The SmarK Rant for TNA Impact – 10.11.12 Well, we’re at the go-home show for Bound For Glory, and I’m kinda not caring about the PPV. Hope this can change that. James Storm v. Austin Aries This seems like kind of a huge potential PPV payday to give away on TV like this. They work off a headlock and Storm armdrags Aries out of the ring, but he comes back before walking into a big boot. Aries tosses Storm and he skins the cat back in, but misses a dive. Aries doesn’t miss his. Neckbreaker through the ropes gets two. Storm makes the comeback, but misses a blind charge. They exchange some great chops in the corner and Aries gets a low dropkick for two. Storm pounds away in the corner, but so does Aries, and Storm fight him off with a Russian legsweep. They slug it out and Storm tries the helicopter slam, but Aries escapes and necks him on the top rope. Missile dropkick whiffs and Storm tries the codebreaker, but Aries blocks it. Storm escapes the brainbuster and they fight over a rollup before both guys collide and are out. And cue the run-in, as Bobby Roode sends Storm into the post behind the ref’s back. Brainbuster finishes at 7:18. Kind of an obvious finish. Match was surprisingly sloppy, especially when they were fighting for the rollup in the finishing sequence, but it was otherwise good. **3/4 Meanwhile, AJ Styles thinks that Kurt Angle doesn’t have his head in the right place for the PPV. Oh, and Wes Brisco is going to be there as Angle’s guest. Hulk Hogan and Sting are out to talk about the Aces & Eights situation (maybe it was THEM who leaked the sex tape!), but the World Tag Team Champions of the World interrupt because picking Bully Ray was a stupid decision and everyone knows it. Kaz has a plan: Cancel the tag title match, boot out Bully Ray, and put Kurt Angle into the spot instead. Bully Ray joins us as well and points out that since it won’t be a wrestling match, you don’t want a wrestler out there. And since it’s the wrestling BUSINESS (tm HHH) and not wrestling friendship (tm Bryan & Kane), they don’t need to get along. So Bully proposes himself and Sting against Daniels & Kaz tonight as a warmup, which the crowd goes NUTS for. AJ Styles v. Hernandez AJ quickly gains the advantage with an enzuigiri, but misses a charge and gets tossed around by Hernandez. Bearhug follows, but AJ slugs out, so Hernandez clubs him down. AJ with the dropkick to put Hernandez on the floor, and he follows with a dive. Back in, AJ misses a slingshot move, and Hernandez hits him with a shoulderblock for the pin at 3:50?! That was…random. ** Meanwhile, the Leader continues the abuse of Joseph Park and cuts a promo on Hogan. Zema Ion is out to complain that he has no match for the PPV, so Rob Van Dam shows up to challenge him. Ion hides behind the belt, so RVD kicks it in his face. Good, hopefully they change the title there because RVD is at least a more interesting choice. Meanwhile, Hogan still doesn’t trust Bully, but Bully points out that he’s never conned anyone. Sting stops just short of saying “If you swerve me I’ll leave you for dead” but you could tell he wanted to. Meanwhile, Tara continues annoying Brooke Hogan. I’m never gonna be able to see her answering a cell phone without getting weirded out from now on. Christopher Daniels & Kazarian v. Sting & Bully Ray Bully pounds on Daniels in the corner and works on the arm, then leads the crowd in a cheer for Sting before tagging him in. Sting with a clothesline for two, and Kazarian comes in for more of the same as the babyfaces double-team him. Bully with a backdrop suplex for two. Sting with a suplex for two. Bully with his own massive suplex, which sets up the Stinger splash. Another one misses, however, and Daniels posts Sting to make him Heath-in-peril. Daniels lays the beatdown in the corner and the champs take turns with slingshot moves, as Kaz gets two. Kazarian holds a straightjacket, but Sting elbows out before running into a spinkick. Daniels boots him down for two. Finally it’s the hot tag to Bully and the crowd is nuts for it. Fallaway slam on Daniels gets two and it’s BONZO GONZO as Sting tosses Kazarian out. Bully boots the belt out of Daniels’s hands and we get the MEGAPOWER HANDSHAKE from the babyfaces, so you know you can trust Bully. Sting even tells him to get the tables. Bully’s a little confused about being a babyface again, but he obliges, and Daniels takes a ride on the pine for the DQ at 9:48. The fans are actually MAD about that. Well shit, he powerbombed the guy through a table in the middle of the ring, what did they expect? Really fun match. ***1/2 Meanwhile, Magnus and Samoa Joe threaten to get into a fight backstage, but Magnus wants to wait for millions of people to see it on PPV. He’s in for a long wait. Good promo here from Magnus. Miss Tessmacher v. Gail Kim Gail attacks to start, but Tess takes her down with a headscissors and sends her to the floor. Gail necksnaps her for two to take over, and chokes her out on the ropes. Clothesline on the ropes gets two. FLYING BODY ATTACK in the corner, but Tess slugs back, so Kim rubs her ass in Tessmacher’s face. That annoys Tessmacher enough to make the comeback with a neckbreaker, and she goes up. Gail brings her down, but Tess gets a crucifix for two. Gail blocks a rana with a powerbomb and goes up, but Tess moves and makes another comeback. Front suplex finishes at 5:21. And then Tara attacks and lays her out, but Tess gets the last laugh to set up the PPV match. Champ wins clean in a good match, challenger attacks, champ stands tall to end it. All good. **1/2 Meanwhile, a pissed off James Storm interrupts a Bobby Roode promo and they threaten each other until King Mo breaks it up. Bobby Roode v. Jeff Hardy Roode attacks during Hardy’s entrance, but really it’s Hardy’s own fault for painting eyeballs on his eyelids. If you’re gonna walk down to the ring with your eyes closed, you deserve what you get. Roode pounds away to start, but Hardy quickly comes back with an atomic drop and low dropkick for two. Backdrop out of the corner and he clotheslines Roode out of the ring and follows with a dive. Back in and Hardy pounds away in the corner, but Roode clotheslines him and drops an elbow to regain control. Hardy gets tossed and they fight on the floor, with Hardy getting a suplex out there. We take a break and return with Roode holding a neck vice before they head out to the floor again. Hardy meets the stairs, and back in a neckbreaker gets two for Roode. Hardy tries to escape, so Roode catches him with a sleeper. Only two drops of the arm, however, and Hardy fights back, but Roode hangs on. Finally Hardy runs him into the corner to break, and comes back with the Whisper. I don’t know how Roode didn’t break his neck on that bump, because he ended up in totally the wrong position to catch him. Hardy with the spinkick for two. Yodelling splash gets two. Roode catches him with a spinebuster for two. They fight to the top and Roode wants the superplex, but Hardy puts him down, then misses the swanton. Roode spears him for two. Hardy reverses the fisherman’s suplex into the Twist of Fate, but Roode blocks a second one with a low blow for the DQ at 16:47. ***1/2 Austin Aries comes out and TEARS UP THE SCRIPT after the match, because he’s SHOOTING, BROTHER. Oh lord. He’s not actually jealous of Hardy’s rap sheet, but he’s jealous of Hardy getting special treatment while he gets shafted out of a new entrance and music. Aries asks him to leave so he can bask in his glory, but then he attacks Hardy and gives him the brainbuster on the belt instead. Well there’s your heel turn and probably title change on Sunday. The promo was a bit CM Punk-lite, but hopefully THIS company will actually have a payoff for it. The Pulse Good wrestling, good hard sell for the PPV, no Aces & Eights outside of one segment = a much improved show over last week. I’ll probably get Bound For Glory if I’m home, but no promises.
