The SmarK Rant for Mid-South Wrestling – 02.23.85
Well, I couldn’t just leave it with another Best Dressed Man contest hanging over our heads!
Taped from Shreveport, LA
Your hosts are Jim Ross & Joel Watts
Last week: Butch Reed has a wild match with Kamala that turns into a massive brawl between Team Akbar and the babyfaces, resulting in Steve Williams using his new “perfectly legal” armpad to knock Terry Taylor out.
Buddy Landel v. Butch Reed
I find it weird that no one ever commented on the fact that there were two guys running around with “Hacksaw” as a nickname, considering the lengths other promotions would go to. Buddy goes for the right hands, but Reed just catches his fist and squeezes it, as Buddy collapses to the mat in pain in a hilarious spot. And then in an even FUNNIER spot, Buddy offers him a free shot. And then Reed takes it and Buddy is OUT. That was an amazingly timed bit of physical comedy, complete with the camera shooting from the corner while Buddy flops into the turnbuckle like a ragdoll from one punch. Reed slams him and follows with a bulldog for two, but Buddy gets a foot on the ropes. So Butch jumps on the knee and goes to work on it. Finally Buddy goes to the eyes in desperation, like WWE advertising a Brock cash-in and then not delivering. Three weeks in a row. That kind of desperation. Buddy chokes him out and pounds away, but Reed has had enough and beats on him in the corner, setting up a lariat and flying shoulderblock to finish at 5:14. This was a great bit of business to reheat Reed by feeding him Akbar’s lowest-tier geek and a tremendously fun match to boot.
Meanwhile, someone from the Tulsa boy’s home presents Butch Reed with a plaque to commemorate all his volunteer work there. It’s basically a piece of board with “Butch Reed” written on it in Sharpie. Maybe he should teach them some woodworking skills while he’s there. Perhaps they could pool their orphan funds and buy a can of shellac next time.
The Dirty White Boys v. Terry Daniels & Tommy Pritchard
Young Tommy throws down with Len Denton and draws a good reaction for it, and the babyfaces work on Anthony’s arm in their corner. And then Daniels promptly misses a bodypress like a doofus and the White Boys proceed to destroying him. Anthony with a clothesline and Denton slaps him around on the mat. I find it interesting that Tony Anthony basically pulled a Davey Boy and took possession of the tag team gimmick as a single later on. Pritchard gets the hot tag but Denton trips him up from the apron and the White Boys get a double legweep to set up Denton’s samoan drop for the pin at 3:57. Perhaps Pritchard should go back to school for a bit. Maybe pursue a medical degree.
Best Dressed Man in Mid-South – ROUND TWO!
So Dibiase is back again, wearing his tux and carrying his baseball bat again, but this time the judging will be done ELECTRONICALLY. And we even cut to Joel Watts outside in the truck with all the super-scientific equipment to really hammer home that everything is on the up and up. So Duggan gets searched again and Dibiase gives up the bat again. Jim Ross tells everyone to make noise for the winner and stay silent for the loser, and Duggan gets a thunderous applause. So Ross reminds the crowd that boos count just as much as cheers, basically telling the crowd to stay quiet for Dibiase. Unfortunately the idiot redneck fans still boo a little bit, thus ruining the purity of the gag. Dibiase remains outraged, claiming (rightly so) that Ross was coaching the audience on what to do. Man’s got a point. JR notes that Duggan had “twice the decibel level” of Dibiase, which triggers my math geek OCD a bit. THAT’S NOT HOW DECIBELS WORK. Anyway, Dibiase storms out to the truck with his baseball bat, and takes out his frustrations on Duggan’s car’s windshield. “Holy shit!” Duggan yells on the way out to the parking lot, which is surprisingly not bleeped.
Back from the break, JR weasels out of any responsibility for this travesty, even though he told the crowd not to react!
Terry Taylor & Iceman Parsons v. The Blue Demon & Paul Brown
Jake Roberts storms out before the match and he still wants Taylor because he’s some kind of gutless coward. Perhaps even a chicken. “I don’t turn my back on someone I’m afraid of”, notes Jake, and then turns his back on Taylor and leaves, thus proving his claim. The babyfaces double-team Brown and finish with Parsons’ out of control clothesline at 1:14. Like, is the move supposed to be deliberately terrible like that? I’m really hoping we get that Roberts v. Taylor blowoff soon.
Mid-South Tag team titles: The Rock N Roll Express v. The Alamo Busters
It’s a rematch from last week, with only one referee this time at the behest of the challengers. The RNR double-teams Chavo’s arm to start, but Hector comes in and takes Ricky down with a headscissors. Robert comes in and goes after the knee and they switch off on that, but Chavo gets a cheapshot to distract Robert and the Guerreros go to work on Ricky. The Express does the “double whip and backdrop” spot to clear the ring, and we take a break as Mid-South rolls on! Back with Ricky slugging on Chavo, but he walks into a northern lights suplex and the Guerreros get the heat. So…if you take a break during a match, you show the heat spot AFTER the break and not DURING? What sorcery is this? Chavo with a Boston crab on Ricky, but he makes the ropes, so Hector switches in and has a bow-and-arrow hold go south on him. So he powerslams Ricky instead and gets two. Chavo slugs Ricky down and Joel is worried we’re running out of TV time again, just as Robert gets the hot tag. And then we get a spectacular double criss-cross and Chavo deliberately nails the ref in the chaos, and then takes out Robert on the floor. Back in the Guerreros hit Ricky with a double suplex and give him a double bow-and-arrow, but Robert dives on top of them while they’re on their backs, and gets the pin to retain at 7:35. WHAT A FINISH! I have literally never seen anyone doing that before, and it’s brilliant. Check this out:
And then we close with a music video of the Rock N Roll Express, which Joel was trying to show last week before time ran out. It’s called…uh…
Oh great, the Matrix is glitching out again.
Anyway, I’m sure it’s a fine piece of music video that is in no way endorsed by or affiliated with any music produced or written by Paul Stanley and Gene Simmons.
Next week: Kerry Von Erich and Gino Hernandez are here for some reason!