Mike Reviews: ECW Hardcore TV #332 – 04/09/1999

Hello You!

Here we are with the second Hardcore TV show of the TNN Era, with the last TNN show actually being both noteworthy and rather entertaining to boot. You can read what Scott Keith thought of it by clicking right HERE!

So without further ado, let’s pour ourselves a nice refreshing glass of thumbtacks and take things to The Extreme!!!

Today’s matches were taped from the ECW Arena in Philly

Calling the action is Joey Styles

We open up with a recap of ECW on TNN, as Raven returned to ECW to assist Tommy Dreamer in winning the ECW Tag Team Titles. Paul Heyman spins this as a great slap in the face to Eric Bischoff by ECW, but Eric quite happily fired Raven and I doubt he even cared that much.

Show Intro. This week’s tagline; “ECW Arena, South Philly, Where Even The Cheesesteaks Are Extreme!!!”

Joey Styles is in the ring and welcomes everyone to the show. Joey states that we are two weeks away from Anarchy Rulz on the 19th of September, where Taz will defend his ECW Title. Taz joins us, as we get clips of him suplexing the fudge out of a varied list of opponents. Joey reveals that FMW wants to send a challenger to face Taz at Anarchy Rulz, and Taz grabs the mic from him to declare that it will be Masato Tanaka coming in to challenge him. Taz thinks Tanaka is one tough mofo, and adds that he will need to be as he’s going to get dropped on his head. Taz takes a needless cheap shot at Hulk Hogan next, which only makes him look lesser for it, ditto for when he challenges Triple H next (Both men being the respective Champions of their promotions at the time). Taz talks about how he’s still here after six years and that he’s sick of people coming and going, which is ironic as Taz himself would be out the door before the end of the year. Taz says he knows that Tanaka isn’t going to complain if Taz whups him, which he likes, and then he yells at someone in the crowd who is talking over his promo. This was a pretty great promo segment that made Taz look like a giant star, but sadly ECW was never able to capitalise on it due to Taz jumping to the WWF.

We get clips next of Tommy Dreamer taking on Raven in their first ever one on one match. Beulah sprays Dreamer in the eyes with hairspray, allowing Stevie Richards to deliver a super kick and for Raven to follow up with a DDT to pick up the win. We go back to Joey in front of the ECW Banner, where he says that tonight we’re going to get a recap throughout the night of the Raven/Dreamer feud.

Opening Match
Tom Marquez Vs Uganda

Uganda wrestled as Giant Kimala II over in All Japan and is sporting the star and moon body paint that the real Kamala would wear. Strangely they’ve dubbed over generic dance music for Uganda, when you think it would make much more sense just to dub over one of the many themes they used for Kamala over the years? Uganda throws some chops and then chokes away on poor Marquez, before taking him down with a big shoulder block. Marquez, being ECW’s resident enhancement wrestler at this time, sells Uganda’s offence excellently.

Marquez eventually manages to get a springboard dropkick and throws some punches, but Uganda takes him down with a Hart Attack clothesline and makes a cover, only to pull Marquez up at two.  Uganda splashes Marquez in the corner and then drops a leg. Uganda still doesn’t want to pin however and gets an impressive somersault senton splash to pick up the win. The ECW Arena crowd, normally one of the stingiest crowds in the world when it came to giving a new act a chance, actually pop big for Uganda. Then again, they went nuts for Sid as well, so their taste may have been exaggerated.

WINNER: UGANDA
RATING: SQUASH

Good squash there that made Uganda look like a scary monster whilst also giving Marquez the chance to at least get some offence before finally getting squished. I don’t know if Tom did much after ECW, but he’s been one heck of an enhancement talent in the two matches I’ve seen of him, as his selling is spot on and always makes his opponent look great.

Uganda decides he isn’t finished and splashes Marquez from the top rope following the match.

COMMERCIAL

Back from the break, we get footage of Tommy piledriving Beulah for the first time on the 15th of April 1995, which was the moment he finally got over with the ECW faithful.

Joey recaps that Beulah was a fat girl who Tommy turned down at summer camp who eventually came back into his life as a beautiful super model allied with Raven to torment him.