In case anyone is watching.
October 10, 2012
Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Byron Saxton, William Regal
last week there isn’t much to go on for this show. The main feud
continues to be Ohno vs. Steamboat which can only go on so much
longer before it starts getting dull. Far more importantly than that
though, the WWE Champion CM Punk is here tonight to do whatever he
wants. That’s a cool bonus for the fans. Let’s get to it.
talks about how he’s here to see Rollins get respect. He says it’s
Rollins’ first main event title defense. Didn’t he have that against
Rick Victor already or was that non-title?
Curtis vs. Bo Dallas
takes him into the corner to start and hits some standing
clotheslines for two. Curtis elbows him down a few times for two and
hits a suplex for the same. We hit the chinlock which doesn’t last
long so Curtis goes up. A top rope knee drop misses and Dallas
starts his comeback. Some forearms set up a belly to belly suplex
for no cover but a spear gets the pin on Curtis at 4:05.
This was really dull stuff and the crowd barely reacted to it at all.
Neither of these guys show me anything at all that makes me
interested in what they’re doing. They have no character traits
beyond Dallas likes to compete and Curtis is weird, which he hasn’t
actually been in months. Nothing to see here.
Marie vs. Alicia Fox/Kaitlyn
entrances for anyone. Paige and Kaitlyn start things off Feeling out
process to start with Paige taking over on the arm. Off to the
rather good looking Marie who keeps up the work on the arm. Kaitlyn
works on the arm as well but Alicia makes a blind tag to surprise
Marie. The fans want Paige but have to stick with Audrey for a bit
girls do some very nice looking gymnastics before Audrey pulls off
what can best be described as an armdrag while Alicia was laying on
the mat. Regal says it’s called a Winnick (not sure if that’s
spelled right) Throw and freaks out because he hasn’t seen it in
years. I’ve never seen it either but it was cool looking. Off to
Kaitlyn who picks up Audrey and drops her on her face for two.
to Alicia who pounds away on Marie and hooks a chinlock. Back to
Kaitlyn for a body scissors as Regal talks about how good the girls
look. Kaitlyn shifts over to a full nelson with her legs but has to
break it when Marie turns it into a cover. There’s the hot tag to
Paige who goes nuts and cleans house but her cradle DDT is broken up
by Fox. A dropkick gets one on Alicia and everything breaks down.
Paige hooks an O’Connor Roll on Alicia for the pin at 6:20.
That’s likely high but I was blown away by this. This is one of the
best Divas matches I’ve seen in years and a lot of that is due to
Audrey. She looked awesome out there with stuff I hadn’t seen before
and the execution was really good. The WWE girls looked good too as
they didn’t seem like they were having to think through every single
thing they did out there. I was very impressed.
guy I don’t recognize hits on some chick. It doesn’t go well for him
and Trent Barretta comes up to laugh at him. This sets up a match
next week. Apparently that’s Jake Carter.
talks about being champion when Punk pops up. He says just holding
the title won’t get Rollins respect and tonight, Seth needs to beat
the respect out of McGillicutty.
Kruger vs. Dante Dash
is still insane. He’s growing on me every time I see him. After
crouching in the corner to start, Leo charges out of the corner to
forearm Dash in the head. Off to a chinlock which turns into a beard
pull. Leo suplexes him down and keeps pulling on his own hair. That
falling neckbreaker/cutter thing from Kruger gets the pin at 2:23.
match Kruger gets a blue spotlight and says something in a different
language before saying he’ll finish his prey quickly. His voice is
doesn’t get the obsession with respect. He’s coming after Punk for
the WWE World Heavyweight Championship (that’ll likely be a fine)
after he beats Rollins.
