The SmarK Rant for Monday Night RAW – 07.25.94
Taped from Bushkill, PA
Your hosts are Jim Ross & Randy Savage
Nikolai Volkoff v. Tatanka
At stake here is a $10,000 bet that Tatanka made with Dibiase, although apparently the result leaked on Reddit so he’ll only make like $5 on it. Volkoff chokes him out in the corner and on the ropes and on a plane and in a train, Sam I Am. And then we switch to the stomping, before Tatanka mounts a comeback with a dropkick to put Volkoff on the floor. Back in, Volkoff retains control with, yes, you guessed it, more stomping. Tatanka comes back with chops and finishes with a small package at 6:13. WEAK SAUCE. ½* Randy Savage demands that Dibiase pay out the 10 grand, and Tatanka throws out a challenge to Lex Luger, who comes out and does not deny any involvement with Dibiase.
The Headshrinkers v. Barry Hardy & some other geek
Samu hits the guy with a DDT from the middle rope and the Shrinkers double-team him in the corner as the announcers continue talking up a Heavenly Bodies feud that never materialized. Despite being babyface champions for a couple of months now, the Shrinkers are still totally acting like heels. Fatu finishes with the flying splash at 3:48.
Jim Neidhart v. Jim Powers
I have no idea how Powers even can move with that physique. Neidhart throws him around the ring while Owen rants to the camera, and a backdrop suplex gets two. Powerslam and a camel clutch that looks like it was supposed to be a dragon sleeper of some kind finishes at 3:00. Why bother giving Neidhart squashes? He was just there as Owen’s heavy anyway.
Alundra Blayze joins us to discuss her open challenge, and she’s finished with Luna Vachon. I didn’t even know she had started with her. She’s more concerned with Bull Nakano next week, but Luna storms out and claims responsibility for bringing her in to challenge.
Meanwhile, a mobster has a stereotypical Italian restaurant owner whacked because he really wants to watch RAW. Apparently the Tatanka v. Volkoff and Headshrinkers matches didn’t cover the spectrum of offending ALL the minorities watching and they wanted to cover their bases.
Yokozuna v. Adam Bomb
This is fresh off Bomb’s babyface turn, and what better way to launch a new career than by getting squashed by Yokozuna? Bomb manages to overpower Yoko and put him on the floor, and we take a break. I will take the opportunity to once again note that “Adam Bomb” is a great cheesy gimmick name and was kind of wasted of Bryan Clark. Back with Yoko beating him down to take over and going to the Vulcan nerve pinch, but Bomb fights out of it and dodges a corner splash. Bomb comes back with a DDT and goes up with the flying clothesline, but Kwang trips him up and Bomb gets distracted and counted out at 10:25. There are some shit finishes tonight. Match was a lot better than I would have guessed going in, though. ** I don’t recall if I ever had the honor of sitting through Kwang v. Adam Bomb at a house show around this time, but it seems like something that would have happened to me.
Duke Droese v. Dwayne Gill
They’re STILL going on about how inappropriate it is to use garbage cans and what a bad person Lawler is for doing so. Droese gets a press slam and suplex, and a powerslam. The TRASH COMPACTOR finishes at 2:30.
Next week: Alundra Blayze v. Bull Nakano and Shawn Michaels v Razor Ramon! That can’t possibly suck.