The SmarK Rant for WWF Sunday Night Heat–09.13.98

The SmarK Rant for WWF Sunday Night Heat – 09.13.98

We missed this one over the weekend, so might as well play catchup a bit. This is the first episode airing after the initial 6-episode order for the show finished up, and USA was apparently so happy with the ratings that they renewed the show and started financing live tapings and such.

Your hosts are Shane McMahon & Jim Ross

Ken Shamrock v. Vader

The arena has an odd setup here, with no ramp and a smaller screen offset to the right of the aisle. Vader blocks a bodypress with a slam, but misses an elbow and Ken comes back with a clothesline for two. Ken tries for the “arm submission” but he’s no Ronda Rousey and Vader is able to make the ropes and escape to the floor. Back in, Vader wallops him and adds a splash for two. Vader goes up and hits Shamrock with the flying splash for two. Vader takes him down with a Fujiwara armbar and boxes his ears in the corner, but misses a corner splash to allow Shamrock to make the comeback. Powerslam gets two. Shamrock tries a rana and Vader blocks with a powerbomb and goes up, but misses a splash and lands in Shamrock’s anklelock at 4:16. Fun match, good finishing sequence. It was reasonably stiff, but Shamrock used an armbar takedown to set up an anklelock, so I give it…

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Oh, and a full point. 1 for 1.

Afterwards, Shamrock complains about only ever getting one title shot, and notes that he’s beaten everyone in the promotion but has never got his shot at Steve Austin. I think Austin is kind of busy with other things right now, KEN. Or did he not watch the opening recap where Austin got booked in a FUCKING TRIPLE THREAT MATCH AGAINST THE BROTHERS OF DESTRUCTION. FUCK! KEN! I’M SO FUCKING SICK OF YOUR BULLSHIT, KEN. This is why Canada always hated you. Shit like that. YOU’RE SO SELFISH, KEN SHAMROCK. Other people have problems, too!

Meanwhile, Sable cuts a promo on Jacqueline from the set of “Pacific Blue”. She wants an evening gown match tomorrow night, if Jackie has the guts. And you thought they were brave and progressive NOW!

Val Venis v. Marvelous Marc Mero

Val attacks with the running knees and hits a legsweep, but Jackie comes in for the DQ at 0:51. Even the announcers are kind of taken aback at how ridiculously short the match was. This brings out Dustin from the audience, and he lays out Val with his sign and chokes him out with his belt. 1 for 2.

Taka Michinoku v. Gangrel

Gangrel is now from the mysterious town of “Santa Cruz, CA”, in whatever strange realm that is. He attacks Taka to start and goes after Wally Yamaguchi, but Taka hits him with a baseball slide and follows with a quebrada to the floor. Back in, Gangrel hits with a double arm suplex and necks him on the ropes. We get some weird verbiage from JR as he notes that RAW is live in San Jose on Monday, and then “the giant Titantron will be in Sacramento the next night.” But they’re not TAPING an episode of RAW, surely? Gangrel with a northern lights suplex and he drops an elbow for two as JR points out that Taka hasn’t actually defended his title in a few weeks. Longer than that, I’m pretty sure. Taka comes back with a leg lariat and sets up for the finish, but Gangrel reverses into the Implant DDT at 3:53. Taka is basically just a job guy now. We’re getting close to him dropping the title as well, I think. 1 for 3.

D-Lo Brown v. Kane

Sources say that Mick Foley may never be the same again after Kane dropped a sledgehammer on him at Summerslam, notes JR. Those are some vague sources. I bet it was Bruce Prichard. Maybe he’ll talk about it on his podcast, and note that Mick WAS going to be the same, but then he suggested to Vince that Mick Foley should never be the same again and Vince totally went with it. D-Lo is wisely terrified of actually locking up with Kane, and he quickly gets chased out of the ring…where Undertaker is waiting. Back in, Kane gets a slam, but misses an elbow and D-Lo lays the smack talk on him. At which point Kane sits up, no-sells all of D-Lo’s offense, and clotheslines him to the floor. Undertaker beats on him outside, but the Rock storms in and lays out Kane with a chair. D-Lo stupidly badmouths him AGAIN instead of going for the pin, and Kane no-sells, but then Mark Henry and Undertaker both run in for the DQ at 4:17. And then the Brothers team up and give D-Lo an INDYTAKER! Nothing to the match. 1 for 4.

Lumberjack match: Jeff Jarrett v. X-Pac

Jarrett dropkicks him to the floor and the heels toss him back in, and then Jarrett gets the same treatment on the other side. Back in, X-Pac gets two. Pac misses a charge and crotches himself in the corner, and Jarrett takes him down with an armbar and whips him into the corner, then tosses him for another beating from the heels. Back in, Jarrett with a suplex for two. Blind charge misses and X-Pac comes back, but Jarrett gets a backdrop suplex to take over again and we take a break. Back with X-Pac hitting his kicks and the broncobuster, but the heels pull X-Pac out of the ring and the brawl is on. In the ring, X-Factor on Jarrett, but Mark Canterbury slams him and Jarrett gets the pin at 5:35. Decent and inoffensive. 2 for 5.

Steve Austin joins us to wrap things up, and he will not give some son of a bitch the satisfaction of taking the title from him. And if Ken Shamrock wants a title shot, then bring it on. So Shamrock does indeed bring it, but a swarm of referees and Vince McMahon come out to stall, and WE’RE OUT OF TIME.

The Pulse

Decent show this week, clearly a time-filler episode with RAW moved to Saturday because of tennis or dogs or the robot dogs playing tennis and when they bark they shoot tennis balls out of their mouths or whatever it was at the time.