Title: Seth Rollins vs. Michael McGillicutty
is defending and they have a ton of time to work with here. Punk
comes out to do commentary and gets a big reaction. Before the match
starts though, Punk has something to say. He’s here to take a closer
look and he says good luck. That’s all he has to say which is a
surprise. After big match intros we’re ready to go.
out process to start as Punk asks the other announcers for their
picks. Regal isn’t a betting man (he called Gamblers Anonymous
yesterday and they gave him 5-1 odds he wouldn’t come to a meeting)
and can’t pick (Punk: “That’s very Switzerland of you”) and Ross
picks Rollins to keep the title until someone beats him for it. You
can’t buy this kind of expertise people.
avoids the Blackout and we take a break. Back with Michael stomping
away in the corner but Rollins takes him down with a headlock
takeover. Michael grabs one of his own but gets dropkicked down
twice in a row. McGillicutty throws him over the top and to the
floor as this is a very back and forth match. Back in and Seth tries
to go up top, only to get crotched and put in the Tree of Woe.
hard whip into the corner gets one for McGillicutty and we take
another break. Back with Rollins jumping off the top and over
McGillicutty before dropkicking Michael down. A clothesline puts
McGillicutty on the floor and a suicide dive from Rollins takes him
down. Back in and Rollins tries a springboard clothesline but
Michael dropkicks him out of the air for two.
hits an enziguri but misses the Blackout and a high kick before
McGillicutty hits a Saito Suplex for two. McGillicutty loads up a
Perfectplex but gets small packaged for two. A clothesline takes
Rollins down for another two and Michael is getting frustrated.
Rollins gets back up and avoids the McGillicutter before hitting
Sliced Bread #2 for the pin at 11:20 shown of 15:50.
This started slow but after the break it turned into the usual good
stuff I’ve grown to expect from McGillicutty. Rollins winning with
something other than the Blackout is a good thing as that move is
similar to the 619 in that there are only so many plausible ways you
can set it up. Good main event here that shows that Rollins can win
more than one way.
applauds Rollins to end the show. Punk was pretty much neutral
There was almost nothing missing from this show. We had a shockingly
good tag match, a good main event, a squash and a great promo to
follow it and an appearance from one of the biggest stars in the WWE.
Good show here and I really enjoyed it the entire way through.
Dallas b. Johnny Curtis – Spear
Marie/Paige b. Alicia Fox/Kaitlyn – O’Connor Roll to Fox
Kruger b. Dante Dash – Face First Mat Slam
Rollins b. Michael McGillicutty – Sliced Bread #2
Hello my fellow Canuck fan,
I'm a big fan of the blog, but I've never submitted anything until now. This isn't a list of questions to generate a debate or anything else thought-provoking just a simple clip on Youtube of The Nature Boy and Gene Okerlund. I must have erased all Nitro memories from the Tuesday on TSN nights because I don't remember the "Mean WOOO! Gene" as being that drawn out, but the crowd sure looks like they're having a blast. I remember when I used to have that much watching wrestling ……..
So I’ve debated this with several people and would like to get your thoughts. What makes a good heel? Is it as simple as pissing people off? Time and time again I hear people say how great Vicki Guerrero is. However, there is nobody that makes me hit fast forward on the DVR quicker. I suppose you could call it X-Pac heat. Is that bad, or is the only thing important that you get a negative reaction?
Quick Note: I am back from vacation so I will post my TNA weekly PPV review on Saturday and then will follow my schedule after that.
Read on to see what Matt Hardy bought at the mall and how Hornswoggle disrupted a bar. Also, a fan tells the Road Dogg that he loves him and Macho Man tells a fan to see him on the Spice Channel.
Here is last week’s installment. Read on to see which wrestler made a fan by him a kebab and who likes lemon slices with their Coors Light. Also, nice stories about Owen Hart and Hillbilly Jim.
The SK Rant for WCW Halloween Havoc 2000 (Let’s wrap up this countdown with one of the low points of WCW’s lowest point.) – I’m always accused of being biased, so I’m going to add one positive thing to every match so you can’t say that I didn’t find any. – Live from Lost Wages, NV – Your hosts are Tony, Stevie & Mark. How bad is it when Stevie Ray has leapfrogged both Mike Tenay and Scott Hudson into the regular PPV spot? – Opening match, WCW World tag titles: Mark Jindrak & Sean O’ Hare v. Rey Mysterio Jr. & Kidman v. The Boogie Knights. I really wish the champs would have their names on their boots or something, because I still can’t tell the difference. (Thankfully Sean would at least distinguish himself enough in WWE that today I could tell the difference were I stupid enough to want to watch this show again.) Kidman & Wright double-team Jindrak to start, but Wright turns on Kidman. O’Hare gets the same treatment. Kidman shoulderblocks Disqo for two. (Oh yeah, this was when Disco changed his name to Disqo because of Cisqo. Fun fact: I have no fucking idea who Cisqo is because I didn’t listen to any kind of top 40 radio or music shows between the late 90s and a few years ago. It constantly amazes my wife when I have these giant pop culture blind spots of stuff that she assumes everyone shares knowledge about. But I digress.) Wright dropkicks Jindrak for two. He gives Jindrak what appears to be a high knee, but Jindrak goes down about two seconds before the move connects. Wright uses the Edge & Christian assisted suplex on Jindrak for two. Man, Wright is outworking everyone else in the match by 100% here. O’Hare comes in and cleans house on the smaller guys, making them look like jobbers. How ironic. The champs hiptoss Kidman into the ring, and the Boogie Knights double-team Rey Rey as the pointless highspots start. They fire off a bunch of them until Sean O’Hare finishes Disqo with the Seanton bomb at 10:05 to retain the titles. This was what it was. **1/2 Positive thing: The right team won. – Hardcore title match: Reno v. A-Wall. I haven’t watched Nitro or Thunder in months so I’m totally lost as to the point here, but I vaguely recall the whole deal with Reno winning the title on a reversed decision a few weeks ago. The Idiots stress that this is OLD SCHOOL HARDCORE, BABY, as those “Start in the back and fight to the ring” rules have gone the way of Tony Schiavone’s self-respect. (I love the idea of “old school hardcore”, given that the entire style