The SmarK Rant for NJPW Dominion – 06.09.18
This show is LONG and I’ve got shit to do in my real life, so I’m gonna do this in chunks every day, best I can. Here’s part one!
Live from Osaka Jo Hall
Your hosts are Kevin Kelly & Don Callis
IWGP Junior tag titles: Desperado & Yoshinobu Kanemaru v. Rappongi 3K
SHO & YOH send the champs flying off the apron before the bell, and back in Yoh gets two on Kanemaru. Suzuki-Gun hauls them out and they brawl into the crowd, where Kanemaru drops YOH with a draping DDT off the apron. He beats the count at 19, and Kanemaru goes to work with a neck vice until YOH makes the ropes. He fights back on Desperado and suplexes Kanemaru, and it’s over to SHO, who runs wild with a spear on both guys. German suplex on Desperado, and he follows with a deadlift version for two. Desperado comes back with a spinebuster and they hit a double-team kick into a sideslam for two. SHO and Desperado slug it out and Desperado stomps the foot to win that, but SHO powers him into a body vice and YOH turns it into a double team for two. SHO with a backstabber into a YOH knee on Desperado, but Kanemaru breaks things up before accidentally misting his own partner. 3K misses and Desperado takes the ref, but the low blow misses and SHO hits a Last Ride into a lungblower for two. SHO tries the package piledriver, but the ref gets distracted momentarily and Kanemaru hits SHO with the whiskey bottle and Desperado gets the pin at 9:30. Kind of a surprising result. Match was good, but as usual too much gaga from the Suzuki-gun guys. *** Callis reads a tweet wondering if Rocky Romero is the worst wrestler in the history of pro wrestling. #KimChee
Juice Robinson & David Finlay v. Jay White & Yoshi-Hashi
Jay attacks Juice to start, which Yoshi-Hashi doesn’t appear to be cool with, and they exchange chops before Juice puts him down with a spinkick. He suggests that Jay should “eat shit, motherfucker” and Callis asks for a translation from the interpreter. Japan is indeed a magical land with a strange language. Finlay comes in and pounds on White, but he gets caught with a snaps suplex that lays him out and CHAOS goes to work on him. Yoshi with a delayed suplex for two. White with a pumphandle into a backbreaker for two while Juice makes faces on the apron. Yoshi with a cravat and some ref distraction prevents a tag to escape, but Finlay comes back with a dropkick and makes the hot tag to Juice. He slugs away and hits a corner clothesline while screaming “Eat shit!” , then hangs Hashi in the tree of woe and hits them both with a cannonball. Juice goes up with a high cross on White for two and the faces hit a double team flapjack on him, but White hits a backdrop suplex on Juice to turn the tide again. Juice fights back with a lariat on White, but Yoshi-Hashi lays him out with a lariat, and White hits the Blade Runner on Finlay. Juice catches White with Pulp Friction, however, and gets the pin at 7:32. Fun match, hot finish, and Robinson is having SO much fun with this character as opposed to the death march that was CJ Parker in NXT. So now Juice is likely to get the next shot at the US title, and he’s probably got a pretty good case for it. ***
Minoru Suzuki & Zack Sabre Jr. v. Toru Yano & Tomohiro Ishii
Callis notes that neither guy is afraid of Suzuki, since Ishii is tough and Yano is insane. Suzuki and Ishii exchange forearms to start and yell at each other a lot, then exchange neck-based submission attempts before Zack tags in and tortures Ishii on the mat. Ishii escapes and knocks Suzuki off the apron to REALLY piss him off, and the babyfaces double-team Zack while Suzuki yells at the ref. Yano has nothing to offer against Suzuki-gun and quickly gets beat up and tied in knots by Suzuki while the announcers make fun of his tights. “We keep hoping that someone puts him out of the business, but no one’s succeeded yet.” Suzuki beats on him with forearms, but Yano comes back with an atomic drop and thankfully brings Ishii back in as he unloads with chops on Suzuki and they go back to hitting each other in the face. Ishii escapes the Gotch piledriver and they throw more forearms just to prove who’s tougher. THEY’RE GOING TO BREAK MY HAKU RATING SYSTEM, GODDAMMIT.
Finally they both just hit each other so hard that they both go down, and both make the tag. Zack quickly tries up Yano in the ropes and gets an abdominal stretch, but Yano escapes with a hiptoss and undoes the turnbuckle pad. Shockingly, that proves to be an ineffective weapon. Zack backslides him for two, but Yano tries a low blow and Zack actually catches Yano’s hand with his own knees to block it, then wraps him up and submits him at 8:50. That was an amazing finish to a goofy match. **3/4 Ishii and Suzuki decide to get into a chair-swinging battle afterwards and brawl back to the dressing room while the terrified young boys try to stop them. Spoiler: It doesn’t work.
One hour down, another four to go! We continue tomorrow.