

WWE Live Event – Saskatoon 02.09.18

So once again WWE stopped by, as we’re apparently on an “every six months” rotation now due to big attendance numbers, and it’s doubly amazing because tonight was hellishly cold and yet WWE still came close to selling out the lower bowl of Sasktel Centre. Pretty darn impressive.

Read moreThe SmarK Rant for WWE Live in Saskatoon–02.09.18

Repost: Biggest, Smallest, Strangest, Strongest!

Oh hey, apparently I reviewed the awful Coliseum video called “Biggest, Smallest, Strangest, Strongest” on WWE 24/7 when they were putting the Coliseum videos up on that service.  Since that’s the next one up on the Network, here’s my review because it sounds like I never want to watch this one again!

The SmarK 24/7 Rant for WWF’s Biggest, Smallest, Strangest, Strongest!

– Sadly, the original music from the “It began 3000 years ago…” introduction on these old Coliseum videos has been edited out and replaced with a generic piece of music.

– Hosted by Jesse Ventura.

Read moreRepost: Biggest, Smallest, Strangest, Strongest!

The SmarK Rant for Mid-Atlantic Championship Wrestling–12.05.81

– Hosted by Bob Caudle and David Crockett

(This was originally written back in 2009 or whenever it was that my cable company dropped WWE 24/7, as I only got 3 episodes into Mid-Atlantic and then lost it, seemingly for good.  But now it’s back again!  In pog form!) 

Read moreThe SmarK Rant for Mid-Atlantic Championship Wrestling–12.05.81

The Roman Problem

Just a quick rant here after RAW. 

Look, RAW seemed OK with people, and I’m glad people enjoyed it, but the labyrinthine booking of the Elimination Chamber is getting ridiculous and is such an obvious time-filling mechanic at this point. These guys meet in matches to determine who qualifies! Then these guys have a match to see who enters last! Then these guys who lost get another match to see who gets another chance to enter! Then Roman wins LOL.

Like, if they have such a hard-on for Brock v. Roman as their main event, why not just BOOK IT? It’s PRE-DETERMINED. This isn’t UFC where you have to arrange #1 contender matches to get the shit you want. Just do some shit where Roman is cutting one of those stupid selfie promos and suddenly Brock punches him in the face and goes “HAHA FUCK YOU I’M CHAMPION” and then smashes his cell phone. Do you know how EXPENSIVE an iPhone X is to repair even with Applecare? That’s like $1000 out of his pocket! If I’m Roman, I’m pissed and then he can, I dunno, kidnap Paul Heyman and waterboard him until he gets a title shot or whatever. Since we all know who’s winning the Chamber, why even insult our intelligence by going through it?  Why not just sign Roman v. Brock for Wrestlemania so you can start building it, and make the Chamber match be for the first title shot or make Miz defend the IC title in there or something? 

Which is nothing against Roman, who is a fine pro wrestler and will probably have a good match with lazy Brock again, but holy shit they need to find a better way to get there.  The reason that Brock v. Braun worked so well is that there was an actual ISSUE.  Braun dropped an ambulance on him!  I’d like to think that kind of thing still means something. 

Coliseum Video Rant 2018: Bloopers, Bleeps and Bodyslams!

(Welcome to the debut of the Coliseum Video dump on the WWE Network!  I actually did this one a couple of years back as a part of a series reboot, before the guy posting them got kicked off YouTube, so we’ll start here just like the Network does!) 

Wrestling’s Bloopers, Bleeps & Bodyslams!

Hosted by Gorilla Monsoon. Did you know that WWF superstars can LITERALLY fly in and out of the squared circle?

This is an 80 minute collection of clips rather than matches.

Read moreColiseum Video Rant 2018: Bloopers, Bleeps and Bodyslams!

Repost: The SmarK Rant for the Main Event #1

Hi Scott,

Tomorrow is the 30th anniversary of The Main Event. Any chance we could get a repost, complete with the finish to Strike Force vs Hart Foundation if you haven’t done it already?

You realize that even on the Network the match is only 15 seconds long, right?  It’s literally Rick Martel pinning Bret Hart with a sunset flip counter 10 seconds after Vince and Jesse sign off.

Regardless, you’re not the first person to e-mail me about this today, so here’s the redone version of the rant.

Read moreRepost: The SmarK Rant for the Main Event #1

Repost: The Coliseum Video Rant 2.0

(In celebration of the Coliseum content dump on the Network tomorrow, here’s a repost of my attempt to reboot the series via YouTube, which abruptly ended when the guy got kicked off YouTube.) 

The Coliseum Video Rant 2.0 – 10.10.13

Much like Star Trek, I’m rebooting the franchise. Thanks to YouTube, I can start from the beginning of the series and probably lose interest after the second one. I’m skipping WF01 because it’s a compilation of skits called “Bloopers Bleeps and Bodyslams” and doesn’t really fit the series, but here’s WF02 (Hulkamania) and WF03 (The Best of the WWF Volume 1). As always, a point for stuff that works in any way, and no points if it doesn’t.

Tape #1: Hulkamania!

Read moreRepost: The Coliseum Video Rant 2.0

The SmarK Rant for WCW Clash of the Champions XXVII–06.23.94

The SmarK Rant for WCW Clash of the Champions XXVII – 06.23.94

(Originally written 02.01.18)

Live from Charleston, SC, doing a 3.0 rating (fourth lowest in Clash history) and drawing 4000 paid, although they just lied and said the building was sold out with 11,000 people.

Your hosts are Tony & Bobby, alternating with Jesse.

Read moreThe SmarK Rant for WCW Clash of the Champions XXVII–06.23.94