they’re ripping off originated about two years before this show took place. Maybe 5 if you’re counting ECW, but who does?) Rhetorical question: When was the last time a hardcore match in WCW was actually fought under those rules, because I haven’t seen one of them since about July? Reno puts Wall through a table 10 seconds in to just completely cheapen the gimmick. Do the people booking these matches have ANY idea how to effectively use things like tables? Notice how the WWF makes the fans chant for them for 10 minutes before one gets pulled out? There’s a reason. It’s called DRAMATIC TENSION. We get to hear the term “old school hardcore” about 14 times. Fight to the rampway and into the back, which was supposed to be the kind of thing that we didn’t want to see anymore and thus was eliminated. My head hurts. Wall throws one of those imitation plastic monitors that you see in IKEA displays at Reno, and luckily he ducks to avoid the serious injury that hollow plastic props can cause. Hmm, there’s a picture on the screen, but it’s not plugged in? WCW: Swedish for “crap”. (Oddly enough, IKEA now uses real TVs in their displays, or least they do at the Edmonton store when I’m lucky enough to get out there and spend ridiculous amounts of money on stuff I don’t need. Maybe it’s a good thing Saskatoon isn’t big enough to ever get an IKEA.) Back to the ring, more tables. Yay, more tables, that’ll make them their 60 million dollars back. Reno gets his neckbreaker thing on a table for the pin at 10:45. What exactly is that move supposed to be doing to cause damage? Basically he’s just turning him over. In fact, the brunt of the blow is on Reno, because he’s the one landing on his back and taking the weight of Wall on him. (And yet 80 zillion indy guys now use that move, to the extent that “Roll the Dice” has basically become the generic name for the move. I think that Crossroads might become the new de facto standard name with time, though.) Oh, sorry, I’m being biased again, feel free to write me and complain about the Rock Bottom or the KICK WHAM STUNNER, because lord knows I care about each and every piece of mail I get from people defending this stuff. ½* An MIA-NBT showdown follows. Positive thing: The Wall didn’t cause serious injury to himself or his opponent. (Sadly, the serious injury would come just three years later for the Wall, as in death.) – Impromptu match: Chuck Palumbo & Shawn Stasiak v. Chavo Guerrero & Lash LeRoux. Chavo & Lash dominate Stasiak to start as Madden stresses that THERE’S ABSOLUTELY NO PROBLEM between Stasiak & Palumbo while the other two argue that there is. Note to retarded bookers writing this stuff: It’s the year 2000. Just thought I’d let you know. Lash dominates Palumbo, but Chavo gets dumped. Palumbo & Stasiak argue and Stasiak gets rolled up for two, just in case the “Blind Deaf & Dumb Society of America” happened to be in the audience tonight watching and wasn’t sure what the storyline was. (If they were today, Alberto Del Rio would probably tear up their braille signs and laugh at them, and then they’d sue WWE and win.) He comes back with a powerbomb for two. Chavito plays trooper-in-peril, but reverses a press slam and gets the hot tag to Lash. He gets nailed and exchanges sleepers with Chuck Palumbo. When was the last time ANYONE used a sleeper in the WWF (not named “X-Pac”)? (Dolph is bringing it back, baby! And HHH did shortly after this, too.) You know why? Because it’s a dead move and fans instinctively get bored when it’s used. So of course we ended up seeing three or four of them tonight. Hot tag Chavo, and heel miscommunication allows Chavo to hit the DDT on Stasiak for the pin at 9:22. If they think splitting up Palumbo & Stasiak is gonna help one bit, more power to ‘em, but a little subtlety goes a long way in wrestling and they’d do well to remember it. Match was pretty boring. *1/4 Positive thing: Madden brought “Chavito” into formal use. – Shane Douglas & Torrie v. Konnan & Tygress. Torrie is dressed as Wonder Woman. Konnan, who got severely beat down in the opening match and had to be helped out by EMTs, looks remarkably better as he hits the ring a minute in to save us from seeing any more of Torrie v. Tygress. He and Tygress double-team Douglas, and you immediately know that you’re watching a WCW PPV because Douglas has the World’s Biggest Brace and a double-wrap on his left arm, so Konnan and Tygress work on the good arm. (Well because then both arms are useless, maybe?) Reverse psychology, maybe? Torrie comes in and does the Baywatch Lifeguard Run in gloriously bouncy slow motion at Tygress in the corner, but runs into a foot. I don’t know how one can possibly screw up that spot, but they managed. (Lifting the foot in the corner is a tough gig. Just ask Kevin Nash.) Tygress plays T&A-in-peril. Ah, you might ask: If Konnan was so injured that they had to get a non-wrestler to do the brunt of the work, why not just sub him out and use someone else? Answer: Because then all the irate fans who paid to see this match would demand a refund. Hot tag Konnan, and Katie bar the yadda yadda yadda. Everyone stands around waiting for a cue to go home in a charming spot that makes me love WCW THAT MUCH MORE until Torrie does a sort of Franchiser on Konnan that manages to make the move even MORE useless than when Shane does it. I think Konnan and Torrie had to pause for a couple of seconds to figure out who was actually supposed to be selling the move. Konnan MIRACULOUSLY kicks out from that move and hits the X-Factor on Douglas at 8:35 for the pin. See, now I personally wouldn’t have given this anything NEAR 10 minutes with two injured guys and two chicks in there, but everyone says I’m biased so I guess it was okay. -**1/2 Positive thing: Torrie running. – DNA match: David Flair v. Buff Bagwell. I still don’t know what “DNA rules” are supposed to be. Flair brings some beakers in a baggie to at least make an effort to sell the angle. I’d pull up the quote from Vince Russo last month about how this angle would have “swerve after swerve” and shock the world, but really it’s like pulling up old quotes of Eric Bischoff from 1997 going on internet chats and talking about how boring the ratings wars were at the time. The horse is dead, why lay in anymore shots? Buff pounds on Flair and yawns a lot, treating the match like a joke. HE’S SHOOTING, BROTHER! What’s really sad here is that David doesn’t even realize that he’s being made into the joke, as he goes through his usual crazy selling and generally tries really hard with what he’s being given. It’s always a tragedy when someone with as little talent as David is out there