Match Two
Axl Rotten Vs Balls Mahoney

So a few weeks back Balls Mahoney and Spike Dudley defeated Axl Rotten and New Jack in a Tag Team Title match, which seemingly led to Rotten and Jack turning heel. Nothing has been said about that angle since this show, and Balls actually applauds Axl during his entrance, so it seems like it was completely forgotten. We get a high five and both men start trading punches, with the fans saying the name of each wrestler when they connect. The fight then heads outside (I’m sure you are shocked and/or appalled by this piece of information) where Axl goes after Balls with a pair of scissors.

Balls not surprisingly blades from that, but hits Axl with a beer before throwing him back inside for a chair duel. Before that can happen however, New Jack’s music hits and he joins us with his usual collection of weaponry to turn the fight into a three way dance. Jack works over both men with a spike as we go to a break.

COMMERCIAL

Back from the break, Balls hits Jack with the Nutcracker Suite (Powerslam Michinoku Driver) and pins him to eliminate him, only to then turn around into an Axl chair shot. Balls no sells that and demands another. Axl complies, but Balls no sells it again and demands another. Axl reluctantly complies, and then finally throws in a fourth shot with the chair, only for Balls to kick out at two. Balls pulls himself up again, so Axl puts a bin over his head and hits that with a chair to pick up the win.

WINNER: AXL ROTTEN
RATING: DUD

A rubbish brawl punctuated by four sickening unprotected chair shots to the head. Begone from my screen!

Balls and Axl seem to be reunited as a team following that. Err…yay?

COMMERCIAL

We get a clip from the 17th of June 1995, as Beulah pins Luna thanks to a chair shot from Stevie Richards. Raven adds a DDT and then stomps her with a loaded boot. Tommy Dreamer tries to make the save but gets chaired and busted open by Raven. Raven then breaks Dreamer’s fingers for good measure.

Joey then sends to clips from the 5th of January 1996, where Beulah reveals that she’s pregnant and that “It’s Tommy’s”. This leads to Dreamer running down for the save and then hugging Beulah to establish them as a couple. Tommy randomly taking a bite out of a fruit pie and then piledriving Raven on top of it brings a bit of levity to a pretty serious angle.

We then get clips of Dreamer pinning Raven on the 7th of June 1997 to banish him from ECW. The fan on the front row flipping Dreamer the bird as he finally celebrates defeating Raven is pretty funny.

COMMERCIAL

Back from the break, Joey reveals that, shock of all shocks, Tajiri didn’t defeat Taz for the ECW Title on the previous episode of ECW on TNN. He then sends to the ring, where Steve Corino is in the ring with Tajiri whilst Rhino and Jack Victory are at ringside. Corino insults Tajiri for failing, but Tajiri doesn’t understand that he’s dissing him. Corino says he hates Chinese food and makes a number of complaints about Chinese people, despite the glaringly obvious, which Tajiri still doesn’t understand anyway, so Corino slaps him. Super Crazy comes down to help Tajiri, but Tajiri kicks him and it’s revealed that Corino was only pretending to hate Tajiri in order to trap Crazy, because he thinks the worst wrestlers in the world come from Mexico. Happy with the beat down, the heels decide to leave, but Crazy dives onto everyone and then throws Tajiri into the ring for the main event.

Main Event
Super Crazy Vs Yoshihiro Tajiri

So this would probably be round 37 of 150 between these two, as Tajiri kicks away at Crazy and then spits at the crowd, including the ECW Hat Guy, who makes an offensive gesture with his eyes in response. No one comes out looking good in that. Tajiri sends Crazy into the crowd and follows with a big Asai moonsault. Tajiri puts Crazy back inside but misses a missile dropkick from the top, which leads to Crazy getting the ten punch in the corner. Tajiri replies with a handspring elbow and then goes to a nice bridging German Suplex for two. Crazy slips out of a brain buster however and gets a snap powerbomb for the pin. Well, he was due a win to be fair.

WINNER: SUPER CRAZY
RATING: **

Way too short, but good action whilst it lasted.

Crazy celebrates briefly and the show quickly fades to black.

In Conclusion

Not much to the in ring this week but the Taz promo was strong and the Raven/Dreamer recaps were a good introduction to the feud for people who were new to the product who might be checking it out following the TNN show. We are in desperate need of some fresh matches for these TV shows though, as we seemingly get the same combinations of guys every week right now.