Coliseum Video Rant 2018: WWF’s Greatest Hits! (04.25.91)

Coliseum Video Rant 2018: WWF’s Greatest Hits! (04.25.91)

Hosted by Sean Mooney

Bonus points for leaving the wrestling figure commercials intact at the beginning of the video.

So this is another of the quickie 60 minute tapes that were distributed for sale rather than rental.

Intercontinental title: Kerry Von Erich v. Mr. Perfect

This is the rematch from Summerslam as they pretty much immediately regretted putting the title on Tornado and needed to switch it back. You know, just in case he died on the job or something inconvenient like that. This was aired on WWF Superstars at the time but taped WAY in advance. Ted Dibiase pays off Finkel and acts as guest ring announcer, which is as good a reason as any for him to be at ringside for this. Vince is SHOCKED that Howard would sell out. I’m amused by the announcers talking about how Perfect “only” had 10 days notice for the title match at Summerslam, which is hilarious here in the time of Money in the Bank cash-ins and such. Kerry slams Perfect and sends him running outside, then rams him into Bobby. Now what did the Brain do? Back in, Kerry works the arm and Perfect bails again, but Kerry hammers away in the corner before missing a charge. Guest ring announcer Dibiase gets a shot in from the outside, and Perfect dropkicks Kerry to the floor, allowing Dibiase to get some further abuse. Back in, the ref is bumped in an obvious setup spot and Kerry miraculously makes the comeback with the discus punch. This brings in Dibiase for a shot to the head with the belt, and he revives Perfect and NOW YOU’RE GONNA SEE A PERFECTPLEX to regain the title at 6:36. Complete junk, and it was actually appeared that they were editing the match like crazy to make it watchable. I know, that’s about as shocking as Howard Finkel taking a bribe. 0 for 1.

Rick Martel v. Marty Jannetty

I guess this is from some kind of Survivor Series special, because there’s banners in the arena for the show. A quick check reveals it was from the “Survivor Series Showdown”, although the commentary changes from Gorilla and Bobby to Mooney and Hayes here. They do a bunch of stalling and jumping jacks to start, but Martel gets a cheapshot in the corner and immediately chokes him out. And then we’re clipped to Jannetty working the ankle and we get a thrilling portion of them laying around on the mat. Martel fights up, but Marty takes him down with a half-assed spinebuster and goes back to the leg again as we resume the napping. Martel tries the dreaded thumb to the eye, but Marty goes back to the leg until Rick dumps him to the floor to escape. Back in, now we really ramp up the excitement as Martel works the back, but Marty comes back with a kneelift and middle rope bulldog for two. Martel dumps him again to slow it down and then dodges a slingshot, and gets the anticlimactic pin at 9:41. Wow, a flat back bump, how devastating. 0 for 2.

Hulk Hogan & Tugboat v. Rhythm & Blues

Off to the famous Octoberfest episode of SNME now, as Hulk single-handedly destroys both geek heels and Tugboat works on Valentine’s arm. Valentine comes back with chops, but Honky comes in and walks into a bearhug. The heels work “The Tugster” over, but Hulk gets the hot tag, prompting Jimmy Hart to run to the dressing room. Hulk is about to hit the legdrop, but Tugboat grabs him and tells him that Earthquake is standing 100 feet away at the dressing room doors. So then we’re clipped to Tugboat making a comeback on the heels, but Honky nails him with the guitar for the DQ at 7:12. And then all the heels team up on Hogan 4-on-1 while Tugboat lays around outside like he tripped through a wall or something. And then FINALLY Tugboat makes the save. No wonder Hulk didn’t want him in his corner at Summerslam if that’s how helpful he was gonna be. 0 for 3.

Next up, a video montage of OUTRAGEOUS HITS, with a bunch of random moves set to generic background music.

Big Bossman v. Barbarian

From some random Canadian house show in early 1991. I’m assuming it was taped for Prime Time and then repurposed with Sean & Lord Alfred on commentary here. Bossman slugs away to start but misses a charge and goes into the post, giving the ballbearing the advantage. Clothesline puts Bossman on the floor and Barbarian runs him into the post. Back in, a backbreaker gets two. Barbarian works the back for a bit and goes to the bearhug. Bossman fights out, but Barbarian puts him down with the big boot, but then shockingly misses the elbow off the middle rope. Bossman fights back with an enzuigiri for two, then drops him with a stungun for two. Bossman goes AERIAL with a bodypress, but Barbarian rolls through for two. Bossman tries a sunset flip, Barbarian blocks, but he stops to pose and gets pinned at 9:03. Barbarian and new partner Haku team up for a beatdown after the loss. Everyone was sleepwalking through this, as their Rumble match was way better. 0 for 4.

WWF Title: Ultimate Warrior v. Ted Dibiase

From The Main Event #4, the show that was taped as a Saturday Night’s Main Event before NBC hacked 30 minutes off it and put it in prime time to die. Dibiase slugs away to start, but Warrior clotheslines him to the floor and beats on him out there. Back in, Warrior with a double axehandle and he pounds on Dibiase in the corner, but misses a blind charge and Dibiase takes over with his own double axehandle for two. Piledriver gets two. Another one is reversed by Warrior, but he goes after Virgil (perhaps looking for an autograph) and Dibiase dumps him to the floor. We’re clipped to Dibiase working the neck and getting the fistdrop for two. Dibiase goes to the headlock and Warrior powers out, but Dibiase puts him down with another clothesline. Warrior come back with a backslide for two, but Dibiase suplexes him for two. Warrior with a sunset flip for two, but Dibiase tosses him to the floor to cut him off again. Back in, Warrior hulks up and gets a suplex as Vince extols the “science v. roughhouse” nature of the match. Vince saying the word “roughhouse” always cracks me up. Collision and Dibiase is up first, but Warrior makes the comeback with more clotheslines than an NXT trainee until Virgil runs in for the DQ at 9:57. And then Macho King runs in for the royal beatdown to close out the tape, although Warrior fights up and displays the belt triumphantly. Hot take: Ted Dibiase was a great pro wrestler who knew exactly how to get a good match out of Warrior’s limitations. Unfortunately, it was too little, WAY too late. 1 for 5.

The Pulse

Hard pass.