giving it his all and someone who used have as much as Buff did is out there acting like the match is beneath him. It might be, but it’s his job to convince the fans otherwise. They do something resembling brawling on the floor, and David gets hit with a chair and bleeds, giving Bagwell the win at 5:42. Apparently it was a first blood match. That’s one of those details you want to tell people, guys. Especially the wrestlers, because Bagwell hits the Blockbuster and tries for the pin before the ref informs him that he’s already the winner. (That’s WCW for you.) Whew, that’s a relief, if David had been booked to win then Buff might have quit and we’d be robbed of ever seeing him again, and god knows the world isn’t ready for life without Buff. -***, thus showing the god-given talent and drawing power that Buff Bagwell brings to the table every time out. Positive thing: Neither Judy Bagwell nor Miss Hancock was involved in any way. – Somebody’s grandfather (in a Yankees jersey) walks in and turns on Buff after the match, looking remarkably like Lex Luger if he was a 40-year old has been with no career direction. Oh, wait… – Kickboxing match: Mike Sanders v. The Cat. Cat squashes Sanders for the three scheduled two-minute rounds, but at the end of the third one Shane Douglas KO’s Cat with a chain. Cat is saved by the bell (I think?), but brawls with Douglas and gets counted out (??) after the time limit expires (???) to lose the commisionership to Mike Sanders (????). I think we need one of those Bruce Mitchell “Explain the Booking” contests to take care of this one. –**** Positive thing: I liked Mike Sanders’ shirt. – Mike Awesome v. Vampiro. You know, I was pretty much hoping that this one would end the negative-star run, but then I was also hoping that Buff would no-show and get fired tonight, so I guess I’m just overly optimistic. Vamp wants the #1 contendership in return for all the people he’s beaten in his WCW career. Vamp bails and Awesome hits a tope con hilo, although only in a loose sense of the word “hits”. Brawl into the crowd for lack of anything good to do. That goes on for a bit, until Awesome gets jumped by an energetic fan and stops to pound him into oblivion before going back to hitting Vampiro with worked punches two seconds later. (Could I have timed this repost ANY BETTER?!) Don’t forget to stomp, guys. Back to the ring for a duelling chairs spot that comes out of nowhere and goes the same place. Vamp hits a Super-Frankensteiner and nearly breaks Awesome’s neck in the process. He follows with a top rope something that looked like a cross between a cannonball and a Thesz Press, but somehow was worse than both. Awesome bails, but Vampiro comes back with a Michinoku Driver. Hey, they hit a spot! Congratulations, remind me to buy a card to commemorate the occasion. Vampiro stops to go table shopping, but none is evident. So instead of WRESTLING, he wastes another minute checking under every side of the ring. They head outside and Awesome powerbombs him on the floor for two, as this has suddenly become a falls-count-anywhere match. Funny, I didn’t think it was Vancouver. Back in, a top rope Awesomebomb finishes at 9:50, returning the favor by nearly breaking Vampiro’s neck. I don’t know why people were getting excited about seeing this one. -*1/2 Reason #459 why WCW is losing 60 million dollars: Awesome does this incredible-looking deadly finisher, the announcers sell it like Vampiro is a corpse, and what music is playing the background? Awesome’s cheesy 70s elevator music. Positive thing: Mike’s hair remained in pristine condition even after the match. – Canadian title: Lance Storm & Jim Duggan v. General Rection. Please, Duggan, bring us above DUD! Slugfest between Rection and Duggan to start. Storm goes next and runs into a foot. He comes back with an atomic drop. Rection dumps him but gets dumped in turn. Man, this is thrilling action. Duggan chokes him. Long beatdown follows. Storm provides the second sleeper spot on the night, then heel miscommunication cues the comeback for Rection. Powerslam gets two. The ref (Scott Armstrong, the second-best worker in the match) gets bumped and is out cold. No wonder the Armstrongs jobbed all the time. Duggan piledriver, no ref. Elix Skipper runs in but gets held off by Major Gunns. Is that storyline STILL going on? Didn’t everyone stop caring about it two months ago, including the bookers? Rection does something that looks kinda like a russian legsweep to Duggan, and finishes with a moonsault that misses by six inches to capture the Canadian title and thus bury Lance Storm further. I guess retarded WCW logic says that because Duggan jobbed, Lance Storm keeps his heat for a rematch with General Rection. Not that anyone wants to see Storm v. Rection again to begin with. Reason #1949 why WCW is losing upwards of 60 million dollars: The second-highest champion in the promotion is named “Hugh G. Rection”. DUD Positive thing: Zero stars is still better than less-than-zero stars. – Jeff Jarrett v. Sting. Tony talks about how the first Halloween Havoc was in 1989 and how 11 years later Sting is still here. Open mouth, insert foot. (I don’t get it.) Brawl to start, then Sting misses a Stinger splash and then dumps Jarrett. That’s about the extent of the good part of the match, as a bogus Sting, dressed in 80s garb, comes out to taunt Sting. Sting takes him out. Sting & Jarrett brawl into the crowd, where finds “Early 90s Sgt. Pepper Sting”, complete with hot pink tights and bad makeup job. No ducktail, though? That’s pretty sloppy. He beats up that one, too. I’d call the match incredibly retarded right now, but I’m afraid it might get worse. Back in, Jarrett & Sting stall until Wolfpac Sting joins us and gets beat up. For those people who wonder what exactly we recappers mean when we talk about “masturbatory insider booking” that goes over the heads of 99.9% of the audience and only serves to amuse the bookers, this is the match you wanna look at. Jarrett controls with some basic stuff as we’re all just waiting for Sting #4. And indeed he soon pops out of the ring and drags Sting under, only to get beat up. I think that one was played by Steve Keirn. Or maybe Ray Licachelli. The lights go out and a fifth Sting rappels from the rafters to attack. PLEASE don’t tell me that they were just waiting for Bret Hart to retire so they could start doing that again on a regular basis. This Sting is bald, by the way, thus shattering the finely crafted illusion of authenticity that they had been shooting for all match long. Sting puts him through a table as Sting #4 (for those keeping track) returns to hit Sting with the guitar and give Jarrett the pin at 14:38. WCW’s never-ending quest to make Jeff Jarrett a top heel continues. And with booking like this, would YOU bet against them? -*** Positive thing: Copyright issues prevent them from doing the same gimmick with Jarrett’s old personas. For the moment. – I mean, CHRIST, how hard is it to book a Jarrett v. Sting match? You put them out there, say “Have a good match” and decide that one goes over the other. My working theory for this show so far is that Vince Russo snapped, killed all the other bookers, and wrote the show while high on amphetamines and coffee with the help of his imaginary friend “Mortimer the Space Cowboy” in one last attempt to destroy the promotion before he’s officially fired. However, as noble a goal as that may be, there’s just no excuse for ever mentioning Kung-Fu Action Lobster Sting again. – WCW World title: Booker T v. Scott Steiner. Dear god, Crush & Adam Bomb are main-eventing tonight? Hammerlock sequence to start. Steiner bails, but changes his mind and comes back to pound away on Booker. Brawl outside and into the crowd, which Steiner dominates with ease. Back in, Steiner elbowdrop gets two. Booker escapes a surfboard, but runs into a lariat. Steiner gets a top rope fallaway slam (right onto the section of ring torn apart by the previous match when Sting #4 popped through it) and poses, not even bothering to cover him. Sure, bury your World champion, why not? Who needs offense, anyway? Booker comes back but Steiner lariats him again, out of the ring. Back in, Steiner lays in the boots. Booker comes back with a missile dropkick (yah! Scott finally sells a move!) but that offensive flurry doesn’t last long for Booker as Steiner grabs his trusty foam lead pipe and takes out Booker and several refs for a DQ at 13:27. Nothing earns the trust and support of a dwindling fanbase more than a DQ in a title match that they spent $30 to see. * Positive thing: There was an impressive shot of Medasya’s ass while Steiner was making his entrance. – Kroni>| v. Goldberg. We’re got MAYBE 5 minutes of total airtime left here. And indeed it’s 1998 all over again as Goldberg dispatches both with the usual at 3:42. DUD Positive thing: The show is over. The Bottom Line: Hands down, worst PPV of the year to date. No competition, no likely challengers on the horizon unless XPW suddenly gets a better TV deal. What was expected to be decent was overbooked into insanely bad, and what wasn’t supposed to be good, wasn’t. Disqo’s lame duck gimmick sums up the current booking very well: Lame duck. Or, if the WWF deal doesn’t go through, dead duck. (Well, the WWF deal did go through, and they still ended up a dead duck anyway.) Thumbs WAY down.
The Netcop Rant for Halloween Havoc 1999 (Speaking of awesome scary stuff, BATMAN #13 this week. Holy SHIT Scott Snyder has made Joker one terrifying son of a bitch again. I bow to his comic writing greatness.) Warning: The following rant contains sarcasm of a damaging nature and may expose the hypocrisy of WCW shills. Readers with WCW leanings may wish to ask their parents before having the Vince Russo era exposed for the farce that it is. (I called that one early and often.) Live from Las Vegas, NV, which seems fitting for the first Russo show, somehow. Your hosts are Tony and Bobby, sitting at ringside instead of in the back. Opening match, Cruiserweight title: Disco Inferno v. Lash LeRoux. DI gets a quick start to control. Lash comes back with some basic stuff and they brawl out of the ring. Back in and Lash hits a sloppy rana from the top for two. Back-and-forth with more bush league stuff for a bit. Disco gets the swinging neckbreaker for two, and the jumping piledriver also gets two. I miss the Macarena Driver, personally. (Is WWE gonna have people doing a Gangnam Style thing soon? Because I’ve never even seen the original video and even I’m tired of hearing about it.) Lash hits a sloppy pumphandle powerbomb for two. Whiplash, but Disco escapes and hits the Chartbuster for the pin. This was indyish as you can get, but probably the best that could have been expected. ** (Eh, Lash always tried hard, but he was always way out of his league.) Earlier in the day, Benoit and Malenko tell Saturn & Douglas to shove the Revolution up their ass. “Ass” total so far: 1. I smell a screwjob to mess up Benoit’s career again. PLEASE prove me wrong, WCW. WCW World tag title: The First Family v. Harlem Heat v. Kidman & Konnan. They had announced that Rey Rey (which is apparently his new official name) was injured, and so the Filthy Animals were stripped of the titles. Kidman and K-Dong still wear the belts to the ring, acting like babyfaces, even though the storyline has them as heels. (That whole sentence sums up Russo in a nutshell.) Just non-stop weapons shots here, none of them very good. The Heat & Knobbs fight backstage, ala RAW. Stevie Ray hits Knobbs with a mummy and gets the pin there, while in the ring (which the camera totally misses) Kidman pins Hugh Morrus a couple of minutes later as the Heat comes back out (there was two referees). They act all controversial and stuff, but the Heat’s pinfall clearly came well before the Animals’ did. Heat gets the titles for the 10th time. This was utter junk. 1/2* Sports Entertainment Segment: DDP & Kimberly are out to insult the crowd. Crowd chants “You suck” and DDP replies “I can’t suck, I’m not from Vegas”. More spanking innuendoes stemming from Nitro result, plus some masturbation innuendoes towards Flair, all of which leads to DDP issuing a challenge for a strap match tonight. Hey, changing the stips on the fly, where have I seen that before? Oh, yeah, the WWF. “Ass” count: 3. Eddy Guerrero, who apparently stole Flair’s Rolex, plays heel and challenges Saturn for the next match. Dammit, pick a side and stick to it with the Filthy Animals. Eddy Guerrero v. Saturn. Eddy works the knee and they brawl on the floor. Eddy takes a nasty bump on the stairs (called a “bump” by Tony – wow.) and Saturn works on the arm, back in the ring. Crowd is just ENTHRALLED with this, let me tell you. A couple of suplexes, and now Saturn goes for the knee. Crowd goes for the nacho stands. Eddy comes back with a brainbuster, but the frog splash misses. Eddy goes to the top and Saturn crotches him and superplexes him. Eddy reverses out of a Splash Mountain attempt (you DARE try that on Eddy?!?), and Flair runs in with a crowbar for the Sports Entertainment Finish ™. Yeah, advance those storylines, Russo! We don’t need those stupid pinfalls, that’s so 80s! Kidman & Torrie try for the save and get beaten and kissed, in that order. Dull match. ** Backstage, Goldberg is hammering on Sid. Blood is seen. Atta boy, Sid! And now, it’s another Sports Entertainment Moment as Buff comes out for an interview. On a PPV. Jarrett attacks, Lex Luger makes the save. Que? “Ass” count: 4. I’d be neglectful in not mentioning Luger’s pathetic missed guitar shot, as he nails Buff by mistake but doesn’t catch him with the flat of the guitar, so it doesn’t break. D’Oh. Backstage, it’s more Sports Entertainment as Eddy calls in the troops on his cell phone. Wonder who he stole that from… Berlyn v. Brad Armstrong. Total squash. I mean, no offense for Brad, until Berlyn tries the neckbreaker and BA reverses the legsweep for the pin! WHA?!? Jesus, if you’re gonna squash Brad, squash him, and if you want to give him the win, at least give me the decent match I know they can pull out. But this shit was ridiculous. 1/2* (I know Russo really liked Brad and wanted to find a role for him, but Berlyn was still a relatively hot act at that point. Just weirdness.) Flair gives a ranting interview about all the sex he had with Kimberly and all the sex he’s gonna have with Torrie. It’s nice to see SOMEONE who can finally get motivated under this new atmosphere. World TV title match: Chris Benoit v. Rick Steiner. Steiner stalls to start. He runs through his same old, same old. Benoit comes back with a superplex and a plancha. More stalling, and then Rick goes with the greco-roman ballshot to take over. And now to the resting. Oh for god’s sake, you idiot, just let Benoit carry the damn match. Two released german suplexes, with Rick wandering around and nonchalantly taking his time between moves. Benoit comes back with the rolling german suplexes, and the ref gets bumped. Oh, man, I’ve got a bad feeling. Chair gets involved, and Rick nails Benoit with it to block the swandive. Malenko runs in…and turns on Benoit. (It was a SWERVE!) Oh, shit, I KNEW that was gonna happen. Steiner gets the pin and the title, and once again Benoit is the plucky guy who “put up a good fight” and “came THAT close” but never quite gets it done. At least Malenko as a heel is a good thing. * The Total Package v. Bret Hart. I’ve got a bad feeling about this one, too. Lots of brawling for the first minutes, and not much happens as Luger starts working on the knee. Half crab…and BRET TAPS? What the hell was that? Kudos to Bret for selling the knee injury from Nitro, but LUGER? *1/2 Goldberg interview. “Ass” count jumps to 6, an unheard of total for WCW. Sports Entertainment Moment: Madusa (in a bikini) comes out to shill Nitro Perfume. She goes to the table, then tells the announcers that “this is BULLSHIT” and dumps the perfume on Bobby. They didn’t apologize for the bad word. (Was this the deal where they were complaining about how bad that perfume smelled as well? Where they were supposed to be shilling it but were just constantly harping on how shitty of a product it was? So much weirdness at that time that didn’t make sense unless you were in on the joke.) WCW World title: Sting v. Hulk Hogan. Hogan’s music plays, no one comes out. Sting comes out, Hogan’s music plays again, no one comes out. Finally he comes out in street clothes, says something to Sting, and does the “pin me, pay me” deal, laying down for the Sting pin. Hah, I called that one before the show started. DUD Big heel heat for Hogan there. I think we all know where this is leading. (To Sting bombing as a heel and tanking ratings even worse than CM Punk currently is? Because yeah, it did. And before you get your panties all in a knot, I think we can agree that Punk is awesome as a heel, but it’s clearly not helping business in the slightest, especially wit a big DVD focusing on him and their flagship video game with him on the cover, and it was probably a huge mistake to even do the turn.) US title match: Sid v. Goldberg. The Outsiders destroy Goldberg before the match. Sid attacks and the brawl is on. Sid is just absolutely bleeding a gusher, approaching 0.8 Muta. Man, he sucks as a wrestler, but his blading is top-notch. Historical note: This is the first non- Hogan, non-Flair, authorized blade on WCW PPV since about 1994. (Until Standards & Practices got wind of it.) Much resting abounds, until the ref just stops the match due to bleeding. Goldberg gets the belt. THAT’S IT?!? Six months of shitty buildup and THAT’S the payoff? 1/4* Sting is back. He wants ANYBODY for the title tonight. Oh, you don’t wanna issue those open challenges, Sting, especially when Russo is booking… Strap match: DDP v. Ric Flair. Brawling into the crowd to start. Now Flair tapes an artery of his own, but not as bad as Sid. Flair gets laid out on the announce table and whipped. Flair beats the tar out of him back in the ring, and the figure-four gets two. Thank god, no “touch all the corners” rule. DDP gets a quick Diamond Cutter, but Flair has his foot on the ropes. Nope, Robinson counts three. Everyone seems very confused, but the decision stands. Weird. That was just out of nowhere. David hits the ring with a crowbar, but Kim takes him out with her Kung Fu Action Boobies ™ and a monster beatdown on the Flair family follows. Pretty nothing brawl with a weird ending. **1/2 And now, another Sports Entertainment Moment, as Flair is brought to the ambulance, and it gets hijacked by the Filthy Animals, who are now heels again. (BURIED IN THE DESERT!) Monday Night RAW, April 1997. I’m just saying… Sting is back. Again. And this time, the one person you DON’T want answering your challenges answers… WCW World title match: Sting v. Goldberg. Welcome to Crash TV, as the guaranteed money-maker feud for Starrcade gets hot-shotted on a PPV likely to do a 0.4 buyrate. With three minutes left in the show, to boot. Sting dominates quickly, but spears Goldberg. Goldie no-sells, but Sting comes back with three Stinger splashes, also no-sold by Goldberg. Spear, jackhammer, see ya. SO WHY PUT HIM OVER SID FOR THE TITLE?!? Oh man, I need a shotgun and a bottle of bourbon after that one. 1/4* (And THEN they just vacated the title anyway so they could do their stupid 64 person monstrosity leading up to the next shitty PPV. Because Russo feels, like I do, that tournaments are awesome. Unless Russo is booking them.) The Bottom Line: Let’s see…Blood, scantily clad women, swearing, sexual innuendo, bad wrestling…hey, it’s RAW! While Tony Schiavone might preach “cutting-edge”, it’s really just WCW playing catch-up to where ECW and the WWF already were in 1997, and as Bart Simpson once said… “We’re supposed to catch up with the other class by going SLOWER? Cuckoo…” Welcome to the Russo era. Peak match: **1/2. I guess wrestlers need not apply. Thumbs down.
We haven't seen a stable on WWE TV in quite some time, and I was recently reading a post on PWTorch, and a suggestion was made about adding others to the CM Punk/Paul Heyman alliance, if you will. If you were to add 3 or 4 wrestlers, who would you add and what would you name the stable?
Date: May 19, 1997
Location: Ashville Civic Center, Ashville, North Carolina
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Larry Zbyszko
Reviewed by Tommy Hall
FINALLY past Slamboree and we have four weeks before the Great American
Bash where the world title still won’t be on the line. At least that
show will have a big time grudge match in the main event but we’ll get
to that later on. Anyway tonight is likely going to establish the PPV
main event and deal with the fallout from last night. Let’s get to it.
open with a recap of the ending of the show last night with the old
guys winning and Tony declaring it the BIGGEST MOMENT EVER in WCW.
Flair to open the show. Flair says that last night he erased everything
the NWO has done with the help of Piper and Greene. This draws out Syxx
who says that the wrong guy got pinned last night and that he doesn’t
like the idea of Flair saying he can beat Syxx. Syxx says he can beat
Flair and challenges Flair to a match tonight. Flair says he doesn’t
know if he can beat Hall and Nash but he knows he can beat Syxx so it’s
pounds the punk kid down to start and hammers him in the corner. A
sunset flip gets two for Iaukea and the fans are on fire tonight. Iaukea
crucifixes him down for another two but Regal counters a headscissors
by slamming him down face first onto the mat. Regal kicks him in the
head and suplexes him before the Regal Stretch ends this. Seeing Prince
Iaukea get beaten up makes me smile.
is NWO. Tenay talks about a major name debuting on June 30 on Nitro. I
won’t say who but if what I can find is correct, two major names would
debut that night. Taylor controls early with some European uppercuts but
walks into an atomic drop. Chono knocks him to the floor but back in
the ring a piledriver is broken up by Taylor. Not that it matters as
Taylor charges into a boot and the STF ends this quick. The STF is
Chono’s signature hold if you’re not familiar with him.
isn’t allowed to be in the NWO but he’s anti-WCW. Riggs speeds things
up to start and hits his decent dropkick, only to have Wallstreet take
him down soon thereafter. Wallstreet hooks a chinlock as the fans look
at something in the crowd. A small package gets two for Riggs and
Wallstreet tries to pull something out of his pocket. Nick Patrick stops
him and Riggs gets a sunset flip for the pin. Another short match, but
did we REALLY need to see Scotty Riggs vs. Michael Wallstreet when we
had an hour for the show? I get that it’s for Nick Patrick, but do we
need to focus on him either? Really?
of wasting time, here’s NASCAR driver Mark Martin to talk about a
sweepstakes to win a racecar. The car being brought in is probably what
the fans were looking at in the Riggs match. Flair comes out with Martin
to try to make this look like it’s important.
get a video from last night with Page holding off Savage and the NWO
with a crutch.The Giant eventually made the save when Page got in
and Scott start things off with Jeff being sent into the corner
quickly. Jeff comes back with a neckbreaker to take over but a suplex is
no sold. Scott gorilla presses Jeff down and hits a kind of Angle Slam
off the top for two. Off to Rick vs. Mongo and it’s a slugfest of
course. Mongo takes out Rick’s knee but gets caught by a suplex and what
was supposed to be the middle rope bulldog but wound up being like a
cravate-dog if that makes sense. Everything breaks down and Kevin Greene
runs in with a briefcase shot to Mongo’s back, giving Rick the easy
Apparently they thought last night’s match with White vs. Mongo was so
great that we MUST do another battle of the football players. I mean,
having Mongo as a ring general is a can’t miss idea right? The match was
barely long enough to rate but it’s the longest match of the night so
far. The problem with these tag matches is there’s nothing to fight for
because the Outsiders weren’t going to defend the titles, so why bother
having the other teams fight?
jumps Flair as he comes in but a charge into the corner misses. Flair
fires away with punches and chops and here are the Outsiders for the DQ.
The match wasn’t even a minute long.
gets destroyed because the Horsemen were escorted from the building due
to the Mongo vs. Greene fight. Nash says it’s about putting the old
guys out of business. Syxx has flowers for some reason.
Bischoff for the closing segment. He says that last week he wanted to
talk to Sting but he was nowhere to be found. The NWO called him and
looked for him and even sent a private detective agency after him. Sting
isn’t in the rafters or the locker room tonight because he’s a coward.
Sting will never get a match with Hogan because it would mean bad things
for the Scorpion enthusiast. Bischoff says if Sting were here, he’d
slap the paint off his face. Sting pops up through the ring and lays out
Bischoff to end the show.
This definitely wasn’t a good show but it was miles better than the
previous week’s. I know they only have an hour at this point, but does
WCW know that? At times I’m really not sure given some of the stuff they
put out there. This show felt like it had some energy to it this week
which has been lacking for awhile. Maybe it’s because they’re coming off
a PPV or maybe it’s because the build to Slamboree was incredibly long,
but this felt much fresher and it made the show go by a lot faster.
They’re back to the full two hours next week.
Talk about the show so exciting that it broke fucking Disqus again! Can Randall Orton's movie career handle yet another job? Are they seriously doing Sheamus and Big Show in a Cell match? All this and more tonight on some stupid network no one has heard of!